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1
00:00:30,061 --> 00:00:31,551
Morning!
2
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:38,228
- Need some help?
- Be great. That'd be great.
3
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:40,264
Okay.
4
00:00:45,247 --> 00:00:48,342
Hey, I'll do it.
Don't worry about it. Relax.
5
00:00:48,385 --> 00:00:50,115
- I got it.
- Nice, thank you.
6
00:00:50,154 --> 00:00:52,122
- What is this, grape juice?
- Yes, grape juice.
7
00:00:52,156 --> 00:00:55,092
- You guys drink grape juice?
- Sure we do, it's a great antioxidant.
8
00:00:55,127 --> 00:00:56,321
Come on over and have some.
9
00:00:56,361 --> 00:00:58,159
You never see people
drinking grape juice.
10
00:00:58,197 --> 00:01:01,429
- It's delicious, you'd love it.
- I think it's a very underrated juice.
11
00:01:01,468 --> 00:01:03,663
- It is!
- I wonder why more people don't buy it.
12
00:01:03,704 --> 00:01:06,538
Larry. Larry.
13
00:01:06,575 --> 00:01:09,739
Did you know that a sex offender
moved into the neighborhood?
14
00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:13,079
- Yeah, I saw his picture on a flyer.
- I know, it's terrible!
15
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:15,108
Yeah, he's
a bald guy, too.
16
00:01:15,153 --> 00:01:17,121
- A bald guy.
- Yeah, a bald guy.
17
00:01:17,155 --> 00:01:20,284
- It's very bad for the bald community.
- Oh, Larry.
18
00:01:20,326 --> 00:01:23,626
What's very bad for the community
is that he's a sex offender.
19
00:01:23,663 --> 00:01:25,460
I know, as long as he's gonna
be a sex offender
20
00:01:25,498 --> 00:01:27,126
I wish he had a full head of hair.
21
00:01:27,168 --> 00:01:29,296
- Oh, Larry!
- Let me ask you a question.
22
00:01:29,338 --> 00:01:32,466
Have you... have you guys
been getting your newspaper?
23
00:01:32,507 --> 00:01:34,601
Yeah, yeah.
24
00:01:34,644 --> 00:01:36,077
- You have?
- Yes.
25
00:01:36,112 --> 00:01:38,547
Hmm. I haven't gotten
my paper in six days.
26
00:01:38,582 --> 00:01:40,414
I did see somebody
27
00:01:40,452 --> 00:01:43,250
walk up your
walkway there,
28
00:01:43,288 --> 00:01:44,916
- pick up your newspaper...
- What?!
29
00:01:44,957 --> 00:01:47,426
But I figured maybe it
was somebody that you knew
30
00:01:47,461 --> 00:01:48,951
because he had on a suit.
31
00:01:48,996 --> 00:01:51,557
A guy in a suit
is taking my paper?
32
00:01:51,599 --> 00:01:54,033
That's why she thought it
might your friend of yours.
33
00:01:54,068 --> 00:01:56,594
Jesus!
That's crazy!
34
00:01:56,639 --> 00:01:59,871
- Well, you know.
- Guy in a suit is taking my newspaper?
35
00:01:59,909 --> 00:02:02,606
A suit's a good cover if
a guy's gonna steal a paper.
36
00:02:02,647 --> 00:02:04,980
If you saw him again,
would know him?
37
00:02:05,017 --> 00:02:07,451
Yeah yeah, I'm pretty
sure I'd know him.
38
00:02:12,826 --> 00:02:15,260
A guy in a suit?
Huh?
39
00:02:15,295 --> 00:02:18,163
- Makes no sense.
- Stealing papers?
40
00:02:18,199 --> 00:02:21,101
- Makes no sense.
- I know.
41
00:02:21,137 --> 00:02:22,799
I don't get it.
42
00:02:22,839 --> 00:02:24,966
I don't get it at all.
43
00:02:25,008 --> 00:02:26,806
What's a motivation there?
44
00:02:26,844 --> 00:02:29,278
Guy in a suit's gotta
be able to afford a paper.
45
00:02:29,313 --> 00:02:32,112
Yeah. Hey, you coming
to Passover Seder?
46
00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:35,280
- Cheryl's doing a Seder, huh?
- Yeah, for my father.
47
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,085
Does she know
what she's doing?
48
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:39,115
- I don't know, she'll find out.
- A little problem.
49
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,220
Susie's sister's in town,
50
00:02:41,263 --> 00:02:45,030
which means my brother-in-law's
in town which means that
51
00:02:45,068 --> 00:02:46,865
their kid's in town and
52
00:02:46,903 --> 00:02:49,702
my brother-in-law
is a little...
53
00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:53,040
- He's a conservative?
- He's a conservative.
54
00:02:53,078 --> 00:02:55,377
- Your brother-in-law's a conservative?
- Big time.
55
00:02:55,414 --> 00:02:58,110
- Big time conservative
- Do you want to bring him to the Seder?
56
00:02:58,150 --> 00:02:59,778
- Yeah.
- Fine, I don't care.
57
00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:02,085
- I'll talk to you later.
- All right, very good.
58
00:03:02,123 --> 00:03:05,388
- Thanks for lunch!
- Sure.
59
00:03:18,477 --> 00:03:20,537
These machines
are really finicky.
60
00:03:22,181 --> 00:03:24,013
Yeah, let me give
you a hand with that.
61
00:03:24,051 --> 00:03:26,212
No no no no.
62
00:03:26,253 --> 00:03:28,688
- No, let me help you out.
- No, I don't even care... you know what?
63
00:03:28,723 --> 00:03:30,919
No, let me get this.
I know how to do it. I've got the touch.
64
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,951
- I don't even need to read it.
- Watch watch watch watch.
65
00:03:34,998 --> 00:03:37,432
I just know how to do it.
I know this machine.
66
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,459
Go ahead.
67
00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,704
You want one?
68
00:03:42,741 --> 00:03:46,644
Yeah, but I'll close it again and pay
for it, because, you know.
69
00:03:46,679 --> 00:03:49,274
- It's just...
- Oh. Okay.
70
00:03:53,288 --> 00:03:55,222
- Okay, well...
- Yeah.
71
00:03:55,257 --> 00:03:58,955
- Thanks a lot.
- Hey, I'm sorry, you're...
72
00:03:58,995 --> 00:04:01,089
you're Larry David, right?
73
00:04:01,131 --> 00:04:04,693
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry to bother you like this.
74
00:04:04,736 --> 00:04:06,637
I never, ever do this.
75
00:04:06,672 --> 00:04:09,266
But, you know, I'm sort
of new to the neighborhood.
76
00:04:09,308 --> 00:04:11,743
And I'm a huge
"Seinfeld" fan.
77
00:04:11,778 --> 00:04:13,575
- No kidding?
- Yeah, the biggest.
78
00:04:13,613 --> 00:04:15,946
- Seriously? Get out of here.
- Yeah yeah yeah, seriously.
79
00:04:15,983 --> 00:04:19,010
No, I'm, probably the biggest
"Seinfeld" fan ever.
80
00:04:19,054 --> 00:04:21,523
- What a great show. I miss it!
- Ah, go on.
81
00:04:21,558 --> 00:04:23,492
"Puffy Shirt" is
my favorite episode.
82
00:04:23,526 --> 00:04:26,690
You know what?
I love that show.
83
00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:28,562
- Really?
- That's one of my favorite episodes.
84
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,966
Yeah, it's great.
It's great.
85
00:04:31,002 --> 00:04:33,096
How did you guys come up
with the low talker?
86
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:36,940
Well, I mean it was
pretty easy to come up with.
87
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:38,946
I was out to dinner
with one.
88
00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:41,039
And then you write
it and you put it on the TV.
89
00:04:41,082 --> 00:04:44,246
- Yeah, yeah.
- I'm not an artist, you know?
90
00:04:44,286 --> 00:04:46,380
So it's interesting to see how
an artist like yourself works.
91
00:04:46,423 --> 00:04:48,721
Well, that's very nice
of you. Thank you.
92
00:04:48,758 --> 00:04:52,217
- It's incredible. It's really an honor.
- Thank you so much.
93
00:04:52,263 --> 00:04:54,755
I'm Rick Leftowitz.
Great to meet you.
94
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,292
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
95
00:04:57,337 --> 00:04:59,805
- Welcome to the neighborhood.
- Thank you.
96
00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:12,051
Oh, boy,
look at the Jew girl.
97
00:05:12,089 --> 00:05:14,319
- I am so Jewish right now.
- Holy cow!
98
00:05:14,358 --> 00:05:16,327
Where did you learn
how to do this?
99
00:05:16,361 --> 00:05:18,330
Well, Susie's been
coaching me through it all.
100
00:05:18,364 --> 00:05:20,025
- She has?
- Yeah.
101
00:05:20,065 --> 00:05:22,125
Do you even know what
this thing is called?
102
00:05:22,168 --> 00:05:25,935
This is a, uh...
Haroset.
103
00:05:25,973 --> 00:05:29,637
- Very good.
- It's a lot like ambrosia, except...
104
00:05:29,678 --> 00:05:32,112
I wish my mother were alive to hear
you say that word out loud.
105
00:05:32,147 --> 00:05:35,743
Yeah, I wish my mother could hear
me say... my mother would flip
106
00:05:35,785 --> 00:05:37,845
- if she knew I was doing this.
- Looks good.
107
00:05:37,888 --> 00:05:40,915
Thank you.
I mean, I'm trying.
108
00:05:40,959 --> 00:05:45,192
It seems like a lot of trouble
you people go through for this.
109
00:05:45,231 --> 00:05:46,665
You know what I mean?
110
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:48,497
"You people?" I don't know
if I like that so much.
111
00:05:48,535 --> 00:05:50,265
- You Jews, is that better?
- That's better, yeah.
112
00:05:50,305 --> 00:05:55,039
Okay, I feel like I've been cutting
apples for, like, two hours.
113
00:05:56,378 --> 00:05:59,348
Okay, hey,
you know what?
114
00:05:59,382 --> 00:06:01,351
Marla and Mark
got back together.
115
00:06:01,385 --> 00:06:04,286
- Really?
- Yeah.
116
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:07,258
Good for them.
Good for them!
117
00:06:07,292 --> 00:06:09,352
I thought you'd be
happy to hear that.
118
00:06:09,395 --> 00:06:11,864
That's nice. That's nice.
When did this happen?
119
00:06:11,899 --> 00:06:14,834
About a week ago,
and he moved back in with her.
120
00:06:14,868 --> 00:06:16,666
- Really?
- Yeah.
121
00:06:16,705 --> 00:06:19,140
- Wow.
- And they're coming tomorrow.
122
00:06:19,175 --> 00:06:21,040
- Oh, you know who else is coming?
- Who?
123
00:06:21,077 --> 00:06:22,978
Jeff asked me if he could bring
his in-laws.
124
00:06:23,013 --> 00:06:24,605
I know.
I talked to Susie.
125
00:06:24,648 --> 00:06:28,141
Jeez, you know what
I just realized?
126
00:06:28,186 --> 00:06:30,678
I never followed through
on my Christmas present to Mark.
127
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:34,751
Remember I got him a subscription
to the "Times"?
128
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:36,659
- "The New York Times."
- Yeah.
129
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:39,598
And then he and Marla
broke up.
130
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:42,194
I don't know.
I kinda forgot about it.
131
00:06:42,237 --> 00:06:44,331
So you just didn't
give him his gift?
132
00:06:44,374 --> 00:06:45,898
Yeah.
133
00:06:45,942 --> 00:06:47,672
Because he broke up
with his girlfriend?
134
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,178
Yeah.
135
00:06:49,213 --> 00:06:52,206
I don't see
the point to it.
136
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:54,480
No, you just thought
you wouldn't have to worry about it
137
00:06:54,519 --> 00:06:57,614
and you wouldn't see
him again, so who cares?
138
00:06:57,656 --> 00:07:00,455
- Oh my God.
- What?
139
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:05,398
I'll bet you Mark...
140
00:07:05,434 --> 00:07:07,800
I'll bet you Mark
is the guy who's taking the paper.
141
00:07:07,836 --> 00:07:11,739
No, think about it, seriously.
Think about it.
142
00:07:11,775 --> 00:07:16,008
I can't believe it.
Mark is stealing the paper.
143
00:07:16,048 --> 00:07:18,312
Holy shit!
Don't you see?
144
00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:22,310
How long have we
not been getting it, six days?
145
00:07:22,355 --> 00:07:25,883
He moved back in with her a week ago.
You just said that, right?
146
00:07:25,926 --> 00:07:29,385
Who else would be
doing it? It's him.
147
00:07:29,431 --> 00:07:32,663
- Mark is not stealing our newspaper.
- No?
148
00:07:32,701 --> 00:07:34,795
- That is the most ridiculous...
- I don't think so.
149
00:07:34,838 --> 00:07:36,999
Oh, I think so.
Larry, he's a doctor.
150
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,477
I think he could afford the paper
if he wants to get a paper.
151
00:07:40,511 --> 00:07:42,480
Yeah, but not if he's
upset with somebody
152
00:07:42,514 --> 00:07:45,780
who promised him a gift for Christmas
and never followed through on it.
153
00:07:45,819 --> 00:07:47,514
That is so ridiculous.
154
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,079
It's not ridiculous.
It makes perfect sense.
155
00:07:49,123 --> 00:07:51,455
You know,
because I spoke to...
156
00:07:51,492 --> 00:07:55,088
hey, you know what
we should do?
157
00:07:55,130 --> 00:07:57,395
What?
158
00:07:57,433 --> 00:08:01,564
We should invite
Mac and Ethel.
159
00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:03,938
We should invite them
for Seder, don't you think?
160
00:08:07,413 --> 00:08:09,814
You want to invite
Ethel and Mac?
161
00:08:12,219 --> 00:08:15,155
I had no idea you liked Mac
and Ethel so much.
162
00:08:15,189 --> 00:08:18,421
You don't understand
because you're not Jewish, okay?
163
00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:21,988
But it's a Jewish thing.
It's sort of like a tradition, you know?
164
00:08:22,031 --> 00:08:23,999
Invite the cranky
neighbors who...
165
00:08:24,034 --> 00:08:26,195
Well, if Jews don't have
any place to go for Seder,
166
00:08:26,237 --> 00:08:28,297
you're supposed
to invite them.
167
00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:31,902
Come on. Come on.
Invite 'em.
168
00:08:38,887 --> 00:08:41,014
Hey, Larry.
169
00:08:41,055 --> 00:08:44,514
- Hey. Rick, yeah.
- Hey, Rick.
170
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,893
Hey, let me
give you a hand here.
171
00:08:46,930 --> 00:08:49,092
- Okay. Oh, thank you.
- Yeah. How are ya?
172
00:08:49,133 --> 00:08:51,465
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
173
00:08:51,502 --> 00:08:54,700
I should have taken
one of those carts, you know, but...
174
00:08:54,740 --> 00:08:56,606
- Yeah, I know.
- Look, it's downhill.
175
00:08:56,643 --> 00:08:58,702
I'm worried it'll hit a car
176
00:08:58,745 --> 00:09:01,044
and I'll get in a lawsuit or something.
Who the hell knows?
177
00:09:01,081 --> 00:09:02,981
Hey, what do you
got there?
178
00:09:03,017 --> 00:09:05,316
Oh, my four iron.
179
00:09:05,353 --> 00:09:08,118
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
180
00:09:08,157 --> 00:09:10,558
You play golf?
181
00:09:10,594 --> 00:09:12,789
Yeah, and I eat
and I breathe.
182
00:09:14,365 --> 00:09:16,390
In that order.
183
00:09:16,434 --> 00:09:18,835
- Yeah, me, too. Absolutely, yeah.
- Really?
184
00:09:18,871 --> 00:09:20,498
Wow, wow.
185
00:09:20,539 --> 00:09:23,441
Anyway, I replaced
the four iron with a nine wood.
186
00:09:23,476 --> 00:09:25,411
I can't hit it anymore.
187
00:09:25,446 --> 00:09:29,042
Well, you know what?
I would love to help you.
188
00:09:29,084 --> 00:09:32,521
Oh, come on. Nobody could help me.
People have tried before.
189
00:09:32,555 --> 00:09:35,582
It can't be done.
Can't be done, Rick.
190
00:09:35,626 --> 00:09:37,958
I've been golfing for a long time.
I'm fairly good.
191
00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:40,760
Yeah, in my backyard,
192
00:09:40,799 --> 00:09:44,566
I have this setup that you won't
believe. I've got a net, a tee.
193
00:09:44,604 --> 00:09:46,196
Get the hell out of here!
194
00:09:46,239 --> 00:09:48,105
- And I've got a camera...
- Really? A camera?
195
00:09:48,141 --> 00:09:51,373
And you shoot yourself swinging and then
analyze your swing frame-by-frame.
196
00:09:51,412 --> 00:09:53,881
- What are you doing now?
- Nothing.
197
00:09:53,916 --> 00:09:55,577
- All right, let's go.
- Right now?
198
00:09:55,618 --> 00:09:58,452
- Okay, where's your car?
- I don't have one.
199
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:05,663
- Okay, I'll take you.
- Okay.
200
00:10:05,697 --> 00:10:08,064
You want some Cheetos
for the trip, huh?
201
00:10:08,101 --> 00:10:10,865
Yeah, why not?
Great.
202
00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:14,704
All right, it's gonna be fun.
I love golf.
203
00:10:19,448 --> 00:10:23,442
Ha ha ha. Huh? Oh my God.
Did you see the whole thing?
204
00:10:23,487 --> 00:10:26,048
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
205
00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:29,150
Come here. Come here. Look at this.
Watch it in slow motion, okay?
206
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:31,321
Look at that.
207
00:10:31,363 --> 00:10:33,332
See, you're bringing
your hips through.
208
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:35,425
It doesn't even look...
who is that?
209
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,869
- Is that me? It doesn't look like me.
- It's you.
210
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:41,034
Look, look, I wanna freeze it
right here. Wait, right there.
211
00:10:41,076 --> 00:10:44,604
- Look at your hips right here.
- Yeah, no, I see. Perfect.
212
00:10:44,647 --> 00:10:46,615
I can't believe it.
213
00:10:46,649 --> 00:10:49,278
A plus. My best
student of the day.
214
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,415
Good work. Okay.
215
00:10:52,457 --> 00:10:55,586
- All right. Great.
- Unreal.
216
00:10:55,628 --> 00:10:57,961
Listen, anytime,
anytime.
217
00:10:57,998 --> 00:10:59,693
I'm completely spent.
218
00:10:59,733 --> 00:11:02,202
- It's my pleasure.
- Fantastic.
219
00:11:02,236 --> 00:11:04,101
That was great.
That was just great.
220
00:11:04,138 --> 00:11:07,074
- Yeah, yeah.
- Could not have been better.
221
00:11:07,109 --> 00:11:08,907
What are you doing
for Passover?
222
00:11:08,945 --> 00:11:12,177
Just having
some people over.
223
00:11:12,216 --> 00:11:14,207
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, what are you doing?
224
00:11:14,251 --> 00:11:18,245
Nothing, nothing.
Totally free.
225
00:11:29,003 --> 00:11:31,165
You want to come
to my house?
226
00:11:31,207 --> 00:11:34,006
No, really? Oh!
227
00:11:34,044 --> 00:11:36,512
- All right.
- Okay, okay.
228
00:11:36,546 --> 00:11:39,038
- Great, great.
- You don't have to.
229
00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:41,279
No, that sounds great.
I got nothing else to do.
230
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,720
- You sure?
- Yeah, of course, thank you.
231
00:11:43,756 --> 00:11:45,987
Yeah, I'll bring latkes.
232
00:11:47,861 --> 00:11:50,558
- Okay.
- Great, great.
233
00:11:50,598 --> 00:11:52,590
I'll see you then.
I'm gonna hit a few.
234
00:11:52,634 --> 00:11:54,397
Uh...
235
00:12:00,377 --> 00:12:02,369
What took you so long?
Where were you?
236
00:12:02,414 --> 00:12:04,382
Well, I met sort of
a new friend.
237
00:12:04,416 --> 00:12:06,385
He's kind of new
in town.
238
00:12:06,419 --> 00:12:09,149
And we got to talking.
239
00:12:09,188 --> 00:12:12,681
Golf nut, okay?
Took me to his backyard.
240
00:12:12,726 --> 00:12:15,958
He's got a net. What a setup this guy...
my life is changed.
241
00:12:15,997 --> 00:12:18,432
Today, changed,
irrevocably.
242
00:12:18,467 --> 00:12:23,098
And you just started
talking to a stranger?
243
00:12:23,139 --> 00:12:27,601
Yeah, kind of, well, you know, he knew
me from "Seinfeld."
244
00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:29,978
You know, he's...
245
00:12:30,015 --> 00:12:32,484
- Fan?
- Yeah, kind of.
246
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:34,487
And gonna be alone
on Passover,
247
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:38,458
and I kind of invited
him to the Seder.
248
00:12:38,493 --> 00:12:40,461
I hope you don't mind.
249
00:12:40,495 --> 00:12:43,158
- You did?
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
250
00:12:43,199 --> 00:12:45,566
- No, that's okay.
- Really?
251
00:12:45,602 --> 00:12:48,628
- Well, if he's alone.
- Aren't you a doll?
252
00:12:48,672 --> 00:12:50,903
Well, that's cute.
I'm glad you made a new friend.
253
00:12:50,942 --> 00:12:52,934
- Yeah, okay, yeah.
- That's nice.
254
00:12:52,978 --> 00:12:55,139
I don't hear that
very often from you.
255
00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:57,445
Oh, and I forgot
to mention
256
00:12:57,484 --> 00:13:00,010
it's that sex offender.
257
00:13:00,054 --> 00:13:02,022
What?
258
00:13:02,056 --> 00:13:04,855
You know, we saw that
picture on the flyer
259
00:13:04,893 --> 00:13:07,624
of that sex offender guy.
That's him.
260
00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:09,187
He's cool.
261
00:13:09,232 --> 00:13:12,293
You invited a sex offender
over for Seder?
262
00:13:12,336 --> 00:13:14,237
Are you out
of your mind?
263
00:13:14,272 --> 00:13:17,640
- It was an awkward moment.
- What is wrong with you, Larry?
264
00:13:17,676 --> 00:13:19,644
You don't do something
like that without asking me!
265
00:13:19,678 --> 00:13:21,772
You do not invite
a sex offender over for dinner
266
00:13:21,815 --> 00:13:23,942
without talking
to me first!
267
00:13:23,984 --> 00:13:26,476
We're not having
a sex offender over for dinner, no!
268
00:13:26,521 --> 00:13:30,583
- Call him and say no.
- Cheryl, what would Jesus do?
269
00:13:30,626 --> 00:13:32,458
- Oh.
- Huh?
270
00:13:32,495 --> 00:13:34,395
- Cheryl, Cheryl.
- No, no!
271
00:13:34,430 --> 00:13:38,128
Cheryl, he's a Jew.
He's a Jew!
272
00:13:52,687 --> 00:13:55,748
This is a fact.
This is like numbers, okay?
273
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,987
Have you heard
of the theory, the 77?
274
00:13:58,028 --> 00:13:59,620
No.
275
00:13:59,663 --> 00:14:02,497
Okay, every 77 years
there's a great president.
276
00:14:02,533 --> 00:14:05,833
Washington and then
you go 77 years, Lincoln.
277
00:14:05,871 --> 00:14:09,467
77 years there's...
what's that guy's name?
278
00:14:09,509 --> 00:14:11,444
- Theodore Roosevelt?
- F.D.R.
279
00:14:11,478 --> 00:14:13,878
And then another
77 years, you got W.
280
00:14:13,914 --> 00:14:17,282
- Really?
- I think we're in historic times.
281
00:14:17,319 --> 00:14:19,584
- Washington, Lincoln, F.D.R.
- And W.
282
00:14:19,622 --> 00:14:22,091
- And George W. Bush.
- That's right.
283
00:14:22,125 --> 00:14:24,525
And we're turning
the whole damn world around.
284
00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:26,291
Jake, did you remember
to call your mother?
285
00:14:26,331 --> 00:14:27,389
What?
286
00:14:27,432 --> 00:14:29,799
Did you remember
to call your mother?
287
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:32,805
I told my mother I would call her
after the Seder.
288
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:34,534
- You said "before."
- After the Seder.
289
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,600
- Hey.
- Hey, Larry.
290
00:14:36,644 --> 00:14:39,876
- How's it going? How's the doctor?
- Doing well, doing well.
291
00:14:39,915 --> 00:14:43,750
- Doing well, busy. Real busy.
- Oh, yeah.
292
00:14:43,786 --> 00:14:46,813
You know, things are booming
right now, you know?
293
00:14:46,857 --> 00:14:48,916
Nice to see you
and Marla back together.
294
00:14:48,959 --> 00:14:50,689
She's great.
She's great.
295
00:14:50,729 --> 00:14:52,196
Yeah, what happened?
296
00:14:52,230 --> 00:14:54,927
You couldn't cut it in
your single life there?
297
00:14:54,967 --> 00:14:57,528
Couldn't get any dates,
so you went back?
298
00:14:57,571 --> 00:15:00,540
That's funny.
Part of the perk of being a doctor.
299
00:15:00,574 --> 00:15:01,974
It's not hard
to get dates.
300
00:15:02,010 --> 00:15:04,035
Get to see a lot
of women naked?
301
00:15:04,078 --> 00:15:07,071
- Cosmetic surgeon. Seen my fair share.
- Really?
302
00:15:07,116 --> 00:15:08,550
You ever get aroused?
303
00:15:08,585 --> 00:15:10,610
I don't think that's
really an appropriate question.
304
00:15:10,654 --> 00:15:13,317
- Really, why not?
- Well, you know, it's just...
305
00:15:13,357 --> 00:15:15,325
it's sort of
a personal thing.
306
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,351
I don't want to discuss
something like that.
307
00:15:17,396 --> 00:15:19,695
The answer of course is no.
I'm a professional.
308
00:15:19,732 --> 00:15:21,700
People come to me for help.
I help them.
309
00:15:21,734 --> 00:15:26,069
I understand. Tell me if you think this
is an appropriate question.
310
00:15:26,107 --> 00:15:29,599
And I mean
no disrespect.
311
00:15:29,644 --> 00:15:32,045
Have you been stealing
my newspaper?
312
00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:36,448
Larry...
313
00:15:36,486 --> 00:15:38,478
yes, that is
an inappropriate question.
314
00:15:38,523 --> 00:15:40,754
Okay, so that's
two inappropriate questions.
315
00:15:40,793 --> 00:15:43,991
I have not been stealing
your newspaper, Larry. That's appalling.
316
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,362
- Really?
- Yeah, really, Larry.
317
00:15:46,399 --> 00:15:48,368
I'm quite sure
I haven't been taking it.
318
00:15:48,402 --> 00:15:51,566
Are you positive,
Mark?
319
00:16:09,162 --> 00:16:11,153
Okay.
320
00:16:11,198 --> 00:16:12,996
Now if you'll excuse me.
321
00:16:17,072 --> 00:16:19,632
So what did you think
of my brother-in-law?
322
00:16:19,675 --> 00:16:22,042
- Whoa.
- Uh-huh.
323
00:16:22,078 --> 00:16:25,344
- Man. Wow.
- Big time. Wow.
324
00:16:25,382 --> 00:16:27,112
What?
325
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:29,552
- Your sister's husband.
- Man, oh, man.
326
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:33,081
- He's nauseating.
- He's quite a piece of work that guy.
327
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:35,527
Who else is coming?
328
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:39,294
Oh, there's
somebody right now.
329
00:16:45,075 --> 00:16:48,637
- Hey, there he is.
- Somebody order latkes?
330
00:16:48,679 --> 00:16:51,204
Look at this.
Boy, oh, boy.
331
00:16:51,249 --> 00:16:53,218
- Yeah, how are ya?
- Great, how you doing?
332
00:16:53,252 --> 00:16:55,220
- Very good.
- Good to see you.
333
00:16:55,254 --> 00:16:58,383
- Yeah, this is nice.
- Oh, yeah?
334
00:17:01,262 --> 00:17:03,231
Let me introduce you
to some of my friends here.
335
00:17:03,265 --> 00:17:06,531
- The guests.
- Great.
336
00:17:06,569 --> 00:17:08,366
Hi.
337
00:17:08,404 --> 00:17:11,704
- This is Marla.
- Hi, Marla, nice to meet you. Rick.
338
00:17:11,742 --> 00:17:13,711
And this is
my wife Cheryl.
339
00:17:13,745 --> 00:17:16,441
It's lovely to meet you.
You have a wonderful home.
340
00:17:16,481 --> 00:17:18,746
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
341
00:17:18,784 --> 00:17:21,618
- I made latkes. Yeah.
- Latkes.
342
00:17:21,655 --> 00:17:25,057
- From my mother's recipe.
- They smell good.
343
00:17:25,092 --> 00:17:28,324
Hey, this guy completely
changed my life.
344
00:17:28,363 --> 00:17:30,331
I'm telling you.
I can't believe the way
345
00:17:30,365 --> 00:17:32,334
I hit the ball now
on account of him.
346
00:17:32,368 --> 00:17:36,135
Yeah, just wait till I'm done with him.
Different man altogether.
347
00:17:36,173 --> 00:17:37,663
I can't wait.
348
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:40,872
- Nice to meet you.
- Thank you.
349
00:17:40,912 --> 00:17:44,644
Come on over here.
This here is Jeff.
350
00:17:44,684 --> 00:17:46,653
- You are?
- This is Rick Leftowitz.
351
00:17:46,687 --> 00:17:48,655
- Nice meeting you, Rick.
- Nice meeting you.
352
00:17:48,689 --> 00:17:52,421
- This is Susie. His wife Susie.
- Hi.
353
00:17:52,460 --> 00:17:56,227
- And that's Sammy.
- Somebody drop a cute bomb in here?
354
00:17:58,501 --> 00:18:00,493
Oh, hey,
and this is my dad.
355
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:02,768
It is an honor
to meet you, sir.
356
00:18:02,807 --> 00:18:04,776
Nice to meet you.
357
00:18:04,810 --> 00:18:06,971
- This is Carol.
- Hi, Carol.
358
00:18:07,012 --> 00:18:08,981
- Very nice to meet you.
- Rick. Nice to meet you.
359
00:18:09,015 --> 00:18:11,610
- This is Emily and Jacob.
- Can I talk to you a second?
360
00:18:11,652 --> 00:18:14,213
Sure, yeah.
Excuse me for one second.
361
00:18:17,626 --> 00:18:19,595
What the hell are you
trying to pull, Larry?
362
00:18:19,629 --> 00:18:21,598
- What?
- You know who that guy is?
363
00:18:21,632 --> 00:18:24,465
- He had nowhere to go.
- I don't give a shit where he goes.
364
00:18:24,501 --> 00:18:26,993
I think it's gonna
be a big addition to this Passover.
365
00:18:27,038 --> 00:18:29,007
- In what way?
- He's got a good personality.
366
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,508
He's smart.
He's funny.
367
00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:33,740
He should not be
in our presence on a holy day.
368
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,648
Any day.
What the hell are you doing?
369
00:18:42,724 --> 00:18:45,785
- Larry.
- Hello, hello.
370
00:18:45,828 --> 00:18:47,888
- How are you?
- Pretty good.
371
00:18:47,932 --> 00:18:50,925
- Good to see you. I'm glad you came.
- So are we.
372
00:18:50,969 --> 00:18:52,266
Thank you.
373
00:18:52,304 --> 00:18:54,603
Everybody parked
in front of my house. Everybody here,
374
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,576
- except the kids.
- Yeah, so what?
375
00:18:57,611 --> 00:19:00,409
- So what?
- Are you going out tonight?
376
00:19:00,447 --> 00:19:03,246
I think you're here, aren't you?
So what's the problem?
377
00:19:03,284 --> 00:19:06,379
Everybody's got the car
parked in front of my... same thing,
378
00:19:06,422 --> 00:19:08,186
- every time you have a party...
- I'm sorry.
379
00:19:08,224 --> 00:19:10,215
- I'll inform them next time.
- Please.
380
00:19:10,260 --> 00:19:12,058
Ethel, hi, how are you?
381
00:19:12,096 --> 00:19:14,462
It was so nice
of you to invite us.
382
00:19:14,498 --> 00:19:16,763
My pleasure.
Ethel, what I want you to do is
383
00:19:16,802 --> 00:19:20,671
I want you to take
a look around this room here, okay,
384
00:19:20,707 --> 00:19:24,337
and just see if there's anybody
who you recognize.
385
00:19:24,378 --> 00:19:26,347
- Okay?
- Sure.
386
00:19:26,381 --> 00:19:28,349
- All right, would you do that for me?
- Sure.
387
00:19:28,383 --> 00:19:30,909
Take a look around.
388
00:19:43,636 --> 00:19:46,161
Okay, gently.
Gently, guys.
389
00:19:46,206 --> 00:19:48,767
Let's put her here
on the bed.
390
00:19:48,809 --> 00:19:53,008
Okay, let me
just check her.
391
00:19:53,048 --> 00:19:55,882
I think I hurt my back
lifting her up.
392
00:19:55,918 --> 00:19:58,080
Her pulse is okay.
She's breathing fine.
393
00:19:58,122 --> 00:20:01,854
- Does this happen often?
- Well, yeah, every once in awhile
394
00:20:01,893 --> 00:20:05,021
- something startles her.
- How long is she going to be out?
395
00:20:05,063 --> 00:20:06,861
A couple of hours.
396
00:20:06,899 --> 00:20:09,630
A couple of hours?!
What, are you kidding?
397
00:20:09,669 --> 00:20:12,160
Just a... you know,
she'll sleep it off,
398
00:20:12,205 --> 00:20:13,935
then she'll be fine.
399
00:20:40,842 --> 00:20:43,471
Everybody have a nice big
swig of wine.
400
00:20:47,284 --> 00:20:49,276
Hey, guess what.
401
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,515
Okay, get ready, kids.
402
00:20:52,758 --> 00:20:55,158
You know what's in here?
Matzah.
403
00:20:55,195 --> 00:20:58,221
And I'm gonna hide this,
and you've got to go find it.
404
00:20:58,264 --> 00:21:01,166
And whoever finds the Matzah
is gonna get a dollar.
405
00:21:01,202 --> 00:21:03,364
Okay, a dollar!
406
00:21:03,405 --> 00:21:06,569
All right, now go into the kitchen.
Go in the kitchen.
407
00:21:07,710 --> 00:21:09,371
Close your eyes.
Don't look.
408
00:21:09,412 --> 00:21:12,405
Cover your ears.
Okay, I'm gonna hide it now.
409
00:21:12,449 --> 00:21:14,247
Don't look!
410
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:40,548
Okay, kids, you can come
look for the Matzah now.
411
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,542
- So, Larry.
- Yeah?
412
00:22:04,583 --> 00:22:08,042
Any luck in finding
the guy that...
413
00:22:08,087 --> 00:22:10,716
- has been stealing your newspaper?
- No.
414
00:22:10,758 --> 00:22:13,488
No luck at all.
415
00:22:13,527 --> 00:22:16,292
For those of you who don't know,
I'm sure you don't,
416
00:22:16,331 --> 00:22:19,096
somebody's been stealing
my newspaper
417
00:22:19,135 --> 00:22:21,969
for an entire week...
yes, every day.
418
00:22:22,005 --> 00:22:25,066
I tell you something, my wife, she got a
good look at him.
419
00:22:25,109 --> 00:22:28,044
I mean, a really good look.
420
00:22:28,079 --> 00:22:31,277
If she ever sees him again,
she'll recognize him.
421
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:33,411
- Really?
- She'll know that face.
422
00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:35,649
She never
forgets a face.
423
00:22:38,025 --> 00:22:39,857
Is something wrong, doctor?
424
00:22:39,895 --> 00:22:43,832
Excuse me, uh, no.
Just some gefilte fish.
425
00:22:43,866 --> 00:22:47,803
Well, hopefully,
she'll wake up soon
426
00:22:47,838 --> 00:22:50,637
and come down and join us
for the rest of the Seder.
427
00:22:50,675 --> 00:22:53,304
- Wouldn't that be nice, everybody?
- Yes, yes.
428
00:22:53,346 --> 00:22:55,576
That would be wonderful,
wonderful!
429
00:23:08,131 --> 00:23:10,691
Hey, there's no Matzah here.
Let's go, beat it.
430
00:23:10,734 --> 00:23:12,362
Come on, pfft,
beat it.
431
00:23:47,815 --> 00:23:50,717
Well, I've...
just seen Ethel.
432
00:23:50,752 --> 00:23:54,189
She's coming around.
She should be down soon.
433
00:23:54,223 --> 00:23:56,088
That's nice.
That's nice.
434
00:23:56,125 --> 00:23:59,323
Huh? Isn't that good news?
435
00:23:59,363 --> 00:24:02,663
What is all the...
all that sound, that noise,
436
00:24:02,701 --> 00:24:04,669
the racket we all
heard upstairs?
437
00:24:04,703 --> 00:24:07,434
Oh, my foot fell asleep
so I was kind of jumping up and down
438
00:24:07,473 --> 00:24:09,840
to get the blood
circulating again.
439
00:24:09,876 --> 00:24:11,503
I hate when
that happens, right?
440
00:24:15,718 --> 00:24:17,618
Something wrong, doctor?
441
00:24:17,653 --> 00:24:19,918
For Pete's sake, I've...
442
00:24:19,956 --> 00:24:22,858
I've been paged by the hospital.
It must be an emergency.
443
00:24:22,893 --> 00:24:26,386
Oh my gosh!
Oh, it's a doctor emergency.
444
00:24:26,431 --> 00:24:29,594
- I'm so sorry.
- I didn't hear anything, doctor.
445
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:31,569
- I keep my pager on vibrate...
- Oh, do you?
446
00:24:31,604 --> 00:24:33,573
...for medical emergencies, yes.
- Uh-huh.
447
00:24:33,607 --> 00:24:36,838
- Thank you so much for having me.
- It was great to meet you.
448
00:24:36,877 --> 00:24:39,073
Aren't you
a cosmetic surgeon?
449
00:24:39,114 --> 00:24:42,414
Yes, we have emergencies
in that field as well.
450
00:24:42,451 --> 00:24:44,647
You know, it's too bad.
Ethel's coming down soon.
451
00:24:44,688 --> 00:24:46,849
She'll be upset that
she didn't get to meet you.
452
00:24:46,890 --> 00:24:49,189
I'll meet her
another time, I'm sure.
453
00:24:49,227 --> 00:24:51,287
Thank you.
Marla, I'm sorry. I'll see you at home.
454
00:24:51,330 --> 00:24:53,161
- I'll see you at home.
- Thank you, everyone.
455
00:24:53,198 --> 00:24:55,167
- Love you.
- Found it!
456
00:24:58,338 --> 00:25:00,739
- Stevie!
- He found the Matzah!
457
00:25:00,775 --> 00:25:02,710
In a hurry, doctor?
458
00:25:02,744 --> 00:25:04,974
As I explained, I've been
paged by my hospital.
459
00:25:05,013 --> 00:25:07,209
Yes, I know.
Emergency boob job, no doubt.
460
00:25:07,250 --> 00:25:09,742
I've been paged for
a medical emergency
461
00:25:09,787 --> 00:25:11,812
- because I am a doctor.
- Yes yes yes.
462
00:25:11,855 --> 00:25:14,416
You're a doctor.
Yes yes, of course, you're a doctor.
463
00:25:14,459 --> 00:25:17,896
- It's a medical situation.
- You're lucky that old lady fainted.
464
00:25:17,930 --> 00:25:20,092
I don't... I don't know
what you're talking about.
465
00:25:20,133 --> 00:25:22,829
You took that paper.
I know you did.
466
00:25:22,869 --> 00:25:25,202
I'm a doctor, you idiot!
467
00:25:27,242 --> 00:25:29,233
Good yontif.
468
00:25:30,379 --> 00:25:32,439
- Larry?
- Hey, buddy, what's up?
469
00:25:32,482 --> 00:25:34,417
Can I talk to you
for a second?
470
00:25:34,452 --> 00:25:36,511
- Sure, what's up?
- Um...
471
00:25:36,554 --> 00:25:38,455
This is really hard.
I, uh...
472
00:25:38,490 --> 00:25:43,360
I'm... in the throes
of a moral quandary right now,
473
00:25:43,396 --> 00:25:45,888
- and I don't know what to do.
- Okay, um...
474
00:25:45,933 --> 00:25:48,163
I'm not really the right...
I'm not a good person to confide in.
475
00:25:48,202 --> 00:25:51,331
Oh, I think you are.
You're the perfect person.
476
00:25:51,372 --> 00:25:53,705
What you need to see is a doctor
or a psychiatrist,
477
00:25:53,742 --> 00:25:55,938
- a counselor of some kind.
- A doctor, no no no.
478
00:25:55,979 --> 00:25:58,914
I'm... I'm... I'm clear
on what I'm torn about:
479
00:25:58,949 --> 00:26:00,815
My allegiance to you
as a friend,
480
00:26:00,852 --> 00:26:04,050
and not wanting
to ruin the party.
481
00:26:04,089 --> 00:26:06,820
Uh, but I saw something
very shocking,
482
00:26:06,860 --> 00:26:08,725
and I feel like
I have to tell you.
483
00:26:08,761 --> 00:26:10,662
What... what's going on?
484
00:26:11,665 --> 00:26:13,861
Well, I saw Mr. Dunkle
485
00:26:13,902 --> 00:26:16,268
whisper in his son's ear.
486
00:26:16,304 --> 00:26:19,274
And then the boy went right
over and found the Matzah.
487
00:26:21,845 --> 00:26:23,870
Oh my God.
488
00:26:23,914 --> 00:26:27,852
Yeah, because he
saw me hiding it.
489
00:26:27,887 --> 00:26:29,752
We made eye contact.
He saw it.
490
00:26:29,788 --> 00:26:32,986
Well, there you go.
Sorry.
491
00:26:33,026 --> 00:26:35,291
Yeah, okay.
492
00:26:35,329 --> 00:26:38,526
- I'll take it from here.
- Okay.
493
00:26:53,052 --> 00:26:54,952
When am I gonna get
my dollar?
494
00:26:54,987 --> 00:26:58,014
Oh yeah, your dollar.
495
00:26:58,058 --> 00:27:01,222
That's right. Let me ask you
a question, Stevie.
496
00:27:01,262 --> 00:27:04,061
I notice that you went
to the bookcase once.
497
00:27:04,099 --> 00:27:07,866
What made you go
back there a second time?
498
00:27:07,904 --> 00:27:10,338
Hey, look look,
he found the Matzah, pay up.
499
00:27:10,373 --> 00:27:13,138
I'm just trying to find out why he went
back to the bookcase.
500
00:27:13,177 --> 00:27:16,079
There's no need for the third degree.
Just pay him the dollar.
501
00:27:16,114 --> 00:27:18,447
- How come you went back, Stevie?
- Stop it!
502
00:27:18,484 --> 00:27:21,282
He found the Matzah,
pay up. That's that!
503
00:27:21,321 --> 00:27:23,187
- He found the Matzah?
- Yeah!
504
00:27:23,223 --> 00:27:25,488
'Cause you told him
where it was hidden.
505
00:27:25,527 --> 00:27:28,052
- That is a lie!
- Didn't you? Didn't you?
506
00:27:28,096 --> 00:27:30,463
That is a lie!
You don't know anything.
507
00:27:30,499 --> 00:27:32,434
- How would you know that?
- How do I know?
508
00:27:32,469 --> 00:27:34,460
How would you know?
509
00:27:36,874 --> 00:27:39,673
My friend told me,
that's how I know!
510
00:27:39,712 --> 00:27:41,805
He saw you whisper in
your son's ear
511
00:27:41,847 --> 00:27:43,941
then watched
as he ran to the bookcase
512
00:27:43,984 --> 00:27:45,383
and got the Matzah.
513
00:27:45,418 --> 00:27:47,853
Oh, your friend the convicted
sex offender!
514
00:27:57,935 --> 00:28:00,768
Oh my God! Oh my God, there's
something wrong with Sammy.
515
00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:02,568
Sammy, Sammy, get up.
516
00:28:02,607 --> 00:28:04,735
Come on, come on.
What's the matter, honey?
517
00:28:04,777 --> 00:28:06,540
She can't breathe.
She can't breathe.
518
00:28:06,579 --> 00:28:08,775
- Does anyone know mouth-to-mouth?
- Oh my God!
519
00:28:10,217 --> 00:28:12,118
I do.
40422
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