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ANNOUNCER:
Prepare for
the stereophonic experience.
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00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:06,274
( beatboxing theme song )
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00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:14,381
BENDER:
Ah, New New York City!
4
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,754
BENDER:
Don't worry about it.
5
00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:24,957
Do the robot, baby!
6
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:44,811
Oh, Lord, hiking is always
such a strain on the buttocks.
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00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,816
Shh. What was
that sound?
8
00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:50,651
It wasn't a bird's nest falling.
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00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:51,984
That sounds like this.
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00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,054
( chirping )
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00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,158
Aw, they're so cute
when they're scared.
12
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,093
I meant the sound
Bigfoot just made.
13
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:01,262
He's been sighted a lot
in this area recently.
14
00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:03,731
Just last week,
a blind hiker
felt him.
15
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:06,634
Don't tell me you
actually believe in Bigfoot
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00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,301
you blathering ninnyhammer.
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00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,469
Of course I do.
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00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:10,903
Bigfoot's my hero.
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00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:13,740
Growing up, he was the celebrity
I most identified with.
20
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:14,608
Why?
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00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:15,643
'Cause he was a loner
22
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,177
who hated the popular monsters
23
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,245
yet longed to be one.
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00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:21,814
I can so relate to that.
25
00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:23,317
( crying )
26
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,686
Ugh, enough emotions.
27
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:28,489
This isn't a fat camp,
for God's sake.
28
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,823
Although you wouldn't
know it from looking.
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00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,665
( loud clanging )
30
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,168
( sighs )
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00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:43,971
Bender, if you want to sleep
in a tent tonight
32
00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:46,140
you're welcome
to join me and Hermes
33
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,376
for a little
"just friends" spooning.
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00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:51,278
Nah, I'm comfy out
here under the stars.
35
00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:53,213
Whoa! Whoa!
36
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:54,948
Real comfy.
37
00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:59,520
Hi. I'm Ranger Park
the park ranger.
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00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,453
I get it.
39
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:01,388
Now, since this area's
40
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:02,722
a national Bigfoot preserve
41
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:04,692
we'll start with a short film
about Bigfoot
42
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,326
while I make a few phone calls.
43
00:02:08,961 --> 00:02:13,066
ANNOUNCER:
Bigfoot... Endangered Mystery.
44
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:17,003
In the dense forests
of the Pacific Northwest
45
00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,072
dwells the strange
and beautiful creature
46
00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:20,408
known as Bigfoot, perhaps.
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00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:21,542
That proves it.
48
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,843
Sadly, logging
and human settlement
49
00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:27,046
today threaten what might
possibly be his habitat
50
00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:29,682
although if it's not,
they don't.
51
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:32,819
Bigfoot populations require
vast amounts of land
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00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,322
to remain elusive in.
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00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,689
They typically dwell
just behind rocks
54
00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:38,658
but are also sometimes playful
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00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,527
bounding into thick fogs
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00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,195
and out-of-focus areas.
57
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:45,533
It should say "top quality
exercycle for sale."
58
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:48,368
And could you put
"top quality" in bold?
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00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:49,870
You can't? Okay, whatever.
60
00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:52,171
Remember, it's up to us.
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00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:55,742
Bigfoot is a crucial part
of the ecosystem, if he exists.
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00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,878
So, let's all help
keep Bigfoot possibly alive
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00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:02,915
for future generations to
enjoy, unless he doesn't exist.
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00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:08,055
All right,
I got to call you back.
65
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:09,223
All right, questions?
66
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:12,192
Yeah. Have yous
ever seens Bigfeet?
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00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:13,426
Technically, no.
68
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,962
But I do see him each night
in my dreams
69
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:19,533
and each day in the smiling
faces of hairy children.
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00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:20,967
Bunk! Bunk, I say.
71
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:25,038
Bring me a bag full of Bigfoot's
droppings or shut up!
72
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,939
I have the droppings
of someone who saw Bigfoot.
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00:03:27,039 --> 00:03:27,941
Shut up!
74
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,810
Oh, my God. Look, it's Bigfoot!
75
00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:30,644
Where?
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00:03:30,743 --> 00:03:31,978
Ah, he's gone.
77
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,247
He said you should keep
wasting your life though.
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00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:38,085
Oh, I saw Bigfoot crushing cars
at the county fair.
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00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:40,788
What you saw was Bigfoot
the monster truck.
80
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,389
But thanks for a great question.
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00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:43,890
( mumbling ):
Oh...
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00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:45,425
Sir, if I may?
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00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,995
Why don't you just set up,
like, a billion video cameras
84
00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:50,062
in the woods
and see if he walks by one.
85
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,265
Ah, that would be very expensive
86
00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:55,668
and most people who believe
in Bigfoot are broke.
87
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,805
Hey, look, Bigfoot, he's back!
88
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:58,472
Where?!
89
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,473
Up your face.
90
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:01,808
( laughing )
91
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,443
Everybody do the Bender.
92
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,948
( crickets chirping )
93
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:10,318
The sky out here is amazing.
94
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:12,185
Look at all
the satellites.
95
00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:22,295
Good night, employees.
96
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,630
Good night.
97
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,766
Good night, Hubert.
98
00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:29,870
You doing all right out there,
buddy?
99
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:32,004
Better than these gnats.
100
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,007
( electronic zapping )
101
00:04:34,106 --> 00:04:35,509
( laughs )
102
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,978
That guy won't be going
home to his kids.
103
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:45,117
( shivering )
104
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,653
( owl hooting )
105
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:48,021
What's that? A wolf?
106
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,656
Or some kind of boogen?
107
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:52,225
Oh, God, I wish I was safe
inside a tent.
108
00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:56,062
( fake voice ):
Fry! Fry, wake up.
109
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:57,465
It's me, Bigface.
110
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,867
Come out and groom
my mangy fur.
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00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,168
( gasps )
112
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:03,235
Bigfoot? You taught
yourself English?
113
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:05,838
Bigfoot?
114
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,341
Bigfoot?!
115
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,377
( chuckles )
116
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:18,485
( snoring )
117
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,420
( mumbling in sleep )
118
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,889
FRY:
Bigfoot, is that you?
119
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,658
I'm not like the others,
Bigfoot.
120
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,360
I see through
your monster coating
121
00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:27,827
to the gentle loner inside.
122
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,829
I bet you have
a wounded raccoon friend
123
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:32,665
that you tenderly nurse back
to health while you go...
124
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,266
( cooing )
125
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:37,504
But in the end they shoot you,
but you teach us about things.
126
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:42,942
( chirping )
127
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,879
( loud roaring )
128
00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:48,081
( wind whistling )
129
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,922
( gasps )
130
00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:58,257
Oh, just a flying saucer.
131
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,192
Excuse me. You can't park here.
132
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:02,095
The parking area is over there.
133
00:06:02,194 --> 00:06:05,798
( beeping and whirring )
134
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,968
Wow, nice tube.
135
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,805
Well... hey, hey,
what's the big idea?
136
00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:13,040
Stop abducting me!
137
00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:15,709
Why does your vanity plate
say "Probe 1"?
138
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:20,146
Heeeellllp!
139
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:26,586
( birds chirping )
140
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:27,588
( sighs )
141
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:31,158
( all yawning )
142
00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:33,494
There's nothing so refreshing
143
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:37,831
as the clean, crisp taste
of this bold, Canadian beer.
144
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,800
Well, see you in an hour.
145
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:42,334
I got to go do some business
behind that tree.
146
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,778
( zipper rasping,
Bender grunting )
147
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:52,913
Come on, you!
148
00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:54,014
( yells )
149
00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:55,816
Bender, wasn't that
Fry's tent?
150
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,317
( mockingly ):
Wasn't that Fry's tent?
151
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,088
Bender raises
a good point.
152
00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,322
Where is Fry?
153
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,591
( panting )
154
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,463
( chattering )
155
00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:14,701
Amy, you won't believe
what happened!
156
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,435
It was so scary
that you wouldn't...
157
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:18,004
( screams )
158
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,641
I know, but listen,
it gets even scarier.
159
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:23,543
Fry, what in Sega Genesis
happened to you?
160
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:26,278
That's what I'm trying
to tell you. See...
161
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,682
Why are you all staring
at me like that?
162
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,850
Is there something on my face?
163
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,151
Uh, no.
164
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:35,122
Someone should tell him.
165
00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:36,990
Tell me what?
Nothing.
166
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:41,394
Well, I have a lot of experience
telling patients bad news
167
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,797
so let me break it
to him gently.
168
00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:46,500
Fry, you have no nose!
169
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,134
Your nose is gone!
170
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:49,970
You have no nose
on your face!
171
00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:51,471
Where it is,
I can't say
172
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,874
but on your face it's not.
173
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,975
What?
174
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,177
( shrieks )
175
00:07:57,276 --> 00:07:58,545
Aw, I think it's sweet.
176
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,079
You chopped off your nose
177
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,882
so you could look more like
your hero-- me, Bender.
178
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,552
My God, they must have
taken it last night.
179
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:06,586
Which last night?
180
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,387
In the woods.
I was walking.
181
00:08:08,487 --> 00:08:09,923
For Big Foot, looking.
182
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,858
And then aliens beamed me up.
183
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:14,827
Were they little gray dudes
with the big oval heads?
184
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,665
I don't get that gesture.
Am I wrong?
185
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:20,167
Cheer up, friend.
186
00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:23,670
When we get home,
a high-quality prosthesis
187
00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:26,406
will have you looking
good as new.
188
00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:28,507
I'm a pathetic freak.
189
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:30,177
My life is ruined.
190
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:31,511
( laughs )
191
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:34,715
Man, you are such a jokester.
192
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:37,717
I'll never have another moment
of happiness.
193
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:42,590
( all laughing )
194
00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:45,192
I know you're trying
to mask your pain
with humor
195
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,594
but don't worry.
196
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,928
I'm sure the Professor
can clone you a new nose.
197
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,230
It wouldn't be the same;
I want my nose.
198
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,466
I don't want to have
to teach a new one
199
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,368
how to shoot milk when I laugh.
200
00:08:55,467 --> 00:08:57,904
Well, there's
no sense fretting.
201
00:08:58,004 --> 00:08:59,807
Good lord, you're ugly.
202
00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:01,307
The fact is
your nose is gone
203
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,543
and we'll never find out
who did it or why.
204
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,544
( hatch opens )
205
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:08,315
Guys, guys, there's something
on television!
206
00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:12,653
Alien abductions--
until now a harmless nuisance
207
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:15,989
but recently they've taken on
a sinister dimension
208
00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:19,292
as unsuspecting victims
are returned without noses.
209
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,460
Like me.
210
00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,995
The culprits:
shameless poachers
211
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,965
hunting humans
without a permit.
212
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,600
The valuable nose--
or "human horn"--
213
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:31,403
fetches a high price
on alien worlds as an
aphrodisiac.
214
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,505
My nose is an aphrodisiac?
215
00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:34,607
( groans )
216
00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:36,143
I'm gonna drop a barf!
217
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,345
Demand for human horn is great
218
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,681
due in part
to titillating scenes
219
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:45,284
from depraved alien TV programs
too filthy for Earth broadcast.
220
00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:46,119
Let's watch.
221
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,155
( gasps )
222
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,157
Human horn?
223
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,192
But it is forbidden.
224
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:55,028
So is our love.
225
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:05,272
( moaning )
226
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:06,807
Blech!
227
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,542
We have to track down my nose
before some aliens snarfs it
228
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,144
and does The Worm. Who's in?
229
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:14,114
Me and Bender
and maybe Zoidberg
if he feels like it.
230
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,514
Nah, I'm good.
231
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,825
( crowd speaking
alien languages )
232
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:31,030
Let's see.
I'll take a pancreas,
two sphincters
233
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,231
and a large coke.
234
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:34,167
One number three combo.
235
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,568
( spit squeaking )
236
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:40,006
It's no use.
237
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:42,241
We've been to every
scuzzy bazaar
in the galaxy
238
00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:43,711
including Pottery Barn.
239
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:44,912
Wait. What's that?
240
00:10:50,482 --> 00:10:52,351
Welcome, friends.
241
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:54,520
How may I pervert you?
242
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:56,155
Uh, I'm looking for human horn.
243
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:58,725
Shh. You're
not cops, right?
244
00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,159
Of course not.
245
00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:02,394
In fact, he's a crook.
246
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,996
Yep. Stolen Pez, anyone?
247
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,668
Right this way.
248
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,206
Human horn, so fresh
249
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:17,210
you can still see
the eyeglass marks.
250
00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:19,446
Nope. Uh-uh.
251
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,413
Ooh!
252
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,082
Now, look, this is
the nose we want.
253
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:24,517
Did you sell it to somebody?
254
00:11:24,616 --> 00:11:25,684
I'm sorry, sir
255
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:29,188
but due to the perverted
nature of our business
256
00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:32,524
customer records are
strictly confidential.
257
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:33,760
( groans )
258
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,028
Right this way.
259
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:39,365
I videotape everyone
who comes in here
260
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:42,134
so I can blackmail
them later.
261
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,602
( all exclaiming )
262
00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:45,705
Hey, I'm a porno-dealing
monster.
263
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,774
What do I care what you think?
264
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:50,243
Here's the weirdo
who bought your horn.
265
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,046
( Leela gasps )
266
00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:56,249
That's Lrrr, ruler of the planet
Omicron Persei 8.
267
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,118
You got any...
you know...?
268
00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:02,322
Speak up.
You're muttering.
269
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:05,292
I said...
human horn?
270
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,094
You're not a cop, right?
271
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:09,461
Oh, no, no.
I'm just some guy...
272
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,298
ruler of the planet
Omicron Persei 8!
273
00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:26,145
So let me get this straight.
274
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:30,182
If I buy eight Caramello bars,
you all get to go to some camp?
275
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,451
Yep. That's exactly
the lie we used
276
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:33,986
to get past
your guards.
277
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,288
Oh, great space king
278
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,924
I humbly beg you
to return my human horn.
279
00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:39,927
What... human horn?
280
00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,461
How ridiculous.
281
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:45,032
Why would a virile male
like Lrrr need human horn?
282
00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:46,834
I don't even know
what it's for.
283
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,601
What is it?
Something you put
in salad dressing?
284
00:12:49,701 --> 00:12:51,337
Like you've ever
seen a salad.
285
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,673
My weight is appropriate
and attractive.
286
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,475
Whoa, you guys
have issues.
287
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,510
She has issues. I'm fine.
288
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:01,380
But there's no human horn
around here
289
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,316
so make friends with the door.
290
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,985
All right, I give up.
291
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:08,554
I guess I'll just go home
and marry a skunk.
292
00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:10,289
( sobbing )
293
00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:11,859
Oh, let's just give it to him.
294
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:12,893
Here.
295
00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,662
My nose! Light of my face!
296
00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:17,129
Uh, what is that?
297
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,399
How do you have
that, Ndnd?
298
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:20,967
I've never seen it before.
299
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,469
My friend left it here.
300
00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:25,304
Hold still, Fry.
301
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:28,008
I can reattach it
with my emergency face laser.
302
00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:30,043
( tone )
303
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,578
Hey, you burned my cheek!
304
00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:34,847
Yeah, sorry.
I wasn't really concentrating.
305
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:37,517
No, I mean the singed flesh--
I can smell it.
306
00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:38,485
( sniffs )
307
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,552
And those lilacs
on the table.
308
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,188
At least someone noticed.
309
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:44,857
For the last time,
I don't like lilacs!
310
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:47,494
Your first wife was the one
who liked lilacs.
311
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,096
She also liked to shut up.
312
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:49,996
Well, great seeing you.
313
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,163
I guess we'll be on our...
314
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,231
Yo, Highness!
315
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,866
Just out of robo curiosity
316
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:57,070
why would you use a guy's nose
for an aphrodisiac
317
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,907
instead of his, you know,
wing-dang doodle?
318
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:03,676
But I thought the horn
was the human wing-dang doodle.
319
00:14:03,775 --> 00:14:05,111
No, sir, Chief.
320
00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:08,181
The main event-- so to speak--
is downstairs, near the wallet.
321
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:11,217
You ever see soccer players
line up to block a free kick?
322
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:14,287
They ain't covering
their noses, I'll
tell you that much.
323
00:14:14,386 --> 00:14:15,355
Well, see you.
324
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:16,556
Interesting.
325
00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:20,293
The trousers conceal a tiny,
secondary horn.
326
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,360
Hey, what've you heard?
327
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,763
Guards, seize him!
328
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,067
Prepare to harvest
the lower horn.
329
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:32,072
Okay, you can have my nose.
330
00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:39,479
( whimpering )
331
00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:40,379
Guards!
332
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,413
Yeah?
333
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,149
Remove the human's
lower horn
334
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,485
and prepare it to
be eaten by me.
335
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:48,254
In other words, slop a lot
of ketchup and salt on it.
336
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,256
Then bring it to our
royal bed chamber
337
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:52,993
and put it in a sock
drawer with all the
other things
338
00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:55,761
that have failed to arouse
my passion for this woman.
339
00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:59,265
( whirring )
340
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:01,000
Remove pants.
341
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,601
Wait... listen.
342
00:15:02,701 --> 00:15:05,304
I'm usually the first guy to
toot my own lower horn, but...
343
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:06,773
I'll say. Whoo!
344
00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,475
But in this case,
I just don't think
345
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:09,676
it's going to do any good.
346
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:13,312
That's what she said. Whoo!
347
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,283
Let's face it, you two have
deep relationship problems
348
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,418
that can't be solved
by an aphrodisiac.
349
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:19,918
However huge it might be.
350
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:23,322
So what do you suggest,
painfully single human?
351
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,823
Well, why don't you think back
352
00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:27,259
to what brought you together
in the first place.
353
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,162
Oh, I don't know.
354
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:32,198
Lrrr used to be so tender.
355
00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:35,534
Oh, I only wrote that
poem to test my printer.
356
00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:37,169
We'd go walking in the woods
357
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,838
and Lrrr would find
injured little tinklebunnies
358
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:41,640
and nurse them back to health.
359
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:43,842
Yes, but I'm the one
who injured them.
360
00:15:43,942 --> 00:15:45,445
Oh, shush.
361
00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:48,780
You stepped on them by accident
and then you cried all night.
362
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,484
That's the kind of sensitive man
you used to be.
363
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,952
And you used to wear
a size three cape
364
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:55,355
but not anymore.
365
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,557
Now bring me that lower horn
while I'm still in the mood.
366
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,126
( whirring )
367
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:01,293
B-but w-w-what if we
368
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:02,828
helped you get your passion back
369
00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:04,530
without the hassle
of mutilating me?
370
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,966
Yeah. We know a great place
in the mountains.
371
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,168
We could take
you there
372
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,169
for a romantic dinner
under the stars.
373
00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:12,639
Hmm. Sounds interesting.
374
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,006
But he would never do it.
375
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:15,375
Oh, like hell I wouldn't.
376
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,677
I'm not going to be
blamed for not going.
377
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:18,711
Then it's a deal.
378
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:19,846
We get one night.
379
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,514
I keep my horn
as long as you two
380
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,682
end up doing
the horizontal Monster Mash.
381
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,652
( laughing )
382
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:28,721
Oh... I don't get it.
383
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,663
Bonjour. May I offer you
a box of wine
384
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,664
for the edge of the table?
385
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:39,665
No, thanks.
386
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:41,334
Just water, please.
387
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:42,335
Tap water.
388
00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:44,003
Oh... big spender.
389
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:45,238
That's it!
390
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,240
This date is over!
391
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,674
Waiter!
392
00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:51,077
So, what can I get
you this evening?
393
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,511
Your lower horn!
394
00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:53,846
( yelps )
395
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:56,115
Uh, I'll just start you off
with some bread--
396
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,549
some sexy, arousing bread.
397
00:16:57,649 --> 00:17:00,452
Fine, but none of that
whole-grain goat food.
398
00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:02,621
And bring plenty
of melted butter!
399
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:06,858
Ugh. Why don't you just inject
some fat straight into your ass
400
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,627
and cut out the middleman?
401
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:11,530
One of these days,
Ndnd... Bang! Zoom!
402
00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:15,134
Straight to the third moon
of Omicron Persei 8!
403
00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:21,441
( loud eating )
404
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:24,111
Mmm. This jerked chicken
is good.
405
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:27,579
I think I'll have Fry's
lower horn jerked.
406
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,083
BENDER:
It's used to it! Whoo!
407
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:31,483
( wheels squeaking )
408
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,221
So, uh, how are you two
snoogie-pookums doing?
409
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,221
Poorly!
410
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,156
My wife is right, for once.
411
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,826
There's very little magic
in the air.
412
00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:41,827
Ready the lower horn
transport vessel.
413
00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:45,897
( screams )
414
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,500
Boy, who knew a cooler
415
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:50,001
could also make
a handy wang coffin.
416
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:52,172
Mind if I stick these in here?
417
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:53,005
Go for it.
418
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:55,741
Don't worry, Fry.
419
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:56,776
Things look bad
420
00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:58,911
but I still have
a trump card...
421
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:01,780
the most beautiful love
song ever written.
422
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:10,423
* And I...
will always love you, ooh... *
423
00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:14,693
( groans and screams )
424
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,328
The humans are attacking!
425
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:19,298
Pluck the lower horn
and let's get out of here!
426
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:22,000
Quick, Fry, run for it.
427
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,170
( grunts )
428
00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:25,438
( wheels squeaking )
429
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,838
( grunts )
430
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,842
Come on, freedom cage,
roll me to safety.
431
00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:39,486
Yes! I never thought
I'd escape with my doodle
432
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:40,952
but I pulled it out.
433
00:18:41,052 --> 00:18:43,855
BENDER:
Just like
at the movie theater. Whoo!
434
00:18:43,955 --> 00:18:45,224
Give me that.
435
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,393
( screams )
436
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:03,643
( loud growl
and thundering footsteps )
437
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:07,846
Bigfoot!
438
00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:09,316
He's real. I knew it!
439
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:11,518
The Loch Ness Monster's book
was right.
440
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,856
( grunting )
441
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:21,928
Well, hello there,
my furry friend.
442
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:24,830
Look at his adorable
little feet.
443
00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:28,701
( growls ferociously )
444
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,173
( chuckles lovingly )
445
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:36,776
Yes, you are a cutie pie.
446
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:38,611
Holy macaroni!
447
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,781
I can't believe
I'm seeing Bigfoot.
448
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,182
And he's in focus.
449
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:46,853
Oh, I've waited my entire life
for this moment.
450
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:49,855
ALL:
Huh? What?
451
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,391
Hey, what are you
doing with that?
452
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:54,727
You're going to kill
this innocent giganto?
453
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:55,961
Of course not.
454
00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:57,797
I'm just going
to tranquilize him
455
00:19:57,896 --> 00:20:00,299
so I can chop off his feet
as proof he exists
456
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,101
then dump him back in the wild.
457
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,303
He'll do fine.
458
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:07,205
You'll have to get
through me first.
459
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,308
Okay. Nightie-night.
460
00:20:11,943 --> 00:20:13,313
Hey.
461
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:16,982
Now leave this gentle Sasquatch,
or wood ape, in peace
462
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,419
so I can finally
and at long last
463
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:23,055
harvest this pathetic human's
lower horn.
464
00:20:23,154 --> 00:20:24,457
Yeah! ( gasps )
465
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,157
Wait, what am I saying?
466
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:28,560
If I poach
this beast's lower horn
467
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:32,999
am I any better than that ranger
with his demented foot lust?
468
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:35,734
Yes, but not by enough.
469
00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:38,938
Score.
470
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,339
( growls softly )
471
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:44,310
This human's lower horn
is one of God's creatures--
472
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:45,612
a living thing.
473
00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:49,080
And all living things,
large and small...
474
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:51,951
BENDER:
In this case, small. Whoo!
475
00:20:52,050 --> 00:20:56,489
Have dignity
and a spark of the divine.
476
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,990
( crying )
477
00:20:59,090 --> 00:21:02,429
That's the gentle,
sensitive poet warlord
478
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:04,195
I fell in love with.
479
00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:16,008
( passionate moaning )
480
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,280
( clears throat )
481
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:26,618
LRRR:
Uh, you'll want to retreat
to a safe 500-meter radius!
482
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:32,659
Well, Fry, it looks
like you get to hold
on to your lower horn.
483
00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:34,861
As usual. Whoo!
484
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,695
Run away!
485
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:38,830
( moaning continues )
486
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:41,567
LRRR:
Oh, yeah...
487
00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:58,518
ANNOUNCER:
You are on a scenic route
488
00:21:58,617 --> 00:22:01,921
through a state recreation area
known as the human mind.
489
00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:04,356
You ask a passerby
for directions
490
00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:06,858
only to find he has no face,
or something.
491
00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:09,327
Suddenly, up ahead,
a door in the road.
492
00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:12,832
You swerve, narrowly avoiding
The Scary Door.
493
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:18,069
I have combined the DNA
of the world's most evil animals
494
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,740
to make the most evil creature
of them all.
495
00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:26,011
It turns out it's man.
34309
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