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1
00:00:02,447 --> 00:00:04,000
Whooo!
2
00:00:04,067 --> 00:00:05,482
[ scatting]
3
00:00:05,551 --> 00:00:06,309
Two, three.
4
00:00:06,378 --> 00:00:07,448
[ beatboxing]
5
00:00:07,517 --> 00:00:09,310
PROFESSOR:
Oh, my!
6
00:00:09,378 --> 00:00:10,413
BENDER:
Here we go, y'all!
7
00:00:10,481 --> 00:00:12,343
ZOIDBERG:
Zoidberg. Zoidberg.
8
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,448
Z-Z-Z-Z-Zoidberg.
9
00:00:14,516 --> 00:00:18,655
[ gibberish]
10
00:00:18,724 --> 00:00:22,448
BENDER:
This is a story
about all my friends.
11
00:00:22,516 --> 00:00:25,309
PROFESSOR:
Why? Why?
12
00:00:29,585 --> 00:00:31,964
ANNOUNCER: Previously onAll My Circuits:
13
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,930
[ organ plays]
14
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,896
I'm sorry, father, but
somewhere along the way
15
00:00:36,965 --> 00:00:38,965
I forgot how to be your son.
16
00:00:39,033 --> 00:00:40,412
Why, Antonio?
17
00:00:40,481 --> 00:00:44,448
Because I have amnesia!
18
00:00:44,517 --> 00:00:46,517
[ kissing sounds]
19
00:00:48,344 --> 00:00:49,378
Calculon!
20
00:00:49,448 --> 00:00:50,481
But I thought you were...
21
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,758
Egyptian?
22
00:00:52,826 --> 00:00:53,930
Before I kill you
23
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,826
I must ask you
one question:
24
00:00:55,896 --> 00:00:56,965
Who am I?
25
00:00:57,033 --> 00:01:00,930
For I have amnesia!
26
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,448
Let me
get this straight.
27
00:01:03,517 --> 00:01:05,793
Does anyone here nothave amnesia?
28
00:01:05,861 --> 00:01:07,102
[ murmuring]
29
00:01:07,171 --> 00:01:08,206
I don't know.
30
00:01:09,655 --> 00:01:11,826
This show is awesome.
31
00:01:11,896 --> 00:01:14,965
When I grow up, I'm going
to have so much amnesia.
32
00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,033
Me, too.
33
00:01:16,103 --> 00:01:18,000
I mean, I have it now,
but I forgot.
34
00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:19,724
Well, mine's louder.
35
00:01:19,793 --> 00:01:21,551
Cram a ham in it,
you twerps.
36
00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:22,448
[ yelps][ bottle breaks]
37
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,585
Sorry.
38
00:01:23,655 --> 00:01:25,206
Nah, I had it coming.
39
00:01:25,275 --> 00:01:27,240
[ chattering]
40
00:01:27,310 --> 00:01:28,688
CALCULON:
Welcome, swingers.
41
00:01:28,757 --> 00:01:31,481
Pull up a groove
and get fabulous.
42
00:01:31,551 --> 00:01:32,861
Nude rock bands
43
00:01:32,930 --> 00:01:35,481
big piles of what I assume
is talcum powder...
44
00:01:35,551 --> 00:01:38,000
It's quite a birthday
party, Calculon.
45
00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:38,965
Cool!
46
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:40,033
I'm going to have
47
00:01:40,103 --> 00:01:41,275
a fabulacious
birthday party
48
00:01:41,343 --> 00:01:42,310
just like Calculon.
49
00:01:42,378 --> 00:01:43,448
Oh, yeah?
50
00:01:43,516 --> 00:01:44,861
Well, I'm going
to show up looking good
51
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:46,343
just like Monique.
52
00:01:46,412 --> 00:01:49,240
Do you two have to imitate
everything you see on TV?
53
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:52,171
Um, we're 12... so yes.
54
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:53,137
Hold up, Cubert.
55
00:01:53,206 --> 00:01:54,723
You're a clone
of the Professor.
56
00:01:54,793 --> 00:01:56,723
Do clones
even have birthdays?
57
00:01:56,793 --> 00:01:58,688
Um, duh.
58
00:01:58,758 --> 00:02:00,275
Duh what?
59
00:02:02,516 --> 00:02:06,240
[ growling]
60
00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:08,826
Dad,
do I have a birthday?
61
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,033
Hmm.
62
00:02:10,103 --> 00:02:13,068
You didn't have a birth,
so technically, no.
63
00:02:13,137 --> 00:02:14,068
[ groans]
64
00:02:14,137 --> 00:02:16,448
Oh, don't
feel bad.
65
00:02:16,516 --> 00:02:17,896
We can celebrate
the day
66
00:02:17,965 --> 00:02:20,240
I extracted you
from the cloning tank.
67
00:02:20,310 --> 00:02:24,688
Or the day I scraped your DNA
from that growth on my back.
68
00:02:24,758 --> 00:02:25,861
Ooh, that one!
69
00:02:25,931 --> 00:02:29,586
Ah, yes, it was
13 years ago next week.
70
00:02:29,655 --> 00:02:32,343
I used this very fork.
71
00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:33,965
Oh, well, isn't that...
72
00:02:34,033 --> 00:02:35,586
[ yelps]
73
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,620
Hey, next week will be
my birthday, too.
74
00:02:37,688 --> 00:02:38,620
That's true.
75
00:02:38,688 --> 00:02:40,240
If only there were a way to have
76
00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:42,516
one party for both of you
here at the office
77
00:02:42,586 --> 00:02:44,550
then write it off
as a business expense.
78
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:46,275
Wait! I thought of a way.
79
00:02:46,343 --> 00:02:47,516
The way I just said.
80
00:02:47,586 --> 00:02:49,343
Yeah.Way to go, pops.
81
00:02:49,413 --> 00:02:52,655
BENDER:
Something's happening
on television!
82
00:02:52,723 --> 00:02:54,275
[ panting]
83
00:02:56,481 --> 00:02:59,103
Oh, Monique, why did
we wait so many years
84
00:02:59,171 --> 00:03:01,448
to bathe in champagne?
85
00:03:04,861 --> 00:03:07,205
[ approaching scream]
86
00:03:07,275 --> 00:03:08,931
[ grunts]
87
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,068
Father!
88
00:03:10,137 --> 00:03:11,965
I've discovered
the shocking secret
89
00:03:12,033 --> 00:03:14,171
mother has kept from you
for 200 years.
90
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,861
No! No!
91
00:03:15,931 --> 00:03:18,655
Brace yourself, for when
I speak these words
92
00:03:18,723 --> 00:03:22,620
you may well suffer an attack
of explosive amnesia.
93
00:03:22,688 --> 00:03:26,723
For you see,
the horrible secret is...
94
00:03:26,793 --> 00:03:31,103
[ electrical buzzing]
95
00:03:33,655 --> 00:03:36,965
Whoever's directing this
is a master of suspense.
96
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:38,965
[ buzzing continues]
97
00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:43,550
[ clonking]
98
00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:45,000
He's busteds.
99
00:03:45,067 --> 00:03:47,137
Let's get hims
out of heres.
100
00:03:51,171 --> 00:03:53,793
ANNOUNCER:
We now join America's
most popular show
101
00:03:53,861 --> 00:03:55,413
already in progress:
102
00:03:55,481 --> 00:03:58,240
Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad.
103
00:03:58,310 --> 00:04:02,895
[ sustained electrical buzzing]
104
00:04:02,965 --> 00:04:04,655
This show's been
going downhill
105
00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:05,895
since season three.
106
00:04:12,033 --> 00:04:14,137
Look who's here,
everyone.
107
00:04:14,205 --> 00:04:16,654
It's Zoidberg,
the lovable tramp.
108
00:04:18,172 --> 00:04:20,654
Since when are you performing
at children's parties?
109
00:04:20,723 --> 00:04:22,447
Performing? What?
110
00:04:22,516 --> 00:04:23,654
Please, if someone
111
00:04:23,723 --> 00:04:25,930
could spare me
money to buy shoes?
112
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,274
This party pukes.
113
00:04:28,343 --> 00:04:30,481
Yeah, the guests
were supposed to be here
114
00:04:30,550 --> 00:04:31,689
three hours ago.
115
00:04:31,757 --> 00:04:34,206
Well, that doesn't mean
that no one is coming
116
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,103
or that you two
are total losers.
117
00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:37,862
Who gave you that idea?
118
00:04:37,930 --> 00:04:38,862
[ doorbell chimes]
119
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:39,965
All right.
120
00:04:40,033 --> 00:04:41,379
They must have all
come as a group.
121
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,000
Welcome, swingers.
122
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:46,137
Pull up a groove
and get fabulous.
123
00:04:46,206 --> 00:04:47,689
[ chuckles]
124
00:04:47,757 --> 00:04:48,689
Uh?
125
00:04:48,757 --> 00:04:49,862
[ clomping]
126
00:04:49,930 --> 00:04:50,826
Huh?
127
00:04:50,896 --> 00:04:52,240
Good day, fellows.
128
00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:54,896
Someone dumped this invitation
in my begging cup.
129
00:04:54,965 --> 00:04:57,274
Happy growth-scraping day
to all!
130
00:04:57,343 --> 00:04:59,413
[ dejected sighs]
131
00:04:59,481 --> 00:05:00,550
Fire them on.
132
00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:01,964
Hm-mm, hm-mm.
133
00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,172
[ panting]
134
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,067
Guys, guys!
135
00:05:07,137 --> 00:05:10,103
Something's happening
on television again.
136
00:05:10,172 --> 00:05:11,447
[ grunting]
137
00:05:12,689 --> 00:05:13,689
Ooh!
138
00:05:14,757 --> 00:05:17,620
[ theme music plays]
139
00:05:17,689 --> 00:05:20,964
Welcome to Entertainment and Earth Invasion Tonite.
140
00:05:21,033 --> 00:05:22,206
Across the galaxy
141
00:05:22,274 --> 00:05:25,447
my people are completing
the mighty space fleet
142
00:05:25,516 --> 00:05:27,826
that will exterminate
the human race.
143
00:05:27,896 --> 00:05:30,550
But first, this news
from Tinseltown.
144
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:33,930
Following Antonio Calculon,
Jr.'s breakdown on the set
145
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,240
the popular TV show
All My Circuits
146
00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:40,067
will hold an open casting call
for child robots to replace him.
147
00:05:40,137 --> 00:05:42,413
An open casting call
for child robots?
148
00:05:42,481 --> 00:05:43,586
Tinny Tim
149
00:05:43,654 --> 00:05:44,862
are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
150
00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:46,067
What's that, sir?
151
00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:48,689
That I, Bender, am perfect
for the role.
152
00:05:48,757 --> 00:05:51,516
You raised my hopes and
dashed them quite expertly, sir.
153
00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:53,274
Bravo!
154
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:58,930
[ murmuring;
electrical crackling]
155
00:06:01,413 --> 00:06:04,757
Bender, your swarthy Latin charm
will only get you so far.
156
00:06:04,826 --> 00:06:07,413
There's a lot of famous
child acting units here.
157
00:06:07,482 --> 00:06:09,586
Look! There's
Macaulay Cul-Con.
158
00:06:09,654 --> 00:06:11,550
LEELA:
He's just not cute
159
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:13,930
since he got puberty installed.
160
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,067
Psst! There's that
robot child actor
161
00:06:16,137 --> 00:06:18,413
who grew up and robbed
the convenience store.
162
00:06:18,481 --> 00:06:20,550
LEELA:
And there's that
robot child actor
163
00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:23,343
who grew up and became
a convenience store.
164
00:06:23,413 --> 00:06:25,103
Lottery ticket,
please.
165
00:06:25,172 --> 00:06:26,689
[ rattling]
166
00:06:27,896 --> 00:06:30,067
We're ready
for the first audition.
167
00:06:30,137 --> 00:06:32,310
Emotitron, Jr.
168
00:06:32,379 --> 00:06:33,550
Hold on, precious.
169
00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:36,137
Let's make you look nice
for the lady.
170
00:06:36,206 --> 00:06:38,067
What's this?
What did I tell you?
171
00:06:38,137 --> 00:06:41,620
Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ow!No... more...
hanging... wires!
172
00:06:41,689 --> 00:06:42,896
In this scene
173
00:06:42,965 --> 00:06:45,481
you've just found out
your real father
174
00:06:45,550 --> 00:06:49,826
is Calculon's fourth
evil identical septuplet,
Sleazy Martinez.
175
00:06:49,896 --> 00:06:52,481
Okay... take us there.
176
00:06:52,550 --> 00:06:56,240
"Now that I know the truth,
Father, I must ride south
177
00:06:56,310 --> 00:06:59,343
and join the robo-bandidos
at Veracruz..."
178
00:06:59,413 --> 00:07:02,343
BENDER [ muffled]:
Boo! Boo!
This kid sucks!
179
00:07:02,413 --> 00:07:03,447
We want Bender!
180
00:07:03,516 --> 00:07:04,896
Boo!
181
00:07:04,964 --> 00:07:06,930
Well, I thought
he was good
182
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,793
but the audience seems
to have turned on him.
183
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:09,862
But I don't think...
184
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:10,689
Next!
185
00:07:12,654 --> 00:07:14,137
"...at Veracruz.
186
00:07:14,206 --> 00:07:16,896
So, if you'll kindly
hand me my poncho..."
187
00:07:16,964 --> 00:07:19,274
BENDER [ muffled]:
Boo! Bring on Bender!
188
00:07:19,343 --> 00:07:20,930
Boo!
Bender's the greatest!
189
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:21,826
Sorry, kid.
190
00:07:21,896 --> 00:07:23,310
You're flailing up there.
191
00:07:23,379 --> 00:07:26,862
Ohhhh!
192
00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:29,516
90 actors
and they all got booed.
193
00:07:29,586 --> 00:07:32,654
I just wish we could get
this "Bender"
194
00:07:32,723 --> 00:07:34,000
I keep hearing about.
195
00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:35,896
They say he's the greatest.
196
00:07:35,965 --> 00:07:38,033
Well, there is
a robot named
Bender here
197
00:07:38,103 --> 00:07:39,481
but he's
much too old...
198
00:07:39,550 --> 00:07:41,206
Send him in forthwith!
199
00:07:41,274 --> 00:07:43,000
Boo! Not as good as Bender!
200
00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:44,172
Boo!
201
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,206
Mr. Bender?
202
00:07:45,274 --> 00:07:46,723
[ startled gasp]
203
00:07:46,793 --> 00:07:48,620
Have you ever been
on TV before?
204
00:07:48,689 --> 00:07:50,586
Once, when I took
those hostages.
205
00:07:50,654 --> 00:07:51,757
I saw that.
You were good.
206
00:07:51,826 --> 00:07:53,137
Let's hear you audition.
207
00:07:55,896 --> 00:07:56,826
Bandidos, eh?
208
00:07:56,896 --> 00:07:58,379
Ah, this is great
209
00:07:58,447 --> 00:08:02,103
'cause I happen to have
a flawless Spanish accent.
210
00:08:02,172 --> 00:08:03,447
[ clears throat]
211
00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:06,447
"I will say a-dee-os, Pad-ray.
212
00:08:06,516 --> 00:08:09,930
"Come, Jesus,
my faithful chi-hew-a-hew-a.
213
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,206
"Tonight, we eat gyoo-a-ca-mole
214
00:08:13,274 --> 00:08:15,103
by the el rio."
215
00:08:15,172 --> 00:08:18,206
That was so terrible,
I think you gave me cancer.
216
00:08:18,274 --> 00:08:20,586
I don't care
how popular you are
217
00:08:20,654 --> 00:08:22,862
you will never work
on my show!
218
00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:23,896
FRY:
Yay, Bender!
219
00:08:23,964 --> 00:08:25,550
LEELA:
We demand Bender!
220
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,586
However, you've
got the job.
221
00:08:27,654 --> 00:08:29,481
Welcome aboard,
"son."
222
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,000
Fathero!
223
00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:32,586
[ clonk]
224
00:08:43,033 --> 00:08:44,861
Bender, I'd like you
to meet our director
225
00:08:44,931 --> 00:08:46,136
whose name
I never learned.
226
00:08:46,206 --> 00:08:47,309
Yo.
227
00:08:47,379 --> 00:08:48,895
I read the script and I think
228
00:08:48,965 --> 00:08:51,620
it would help my character's
motivation if he was on fire.
229
00:08:51,688 --> 00:08:53,379
Uh, don't worry
about the script, baby.
230
00:08:53,447 --> 00:08:55,965
We rewrote your part to better
suit your acting abilities.
231
00:08:56,033 --> 00:08:59,654
Oh, now my character
has a British accent?
232
00:08:59,724 --> 00:09:01,931
No, now your character's
in a coma.
233
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,517
Get in bed and don't move.
234
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:06,481
[ grumbling]
235
00:09:06,551 --> 00:09:08,033
And... action!
236
00:09:08,102 --> 00:09:10,379
[ muttering]:
Stupid, dumb coma.
237
00:09:10,447 --> 00:09:11,965
Could have been British.
238
00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:13,758
Alas, that mine only son
239
00:09:13,826 --> 00:09:17,481
should sink into an
irreversible, permanent
240
00:09:17,551 --> 00:09:19,344
[ whispers]:
coma.
241
00:09:19,413 --> 00:09:20,861
Permanent?
242
00:09:20,931 --> 00:09:22,654
That's completely out
of character for Antonio.
243
00:09:22,724 --> 00:09:23,895
I'm getting up.
244
00:09:23,965 --> 00:09:26,379
Curse the tragic wildebeest
accident that...
245
00:09:26,447 --> 00:09:27,826
[ rapping]:
♪ Hey, everyone! ♪
246
00:09:27,895 --> 00:09:30,413
♪ Antonio here, but you
can call me Bender ♪
247
00:09:30,481 --> 00:09:33,000
♪ I got ants in my butt
and I needs to strut ♪
248
00:09:33,067 --> 00:09:34,688
♪ Come on, baby, do, ah, do ♪
249
00:09:34,758 --> 00:09:36,136
[ puffing]
250
00:09:36,206 --> 00:09:39,102
♪ Dee, dah, doda, booba,
dah, boo, come on ♪
251
00:09:39,172 --> 00:09:40,654
♪ Do, dee,
bee, bah, boo... ♪
252
00:09:40,724 --> 00:09:45,102
I'm... not familiar with
the type of thing I'm seeing.
253
00:09:45,172 --> 00:09:46,895
♪ Bite my shiny metal ass ♪
254
00:09:46,965 --> 00:09:48,826
♪ Ooh, yeah, come on,
baby, yeah ♪
255
00:09:48,895 --> 00:09:50,688
♪ Ooh, uh, come on, yeah... ♪
256
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:51,931
Cut!
257
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,793
That's the worst coma acting
I've ever seen!
258
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,274
We'll have to shoot it again.
259
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:58,481
No. No, no, no,
I don't do two takes.
260
00:09:58,551 --> 00:09:59,379
But this guy was...
261
00:09:59,447 --> 00:10:01,724
Amateurs like you
do two takes.
262
00:10:01,793 --> 00:10:02,965
Ido one take.
263
00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:04,000
Print it.
264
00:10:04,067 --> 00:10:06,481
I'll be in my
three-story trailer.
265
00:10:08,309 --> 00:10:09,654
♪ Bite my shiny metal ass ♪
266
00:10:09,724 --> 00:10:11,172
♪ Ooh, yeah,
come on, baby, yeah ♪
267
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,654
♪ Ooh, uh, come on, yeah... ♪
268
00:10:13,724 --> 00:10:15,551
Now that'shospital dancing.
269
00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:16,826
Pretty good, eh, Calcy?
270
00:10:16,895 --> 00:10:18,206
Good?
271
00:10:18,274 --> 00:10:21,413
I've seen better acting from
extras in Godzilla movies.
272
00:10:21,481 --> 00:10:24,379
CALCULON:
I don't even remember shooting
this scene.
273
00:10:24,447 --> 00:10:26,000
We didn't.
274
00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:28,758
That's security camera
footage from your
dressing room.
275
00:10:28,826 --> 00:10:30,654
He stole the scene
andmy money?
276
00:10:30,724 --> 00:10:31,931
That's it!
277
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,379
I demand you fire
this felonious ham!
278
00:10:33,447 --> 00:10:35,413
[ alarm sounding]
279
00:10:35,481 --> 00:10:37,931
The network execubots
are coming!
280
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,309
Oh, dear God!
281
00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:47,000
Presenting the president
of the network.
282
00:10:53,344 --> 00:10:54,551
Greetings, gentlemen.
283
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:56,344
You already know my execubots.
284
00:10:56,413 --> 00:10:57,620
Executive Alpha,
programmed
285
00:10:57,688 --> 00:10:59,240
to like things it
has seen before.
286
00:10:59,309 --> 00:11:00,413
Hey, hey, hey.
287
00:11:00,481 --> 00:11:02,688
Executive Beta,
programmed to roll dice
288
00:11:02,758 --> 00:11:04,274
to determine the fall schedule.
289
00:11:06,413 --> 00:11:07,758
More reality shows.
290
00:11:07,826 --> 00:11:08,965
And Executive Gamma
291
00:11:09,033 --> 00:11:11,067
programmed to underestimate
middle America.
292
00:11:11,136 --> 00:11:14,309
It's funny, but is it going to
get them off their tractors?
293
00:11:14,379 --> 00:11:17,965
Now, who put this obnoxious
dancing robot on my network?
294
00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:19,586
We were about to fire him, sir.
295
00:11:19,654 --> 00:11:21,102
Silence, hack!
296
00:11:21,172 --> 00:11:23,724
We've been monitoring our
Nielsen families carefully
297
00:11:23,793 --> 00:11:26,620
and during the 12 seconds Bender
was onscreen
298
00:11:26,688 --> 00:11:29,793
viewer eyeball focus was up 90%.
299
00:11:29,861 --> 00:11:31,724
[ dog panting]
300
00:11:31,793 --> 00:11:34,033
But, sir, children
watch this show.
301
00:11:34,102 --> 00:11:35,688
Bender's no role model.
302
00:11:35,758 --> 00:11:37,206
He's a filth monger.
303
00:11:37,274 --> 00:11:39,447
At our network,
we love filth.
304
00:11:39,517 --> 00:11:41,379
Filthy rich, that is.
305
00:11:41,447 --> 00:11:44,413
Being filthy rich, that is.
306
00:11:44,481 --> 00:11:45,724
[ laughing]
307
00:11:45,793 --> 00:11:48,274
[ electrical buzzing]
308
00:11:48,344 --> 00:11:51,206
[ all laughing]
309
00:11:51,274 --> 00:11:54,447
"Bite my shiny metal ass"
could be a catch-phrase.
310
00:11:54,517 --> 00:11:55,447
80% likely.
311
00:11:55,517 --> 00:11:56,861
It will play in Peoria.
312
00:11:56,931 --> 00:11:59,309
Game shows are back.
313
00:11:59,379 --> 00:12:03,033
We need this edgy, sweeps-ready
robot on our network.
314
00:12:03,102 --> 00:12:06,447
Bender, can you continue
to drink, smoke
315
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:08,172
and steal things on TV?
316
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:09,586
Yes, I can.
317
00:12:09,654 --> 00:12:12,447
♪ We're gonna have
a TV party tonight ♪
318
00:12:12,517 --> 00:12:13,861
♪ All right♪
319
00:12:13,931 --> 00:12:18,688
♪ We're gonna have
a TV party, all right! ♪
320
00:12:18,758 --> 00:12:19,861
♪ All right!♪
321
00:12:19,931 --> 00:12:24,724
♪ We've got nothing better
to do ♪
322
00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:28,931
♪ Than watch TV
and have a couple of brews ♪
323
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,861
Gonna shoot things.
324
00:12:30,931 --> 00:12:33,758
♪ All our friends are gonna
hang out here tonight ♪
325
00:12:33,826 --> 00:12:35,793
♪ All right!♪
326
00:12:35,861 --> 00:12:38,758
♪ We'll pass out on the couch,
all right! ♪
327
00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:40,724
[ laughing]
328
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:44,240
Yo, check out what
I jacked from my dad.
329
00:12:44,309 --> 00:12:45,274
A cigar?
330
00:12:45,344 --> 00:12:46,447
Ripping.
331
00:12:48,586 --> 00:12:51,240
[ deep voice]:
Look, I'm Bender.
332
00:12:51,309 --> 00:12:52,240
[ gags]
333
00:12:52,309 --> 00:12:54,067
[ retching]
334
00:12:54,136 --> 00:12:55,172
[ grunts]
335
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:58,861
Ras H. Tafari,
what's going on here?!
336
00:12:58,931 --> 00:13:00,620
The ruffians smoked
337
00:13:00,688 --> 00:13:02,688
one of your cigars.
338
00:13:02,758 --> 00:13:03,965
that's not a cigar!
339
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,688
Uh... and it's not mine.
340
00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:09,309
Hey, Dad, bite
my shiny metal ass!
341
00:13:09,379 --> 00:13:10,793
What?
342
00:13:10,861 --> 00:13:13,724
Such an act would be most
uncomfortable for both of us.
343
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,724
Where did you learn
such language?
344
00:13:15,793 --> 00:13:17,758
From Bender,
my good jerkwad.
345
00:13:17,826 --> 00:13:19,067
Bender, eh?
346
00:13:19,136 --> 00:13:22,240
That guy's really
starting to twist my dreds.
347
00:13:24,274 --> 00:13:25,102
Okay, okay, okay.
348
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,240
Get ready for this part.
349
00:13:26,309 --> 00:13:27,206
Quiet, robot.
350
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,551
Bender's on TV.
351
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:30,586
Oh, Calculon
352
00:13:30,654 --> 00:13:32,758
it's so good to get
away from the city
353
00:13:32,826 --> 00:13:35,067
and that beastly yet
intriguing Bender.
354
00:13:35,136 --> 00:13:36,067
[ gasps]
355
00:13:36,136 --> 00:13:39,274
[ gulping]
356
00:13:39,344 --> 00:13:40,481
Whoo!
357
00:13:40,551 --> 00:13:42,724
And try this, kids at home.
358
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:46,000
Is television
sensation Bender
359
00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:48,688
a bad role model
for Earth's children?
360
00:13:48,758 --> 00:13:50,861
[ gasps]:
That's crazy.
361
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:54,206
A new protest group,
Father's Against Rude Television
362
00:13:54,274 --> 00:13:55,517
says, "Hell, yes."
363
00:13:55,586 --> 00:13:57,067
[ scoffs]:
What kind of bozos
364
00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:59,102
would start
a Bender protest group?
365
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,620
Good news, everyone.
366
00:14:00,688 --> 00:14:04,688
Hermes and I have started
a Bender protest group.
367
00:14:04,758 --> 00:14:06,067
That was uncanny.
368
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,758
Fathers Against
Rude Television
369
00:14:07,826 --> 00:14:11,379
don't want our kids watching
Bender's high-definition filth.
370
00:14:11,447 --> 00:14:12,309
And for what?
371
00:14:12,379 --> 00:14:14,309
Some kind of cheap laugh?
372
00:14:14,379 --> 00:14:17,309
That's not what F.A.R.T.
is all about.
373
00:14:17,379 --> 00:14:19,688
No, sir.
Not us FARTers.
374
00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:21,620
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You can't censor me
375
00:14:21,688 --> 00:14:24,206
just 'cause I'm an
obscenely bad role model.
376
00:14:24,274 --> 00:14:27,136
As unclean as it makes me feel,
I agree with Bender.
377
00:14:27,206 --> 00:14:30,000
Kids don't turn rotten
just from watching TV.
378
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:33,136
Yeah, give a little credit
to our public schools.
379
00:14:37,102 --> 00:14:38,517
[ groans]
380
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:42,102
Our dads are all pumped up
on dorkosterone.
381
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,620
We're just trying to
be cool, like Bender.
382
00:14:44,688 --> 00:14:46,413
Yeah, and it's
not even working.
383
00:14:46,481 --> 00:14:48,551
Smoking and drinking
make us barf.
384
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:52,274
Gentle jerkwads, I know how to
emulate Bender without barfing.
385
00:14:52,344 --> 00:14:53,895
We could commit a burglary.
386
00:14:53,965 --> 00:14:54,931
Hey, yeah!
387
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,586
Bender loves to burgle.
388
00:14:56,654 --> 00:14:58,172
Hold up, though.
Who could we rob?
389
00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,447
We don't even know anyone
with cool stuff.
390
00:15:00,517 --> 00:15:05,379
Duh! We know someone who runs on
pure cool fuel-- Bender.
391
00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:06,136
Whoa!
392
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,447
We'll rob Bender.
393
00:15:07,517 --> 00:15:08,481
[ laughing]
394
00:15:08,551 --> 00:15:11,379
TV gave us the idea.
395
00:15:11,447 --> 00:15:13,379
BENDER:
You're watchingFuturama--
396
00:15:13,447 --> 00:15:17,586
the show that does not advocate the cool crime of robbery.
397
00:15:25,344 --> 00:15:29,481
Okay, it's crime time.
398
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:37,758
[ slurping]
399
00:15:37,826 --> 00:15:38,931
[ gulping]
400
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,688
Hey, Bender.
401
00:15:41,688 --> 00:15:43,274
Hey, Bender.
402
00:15:44,551 --> 00:15:45,861
Hey, Bender.
403
00:15:45,931 --> 00:15:47,274
[ Dwight grunting]
404
00:15:47,344 --> 00:15:48,620
[ phone ringing]
405
00:15:48,688 --> 00:15:50,033
Hey, Bender.
406
00:15:50,102 --> 00:15:52,033
♪ Bust it ♪
407
00:15:52,102 --> 00:15:54,447
[ upbeat music playing]
408
00:15:54,517 --> 00:15:56,895
[ lively party chatter
and laughter]
409
00:15:56,965 --> 00:15:58,793
[ music, laughter
and chatter continuing]
410
00:16:00,344 --> 00:16:01,551
[ laughter]
411
00:16:03,586 --> 00:16:04,895
[ retching]
412
00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:07,481
♪ Okay, smarty, go to a party ♪
413
00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:10,000
♪ Girls are scantily clad
and showin' body ♪
414
00:16:10,067 --> 00:16:11,000
♪ A chick walks by... ♪
415
00:16:11,067 --> 00:16:12,000
[ gasps]
416
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:13,136
[ record scratching]
417
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,447
What's going on in here?
418
00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:19,136
Oh, now I'm really outraged.
419
00:16:19,206 --> 00:16:21,102
Where did you
requisition
this party?
420
00:16:21,172 --> 00:16:23,274
And Zoidberg, what are
you doing here?
421
00:16:23,344 --> 00:16:24,517
I'm networking.
422
00:16:24,586 --> 00:16:26,586
Let me give you my card.
423
00:16:26,654 --> 00:16:30,000
Relax, Dad, we just invited
a few friends over.
424
00:16:30,067 --> 00:16:31,102
Hmm...
425
00:16:31,172 --> 00:16:33,551
There's something wrong
with your story
426
00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:35,688
but I can't put my finger on it.
427
00:16:35,758 --> 00:16:38,758
[ gasping]:
Of course, you don't have
friends.
428
00:16:38,826 --> 00:16:40,517
Yeah, why do these
popular kids
429
00:16:40,586 --> 00:16:42,654
consider you cool
all of a sudden?
430
00:16:42,724 --> 00:16:44,517
Um, we're just cool is all.
431
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:45,931
Balderdash!
432
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,793
I'll be the judge of who's cool,
using the Coolometer.
433
00:16:49,861 --> 00:16:52,724
[ beeping]
434
00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:56,793
[ beeping stops]
435
00:16:56,861 --> 00:17:00,586
[ beeping]
436
00:17:00,654 --> 00:17:02,758
[ beeping rapidly]
437
00:17:02,826 --> 00:17:04,309
Oh, yeah.
438
00:17:04,378 --> 00:17:08,619
Good Lord, I'm getting a reading
of over 40 megafonzies.
439
00:17:08,689 --> 00:17:09,689
Everybody out!
440
00:17:09,758 --> 00:17:10,931
[ kids groaning, grumbling]
441
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,826
So, do you guys know about
anything else going on?
442
00:17:14,895 --> 00:17:18,103
Because I'm totally
still ready to party.
443
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:23,172
There's enough cool stuff here
to furnish a happening pad.
444
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,689
Where did it all come from?
445
00:17:24,758 --> 00:17:26,275
Don't tell, comrades.
446
00:17:26,344 --> 00:17:28,378
All for one
and one for all!
447
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:30,723
[ crying]:
We stole it.
448
00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:31,895
Oh, crumb.
449
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:34,654
[ yawning]
450
00:17:34,723 --> 00:17:35,862
What?
451
00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:37,309
What's going on?
452
00:17:37,378 --> 00:17:38,654
I'll tell you what.
453
00:17:38,723 --> 00:17:40,792
Our boys have taken up
stealing--
454
00:17:40,862 --> 00:17:43,378
one of the worst
and coolest of crimes.
455
00:17:43,448 --> 00:17:46,550
And all from watching
you on TV, you cool jerk.
456
00:17:46,619 --> 00:17:47,550
Hey, lay off me.
457
00:17:47,619 --> 00:17:48,931
TV would stink
458
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,309
if everyone on it was
a positive role model.
459
00:17:51,378 --> 00:17:53,413
Bender is about
entertainment, baby.
460
00:17:53,481 --> 00:17:55,103
You can't
hold me responsible
461
00:17:55,172 --> 00:17:56,619
for what kids do when...
462
00:17:56,689 --> 00:17:59,034
Hey, this is my stuff
they stole!
463
00:17:59,103 --> 00:18:00,619
That's the last straw!
464
00:18:00,689 --> 00:18:03,619
Bender should not be
allowed on television!
465
00:18:03,689 --> 00:18:04,931
[ angry shouting]
466
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,205
BENDER:
Bender must be stopped.
467
00:18:07,275 --> 00:18:08,517
I've gone too far.
468
00:18:08,586 --> 00:18:10,550
Who does that guy think I am?
469
00:18:10,619 --> 00:18:12,448
[ shouting agreement]
470
00:18:12,517 --> 00:18:16,067
Come on, we're going to march
all the way to Hollywood
471
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:20,136
and make them stop forcing their
filthy me down our throats.
472
00:18:20,205 --> 00:18:23,136
[ shouting continues]
473
00:18:23,205 --> 00:18:26,586
[ chanting]:
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
474
00:18:39,275 --> 00:18:42,758
[ all chanting]:
Down with Bender!
Down with Bender!
475
00:18:42,826 --> 00:18:44,792
Down with Bender!
476
00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:46,172
Down with Bender!
477
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:47,309
This mob's with me.
478
00:18:47,378 --> 00:18:48,448
Go ahead.
479
00:18:48,517 --> 00:18:51,309
Down with Bender!
Down with Bender!
480
00:18:51,378 --> 00:18:54,550
Down with Bender!
Down with Bender!
481
00:18:54,619 --> 00:18:56,136
Down with...
482
00:18:59,413 --> 00:19:00,448
...Bender!
483
00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:01,826
Down with Bender!
484
00:19:01,895 --> 00:19:05,758
As a doctor and captain
of this hospital ship
485
00:19:05,826 --> 00:19:08,205
I now pronounce you
man and wife
486
00:19:08,275 --> 00:19:10,481
with six months to live.
487
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:13,240
Listen up,
Hollywood.
488
00:19:13,309 --> 00:19:14,550
We're an exciting new mob.
489
00:19:14,619 --> 00:19:15,619
[ all agreeing]
490
00:19:15,689 --> 00:19:17,103
HERMES:
You better believe it.
491
00:19:17,172 --> 00:19:18,481
Great Shatner's ghost!
492
00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:22,275
We demand that all TV
be equipped with a B-chip
493
00:19:22,344 --> 00:19:24,586
that blocks Bender
from appearing on the screen.
494
00:19:24,654 --> 00:19:26,000
[ all agreeing]
495
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:31,931
I'm afraid the answer is a
gritty, in-your-face no.
496
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,034
Then I quit.
497
00:19:33,103 --> 00:19:34,517
Then you don't quit.
498
00:19:37,689 --> 00:19:40,792
I think you'll be finishing
the scene now, Mr. Bender
499
00:19:40,862 --> 00:19:42,689
and don't skimp on the nasty.
500
00:19:42,758 --> 00:19:44,517
There'll be no
further nasty.
501
00:19:44,586 --> 00:19:47,826
We still have the option
of resorting to violence.
502
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,862
What makes you think
that will work?
503
00:19:49,931 --> 00:19:54,172
I saw it on TV in that episode
where Bender shot Calculon.
504
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,723
How cool was that.
505
00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:56,862
♪ Ooh, yeah, come on... ♪
506
00:19:56,931 --> 00:19:58,172
[ sputtering]
507
00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,378
Quit the show.
508
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,862
Do the scene.
509
00:20:00,931 --> 00:20:02,931
I'm a cold-blooded punk.
510
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,619
I once put a laugh track on a
sitcom that had no jokes in it.
511
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:08,964
Hey, look, the prop guy
has a lamp.
512
00:20:09,034 --> 00:20:10,205
Whuh...?
Really?
513
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:11,517
Aha!
514
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,240
I was using that.
515
00:20:13,309 --> 00:20:15,895
Listen up, 'cause I've got
a climatic speech.
516
00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:18,378
You, cameraman,
keep the camera rolling.
517
00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:20,689
You, director,
give me my motivation.
518
00:20:20,758 --> 00:20:21,586
You're angry.
519
00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:22,723
Perfect.
520
00:20:22,792 --> 00:20:24,481
Viewers of the world
521
00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:28,103
do smoking and drinking on TV
really make me cool?
522
00:20:28,172 --> 00:20:30,448
Of course they do.
523
00:20:30,517 --> 00:20:32,689
How about committing
crimes and violence?
524
00:20:32,758 --> 00:20:34,378
Again, the answer is yes.
525
00:20:34,448 --> 00:20:36,826
But do we really want
our kids exposed
526
00:20:36,895 --> 00:20:38,689
to that kind of trash on TV?
527
00:20:38,758 --> 00:20:41,275
I say absolutely not.
528
00:20:42,792 --> 00:20:44,413
[ clearing throat]
529
00:20:44,481 --> 00:20:48,689
Uh... on the other hand,
most... perhaps all the blame
530
00:20:48,758 --> 00:20:50,103
rests with the parents.
531
00:20:50,172 --> 00:20:51,586
That's right, you.
532
00:20:51,654 --> 00:20:53,619
[ all gasping]
533
00:20:53,689 --> 00:20:57,067
And so I ask you
this one question:
534
00:20:57,136 --> 00:21:01,136
Have you ever tried simply
turning off the TV
535
00:21:01,205 --> 00:21:05,000
sitting down with your children
and hitting them?
536
00:21:05,067 --> 00:21:07,000
We're just so busy.
537
00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:08,344
Well, make time.
538
00:21:08,413 --> 00:21:09,826
And... cut.
539
00:21:09,895 --> 00:21:11,586
Good enough.
540
00:21:11,654 --> 00:21:13,654
Splice in some
reaction shots of me
541
00:21:13,723 --> 00:21:15,275
and shove it
on the air.
542
00:21:17,792 --> 00:21:21,067
Have you ever tried
simply turning off the TV
543
00:21:21,136 --> 00:21:24,931
sitting down with your children
and hitting them?
544
00:21:26,517 --> 00:21:28,448
Well, I'd say we all
learned a valuable lesson
545
00:21:28,517 --> 00:21:30,344
about TV there.
546
00:21:30,413 --> 00:21:31,723
What was it?
547
00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:35,931
Uh, that we should all take TV
a little less seriously.
548
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,895
And more importantly,
turn it off once in a while.
549
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,964
Hear! Hear!
Darn right.
550
00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:43,000
So, should we turn it off now?
551
00:21:43,067 --> 00:21:46,309
Well, uh... that depends
what's on.
552
00:21:46,378 --> 00:21:47,205
[ control beeping]
553
00:21:47,275 --> 00:21:48,586
Nothing good.
554
00:21:48,654 --> 00:21:52,205
Eh, let's just
keep watching.
555
00:21:57,309 --> 00:21:58,931
BENDER:
♪ TV party tonight ♪
556
00:21:59,000 --> 00:21:59,895
PROFESSOR:
Whuh?
557
00:21:59,964 --> 00:22:02,309
♪ TV party tonight ♪
558
00:22:02,378 --> 00:22:05,344
LEELA:
♪ We've got
nothing better to do ♪
559
00:22:05,413 --> 00:22:08,550
♪ Than watch TV
and have a couple of brews♪
560
00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:12,275
ZOIDBERG:
♪ Don't want to talk
about anything else ♪
561
00:22:12,344 --> 00:22:14,826
FRY:
♪ We don't want to know ♪
562
00:22:14,895 --> 00:22:16,964
PROFESSOR:
♪ We're dedicated... ♪
563
00:22:17,034 --> 00:22:19,448
HERMES:
♪ To our favorite shows: ♪
564
00:22:19,517 --> 00:22:21,240
CUBERT:
♪ All my Circuits♪
565
00:22:21,309 --> 00:22:23,240
DWIGHT:
♪ Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad♪
566
00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:25,275
TINNY TIM:
♪ Scary Door♪
567
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:27,275
BENDER:
♪ Futurama.♪
38541
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