Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:35,948
BENDER:
Ah, beer.
2
00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:37,124
So many choices
3
00:00:37,253 --> 00:00:39,256
and it makes
so little difference.
4
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:40,256
FRY:
How about Lobrau?
5
00:00:40,387 --> 00:00:41,997
It has dots on it.
6
00:00:42,128 --> 00:00:45,262
Overruled! The choice
of champions is
7
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,264
Pabst Blue Robot.I can't drink that.
8
00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,527
The metal shavings
make my throat bloody.
9
00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:53,140
Waah, waah, baby
wants his Zima.
10
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:56,143
Hey, hey, hey,
we can all fight
when we're drunk.
11
00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:58,274
Now, listen, why don't we just
brew our own beer?
12
00:00:58,405 --> 00:01:00,277
You can brew your own beer?
13
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:03,366
Sure, the kids at the
Orphanarium used to
do it all the time.
14
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,760
[ heavenly chord plays]
15
00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:07,067
[ crashing]
16
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,808
Cursed bacteria of Liberia!
17
00:01:10,939 --> 00:01:13,724
My own son,
suspended from boarding school.
18
00:01:13,855 --> 00:01:14,944
It's not my fault, Dad.
19
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,293
PROFESSOR:
And you, Cubert!
20
00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:18,251
I cloned you
from one of my warts
21
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,602
and I can send you
straight back in there!
22
00:01:20,731 --> 00:01:21,558
Nuh-uh!
23
00:01:21,689 --> 00:01:22,951
What's going on?
24
00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:24,170
Is this angry yelling
25
00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:25,563
or busted hearing aid yelling?
26
00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:27,739
I'm afraid it's both.What?!
27
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:30,176
Now, hold on.
Everyone cool your daiquiris.
28
00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:33,222
Let's give the little vermin
a chance to explain themselves.
29
00:01:33,353 --> 00:01:35,182
It was self-defense, Mom.
30
00:01:35,311 --> 00:01:37,793
Just look at this letter
the principal sent.
31
00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:41,317
We were in science class
32
00:01:41,448 --> 00:01:43,277
and we had just finished
building
33
00:01:43,406 --> 00:01:44,408
a miniature black hole.
34
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,280
That was easy.
35
00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:47,802
Pretty scrawny
black hole.
36
00:01:47,932 --> 00:01:49,370
It must be hungry.
37
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:50,587
[ scoffs]
38
00:01:50,718 --> 00:01:52,198
Black holes
don't need food.
39
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,026
Neither do nerds!
40
00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,293
My Manwich!
41
00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:01,251
[ laughing]
42
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:03,819
That's it, Brett--
you've compressed
our lunches
43
00:02:03,948 --> 00:02:05,820
to a singularity
for the last time!
44
00:02:05,950 --> 00:02:08,039
Salt him, Dwight!
45
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:11,391
[ groaning]
46
00:02:11,521 --> 00:02:15,352
When I re-solidify, I'm going
to put you in a world of goop.
47
00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:16,831
[ both whimpering]
48
00:02:16,961 --> 00:02:18,615
See? That bully started it.
49
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:22,054
We couldn't fight back with
brawn, so we used our brains.
50
00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:24,448
I warned you
not to use those things!
51
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:29,800
Let's see, we've got
our malt, our hops...
52
00:02:29,931 --> 00:02:32,716
We just need a big,
disposable tub to mix it in.
53
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:33,456
Yo.
54
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:41,247
Now it needs to boil
for a couple hours.
55
00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:45,121
[ whistling a tune]
56
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:47,341
[ video game beeping]
57
00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:49,168
Dwight, you remember
the crew.
[ grunts]
58
00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:50,387
Crew, you remember Cubert?
59
00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:51,692
[ all grunt]
60
00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:54,348
Wonderful! Then I'm
sure you won't mind
61
00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:57,176
being their legal
guardians for a month.
62
00:02:59,134 --> 00:03:00,396
Well, well
63
00:03:00,527 --> 00:03:02,181
if it isn't my old friends
64
00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:03,835
Stretch-Pants...
65
00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:05,836
No-Pants and...
66
00:03:05,967 --> 00:03:07,056
Idiot.
67
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,318
We're making beer;
I'm the brewery.
68
00:03:09,449 --> 00:03:11,277
I heard alcohol
makes you stupid.
69
00:03:11,407 --> 00:03:12,843
No, I'm... doesn't.
70
00:03:12,974 --> 00:03:15,324
Actually, Dwight,
you're right--
71
00:03:15,455 --> 00:03:17,848
alcohol is very,
very bad.
72
00:03:17,979 --> 00:03:19,199
For children.
73
00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:22,419
But once you turn 21, it
becomes very, very good.
74
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:23,550
So scram!
75
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:25,552
Oh, man,
I'm sick of this.[ grumbling]
76
00:03:25,682 --> 00:03:26,989
[ electronic beeping]
77
00:03:27,118 --> 00:03:28,337
Hey, Dad.
78
00:03:28,468 --> 00:03:31,167
What useless contraption
are you half-baking today?
79
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,429
Whuh?
80
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,997
Oh, this is my
latest invention--
81
00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:39,218
a device that lets anyone
sound exactly like me.
82
00:03:39,348 --> 00:03:42,222
[ Professor's voice]:
Good news, everyone--
I'm a horse's butt.
83
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:45,268
I am? That's not good news
at all, you little...
84
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:46,530
[ whimpers like Professor]
85
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,401
What's this device's
marketability?
86
00:03:48,531 --> 00:03:49,706
Who's the target consumer?
87
00:03:49,837 --> 00:03:53,319
There is no
target consumer--
only targets.
88
00:03:53,449 --> 00:03:55,670
Targets that will
tremble in fear
89
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,150
as their new masters
hand down edicts
90
00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:00,456
in my glorious booming voice!
91
00:04:00,587 --> 00:04:04,679
[ own exaggerated voice]:
Now, quit pestering me,
you confounded scoundrels!
92
00:04:04,808 --> 00:04:07,508
[ to "Get Up, Stand Up"]:
♪ Stamp it, file it, oh, yeah
93
00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:09,378
♪ Send it overnight...
94
00:04:09,509 --> 00:04:11,120
Can I collate that?
95
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,209
No.Can I shred
these contracts?
96
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,037
No!
97
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:17,692
Wow! A power stamper!
98
00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:20,346
[ all yelling]
99
00:04:22,348 --> 00:04:24,437
Now look at all the work
I got to do!
100
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:27,483
Ow!
101
00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:30,747
[ both laughing]
102
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:33,360
[ loud belch]
103
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,841
Mm. The ingredients
are cooked
104
00:04:36,971 --> 00:04:39,713
and they've picked up some of
your natural robot flavorings.
105
00:04:39,843 --> 00:04:41,411
Time to add the yeast.
106
00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:46,415
Yeast? You mean... I'll have
a life-form growing inside me?
107
00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:48,766
[ voice breaking]:
It's so beautiful.
108
00:04:48,896 --> 00:04:50,201
[ blows nose]
109
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,334
[ phone ringing]
110
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:53,771
Talk to me.
111
00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:55,598
This is Professor Farnsworth.
112
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:59,386
I have an important delivery
for you and your dumb crew.
113
00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:02,345
You must deliver a pizza
to Dogdoo Eight
114
00:05:02,475 --> 00:05:05,435
a planet at the edge
of the universe.
115
00:05:05,565 --> 00:05:08,350
[ Professor's voice]:
Sorry I can't come down
to say good-bye
116
00:05:08,481 --> 00:05:10,439
but I'm busy inventing
useless junk.
117
00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:12,355
And I smell bad.
118
00:05:12,485 --> 00:05:13,574
[ both giggling]
119
00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,226
[ giggling continues]
120
00:05:26,194 --> 00:05:27,456
[ video game beeping]
121
00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:31,418
Hey!
122
00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:32,636
[ groans]
123
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:35,769
If you were my kids, you'd
get quite a talking to.
124
00:05:35,899 --> 00:05:37,119
From your father.
125
00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:39,338
When he got home
from the senate.
126
00:05:39,468 --> 00:05:41,384
Oh, bother!
What have they done now?
127
00:05:41,514 --> 00:05:44,865
Those pork dumplings
sent us on a fake
pizza delivery!
128
00:05:44,995 --> 00:05:46,432
The address was
on Dogdoo Eight
129
00:05:46,562 --> 00:05:49,130
but the universe
ends right after
Dogdoo Seven.
130
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,827
Child-mon, is this true?
131
00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:52,874
Yeah, but why are you
mad at us?
132
00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:56,572
Your dummy brigade
wasted a week on an
obviously fake mission.
133
00:05:56,704 --> 00:06:00,141
Plus, they're making bootleg
beer inside company property.
134
00:06:00,315 --> 00:06:02,362
Lies! Lies and slander!
135
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:03,711
[ loud belch]
136
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:06,495
Accusing gentle Bender
of a misdeed?
137
00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:08,367
That's the last straw!
138
00:06:08,497 --> 00:06:10,586
You boys have been
underfoot long enough!
139
00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:12,850
You jerked the words
right out of my mouth.
140
00:06:12,980 --> 00:06:16,288
We're their fathers,
and it's high times
we acted like it.
141
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,942
Ooh-hoo-hoo,
here comes violence.
142
00:06:18,072 --> 00:06:19,422
[ clears throat]
143
00:06:19,552 --> 00:06:21,423
Get a job,
you lazy kids.
144
00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:26,036
Uh, I guess
if you want children beaten
145
00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:27,951
you have to do it yourself.
146
00:06:30,519 --> 00:06:32,521
Come on, Dad,
shuffle faster!
147
00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:35,264
You don't want to miss
the unveiling of our
new company, do you?
148
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:36,483
Company?
149
00:06:36,612 --> 00:06:37,658
[ laughing]
150
00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,268
How cute.
151
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,747
What will you be peddling?
152
00:06:40,877 --> 00:06:42,750
Lemonade? Shoe shines?
153
00:06:42,879 --> 00:06:44,403
Cootie insurance?
154
00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:47,101
Perhaps they've constructed
a teddy bear hospital.
155
00:06:47,231 --> 00:06:48,930
[ both chuckling]
156
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:52,629
Actually, we're starting a
competing delivery company.
157
00:06:57,199 --> 00:07:00,158
Welcome to the world
of business.
158
00:07:00,288 --> 00:07:02,987
[ both grunting]
159
00:07:05,728 --> 00:07:08,209
[ both grunting]
160
00:07:08,339 --> 00:07:10,690
Hey, who's going to use
a delivery service
161
00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:12,562
with a kicked sign?
162
00:07:12,692 --> 00:07:13,911
Nobody, that's who!
163
00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:15,738
But we already have
a client signed up.
164
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,480
We're delivering
the Daily Supernova.
165
00:07:17,610 --> 00:07:18,699
[ Hermes chuckling]
166
00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:20,701
So your delivery company
167
00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:23,093
is just a cute,
harmless paper route.
168
00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:24,574
Whew!
169
00:07:24,704 --> 00:07:26,663
No. It's a serious business.
170
00:07:26,793 --> 00:07:30,406
Yes, it's a tremendous
responsibility, all right.
171
00:07:30,536 --> 00:07:32,103
[ chuckling]
172
00:07:32,233 --> 00:07:34,670
What if a paper were
to land in a puddle?
173
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:37,238
Civilization as we know it
might get splashed.
174
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:39,023
[ both chuckling]
175
00:07:48,423 --> 00:07:50,252
DWIGHT:
Why do they always treat us
176
00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:51,819
like dumb kids?
177
00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:55,170
We're practically old enough to
find the Fox Network infantile.
178
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,432
Yeah, we'll show them.
179
00:07:56,562 --> 00:07:57,737
All Awesome Express needs
180
00:07:57,867 --> 00:08:00,523
is a sturdy interstellar
delivery craft.
181
00:08:00,653 --> 00:08:02,132
Voila!
182
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:03,744
You got a quarter?
183
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:14,971
Man, the ad said
to allow four to six
seconds for delivery.
184
00:08:15,103 --> 00:08:17,670
[ scoffs]:
More like seven.
185
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:18,846
[ yells]
186
00:08:18,975 --> 00:08:22,023
I'm really starting
to swell up with beer.
187
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,980
I must look ridiculous.
188
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,156
No. You have a healthy glow.
189
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:27,637
[ belches]:
Oh, my God!
190
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,029
I just felt it ferment!
191
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,031
Ooh! Let me feel.
192
00:08:31,161 --> 00:08:33,250
Have you thought
about what to name it?
193
00:08:33,381 --> 00:08:35,818
I was thinking Benderbrau
if it's an ale;
194
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,691
Botweiser if it's a lager.
195
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:40,302
I hope it's a lager,
so I can take it to a ball game.
196
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:41,650
[ loud belch]
197
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:44,044
[ laughs]Ooh! I felt that one!
198
00:08:44,174 --> 00:08:46,525
[ hammering and drilling]
199
00:08:46,655 --> 00:08:48,397
[ squeaking and clicking]
200
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,442
Oh, there's a crack
in the hull here.
201
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:54,010
That could cause
explosive decompression.
202
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,317
Put a sticker on it.
203
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,669
Off on your first delivery, eh?
204
00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:02,846
You be careful,
my little tinkler.
205
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:06,327
Remember we used
to call you that, huh? Tinkler?
206
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,548
Gets moving!
207
00:09:09,678 --> 00:09:12,552
Those newspapers won'ts
deliver themselveses.
208
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,815
Only the Sunday edition
can do's that.
209
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:19,645
Goodness, there must be
50 papers in that bundle.
210
00:09:19,775 --> 00:09:21,778
That's a big number, 50.
211
00:09:21,908 --> 00:09:23,345
Yeah, if you're an idiot.
212
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,090
Three, two, one.
213
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,438
All systems go.
214
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,614
Blastoff!
215
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:34,442
[ pedals squeaking]
216
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,360
See you at din-din!
217
00:09:39,490 --> 00:09:40,797
I'm blowing you a kiss!
218
00:09:40,927 --> 00:09:41,711
Mmmwah!
219
00:09:41,841 --> 00:09:42,929
[ blows]
220
00:09:43,059 --> 00:09:45,540
Aah! Take evasive action!
221
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:49,110
PROFESSOR:
It's closing in.
You can't avoid it.
222
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,067
It's a cheek seeker.
223
00:09:51,198 --> 00:09:53,548
And... gotcha!
224
00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:55,289
CUBERT:
No...!
225
00:09:55,419 --> 00:09:58,032
[ Cubert spitting repeatedly]
226
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:12,567
[ dog barking]
227
00:10:12,741 --> 00:10:14,875
[ barking]
228
00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:17,659
[ dog squeals]
229
00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:33,067
Yeah!
230
00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:34,284
[ both laughing]
231
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:41,336
[ flashbulbs popping]
232
00:10:55,871 --> 00:10:57,744
Business is down,
so I have filed papers
233
00:10:57,874 --> 00:11:00,528
to have you all reclassified
as slaves.
234
00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:02,312
[ wheel squeaking]
235
00:11:02,443 --> 00:11:03,663
PROFESSOR:
Well, well
236
00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:06,753
if it isn't our little
munchkin moguls.
237
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,971
Would you just...
238
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,365
What's the trouble, men?
239
00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,453
Need some penny rolls
for your profits?
240
00:11:12,583 --> 00:11:15,674
Actually, thanks to Dwight's
brilliant accounting
241
00:11:15,804 --> 00:11:18,373
and my unaccountable
brilliance [ snorts]
242
00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:21,418
our paper route now has
over a million customers!
243
00:11:21,549 --> 00:11:24,770
We're finally making more money
than you guys!
244
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,250
Aren't you impressed now, Pops?
245
00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:27,817
Aren't you? Aren't you?
246
00:11:27,947 --> 00:11:30,601
Uh...
in a small way, yes.
247
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,342
But you still don't have
your own building
248
00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,128
or conference table or...
249
00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:35,650
or one of those things.
250
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,347
Hello.
251
00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:42,265
Our dads are never impressed,
no matter what we do.
252
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,832
Maybe we should
start a fire.
253
00:11:43,963 --> 00:11:45,705
If we really want
to impress them
254
00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:48,184
we'll have to crush them--
with strategy...
255
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:51,057
"Dwight Lightning."
256
00:11:51,187 --> 00:11:54,844
Very well, but I get to
name the next strategy.
257
00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:56,846
ANNOUNCER:
This week
258
00:11:56,976 --> 00:11:58,717
on The Real World--
The Sun
259
00:11:58,847 --> 00:11:59,849
[ man screams]
260
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,937
I'm burning to death!
261
00:12:02,068 --> 00:12:02,851
Oh! You know
how much
262
00:12:02,982 --> 00:12:04,811
an apartment
that big would cost
263
00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:06,725
on the sun?
264
00:12:06,855 --> 00:12:08,857
People, as you know,
our young sons
265
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,730
have become
great successes
266
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,514
in the very same
field as us.
267
00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:14,168
Yay!That's great!
All right!
268
00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:16,256
Naturally,
we're humiliated.
269
00:12:16,386 --> 00:12:19,173
That's why we need you,
our loyal crew
270
00:12:19,302 --> 00:12:22,697
to make Planet Express
800% more profitable.
271
00:12:22,828 --> 00:12:24,264
We'll start by slashing salaries
272
00:12:24,394 --> 00:12:26,309
and this time I mean
reallyslashing.
273
00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:28,835
Uh, guys, I don't know how
to tell you this
274
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:31,620
so I'll just let Fry
blurt it out thoughtlessly.
275
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,187
We don't work
for you anymore!
276
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:33,970
[ gasps]
What?!
277
00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:34,927
Dwight and Cubert
278
00:12:35,057 --> 00:12:35,884
made us a better offer.
279
00:12:36,015 --> 00:12:37,234
We're paperboys now.
280
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,409
Incoming! We got papers
to stuff, team.
281
00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:40,672
Hup to, hup to.
282
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:41,890
Yes, sir.Right away.
283
00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:43,413
We're on it,
Mr. Farnsworth.
284
00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:53,684
Folks, the situation is grim,
but we shall prevail
285
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:57,514
thanks to you,
our crack team of loyal dregs.
286
00:13:00,039 --> 00:13:02,259
I don't even know
who this guy is.
287
00:13:02,432 --> 00:13:04,043
I'm Scruffy, the janitor.
288
00:13:04,173 --> 00:13:05,914
Yes, of course you are.
289
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,917
Now, we've got
to buckle down
290
00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:09,571
and save Planet Express.
291
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,225
I'm on break.
292
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:19,014
[ slow crunching]
293
00:13:19,145 --> 00:13:21,844
Sorry to interrupt
this whirlwind of activity
294
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,889
but we have an announcement.
295
00:13:24,019 --> 00:13:25,934
I direct your attention
to these forms
296
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:28,154
which I'm presently engaged
in handing to you.
297
00:13:28,284 --> 00:13:32,245
Sweet guinea pig of Winnipeg,
they've taken over our company.
298
00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:34,943
Balderdash! I never
agreed to that.
299
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,903
No, but you did
declare yourself dead
300
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,687
three years ago
as a tax dodge.
301
00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:39,730
Tax dodge nothing.
302
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,821
You take one nap
in a ditch at the park
303
00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:44,735
and they start declaring you
this and that.
304
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,129
Either way, I technically
inherit your building
305
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,349
andyour spaceship
306
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:50,698
which means
Planet Express is now...
307
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,004
[ machine beeps]
308
00:13:52,134 --> 00:13:53,571
Awesome Express!
309
00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:55,965
You rotten kids!
310
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:57,836
Uh, will you be hiring?
311
00:13:57,966 --> 00:13:58,880
No.
312
00:13:58,924 --> 00:14:01,361
You rotten kids!
313
00:14:08,629 --> 00:14:11,153
[ grunting]
314
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:15,158
There, one million papers
folded and loaded.
315
00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,032
Hey, Leela, help me apply
316
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,860
these flame decals
I got in my cereal.
317
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,383
They'll make the ship
go faster.
318
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:24,951
And what's your scientific
basis for thinking that?
319
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,299
I'm 12.
320
00:14:30,216 --> 00:14:31,870
Oh... Did I
ever tell you
321
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,221
how I used to
own that ship?
322
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,969
There but for the grace of God.
323
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,797
[ gobbling]
324
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:49,018
♪ Nice little brewskie,
don't you leak ♪
325
00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:52,065
♪ Daddy wants to drink
for at least a week. ♪
326
00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:53,153
[ stomach rumbles loudly]
327
00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:54,240
Oh, my God!
328
00:14:54,370 --> 00:14:55,546
I think it's time!
329
00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,984
Hurry, Leela, get some
coasters and cold mugs.
330
00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,855
[ Bender groaning]
331
00:14:59,985 --> 00:15:01,943
FRY:
Push, Bender, push.
332
00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:04,076
[ groaning]
333
00:15:04,206 --> 00:15:05,381
You're doing great.
334
00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:09,255
It feels like I'm trying
to push a waterbed out of me.
335
00:15:09,429 --> 00:15:11,998
Almost there,
just two more bottles.
336
00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:13,563
Is it okay?
337
00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,610
I can't hear
anything.
338
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,046
[ slurps]
339
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:20,179
It's an ale--
five gallons, six ounces.
340
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:26,142
[ moaning]
341
00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:27,796
Hey, what's going on?
342
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,711
This is a delivery company,
not a delivery room.
343
00:15:30,841 --> 00:15:32,148
We just
busted our buns
344
00:15:32,278 --> 00:15:33,628
delivering
a million papers
345
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,282
and this is
how you greet us?
346
00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,370
With a bunch
of frosty cold beers?
347
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:38,937
Hey, wait a second.
348
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:41,591
How did you deliver
a million papers in one hour?
349
00:15:41,722 --> 00:15:43,594
Uh... we just did, okay?
350
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:45,205
'Cause we're awesome.
351
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:46,206
Yeah.
Yeah.
352
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:47,380
Awesome.
Awesome.
353
00:15:47,510 --> 00:15:48,817
[ telephone ringing]
354
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:52,254
Hello, Awesome Express,
the rude, crude delivery dudes.
355
00:15:52,428 --> 00:15:53,995
How may I direct your call?
356
00:15:54,126 --> 00:15:55,215
What's that?
357
00:15:55,345 --> 00:15:57,086
You haven't gotten your paper?
358
00:15:57,216 --> 00:15:58,870
In how long?
359
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,874
[ many phones ringing]
360
00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:11,971
Might a homeless old man have
a touch more beef bourguignonne?
361
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:14,451
And another tequila slammer?
362
00:16:15,495 --> 00:16:16,452
Please?
363
00:16:16,583 --> 00:16:17,976
Don't you sweet-talk me
364
00:16:18,106 --> 00:16:19,934
you wrinkly old tube sock.
365
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,241
May I have one,
too, wife?
366
00:16:22,371 --> 00:16:23,634
You're both pathetic
367
00:16:23,764 --> 00:16:25,854
being jealous
of your own offspring.
368
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,465
You should be happy
that they became successes
369
00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:30,902
instead of following
in your footsteps.
370
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:33,644
Oh, it's true,
but they grow up so fast.
371
00:16:33,774 --> 00:16:35,732
We just wanted
a few more years
372
00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:37,474
of being better
than them.
373
00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:39,519
They're so
stinking talented
374
00:16:39,649 --> 00:16:42,740
they don't even need
their fathers anymore.
375
00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:44,177
[ weeping]
376
00:16:45,307 --> 00:16:46,048
[ door slams]
377
00:16:46,178 --> 00:16:47,309
[ running footsteps]
378
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,008
Dad!
379
00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:50,573
We screwed up!
380
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:51,749
You did?
381
00:16:51,879 --> 00:16:52,706
Tough luck, suckers.
382
00:16:52,836 --> 00:16:54,274
Please, help us, Pops.
383
00:16:54,403 --> 00:16:57,320
We agreed to deliver way more
papers than we could handle.
384
00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:58,755
But we couldn't
handle 'em
385
00:16:58,886 --> 00:17:00,105
so we started
dumping the extras
386
00:17:00,235 --> 00:17:01,280
in a crater
on the moon.
387
00:17:01,410 --> 00:17:03,152
And now everybody's
yelling at us
388
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:04,326
about their
missing papers.
389
00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:06,328
And we don't know
what to do.
390
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,330
[ kids crying]
391
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:12,030
[ fathers laughing]
392
00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:13,467
Oh...
Oh...
393
00:17:13,596 --> 00:17:16,338
Why did you boys
do all this?
394
00:17:16,512 --> 00:17:19,125
We just wanted you
to be proud of us.
395
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:20,256
Proud of you?
396
00:17:20,386 --> 00:17:23,303
You ruined us
with sleazy business practices
397
00:17:23,432 --> 00:17:26,393
and a complete disregard
for human decency.
398
00:17:26,522 --> 00:17:28,612
Of course we're
proud of you.
399
00:17:28,742 --> 00:17:30,135
Damn right we are.
400
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:31,615
Now, come on--
let's go do
401
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:34,269
a little father-son
weaseling out of this.
402
00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:42,278
PROFESSOR:
Good thing I had
this net installed
403
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:43,365
for catching giraffes.
404
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:03,820
Okay, boys,
let me show you
405
00:18:03,951 --> 00:18:05,736
how a paper mandoes it.
406
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:17,313
Au revoir...!
407
00:18:17,443 --> 00:18:19,054
Can I use
the gun, Dad?
408
00:18:19,184 --> 00:18:22,971
Oh, what kind of father
would I be if I said no?
409
00:18:28,454 --> 00:18:29,542
Only one house to go.
410
00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:30,760
We did it!
411
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:32,546
[ cheering]
412
00:18:32,675 --> 00:18:33,634
Yeah!
413
00:18:33,763 --> 00:18:34,808
[ gasps]
414
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,989
Run away. That bully
Brett Blob lives there.
415
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:44,384
He's ugly, mean,
stupid, stink mucus
416
00:18:44,513 --> 00:18:47,865
and last week we
sort of broke his window.
417
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:49,911
All right, all right--
what do we do
418
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:51,607
when we break somebody's window?
419
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:52,782
Pay for it?
420
00:18:52,913 --> 00:18:54,394
Oh, heavens, no.
421
00:18:54,523 --> 00:18:57,657
We apologize--
with nice, cheap words.
422
00:18:57,788 --> 00:18:58,875
[ doorbell ringing]
423
00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:02,009
I thought I heard
the doorbell
424
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,403
but I see it was the dork bell.
425
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:07,015
[ laughing]
426
00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:09,278
Uh, you made a
funny good one, Brett.
427
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:12,280
Now, now, no need to
give us the business.
428
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,369
We'd like a word
with your daddy.
429
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:17,067
Whatever. Dad!
430
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,243
Don't worry, boys.
431
00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:19,201
I'm sure his father
432
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:21,595
is a perfectly normal,
reasonable man.
433
00:19:21,724 --> 00:19:23,074
What the hell do you want?
434
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,598
Mr. Blob, our sons
have come to apologize
435
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:27,383
for damaging your window.
436
00:19:27,513 --> 00:19:31,082
They've learned their lesson
and they want to make amends.
437
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,387
I'm sorry, sir.
438
00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:33,301
Yeah. Sorry.
439
00:19:33,432 --> 00:19:35,260
You can shove your apology
440
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:38,176
into the bottom of your
one-way digestive system.
441
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,353
Now, see here--
we assured our sons
442
00:19:40,482 --> 00:19:42,136
that you'd accept
their apology.
443
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:43,964
Aww. Tell you what.
444
00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:48,535
I'll accept their apology
when they kiss my ass--
445
00:19:48,664 --> 00:19:50,405
which I don't have.
446
00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:52,407
[ laughing]
447
00:19:52,538 --> 00:19:55,628
No one gives my boy
that option.
448
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:56,933
Bring it on, Jello Pop.
449
00:19:57,065 --> 00:19:58,153
Yeah! Get him, Dad!
450
00:19:58,284 --> 00:19:59,372
Show him who's boss.
451
00:19:59,501 --> 00:20:01,416
[ pained groans]
452
00:20:03,549 --> 00:20:04,550
Get him... Pops.
453
00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:05,638
Hooray?
454
00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:08,642
[ dog yapping]
455
00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:13,994
[ growls]
456
00:20:20,087 --> 00:20:21,436
That was incredible!
457
00:20:21,567 --> 00:20:24,396
You are the bravest dads
in the entire trauma center.
458
00:20:24,527 --> 00:20:26,528
You guys almost had him--
until he digested you.
459
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,662
Aw, you're good kids.
460
00:20:28,791 --> 00:20:30,010
[ coughing]
461
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:32,186
If I could
feel anything right now
462
00:20:32,317 --> 00:20:33,405
it would be pride.
463
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,407
[ screaming]
[ screaming]
464
00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:37,932
I was wrong! I can
still feel pain!
465
00:20:38,061 --> 00:20:39,106
[ knocking]
466
00:20:40,455 --> 00:20:41,413
[ shrieks]
467
00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:42,719
He's come
to finish the job.
468
00:20:42,849 --> 00:20:44,286
Someone toss me
out the window!
469
00:20:44,416 --> 00:20:45,548
No, no. Wait.
470
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:48,334
I-I feel terrible
about what happened.
471
00:20:48,463 --> 00:20:51,597
I've just been under
a lot of stress lately
472
00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:53,686
down at the plant,
you know.
473
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:57,820
They're bringing in computers
to "improve productivity"
474
00:20:57,951 --> 00:21:01,999
and... well, that's
no excuse for how I acted
475
00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:04,349
but the boy
needs to see
that real men
476
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,353
solve their disagreements
with words, not violence
477
00:21:07,482 --> 00:21:10,050
so, uh... if you'll
accept my apology, well
478
00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:13,489
I hope we can put this
embarrassing incident behind us.
479
00:21:13,619 --> 00:21:16,491
Mmm. I suppose.
Oh, ah...
480
00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:17,928
Hey, chumps!
481
00:21:18,058 --> 00:21:20,496
I heard you were on the ass end
of an ass-kicking
482
00:21:20,626 --> 00:21:23,238
so I figured you could use
a couple of these little babies.
483
00:21:23,368 --> 00:21:24,194
Oh, why not?
484
00:21:24,326 --> 00:21:25,284
Might as well live it up
485
00:21:25,413 --> 00:21:27,373
as long as I've got
this catheter in me.
486
00:21:27,502 --> 00:21:29,635
Won't you join us,
Mr. Blob?
487
00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:31,376
Sounds like a plan.
488
00:21:32,421 --> 00:21:35,163
This is what makes life
worth clinging to--
489
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:38,513
three fathers enjoying
a day out with their sons.
490
00:21:38,644 --> 00:21:39,558
[ bottles clink]
491
00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:41,734
It would seem
we've taught our boys
492
00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:43,039
a lesson about life.
493
00:21:43,171 --> 00:21:47,044
Man or blob,
it's what's inside that counts.
494
00:21:48,654 --> 00:21:50,352
[ muffled shouts]
34004
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
