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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,275 --> 00:00:23,902 How do those feel to you? 2 00:00:23,944 --> 00:00:25,969 Well, they feel pretty good. 3 00:00:26,012 --> 00:00:27,877 I kinda like these orthotics. 4 00:00:27,914 --> 00:00:31,178 Yeah, they're really going to help. 5 00:00:32,451 --> 00:00:35,147 Boy, they sure make a lot of noise. 6 00:00:35,187 --> 00:00:37,655 They take a while to work in. 7 00:00:49,534 --> 00:00:51,161 Ah, Jes�s! 8 00:00:53,503 --> 00:00:55,266 How are you? 9 00:00:56,540 --> 00:00:58,303 - Everything okay? - Si. 10 00:00:58,342 --> 00:01:01,277 Yeah? You seem a little down. 11 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,336 - No, l-I okay. - You okay? 12 00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:05,506 - Si. - Can you do me a favor? 13 00:01:05,548 --> 00:01:07,573 Small favor, okay? 14 00:01:07,616 --> 00:01:10,244 Small favor... it's hardly even a favor. 15 00:01:10,286 --> 00:01:12,277 You work here, actually, so it's part of your job. 16 00:01:12,321 --> 00:01:14,016 Either way, it's still a favor. Okay. 17 00:01:14,056 --> 00:01:17,582 So I got, uh... see this thing? 18 00:01:17,625 --> 00:01:19,252 It's a Mezuzah. 19 00:01:19,294 --> 00:01:22,058 Got that? And I need you 20 00:01:22,097 --> 00:01:25,191 to put it over the door here. 21 00:01:25,233 --> 00:01:27,360 This is like a Jewish thing. 22 00:01:27,402 --> 00:01:29,631 You know, we put it over the door 23 00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:32,969 so every anti-Semite in the neighborhood will know that we live here 24 00:01:33,007 --> 00:01:34,941 in case they wanna burn down the house. 25 00:01:34,975 --> 00:01:37,910 Anyway, you just need a nail. Get a nail, hammer and a nail, 26 00:01:37,945 --> 00:01:40,174 - put it up. - Si, Mezuzah. 27 00:01:40,213 --> 00:01:42,909 Yeah, Mezuzah. I don't... I don't know what it does, really. 28 00:01:42,949 --> 00:01:45,474 But anyway, because my father's coming to visit, 29 00:01:45,518 --> 00:01:47,782 he'll be upset if he doesn't see it up there. 30 00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:50,288 He's a little hard-of-hearing, so when you talk to him, 31 00:01:50,323 --> 00:01:52,347 talk loud. He's losing his hearing. 32 00:01:52,391 --> 00:01:54,086 - Okay? - Okay. 33 00:01:54,126 --> 00:01:55,684 So you just speak up a little bit... 34 00:01:55,727 --> 00:01:57,194 "Hello, hello?" 35 00:01:57,229 --> 00:01:58,719 - You know. - "Hello? 36 00:01:58,764 --> 00:02:01,631 - Hello?" - Yeah, "How do you feel, Mr. David?" 37 00:02:03,335 --> 00:02:05,495 "How do you feel, Mr. David?" 38 00:02:05,536 --> 00:02:07,697 That's good. That's good, Jes�s. 39 00:02:07,738 --> 00:02:11,230 By the way, Jes�s... Jesus... either one? 40 00:02:11,275 --> 00:02:13,641 Either one, si. It's okay. 41 00:02:13,677 --> 00:02:15,645 - Same thing. - Si. 42 00:02:15,679 --> 00:02:17,578 Okay, okay. 43 00:02:17,614 --> 00:02:19,844 - I do Mezuzah. - Okay, great. 44 00:02:19,883 --> 00:02:23,444 What ha... what happened to your leg? 45 00:02:23,486 --> 00:02:26,717 It hurts on the bottom of my feet. 46 00:02:26,756 --> 00:02:28,689 I have the exact same thing! 47 00:02:28,724 --> 00:02:31,158 Do you want your life changed, Jesus? 48 00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:33,161 Huh? Okay. 49 00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:35,561 See this? It's called an orthotic. 50 00:02:35,597 --> 00:02:37,531 Just put 'em in the bottom of your shoe, 51 00:02:37,566 --> 00:02:39,693 and that's it. 52 00:02:39,735 --> 00:02:41,463 No no no, I do the Mezuzah... 53 00:02:41,502 --> 00:02:43,595 Huh? 54 00:02:43,638 --> 00:02:45,265 - Try them on! - Tell them, Maria. 55 00:02:45,306 --> 00:02:47,467 Honey, what could it hurt? 56 00:02:47,508 --> 00:02:49,066 It make you feel better. 57 00:02:49,110 --> 00:02:51,601 - Okay. - All right, okay, there you go. 58 00:02:51,646 --> 00:02:54,978 - Okay. - It's a good idea. Gracias, Mr. Larry. 59 00:02:55,015 --> 00:02:57,745 - De nada. - Thank you. 60 00:02:57,784 --> 00:03:02,278 De nada. #De nada. # 61 00:03:06,225 --> 00:03:08,557 - What is that noise? - I don't know. 62 00:03:08,594 --> 00:03:10,357 - Hey. - Is that you? 63 00:03:10,396 --> 00:03:12,921 - What? - What's that noise? 64 00:03:12,965 --> 00:03:14,489 Oh, the orthotics. 65 00:03:14,533 --> 00:03:16,124 - Ugh... - What? 66 00:03:16,167 --> 00:03:18,032 - It's loud! - Well, you gotta break 'em in. 67 00:03:18,069 --> 00:03:19,798 It takes a little time. 68 00:03:19,838 --> 00:03:21,669 They're really loud. 69 00:03:21,706 --> 00:03:24,004 Well, they're very good for my feet, I could tell you that. 70 00:03:24,042 --> 00:03:26,510 - My feet feel a lot better. - That's good. 71 00:03:26,544 --> 00:03:28,636 Let me ask you something: 72 00:03:28,679 --> 00:03:30,738 Why is it that before you have a meal, 73 00:03:30,781 --> 00:03:33,807 you do the whole cross thing, but not for a snack. 74 00:03:33,851 --> 00:03:36,342 I don't think it applies to snacks. 75 00:03:36,386 --> 00:03:39,219 I guess, otherwise you'd be crossing all day long. 76 00:03:39,256 --> 00:03:41,155 There's gotta be a maximum number 77 00:03:41,190 --> 00:03:43,283 of times somebody can cross in a day. 78 00:03:43,326 --> 00:03:45,658 Uh, I wonder what the record is. 79 00:03:45,695 --> 00:03:47,822 Have you ever seen any crossing on a snack, ever? 80 00:03:47,864 --> 00:03:49,661 - I don't think so. - Excuse me. 81 00:03:49,699 --> 00:03:52,496 I'm gonna be on the lookout for people who cross before snacking. 82 00:03:52,534 --> 00:03:54,161 What's that? 83 00:03:54,202 --> 00:03:55,669 - This? - Yeah. 84 00:03:55,704 --> 00:03:57,399 This is a nail. 85 00:03:57,439 --> 00:03:59,236 I bought this on the internet. 86 00:03:59,274 --> 00:04:01,105 It's from "The Passion of the Christ." 87 00:04:01,143 --> 00:04:03,543 What, are you kidding? 88 00:04:03,578 --> 00:04:05,238 No. 89 00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:08,271 - Kind of interesting... - You got one of those Christ nails 90 00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:09,976 - from the movie? - Mm-hmm, yep. 91 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:11,848 Have you seen it? 92 00:04:11,886 --> 00:04:13,649 I didn't see it. 93 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,916 - All right, you must... - Missed "Passion of the Christ." 94 00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:17,718 - We have it on DVD. - Wish I could have gone. 95 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,224 They have all kinds of things in the internet 96 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,726 for "The Passion of the Christ." 97 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,523 You're nuts about this Jesus guy, aren't you? 98 00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:24,462 Yeah, I have a personal relationship with Christ. 99 00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:25,964 - Really? - Yeah. 100 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,364 I can see worshipping Jesus if he were a girl. 101 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,665 Like if God had a daughter... Jane. I'll worship a Jane. 102 00:04:31,703 --> 00:04:34,103 - No. - But, you know, to worship a guy... 103 00:04:34,139 --> 00:04:35,868 it's like a little kinda, you know, 104 00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:37,398 it's a little gay, isn't it? 105 00:04:37,442 --> 00:04:38,932 - Okay. - The Son of God! 106 00:04:38,977 --> 00:04:40,841 - What's the matter with you? - No, I'm just saying. 107 00:04:40,878 --> 00:04:42,971 A girl... I would worship Jane... 108 00:04:43,014 --> 00:04:44,504 if he had a daughter Jane, 109 00:04:44,549 --> 00:04:46,107 I could have a relationship with a Jane. 110 00:04:46,150 --> 00:04:48,175 - He didn't have a daughter! - It's a shame it wasn't a girl. 111 00:04:48,219 --> 00:04:49,914 That's all I have to say. 112 00:04:49,954 --> 00:04:52,717 - Good-Iooking woman, zaftig, you know? - Okay. 113 00:04:52,756 --> 00:04:54,951 - Good sense of humor. - No no no. 114 00:04:54,991 --> 00:04:57,459 - We got it. - If he had a daughter, everybody... 115 00:04:57,494 --> 00:04:59,621 - everybody would worship Jane. - Stop it. 116 00:04:59,663 --> 00:05:01,324 That's all I'm saying. 117 00:05:24,986 --> 00:05:27,545 - Larry? - What? 118 00:05:28,655 --> 00:05:30,316 What are you doing? 119 00:05:30,357 --> 00:05:32,484 - What-what are you doing? - What? Nothing. 120 00:05:32,526 --> 00:05:35,859 I was... your bra was kind of... it was about to fall off 121 00:05:35,896 --> 00:05:37,625 and I was... I was putting it back on. 122 00:05:37,664 --> 00:05:39,256 All right, and... 123 00:05:39,299 --> 00:05:42,131 I felt like you were looking at... 124 00:05:42,168 --> 00:05:44,500 my size. 125 00:05:45,671 --> 00:05:47,605 Oh, um... 126 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,130 l... 127 00:05:49,175 --> 00:05:50,938 well... 128 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,775 I didn't deliberately set out to look at the size, 129 00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,610 but I was... I had the bra in my hand, 130 00:05:56,648 --> 00:06:00,140 and it's kind of like, you know, if you have a driver's license 131 00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:02,779 you check out the date of birth. That's all. 132 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,617 - Okay. - I checked it out. 133 00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:07,021 And what'd you think? 134 00:06:07,057 --> 00:06:08,820 Yeah... 135 00:06:08,859 --> 00:06:10,588 okay, it was good. 136 00:06:10,628 --> 00:06:13,062 Um... 137 00:06:13,097 --> 00:06:15,122 well, while we're on the subject, 138 00:06:15,165 --> 00:06:19,328 uh, I think we're gonna have to let Maria go. 139 00:06:19,369 --> 00:06:21,360 - I cannot... - Really? 140 00:06:21,404 --> 00:06:25,670 Stand to watch her clean room to room 141 00:06:25,708 --> 00:06:27,504 without a bra. It's very distracting. 142 00:06:27,542 --> 00:06:29,442 I know, but that's a big move. 143 00:06:29,478 --> 00:06:31,537 You know, why don't you just tell her to put a bra on? 144 00:06:31,580 --> 00:06:33,707 I'm not gonna have that conversation with someone. 145 00:06:33,749 --> 00:06:35,512 I would rather just get rid of her. 146 00:06:35,550 --> 00:06:37,279 - We'll find somebody else. - Really? 147 00:06:37,319 --> 00:06:40,287 First of all, she makes the best chicken salad. 148 00:06:40,321 --> 00:06:42,084 I would really miss that. 149 00:06:42,123 --> 00:06:45,388 Well, Larry, then you're gonna have to tell her to wear a bra 150 00:06:45,426 --> 00:06:47,417 or fire her. 151 00:06:49,830 --> 00:06:52,320 - If I see... - All right, I'll tell... I'll tell her. 152 00:06:52,365 --> 00:06:54,356 - I'll tell her to put the bra on. - Okay. 153 00:06:54,401 --> 00:06:56,369 I'll talk to her. I'll talk to her, no problem. 154 00:06:56,403 --> 00:06:57,870 - Okay. - Okay? 155 00:06:57,904 --> 00:06:59,371 - All right. - I got it. 156 00:06:59,406 --> 00:07:01,306 - You done with this? - Yeah, I am. 157 00:07:01,341 --> 00:07:02,899 You done? 158 00:07:13,252 --> 00:07:15,481 Oh hi, I thought you were Jes�s! 159 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,147 - Jes�s! - Yeah. 160 00:07:17,188 --> 00:07:19,679 - No kidding. - Yeah, his shoes are like your shoes. 161 00:07:19,724 --> 00:07:21,351 - Yeah? - Yeah, they're very loud. 162 00:07:21,392 --> 00:07:22,984 They make a lot of noise. You gotta break them in. 163 00:07:23,027 --> 00:07:24,494 Yeah, but his feet feel really good. 164 00:07:24,529 --> 00:07:25,996 - They're better? - Si, yeah. 165 00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:27,496 - Fantastic! - Yeah, thank you. 166 00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:28,998 - That's unbelievable. - It's good. 167 00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,499 - They fit and everything? - MM-hmm! 168 00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,001 - Is he happy? - Yes. 169 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:34,094 'Cause you know, between you and me, 170 00:07:34,137 --> 00:07:37,732 - he could be quite a downer, this guy. - Yes, I know. 171 00:07:37,774 --> 00:07:39,240 He's good. 172 00:07:39,275 --> 00:07:40,742 - Maria? - Yeah? 173 00:07:40,776 --> 00:07:44,542 Uh, I got a little thing I need to talk about with you. 174 00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:46,047 Okay. 175 00:07:46,082 --> 00:07:48,915 Cheryl and I were having a conversation the other night. 176 00:07:48,951 --> 00:07:51,817 Well, last night, actually. 177 00:07:51,853 --> 00:07:53,821 You know, we couldn't help but notice 178 00:07:53,855 --> 00:07:57,222 that, uh, you don't wear a, uh... 179 00:07:57,258 --> 00:07:58,725 bra. 180 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,387 Oh, no. Don't like 'em. 181 00:08:00,428 --> 00:08:01,895 Not for me. 182 00:08:01,930 --> 00:08:03,396 - Not for you? - No. 183 00:08:03,430 --> 00:08:05,398 Hmm. 184 00:08:05,432 --> 00:08:08,890 Because, you know I got my father-in-law here. 185 00:08:08,936 --> 00:08:10,904 - Mmm hmm? - They're kind of distracting. 186 00:08:10,938 --> 00:08:12,906 Distracting? 187 00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:14,908 Yeah, a lot of flopping going on. 188 00:08:14,942 --> 00:08:16,966 - No, they don't flop... - There's floppin'! 189 00:08:17,009 --> 00:08:20,035 Don't like the support things, they're uncomfortable. 190 00:08:20,079 --> 00:08:21,876 I haven't worn one in 15 years. 191 00:08:21,914 --> 00:08:26,681 They've made some great technological advances in bras in 15 years. 192 00:08:26,719 --> 00:08:29,016 They're inviting and cozy and cottony. 193 00:08:29,054 --> 00:08:30,521 What do you call that cotton? 194 00:08:30,555 --> 00:08:33,490 Puma? That's a sneaker. 195 00:08:33,525 --> 00:08:35,550 All right... Pima! Pima! 196 00:08:35,594 --> 00:08:37,357 No, I don't like 'em. 197 00:08:37,396 --> 00:08:39,226 - You don't like 'em. - Mmm mmm. 198 00:08:39,263 --> 00:08:41,561 All right, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do for you. 199 00:08:41,599 --> 00:08:43,396 I'm gonna buy you a bra, how about that? 200 00:08:43,434 --> 00:08:44,901 I'll buy you one, you'll try it, 201 00:08:44,935 --> 00:08:47,403 you'll put it on, you'll see what I'm talking about. 202 00:08:47,438 --> 00:08:48,905 My treat. 203 00:08:48,939 --> 00:08:50,907 - Okay, I'll try it. - You'll try it! 204 00:08:50,941 --> 00:08:53,340 I'll just try it on and let's see. 205 00:08:54,377 --> 00:08:56,675 I'm gonna get you a bra. 206 00:09:01,017 --> 00:09:02,484 Where are you? 207 00:09:02,519 --> 00:09:04,008 I'm in the kitchen. 208 00:09:06,054 --> 00:09:08,249 What the hell is that? 209 00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:10,485 Oh, my orthotics. 210 00:09:10,526 --> 00:09:12,084 What's the story with that? 211 00:09:12,127 --> 00:09:13,958 Well, I got these new orthotics, you know... 212 00:09:13,996 --> 00:09:16,463 - Is it always gonna sound that way? - You need to break 'em in. 213 00:09:16,497 --> 00:09:18,158 - Okay... - But my foot? 214 00:09:18,199 --> 00:09:19,962 - Yeah? - Good night, nurse. 215 00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:21,525 - Really? - Yeah. 216 00:09:21,569 --> 00:09:23,867 - How about that? Congratulations. - Thank you. 217 00:09:23,905 --> 00:09:26,896 - Thank you. - Beer? 218 00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:29,773 - Hmmm. Maybe later. - All right, well, if you want one, 219 00:09:29,810 --> 00:09:31,801 I haven't been able to find my can opener. 220 00:09:31,845 --> 00:09:36,043 I'm telling you something. I got a housekeeper who steals. 221 00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:38,880 - Really? - Oh yeah. 222 00:09:38,918 --> 00:09:41,148 So it's just a can opener, you might not think it's much. 223 00:09:41,187 --> 00:09:42,779 But everything I look for, gone! 224 00:09:42,822 --> 00:09:45,655 - Why don't you fire her? - 'Cause I don't know for sure. 225 00:09:45,691 --> 00:09:47,158 But I'm pretty sure. 226 00:09:47,193 --> 00:09:50,026 - Gee, I hate to hear that. - I know, it's horrible. 227 00:09:50,062 --> 00:09:52,757 Of course, my housekeeper, I had to tell her to wear a bra. 228 00:09:52,797 --> 00:09:54,856 You had to tell your housekeeper to wear a bra? 229 00:09:54,899 --> 00:09:58,835 I am buying her... I have to buy her a bra. 230 00:09:58,870 --> 00:10:01,930 I just don't know what size she is. 231 00:10:01,973 --> 00:10:03,701 Honey... 232 00:10:03,740 --> 00:10:06,072 - Sammi's last tooth finally fell out. - Oh, great, great! 233 00:10:06,109 --> 00:10:07,576 Look at that, huh? 234 00:10:07,611 --> 00:10:10,102 Yeah, Tooth Fairy'll be coming tonight. 235 00:10:10,147 --> 00:10:12,115 Wait a second, what is this? 236 00:10:12,149 --> 00:10:14,014 What, Tooth Fairy. 237 00:10:14,051 --> 00:10:15,517 - Tooth Fairy? - Yeah. 238 00:10:15,551 --> 00:10:18,543 What, are you kidding? She's like 11 years old. 239 00:10:18,588 --> 00:10:20,647 It's none of your God damn business, Larry. 240 00:10:20,690 --> 00:10:22,988 Her tooth falls out, we stick it under her pillow. 241 00:10:23,025 --> 00:10:25,960 She still believes in the Tooth Fairy? 242 00:10:25,995 --> 00:10:28,622 Yes, she still believes. What's the matter with that? 243 00:10:28,663 --> 00:10:30,631 - Really? - Yeah. 244 00:10:30,665 --> 00:10:32,690 Jesus Christ, I'm shocked. 245 00:10:32,734 --> 00:10:35,965 What's so shocking? You don't understand children. 246 00:10:36,004 --> 00:10:37,767 You don't know child psychology, 247 00:10:37,806 --> 00:10:39,773 and what they believe and don't believe. 248 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,399 - I guess I don't. - No! 249 00:10:41,442 --> 00:10:43,967 I knew there was no Tooth Fairy even before my teeth fell out. 250 00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,876 Really? Maybe that's what your problem is. 251 00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:48,108 Maybe if you had faith or a belief in something 252 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:52,083 you wouldn't have ended up the way you did, you know? 253 00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:54,382 What are you looking at? 254 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:56,081 What? No, nothing. 255 00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:58,386 All right. Thanks for your help. 256 00:10:58,424 --> 00:11:00,449 Yeah, my pleasure. It's always something. 257 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:03,290 Do me a favor? For the rest of the night, just leave us alone. 258 00:11:03,328 --> 00:11:05,228 - Fine, my pleasure. - Thank you. 259 00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:08,358 - You know what? - What? 260 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:12,200 I think she's about the same size as Maria my housekeeper. 261 00:11:12,237 --> 00:11:14,205 - Really? - Yeah. 262 00:11:14,239 --> 00:11:17,173 - You know what size she is? - No. I can find out. 263 00:11:17,208 --> 00:11:18,835 - Would you? - Sure. 264 00:11:18,876 --> 00:11:21,470 - Thank you, thank you. - Do you know what Cheryl's size is? 265 00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:25,175 I just found out, and I gotta tell you something. 266 00:11:25,216 --> 00:11:26,876 - A little disappointed. - Really? 267 00:11:26,917 --> 00:11:28,885 What, "B" cup? 268 00:11:28,919 --> 00:11:30,887 - I'd rather not say. - "C"? 269 00:11:30,921 --> 00:11:32,786 - I can't, you know... - 32? 34? 270 00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:34,722 - I don't want to talk about it. - Come on. 271 00:11:34,758 --> 00:11:36,225 I don't want to talk about it. 272 00:11:36,259 --> 00:11:37,817 - Come on! - No! 273 00:11:37,861 --> 00:11:40,658 I'm giving you Susie's bra size, give me Cheryl's bra size. 274 00:11:40,696 --> 00:11:44,097 - It's a trade. - I can't, I don't want to. 275 00:11:44,133 --> 00:11:47,728 You don't tell me Cheryl's, I ain't telling you Susie's. 276 00:11:47,770 --> 00:11:50,499 - Okay. Fine. - Okay. Fine. 277 00:11:50,538 --> 00:11:52,267 I'm not the one who has to go out and buy a bra. 278 00:11:52,307 --> 00:11:54,366 - I don't give a shit. - Oh, yeah, you do. 279 00:11:56,377 --> 00:11:58,345 It's unbelievable, isn't it? 280 00:11:58,379 --> 00:12:00,609 I could be general manager 281 00:12:00,648 --> 00:12:02,172 - of a basketball team. - No, you couldn't. 282 00:12:02,216 --> 00:12:04,240 - I could put together a better team... - You could not. 283 00:12:04,284 --> 00:12:06,445 - Don't tell me I couldn't! - You don't have a clue. 284 00:12:06,486 --> 00:12:08,454 Half the things you say here on the couch... 285 00:12:08,488 --> 00:12:10,615 I know as much about basketball as these idiots. 286 00:12:10,657 --> 00:12:12,591 I just need the opportunity. 287 00:12:12,626 --> 00:12:14,287 That's all, just the opportunity. 288 00:12:14,328 --> 00:12:17,592 A young, fresh kid out of college just needs the opportunity. 289 00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:19,598 I do! I know I could do it. 290 00:12:19,632 --> 00:12:22,567 - Where you going? - Bathroom. 291 00:13:25,092 --> 00:13:28,390 What are you doing? What are you doing with that money? 292 00:13:28,428 --> 00:13:30,760 I was checking to make sure the Tooth Fairy left it. 293 00:13:30,797 --> 00:13:34,028 You're lying! You're a liar! You're the Tooth Fairy! 294 00:13:34,067 --> 00:13:35,762 There is no Tooth Fairy! 295 00:13:35,802 --> 00:13:38,702 - There is a Tooth Fairy. - You're lying! It's you! 296 00:13:38,737 --> 00:13:40,705 I'm gonna kill him! 297 00:13:40,739 --> 00:13:42,570 It's you! You're the Tooth Fairy! 298 00:13:42,608 --> 00:13:44,701 - You know what you just did? - What? 299 00:13:44,743 --> 00:13:48,201 Sammi caught me putting the money under her pillow. 300 00:13:48,247 --> 00:13:51,113 Because you woke her up with those things in your shoes, and now 301 00:13:51,149 --> 00:13:53,515 - she knows that I'm the Tooth Fairy. - Really? 302 00:13:53,551 --> 00:13:55,678 - The shoes woke her up? - Yes, the shoes woke her up! 303 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,655 She knows that there's no Tooth Fairy now! 304 00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:00,624 - I'm sorry. - Oh, you're sorry? 305 00:14:00,658 --> 00:14:02,352 I'm her mother! Trust! 306 00:14:02,392 --> 00:14:05,020 I know, but it had to happen eventually. 307 00:14:05,062 --> 00:14:09,226 You know, you're a stupid fucking idiot! I cannot listen to this! 308 00:14:09,266 --> 00:14:12,394 Jeff, do you hear this? "It had to happen eventually." 309 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:15,097 His orthotics, whatever the hell they are, 310 00:14:15,137 --> 00:14:18,368 - the noise woke Sammi up. - What's with your farchadat shoes? 311 00:14:18,407 --> 00:14:20,102 I told you it takes a while to break 'em in. 312 00:14:20,142 --> 00:14:22,542 What are you breaking 'em in in my house for? It's crazy! 313 00:14:22,578 --> 00:14:24,375 Uh, you know... 314 00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:27,210 Let me just posit this, okay? 315 00:14:27,248 --> 00:14:28,909 It might be a blessing in disguise. 316 00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:31,248 - How? - The kid's 11 years old, already. 317 00:14:31,286 --> 00:14:32,753 Enough with the Tooth Fairy! 318 00:14:32,787 --> 00:14:35,813 Not your business, Larry, you misanthropic moron! 319 00:14:35,857 --> 00:14:37,825 Not for you to judge! She's our kid, 320 00:14:37,859 --> 00:14:40,383 we decide when she knows about the Tooth Fairy! 321 00:14:40,427 --> 00:14:43,225 Maybe you shouldn't have propagated this ridiculous myth! 322 00:14:43,263 --> 00:14:45,060 Get the fuck out of my house! 323 00:14:45,099 --> 00:14:47,693 - You sure? - Yes! 324 00:15:07,919 --> 00:15:10,615 Hey, what's going on? 325 00:15:10,655 --> 00:15:12,122 What is it? 326 00:15:12,157 --> 00:15:15,421 Larry, get rid of those orthotics! 327 00:15:18,262 --> 00:15:20,423 Now I'll never get back to sleep! 328 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:41,005 May I help you? 329 00:15:41,049 --> 00:15:43,017 Yes, hi, um... 330 00:15:43,051 --> 00:15:45,019 yeah, I'm interested in, um... 331 00:15:45,053 --> 00:15:47,021 in buying a, uh... 332 00:15:47,055 --> 00:15:49,023 ...bra. 333 00:15:49,057 --> 00:15:51,024 - For your... - It's not for me, no. 334 00:15:51,058 --> 00:15:53,390 For your sweetheart or your wife? Girlfriend? 335 00:15:53,427 --> 00:15:55,793 Actually, my housekeeper. 336 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,889 Oh, housekeeper, okay. 337 00:15:57,932 --> 00:15:59,763 I'm not making it up. It's really not for me. 338 00:15:59,801 --> 00:16:01,927 Fine, no it's not... of course it's not for you. 339 00:16:01,968 --> 00:16:04,960 - Tell me you believe me. - I believe you, of course not! 340 00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,734 Not that there's anything wrong with it. 341 00:16:06,773 --> 00:16:09,537 But there is something wrong with it. There's a lot wrong with it. 342 00:16:09,576 --> 00:16:11,373 You can't say that in this day and age. 343 00:16:11,411 --> 00:16:13,538 I like to walk around with underwear on my head. 344 00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:15,911 Is there something wrong with that? 345 00:16:15,948 --> 00:16:18,917 - There's something wrong with that. - That's very funny. 346 00:16:18,951 --> 00:16:20,942 - So you really do need a bra, then? - Yes. 347 00:16:20,986 --> 00:16:23,682 Something comfortable. She hasn't worn one in 15 years. 348 00:16:23,722 --> 00:16:25,121 - Not a French maid outfit? - No, 349 00:16:25,157 --> 00:16:27,090 it's not a lacey French maid outfit. 350 00:16:27,125 --> 00:16:29,389 - 'Cause we have lots of those. - This feels very nice. 351 00:16:29,427 --> 00:16:32,555 Yes, this is our revolutionary "Elasticene." 352 00:16:32,597 --> 00:16:34,565 - This is the one... - Lovely. 353 00:16:34,599 --> 00:16:36,658 This is the best bra we make. 354 00:16:36,701 --> 00:16:38,668 It's so soft, I like that. I like that. 355 00:16:38,702 --> 00:16:41,034 In fact, this one... 356 00:16:41,071 --> 00:16:42,732 I wonder if they make underwear out of this stuff. 357 00:16:42,773 --> 00:16:44,741 They do. We have matching panties. 358 00:16:44,775 --> 00:16:46,743 No, for me, for men. 359 00:16:46,777 --> 00:16:48,870 See, that's what I'm saying. 360 00:16:48,912 --> 00:16:52,244 Feel free to try on anything here that you want. 361 00:16:52,281 --> 00:16:54,340 Are you out of your mind? 362 00:16:54,383 --> 00:16:56,374 I'm not saying it's for me. It's not for me. 363 00:16:56,419 --> 00:16:59,354 I'm just saying this kind of foamy, soft material 364 00:16:59,388 --> 00:17:03,016 - would be nice down there for me. - It's so smooth, yes. 365 00:17:03,058 --> 00:17:05,049 That doesn't make me a pervert... 366 00:17:05,093 --> 00:17:07,254 There's nothing perverted about it! 367 00:17:07,295 --> 00:17:10,025 ...just 'cause I want to wear underwear made out of a bra. 368 00:17:10,065 --> 00:17:12,727 Let's figure out what this woman has... 369 00:17:15,536 --> 00:17:17,595 Got a good selection for you here. 370 00:17:17,638 --> 00:17:19,765 And the only issue, of course, is the size, 371 00:17:19,807 --> 00:17:23,243 which I have to say I didn't really know your size. 372 00:17:23,277 --> 00:17:25,245 I got a feeling I think I nailed it. 373 00:17:25,279 --> 00:17:26,768 I really do! 374 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,804 Okay, try them all on. 375 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,816 - All right? - Thank you, Mr. David. 376 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,545 All right, you're welcome. 377 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,860 Hey. 378 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,795 You're a sick fuck, you know that? 379 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,593 What are you talking about? 380 00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:50,067 What are we talking about? Our housekeeper's been stealing, Larry, 381 00:17:50,101 --> 00:17:52,228 so we installed cameras throughout the house. 382 00:17:52,270 --> 00:17:55,103 Laundry room. I looked at the tape. 383 00:17:58,643 --> 00:18:00,338 Quite a show, Larry. 384 00:18:00,378 --> 00:18:02,004 Look familiar? 385 00:18:02,045 --> 00:18:03,945 So, I'm looking at the size of it. 386 00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:06,312 I needed to buy a bra for the housekeeper, 387 00:18:06,349 --> 00:18:08,579 and it seemed like you two were the same size. 388 00:18:08,618 --> 00:18:10,518 So I needed to find out what your size was! 389 00:18:10,553 --> 00:18:12,919 And what's all this mincing around? What is this? 390 00:18:12,956 --> 00:18:15,082 I was trying to imagine what it would be like 391 00:18:15,124 --> 00:18:17,092 to be the housekeeper and have those breasts 392 00:18:17,126 --> 00:18:19,094 you know, working and doing dishes. 393 00:18:19,128 --> 00:18:21,323 And how did that feel? Did it feel good? 394 00:18:21,363 --> 00:18:24,059 This is how your housekeeper washes dishes, like this? 395 00:18:24,099 --> 00:18:28,467 Huh? That's what she does? She dances, mincing around, washing dishes? 396 00:18:28,503 --> 00:18:30,471 Why are you looking at her breasts? 397 00:18:30,505 --> 00:18:33,633 I don't understand why you would walk into her laundry room 398 00:18:33,675 --> 00:18:35,643 and start rifling through her underwear. 399 00:18:35,677 --> 00:18:37,974 I just happened to see the bra there, so I thought, 400 00:18:38,011 --> 00:18:41,674 hey look at that, she seems to be about the same size as Maria! 401 00:18:41,715 --> 00:18:44,149 That's what you're doing? Staring at everyone's breasts? 402 00:18:44,184 --> 00:18:47,153 - Yeah, exactly! - I had to buy her a bra and I thought... 403 00:18:47,187 --> 00:18:49,178 Why are you buying her a bra! You don't have to. 404 00:18:49,222 --> 00:18:51,781 You're the one who made me get a bra for her in the first place! 405 00:18:51,824 --> 00:18:54,190 I never said go buy her a bra! What is wrong with you? 406 00:18:54,226 --> 00:18:57,718 You wanted her to put a bra on, and I was just fine... 407 00:18:57,763 --> 00:19:00,095 You don't walk around looking... 408 00:19:00,132 --> 00:19:03,191 It's disgusting. Keep you goddamn hands off my brassiere, okay? 409 00:19:03,234 --> 00:19:05,202 This isn't the first time it's happened. 410 00:19:05,236 --> 00:19:08,171 The other day he's rifling through my things looking at my labels. 411 00:19:08,206 --> 00:19:09,901 We've been married 11 years. 412 00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:12,307 So I took a little peek at her bra size, big deal. 413 00:19:12,344 --> 00:19:14,208 So sue me! Lock me up! 414 00:19:14,244 --> 00:19:16,269 Pervert! You sick fuck pervert! 415 00:19:16,313 --> 00:19:18,281 You have some fetish about bras... 416 00:19:18,315 --> 00:19:20,283 Oh get out of here! Fetish... 417 00:19:20,317 --> 00:19:22,217 I don't know what the hell it is, 418 00:19:22,252 --> 00:19:24,948 but it's sick and you better fix those goddamn shoes too! 419 00:19:24,989 --> 00:19:27,786 'Cause you know what he did? He woke Sammi up the other night, 420 00:19:27,824 --> 00:19:30,793 I was putting money under her pillow because her tooth fell out. 421 00:19:30,827 --> 00:19:33,352 She caught me, now she knows there's no Tooth Fairy. 422 00:19:33,396 --> 00:19:35,421 Yes, because there is no fucking Tooth Fairy! 423 00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:38,490 - It's time she learned that! - None of your business! 424 00:19:39,768 --> 00:19:41,736 Where have you been? 425 00:19:41,770 --> 00:19:43,965 Bra shopping. 426 00:19:56,117 --> 00:19:59,143 - Okay, Mr. Larry? - Ahh! 427 00:19:59,186 --> 00:20:01,676 - It's nice? - Very nice! 428 00:20:01,721 --> 00:20:03,916 - It's good, huh? - Very nice indeed! 429 00:20:03,957 --> 00:20:05,424 - I like it! - You like it? 430 00:20:05,458 --> 00:20:06,925 It's nice, it feels good. 431 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:10,361 - Good. - Yeah, it feels nice. 432 00:20:10,397 --> 00:20:12,058 What's with him? 433 00:20:12,098 --> 00:20:14,065 Oh, he didn't get a lot of sleep last night. 434 00:20:14,099 --> 00:20:16,158 He was woken up and now he's very tired today. 435 00:20:16,201 --> 00:20:18,465 - Mmm. - Yeah. 436 00:20:19,638 --> 00:20:21,833 What's the Mezuzah doing over there? 437 00:20:21,874 --> 00:20:24,604 My father's gonna freak out. He's gonna be here any minute. 438 00:20:24,643 --> 00:20:26,610 Why didn't Jesus put the Mezuzah up? 439 00:20:26,644 --> 00:20:30,603 Oh, Jes�s was very upset that you were talking about my breasts 440 00:20:30,648 --> 00:20:32,309 and wanting to buy a bra for me, 441 00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:35,251 so he said, "Mr. David can go fuck himself." 442 00:20:35,286 --> 00:20:38,982 That's what Jes�s said? 443 00:20:39,022 --> 00:20:41,354 Yeah, he was mad. 444 00:20:49,398 --> 00:20:51,366 My father's pulling up! Where's a hammer? 445 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,664 He keeps it in the drawer somewhere. 446 00:20:57,273 --> 00:20:59,070 What about a nail? Where's a nail? 447 00:20:59,108 --> 00:21:01,132 I don't know where he keeps the nails! 448 00:21:51,388 --> 00:21:53,686 What's going on there? 449 00:21:53,724 --> 00:21:55,954 I'm putting up a Mezuzah. 450 00:21:55,993 --> 00:21:58,587 Wait a minute. Is that my nail? 451 00:21:58,629 --> 00:22:00,688 - I'll get you another one. - You took my nail? 452 00:22:00,731 --> 00:22:02,698 - Larry! - That's blasphemy! 453 00:22:02,732 --> 00:22:04,723 What? What is going on? 454 00:22:04,767 --> 00:22:06,496 He took my nail! He took my nail! 455 00:22:06,536 --> 00:22:08,504 Took the nail right off my neck! 456 00:22:08,538 --> 00:22:10,733 Why'd you have a nail around your neck? 457 00:22:10,773 --> 00:22:12,741 That's Jesus' nail! 458 00:22:12,775 --> 00:22:14,742 My father's coming right now! 459 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,078 - Hey, hey, hey! - Hey hey! 460 00:22:27,121 --> 00:22:29,089 Hey, boychick. 461 00:22:29,123 --> 00:22:31,819 All right. All right, kiddo. 462 00:22:31,859 --> 00:22:35,522 Hi, Nat. 463 00:22:39,533 --> 00:22:41,660 This is the best chicken salad I've ever had. 464 00:22:41,701 --> 00:22:43,168 - Ever, right? - Unbelievable. 465 00:22:43,203 --> 00:22:44,830 I don't know what the hell she does. 466 00:22:44,871 --> 00:22:46,839 My God, she makes chicken salad, 467 00:22:46,873 --> 00:22:48,965 she wears brassieres, she does it all! 468 00:22:49,008 --> 00:22:51,238 Yeah, she's very happy with the bras, by the way. 469 00:22:51,277 --> 00:22:52,744 Really? 470 00:22:52,778 --> 00:22:55,611 Yeah. Nailed, nailed the bra size. 471 00:22:55,648 --> 00:22:58,116 - Really? - I don't know how I do it. 472 00:22:58,150 --> 00:23:00,982 I've really got some kind of talent for that, you know? 473 00:23:01,019 --> 00:23:03,249 Maybe you can get a job in a carnival somewhere. 474 00:23:03,288 --> 00:23:07,384 Yeah, it's true. I'm good at it. 475 00:23:07,425 --> 00:23:09,052 Yeah, have your own little booth. 476 00:23:09,093 --> 00:23:13,688 "Step right up. You are... 477 00:23:13,730 --> 00:23:16,062 ...36C!" 478 00:23:16,099 --> 00:23:17,726 - Huh? - Yeah! 479 00:23:17,768 --> 00:23:19,235 - I know. - Great. 480 00:23:19,269 --> 00:23:21,635 Of course, Jes�s freaked out about the whole thing. 481 00:23:21,672 --> 00:23:23,139 - Really? - He quit, yeah. 482 00:23:23,173 --> 00:23:24,799 - He quit? - Quit. 483 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,468 - Wow. - The whole thing about the bra, 484 00:23:27,510 --> 00:23:29,569 talking about the bra, 485 00:23:29,612 --> 00:23:32,445 asking her to buy a bra. 486 00:23:32,481 --> 00:23:34,540 He told her to tell me to go fuck myself. 487 00:23:34,584 --> 00:23:36,176 - Really? - Yeah. 488 00:23:36,219 --> 00:23:38,584 He's a fucking nut job, this guy. 489 00:23:38,620 --> 00:23:40,918 So, did you replace the nail? 490 00:23:40,956 --> 00:23:43,015 Did I replace the nail? 491 00:23:43,058 --> 00:23:45,026 I believe I have. 492 00:23:45,060 --> 00:23:46,925 Oh, okay, good. 493 00:23:46,962 --> 00:23:49,020 Your father-in-law's gonna be very happy. 494 00:23:49,063 --> 00:23:51,998 Happy man. Your dad's happy, you father-in-law's happy, 495 00:23:52,032 --> 00:23:55,763 Unless, of course, any other emergencies arise that require a nail to remedy it. 496 00:23:55,803 --> 00:23:57,862 You never know when you're gonna need a nail. 497 00:23:57,905 --> 00:24:00,566 - You never know. - You never know. 498 00:24:03,810 --> 00:24:05,607 - What's the matter? - My tooth! 499 00:24:05,645 --> 00:24:07,112 What? 500 00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:08,704 Fuck! 501 00:24:08,748 --> 00:24:10,545 I think my tooth fell out. 502 00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:12,244 Oh... 503 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,383 Shit! My tooth fell out! 504 00:24:16,421 --> 00:24:19,390 - My tooth! - From a chicken salad sandwich? 505 00:24:19,424 --> 00:24:22,621 What fuckin' idiot put bones in a sandwich? 506 00:24:22,661 --> 00:24:24,458 I bit into a bone! 507 00:24:24,496 --> 00:24:27,464 There's bones in the chicken salad! 508 00:24:27,498 --> 00:24:29,830 Shit! 509 00:24:29,867 --> 00:24:32,165 Fuck! 510 00:24:33,871 --> 00:24:37,670 Quiet. What's that noise? 511 00:24:37,707 --> 00:24:39,174 What? 512 00:24:39,209 --> 00:24:40,870 Shh. 513 00:24:40,910 --> 00:24:44,175 Sounds like your shoes. 514 00:24:45,315 --> 00:24:46,782 Jes�s! 515 00:25:14,041 --> 00:25:15,770 I didn't see anybody. 516 00:25:22,616 --> 00:25:24,311 Fuck! 517 00:25:47,238 --> 00:25:48,727 - What happened? - He just fell. 518 00:25:48,772 --> 00:25:50,239 Fell? 519 00:25:57,247 --> 00:25:58,714 What is that language? 520 00:25:58,749 --> 00:26:00,306 I have no idea. 521 00:26:01,984 --> 00:26:04,509 What's this? There's something in his foot! 522 00:26:05,955 --> 00:26:08,082 Oh my God! 523 00:26:13,195 --> 00:26:15,857 The nail. 524 00:26:15,897 --> 00:26:18,457 I must have dropped it! 525 00:26:18,500 --> 00:26:22,129 It saved me! 526 00:26:24,638 --> 00:26:28,369 Come on, let's get him some help. 527 00:27:03,141 --> 00:27:06,042 Very funny. 528 00:27:06,077 --> 00:27:08,409 I don't know what you're talking about. 39571

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