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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:04,067 (Woman) Now get along with you. Get along with you! 2 00:01:04,068 --> 00:01:07,467 A spell in the New World will do you a power of good. 3 00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:11,987 You'll be far from the temptations of London's theatrical life. 4 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:16,147 Your mother is very disappointed in you, Cyril. 5 00:01:16,148 --> 00:01:20,907 This last episode, in joining a company of acrobats, was really the last straw. 6 00:01:22,108 --> 00:01:26,587 Now, Cyril, take this letter to my nephew in New York. 7 00:01:26,588 --> 00:01:29,547 He will look out for your interests. 8 00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:34,307 Bertie will help you to find a good, steady job. 9 00:01:49,268 --> 00:01:50,707 ''Dear Bertie, 10 00:01:50,708 --> 00:01:54,307 ''This is to introduce Cyril Bassington-Bassington. 11 00:01:54,308 --> 00:01:59,067 ''At all costs, ensure he does not come into contact with theatrical circles.'' 12 00:02:17,908 --> 00:02:22,667 (Bertie) Sorry. 13 00:02:25,308 --> 00:02:28,907 Sorry. 14 00:02:28,908 --> 00:02:32,747 - Sorry. - Well, you're allowed to blink, you know. 15 00:02:32,748 --> 00:02:35,787 Oh, really? 16 00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:38,747 Oh, l wish you'd relax, Bertie. 17 00:02:38,748 --> 00:02:43,267 - What do you mean, relax? - Move your lips when you speak. 18 00:02:43,268 --> 00:02:45,507 Won't it come out blurred? 19 00:02:45,508 --> 00:02:46,667 (Sighs) 20 00:02:46,668 --> 00:02:50,627 Well, that's enough for today, anyway. 21 00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,987 l say, dashed exhausting, this. 22 00:02:52,988 --> 00:02:57,387 - (Knocking at door) - That'll be Muriel. 23 00:02:57,388 --> 00:03:01,467 l might give this to my Aunt Agatha. She thinks l do nothing in New York. 24 00:03:01,468 --> 00:03:03,787 Are you ready to come to rehearsal yet? 25 00:03:03,788 --> 00:03:06,467 Bertie, this is Miss Singer. 26 00:03:06,468 --> 00:03:09,227 lt would be wonderful if you could help us, Mr Wooster. 27 00:03:09,228 --> 00:03:11,307 Oh. How do you do? 28 00:03:11,308 --> 00:03:15,267 This is George Caffyn. George writes plays and that sort of thing. 29 00:03:15,268 --> 00:03:18,227 - Hello. - Muriel and l are engaged. 30 00:03:18,228 --> 00:03:19,987 What about your uncle? 31 00:03:19,988 --> 00:03:24,747 - My uncle will just have to lump it. - Corky's just being brave, Mr Wooster. 32 00:03:25,028 --> 00:03:27,987 l'm sure he'll see you're perfect for Corky. 33 00:03:27,988 --> 00:03:32,747 No. All he'll consider is that l've taken an important step without his advice. 34 00:03:33,308 --> 00:03:35,227 - He'll cut my allowance, - (Whimpers) 35 00:03:35,228 --> 00:03:38,107 and try to force me to go into the jute business again. 36 00:03:38,108 --> 00:03:42,867 - Jute, eh? Oh, yes, l see, l see. - Bertie, are we going to rehearsal? 37 00:03:43,148 --> 00:03:45,267 Yes, right. Look, l tell you what. 38 00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:48,987 l promise you l'll give this matter my best attention. 39 00:03:48,988 --> 00:03:53,747 lt would be wonderful if you could think of something, Mr Wooster. 40 00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:59,027 Right. 41 00:04:01,748 --> 00:04:06,507 ? What a wonderful smile, do you hear the bells ring, dear? 42 00:04:06,628 --> 00:04:11,387 ? lt's the promise of spring, dear, you're just in love 43 00:04:13,348 --> 00:04:18,107 ? What a wonderful mood, couldn't buy it with money 44 00:04:18,428 --> 00:04:21,787 ? Bet you'll say it with honey when you're just in 45 00:04:21,788 --> 00:04:26,547 ? You're just, you're just in love 46 00:04:29,428 --> 00:04:32,547 ? You're just in love ? 47 00:04:32,548 --> 00:04:37,147 Good. We need to pick it up from the bridge a little, but it's coming along fine. 48 00:04:37,148 --> 00:04:40,627 This is where the butler tells you the house is on fire. 49 00:04:40,628 --> 00:04:43,787 So, blah, blah, blah, panic, panic. Off you all go. 50 00:04:43,788 --> 00:04:46,227 - You want to take over, Herman? - Thank you. 51 00:04:46,228 --> 00:04:49,147 - Well, what do you think? - Terrific. l love the song. 52 00:04:49,148 --> 00:04:52,867 We haven't cast the part of the butler. You wouldn't want to play it? 53 00:04:52,868 --> 00:04:55,427 No, l'm a complete fool at that sort of thing. 54 00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:58,907 lt's a small part, but we're looking for an Englishman to play it. 55 00:04:58,908 --> 00:05:03,667 No, l played Brutus at school once, and l was the one everybody stabbed. 56 00:05:09,548 --> 00:05:11,307 Thank you, Jeeves. Now, Jeeves, 57 00:05:11,308 --> 00:05:14,507 l'm going to see Corky's uncle, who's in the jute business. 58 00:05:14,508 --> 00:05:17,467 To tell you the truth, l'm a bit foggy on what jute is. 59 00:05:17,468 --> 00:05:20,147 lt's something the populace is pretty keen on, 60 00:05:20,148 --> 00:05:23,507 because Corky's uncle has made a hefty stack out of it. 61 00:05:23,508 --> 00:05:27,547 Jute is a fibre from the bark of the plant Corchorus capsularis, sir. 62 00:05:27,548 --> 00:05:32,307 lt is imported from Bengal, and used in the making of canvas or gunny. 63 00:05:32,748 --> 00:05:37,467 Canvas or gunny. Yes, that's made things pretty clear, Jeeves. Thank you. 64 00:05:37,468 --> 00:05:41,267 - Will that be all, sir? - Yes, that'll be all, thank you, Jeeves. 65 00:05:41,268 --> 00:05:43,067 - Oh, Jeeves. - Sir? 66 00:05:43,068 --> 00:05:45,107 This gunny stuff. 67 00:05:45,108 --> 00:05:49,547 l mean, l know about canvas, but gunny seems to have slipped my mind. 68 00:05:49,548 --> 00:05:53,827 Gunny is a coarse material, chiefly used for sacking, sir. 69 00:05:53,828 --> 00:05:57,467 Ah. Right, of course. Sacking, gunny. Gunny, sacking. 70 00:05:57,468 --> 00:06:02,227 Thank you, Jeeves. 71 00:06:04,268 --> 00:06:08,707 Mr Wooster, sir. 72 00:06:08,708 --> 00:06:12,547 Ah, Mr Wooster. Welcome to our country. 73 00:06:12,548 --> 00:06:16,107 Ah, right. Well, thanks awfully. 74 00:06:16,108 --> 00:06:20,867 Please, sit down, Mr Wooster. 75 00:06:21,628 --> 00:06:25,227 lt's always a pleasure to meet another jute man. 76 00:06:25,228 --> 00:06:28,427 l love jute. 77 00:06:28,428 --> 00:06:33,187 You see this model of a yellow-bellied sapsucker? Made entirely from jute. 78 00:06:33,388 --> 00:06:35,347 Good Lord! 79 00:06:35,348 --> 00:06:38,707 This entire edifice you see around you. 80 00:06:38,708 --> 00:06:43,467 - Built on jute. - Really? 81 00:06:43,748 --> 00:06:46,067 Pretty useful stuff, then. 82 00:06:46,068 --> 00:06:50,707 - Frankly, l'm surprised to see you here. - Oh? Well, the thing is... 83 00:06:50,708 --> 00:06:53,787 You British usually import directly from lndia. 84 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,427 Yes, generally speaking, we do. We import... 85 00:06:56,428 --> 00:07:00,707 Don't get me wrong. l can supply you with a thousand bales a week, 86 00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:03,467 360 a bale, FOB. 87 00:07:03,468 --> 00:07:07,187 FOB? l don't think we want any of that, no. 88 00:07:07,188 --> 00:07:11,307 You're in the manufacturing line, aren't you? Animal feed bagging? 89 00:07:11,308 --> 00:07:13,307 Ah, yes, that's right, yes. 90 00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:17,027 Dog biscuits, cat...erm...things. 91 00:07:17,028 --> 00:07:20,987 Erm...sacking, sacking. 92 00:07:20,988 --> 00:07:24,907 All sorts of sacking. And sack races, of course. 93 00:07:24,908 --> 00:07:26,747 Sack...races? 94 00:07:26,748 --> 00:07:29,667 Yes, er...that's...that's our main line. 95 00:07:29,668 --> 00:07:32,867 Um... And we're right at the start of the sack race season now. 96 00:07:32,868 --> 00:07:36,347 - So we're snowed under at the moment. - Mr Wooster... 97 00:07:36,348 --> 00:07:39,347 Mr Worple, do you ever think about love? 98 00:07:39,348 --> 00:07:42,107 Do...l... 99 00:07:42,108 --> 00:07:45,027 - Raising a family? - Are we talking about jute? 100 00:07:45,028 --> 00:07:49,787 The patter of tiny feet. The...erm... 101 00:07:50,628 --> 00:07:55,387 Right, well...thank you. We'll be letting you know. 102 00:08:03,988 --> 00:08:08,347 Yes, well, he's not the easiest of chaps to get along with, l imagine. 103 00:08:08,348 --> 00:08:10,187 But l'd say he was impressed. 104 00:08:10,188 --> 00:08:12,987 What did he say about us getting engaged? 105 00:08:12,988 --> 00:08:15,187 - l didn't mention that. - What? 106 00:08:15,188 --> 00:08:18,907 For a good reason. The whole thing suddenly became clear to me. 107 00:08:18,908 --> 00:08:22,787 All you do is work it so your uncle makes Miss Singer's acquaintance 108 00:08:22,788 --> 00:08:24,867 without his knowing that you know her. 109 00:08:24,868 --> 00:08:28,267 - Then you come along... - How can we make it work that way? 110 00:08:28,268 --> 00:08:30,707 Ah, yes, well, that's the catch. 111 00:08:30,708 --> 00:08:34,787 There's only one thing to do. Leave it to Jeeves. Now, let's get a cab. 112 00:08:34,788 --> 00:08:39,547 Taxi! 113 00:08:39,548 --> 00:08:42,067 Ah. Now, Jeeves, we want your advice. 114 00:08:42,068 --> 00:08:44,827 Very good, sir. Good morning, Miss, Mr Corcoran. 115 00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:47,187 Miss Singer, Mr Corcoran's fianc�e. 116 00:08:47,188 --> 00:08:50,747 l hope you'll be very happy, Miss Singer. Congratulations. 117 00:08:50,748 --> 00:08:54,587 Yes, yes, yes, Jeeves. Now, the difficulty is that Mr Corcoran's uncle, 118 00:08:54,588 --> 00:08:58,387 being accustomed to working with canvas, which doesn't answer back, 119 00:08:58,388 --> 00:09:01,547 doesn't like Mr Corcoran doing anything without asking. 120 00:09:01,548 --> 00:09:04,667 He won't like Corky getting engaged. Which he has. 121 00:09:04,668 --> 00:09:06,627 - To Miss Singer. - Quite, sir. 122 00:09:06,628 --> 00:09:11,387 So, my thought was, if Mr Worple made Miss Singer's acquaintance first, 123 00:09:11,588 --> 00:09:16,347 or what he thinks is first, and then along comes old Corky, a newcomer... 124 00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:20,467 l understand, sir. l do have an idea which l believe fits the bill. 125 00:09:20,468 --> 00:09:22,827 Good Lord, Jeeves! 126 00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:27,587 The scheme l have, sir, while certain of success, does require a financial outlay. 127 00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:31,787 (Sobbing) 128 00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:36,027 Oh, now, look here, Miss Singer. Don't start crying, for heaven's sake. 129 00:09:36,028 --> 00:09:38,707 Corky, you can count on me for all that. 130 00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:41,587 - Carry on, Jeeves. - Thank you, sir. 131 00:09:41,588 --> 00:09:46,347 l suggest Mr Corcoran take advantage of Mr Worple's attachment to ornithology. 132 00:09:46,708 --> 00:09:49,387 How did you know my uncle was interested in birds? 133 00:09:49,388 --> 00:09:52,187 l read with great pleasure Mr Worple's two books, 134 00:09:52,188 --> 00:09:55,347 American Birds and More American Birds. 135 00:09:55,348 --> 00:09:58,827 l was going to suggest that Miss Singer write a small volume, 136 00:09:58,828 --> 00:10:02,707 entitled, let us say, The Children's Book Of American Birds, 137 00:10:02,708 --> 00:10:05,587 and that she dedicate it to Mr Worple. 138 00:10:05,588 --> 00:10:08,267 A limited edition at your expense, sir. 139 00:10:08,268 --> 00:10:10,547 l don't see how that's going to help. 140 00:10:10,548 --> 00:10:13,987 A great deal of the book will be given over to eulogistic remarks 141 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,627 concerning Mr Worple's own treatise, sir. 142 00:10:16,628 --> 00:10:20,787 And l would recommend the dispatching of a presentation copy to Mr Worple 143 00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,507 immediately on publication. 144 00:10:22,508 --> 00:10:25,147 - l can't write a book. - Oh, yes, you can. 145 00:10:25,148 --> 00:10:27,987 l don't even write interesting letters. 146 00:10:27,988 --> 00:10:31,187 lt would be simple to find some impecunious writer, 147 00:10:31,188 --> 00:10:35,227 who would be only too glad to compose the volume for a small fee. 148 00:10:35,228 --> 00:10:39,987 lt is only necessary that the young lady's name appear on the title page, sir. 149 00:10:40,468 --> 00:10:44,867 Couldn't you do it, Mr Jeeves? l'm sure you could. 150 00:10:44,868 --> 00:10:48,547 You seem to know so much and you talk so nicely. 151 00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:53,307 - l hardly think... - You could, you know, Jeeves. 152 00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:11,387 (Tyres squealing) 153 00:11:11,388 --> 00:11:13,707 You don't believe in stop lights? 154 00:11:13,708 --> 00:11:16,987 l say, look here! 155 00:11:16,988 --> 00:11:18,907 (Jeeves) Very good, sir. 156 00:11:18,908 --> 00:11:22,227 l'll do that, sir. 157 00:11:22,228 --> 00:11:26,067 l shall inform Mr Wooster, sir. Goodbye. 158 00:11:26,068 --> 00:11:30,467 - Well, Jeeves? - A Mr Cyril Bassington-Bassington, sir. 159 00:11:30,468 --> 00:11:32,427 Never heard of him. 160 00:11:32,428 --> 00:11:35,427 He was telephoning from a police station, sir. 161 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:39,827 He was requesting for you to go round and bail him out. 162 00:11:39,828 --> 00:11:43,307 Of all the dashed nerve! Fellows phone you out of the blue and... 163 00:11:43,308 --> 00:11:47,267 Well, never mind. Look, you leave all this to Jeeves and me, all right. 164 00:11:47,268 --> 00:11:51,387 Jeeves will get writing and l'll... Well, l'll do everything else. 165 00:11:51,388 --> 00:11:56,147 - Wonderful. - Pip pip. 166 00:11:57,068 --> 00:12:00,427 Yes, nice girl, that, Corky's found himself, what? 167 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,467 Very charming, sir. 168 00:12:02,468 --> 00:12:05,347 Now, this fellow who phoned up from chokey. 169 00:12:05,348 --> 00:12:08,467 - A Mr Bassington-Bassington, sir. - You've heard of him? 170 00:12:08,468 --> 00:12:13,227 l am familiar with the name, sir. There are the Shropshire Bassington-Bassingtons, 171 00:12:13,228 --> 00:12:17,427 the Hampshire Bassington-Bassingtons and the Kent Bassington-Bassingtons. 172 00:12:17,428 --> 00:12:20,827 So the world's stocked up on Bassington-Bassingtons, then? 173 00:12:20,828 --> 00:12:24,307 - Tolerably so, sir. - No chance of a sudden shortage! 174 00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:29,067 Presumably not, sir. Apparently, he is a prot�g� of Mrs Gregson's, sir. 175 00:12:29,228 --> 00:12:33,987 What? Aunt Agatha? 176 00:12:43,148 --> 00:12:44,987 How long has he been in New York? 177 00:12:44,988 --> 00:12:49,747 - He arrived this morning, sir. - What is Aunt Agatha going to say? 178 00:12:50,828 --> 00:12:53,587 Ah. What ho, Cyril. l got your message. 179 00:12:53,588 --> 00:12:55,947 - Are you Bertie Wooster? - Absolutely. 180 00:12:55,948 --> 00:12:59,507 - Mrs Gregson said you'd look after me. - Oh, did she? 181 00:12:59,508 --> 00:13:03,387 - This is my man, Jeeves. - What ho, Jeeves. Rotten country! 182 00:13:03,388 --> 00:13:07,787 - Oh, l don't know, don't you know? - Why don't the police dress properly? 183 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:12,307 Why don't they wear helmets? They look like postmen. Dashed confusing. 184 00:13:12,308 --> 00:13:16,187 l was rambling along, and this fellow prodded me with a stick, 185 00:13:16,188 --> 00:13:18,027 burbling about jaywalking. 186 00:13:18,028 --> 00:13:22,147 l don't see why a fellow should come 3,000 miles to be burbled at. 187 00:13:22,148 --> 00:13:24,827 - So what did you do? - l prodded him back. 188 00:13:24,828 --> 00:13:29,227 Then he biffed me in the eye and lugged me off. Still, that's all sorted out now. 189 00:13:29,228 --> 00:13:33,747 You know, what l'd really like to do while l'm here is see lots and lots of shows. 190 00:13:33,748 --> 00:13:36,827 - Keen on the theatre, are you? - Oh, l'll say! 191 00:13:36,828 --> 00:13:40,107 Why don't l drop you off at a pal of mine's rehearsals, he won't mind. 192 00:13:40,108 --> 00:13:44,107 l'd really like that. 193 00:13:44,108 --> 00:13:47,507 ? ..in love 194 00:13:47,508 --> 00:13:52,267 ? What a wonderful mood, couldn't buy it with money 195 00:13:52,548 --> 00:13:56,067 ? Bet you'll say it with honey when you're just in 196 00:13:56,068 --> 00:14:00,827 ? You're just, you're just in love 197 00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:06,827 ? You're just in love ? 198 00:14:06,828 --> 00:14:11,587 (Rapid typing) 199 00:14:12,628 --> 00:14:16,267 Should any of you children be lucky enough to visit California, 200 00:14:16,268 --> 00:14:20,547 you may catch a glimpse of the acrobatic little Mexican chickadee. 201 00:14:20,548 --> 00:14:24,187 You will learn much more about this rascal when you are grown-up 202 00:14:24,188 --> 00:14:28,947 and read Mr Alexander Worple's wonderful book, American Birds. 203 00:14:31,388 --> 00:14:34,227 ? Ask Dad, ask Dad 204 00:14:34,228 --> 00:14:36,587 ? That's all they ever say 205 00:14:36,588 --> 00:14:39,187 ? Ask Dad, ask Dad 206 00:14:39,188 --> 00:14:42,027 ? They take your breath away 207 00:14:42,028 --> 00:14:46,467 ? Never seems to flurry them, old Pop's the perfect backup 208 00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:51,227 ? Doesn't seem to worry them that Daddy's due a crackup ? 209 00:14:52,348 --> 00:14:56,867 This is from George's show. You know Freddie Flowerdew's come to star in it? 210 00:14:56,868 --> 00:14:59,667 No, sir. That intelligence had passed me by. 211 00:14:59,668 --> 00:15:01,547 lt's his first American musical. 212 00:15:01,548 --> 00:15:05,627 Anyway, this is the opening number. He's got all these daughters, you see. 213 00:15:05,628 --> 00:15:08,627 - ln the show, that is. - l understand, sir. 214 00:15:08,628 --> 00:15:12,987 The trouble is, the song is written for Freddie and a chorus of girls. 215 00:15:12,988 --> 00:15:17,747 lt's all marked here. Wherever it says two big Fs, that's for Freddie Flowerdew. 216 00:15:18,468 --> 00:15:21,307 Not quite sure what the little fs are for. 217 00:15:21,308 --> 00:15:25,427 Possibly they indicate fortissimo, sir. 218 00:15:25,428 --> 00:15:28,067 Possibly, Jeeves, possibly. Anyway... 219 00:15:28,068 --> 00:15:31,347 To do the thing justice, l've got to approximate a chorus, 220 00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:35,227 so if you join in on all the bits that are not marked with a big FF. 221 00:15:35,228 --> 00:15:37,787 l'll do those, we can do the chorus together. 222 00:15:37,788 --> 00:15:42,547 - l shan't be required to sing falsetto, sir? - Falsetto, Jeeves? 223 00:15:42,628 --> 00:15:45,867 lf l am to sound like a chorus of ladies. 224 00:15:45,868 --> 00:15:49,427 Might do the trick. Let's try it. We'll do the first verse again. 225 00:15:49,428 --> 00:15:54,187 Very good, sir. (Clears throat) 226 00:15:54,508 --> 00:15:57,667 (Falsetto) ? Ask Dad, ask Dad 227 00:15:57,668 --> 00:15:59,867 (Baritone) ? That's all they ever say 228 00:15:59,868 --> 00:16:02,147 (Falsetto) ? Ask Dad, ask Dad 229 00:16:02,148 --> 00:16:05,107 (Baritone) ? They take your breath away 230 00:16:05,108 --> 00:16:06,867 ? Never seems to flurry them 231 00:16:06,868 --> 00:16:10,267 (Falsetto) ? Old Pop's the perfect backup 232 00:16:10,268 --> 00:16:15,027 (Baritone) ? Doesn't seem to worry them that Daddy's due a crackup ? 233 00:16:15,988 --> 00:16:20,547 - l don't think so, Jeeves. Do you? - lt does strain the laryngeal region. 234 00:16:20,548 --> 00:16:23,187 Excuse me, ladies. The house is on fire. 235 00:16:23,188 --> 00:16:26,667 - What? - lt's all right. lt's my line from the show. 236 00:16:26,668 --> 00:16:29,347 - Show? - Your friend George gave me a part. 237 00:16:29,348 --> 00:16:31,827 - Oh, Cyril, that's terrific. - lsn't it? 238 00:16:31,828 --> 00:16:34,347 We carry on rehearsing for a couple of weeks, 239 00:16:34,348 --> 00:16:38,267 and then we go on the road until we find a Broadway theatre that will take us. 240 00:16:38,268 --> 00:16:40,307 You've landed on your feet! 241 00:16:40,308 --> 00:16:42,867 lt's only a small part, but it's pivotal. 242 00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:46,347 Of course, what l really want to do is films. 243 00:16:46,348 --> 00:16:49,907 Everybody says l've got the profile for it. 244 00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:54,667 ? What a wonderful mood, couldn't buy it with money 245 00:16:54,788 --> 00:16:58,587 ? Bet you'll say it with honey when you're just in 246 00:16:58,588 --> 00:17:03,347 ? You're just, you're just in love ? 247 00:17:04,668 --> 00:17:06,907 Excuse me, ladies, the house is on fire. 248 00:17:06,908 --> 00:17:10,747 (Screaming) 249 00:17:10,748 --> 00:17:13,267 l wonder if that line's quite right, George. 250 00:17:13,268 --> 00:17:16,027 Wouldn't he say something more like, 251 00:17:16,028 --> 00:17:20,787 ''lf you'll pardon me mentioning it, ladies, the house is on fire.'' Hmm? 252 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:26,467 Oh, that's fine, Cyril, if you'd be more comfortable with it. 253 00:17:30,028 --> 00:17:34,787 ''As Mr Alexander Worple says in his famous book, More American Birds, 254 00:17:35,068 --> 00:17:39,827 ''lf you see a sanderling spinning round in the water like a top, it's a phalarope. 255 00:17:40,028 --> 00:17:43,867 ''You see, children, phalaropes do look very like sanderlings, 256 00:17:43,868 --> 00:17:47,507 ''but they're famous for spinning round and round in the water. 257 00:17:47,508 --> 00:17:50,227 ''This is a picture of the Northern phalarope. 258 00:17:50,228 --> 00:17:54,627 ''lsn't he a handsome little fellow?'' 259 00:17:54,628 --> 00:17:57,187 (Bertie) l say, it's rather grand, isn't it? 260 00:17:57,188 --> 00:17:59,987 - What do you think, Jeeves? - Very handsome, sir. 261 00:17:59,988 --> 00:18:01,347 Your masterpiece. 262 00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:06,107 We sent a copy off to Uncle Alexander, and Muriel's had a reply already. 263 00:18:07,148 --> 00:18:11,387 Read them the letter, Muriel. 264 00:18:11,388 --> 00:18:14,867 ''Dear Miss Singer, thank you for your charming letter, 265 00:18:14,868 --> 00:18:18,507 ''and what a good book A Children's Book Of American Birds is. 266 00:18:18,508 --> 00:18:22,307 ''Of course, l should be delighted to meet you at any time. 267 00:18:22,308 --> 00:18:24,827 ''l would tentatively suggest the 25th. 268 00:18:24,828 --> 00:18:28,747 ''Yours sincerely,'' tsss! ''Alexander Worple.'' 269 00:18:28,748 --> 00:18:31,787 - How about that? - Worked like a charm, eh, Jeeves? 270 00:18:31,788 --> 00:18:36,547 Extremely gratifying, sir. 271 00:18:47,188 --> 00:18:51,947 Here we are at The Worple Towers, ma'am. 272 00:19:29,028 --> 00:19:32,827 Georgie Caffyn has asked me to tag along with the tour of Ask Dad, 273 00:19:32,828 --> 00:19:34,747 as a sort of unbiased observer, 274 00:19:34,748 --> 00:19:37,827 so l thought l might go and see a bit of this great country. 275 00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:39,867 An excellent idea, sir. 276 00:19:39,868 --> 00:19:42,507 l'll be able to keep an eye on Bassington-Bassington. 277 00:19:42,508 --> 00:19:45,187 l'm sure Mrs Gregson will be most grateful, sir. 278 00:19:45,188 --> 00:19:49,627 Yes. Probably show it in the usual manner, a kick in the teeth for Bertram. 279 00:19:49,628 --> 00:19:51,147 Still, there you are. 280 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:54,267 The train leaves from Grand Central tomorrow morning. 281 00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:56,267 Very good, sir. Good night, sir. 282 00:19:56,268 --> 00:20:01,027 Good night, Jeeves. 283 00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:06,027 (Applause) 284 00:20:22,468 --> 00:20:26,627 Pardon me for mentioning it, ladies, but the house is on fire. 285 00:20:26,628 --> 00:20:31,387 (Laughter) 286 00:20:32,228 --> 00:20:34,547 (Bertie) ''We're off on our travels, Jeeves. 287 00:20:34,548 --> 00:20:39,187 ''Tricky business, what they call hunting in these parts. They do it without horses. 288 00:20:39,188 --> 00:20:41,747 ''l managed to wing a forest ranger. 289 00:20:41,748 --> 00:20:46,507 ''The show's a sellout everywhere. My log cabin marked with an X.'' 290 00:20:52,148 --> 00:20:56,427 (Confidently) Pardon me for mentioning it, ladies, but the house is on fire. 291 00:20:56,428 --> 00:20:58,627 ''Westward, ever westward, Jeeves. 292 00:20:58,628 --> 00:21:01,987 ''We're all having a whale of a time, especially Cyril. 293 00:21:01,988 --> 00:21:06,747 ''My sleeping car marked with an X.'' 294 00:21:19,188 --> 00:21:21,027 ''Show doing famously, Jeeves. 295 00:21:21,028 --> 00:21:23,667 ''The horses out here are rather excitable. 296 00:21:23,668 --> 00:21:25,707 ''The local lads are pretty excitable, too. 297 00:21:25,708 --> 00:21:28,907 ''l've had to buy new clothes, but l'm sure you'll approve. 298 00:21:28,908 --> 00:21:33,667 ''My bunkhouse marked with an X.'' 299 00:21:42,788 --> 00:21:47,547 (Emphatically) Pardon me for mentioning it, ladies, but the house is on fire. 300 00:21:49,508 --> 00:21:51,827 ''This card shows the Rockies, Jeeves. 301 00:21:51,828 --> 00:21:55,267 ''They're mountains, as you can see. Dashed rocky they are, too. 302 00:21:55,268 --> 00:21:59,587 ''My rock marked with an X.'' 303 00:21:59,588 --> 00:22:04,347 ''This is the life, Jeeves. Not a fish in sight and boots filling with iced water. 304 00:22:04,628 --> 00:22:06,787 ''l did catch a couple of trout. 305 00:22:06,788 --> 00:22:09,027 ''One of them looked like Oofy Prosser. 306 00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:11,787 ''Don't suppose the Oofys hail from Montana? 307 00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:16,187 ''My tepee marked with an X.'' 308 00:22:16,188 --> 00:22:20,347 ''l've now seen Ask Dad six billion and blasted two times, Jeeves. 309 00:22:20,348 --> 00:22:22,227 ''Or is it six billion and blasted three? 310 00:22:22,228 --> 00:22:25,827 ''Still no blasted sign of a blasted Broadway theatre. 311 00:22:25,828 --> 00:22:30,587 ''My seat in the blasted orchestra stalls marked with a blasted X.'' 312 00:22:31,708 --> 00:22:36,467 (Floridly) lf you'll pardon me mentioning it, ladies, the house is on fire. 313 00:22:36,828 --> 00:22:40,547 ''PS, l might leave the show and totter home soon.'' 314 00:22:40,548 --> 00:22:45,307 ? Ask Dad ? 315 00:22:46,148 --> 00:22:49,227 (Bell) 316 00:22:49,228 --> 00:22:51,747 Well, how have things been in the big city? 317 00:22:51,748 --> 00:22:56,507 Oh, we managed to get along pretty good. 318 00:22:58,428 --> 00:23:00,587 You ain't by any chance been out West? 319 00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:04,227 Yes, as a matter of fact, l have. Where men are men, you know. 320 00:23:04,228 --> 00:23:06,227 l've heard tell. 321 00:23:06,228 --> 00:23:10,107 - You shoot any lndians? - No, no. 322 00:23:10,108 --> 00:23:12,587 Ah, Jeeves. What ho. 323 00:23:12,588 --> 00:23:14,787 Good afternoon, sir. 324 00:23:14,788 --> 00:23:17,307 lt really is extraordinary, Jeeves. 325 00:23:17,308 --> 00:23:19,587 Almost like coming home. 326 00:23:19,588 --> 00:23:22,547 So, what's been happening while l've been away? 327 00:23:22,548 --> 00:23:25,307 lt has been very quiet. 328 00:23:25,308 --> 00:23:28,627 Well, what do you think? 329 00:23:28,628 --> 00:23:32,667 l only hope the poor creature died a peaceful death, sir. 330 00:23:32,668 --> 00:23:35,387 What? Oh, the coat. Rather snazzy, isn't it? 331 00:23:35,388 --> 00:23:38,507 l was referring to the moustache, the old soup strainer. 332 00:23:38,508 --> 00:23:41,547 - Very striking, sir. - Rather Ronald Colman. 333 00:23:41,548 --> 00:23:44,867 Lord Kitchener sprang to mind on first sighting, sir. 334 00:23:44,868 --> 00:23:47,467 l shall do what l like with my own upper lip. 335 00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:50,747 lndeed, sir. Will you be dining in this evening, sir? 336 00:23:50,748 --> 00:23:52,947 No. No, l shall go out to dine, Jeeves, 337 00:23:52,948 --> 00:23:57,707 and astound the natives with my mustachios! 338 00:24:05,508 --> 00:24:07,907 Well, well, well, well, what! 339 00:24:07,908 --> 00:24:10,827 Why, Mr Wooster, how are you? 340 00:24:10,828 --> 00:24:13,547 And how are you, Miss Singer? Corky around? 341 00:24:13,548 --> 00:24:15,467 l beg your pardon? 342 00:24:15,468 --> 00:24:19,467 - You're waiting for Corky, aren't you? - Oh, l didn't understand. 343 00:24:19,468 --> 00:24:22,547 - No, l'm not waiting for him. - Oh. 344 00:24:22,548 --> 00:24:26,267 - You haven't had a row? - l don't understand. 345 00:24:26,268 --> 00:24:29,867 l thought you usually dined with him before you went to the theatre. 346 00:24:29,868 --> 00:24:34,107 Oh, no. (Laughs ) l've left the stage. 347 00:24:34,108 --> 00:24:37,387 - Of course. You must be married now. - Mm, yes. 348 00:24:37,388 --> 00:24:40,147 Dashed good. l wish you all sorts of happiness. 349 00:24:40,148 --> 00:24:44,267 - Thank you very much. l'd like to... - And the old devil himself. 350 00:24:44,268 --> 00:24:48,307 Really put one over on the uncle, eh? Thanks to Jeeves's masterpiece. 351 00:24:48,308 --> 00:24:51,907 Alexander, this is a friend of mine, Mr Wooster. 352 00:24:51,908 --> 00:24:56,667 Mr Wooster, l'd like you to meet my husband, Mr Worple. 353 00:24:56,668 --> 00:25:01,187 - Husband? What rot! - Alexander and l are married. 354 00:25:01,188 --> 00:25:03,467 What uncle? Whose uncle? 355 00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:05,027 Uncle? 356 00:25:05,028 --> 00:25:07,707 Something about putting one over on the uncle. 357 00:25:07,708 --> 00:25:10,747 No, no, no, no. No. 358 00:25:10,748 --> 00:25:12,667 l was just telling Miss Singer, 359 00:25:12,668 --> 00:25:15,387 that is to say, Mrs Worple, 360 00:25:15,388 --> 00:25:17,547 about an accident l had. 361 00:25:17,548 --> 00:25:20,227 l fell over on my...carbuncle. 362 00:25:20,228 --> 00:25:22,067 - Carbuncle? - Yes. 363 00:25:22,068 --> 00:25:26,107 - Really quite painful. - Wait a minute. We've met before. 364 00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:28,347 - No. - Yeah. 365 00:25:28,348 --> 00:25:33,107 You're that weird English sacking fellow. 366 00:25:33,428 --> 00:25:36,507 Something's happened to your face, though. 367 00:25:36,508 --> 00:25:41,267 Just the aftereffects. Must have been my brother. Anyway, tickety-tonk! 368 00:25:47,068 --> 00:25:50,707 (Banging) Nine dollars and forty cents! 369 00:25:50,708 --> 00:25:54,587 Come and open this door now! 370 00:25:54,588 --> 00:25:59,347 l know you're in there. You owe me nine dollars and forty cents! 371 00:26:01,868 --> 00:26:06,627 You ain't got a chance, Jack. Nine dollars and forty cents that monzo owes me! 372 00:26:12,348 --> 00:26:15,987 Corky? 373 00:26:15,988 --> 00:26:18,547 - Corky! - Who's that? 374 00:26:18,548 --> 00:26:21,707 lt's Bertie. 375 00:26:21,708 --> 00:26:22,787 (Laughs) 376 00:26:22,788 --> 00:26:27,307 So you've deigned to come back, have you? You're the cause of all this. 377 00:26:27,308 --> 00:26:29,787 That'll be all for this morning, nurse. 378 00:26:29,788 --> 00:26:34,547 - Same time tomorrow, Mr Corcoran? - Yes, please. 379 00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:39,147 So, painting babies now, eh, Corky? 380 00:26:39,148 --> 00:26:42,307 That's not just any baby. That's the baby. 381 00:26:42,308 --> 00:26:44,587 The baby? What do you mean? 382 00:26:44,588 --> 00:26:49,027 Muriel's baby, of course. All thanks to your wonderful plan. 383 00:26:49,028 --> 00:26:52,587 lf you want an instance of the irony of fate, get acquainted with this. 384 00:26:52,588 --> 00:26:54,987 Here's the first commission l ever had, 385 00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:57,467 and the sitter is that human poached egg 386 00:26:57,468 --> 00:27:00,587 that has butted into my life and got my allowance cut. 387 00:27:00,588 --> 00:27:01,627 But why? 388 00:27:01,628 --> 00:27:06,387 The old skinflint says he can't afford to support me and a new family. 389 00:27:06,508 --> 00:27:10,067 - But why are you painting it? - $50, Bertie. 390 00:27:10,068 --> 00:27:14,827 lt's Uncle Alexander's idea. lt's supposed to be a surprise for Muriel's birthday. 391 00:27:15,388 --> 00:27:18,747 The nurse takes the kid out and they beat it down here. 392 00:27:18,748 --> 00:27:22,187 l can't refuse, or Uncle would stop my allowance completely. 393 00:27:22,188 --> 00:27:26,947 Poor old Corky! lt's like some awful Greek tragedy. 394 00:27:29,468 --> 00:27:33,507 - Did you know there was a baby? - Of Mr and Mrs Worple, sir? Yes. 395 00:27:33,508 --> 00:27:36,707 l saw it announced a few weeks ago in the public prints. 396 00:27:36,708 --> 00:27:39,907 l did not think you were emotionally prepared for the news, 397 00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:42,827 following your discovery of their marriage, sir. 398 00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:46,707 - Where will it all end, Jeeves? - Who can say, sir? 399 00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:50,387 - This is a new razor, isn't it? - Yes, sir. 400 00:27:50,388 --> 00:27:53,907 l took the liberty of buying it yesterday. 401 00:27:53,908 --> 00:27:56,307 What for? The other one was all right. 402 00:27:56,308 --> 00:28:00,867 l did not think that it was performing its task with the required efficacy, sir. 403 00:28:00,868 --> 00:28:04,787 Jeeves, l am not going to discuss my facial arrangements. 404 00:28:04,788 --> 00:28:06,827 Very good, sir. 405 00:28:06,828 --> 00:28:10,947 l read a most stimulating article in the New York Times, sir. 406 00:28:10,948 --> 00:28:15,707 The author asserts that moustaches are a most notorious cause for divorces. 407 00:28:15,948 --> 00:28:19,787 Jeeves, l don't care if it's a cause of the staggers in racehorses. 408 00:28:19,788 --> 00:28:23,027 l will not have you editing my upper lip. 409 00:28:23,028 --> 00:28:25,427 As you wish, sir. 410 00:28:25,428 --> 00:28:28,627 Mr Bassington-Bassington has returned, sir. 411 00:28:28,628 --> 00:28:32,867 - Last night, while you were in bed. - Cyril? Has the tour ended? 412 00:28:32,868 --> 00:28:35,227 lt would seem so, sir. 413 00:28:35,228 --> 00:28:39,747 Good Lord! l wonder if they've found a Broadway theatre. 414 00:28:39,748 --> 00:28:42,507 ? Ask Dad, ask Dad 415 00:28:42,508 --> 00:28:44,907 ? That's all they ever say 416 00:28:44,908 --> 00:28:47,667 ? Ask Dad, ask Dad 417 00:28:47,668 --> 00:28:50,707 ? They take your breath away 418 00:28:50,708 --> 00:28:52,987 ? Never seems to flurry them... ? 419 00:28:52,988 --> 00:28:57,067 - This is a great little show we got here. - Glad you like it. 420 00:28:57,068 --> 00:29:01,827 My boy doesn't like that sparkly stuff on the beach set in act two. Get rid of that. 421 00:29:02,468 --> 00:29:07,227 He says you need another reprise of that song at the end of the ballroom scene. 422 00:29:08,068 --> 00:29:10,507 - Good idea. - My boy's ideas are all good. 423 00:29:10,508 --> 00:29:15,067 - The complimentary list for tonight, sir. - l hate giving away tickets. 424 00:29:15,068 --> 00:29:18,427 Yes, fine, but add Arthur Prysock to the list. 425 00:29:18,428 --> 00:29:21,107 - Prysock, sir? - Art critic on the Chronicle. 426 00:29:21,108 --> 00:29:24,827 Him and some Englishwoman are trying to get me to put money into a gallery. 427 00:29:24,828 --> 00:29:27,147 As if l didn't have problems enough! 428 00:29:27,148 --> 00:29:29,827 - Very good, sir. - Goodbye, sir. 429 00:29:29,828 --> 00:29:31,707 Who's his boy? 430 00:29:31,708 --> 00:29:36,187 He's got a ten-year-old son he relies on to tell him what Broadway is gonna like. 431 00:29:36,188 --> 00:29:40,547 He says the mental age is about the same. 432 00:29:40,548 --> 00:29:43,987 ? Ask Dad ? 433 00:29:43,988 --> 00:29:47,307 ? Ask Dad, that's all they ever say 434 00:29:47,308 --> 00:29:49,827 ? Ask Dad ? 435 00:29:49,828 --> 00:29:54,587 (Bell) 436 00:29:55,068 --> 00:29:59,107 (Humming) 437 00:29:59,108 --> 00:30:03,867 Good morning, sir. l trust you had a pleasant walk in the park, sir? 438 00:30:04,188 --> 00:30:07,147 - Park? No, Jeeves, l've been... - Ahem! 439 00:30:07,148 --> 00:30:08,947 The park, sir! 440 00:30:08,948 --> 00:30:13,707 Mrs Gregson is here to see you, sir. 441 00:30:13,868 --> 00:30:15,827 Aunt Agatha? 442 00:30:15,828 --> 00:30:20,587 What? Here, in New York? 443 00:30:24,748 --> 00:30:27,907 Bertie? ls that you? 444 00:30:27,908 --> 00:30:29,747 Aunt Agatha. 445 00:30:29,748 --> 00:30:32,307 Have you been eating soup, Bertie? 446 00:30:32,308 --> 00:30:36,147 - Soup? - lt seems to have left a stain on your lip. 447 00:30:36,148 --> 00:30:39,787 - Oh, no, that's a...you know... - This is Mr Prysock. 448 00:30:39,788 --> 00:30:43,347 Mr Prysock, this is the nephew l told you about, Bertie Wooster. 449 00:30:43,348 --> 00:30:44,827 Delighted. 450 00:30:44,828 --> 00:30:48,707 Mr Prysock is art critic for the New York Chronicle, Bertie. 451 00:30:48,708 --> 00:30:52,467 - For my sins. - l had business to transact with him, 452 00:30:52,468 --> 00:30:55,867 so l thought l would look in on Cyril to see how he is getting on. 453 00:30:55,868 --> 00:31:00,627 l promised his dear mother that l would make sure he was perfectly all right. 454 00:31:01,388 --> 00:31:06,027 - Yes, well, he's... - Don't interrupt, Bertie! Where is Cyril? 455 00:31:06,028 --> 00:31:09,267 He's out at... 456 00:31:09,268 --> 00:31:13,387 That's to say, he's...he's out, Aunt Agatha. 457 00:31:13,388 --> 00:31:16,147 At the library, Mrs Gregson. 458 00:31:16,148 --> 00:31:19,427 At the library? Well, that sounds like an improvement. 459 00:31:19,428 --> 00:31:23,427 As long as you have kept him well away from theatrical circles. 460 00:31:23,428 --> 00:31:27,147 - Theatrical circles? - As l instructed you in my letter. 461 00:31:27,148 --> 00:31:28,507 Letter? 462 00:31:28,508 --> 00:31:32,707 Will you kindly stop parroting my every word, Bertie? 463 00:31:32,708 --> 00:31:34,827 Parroting? 464 00:31:34,828 --> 00:31:38,507 The letter of introduction which l gave to Cyril to give to you. 465 00:31:38,508 --> 00:31:43,267 He did give it to you, l presume? 466 00:31:46,028 --> 00:31:50,227 Oh, that letter. Yes, yes, of course. A wonderful letter. 467 00:31:50,228 --> 00:31:54,987 l don't know what was so wonderful. l merely warned you of Cyril's proclivities. 468 00:31:55,668 --> 00:31:59,547 Come, Mr Prysock. l am staying at the Waldorf Hotel, Bertie. 469 00:31:59,548 --> 00:32:02,547 Kindly ask Cyril to contact me there this evening. 470 00:32:02,548 --> 00:32:05,947 Don't forget we're going to see Blumenfield's show tonight. 471 00:32:05,948 --> 00:32:10,707 Oh, no, indeed, Mr Prysock. Cyril should contact me this afternoon. 472 00:32:12,308 --> 00:32:16,587 Oh, Jeeves! 473 00:32:16,588 --> 00:32:18,947 You didn't give me any letter. 474 00:32:18,948 --> 00:32:21,387 Didn't l? lt only would have depressed you. 475 00:32:21,388 --> 00:32:24,787 - Cyril, you have got to leave the show. - Leave the show? 476 00:32:24,788 --> 00:32:27,867 On the opening night of the threshold of my career? 477 00:32:27,868 --> 00:32:31,027 What about the threshold of my life? Aunt Agatha is coming. 478 00:32:31,028 --> 00:32:33,747 She'll see how talented l am and change her tune. 479 00:32:33,748 --> 00:32:38,227 Bertie, l haven't got time for all this. l've got a dress rehearsal in ten minutes. 480 00:32:38,228 --> 00:32:41,267 l've got to relax, l've got to get into character, 481 00:32:41,268 --> 00:32:43,547 explore the core of the part. 482 00:32:43,548 --> 00:32:47,107 - You've only got one line. - lt's a crucial one, Bertie. 483 00:32:47,108 --> 00:32:49,947 l'm not one of those actors who count their lines. 484 00:32:49,948 --> 00:32:54,707 - Are you going to leave the show? - Never! 485 00:33:02,388 --> 00:33:05,947 - Think, Jeeves. Think! - l am thinking, sir. 486 00:33:05,948 --> 00:33:09,587 Are you thinking, Jeeves? l can never tell, you know. 487 00:33:09,588 --> 00:33:12,827 l received a telephone call from Mr Corcoran, sir. 488 00:33:12,828 --> 00:33:16,947 You're meant to be thinking about the Bassington-Bassington pill. 489 00:33:16,948 --> 00:33:21,707 With respect, l am capable of retaining more than one thought at the same time. 490 00:33:21,988 --> 00:33:24,667 Mr Corcoran has finished the painting. 491 00:33:24,668 --> 00:33:28,827 - Mr Worple is to view it this afternoon. - That's good, isn't it? 492 00:33:28,828 --> 00:33:33,587 Possibly, sir. Mr Corcoran is keen we should be present for Mr Worple's visit. 493 00:33:39,148 --> 00:33:41,587 (Knocking on door) 494 00:33:41,588 --> 00:33:43,747 Bertie. Come in, come in. 495 00:33:43,748 --> 00:33:46,787 Now, stop right there. 496 00:33:46,788 --> 00:33:51,547 Tell me honestly, how does it strike you? 497 00:33:53,708 --> 00:33:56,707 Yes, well, l only saw the kid for a moment. 498 00:33:56,708 --> 00:34:01,467 l've painted the soul of the subject. lt's a talent we artists have. 499 00:34:02,188 --> 00:34:05,107 A child wouldn't have had time to get a soul like that. 500 00:34:05,108 --> 00:34:08,107 l should think it most unlikely, sir. 501 00:34:08,108 --> 00:34:09,667 (Knocking at door) 502 00:34:09,668 --> 00:34:14,427 Well, here goes. 503 00:34:15,868 --> 00:34:19,187 Well, well, well, the big day dawns, eh, my boy? 504 00:34:19,188 --> 00:34:21,347 ls it really ready? ls it...? 505 00:34:21,348 --> 00:34:26,107 Eugh! 506 00:34:32,588 --> 00:34:35,107 ls this a practical joke? 507 00:34:35,108 --> 00:34:37,987 l think you want to stand further back from it. 508 00:34:37,988 --> 00:34:40,267 l do, l do. 509 00:34:40,268 --> 00:34:43,707 So far back l can't see the thing through a telescope. 510 00:34:43,708 --> 00:34:47,067 Hmm. Try sort of half closing your eyes. 511 00:34:47,068 --> 00:34:51,827 This... This is what you wasted your time and my money for, all these years? 512 00:34:53,268 --> 00:34:57,187 A painter? l wouldn't let you paint a house! 513 00:34:57,188 --> 00:35:01,387 l gave you the commission, thinking you might be competent. 514 00:35:01,388 --> 00:35:06,147 And this extract from a drunkard's nightmare is the result. 515 00:35:07,748 --> 00:35:11,467 This is the end. Not another cent! 516 00:35:11,468 --> 00:35:16,227 Not another cent! 517 00:35:18,148 --> 00:35:22,147 Not another cent! 518 00:35:22,148 --> 00:35:26,907 l've said it before, and l'll say it again. Some people do not understand art. 519 00:35:28,108 --> 00:35:30,507 Better death than the jute business, Bertie. 520 00:35:30,508 --> 00:35:34,667 No, no, no, no, no, Corkie. No. Look at it another way. 521 00:35:34,668 --> 00:35:39,387 - What other way? - Well... 522 00:35:39,388 --> 00:35:42,787 Yes. Still, decent of Jeeves to give you $10 for it. 523 00:35:42,788 --> 00:35:47,027 - What do you mean, decent? - Well, discerning, perspicacious. 524 00:35:47,028 --> 00:35:51,787 - Old Jeeves knows a thing or two. - Old Jeeves got me into this mess. 525 00:35:52,268 --> 00:35:56,667 True, true. 526 00:35:56,668 --> 00:36:00,387 - Another doughnut, Master Sidney? - Sure, l'll have two. 527 00:36:00,388 --> 00:36:05,147 Please, have as many as you like. 528 00:36:07,388 --> 00:36:11,707 Disaster, Jeeves. 529 00:36:11,708 --> 00:36:13,827 Oh, sorry to interrupt. 530 00:36:13,828 --> 00:36:16,747 We were just having tea. Would you care for some? 531 00:36:16,748 --> 00:36:19,707 Erm...no, that's fine, Jeeves. You carry on. 532 00:36:19,708 --> 00:36:22,947 - What's your name? - Name? 533 00:36:22,948 --> 00:36:25,827 Wooster, don't you know, and what not. 534 00:36:25,828 --> 00:36:29,427 My Pop's richer than you. 535 00:36:29,428 --> 00:36:34,187 Right... 536 00:36:38,748 --> 00:36:42,387 l trust l'm not taking a liberty in entertaining them, sir? 537 00:36:42,388 --> 00:36:47,147 lf that's your idea of a large afternoon, go ahead. Who is your little friend? 538 00:36:47,148 --> 00:36:51,307 l happened to bump into the young gentleman with his father's valet, sir, 539 00:36:51,308 --> 00:36:53,947 whom l used to know quite well in London. 540 00:36:53,948 --> 00:36:55,987 My God, l'm exhausted! 541 00:36:55,988 --> 00:36:59,307 The dress rehearsal was an absolute disaster. 542 00:36:59,308 --> 00:37:02,307 Tea, Jeeves, if you'd be so kind. 543 00:37:02,308 --> 00:37:07,067 Very good, Mr Bassington-Bassington. 544 00:37:07,188 --> 00:37:11,947 - Have you been to see Aunt Agatha yet? - My dear Bertie, l hadn't a moment. 545 00:37:12,108 --> 00:37:15,467 We open in two hours. l don't know how much more l can take. 546 00:37:15,468 --> 00:37:20,227 One gives so much. 547 00:37:28,948 --> 00:37:32,027 - Your tea, sir. - Thank you, Jeeves. Thank you. 548 00:37:32,028 --> 00:37:34,627 - Fishface! - l'm sorry? 549 00:37:34,628 --> 00:37:38,347 - You got a face like a fish. - Well, l'm dashed. 550 00:37:38,348 --> 00:37:43,107 A haddock. l wouldn't have a face like that if you gave me a million dollars. 551 00:37:43,188 --> 00:37:47,947 Come here! 552 00:37:48,228 --> 00:37:50,267 Help! Help! 553 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,827 He told me to! Get out of it! 554 00:37:52,828 --> 00:37:55,147 Ow! Ow! 555 00:37:55,148 --> 00:37:59,907 (Smacking) 556 00:38:03,668 --> 00:38:06,227 Extraordinary child. Who was he? 557 00:38:06,228 --> 00:38:08,227 Never met him before today. 558 00:38:08,228 --> 00:38:12,387 Mrs Gregson and Mr Prysock are ascending in the elevator, sir. 559 00:38:12,388 --> 00:38:14,827 What? l've got to get out of here. 560 00:38:14,828 --> 00:38:19,587 lf l can suggest the fire escape, sir? 561 00:38:23,348 --> 00:38:25,907 Jeeves, you're up to something. l know that look. 562 00:38:25,908 --> 00:38:30,347 Sir. 563 00:38:30,348 --> 00:38:32,267 What ho, Aunt Agatha, Mr Prysock. 564 00:38:32,268 --> 00:38:36,427 ls it possible for you to find a more civilised form of greeting, Bertie? 565 00:38:36,428 --> 00:38:38,427 Should l make some more tea, sir? 566 00:38:38,428 --> 00:38:42,147 - Oh, yes, Jeeves, make some more tea. - Very good, Mrs Gregson. 567 00:38:42,148 --> 00:38:45,267 Cyril did not come to see me. 568 00:38:45,268 --> 00:38:47,747 (Bertie) Oh, really? Well, l... 569 00:38:47,748 --> 00:38:50,987 - l expect he got tied up at the library. - He's here now? 570 00:38:50,988 --> 00:38:52,627 Well, actually, no. 571 00:38:52,628 --> 00:38:56,467 No? Oh, this is really most unsatisfactory. 572 00:38:56,468 --> 00:38:58,507 l think he went... 573 00:38:58,508 --> 00:39:02,027 Ah, Jeeves, where is Mr Bassington-Bassington today? 574 00:39:02,028 --> 00:39:03,707 At the museum, sir. 575 00:39:03,708 --> 00:39:08,467 At the museum, that's right. Then he was go... 576 00:39:09,548 --> 00:39:14,307 - Jeeves, what are you doing? - l am hanging this picture, sir. 577 00:39:14,868 --> 00:39:19,627 - We're not going to have that in here. - lt is a Corcoran, sir. 578 00:39:19,788 --> 00:39:22,387 My nephew knows nothing about art. 579 00:39:22,388 --> 00:39:24,627 l know an awful painting when l see one. 580 00:39:24,628 --> 00:39:29,387 Oh, let me see. 581 00:39:31,668 --> 00:39:33,107 Oh, yes! 582 00:39:33,108 --> 00:39:37,867 - Oh, yes! - Yes, yes, yes! 583 00:39:37,988 --> 00:39:41,907 - And it is a genuine...? - Corcoran? Yes, madam. 584 00:39:41,908 --> 00:39:45,587 Of course. The tone, the line is unmistakeable. 585 00:39:45,588 --> 00:39:50,347 - Typical of his early work. - Still Life With Eggplant is the title. 586 00:39:50,948 --> 00:39:53,547 Hmm, so clever, so clever. 587 00:39:53,548 --> 00:39:56,747 At first glance, there's almost the hint of a human face. 588 00:39:56,748 --> 00:40:01,107 We must have this work for the gallery. What did you pay for it, Bertie? 589 00:40:01,108 --> 00:40:04,467 l didn't. l wouldn't give you tuppence for the beastly thing. 590 00:40:04,468 --> 00:40:06,667 - Poor Bertie! - Then who bought it? 591 00:40:06,668 --> 00:40:11,347 - l did, sir. l gave ten for it. - Ten? 592 00:40:11,348 --> 00:40:15,987 - l'll give you fifteen for it, here and now. - l would be loathe to part with it... 593 00:40:15,988 --> 00:40:20,747 - 17, and that's my final offer. - ..for less than 18. 594 00:40:20,788 --> 00:40:23,107 We must have it, Mr Prysock. 595 00:40:23,108 --> 00:40:27,867 This is just the sort of work that will persuade Mr Blumenfield of our intent. 596 00:40:28,628 --> 00:40:30,067 18,000, then. 597 00:40:30,068 --> 00:40:34,827 and exclusive access to any other Corcoran you can lay your hands on. 598 00:40:36,668 --> 00:40:41,427 Done, sir. 599 00:41:00,828 --> 00:41:04,467 That's fine. Good. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. Good. 600 00:41:04,468 --> 00:41:08,467 No, don't wear that tie. Can't we get him a less ostentatious tie? 601 00:41:08,468 --> 00:41:12,587 Fine. Fine. Oh, those frills are looking a bit tired, Nesta. 602 00:41:12,588 --> 00:41:14,467 That's fine. 603 00:41:14,468 --> 00:41:18,187 - What's that awful child doing here? - That's Blumenfield's son. 604 00:41:18,188 --> 00:41:21,907 - That's the one you biffed. - Hey, you! Turn around. 605 00:41:21,908 --> 00:41:25,067 - He did what? - Biffed. As in biffed. 606 00:41:25,068 --> 00:41:28,587 Pa! That's the one! That one's no good. 607 00:41:28,588 --> 00:41:32,667 - Which one, darling? - The one with a face like a fish. 608 00:41:32,668 --> 00:41:36,387 - Oh, that one. - Yep, he's rotten. 609 00:41:36,388 --> 00:41:37,947 l thought so, too. 610 00:41:37,948 --> 00:41:40,707 - What the devil do you mean? - Don't yell at me. 611 00:41:40,708 --> 00:41:43,667 l've a good mind to bat the brute round the ear again. 612 00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:46,467 What? Now, l don't know your name, but... 613 00:41:46,468 --> 00:41:48,987 My name is Cyril Bassington-Bassington. 614 00:41:48,988 --> 00:41:51,627 The Bassington-Bassingtons are not acc... 615 00:41:51,628 --> 00:41:53,347 l don't give a three-dollar cuss 616 00:41:53,348 --> 00:41:57,227 what the Bassington-Bassingtons are accustomed to. 617 00:41:57,228 --> 00:41:59,387 You gotta work good to work for my pa. 618 00:41:59,388 --> 00:42:01,987 l'll stuff that hat down your neck in a minute. 619 00:42:01,988 --> 00:42:05,067 Do you know who you're talking to? This boy is my son. 620 00:42:05,068 --> 00:42:07,547 Well, you both have my deepest sympathy. 621 00:42:07,548 --> 00:42:10,867 That does it! 622 00:42:10,868 --> 00:42:14,307 Here's the deal. lf that man's in it, the show's off. 623 00:42:14,308 --> 00:42:19,067 - You can't do that. - Watch me! 624 00:42:30,788 --> 00:42:34,307 l didn't want the dratted part then, and l don't want it now. 625 00:42:34,308 --> 00:42:38,427 At the end of the number, you just step out onto the stage, and say, 626 00:42:38,428 --> 00:42:40,627 ''You'll pardon me for mentioning it...'' 627 00:42:40,628 --> 00:42:43,627 l know. l've seen the blasted thing a thousand times. 628 00:42:43,628 --> 00:42:47,987 My aunt is waiting to pounce. She thinks acting is the next thing to devil worship. 629 00:42:47,988 --> 00:42:51,467 - l won't forget this, Bertie. - Nor me. 630 00:42:51,468 --> 00:42:56,227 ? Ask Dad ? 631 00:43:27,348 --> 00:43:32,107 ? What a wonderful world, what a wonderful feeling 632 00:43:32,668 --> 00:43:37,427 ? When your heart is reeling and you're just in love 633 00:43:38,828 --> 00:43:43,587 ? What a wonderful day, full of sunshine and clover 634 00:43:44,108 --> 00:43:48,867 ? lt's the same the world over when you're just in love 635 00:43:51,028 --> 00:43:53,347 ? There's nothing you can do about it 636 00:43:53,348 --> 00:43:56,947 ? lt will make you sing 637 00:43:56,948 --> 00:43:59,827 ? You'll find that you can't live without it 638 00:43:59,828 --> 00:44:02,227 ? lt's everything 639 00:44:02,228 --> 00:44:06,987 ? What a wonderful time to be giving your kisses 640 00:44:07,708 --> 00:44:12,467 ? You'll be Mr and Mrs when you're just in love 641 00:44:25,788 --> 00:44:30,547 ? What a wonderful smile, do you hear the bells ring, dear? 642 00:44:30,788 --> 00:44:35,547 ? lt's the promise of spring, dear, you're just in love 643 00:44:36,908 --> 00:44:41,667 ? What a wonderful mood, you couldn't buy it with money 644 00:44:42,148 --> 00:44:45,707 ? Bet you'll say it with honey when you're just in 645 00:44:45,708 --> 00:44:50,467 ? You're just, you're just in love 646 00:44:53,348 --> 00:44:57,627 ? You're just in love ? 647 00:44:57,628 --> 00:45:02,387 This is it. 648 00:45:03,508 --> 00:45:06,547 Now, Bertie. 649 00:45:06,548 --> 00:45:10,627 (Whispers) Now! 650 00:45:10,628 --> 00:45:13,707 (Tittering) 651 00:45:13,708 --> 00:45:18,467 Bertie! 652 00:45:21,548 --> 00:45:23,667 (Laughter) 653 00:45:23,668 --> 00:45:28,427 Don't l...? 654 00:45:33,348 --> 00:45:37,867 (Whispering) lf you'll pardon me for mentioning it, ladies, 655 00:45:37,868 --> 00:45:42,627 but the house is on fire. 656 00:45:48,108 --> 00:45:52,867 lf you'll pardon me for mentioning it, ladies, but the house is on fire. 657 00:45:56,468 --> 00:45:59,107 Bertie! 658 00:45:59,108 --> 00:46:00,867 Fire! 659 00:46:00,868 --> 00:46:05,627 (Screaming) 660 00:46:19,468 --> 00:46:24,227 Make way there! Excuse me. 661 00:46:29,468 --> 00:46:32,027 Cyril! What are you doing here? 662 00:46:32,028 --> 00:46:35,107 l might have known. Bertie has led you astray. 663 00:46:35,108 --> 00:46:39,867 Now get back there. 664 00:46:40,548 --> 00:46:44,867 Come on! Bring that hose here! 665 00:46:44,868 --> 00:46:47,027 Ruined! We're ruined. 666 00:46:47,028 --> 00:46:50,227 Who finds these idiots, for God's sake, George? 667 00:46:50,228 --> 00:46:54,467 Well, l like your bally nerve. l was trying to help. 668 00:46:54,468 --> 00:46:59,227 Bertie! Bertie! 669 00:47:00,468 --> 00:47:02,507 - Bertie! - Aunt Agatha. 670 00:47:02,508 --> 00:47:07,267 What do you think you are doing? How dare you? 671 00:47:27,388 --> 00:47:31,507 l hold you fully responsible, Bertie. l warned you that this might happen. 672 00:47:31,508 --> 00:47:33,387 - l... - Don't answer back. 673 00:47:33,388 --> 00:47:35,067 You will return to London, 674 00:47:35,068 --> 00:47:38,187 and you will apologise to Lady Bassington-Bassington. 675 00:47:38,188 --> 00:47:42,947 - Oh... - Silence! 676 00:47:54,628 --> 00:47:57,627 Last time we shall get the New York Sunday papers, sir. 677 00:47:57,628 --> 00:48:01,827 Ah, thank you, Jeeves. 678 00:48:01,828 --> 00:48:04,907 Mr Caffyn's new show has been retitled Where's The Fire? 679 00:48:04,908 --> 00:48:07,547 and has excellent advance reservations, sir. 680 00:48:07,548 --> 00:48:08,827 Good Lord! 681 00:48:08,828 --> 00:48:11,427 The fiasco which attended the opening 682 00:48:11,428 --> 00:48:14,067 afforded publicity such as could not be bought. 683 00:48:14,068 --> 00:48:15,987 l suppose you're right, Jeeves. 684 00:48:15,988 --> 00:48:20,667 There is also an excellent review of Mr Corcoran's exhibition, sir. 685 00:48:20,668 --> 00:48:24,107 lf l'd been in your place, l'd have kept Prysock's cheque. 686 00:48:24,108 --> 00:48:27,187 Mr Corcoran was generous enough to pay me a percentage, 687 00:48:27,188 --> 00:48:29,387 for acting as his agent in the matter. 688 00:48:29,388 --> 00:48:31,587 You really are a marvel, Jeeves. 689 00:48:31,588 --> 00:48:34,307 That and nobbling young Sidney Blumenfield. 690 00:48:34,308 --> 00:48:37,347 l endeavour to give satisfaction, sir. 691 00:48:37,348 --> 00:48:39,147 ln spite of the fact 692 00:48:39,148 --> 00:48:42,307 that we're being dragged back to dear old Blighty 693 00:48:42,308 --> 00:48:45,107 by an enraged aunt, l shan't be sorry to go. 694 00:48:45,108 --> 00:48:48,947 No, indeed, sir. lt will be a pleasure to be home. 695 00:48:48,948 --> 00:48:52,747 Now, Jeeves, about this moustache. 696 00:48:52,748 --> 00:48:56,587 - Yes, sir? - You don't like it, do you? 697 00:48:56,588 --> 00:48:59,467 lt is not my place to offer an opinion on the object. 698 00:48:59,468 --> 00:49:04,187 l'm not that keen on it, either. l only kept the bally thing to show who's master. 699 00:49:04,188 --> 00:49:08,947 Oh, l trust there was never any doubt about that, sir. 700 00:49:09,228 --> 00:49:13,987 Quite. Yes, well, go and get the razor, will you, Jeeves? 701 00:49:14,108 --> 00:49:18,867 Thank you, sir. 702 00:49:21,508 --> 00:49:24,347 (Man) Oh, yes, Corcoran is a major artist. 703 00:49:24,348 --> 00:49:29,107 (Appreciative muttering) 704 00:49:29,668 --> 00:49:31,947 - Congratulations. - Well done. 705 00:49:31,948 --> 00:49:34,027 Absolutely superb! 706 00:49:34,028 --> 00:49:38,306 - Corky, it's a triumph. - A triumph! 59582

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