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1
00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:06,440
[ Man ]
One, two! One, two, three!
2
00:00:32,765 --> 00:00:35,603
Oh, put down
the binoculars, Fry.
3
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:39,307
The wall of that strip club
isn't going to collapse twice
in one day.
4
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:41,808
I know, and I've grown
to accept that.
5
00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:45,079
Now I'm more interested
in that new pizza parlor
across the street.
6
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:48,249
Kind of makes me
pine for my days
as a pizza delivery boy.
7
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:51,085
"Here's your pizza," I'd say.
"I didn't order any,"
they'd say.
8
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,387
And then I'd be off
to my next adventure.
9
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:56,457
That story stunk.
Hand me the binoculars.
10
00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:05,733
I think the owner
is from Signas Five.
11
00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:11,105
Signoids? On our block?
Fi and foo! They should go
back where they came from!
12
00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,073
Professor, please!
13
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:17,478
Society's never gonna make
any progress until we all learn
to pretend to like each other.
14
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:22,250
Now let's go over there
and make these hideous strangers
feel welcome.
No!
15
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:24,852
You sure about
these-a chairs?
16
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:28,021
Guidebook says
human legs bend down
at knee.
17
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:33,360
It's okay, Mama.
Anyone-a complains,
I bend legs up for free.
18
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:36,129
Ooh, customers!
19
00:01:36,229 --> 00:01:38,498
[ Bell Ringing ]
20
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:42,135
Welcome to Earth pizza store.
Here. Sit.
21
00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:45,673
I bend-a knees for you.
Ooh, that's comfy.
22
00:01:47,807 --> 00:01:49,777
Uuh!
23
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:53,546
Okay. Now,
what-a kinda pizza
goes in you?
24
00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:55,549
Silt? Asbestos?
25
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,784
We got guano,
very fresh.
26
00:01:57,884 --> 00:02:00,688
Ah, mm,
do you have any food?
27
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:05,459
Here. Try a deep-a dish pizza.
Contains-a four kinda things.
28
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,701
[ Both Gagging ]
29
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:18,506
- I don't mean to offend,
but this tastes like vomit.
- Thank you.
30
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:22,409
No, actually, I did mean
to offend a little.
This is awful.
31
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:25,513
[ Arguing In Alien Language ]
32
00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:30,683
[ Both Sobbing ]
33
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:35,223
Hey, hey. What's wrong?
Was it something Leela said?
34
00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:38,725
We come-a to Earth
to start new life,
35
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,093
raise fat,
spoiled Earth kids,
36
00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:46,033
hang many underwear
from Earth clothesline,
live Earthican dream.
37
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:49,537
[ Sobbing Wildly ]
38
00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:53,039
Aw, don't cry, foreign people.
I used to work in a pizzeria,
39
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:55,575
and as soon as I stop
hallucinating and blasting puke,
40
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:58,278
I'm gonna teach you
to sell pizza, Earth-style.
41
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:01,348
Oh, thank you,
magic biped!
42
00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:03,350
Mm-mm-mm!
43
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,552
You save us-a, sir.
44
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:09,356
If we cannot-a
make-a Earth-a pizza,
our dream-a will die,
45
00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:13,092
just like rats we crush
to make the wine.
46
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:22,635
For starters, only use
quality ingredients.
47
00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:24,805
Case in point,
no more live bees.
48
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:27,139
[ Buzzing ]
49
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:31,312
Oregano works equally well.
And when you put pizzas in the
oven, don't get in with them.
50
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,546
Hey! Occupato.
51
00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:38,151
Most important of all
is the big-screen TV.
52
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:42,956
Human families need a TV while
they're eating, so they don't
have to talk to each other.
53
00:03:43,055 --> 00:03:46,158
Ah, the Earthican pastime,
blernsball.
54
00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:48,429
[ Crowd Cheering ]
55
00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:50,598
[ Male Announcer ]
Mulligan drives the ball.
56
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:53,501
It's going, going
and caught by the shortstop.
57
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:57,305
Mets lose again.
Man, I haven't seen
play this bad...
58
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,573
since the days
of Bob Uecker.
59
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,509
This is Bob Uecker
saying thanks for watching.
60
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,312
Mets-a? Short-a-stop-a?
61
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:09,282
Pinching the hitter?
I don't understand
this blerns-a-ball.
62
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:12,019
Well, if you're
gonna be Earthicans,
we'll have to teach you.
63
00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:15,254
How 'bout your pizzeria
plays a game against
Planet Express?
64
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:18,158
- Oh, but you'll need
nine players.
- No problem.
65
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:20,160
[ Shouting In
Alien Language ]
66
00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:22,495
[ Scattered Grunts ]
67
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:27,100
Play the ball!
68
00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:34,274
[ Dog Barking ]
69
00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:38,478
[ Scolding In Alien Language ]
70
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:46,653
Go, team! Beat those
no-good Signoids!
71
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:50,457
Show them they stink
in a game they've
never played before!
72
00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:57,865
Ahh, this is-a
why I love Earth-a--
73
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,468
beautiful,
star-brightened day,
74
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:03,235
friendly blernsball game
with chum pals.
75
00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:05,406
So pleasant for everybody.
76
00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:07,807
- [ Grunts ]
- Ohh!
77
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,177
Hit by a pitch.
Take your base.
78
00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:12,346
[ Gasps ]
Sorry about that!
79
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:15,182
I guess I needed a few more
warm-up pitches.
80
00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:17,216
[ Moaning ]
81
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,654
- No batter, no batter!
- [ Grunts ]
82
00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:24,992
- No batter anymore.
- Take your base.
83
00:05:25,091 --> 00:05:29,497
I didn't mean to hit you.
I have some trouble
with depth perception.
84
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:32,098
Yeah, me too now.
85
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:35,502
Hey, batter,
batter, batter, batter!
Hey, batter, batter, batter!
86
00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:37,838
Hey, batter, batter!
Duck!
87
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:41,942
- Take your base.
- [ Crowd Murmuring ]
88
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:46,579
Please, lady! I want to live.
Can I use bat to protect head?
Ow!
89
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,016
- Apparently not.
- [ Cheering ]
90
00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:52,019
Heh heh! Check out
the one-eyed bean machine!
91
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,053
[ Moaning ]
92
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:57,757
Hooray!
I make-a score point!
93
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:01,428
Leela, you beaned a run in.
You better let me pitch.
94
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:05,533
But I've got a no-hitter going!
[ Sighs ] You're right.
95
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:08,100
Here.
[ Groans ]
96
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,036
[ All ]
Yea!
97
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:13,139
Don't take her out!
She's a firecracker!
98
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:17,577
Excuse me.
I'd like to talk to you.
Am I under arrest?
99
00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:22,915
Wait. I know you. You're
the sleazebag who owns the
Ultimate Robot Fighting League.
100
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:26,720
Not anymore.
Now I'm the sleazebag
who owns the New New York Mets.
101
00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:29,490
The Mets? Those bums
are worse than me.
102
00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:34,762
Close to it. But they don't draw
a crowd like you, which is why
I wanna sign you to the team.
103
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:40,399
Oh, you mean I'd be
the first woman ever to play
major league blernsball?
104
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,235
Well, yeah. But basically,
you'd just be a publicity stunt.
105
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:46,406
I figure a one-eyed
lady skullbuster might
bring out the freak-show crowd.
106
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:51,110
Wow! The first woman ever
to play major league blernsball!
107
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:54,781
- Again, yeah. But basically,
you'd just be--
- Yippee!
108
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:06,093
Ta-da! The first woman
ever to play
major league blernsball!
109
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:08,995
- How do I look?
- Like a sexy Yogi Berra.
110
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,531
Eh, why is
your number "7/8"?
111
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,701
All the whole numbers
have been retired.
112
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,336
Well, I must say, I'm impressed.
You look just like
a ballplayer.
113
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:21,675
- Can I pat you on the butt?
- Fry, I'm a professional
athlete. So go ahead.
114
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:25,177
Oh, now I'm too nervous.
115
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,014
[ Crowd Cheering ]
116
00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:36,656
[ Scattered Jeers ]
Boo! Come on!
117
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:41,194
Well, folks, it's only the fifth
inning, but the Swedes have
turned this one into a laugher,
118
00:07:41,293 --> 00:07:43,362
and that's with two F's.
119
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,634
The crowd is pouring out
of the stadium L.A.-style.
120
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:51,971
Skipper, we're losin'
the crowd. Put in our
new novelty act, Leela.
121
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:56,308
- [ Delighted Gasp ]
- Nagdaggit! I already
put in the circus clown!
122
00:07:56,408 --> 00:08:00,180
Yeah, but he bunted.
Clowns are only funny
when they swing away.
123
00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:03,684
[ Man On P.A. ]
Your attention, please.
Now pitching for the Mets,
124
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:06,319
Turanga Leela,
125
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:10,389
a one-eyed woman.
[ All Exclaiming ]
126
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:14,060
Hoo-hoo! Come on!
Throw like a girl!
127
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,163
[ All Cheering ]
128
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:18,197
Too much eyeliner!
129
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:21,401
[ Uecker ]
This is history
in the making, folks.
130
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:24,838
Bjornson steps up to the plate
and Leela delivers.
131
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:27,507
- Oh, gee!
- [ Bender ] Bull's-eye!
132
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:30,377
[ Uecker ]
Ooh! An inauspicious start...
133
00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:33,113
for the career of
the first woman blernsballer.
134
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:37,951
- Uuh!
- D'oh!
135
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:41,020
An inauspicious continuation
for the career of the first
woman blernsballer.
136
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,890
- Ooh!
- [ All Muttering, Chuckling ]
137
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,302
[ All ]
Bean! Bean! Bean!
138
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:58,905
Bean! Bean! Bean!
Bean! Bean!
139
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:01,908
Bean! Bean!
Uuh!
140
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,043
Oh!
[ Crowd Cheering ]
141
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:09,448
Ouch! It's a three-beanball
salad. The Mets fans love it,
though, and who can blame them?
142
00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:11,551
They haven't had much
to cheer about this year. Ooh!
143
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,552
[ Crowd Cheering ]
144
00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:22,929
Kid, that was great.
You got us more publicity
than a cowboy in a shark tank.
145
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:25,164
Poor Tex.
He was quite a shark.
146
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,635
Whoop!
147
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:33,673
[ Scattered ]
Hey! Hey, come on! Ooh, sorry.
I win.
148
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:37,309
Oop, sorry.
149
00:09:37,409 --> 00:09:42,249
Bender, how did you get in here?
As your agent, I have access
to you at all times.
150
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,985
- Since when are you
my agent?
- [ Chiming ]
151
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,988
Quiet! Call comin' in. Yes?
152
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,823
A big endorsement deal
for Leela? How much?
153
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:56,495
Hey! You put a one
and two zeroes in front of that,
or we pass! Deal!
154
00:09:56,596 --> 00:10:01,301
Bender, that's great!
How much did you get me?
One hundred dollars.
155
00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:08,508
As a pitcher, I serve up
plenty of beanballs,
156
00:10:08,607 --> 00:10:11,879
so I know good beans
when I see them.
157
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:15,783
Bean-Bay Beans.
They're the beaniest.
158
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,784
[ Man ]
Cut!
159
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:21,889
[ Crowd ]
Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean!
160
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:25,491
[ Uecker ]
In very short order,
Leela has become a fan favorite.
161
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:29,663
- Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean!
- Uuh!
162
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,731
[ Crowd Cheering ]
163
00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:35,903
[ Sirens Wailing ]
164
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,706
You're the best, babe.
165
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:42,009
[ Chiming ]
Hang on. Call comin' in.
What's that?
166
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:46,479
Hey, you put a one
and two zeroes in front of that,
or we pass! Deal!
167
00:10:46,578 --> 00:10:50,317
So what did you get me?
A thousand and one pesos.
168
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:54,421
[ Clapboard Claps ]
Yo soy muy malo en lanzar.
169
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:58,524
Pero yo soy muy bueno
en comer frijoles.
170
00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:03,429
Come los Bean-Bay frijoles,
los frijoles de los reyes.
171
00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:07,500
Cut! Okay, now do one
with the bean suit on.
172
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,336
[ Murmurings ]
173
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:15,542
Leela really bringin' in
the customers.
174
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:19,046
This keep up,
we need to buy
second sauce toilet.
175
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:23,682
When I grow up, I want to injure
men by throwing stuff at them,
just like you, Leela.
176
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:27,553
- Will you sign my magazine?
- Aw, sure thing, sweetie.
177
00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:31,892
- Who should I make it out to?
- Well, uh, to eBay.
178
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:36,363
That's a popular name today.
Little "e," big "B"?
179
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,134
[ Beeping ]
Heh, heh!
180
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,702
Five bucks an autograph,
200 fans.
181
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:47,106
Add a one and two zeroes
in front of that,
we got ourselves a wad.
182
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,308
I'm not doing this
for the wad.
183
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:52,479
I'm doing it for all
the struggling female athletes
who need a role model.
184
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:55,481
Yeah, a role model
for how to stink.
[ All Exclaiming ]
185
00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:58,650
- What? Who are you?
- Jackie Anderson.
186
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:03,823
I'm on the blernsball team
at NNYU, and I was hoping to
get to play in the majors soon.
187
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:06,092
Oh! Following in my footsteps.
188
00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:09,996
[ Scoffs ] God forbid!
Your little freak show
is making it impossible...
189
00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:13,066
for real female ballplayers
to be taken seriously.
190
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:16,937
I hope you're proud
of yourself.
191
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:22,475
[ Whimpering ]
192
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,476
[ Sobbing ]
193
00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:29,182
All right. Show's over.
No refunds. You heard the robot.
Get out.
194
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:37,456
I'm a fool. The fans
haven't been cheering for me.
They've been cheering at me.
195
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:42,830
Don't be upset, Leela.
You, um-- You look really cute
in your uniform.
196
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:48,168
That's what makes it so sad!
I thought I was doing
something heroic!
197
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,303
You are! What about that
little girl you visited
in the hospital?
198
00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:53,539
You know the one I mean--
the one who died?
199
00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:57,277
You're right. I can't
let people down anymore.
200
00:12:57,376 --> 00:13:02,982
As God is my witness,
I vow to earn the respect
of girls and women everywhere.
201
00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:07,320
I will become
the best blernsball player
of all time!
202
00:13:07,419 --> 00:13:10,289
[ Clears Throat ]
That's statistically impossible.
203
00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:13,360
In 77 innings,
you haven't gotten a single out.
204
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:17,496
At this rate, you're sure
to go down as the worst
blernsball player of all time!
205
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:20,332
Oh. Then I have a new vow.
206
00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:26,338
I solemnly swear I will become
not the worst blernsball player
of all time!
207
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,976
[ Groans ]
208
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:49,361
Hey, look.
The players who broke
the various color barriers.
209
00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:53,066
When will man learn
that all races...
210
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:55,701
are equally inferior
to robots?
211
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:59,772
Ah, here we are--
the worst player in history.
212
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:03,842
If I can be just a little better
than him, I can slink away
with my head held high.
213
00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:08,048
It says he once struck out
when his tongue got stuck
to an unusually cold bat.
214
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,450
And here he is
trying to make a catch
with an oven mitt.
215
00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:12,851
It's even a crummy hologram.
216
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:16,623
I'm not a hologram,
though I am crummy.
Hank Aaron XXIV.
217
00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:21,628
Hank Aaron XXIV? How could you
play so blowfully? The original
Hank Aaron was great.
218
00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:25,731
No, I was better than great.
I was the home run king.
219
00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:29,635
- Neat!
- So, Hank-- the bad Hank--
220
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:33,240
just how blowful were you?
Well, I had a low
batting average.
221
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:38,445
Low? It was zero, you fungo.
You went your whole career
without getting a hit.
222
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,948
Leela can beat that.
She's pitched her whole career
without getting an out.
223
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,616
[ Chuckles ]
You stink, lady!
224
00:14:44,716 --> 00:14:47,820
Hey, junior.
She belongs in the exhibit
instead of you.
225
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:51,290
Forget it.
This job's too cushy to give up.
226
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:55,794
[ Slurping ]
Ah, Wade Boggs.
Goes down smooth.
227
00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:59,631
Look, I don't wanna
be in this exhibit.
That's why I need your help--
228
00:14:59,731 --> 00:15:02,802
so I can be one tiny iota
less pathetic than you.
229
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:07,073
Oh, I can't help you play
better than Tiny Iota.
That guy was great.
230
00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:09,442
But I'll teach you
everything I know.
231
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,812
Okay, let's see
what you can do.
232
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,484
One thing she can do
is lodge a ball in
the dead center of your brain.
233
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,320
You better get
a batting helmet.
234
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:25,325
All right. Low and away.
235
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,860
- Uuh!
- Ooh! Ouch!
236
00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:32,966
[ Moaning ]
237
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:37,504
Okay, try it again.
But this time,
keep your eye off the ball.
238
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,471
You mean, keep your eye
on the ball.
239
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:41,975
Hey, lady, which one of us
is in the Hall of Fame?
240
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:45,878
- Psst! You're holding
the bat upside down.
- Just pitch the ball.
241
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:48,880
Okay. Eye off the ball.
242
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:51,683
Uuh!
243
00:15:51,783 --> 00:15:55,322
Stee-rike!
Hooray!
Yeah, you did it, Leela.
244
00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:57,690
[ Laughs ]
I didn't hit the batter!
245
00:15:57,789 --> 00:16:00,692
For once I was pitching
and not just belly itching.
246
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:05,065
Oh, you got that too?
I think there's
a rash goin' around.
247
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:07,167
** [ Organ ]
248
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,304
[ Low Groaning ]
249
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:15,508
Welcome to Fenway Park,
home of the Boston Poindexters,
250
00:16:15,607 --> 00:16:20,513
where the Mets close out
a season that will rank among
mankind's most awful crimes.
251
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,715
[ Slurping ]
252
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,917
Hey! You opened
a franchise!
253
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:28,988
Yes. Our biggest seller
is Leela's bean pizza--
254
00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:32,658
six kinds of beans,
plus several things
that look like beans.
255
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,561
Beans, huh?
256
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:38,730
Mmm, this is great!
How do you make
the crust so fizzy?
257
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,034
Ah, ah, ah!
Ancient Signoid secret.
258
00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:46,673
My husband. Some hotshot!
Here's his ancient
Signoid secret.
259
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:51,077
Live hornets.
We smoosh them right into dough.
260
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:54,581
- Look, I don't care if
there's horse manure in it.
- That's-a good.
261
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:58,585
I wanna buy this franchise.
How does a hundred thousand
dollars sound?
262
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:02,621
Forget it-a! We come to Earth
to make-a pizza, not-a money.
263
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:06,459
No, Blek! Other way around.
Oh, right.
Offer accepted.
264
00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:09,695
[ Cheering, Laughing ]
265
00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:14,067
Well, fans, Boston's turning
the last game of the season
into a real squeaker,
266
00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:16,303
and that's with three E's.
267
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:20,307
Two men on, and they're down
to their last out.
268
00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:24,911
Come on, Skipper.
It's my last chance to prove
I'm not the worst player ever.
269
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:28,780
Please put me in.
No! We're actually
winning this game.
270
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,384
You only go in as a joke
when we're eight runs behind,
271
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:34,554
or when our other pitchers
sneak out early
to beat the traffic!
272
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:38,325
Come on! Let's see some
fundamentals out there!
273
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:41,594
[ Horn Honking ]
And not clown fundamentals!
274
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,332
[ Crowd Cheering ]
275
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,935
[ Grumbling ]
276
00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:56,643
Now the bases are loaded!
Isn't there a man on this team
who can get one more out?
277
00:17:56,742 --> 00:18:00,413
- I can!
- I repeat:
Isn't there a man on this--
278
00:18:00,512 --> 00:18:02,582
I've been training
with Hank Aaron.
279
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,951
You've been training
with the Hank Aaron?
280
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:08,154
- I've been training
with a Hank Aaron.
- All right then.
281
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:13,460
Get in there and pitch
like you've never pitched
like you before!
282
00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:17,329
[ Man On P.A. ]
Now pitching for the Mets,
Turanga Leela!
283
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,699
- [ Crowd Cheering Wildly ]
- Bean! Bean!
284
00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:22,134
- Bean! Bean!
- Yea, Leela!
285
00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:24,103
[ Overlapping Chatter ]
286
00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:26,705
Go, Leela!
Put it right down
the pike!
287
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:30,277
Strike him out, Leela!
Do it for the hundreds
of women everywhere!
288
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:34,614
[ Crowd ]
Bean! Bean! Bean! Bean!
[ Man On P.A. ] Your attention.
289
00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:39,117
Now pinch-hitting
for the Poindexters,
Jackie Anderson!
290
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:42,189
- [ All Exclaiming ]
- Will ya look at that?
291
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,991
College blernsball's
finest female hitter
making her big league debut...
292
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,827
against pro ball's
worst female anything.
293
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:53,700
I've never seen anything
this bizarre, and I've seen
Mr. Belvedere naked. Whoo!
294
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,702
Keep cool.
She's just like
any other player.
295
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,239
She puts on her sports bra
one arm at a time.
296
00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:03,476
Uuh!
297
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:06,479
- Stee-rike one!
- [ All Gasp ]
298
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:09,415
[ Gasps ]
Strike one! A personal best.
299
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,417
Uuh!
300
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:16,154
- Stee-rike two!
- [ Crowd Gasps ]
301
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:19,659
[ Uecker ]
Remember, fans, this exciting
moment is brought to you...
302
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,862
by Month-old Franks,
the hot dogs with experience.
303
00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:25,832
Mmm-mm!
304
00:19:37,876 --> 00:19:40,212
Mmm-uuh!
305
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:47,019
Uuh-aah!
306
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:55,862
- [ Fry Gasps ]
- [ All Gasp ]
307
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:58,631
[ Chuckles ]
308
00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:02,234
[ Bell Dings ]
309
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:05,136
- [ Fireworks Exploding ]
- [ Squeaking ]
310
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:14,046
A grand slam blern!
The Mets lose!
Their season is over,
311
00:20:14,145 --> 00:20:18,317
and no question, Leela,
the first woman ever
to reach the majors,
312
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:22,788
will go down as
the single worst player
in the history of blernsball.
313
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:26,992
She's taught the world
that being a bum
knows no gender.
314
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:30,630
[ Crowd Cheering ]
And yet, tonight we have
witnessed the beginning...
315
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:34,066
of a great career
for the first woman
to play the sport well,
316
00:20:34,165 --> 00:20:36,134
Jackie Anderson.
317
00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:40,772
[ Sniffling ]
318
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:44,576
Leela?
Jackie.
I guess you were right.
319
00:20:44,676 --> 00:20:47,279
I'm a lousy role model.
I'm sorry.
320
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:51,483
No, don't be.
It turns out you were
an inspiration after all.
321
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,119
- I was?
- Uh-huh.
322
00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:58,490
You were so awful that women
everywhere set out to prove
they don't stink as bad as you.
323
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:02,961
You know,
like a pig or somethin'.
Oh, that's so kind of you.
324
00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:07,032
- I guess I made
a difference after all.
- You absolutely did, Leela.
325
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:11,202
Now please,
please retire immediately.
326
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,642
Hey, kid. Catch.
327
00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:17,977
Wha-- Ohh!
328
00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:25,484
[ Sighs ]
329
00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:29,188
Well, at least you're still
the worst football player
of all time.
330
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:32,491
Yeah, yeah.
28031
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