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1
00:00:32,344 --> 00:00:33,758
[ humming]
2
00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:36,240
Woo-hoo! Yeah!
3
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,689
Whoa! Ah!
4
00:00:41,033 --> 00:00:42,723
Shman! The great rad spot
5
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,965
is mega-sweet
for party-boarding!
6
00:00:45,033 --> 00:00:46,000
Indeed.
7
00:00:46,067 --> 00:00:47,551
Any calls while I was out?
8
00:00:47,619 --> 00:00:49,033
Yeah.
9
00:00:49,103 --> 00:00:52,344
You got a telesonic transmission
from Kif a couple hours ago.
10
00:00:52,412 --> 00:00:53,758
[ gasps]
11
00:00:53,826 --> 00:00:55,310
My Kiffy called?
12
00:00:55,378 --> 00:00:57,792
Kif?
13
00:00:57,862 --> 00:00:59,344
Ooh, Amy, you're back!
14
00:00:59,412 --> 00:01:01,689
Another hour and I would have
thought about hanging up.
15
00:01:01,758 --> 00:01:03,862
Why didn't you just
leave a message, sweetie?
16
00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:06,206
Well, um, I've left
hundreds of messages
17
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:07,861
with your answering machine
18
00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:09,826
but you... never
seem to get them.
19
00:01:09,896 --> 00:01:11,102
Bender!
20
00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:13,655
It's not my fault
if you don't check me.
21
00:01:13,724 --> 00:01:16,310
[ babbling]
22
00:01:16,379 --> 00:01:17,826
Messages erased.
23
00:01:17,896 --> 00:01:20,793
Oh, dearest,
this long distance relationship
24
00:01:20,861 --> 00:01:22,240
is too much to bare.
25
00:01:22,310 --> 00:01:25,965
When even an inch separates us,
I quiver with misery.
26
00:01:26,033 --> 00:01:30,412
So you can imagine how I feel
when it's a billion light-years.
27
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:31,551
[ crying]
28
00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:35,206
Kif, don't cry,
or you'll get a tummy ache.
29
00:01:35,275 --> 00:01:37,412
Lieutenant, some
things came off me
30
00:01:37,481 --> 00:01:38,758
and clogged the drain
31
00:01:38,826 --> 00:01:40,343
so if you could...
Oh-ho!
32
00:01:40,412 --> 00:01:41,412
What's this?
33
00:01:41,481 --> 00:01:42,826
[ beep]
34
00:01:42,896 --> 00:01:44,310
Well, well, well.
35
00:01:44,378 --> 00:01:46,137
Do my eyes believe me
36
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:48,930
or it that my bosomy
swan, Leela?
37
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,516
Say again?
You're breaking up.
38
00:01:52,861 --> 00:01:54,240
Oh!
39
00:01:54,310 --> 00:01:55,793
Good news, everyone!
40
00:01:55,861 --> 00:01:58,343
You'll be delivering
pain medicine
41
00:01:58,412 --> 00:02:00,930
to the Hive Mind
of Nigel Seven.
42
00:02:02,724 --> 00:02:05,000
Scruffy's rolling out
a large pill.
43
00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:06,551
You're going to Nigel 7?
44
00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:08,275
Kif's on patrol near there.
45
00:02:08,343 --> 00:02:10,171
You could drop me off
on the way.
46
00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:11,965
We could, but we won't!
47
00:02:12,033 --> 00:02:15,550
It's a spaceship, damn it,
not a prom limousine.
48
00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:19,413
Ooh! If anyone needs me,
I'll be in the angry dome.
49
00:02:19,481 --> 00:02:20,793
[ grumbling]
50
00:02:22,861 --> 00:02:25,655
[ grumbling and mumbling]
51
00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,655
LEELA:
This is a very long trip
52
00:02:29,723 --> 00:02:32,620
so we'll all have to go
into hibernative naptosis
53
00:02:32,688 --> 00:02:33,930
to save oxygen.
54
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:38,413
Aw, I don't even
breathe... oxygen.
55
00:02:42,723 --> 00:02:47,240
[ snoring]
56
00:03:03,655 --> 00:03:05,343
Here I come, Kif.
57
00:03:05,413 --> 00:03:07,723
[ laughing]
58
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,655
[ laughing]
59
00:03:14,723 --> 00:03:16,965
They jumped right out
of their pants.
60
00:03:17,033 --> 00:03:19,896
[ alarm sounds]
61
00:03:20,931 --> 00:03:22,378
Oh, what now?
62
00:03:22,448 --> 00:03:24,620
Activate glass window.
63
00:03:25,688 --> 00:03:27,481
[ gasps]
64
00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:29,000
Kif, I'm sensing a very
65
00:03:29,068 --> 00:03:31,448
sensual disturbance
in the force.
66
00:03:31,516 --> 00:03:33,965
Prepare for ship-to-ship
intimacy.
67
00:03:34,033 --> 00:03:36,000
Yes, sir, Captain.
68
00:03:47,688 --> 00:03:50,896
[ snoring]
69
00:03:50,965 --> 00:03:51,861
[ loud clang]
70
00:03:51,930 --> 00:03:53,000
[ screeching]
71
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,103
[ shrieks]
72
00:03:54,171 --> 00:03:55,620
How about I help you
finish that dream
73
00:03:55,688 --> 00:03:56,723
you were having about me?
74
00:03:56,793 --> 00:03:58,861
Okay. I was just
at this part.
75
00:03:58,930 --> 00:04:00,068
[ battle cry]
76
00:04:00,137 --> 00:04:02,000
[ groans]
77
00:04:02,068 --> 00:04:03,965
Oh... eh... let's try that
78
00:04:04,033 --> 00:04:05,965
a little lower
and a lot softer.
79
00:04:06,033 --> 00:04:07,826
Imagine you stowing away
80
00:04:07,895 --> 00:04:10,240
and stealing
a licensed starship!
81
00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:13,550
Oh, it's so romantic,
it gives me the shivers!
82
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:14,826
[ shivering]
83
00:04:14,896 --> 00:04:17,103
I don't care how
much trouble I get in.
84
00:04:17,172 --> 00:04:20,896
I needed to feel my
lips pressed against
your lipless beak.
85
00:04:22,343 --> 00:04:26,103
Oh, Amy, I can't stand having
a whole universe between us.
86
00:04:26,172 --> 00:04:28,310
I've been thinking
a lot about this
87
00:04:28,379 --> 00:04:30,689
and, well, would you
move in with me?
88
00:04:30,757 --> 00:04:32,447
Here? But, uh...
89
00:04:32,516 --> 00:04:35,000
wouldn't it be crowded?
90
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:36,103
Well, no, no.
91
00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:37,757
It's really twice the size.
92
00:04:37,826 --> 00:04:40,654
You can use the floor,
and I'll have the ceiling.
93
00:04:40,723 --> 00:04:41,723
See?
94
00:04:43,103 --> 00:04:44,274
[ giggles]
95
00:04:44,343 --> 00:04:48,000
Kif, you have so much
creativity and niceness
96
00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:50,206
but I'm not sure if I...
97
00:04:50,274 --> 00:04:53,689
Hush. Before you answer,
come thither.
98
00:04:54,723 --> 00:04:57,240
KIF:
This is the Holo-Shed.
99
00:04:57,310 --> 00:04:59,896
It can simulate
anything you desire
100
00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:01,379
and nothing can hurt you
101
00:05:01,447 --> 00:05:03,000
except when
it malfunctions
102
00:05:03,067 --> 00:05:04,826
and the holograms
become real.
103
00:05:04,896 --> 00:05:07,413
Well, that probably
won't happen this time.
104
00:05:07,482 --> 00:05:08,620
I wanted to show you
105
00:05:08,689 --> 00:05:11,000
what life could be like
if we were together.
106
00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:14,310
Computer,
run program "Kif One."
107
00:05:14,379 --> 00:05:16,240
[ whirring]
108
00:05:16,310 --> 00:05:17,481
[ gasps]
109
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:20,447
This is so beautiful!
110
00:05:20,516 --> 00:05:21,757
Spirit!
111
00:05:21,826 --> 00:05:23,723
Kif, that's the pony
I always wanted
112
00:05:23,793 --> 00:05:24,862
but my parents said
113
00:05:24,930 --> 00:05:26,620
I had too many
ponies already.
114
00:05:26,689 --> 00:05:29,137
Yes, I programmed it in
for you.
115
00:05:29,206 --> 00:05:31,379
Four million lines of BASIC.
116
00:05:31,447 --> 00:05:34,481
And-and if this isn't
the life you want
117
00:05:34,550 --> 00:05:35,723
how about this?
118
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,896
Run program "Kif Two."
119
00:05:37,965 --> 00:05:39,862
[ whirring]
120
00:05:39,930 --> 00:05:41,793
Oh, Kif!
121
00:05:41,862 --> 00:05:45,654
We could live here
at the shore of the
Tranquilibrius Sea
122
00:05:45,723 --> 00:05:46,965
in a time-share.
123
00:05:47,033 --> 00:05:49,586
And I would pluck
the moon from the sky
124
00:05:49,654 --> 00:05:51,206
just to see you smile.
125
00:05:51,274 --> 00:05:53,723
[ grunting]
126
00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:55,723
Almost got it.
127
00:05:55,793 --> 00:05:58,343
It seems to be sort of stuck.
128
00:05:58,413 --> 00:05:59,793
[ groaning]
129
00:05:59,862 --> 00:06:01,586
I love you!
130
00:06:01,654 --> 00:06:02,862
[ gurgling]
131
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:04,172
Ooh!
132
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:05,964
[ coughing]
133
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:09,964
Run program
"Kif colon slash slash three."
134
00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:11,343
[ whirring]
135
00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:12,964
[ wind blowing]
136
00:06:13,033 --> 00:06:14,310
AMY:
This isn't bad.
137
00:06:14,379 --> 00:06:16,206
My aunt had a
place like this.
138
00:06:16,274 --> 00:06:19,586
Amy, we could live in
a bus station bathroom
for all I care.
139
00:06:19,654 --> 00:06:23,206
As long as we're together,
it'll feel like a castle to me.
140
00:06:23,274 --> 00:06:27,516
Kif, I'd love to live
with you... someday.
141
00:06:27,586 --> 00:06:29,862
But before then,
there's still lots
142
00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:31,550
I want to do on my own.
143
00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:33,586
[ creaking and static]
144
00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:35,206
What was that?
145
00:06:35,274 --> 00:06:38,103
Oh, dear.
I fear the Holo-Shed
might be broken again.
146
00:06:38,172 --> 00:06:41,274
Well, as long as we don't
cross paths with Attila the...
147
00:06:41,343 --> 00:06:43,033
[ Attila roars]
148
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,550
[ Kif sighs]
149
00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:47,000
AMY:
Look... Spirit!
150
00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:48,447
[ loud, horrific neighing]
151
00:06:48,516 --> 00:06:50,103
KIF:
And there's
Professor Moriarty.
152
00:06:50,172 --> 00:06:51,689
Jack the Ripper.
153
00:06:51,757 --> 00:06:53,206
Evil Lincoln.
154
00:06:53,274 --> 00:06:55,172
[ evil laughter]
155
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:56,481
Right-o, gents.
156
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,896
It's another simulation
gone mad, so murder and mayhem.
157
00:06:59,965 --> 00:07:01,343
Standard procedure.
158
00:07:01,413 --> 00:07:04,033
[ wild yelling]
159
00:07:06,033 --> 00:07:11,000
Real holographic simulated
evil Lincoln is back!
160
00:07:11,067 --> 00:07:13,586
[ grunts]
161
00:07:13,654 --> 00:07:15,447
[ gasps][ alarm blaring]
162
00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:19,206
[ Amy whimpering]
163
00:07:19,274 --> 00:07:20,964
The Holo-Shed's
on the fritz again.
164
00:07:21,033 --> 00:07:22,550
The characters turned real!
165
00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:24,206
Damn! The last time
that happened
166
00:07:24,274 --> 00:07:26,516
I got slapped
with three paternity suits.
167
00:07:26,586 --> 00:07:28,930
[ fierce neighing]
168
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,516
Oh, my God!I want Daddy!
169
00:07:30,586 --> 00:07:33,033
Listen up, history's
greatest villains.
170
00:07:33,103 --> 00:07:36,379
Get back into the Holo-Shed
before I start blasting
171
00:07:36,447 --> 00:07:37,413
Stop!
172
00:07:37,481 --> 00:07:40,172
No shoot fire-stick
in space canoe!
173
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,757
Cause explosive decompression!
174
00:07:42,826 --> 00:07:47,413
Spare me your space-age
techno-babble, Attila the Hun.
175
00:07:47,481 --> 00:07:49,310
[ zapping]
176
00:07:49,379 --> 00:07:51,793
[ screaming]
177
00:07:54,862 --> 00:07:57,723
[ screaming]
178
00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:04,586
Hey...!
179
00:08:04,654 --> 00:08:06,586
Kif, hold on!
180
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:07,930
I totally want to!
181
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:08,862
[ gasps]
182
00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:11,654
[ grunting and groaning]
183
00:08:11,723 --> 00:08:12,723
[ yells]
184
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:13,793
Grab on!
185
00:08:13,862 --> 00:08:14,862
Over here!
186
00:08:14,930 --> 00:08:16,723
Please hold me.
Oh, dear.
187
00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,000
Have a good one.
188
00:08:18,067 --> 00:08:19,757
[ screaming]
189
00:08:20,964 --> 00:08:22,586
Ow! Oh...
190
00:08:22,654 --> 00:08:24,240
[ grunts and groans]
191
00:08:24,310 --> 00:08:25,516
Aw, man!
192
00:08:25,586 --> 00:08:29,310
Whew! After all that,
I could use some relaxation.
193
00:08:29,379 --> 00:08:31,413
I'll be in the Holo-Shed.
194
00:08:38,654 --> 00:08:41,240
[ whirring]
195
00:08:41,309 --> 00:08:43,517
Well, except for
a few broken bones
196
00:08:43,586 --> 00:08:45,206
some internal
hemorrhaging
197
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:47,240
and a partially
barfed-up heart
198
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:48,861
everyone appears fine.
199
00:08:48,931 --> 00:08:50,206
ALL:
Whew!
200
00:08:50,274 --> 00:08:52,586
Oh, and Kif is pregnant.
201
00:08:52,654 --> 00:08:53,861
[ gasps]
202
00:08:53,931 --> 00:08:55,102
[ all gasping]
203
00:08:55,172 --> 00:08:57,861
Oh, joy!
204
00:09:03,724 --> 00:09:05,447
Amy, isn't it wonderful?
205
00:09:05,517 --> 00:09:06,654
I'm pregnant.
206
00:09:06,724 --> 00:09:08,688
Yes... it's great.
207
00:09:08,758 --> 00:09:10,620
A great miracle.
208
00:09:10,688 --> 00:09:12,586
And not one of those
bogus everyday miracles
209
00:09:12,654 --> 00:09:13,793
like a sunrise.
210
00:09:13,861 --> 00:09:15,206
Aren't you a male?
211
00:09:15,274 --> 00:09:16,379
Yeah, what's the deal?
212
00:09:16,447 --> 00:09:17,517
Just when I thought
213
00:09:17,586 --> 00:09:19,172
I figured out you
biological creatures
214
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:20,413
it's something else!
215
00:09:20,481 --> 00:09:21,861
Let me at him!
216
00:09:21,931 --> 00:09:23,688
I'm going to take...
217
00:09:23,758 --> 00:09:24,861
[ Bender grunting]
218
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:26,481
Look, I'm sure we're all
219
00:09:26,551 --> 00:09:29,413
a little unclear on
how anyone gets pregnant
220
00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:31,136
so, Kif, pray explain
221
00:09:31,206 --> 00:09:34,000
and don't spare the dirty words
where appropriate.
222
00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:36,033
Well, it's quite
simple, really.
223
00:09:36,102 --> 00:09:37,517
When one of my species
224
00:09:37,586 --> 00:09:39,654
experiences deep
feelings of love
225
00:09:39,724 --> 00:09:42,586
we enter a so-called
"receptive state."
226
00:09:42,654 --> 00:09:45,033
You disgust me. Go on.
227
00:09:45,102 --> 00:09:46,274
At that point
228
00:09:46,344 --> 00:09:48,965
our skin becomes
a semi-permeable membrane
229
00:09:49,033 --> 00:09:51,861
which allows the passage
of genetic material.
230
00:09:51,931 --> 00:09:55,379
I held Amy's hand,
and voila.
231
00:09:55,447 --> 00:09:58,931
Well, okay, but that better be
all there is.
232
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,895
Oh, Amy, you'll be a mother!
233
00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:08,793
What a wondrous
affirmation of our love
234
00:10:08,861 --> 00:10:11,000
and all from
the touch of your hand.
235
00:10:11,067 --> 00:10:12,413
[ giggling]
236
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:13,793
Dude, hold up.
237
00:10:13,861 --> 00:10:15,413
Remember when Zapp
blew a hole in the ship?
238
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:16,724
Indeed.
239
00:10:16,793 --> 00:10:18,172
FRY:
Kif touched
everybody there.
240
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,102
Couldn't any one of us
be the mother?
241
00:10:20,172 --> 00:10:21,413
Hey, yeah!
242
00:10:21,481 --> 00:10:23,067
I mean,
what about that, Kif?
243
00:10:23,136 --> 00:10:25,895
Well, I suppose I might have
gotten pregnant that way
244
00:10:25,965 --> 00:10:28,067
or even from a toilet seat
245
00:10:28,136 --> 00:10:31,826
though that's impossible
since I have a private washroom.
246
00:10:31,895 --> 00:10:33,102
[ toilet flushes]
247
00:10:33,172 --> 00:10:34,826
Ah, my home
away from home.
248
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,172
By the way, Kif
249
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,379
your flush seems to be set
on "stun" not "kill."
250
00:10:39,447 --> 00:10:42,551
[ nervous stuttering]
251
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:45,067
Look, Kif,
I probably am the mother
252
00:10:45,136 --> 00:10:46,895
although maybe I'm not.
253
00:10:46,965 --> 00:10:48,379
Of course, I hope I am
254
00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:51,620
but just in case I'm not,
maybe we should have a test.
255
00:10:51,688 --> 00:10:52,688
A test!
256
00:10:52,758 --> 00:10:54,688
I demand a test!
257
00:10:58,654 --> 00:11:00,447
Even I laughed at me
258
00:11:00,517 --> 00:11:04,240
when I built this alien
cross-species genetic analyzer
259
00:11:04,309 --> 00:11:06,586
but I guess I showed myself.
260
00:11:06,654 --> 00:11:09,758
Subjects, please
enter the chamber.
261
00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:17,067
Now to take
a DNA sample.
262
00:11:20,136 --> 00:11:21,447
[ inhales deeply]
263
00:11:25,724 --> 00:11:27,344
When I pull this switch
264
00:11:27,413 --> 00:11:30,586
the maternifuge will spin
at 10,000 RPM
265
00:11:30,654 --> 00:11:34,102
separating out everyone
who isn't the mother...
266
00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:37,620
father... whatever.
267
00:11:37,688 --> 00:11:40,379
[ all screaming]
268
00:11:43,826 --> 00:11:45,274
Faster, faster!
269
00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:58,895
Good! Fry's ejection
indicates that he is
not the man-mama.
270
00:11:58,965 --> 00:12:00,758
[ grunting]
271
00:12:02,517 --> 00:12:04,309
Nor is Captain Brannigan.
272
00:12:04,379 --> 00:12:06,033
Oh, thank you, merciful God.
273
00:12:06,102 --> 00:12:07,620
[ grunts]
274
00:12:07,688 --> 00:12:12,000
Zoidberg? What the hell
were you doing in there?
275
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:13,620
That's where I live.
276
00:12:13,688 --> 00:12:15,309
I have no home.
277
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,517
[ scream]
278
00:12:23,136 --> 00:12:25,654
Amy? But that means...
279
00:12:33,206 --> 00:12:35,033
Leela must have
impregnated me
280
00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:37,067
when she grabbed
my ungloved hand.
281
00:12:37,136 --> 00:12:39,379
That explains the poster
in hygiene class--
282
00:12:39,447 --> 00:12:41,481
"No glove, no love."
283
00:12:41,551 --> 00:12:44,240
Wow, this is all so confusing.
284
00:12:44,309 --> 00:12:46,136
Leela, how could you?
285
00:12:46,206 --> 00:12:48,654
Our love has had to endure
your constant hatred
286
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,000
and now this?
287
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:52,481
Stop testing our love!
288
00:12:52,551 --> 00:12:54,551
Oh, please,
Captain.
289
00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:57,309
I thank Leela for the DNA
she gave me
290
00:12:57,379 --> 00:12:58,758
but in my species
291
00:12:58,826 --> 00:13:00,206
the true parent is the one
292
00:13:00,274 --> 00:13:02,793
who inspired the initial
feeling of love.
293
00:13:02,861 --> 00:13:05,344
We call that person
the smizmar
294
00:13:05,413 --> 00:13:08,931
and my smizmar is Amy.
295
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,136
So the toilet seat is like
the uncle or something?
296
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,517
Sorry I got
your boyfriend pregnant.
297
00:13:16,586 --> 00:13:18,206
That's okay.
298
00:13:18,274 --> 00:13:20,067
At least Kif's
baby shower
should be fun.
299
00:13:20,136 --> 00:13:22,172
I better put it on my calendar.
300
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,240
Thursday,
baby shower.
Enter.
301
00:13:27,758 --> 00:13:29,724
Might as well plan
for my new life while I'm at it.
302
00:13:29,793 --> 00:13:31,793
Set motherhood mode.
303
00:13:39,274 --> 00:13:41,551
To motherhood.
304
00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:43,895
[ chugging noises]
305
00:13:53,344 --> 00:13:56,758
Mom, Dad, I know
this is weird, but...
306
00:13:56,826 --> 00:14:00,102
Yeah, yeah, we don't care how
squishy alien get pregnant.
307
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,309
All we care is that
we have grandchild now.
308
00:14:02,379 --> 00:14:04,481
You're very open-minded,
Mrs. Wong.
309
00:14:04,551 --> 00:14:06,067
Hey, you call her Grandma now.
310
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,274
Call me Grandma like crazy.
311
00:14:07,344 --> 00:14:08,654
All the time.
312
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:10,309
Check it out, y'all.
313
00:14:10,379 --> 00:14:12,206
Everyone we invited is here...
314
00:14:12,274 --> 00:14:13,688
Also Zoidberg!
315
00:14:13,758 --> 00:14:15,172
...so let's open the gifts!
316
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,136
[ cheering]
317
00:14:17,206 --> 00:14:20,481
We'll start with
this one from Bender.
318
00:14:25,379 --> 00:14:27,102
It's my booties
from when I was a kid.
319
00:14:27,172 --> 00:14:29,413
Uh, they're
already bronzed.
320
00:14:29,481 --> 00:14:30,654
They arebronze.
321
00:14:30,724 --> 00:14:32,826
And this one's from Leela.
322
00:14:32,895 --> 00:14:35,102
Oh, I just love the bow.
323
00:14:35,172 --> 00:14:36,895
I wonder what it is.
324
00:14:36,965 --> 00:14:39,344
Yes, I wonder
what wegot you.
325
00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:40,517
[ grunts]
326
00:14:40,586 --> 00:14:42,309
It's a basket.
327
00:14:42,379 --> 00:14:44,379
For picnics?
328
00:14:44,447 --> 00:14:45,965
It means a lot to me.
329
00:14:46,033 --> 00:14:47,758
It's the basket
my parents left me in
330
00:14:47,826 --> 00:14:49,102
at the orphanarium.
331
00:14:49,172 --> 00:14:51,136
You could use it
for picnics.
332
00:14:51,206 --> 00:14:52,172
Here, Amy.
333
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:53,481
We get this one
for you.
334
00:14:53,551 --> 00:14:55,551
Oh, is it a new party-board?
335
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,344
It's a board, all right.
336
00:14:58,413 --> 00:14:59,965
An ironing board.
337
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:02,309
We had your old
party-board converted
338
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:04,654
now that you not
be partying anymore.
339
00:15:04,724 --> 00:15:07,447
You-you trashed
my party-board?
340
00:15:07,517 --> 00:15:08,620
Damn right.
341
00:15:08,688 --> 00:15:10,793
Now you a mom,
the only surfing you do
342
00:15:10,861 --> 00:15:13,136
is under a big wave
of responsibility.
343
00:15:13,206 --> 00:15:16,447
Oh, this is the happiest
moment of my life.
344
00:15:16,517 --> 00:15:18,688
You all brought
such wonderful gifts
345
00:15:18,758 --> 00:15:20,724
but the greatest gift...
346
00:15:20,793 --> 00:15:21,379
Mine!
347
00:15:21,447 --> 00:15:22,688
...is the bond
348
00:15:22,758 --> 00:15:24,688
I share with
my smizmar, Amy
349
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,826
for soon, the quivering
mass of life within me
350
00:15:27,895 --> 00:15:30,136
will depend upon us both.
351
00:15:30,206 --> 00:15:32,067
Even now, I can sense it
352
00:15:32,136 --> 00:15:35,793
feeding, squirming,
searching, questing
353
00:15:35,861 --> 00:15:39,309
and shortly, it will
rend my loins in twain
354
00:15:39,379 --> 00:15:43,481
burst forth and pull us
down, down, down
355
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:46,102
into the deep, dark
waters of commitment.
356
00:15:46,172 --> 00:15:48,309
That's so beautiful.
357
00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:49,895
[ sniffling]
358
00:15:49,965 --> 00:15:52,551
Yes, it's... it's...
359
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:53,895
[ sobbing]
360
00:15:53,965 --> 00:15:56,240
No, I can't do this!
361
00:15:58,895 --> 00:16:01,033
[ all gasping]
362
00:16:01,102 --> 00:16:04,033
[ infant-like crying]
363
00:16:10,895 --> 00:16:13,136
Oh, how could Amy leave me?
364
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,481
When will women learn
to take responsibility
365
00:16:15,551 --> 00:16:17,551
for the children
they've helped create?
366
00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:19,000
[ gurgling]
367
00:16:19,067 --> 00:16:20,344
The quickening!
368
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,965
My time is near!
369
00:16:22,033 --> 00:16:23,620
I must return
to my homeworld
370
00:16:23,688 --> 00:16:25,826
to perform the ancient
birthing rites.
371
00:16:25,895 --> 00:16:28,274
Let me know how that turns out.
372
00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:51,136
I must now embark on
a perilous journey
373
00:16:51,206 --> 00:16:53,481
to give birth in
precisely the same swamp
374
00:16:53,551 --> 00:16:54,965
in which I was born.
375
00:16:55,033 --> 00:16:57,206
If it's so dangerous,
I'd better go with you.
376
00:16:57,274 --> 00:16:59,379
A gal has to protect her DNA.
377
00:16:59,447 --> 00:17:00,654
No, Leela.
378
00:17:00,724 --> 00:17:02,033
Tradition demands that
379
00:17:02,102 --> 00:17:04,067
I make this journey
with my smizmar
380
00:17:04,136 --> 00:17:07,931
and since Amy isn't here,
I must go it alone.
381
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,309
Farewell, for we may
never meet again.
382
00:17:14,964 --> 00:17:16,689
[ grunts]
383
00:17:16,758 --> 00:17:19,862
My scrapes feel
a little better now.
384
00:17:19,931 --> 00:17:22,862
[ grunting]
385
00:17:22,931 --> 00:17:25,550
Hey, what's this
fat, ugly thing?
386
00:17:25,619 --> 00:17:28,205
A frog, a toad,
or yo' mama?
387
00:17:28,275 --> 00:17:30,240
[ laughing]
388
00:17:31,413 --> 00:17:32,931
[ muffled screaming]
389
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,481
It's a poisonous froad!
390
00:17:34,550 --> 00:17:35,862
No one move.
391
00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:37,550
[ inhaling deeply]
392
00:17:39,862 --> 00:17:41,034
[ squeals]
393
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:45,034
I'm back, baby.
394
00:17:45,103 --> 00:17:47,895
[ bubbling]
395
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,517
Behold...
396
00:17:54,586 --> 00:17:57,826
the sacred ancestral
birthing grounds of my family.
397
00:17:57,895 --> 00:17:59,000
[ sniffing]
398
00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:00,862
Smells like
a jockstrap.
399
00:18:05,309 --> 00:18:08,517
I am the Grand Midwife!
400
00:18:08,586 --> 00:18:09,378
Hi.
401
00:18:09,448 --> 00:18:11,862
I am Kif, of the clan Kroker
402
00:18:11,931 --> 00:18:13,862
come to bear my young.
403
00:18:13,931 --> 00:18:16,689
Then let the tea
of new life be brewed.
404
00:18:16,758 --> 00:18:18,309
As it is writ
405
00:18:18,378 --> 00:18:22,205
"And both shall lift
the jug together."
406
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:23,654
Where is your smizmar?
407
00:18:23,723 --> 00:18:25,309
She is not with me.
408
00:18:25,378 --> 00:18:27,034
Oh, the sorrow!
409
00:18:27,103 --> 00:18:29,689
Oh, the shame!
410
00:18:29,758 --> 00:18:32,205
I'm sorry. I'm probably just
making you feel worse.
411
00:18:32,275 --> 00:18:34,654
As long as Amy is with me
in my heart
412
00:18:34,723 --> 00:18:37,205
I will have the strength of two.
413
00:18:37,275 --> 00:18:40,517
[ strained grunting]
414
00:18:41,826 --> 00:18:45,792
Apparently Amy hasn't been
working out much lately.
415
00:18:50,931 --> 00:18:53,034
As the tea boils
416
00:18:53,103 --> 00:18:56,034
please join hands
with your beloved smizmar.
417
00:18:57,448 --> 00:18:58,826
Oh, right.
418
00:18:58,895 --> 00:19:00,964
Sorry, but I've memorized
the ceremony by rote
419
00:19:01,034 --> 00:19:02,205
and it mentions her a lot.
420
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:03,619
I'll try to endure.
421
00:19:03,689 --> 00:19:04,862
Good, 'cause I'm not
changing it.
422
00:19:04,931 --> 00:19:06,723
Now turn, ye two
423
00:19:06,792 --> 00:19:09,931
and gaze deeply into
each other's eyes.
424
00:19:11,413 --> 00:19:12,481
What are you looking at?
425
00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:15,826
May the love I sense
between you at this moment
426
00:19:15,895 --> 00:19:19,481
remain with you both
through all your days.
427
00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:21,689
[ sobbing]
428
00:19:21,758 --> 00:19:25,275
The tea of new life is ready.
429
00:19:25,344 --> 00:19:28,103
Let those whose love
created this life
430
00:19:28,172 --> 00:19:31,103
speak each other's names,
then drink.
431
00:19:35,862 --> 00:19:37,654
[ quietly]:
Amy.
432
00:19:37,723 --> 00:19:39,344
AMY:
Kif!
433
00:19:41,378 --> 00:19:43,723
[ all gasping]
434
00:19:43,792 --> 00:19:46,481
Amy, is it you
or have I gone crazy
with loneliness?
435
00:19:46,550 --> 00:19:47,689
Both!
436
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,448
[ squeals]
437
00:19:51,517 --> 00:19:53,758
I still don't know
if I'm ready for this
438
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,723
but I do know I love you
439
00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:57,689
and I want to be here
beside you.
440
00:19:57,758 --> 00:19:59,240
Great, now I lost my place.
441
00:19:59,309 --> 00:20:00,826
I'm starting over.
442
00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:02,413
Oh, no time.
443
00:20:02,481 --> 00:20:03,689
It is begun.
444
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,136
[ pained moaning]
445
00:20:10,895 --> 00:20:13,481
[ squishing noises]
446
00:20:13,550 --> 00:20:14,758
Ew.
447
00:20:14,826 --> 00:20:16,240
Neat!
448
00:20:16,309 --> 00:20:17,964
You can do it, Kif.
449
00:20:18,034 --> 00:20:20,103
[ moaning]
450
00:20:20,172 --> 00:20:22,895
Ooh, nilly!
451
00:20:22,964 --> 00:20:25,205
[ groaning]
452
00:20:27,964 --> 00:20:29,619
[ liquid whoosh]
453
00:20:29,689 --> 00:20:30,895
[ gasping]
454
00:20:33,034 --> 00:20:34,378
Oh, man!
455
00:20:40,792 --> 00:20:42,205
Amy, my love, tell me--
456
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,275
are they making it
to the water?
457
00:20:49,964 --> 00:20:51,136
Amy!
458
00:20:51,205 --> 00:20:52,758
Shoo!
459
00:20:52,826 --> 00:20:54,550
Stay away from my babies!
460
00:21:05,034 --> 00:21:07,619
The birthing is complete.
461
00:21:07,689 --> 00:21:08,862
[ cheering]
462
00:21:08,931 --> 00:21:10,205
Oh, thank goodness.
463
00:21:10,275 --> 00:21:12,586
I will now
take my leave.
464
00:21:12,654 --> 00:21:15,309
I live here, so I won't actually
be going anywhere
465
00:21:15,378 --> 00:21:18,378
but you don't
have to talk to me anymore.
466
00:21:18,448 --> 00:21:20,240
Congratulations!Nice work.
467
00:21:20,309 --> 00:21:21,413
Way to go, squishy!
468
00:21:23,826 --> 00:21:25,619
LEELA:
There goes my DNA.
469
00:21:25,689 --> 00:21:27,895
What a disgusting
and beautiful process.
470
00:21:27,964 --> 00:21:30,000
That's birth for you.
471
00:21:30,067 --> 00:21:32,654
Well, we've given them
a great start, Amy
472
00:21:32,723 --> 00:21:34,931
and in 20 years
they'll sprout legs
473
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,931
and crawl back onto land
as children.
474
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,826
I'll be ready then.
31141
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