All language subtitles for Curb.Your.Enthusiasm.S05E02.DVDRip.x264-SARTRE

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese Download
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,577 --> 00:00:15,545 So then he goes like this... 2 00:00:15,579 --> 00:00:17,911 I go, "What is it, Dad?" He goes... 3 00:00:17,948 --> 00:00:19,917 like this. He can't talk. 4 00:00:19,951 --> 00:00:22,317 He's in the hospital, the bed, you know? 5 00:00:23,621 --> 00:00:26,556 So I lean in, and he whispers in my ear. 6 00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,958 He says to me, 7 00:00:28,994 --> 00:00:31,656 "You're adopted." 8 00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:35,523 - He said that? - I think he said that. 9 00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:38,002 Maybe he said, "You're a doctor." I don't know. 10 00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:41,030 But why would he say I'm a doctor? I would know if I'm a doctor. 11 00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:43,474 Why do you think he would wait until now to tell you? 12 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:44,841 Maybe he thought he was dying. 13 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,903 But I'm still not 100% sure that he said it. 14 00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:49,040 So basically what you're saying is, 15 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:51,483 you want me to find out if you're adopted or not. 16 00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:53,146 Yes. 17 00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:55,655 First, how did you find me? 18 00:00:55,690 --> 00:00:57,749 My friend said he read this big article 19 00:00:57,792 --> 00:00:59,761 about you in the L.A. Magazine. 20 00:00:59,795 --> 00:01:02,923 "Best Best Private Investigator in Los Angeles." 21 00:01:02,965 --> 00:01:04,933 Look, Mr. David, 22 00:01:04,967 --> 00:01:06,935 I have to be honest with you. 23 00:01:06,969 --> 00:01:08,937 My business and what I do... 24 00:01:08,971 --> 00:01:10,735 what I do is I service the community. 25 00:01:10,773 --> 00:01:12,400 Basically what I'm saying is, 26 00:01:12,442 --> 00:01:14,535 I don't see a way that you would, uh, 27 00:01:14,577 --> 00:01:16,704 be helping my community. 28 00:01:16,746 --> 00:01:18,714 What about... 29 00:01:18,748 --> 00:01:20,717 calling some bingo games or something? 30 00:01:20,751 --> 00:01:23,743 You got, like, a community center for bingo? 31 00:01:23,787 --> 00:01:25,846 Bingo's a distraction. 32 00:01:25,890 --> 00:01:27,721 Don't underestimate bingo. 33 00:01:29,426 --> 00:01:31,793 I've got extra sneakers that I don't wear anymore 34 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,390 - in pretty good condition, I must say. - Extra sneakers? 35 00:01:34,432 --> 00:01:36,229 I'd be more than happy to donate 'em. 36 00:01:36,268 --> 00:01:39,237 Mr. David, I don't think this is gonna work. 37 00:01:39,271 --> 00:01:41,240 It would mean an awful lot to me. 38 00:01:41,274 --> 00:01:43,242 Please please, think about it. 39 00:01:43,276 --> 00:01:45,676 If there's anything I can do to convince you, 40 00:01:45,711 --> 00:01:48,145 - I would. - I can't promise anything. 41 00:01:48,180 --> 00:01:50,308 What about a big brother kind of thing? 42 00:01:52,119 --> 00:01:54,053 Let me talk to some of my community leaders 43 00:01:54,087 --> 00:01:56,055 and see exactly what the community needs... 44 00:01:56,089 --> 00:01:58,216 I'm not talking about for a long time. 45 00:01:58,258 --> 00:02:00,226 Maybe for one afternoon, 46 00:02:00,261 --> 00:02:02,092 to a movie or something. 47 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:06,266 Um, is that a key to the men's room? 48 00:02:06,301 --> 00:02:08,496 Well, it says "men" on it. Yes. 49 00:02:08,536 --> 00:02:10,630 It's a natural question to ask. 50 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,403 - Yes. - May I borrow the key? 51 00:02:13,442 --> 00:02:15,433 - Yes, you may borrow the key. - Thank you. 52 00:02:15,477 --> 00:02:17,604 Okay. Thanks, Mr. Jones. 53 00:02:17,646 --> 00:02:19,614 - And you'll think about it? - I will. 54 00:02:19,648 --> 00:02:20,673 By the way... 55 00:02:20,717 --> 00:02:23,083 Iove the bow-tie. 56 00:02:35,266 --> 00:02:37,996 - What are you doing?! - Using the bathroom. 57 00:02:38,035 --> 00:02:40,663 That's my stall! Did you see the plaque on it... 58 00:02:40,705 --> 00:02:43,197 Yes, I know, but somebody was using the other one, so l... 59 00:02:43,241 --> 00:02:45,141 Well, then you wait! 60 00:02:45,177 --> 00:02:47,941 I couldn't wait. It was an emergency. I had to go! 61 00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:50,278 There's one stall for me, and you're in it! 62 00:02:50,315 --> 00:02:52,807 If you were here, I would have given you first dibs. 63 00:02:52,852 --> 00:02:55,548 But honestly, I haven't seen a handicapped person in the bathroom, 64 00:02:55,588 --> 00:02:58,489 maybe ever. So I thought I could perhaps take my chances. 65 00:02:58,524 --> 00:03:00,492 "A handicapped person"? 66 00:03:00,526 --> 00:03:03,018 That's nice. Oh, that's nice! 67 00:03:03,063 --> 00:03:04,826 - It's called disabled. Disabled. - Disabled? 68 00:03:04,865 --> 00:03:06,799 Well, that doesn't sound so hot. 69 00:03:06,834 --> 00:03:10,463 I don't really care what it sounds like to you, okay? It's disabled. 70 00:03:10,504 --> 00:03:12,200 I think I would prefer handicapped. 71 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:15,266 God, you know how archaic that word is? "A handicapped person"! 72 00:03:15,310 --> 00:03:16,743 That's demeaning, don't you know? 73 00:03:16,778 --> 00:03:18,336 - I'm a disabled person. - Oh, sorry. 74 00:03:18,380 --> 00:03:19,904 - You're sorry. - Oh, sorry. 75 00:03:19,948 --> 00:03:22,213 Now you've learned a lesson. Please, don't ever go 76 00:03:22,251 --> 00:03:24,344 - in my stall again! All right? - Fine, okay. 77 00:03:24,387 --> 00:03:25,752 - Thanks so much! - You're welcome. 78 00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:27,221 - I appreciate it. - You're welcome. 79 00:03:27,256 --> 00:03:29,247 Douche-bag. 80 00:03:34,097 --> 00:03:36,065 So you think he's a Muslim? 81 00:03:36,099 --> 00:03:38,329 - He had the bow-tie. - Huh? 82 00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:40,996 Do black men who aren't Muslims ever wear bow-ties? 83 00:03:41,038 --> 00:03:44,202 - I haven't seen it. - It'd be interesting to find that out. 84 00:03:44,242 --> 00:03:46,437 - I'm surprised you didn't ask him. - Yeah, me too. 85 00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:48,911 I mean, you know, I don't care either way, I'm just curious. 86 00:03:48,946 --> 00:03:51,847 Well, I'll tell you something, that I think he's a Muslim. 87 00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,681 Hey, that's a handicapped spot. 88 00:03:57,423 --> 00:03:58,981 Wh-wh-what? 89 00:03:59,024 --> 00:04:00,719 What's with the walking? 90 00:04:00,759 --> 00:04:03,160 Fuck you! 91 00:04:03,196 --> 00:04:05,096 I have a stutter! 92 00:04:06,099 --> 00:04:07,566 Yeah, but you can walk. 93 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,626 Look at my license plate! 94 00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:12,639 I have permission, 95 00:04:12,673 --> 00:04:15,005 you fucking prick! 96 00:04:26,121 --> 00:04:28,089 Oh hey... 97 00:04:28,123 --> 00:04:29,750 we got a dog. 98 00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,656 Really? Why? 99 00:04:31,693 --> 00:04:34,390 - She wanted a dog. - You have to walk it and everything? 100 00:04:34,430 --> 00:04:36,955 - I'm sure I'll wind up doing stuff. - Oh, definitely. 101 00:04:36,999 --> 00:04:39,297 I know, yeah, but you know what? It's kind of cute. 102 00:04:39,335 --> 00:04:40,927 - Larry! - I kind of like it. Hi! 103 00:04:40,970 --> 00:04:42,939 - Hi! - Jodi! 104 00:04:42,973 --> 00:04:44,565 - How are you? - Great, great. 105 00:04:44,608 --> 00:04:46,633 - So good to see you! - Great to see you. 106 00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:48,838 - Hi Jodi. How are you doing? - Hi. 107 00:04:48,879 --> 00:04:50,972 - How are you doing, - Ms. Jodi Funkhouser? 108 00:04:52,149 --> 00:04:53,845 - So what's going on? - Nothing. 109 00:04:53,885 --> 00:04:55,716 Seeking attention, getting rejected. 110 00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:58,313 - Are those new glasses? - No, but I cleaned them. 111 00:04:58,356 --> 00:05:00,187 You're so funny! 112 00:05:00,225 --> 00:05:02,022 - I'm here with my dad. - Oh yeah? 113 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:05,519 Are you coming to my parents' 25th anniversary party? 114 00:05:05,564 --> 00:05:06,826 I am. 115 00:05:06,866 --> 00:05:09,426 - Oh. Are you? - Eh... 116 00:05:09,468 --> 00:05:11,436 It'll be fun, really. Think about it. 117 00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:13,405 I'm not gonna think about it, but whatever. 118 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,998 - I really hope you come. - Well, thanks. 119 00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:17,032 - It's so good to see you. - Good to see you. 120 00:05:17,077 --> 00:05:19,045 - Wow, great to see you. - Yeah. Bye-bye. 121 00:05:19,079 --> 00:05:20,774 Bye. 122 00:05:21,982 --> 00:05:24,383 All right, is it my imagination? 123 00:05:24,418 --> 00:05:27,216 Does she like you that much or does she dislike me that much? 124 00:05:27,255 --> 00:05:30,053 Oh, lesbians love me. They love me. 125 00:05:30,091 --> 00:05:32,423 - How is that? - Well, when I first got to L.A. 126 00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:34,429 You remember... you know Patty, my friend Patty. 127 00:05:34,463 --> 00:05:36,124 - Patty, yeah. - Well, she's a lesbian. 128 00:05:36,165 --> 00:05:37,632 - Yes. - You know, so, obviously, 129 00:05:37,666 --> 00:05:39,964 they talk amongst themselves, and the word got out 130 00:05:40,002 --> 00:05:42,402 that I'm a friend o' lesbians. 131 00:05:42,437 --> 00:05:45,339 - You're a friend o' lesbians! - Yes, they know that. 132 00:05:45,375 --> 00:05:47,502 So the community has completely embraced you. 133 00:05:47,544 --> 00:05:50,672 Totally embraced me. Completely. 134 00:05:50,713 --> 00:05:52,806 More so than any other community. 135 00:05:52,849 --> 00:05:54,818 Including Jews. 136 00:05:54,852 --> 00:05:56,581 - Ready? This way. - Hi, two. Yeah. 137 00:05:59,290 --> 00:06:01,724 Oh, Jeez. 138 00:06:03,427 --> 00:06:06,261 The men's room key from the private investigator's office. 139 00:06:06,298 --> 00:06:07,925 I forgot to bring it back. 140 00:06:07,966 --> 00:06:10,196 - I'm always doing that. - Hey, 141 00:06:10,235 --> 00:06:12,703 check out the bow-tie here. 142 00:06:12,737 --> 00:06:14,729 It's a smart look. 143 00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,799 I think I'm gonna get me one of those. 144 00:06:16,842 --> 00:06:19,140 You know what? You oughtta try wearing a bow-tie. 145 00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:21,146 - It'd be a good look for you. Hi! - Hi. 146 00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:22,977 - How are you doing? How are you doing? - Great! 147 00:06:23,015 --> 00:06:24,813 Hey, thanks for sending the invite back. 148 00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:26,842 - Oh, sure. I'm excited. - We're gonna have a blast. 149 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,117 - It's gonna be... are you coming? - Eh... 150 00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,249 - Tell me you're coming. Please. - I don't know. 151 00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,122 25 years of marriage! 152 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,561 - Rosie's coming. - Rosie O'Donnell? 153 00:06:35,597 --> 00:06:38,498 And I have Larry David's place card right next to hers. 154 00:06:38,533 --> 00:06:41,058 - Really? You're sitting me next to her? - Right next to her. 155 00:06:41,102 --> 00:06:43,332 - You know Rosie O'Donnell? - I know her from New York. 156 00:06:43,371 --> 00:06:45,340 We used to hang out together doing comedy. 157 00:06:45,374 --> 00:06:46,398 You'll have a great time. 158 00:06:46,442 --> 00:06:48,467 - Just send the invitation back, okay? - Oh, thank you. 159 00:06:48,510 --> 00:06:50,740 - I'll see you guys there. I'm excited. - By the way, 160 00:06:50,779 --> 00:06:52,804 - Jodie's really looking good. - She does look great. 161 00:06:52,848 --> 00:06:55,113 - Doesn't she look great? - Oh, thanks a lot, yeah. 162 00:06:55,151 --> 00:06:57,119 She's dating a guy. I think it's serious. 163 00:06:57,153 --> 00:06:58,882 She's dating a guy?! 164 00:06:58,922 --> 00:07:00,890 Yeah, she's no longer gay. 165 00:07:00,924 --> 00:07:03,984 What? You're kidding! 166 00:07:04,027 --> 00:07:05,996 That's fantastic! 167 00:07:06,030 --> 00:07:08,157 Congratulations! Good for you. 168 00:07:08,199 --> 00:07:11,066 She's not a lesbian anymore. 169 00:07:11,102 --> 00:07:13,593 Oh my God. Good going. 170 00:07:13,638 --> 00:07:15,698 All right, I'll see you, uh, soon. 171 00:07:15,741 --> 00:07:18,175 Yeah, I'll see you at the party. 172 00:07:28,688 --> 00:07:31,384 Larry, we need to talk. 173 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,753 It's over? 174 00:07:35,796 --> 00:07:37,525 What's over? 175 00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,657 The marriage. 176 00:07:42,169 --> 00:07:43,898 Why would our marriage be over? 177 00:07:43,937 --> 00:07:45,906 You said, 178 00:07:45,940 --> 00:07:47,874 "We need to talk." 179 00:07:47,909 --> 00:07:50,810 Yeah, we need to talk about Marty Funkhouser's party! 180 00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,837 Oh, okay. I thought... 181 00:07:53,882 --> 00:07:57,182 - eh, forget it. - No no no, what did you think? 182 00:07:58,554 --> 00:08:00,954 Well, you know, you said, "We need to talk." 183 00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,685 Generally, when couples break up, 184 00:08:03,726 --> 00:08:05,922 that's how they introduce it, you know, "We need to talk." 185 00:08:05,962 --> 00:08:08,590 - So I just thought it was... - Well, why would you... 186 00:08:08,632 --> 00:08:10,600 why would you even think that? 187 00:08:10,634 --> 00:08:13,262 Well, because women have broken up with me many times, 188 00:08:13,303 --> 00:08:15,328 and they've always introduced it with "We need to talk." 189 00:08:15,372 --> 00:08:18,171 So I'm just sort of conditioned for that response. 190 00:08:18,209 --> 00:08:20,905 And when women broke up with you, 191 00:08:20,945 --> 00:08:22,776 did you light up like that? 192 00:08:22,814 --> 00:08:24,509 Light up? 193 00:08:24,549 --> 00:08:26,016 - Yeah. - Did I light up? 194 00:08:26,050 --> 00:08:28,349 "Oh, it's over?" 195 00:08:28,387 --> 00:08:30,412 You know, it could have been a defense mechanism. 196 00:08:30,456 --> 00:08:33,118 That's how I react to things. I go the other way, 197 00:08:33,158 --> 00:08:36,720 so I don't get hurt. I protect myself. 198 00:08:36,763 --> 00:08:39,857 You understand. So what about the party? Marty Funkhouser's party... 199 00:08:39,899 --> 00:08:41,833 Have you been thinking about this for a while? 200 00:08:41,868 --> 00:08:44,234 No! Not at all! No, of course not. 201 00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:47,468 So what about the Funkhouser party? 202 00:08:47,508 --> 00:08:51,342 Well, I wanted to know if we're going or not. 203 00:08:51,379 --> 00:08:53,609 I need to send in the RSVP and... 204 00:08:53,647 --> 00:08:56,241 I wasn't going, and now I've changed my mind. 205 00:08:56,283 --> 00:08:58,081 Rosie O'Donnell's gonna be there. 206 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,611 Our table. 207 00:09:00,655 --> 00:09:02,486 And you know what else? 208 00:09:02,524 --> 00:09:05,322 I might wear a bow-tie. 209 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,989 - What do you think of that? - You're gonna wear a bow-tie? 210 00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:10,464 Are you loving that? Is that fantastic? 211 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,468 How about that for an idea, huh? 212 00:09:12,502 --> 00:09:14,402 I, well... 213 00:09:14,437 --> 00:09:16,428 You're gonna love it. 214 00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:18,737 - Well, look who's here. - Wanda! 215 00:09:18,776 --> 00:09:20,403 - Look who's here. - How are you doing? 216 00:09:20,444 --> 00:09:22,344 Welcome! This is our new house. 217 00:09:22,379 --> 00:09:24,210 - What do you think? - Well, what do you think? 218 00:09:24,248 --> 00:09:25,943 - Oh, the rental house. - This is a rental. 219 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:29,249 It's just for a few months until the renovation's done. You know. 220 00:09:29,287 --> 00:09:32,120 Shit, I mean, you're renting, so I can be honest. 221 00:09:32,157 --> 00:09:33,749 - Yeah, yeah. - I don't like it. 222 00:09:33,792 --> 00:09:35,657 - Kinda cold, like a hotel. - Yeah. 223 00:09:35,693 --> 00:09:38,128 A hotel? Hotels are good. You know, there's a lot of activity 224 00:09:38,164 --> 00:09:40,155 in the hotel lobby. I think that's a good thing. 225 00:09:40,199 --> 00:09:42,326 Why don't you put a little bellman's cap on... 226 00:09:42,368 --> 00:09:44,393 - Okay, I'll put a bellman's cap on. ...and run around. 227 00:09:44,437 --> 00:09:46,632 Put a little concierge desk over there. 228 00:09:46,672 --> 00:09:49,437 - Hey, Wanda, let me ask you a question. - What? 229 00:09:49,476 --> 00:09:51,501 Is it wrong to assume 230 00:09:51,545 --> 00:09:55,538 that a black man wearing a bow-tie is a Muslim? 231 00:09:55,582 --> 00:09:57,813 Why are you asking me some bullshit like that? 232 00:09:57,852 --> 00:09:59,285 What the fuck, Larry?! 233 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,845 I'm not your link into the black world, okay? 234 00:10:01,889 --> 00:10:05,222 So stop asking me shit about black people and stuff, all right? 235 00:10:05,259 --> 00:10:07,124 Okay, but let me ask you this: 236 00:10:07,161 --> 00:10:10,757 Have you ever seen a black man wearing a bow-tie 237 00:10:10,799 --> 00:10:13,734 - who's not a Muslim? - Who gives a fuck? 238 00:10:13,769 --> 00:10:15,100 It's just something you may have observed. 239 00:10:15,137 --> 00:10:16,900 - Have you observed... - Larry, I don't... 240 00:10:16,939 --> 00:10:19,568 - Have you ever observed a black man... - Larry, I don't... 241 00:10:19,609 --> 00:10:21,839 ...who's not a Muslim wearing a bow-tie? That's all. 242 00:10:21,878 --> 00:10:24,142 You think Farrakhan went out and bought up 243 00:10:24,180 --> 00:10:25,477 all the bow-ties or something? 244 00:10:25,515 --> 00:10:27,278 He's sitting there holding on to bow-ties 245 00:10:27,317 --> 00:10:29,616 and only Muslims get 'em? What the fuck, Larry? 246 00:10:29,653 --> 00:10:31,678 You... what... no. I don't know. 247 00:10:31,722 --> 00:10:33,121 Fair enough. Good answer. 248 00:10:33,157 --> 00:10:35,125 "I don't know." I totally accept it. 249 00:10:35,159 --> 00:10:37,252 - I got the dog. - That's what I want to see. 250 00:10:37,294 --> 00:10:39,490 - You've got to see him. Sheriff! - Sheriff! 251 00:10:39,531 --> 00:10:42,523 - Hello boy! - He's a cutie! 252 00:10:46,071 --> 00:10:49,371 - What the hell... - I think it's you, Wanda. 253 00:10:49,408 --> 00:10:51,968 - One of y'all wanna grab Cujo? - Um... 254 00:10:53,312 --> 00:10:55,712 Come on, it's just Wanda. It's just Wanda. 255 00:10:55,748 --> 00:10:58,308 I'm sorry. He's very friendly. 256 00:10:59,353 --> 00:11:01,719 We're all done in there. 257 00:11:01,755 --> 00:11:04,189 Just, uh, you have to wait overnight for the... 258 00:11:04,224 --> 00:11:06,158 hey! Hey, little buddy. Come here. 259 00:11:06,193 --> 00:11:07,660 What's wrong with your dog? 260 00:11:07,694 --> 00:11:09,595 I don't know. See how friendly he is? 261 00:11:09,631 --> 00:11:12,225 Good dog! He probably smells my dog. 262 00:11:15,670 --> 00:11:17,331 - Hey! Shit! - Oh my God! 263 00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:19,034 - God! - Hey, come on! 264 00:11:19,074 --> 00:11:20,701 Get over here. 265 00:11:20,743 --> 00:11:22,711 - What's with... - I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 266 00:11:22,745 --> 00:11:24,736 What did you do? 267 00:11:26,549 --> 00:11:28,813 - I'm really sorry. - It's okay. 268 00:11:28,851 --> 00:11:30,649 I don't know what's going on. 269 00:11:30,687 --> 00:11:33,383 - I've never seen him like this. - I'm really sorry. 270 00:11:33,423 --> 00:11:36,256 - You know what's going on. - Huh? 271 00:11:36,293 --> 00:11:38,261 You have a racist dog! 272 00:11:38,295 --> 00:11:40,355 - That dog hates black people. - Wanda. 273 00:11:40,398 --> 00:11:42,195 Larry, you trained the dog to hate black people? 274 00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:44,258 No, I didn't train it to hate black people. 275 00:11:44,302 --> 00:11:46,270 Has it barked at any white people? 276 00:11:46,304 --> 00:11:48,272 No, he's... he's... 277 00:11:48,306 --> 00:11:50,070 He hasn't barked at any white people. 278 00:11:50,108 --> 00:11:52,303 Exactly. The dog is racist. 279 00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:54,039 Sheriff's racist? 280 00:11:54,079 --> 00:11:55,706 Sheriff?! 281 00:11:55,747 --> 00:11:57,544 That's a perfect name for a racist dog. 282 00:11:57,583 --> 00:12:00,917 Where did you get this dog, the Klan meeting or something? 283 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,650 - Larry picked him out at the pound. - The pound. 284 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:06,022 Sheriff the fucking dog that eats black people. 285 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,391 What the fuck, man? I'll tell you what, 286 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,330 y'all stay here and pet your crazy-ass racist dog, 287 00:12:11,365 --> 00:12:13,458 but I am not bringing my black ass 288 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,900 back up into this fucking hotel 289 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:18,666 until y'all get rid of that fucking Klan dog. 290 00:12:18,706 --> 00:12:21,574 Got a Klan dog! 291 00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:24,044 Looking at me like I'm a damn T-bone. 292 00:12:24,079 --> 00:12:26,479 - I'll call you. - Aw, shut up. 293 00:12:38,227 --> 00:12:40,389 So we have three choices. 294 00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:42,660 I'm sorry, the first that we have is 295 00:12:42,699 --> 00:12:44,394 a skirt steak... 296 00:12:46,903 --> 00:12:48,871 Look, I can't... I can't hear you. 297 00:12:48,905 --> 00:12:50,931 I can't hear. Could you repeat that? What's that? 298 00:12:50,975 --> 00:12:52,943 It's a skirt steak, sir, or stir fry, 299 00:12:52,977 --> 00:12:55,605 uh, and that's... 300 00:12:59,283 --> 00:13:01,844 Excuse me. Excuse me. 301 00:13:01,887 --> 00:13:04,412 Excuse me, could you just keep it down a little bit? 302 00:13:04,456 --> 00:13:06,253 We can't hear the waiter. We're trying to order. 303 00:13:06,291 --> 00:13:08,316 - Keep it down? - We're trying to hear the waiter. 304 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,353 I'm trying to have a good time with my family over here. Know what I mean? 305 00:13:11,398 --> 00:13:13,059 I'm not keeping it down. I'm sorry, 306 00:13:13,099 --> 00:13:16,626 we need to keep it down for Tucker Carlson over here. 307 00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:19,104 "Keep it down"! 308 00:13:21,609 --> 00:13:24,271 - Tucker Carlson? - Tucker Carlson. 309 00:13:24,311 --> 00:13:27,576 There's a chicken rotisserie 310 00:13:27,615 --> 00:13:30,641 and a portobello mushroom salad. 311 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:33,154 - Salad? - Yeah, well the portobello 312 00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:35,418 is cut up onto mixed greens. 313 00:13:38,660 --> 00:13:41,391 - Are you a vegetarian? - Yeah, it depends. 314 00:13:41,431 --> 00:13:43,262 - She is. - Yeah. 315 00:13:43,299 --> 00:13:45,961 So that would sort of be the best choice. It's really good. 316 00:13:46,002 --> 00:13:48,937 I'm gonna get the skirt steak. Want me to order for you? 317 00:13:48,971 --> 00:13:51,064 - What do you want? - Get me the chicken. 318 00:13:51,107 --> 00:13:53,076 Excuse me. 319 00:13:53,110 --> 00:13:55,772 Uh, I'll have the portobello, yeah. 320 00:13:55,813 --> 00:13:58,543 - Hey, Sue. - What? 321 00:13:58,582 --> 00:14:00,550 What's with the snub? 322 00:14:00,584 --> 00:14:02,553 Oh, come on, Larry. 323 00:14:02,587 --> 00:14:04,316 You're acting like you don't know? 324 00:14:04,355 --> 00:14:06,323 What? I don't know why... 325 00:14:06,357 --> 00:14:07,949 What? What did I do? 326 00:14:07,992 --> 00:14:10,222 All right, let me give you a clue, okay? 327 00:14:10,261 --> 00:14:12,753 Starts with a "J" and it ends with an "I." 328 00:14:14,366 --> 00:14:15,458 Jedi? 329 00:14:15,501 --> 00:14:17,435 - You know... - What? 330 00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:18,698 It's Jodi, okay? 331 00:14:18,738 --> 00:14:20,603 Wh-what did you hear? 332 00:14:20,639 --> 00:14:23,006 Well, I heard that you just got so excited, 333 00:14:23,043 --> 00:14:25,739 like you were so happy that she wasn't with women anymore. 334 00:14:25,779 --> 00:14:27,542 - That's ridiculous. - It's not ridiculous. 335 00:14:27,581 --> 00:14:30,175 - I was happy for him. - I don't know what's happened to you. 336 00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:33,210 I wasn't really happy for him, I was pretending I was happy for him. 337 00:14:33,254 --> 00:14:35,950 - Oh really? - But that's all. I was just pretending. 338 00:14:35,990 --> 00:14:37,981 - No no no no. - No, I wasn't sincere. 339 00:14:38,025 --> 00:14:39,424 I wasn't sincerely excited. 340 00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:41,485 - You're not being sincere now. - No, now I'm being sincere. 341 00:14:41,529 --> 00:14:45,091 You know, the lesbian community used to revere you. 342 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,830 - You used to be such a liberal guy. - I'm liberal. 343 00:14:47,870 --> 00:14:49,861 - No, you're not liberal. - I am liberal. 344 00:14:49,905 --> 00:14:52,066 Look what you look like. Look at the bow-tie. 345 00:14:52,107 --> 00:14:54,508 The bow-tie... I just tried out a bow-tie, so what? 346 00:14:54,544 --> 00:14:56,876 Excuse me, excuse me. You know what? I'm sorry. 347 00:14:56,913 --> 00:14:59,211 Don't even waste your time talking to this man. 348 00:14:59,249 --> 00:15:00,910 This man is a racist. 349 00:15:00,950 --> 00:15:03,419 He has a racist dog. 350 00:15:03,454 --> 00:15:05,854 He has a dog that attacks black people. 351 00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:09,718 Okay, I do... the dog is racist. 352 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,559 - But I didn't train him to be racist. - Larry, forget about it. 353 00:15:12,597 --> 00:15:14,189 How do you know that? 354 00:15:14,232 --> 00:15:16,223 Because we talk, Larry. 355 00:15:23,376 --> 00:15:25,936 Are you having fun or what? 356 00:15:25,978 --> 00:15:27,741 What did you tell Jodi? 357 00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:30,806 I told her you were just maybe a little overjoyous 358 00:15:30,850 --> 00:15:32,910 at the fact that she was dating a boy. 359 00:15:32,953 --> 00:15:35,080 - That's all I said. - All the lesbians hate me now. 360 00:15:35,122 --> 00:15:37,056 - Oh, so it's my fault? - Yes it is! 361 00:15:37,090 --> 00:15:38,614 You celebrated! 362 00:15:38,659 --> 00:15:40,490 I was pretending to be happy for your benefit. 363 00:15:40,527 --> 00:15:42,290 - I don't need benefit! - You need benefit! 364 00:15:42,329 --> 00:15:44,093 - What do I need benefit for? - You need benefit. 365 00:15:44,132 --> 00:15:47,067 I'm happy if Jodi's happy. You're overblowing this whole thing. 366 00:15:47,101 --> 00:15:48,932 - I don't think so. - We're at a party. 367 00:15:48,970 --> 00:15:50,801 I don't like being snubbed by lesbians. 368 00:15:50,839 --> 00:15:52,830 - It's their prerogative. - I'm their biggest supporter. 369 00:15:52,874 --> 00:15:54,934 - You're their biggest supporter? - Yes I am! 370 00:15:54,977 --> 00:15:57,002 Well, they're in trouble then. 371 00:15:57,046 --> 00:15:58,980 By the way, where's Rosie O'Donnell? 372 00:15:59,014 --> 00:16:01,005 She's not here yet. 373 00:16:01,050 --> 00:16:02,711 Sure you invited her? 374 00:16:02,751 --> 00:16:04,219 She'll be here. 375 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:07,781 - When? - Soon. 376 00:16:21,839 --> 00:16:23,831 Okay. 377 00:16:26,211 --> 00:16:29,578 Dan, Danny, come over here. I want you to meet somebody. 378 00:16:29,615 --> 00:16:31,845 This is Jodi's new boyfriend. This is Larry David. 379 00:16:31,884 --> 00:16:33,715 - Hi, how are you? - How are you doing? 380 00:16:33,752 --> 00:16:36,153 - Have a good time. - Okay. 381 00:16:36,189 --> 00:16:37,986 Hey, by the way, you and Jodi... 382 00:16:38,024 --> 00:16:40,754 - fantastic, great news. - Yeah, yeah. 383 00:16:40,793 --> 00:16:42,522 - Pretty good. - Yes it is indeed. 384 00:16:42,562 --> 00:16:44,531 Pretty, pretty, 385 00:16:44,565 --> 00:16:47,193 pretty, pretty good. 386 00:16:48,369 --> 00:16:49,700 - Yeah. - Terrific. 387 00:16:49,737 --> 00:16:51,705 And to have to overcome 388 00:16:51,739 --> 00:16:53,707 the whole situation, 389 00:16:53,741 --> 00:16:55,471 the whole sexual thing, you know? 390 00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:58,411 Oh. Oh, there's nothing to overcome, really. 391 00:16:58,446 --> 00:17:01,381 Well, you know, the fact that she's been with women before you. 392 00:17:01,416 --> 00:17:04,716 - I know... - I'd be really intimidated by that, 393 00:17:04,754 --> 00:17:07,052 - because, you know, we really... - Intimidated? 394 00:17:07,089 --> 00:17:08,920 Well, because we don't know what we're doing 395 00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:11,153 as much as the women know. You know, it's their equipment. 396 00:17:11,193 --> 00:17:14,356 They own the equipment, so they know what to do with it. 397 00:17:14,397 --> 00:17:16,263 You know what's going on down there? 398 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:19,167 - I don't have any idea. - I'd like to think I do. 399 00:17:19,202 --> 00:17:22,865 That whole area is so mysterious to me, you know? 400 00:17:22,906 --> 00:17:25,432 - I'm just saying it's... - Well, I mean... 401 00:17:25,476 --> 00:17:27,603 I'd be intimidated, I know that. 402 00:17:31,616 --> 00:17:32,878 Yeah. 403 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:42,721 I always wondered, do you walk around in your bikini at home? 404 00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:45,697 The way he talks, you'd think that he's got... 405 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,791 Hey. I think I want to go home. 406 00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,802 Let's go home. 407 00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,531 No, we haven't even had dessert yet. 408 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,664 So what? We don't need dessert. Come on. 409 00:17:53,707 --> 00:17:55,437 Well, it's rude. You stay for dessert. 410 00:17:55,476 --> 00:17:57,876 - Then you can go. - So what, dessert? It's no big deal. 411 00:17:57,912 --> 00:18:01,575 - We can just go. Come on. - Why do you want to go home? 412 00:18:01,615 --> 00:18:03,742 I need to use the bathroom. 413 00:18:05,587 --> 00:18:07,987 - So go use the bathroom. - I don't want to use this bathroom. 414 00:18:08,023 --> 00:18:09,354 - I want my own... - Why? 415 00:18:09,391 --> 00:18:11,757 This project demands I get back to my base. 416 00:18:11,793 --> 00:18:13,658 I need my base. 417 00:18:13,695 --> 00:18:15,664 - We're not going home... - What's the matter? 418 00:18:15,698 --> 00:18:17,666 - Larry wants to go home... - What... 419 00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:19,600 to use the bathroom. It's like... 420 00:18:19,635 --> 00:18:21,728 Cheryl, you need to tell the whole table? 421 00:18:21,771 --> 00:18:24,171 - Why don't you make an announcement? - Hold on here. 422 00:18:24,207 --> 00:18:26,642 You've never done that with me at lunch? It's the craziest thing. 423 00:18:26,677 --> 00:18:29,475 It's ridiculous. He can use this bathroom. 424 00:18:29,513 --> 00:18:31,708 - That's what everybody... - You're a gentile. 425 00:18:31,749 --> 00:18:34,183 You'll go in the middle of Fifth Avenue. It's different for Jews. 426 00:18:34,218 --> 00:18:36,312 - No, you're at an affair. - What? 427 00:18:36,354 --> 00:18:38,754 You cannot leave an affair before the dessert is served. 428 00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:41,020 What is this dessert thing? We don't have to leave after. 429 00:18:41,059 --> 00:18:43,050 - We can leave before dessert. - Better to leave after. 430 00:18:43,094 --> 00:18:45,085 No, you do not leave before dessert. 431 00:18:45,130 --> 00:18:46,928 Who made this up? Where's this rule? 432 00:18:46,966 --> 00:18:49,560 Everybody here seems to know, but the rules don't apply to you? 433 00:18:49,602 --> 00:18:51,900 What am I supposed to do? Sit here for four hours 434 00:18:51,937 --> 00:18:53,529 and be uncomfortable? 435 00:18:53,572 --> 00:18:54,937 Should I go clean it for you before you go in there? 436 00:18:54,974 --> 00:18:57,102 - It's not even the cleanliness. - Okay, just go. 437 00:18:57,144 --> 00:18:59,874 We don't need to talk about your bathroom... 438 00:18:59,913 --> 00:19:02,040 - so just go. - You're the one who's telling everybody 439 00:19:02,082 --> 00:19:03,982 - in the whole place! - Just go! 440 00:19:21,670 --> 00:19:24,605 Hey, where do you think you're going, pal? What are you doing? 441 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,600 I'm going to the bathroom. 442 00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:31,011 - That's a handicapped stall. - We're waiting in line. 443 00:19:31,047 --> 00:19:33,777 I have a stutter, 444 00:19:33,817 --> 00:19:36,183 you pricks! 445 00:19:36,219 --> 00:19:38,882 Stutter my ass! That's for people who can't walk. 446 00:19:38,923 --> 00:19:41,448 Oh, all right, fine, okay. 447 00:19:41,492 --> 00:19:43,892 Oh, your stutter's gone, jackass! 448 00:19:43,928 --> 00:19:46,328 - Give me a fucking break, asshole. - Stupid ass. 449 00:19:47,599 --> 00:19:49,396 All right, that sounds good. 450 00:19:49,434 --> 00:19:52,062 All right, I'll see you in about 10-15 minutes. 451 00:19:52,104 --> 00:19:54,038 All right, great. Hey. 452 00:19:54,072 --> 00:19:56,540 - I'll see you in a few hours. - Huh? Few hours? 453 00:19:56,575 --> 00:19:57,941 - Yeah. - Where are you going? 454 00:19:57,977 --> 00:19:59,945 I'm meeting Julie. 455 00:19:59,979 --> 00:20:02,470 - Don't forget to take the dog out. - Hello. 456 00:20:02,515 --> 00:20:05,712 Out? What do you mean? Out for a walk or out with me? 457 00:20:05,751 --> 00:20:07,310 Hello, Mr. David. 458 00:20:07,354 --> 00:20:10,255 - This is Omar Jones. - Oh, hi. 459 00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:13,726 I gotta tell you, Mr. David, I was thinking about taking the case, 460 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,250 but I got a distressing call today 461 00:20:15,295 --> 00:20:17,321 about your behavior last night at the banquet. 462 00:20:17,365 --> 00:20:19,333 What are you talking about? 463 00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:21,198 According to one of the brothers, you said, 464 00:20:21,236 --> 00:20:23,363 "Keep it down." 465 00:20:23,404 --> 00:20:25,634 No no, all that happened was I was trying to order 466 00:20:25,673 --> 00:20:27,938 and I couldn't hear the waiter because some of your brothers 467 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,275 were making too much noise at the next table, that's all. 468 00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,712 How do you even know about this? 469 00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:35,444 We talk, Mr. David. We talk. 470 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:38,454 - Huh. - And what about my bathroom key? 471 00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:40,752 I'm really sorry about that. I'm returning it today, I promise. 472 00:20:40,790 --> 00:20:42,985 Well, like I said, I'm gonna have to think about it. 473 00:20:43,026 --> 00:20:45,460 Thank you. 474 00:20:55,239 --> 00:20:57,207 How was everything? 475 00:20:57,241 --> 00:20:58,766 - Pretty good. - Great. 476 00:20:58,810 --> 00:21:01,335 Do you want coffee, dessert, on the house? 477 00:21:01,380 --> 00:21:02,972 - On the house? - Yeah. 478 00:21:03,015 --> 00:21:05,745 I'll have a cupcake. 479 00:21:05,784 --> 00:21:07,752 - I'll take a dessert on the house. - Okay. 480 00:21:07,786 --> 00:21:10,915 - Fabulous. Thank you. - Are those new glasses? 481 00:21:10,957 --> 00:21:13,016 No, I just cleaned them. 482 00:21:13,059 --> 00:21:15,050 It's nice to have you back, Larry. 483 00:21:17,964 --> 00:21:21,093 You, my friend, are back in the lesbian bosom. 484 00:21:40,623 --> 00:21:42,386 Wow. 485 00:21:42,425 --> 00:21:44,916 - I'm back. - You are back. 486 00:21:44,961 --> 00:21:47,088 By the looks of things, better than ever. 487 00:21:48,264 --> 00:21:52,031 But what... I wonder what turned it around. 488 00:21:54,738 --> 00:21:57,935 Oh dear. Uh-oh. 489 00:21:57,975 --> 00:21:59,910 What? 490 00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:02,037 - What does Funkhouser want? - I don't know. 491 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,514 I'll be right back. How did he even know I was here? 492 00:22:08,052 --> 00:22:10,021 What did you say to Dan? 493 00:22:10,055 --> 00:22:12,615 What did l... hello, boy. 494 00:22:12,658 --> 00:22:15,286 - Did you meet Sheriff, my dog? - No, I didn't. 495 00:22:15,327 --> 00:22:18,785 I said, "Dan, this is Larry David." Then I left you. 496 00:22:18,831 --> 00:22:20,925 - And I said hi, I said hello. - Yeah, yeah. 497 00:22:20,967 --> 00:22:23,663 - I said, "Hi, Dan." - Yeah, what else? 498 00:22:23,703 --> 00:22:26,729 You know, a little small talk, "Hi, how are you doing? 499 00:22:26,773 --> 00:22:29,402 - Where are you from?" and all that. - That's it? 500 00:22:29,443 --> 00:22:31,343 And then, what did I say? I said, 501 00:22:31,379 --> 00:22:35,372 "It must be hard, as a guy, to follow..." 502 00:22:35,416 --> 00:22:38,385 Why didn't you just say, "Hello, I'm Larry. Nice to meet you"? 503 00:22:38,419 --> 00:22:40,479 I said that after hi. I said hi, then I said that. 504 00:22:40,522 --> 00:22:43,514 - What is wrong with you? - Problem? 505 00:22:43,558 --> 00:22:45,992 Yeah, problem. Now she's back with a woman. 506 00:22:47,596 --> 00:22:50,760 No wonder why they're all being so nice to me in there. 507 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,792 They're all smiling at me. Of course, it makes perfect sense. 508 00:22:53,836 --> 00:22:55,929 - I want to say something else. - Uh-huh. 509 00:22:55,972 --> 00:22:58,270 You left my party before dessert! 510 00:22:58,308 --> 00:23:00,277 How can you do that?! 511 00:23:00,311 --> 00:23:02,245 It's not proper etiquette! 512 00:23:02,279 --> 00:23:06,215 I don't subscribe to the wait-for-dessert rule 513 00:23:06,250 --> 00:23:07,547 before you can leave a party. 514 00:23:07,584 --> 00:23:10,782 Yeah, no one cares what you subscribe to, okay? 515 00:23:10,822 --> 00:23:14,053 We were trying to recreate what happened 25 years ago, 516 00:23:14,092 --> 00:23:17,425 and I said, "Larry, would you like to make a toast?" 517 00:23:17,462 --> 00:23:19,953 And someone said, "Larry went home to take a shit." 518 00:23:20,966 --> 00:23:22,627 Ah. 519 00:23:27,340 --> 00:23:29,865 You stay here. Okay, boy? 520 00:23:30,877 --> 00:23:32,469 You stay, Sheriff. 521 00:23:40,220 --> 00:23:42,781 - Hey! - Hey, Larry. 522 00:23:42,824 --> 00:23:44,587 - Hey, hi! - How are you? 523 00:23:44,625 --> 00:23:46,593 - Great. - Good to see you. 524 00:23:46,627 --> 00:23:48,595 Hey, by the way, I don't know 525 00:23:48,629 --> 00:23:52,225 if you heard anything about what's been going on... 526 00:23:52,267 --> 00:23:55,464 - Come on, I heard. I'm in the loop. - Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. 527 00:23:55,504 --> 00:23:57,472 It's all right, though. I don't think you should 528 00:23:57,506 --> 00:23:59,371 worry about it. Just... it's all good now. 529 00:23:59,408 --> 00:24:01,707 You know, what happened that day was 530 00:24:01,745 --> 00:24:03,679 I just got a little excited, but not... 531 00:24:03,713 --> 00:24:06,113 Hey hey hey hey, Larr. I stood up at the meeting, 532 00:24:06,149 --> 00:24:07,946 I told everybody, "I know the guy." 533 00:24:07,984 --> 00:24:09,645 I vouched for you. You're all right. 534 00:24:09,686 --> 00:24:12,383 - You're something, you know that? - Come on, come on! 535 00:24:12,423 --> 00:24:14,288 - It all worked out, right? - It's great. 536 00:24:14,325 --> 00:24:17,761 - She's happy, we're happy, you know? - Fantastic. 537 00:24:17,795 --> 00:24:20,787 She's back on the team. Everything's good. Don't even think about it. 538 00:24:20,831 --> 00:24:22,800 - Fantastic. - All right. 539 00:24:22,834 --> 00:24:24,096 - Hey. - Yeah. 540 00:24:24,136 --> 00:24:25,967 You know, we missed you at Funkhouser's party. 541 00:24:26,004 --> 00:24:28,199 The what? 542 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,401 Marty Funkhouser's 25th anniversary party. 543 00:24:30,442 --> 00:24:33,344 - Oh, Jodi's dad? - Yeah. 544 00:24:33,379 --> 00:24:35,745 Yeah, I don't really know him. No. 545 00:24:35,782 --> 00:24:39,411 - You weren't invited to that? - Nope, no no no. 546 00:24:39,452 --> 00:24:42,047 Was it good? Did you go? 547 00:24:42,089 --> 00:24:44,751 - Yeah, yeah, I went. - Yeah, it was good? 548 00:24:44,792 --> 00:24:46,692 And don't worry about that other thing. 549 00:24:46,727 --> 00:24:49,924 I just want you to know, gone, like it never happened. 550 00:24:49,963 --> 00:24:52,228 - Okay? Like it never happened. - Thanks, sweetheart. 551 00:24:52,267 --> 00:24:53,996 - All the lesbians love you. - Okay, love you. 552 00:24:54,035 --> 00:24:55,297 - I love you back. - Love you. 553 00:24:55,336 --> 00:24:57,566 I love you. Everyone loves you. All of us. 554 00:25:09,318 --> 00:25:10,876 You are a Muslim! 555 00:25:12,422 --> 00:25:14,413 Go, pray, pray. 556 00:25:20,564 --> 00:25:22,032 Let me ask you something. 557 00:25:22,066 --> 00:25:24,534 Are brothers and sisters a little overly sensitive 558 00:25:24,569 --> 00:25:26,332 to being told to keep it down? 559 00:25:26,370 --> 00:25:28,668 Because I know in the movies you guys tend to make 560 00:25:28,706 --> 00:25:30,799 a lot of noise sometimes. Am I right? 561 00:25:30,842 --> 00:25:34,210 'Cause that's kind of what happened at the party. 562 00:25:34,246 --> 00:25:36,214 What, did l... 563 00:25:36,248 --> 00:25:37,875 No, go back. 564 00:25:37,916 --> 00:25:40,578 Did I interrupt the praying? I'm sorry. 565 00:25:40,619 --> 00:25:42,815 - Don't worry about it. - All right. 566 00:25:42,856 --> 00:25:45,051 - Listen, Mr. David... - Look at the way you fold that up. 567 00:25:45,091 --> 00:25:46,683 It's like a yoga mat, huh? 568 00:25:46,726 --> 00:25:48,193 I just want you to know 569 00:25:48,228 --> 00:25:51,288 that Muslims are a very forgiving people. 570 00:25:51,331 --> 00:25:53,300 They are? 571 00:25:53,334 --> 00:25:56,235 - Yes we are. We're very forgiving. - Really? Huh. 572 00:25:56,270 --> 00:25:58,204 - Well, it's true. - There's a lot 573 00:25:58,239 --> 00:26:01,208 of meshugana Muslims, though, running around, are there not? 574 00:26:01,242 --> 00:26:03,473 Being that we are a forgiving people, I have decided 575 00:26:03,512 --> 00:26:05,503 to take on your case. 576 00:26:06,681 --> 00:26:09,878 But I'm gonna have to charge you 577 00:26:09,918 --> 00:26:12,148 a higher rate than I charge most people. 578 00:26:12,187 --> 00:26:14,713 Well, whatever you have to do. 579 00:26:14,757 --> 00:26:17,248 - You're gonna take the case? - I'm gonna take the case. 580 00:26:17,293 --> 00:26:19,056 - Thank you so much. - You're welcome. 581 00:26:19,095 --> 00:26:20,960 Do Muslims shake? 582 00:26:20,997 --> 00:26:22,989 - Yes, we do. - You do? 583 00:26:23,033 --> 00:26:24,500 - Yes, we do. - Great. 584 00:26:24,535 --> 00:26:26,503 To tell you the truth, 585 00:26:26,537 --> 00:26:28,505 I'm very excited about this. 586 00:26:28,539 --> 00:26:30,507 The whole adoption thing... 587 00:26:30,541 --> 00:26:32,873 I mean, this could be a huge thing for me. 588 00:26:32,910 --> 00:26:34,606 All right, Mr. David. 589 00:26:34,646 --> 00:26:36,580 Oh, guess what. 590 00:26:36,614 --> 00:26:38,582 Bathroom key. 591 00:26:38,616 --> 00:26:40,584 You know what? 592 00:26:40,618 --> 00:26:44,055 I gotta go again. I'm so sorry. 593 00:26:44,089 --> 00:26:46,319 All right. 594 00:27:11,052 --> 00:27:13,783 Well, looky here! 595 00:27:13,822 --> 00:27:16,120 Look what's doing here! 596 00:27:17,125 --> 00:27:20,060 Aren't you supposed to be in here? 597 00:27:20,095 --> 00:27:22,029 It seems to me you're using the wrong toilet. 598 00:27:22,064 --> 00:27:24,795 Somebody was in there. I had to use the normal one. 599 00:27:24,834 --> 00:27:26,802 Really? First of all, 600 00:27:26,836 --> 00:27:29,930 we don't like to be referred to as "normal," okay? 601 00:27:29,973 --> 00:27:33,238 We're "able-bodied." "Able-bodied," not "normal." 602 00:27:33,276 --> 00:27:35,142 That's like from the '80s. Who doesn't know that? 603 00:27:35,179 --> 00:27:37,909 I had to go to the bathroom. Somebody was in there. 604 00:27:37,948 --> 00:27:39,916 Well, then you wait. 605 00:27:39,950 --> 00:27:41,941 You wait. 606 00:27:51,496 --> 00:27:54,226 All right, Sheriff! 607 00:27:55,234 --> 00:27:57,759 Okay, good boy! Good boy. 608 00:27:57,803 --> 00:27:59,430 Mr. David. 609 00:27:59,472 --> 00:28:01,440 My bathroom key. 610 00:28:14,789 --> 00:28:15,983 Hey, nice dog. 611 00:28:16,024 --> 00:28:18,788 No, don't! 612 00:28:18,826 --> 00:28:22,023 I love dogs. I have a couple of my own. 613 00:28:23,731 --> 00:28:25,290 All right, just give me my key. 614 00:28:25,334 --> 00:28:27,029 Oh, I can't believe I forgot. 615 00:28:27,069 --> 00:28:29,902 Hopefully we won't have to keep going through the same thing. 616 00:28:29,938 --> 00:28:32,065 I'm sorry. Won't happen again. Won't happen again. 617 00:28:33,676 --> 00:28:36,441 - Nice dog. - Thank you. Good to see you. 618 00:28:37,447 --> 00:28:39,415 Hey! 619 00:28:39,449 --> 00:28:42,111 Good boy, good boy! Yeah! 620 00:28:42,152 --> 00:28:43,779 Oh, look! 621 00:28:43,820 --> 00:28:45,584 You got yourself a doggie! 622 00:28:50,194 --> 00:28:52,185 Sorry. 47770

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.