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1
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:07,224
[ Man ] One, two! One, two, three!
2
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:35,469
[ Grunting ]
3
00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:40,823
There. I've finished fine-tuning
my "What If" machine.
4
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,173
It can answer any
"What if?" question...
5
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:46,262
accurate to within one-tenth
of a plausibility unit.
6
00:00:46,393 --> 00:00:48,570
That's so plausible
I can't believe it.
7
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,834
Who wants the machine to show
them an alternate reality?
8
00:00:51,963 --> 00:00:55,142
Ooh, ooh! I wanna know what
would happen if I were human.
9
00:00:55,271 --> 00:01:00,060
I mean, being a robot's great,
but we don't have emotions,
10
00:01:00,189 --> 00:01:03,585
and sometimes
that makes me very sad.
[ Sniffles ]
11
00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:06,936
Oh, lordy loo,
there he goes again.
12
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:10,766
Well, let's give baby
what he wants.
13
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:13,551
What if Bender were human?
14
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,603
Good news, everyone!
I've invented a way...
15
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:23,605
to turn Bender into a human...
16
00:01:23,734 --> 00:01:27,304
using a process I call
reverse fossilization.
17
00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:30,829
-How does it work?
-Well, in regular fossilization,
18
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,266
flesh and bone
turn to minerals.
19
00:01:33,396 --> 00:01:37,097
Realizing that,
it was a simple matter
to reverse the process.
20
00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:40,795
I've already tested it
by turning the toaster
into a raccoon.
21
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:43,189
[ Chirping ]
22
00:01:45,234 --> 00:01:47,194
Mmm. Kind of gamy.
23
00:01:47,323 --> 00:01:49,283
Are you ready, Bender?
24
00:01:49,412 --> 00:01:52,198
I don't know.
I'm beginning to have
some second thoughts.
25
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,156
[ Babbling ]
26
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:03,775
[ Moaning ]
27
00:02:06,037 --> 00:02:08,258
Cover your shame, mon!
28
00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:12,218
[ Groaning ][ All Gasp ]
29
00:02:12,348 --> 00:02:16,614
It worked! Eat it everyone
who's never won a Nobel Prize!
30
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:19,269
And that includes you, Amy.
31
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,794
So this is
a human body, huh? Neat.
32
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:26,407
Hey, my antenna's gone!
33
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:30,105
No, it just moved.
I'm not getting good reception
on it, though.
34
00:02:30,236 --> 00:02:32,151
Maybe if I wiggle it
around a little.
35
00:02:32,281 --> 00:02:34,414
[ Whispering ]
Bender, no.
You'll make God cry.
36
00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:38,375
Well, let's see what kind
of things this body can do.
37
00:02:38,506 --> 00:02:41,204
- [ Gasps ]
- Hey, that's pretty fun.
38
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:45,164
[ Laughing ]
Being human is great!
39
00:02:48,079 --> 00:02:51,127
Hooray!
It's just like Mardi Gras.
40
00:02:53,694 --> 00:02:56,610
Guys, guys, you gotta come
into the bathroom
and look at this!
41
00:02:56,740 --> 00:02:58,395
You're not
gonna believe it.
42
00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:01,832
Bender, it's okay to be proud,
but don't be a showoff.
43
00:03:01,963 --> 00:03:03,966
Ooh.
44
00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:07,317
Whoa. You look a lot
better than you used to
for some reason.
45
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:10,189
You're not so bad yourself,
big boy.
46
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,670
Hey, that felt great!
47
00:03:15,455 --> 00:03:19,372
- Nah, it's not working anymore.
- Speak for yourself.
48
00:03:25,856 --> 00:03:27,771
Whoa. This is awesome.
49
00:03:27,902 --> 00:03:30,426
Bender, you drank and smoked
when you were a robot.
50
00:03:30,557 --> 00:03:33,387
But now it's bad for me.
Whoo!
51
00:03:33,516 --> 00:03:35,519
Speaking of which,
try these nachos.
52
00:03:41,002 --> 00:03:45,224
Mmm. Why didn't anyone tell me
tasting things tasted so good?
53
00:03:46,355 --> 00:03:50,186
[ Sighs ] ♪♪ [ Latin Dance Rock ]
54
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:54,756
What's going on?
That rhythm, it's doing
something to my human butt.
55
00:04:00,717 --> 00:04:02,764
[ Laughing ]
56
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:06,157
Bender, part of being human
is having self-control.
57
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:10,510
Oh, my God! I bet I can eat
nachos and go to the bathroom
at the same time.
58
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,338
[ All ]
No, Bender!
59
00:04:12,468 --> 00:04:14,210
Let me go!No!
60
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:17,168
Come, Bender.
It's time to go home and rest.
61
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,432
I need you in top shape
next week...
62
00:04:19,562 --> 00:04:22,435
when I present you to
the Nobel Prize Committee.
63
00:04:22,565 --> 00:04:24,394
Bender?
64
00:04:24,524 --> 00:04:27,353
Good-bye, moderation!
65
00:04:27,483 --> 00:04:30,007
♪ Come on Shake your body
Baby, do the conga ♪
66
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:32,183
♪ I know you can't control yourself any longer ♪
67
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,274
♪ Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger ♪
68
00:04:34,403 --> 00:04:37,058
♪ Don't you fight it till you tried it
Do the conga ♪
69
00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:39,713
♪♪ [ Continues ]
70
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,331
♪♪ [ Ends ]
71
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:59,168
Is Bender still missing
for a week?
Where is he already?
72
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:04,173
As I've said before,
I used reverse fossilization,
73
00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:08,742
which is the reverse
of regular, uh, eh--
74
00:05:08,872 --> 00:05:10,788
Psst! We found him!Ah!
75
00:05:10,918 --> 00:05:13,182
Then without further
stalling for time,
76
00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:15,401
I present to the Nobel judges...
77
00:05:15,531 --> 00:05:19,274
the first robot ever
turned into a human!
78
00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:24,192
[ Groaning ]
79
00:05:25,976 --> 00:05:27,543
[ All Gasp ]
80
00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:30,547
My God!
He needs medical attention!
81
00:05:32,548 --> 00:05:35,334
Pulse: 300.
Liver: failing.
82
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:37,466
Cholesterol: 40?
83
00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:41,036
Well, that's not so bad.No, I mean 40 pounds!
84
00:05:41,165 --> 00:05:45,475
Eww. This, uh,
scientific breakthrough,
85
00:05:45,605 --> 00:05:49,783
uh, heralds a new dawn
in human/robot relations, yes.
86
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:54,048
Come here and
give old Bender a kiss.
87
00:05:54,178 --> 00:05:57,531
- [ Moaning ]
- [ Disgusted Shiver ]
88
00:05:57,661 --> 00:06:00,533
Hey, you like grilled cheese?
89
00:06:01,577 --> 00:06:04,798
And, uh,
that's why I believe...
90
00:06:04,928 --> 00:06:07,278
I deserve the Nobel Prize.
91
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:10,326
Not only do you not deserve
a Nobel Prize...
92
00:06:10,456 --> 00:06:13,589
for loosing this bloated
man-ball upon the world,
93
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:17,377
but you are hereby kicked out
of the Academy of Science!
94
00:06:20,117 --> 00:06:23,382
Wait!
As men of science,
95
00:06:23,512 --> 00:06:26,603
are not your minds
open to new ideas?
96
00:06:26,733 --> 00:06:29,692
I say, do not judge me...
97
00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:33,653
until you have tried my way
of life for yourselves.
98
00:06:33,783 --> 00:06:35,656
[ Gurgling ]
99
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:41,836
Young man, you have
opened our minds
and swayed our hearts.
100
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:45,534
- Let us therefore--
- Party!
101
00:06:47,536 --> 00:06:51,411
- ♪♪ [ Latin Dance Rock ]
- Let's trash this place!
102
00:06:51,540 --> 00:06:53,848
Party![ All Cheering ]
103
00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,632
Whee!
104
00:06:57,154 --> 00:06:59,983
♪ Come on Shake your body
Baby, do the conga ♪
105
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,639
♪ I know you can't control yourself any longer ♪
106
00:07:02,769 --> 00:07:05,598
♪ Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger ♪♪
107
00:07:05,728 --> 00:07:07,949
Bender, you were right.
108
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:11,605
Truly you have lived more in
your one week of being human...
109
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:16,391
than the rest of us have
in our entire lives.Whoo!
110
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:19,786
And so to recognize
your achievements,
111
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:24,531
I hereby award you
the Nobel Prize in...
112
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:27,141
uh, chemistry.
113
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:30,579
Care to say
a few words, Bender?
114
00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:35,932
- He's dead.
- [ All Gasp ]
115
00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:38,718
- When did he die?
- Hmm.
116
00:07:38,848 --> 00:07:41,591
About twelve hours ago
when the party started.
117
00:07:41,721 --> 00:07:47,161
- But he just said "Whoo!"
- No, that was air escaping
from the folds of his fat.
118
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:48,598
Whoo!
119
00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:53,821
[ Farnsworth ] Good night, sweet prince.
120
00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:57,999
You were the greatest man
any of us will ever know.
121
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:02,350
Well, let's get him out of here.
He's starting to
smell up the joint.
122
00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:05,485
Whoo!
123
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:07,487
Whoo!
124
00:08:09,052 --> 00:08:10,533
Whoo!
125
00:08:10,663 --> 00:08:13,754
[ Narrator ] You watched it. You can't un-watch it.
126
00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:15,973
Stay tuned for more...
127
00:08:16,103 --> 00:08:19,367
Tales of Interest.
128
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:26,723
Who else has a question
for the "What If" machine?
129
00:08:26,853 --> 00:08:29,856
Scruffy? Katrina?
Xanthor?
130
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:33,730
Oh! I have one!
I'm good at video games
and bad at everything else.
131
00:08:33,860 --> 00:08:36,645
That's why I wish life
were more like a video game.
132
00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:39,256
Can you put that in the form
of a question?
133
00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:41,738
Uh, what if
that thing I said?
134
00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:48,178
Oh, great machine,
we beseech thee,
135
00:08:48,309 --> 00:08:51,966
what if life were more
like a video game?
136
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,109
Good evening, ignorant pigs.
137
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,634
Put down your crack pipes
and your beer bongs...
138
00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:10,679
and pay attention as I sign
an historic peace accord...
139
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:14,423
with Ambassador Kong
of Planet Nintendu 64.
140
00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:17,120
[ Fry ] Wait a second.
141
00:09:17,251 --> 00:09:19,123
I know that monkey!
His name is Donkey.
142
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:22,431
Monkeys aren't donkeys.
Quit messing with my head!
143
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,869
I'll just put the old
John Q. Nixon on it.
144
00:09:28,784 --> 00:09:32,354
There. No major crap-ups.
You're on, Mr. Ambassador.
145
00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:35,009
[ Grunting ]
146
00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:36,879
What the--
147
00:09:47,716 --> 00:09:49,806
Mama Mia!
148
00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:52,678
The cruel meatball of war
has-a rolled onto our laps,
149
00:09:52,808 --> 00:09:55,332
and-a ruined our
white-a pants of peace.
150
00:09:55,463 --> 00:09:57,118
[ Springing ]
151
00:10:01,296 --> 00:10:04,908
Mr. Fry, rumor has it
that you know the secrets
of the video game "Chance."
152
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,302
Please, step
into the war room.
153
00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:09,739
[ Beeping ]
154
00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:11,740
[ Pac-Man Beeping-like Sounds ]
155
00:10:11,871 --> 00:10:14,875
You'll be meeting
with General Colin Pacman.Wock-a, wock-a, wock-a!
156
00:10:15,004 --> 00:10:18,529
Let's get down to business!
What can you tell us
about the Nintendians?
157
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:21,184
Well, sir, I spent all
of ninth grade studying them,
158
00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:24,580
except for that day when
my eyeballs started to bleed,
and in my opinion--
159
00:10:26,929 --> 00:10:29,279
- [ All Gasp ]
- Quickly!
To the escape tunnels.
160
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:33,763
[ All ]
Wock-a, wock-a, wock-a, wock-a!
161
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:36,722
Wock-a, wock-a, wock-a, wock-a!
162
00:10:36,852 --> 00:10:38,681
This way, damn it!
163
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:40,726
Wock-a, wock-a,
wock-a, wock-a!
164
00:10:40,856 --> 00:10:43,337
Wock-a, wock-a, wock-a, wock-a!
Mmm, delicious!
165
00:10:43,467 --> 00:10:45,818
Just like stale marshmallows!
166
00:10:45,948 --> 00:10:47,951
Ooh, and a cherry!
167
00:10:50,126 --> 00:10:53,216
Wock-a, wock-a, wock-a, wock-a!
168
00:10:53,347 --> 00:10:55,437
Hey, watch out!
169
00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:59,571
Uh-oh!Oh, my God!
He ate Fry!
170
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,922
Fry is dead!
171
00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:05,794
It's okay.
I had another guy.[ Cheering ]
172
00:11:07,535 --> 00:11:09,842
Wock-a, wock-a--
[ Panting ]
173
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:20,157
[ Gasping ]
174
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:24,422
Invaders, possibly from space!
175
00:11:24,552 --> 00:11:27,120
People of Earth,
176
00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:30,994
I am Lrrr of
the Planet Nintendu 64.
177
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:34,911
Tremble in fear at our three
different kinds of ships.
178
00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:37,697
All right.
It's Saturday night.
179
00:11:37,826 --> 00:11:43,136
I have no date,
a two-liter bottle of Shasta
and my all-Rush mix tape.
180
00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:44,703
Let's rock!
181
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:47,140
♪ Today's Tom Sawyer He gets high on you ♪
182
00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:49,970
♪ And the space he invades He gets by on you ♪
183
00:11:56,366 --> 00:11:59,283
We're losing ships, sir.
What are your orders?
184
00:11:59,413 --> 00:12:02,373
Increase speed, drop down
and reverse direction!
185
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:05,812
♪♪ [ Continues ]
186
00:12:07,682 --> 00:12:10,293
I've still got a trick
or two up my sleeve.
187
00:12:10,424 --> 00:12:12,905
Watch as I fire upwards
through our own shield!
188
00:12:13,035 --> 00:12:15,517
[ All Gasp ]He's a madman!
189
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:17,649
A madman!
190
00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:27,094
It's working.
Victory is assured.
191
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:30,445
My retirement tomorrow
will be all the sweeter.
192
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:34,057
[ Screams ]
I'm hit!
193
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,494
So cold.
194
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:39,975
[ High-pitched ]
No!
195
00:12:40,106 --> 00:12:42,413
Amy, tend to
the Widow Pacman.
196
00:12:42,543 --> 00:12:46,068
[ Sobbing ]
Wock-a, wock-a, wock-a.
197
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:49,725
Drop down and increase speed!
198
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,729
One ship is left only.
199
00:12:55,121 --> 00:12:56,993
Come on, Fry!
Get it!
200
00:12:57,124 --> 00:13:00,126
It's moving too fast!
Oh, I could never
get the last one.
201
00:13:00,256 --> 00:13:03,739
- My brother always
got it for me.
- [ Gasping ]
202
00:13:07,698 --> 00:13:11,485
Drop down!
Reverse direction!
Prepare for landing.
203
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,706
[ Explosion Sound ]
204
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:19,798
[ Controls Clacking ] [ Fry Chuckles ]
205
00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:28,458
You are defeated!
Instead of shooting
where I was,
206
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:31,811
you should have shot
at where I was going to be.
[ Laughs ]
207
00:13:36,510 --> 00:13:39,253
All your base
are belong to us.[ Springing ]
208
00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:44,911
[ Speaking Backward ]What do you
monsters want?
209
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,870
One thing, and one thing only.
210
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,918
Quarters!
A million allowances
worth of quarters!
211
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,919
No slugs or tokens!
212
00:13:54,049 --> 00:13:57,879
- Fork 'em over! Fork 'em over!
- Forget it,
you pixilated pirates!
213
00:13:58,010 --> 00:14:01,841
We need those quarters
to do our laundry![ All Shouting Agreement ]
214
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:05,756
But-- But space invaders
need to do laundry too.
215
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,498
I mean,
look at Donkey Kong here.
216
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,849
Have you smelled
his loincloth lately?
217
00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:11,850
- Yes.
- Go away!
218
00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:15,028
We're not giving you
our quarters no matter what!
219
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:18,292
Well, then what if we throw
our laundry in with yours?
220
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,423
- Would that be acceptable?
- I guess so.
221
00:14:20,554 --> 00:14:22,730
Okay then, that settles that.
222
00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:26,952
But if this cape shrinks,
consider your species extinct!
223
00:14:27,082 --> 00:14:28,998
[ Narrator ] Bravo!
224
00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:30,870
That'll be hard to top!
225
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,046
I pity the next...
226
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:35,570
Tale of Interest!
227
00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:45,536
Well, there's time
for one last question.
228
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:48,888
Let's turn to the "Who Asked"
machine to see who's next?
229
00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:54,023
Um, uh, Amy.
230
00:14:54,153 --> 00:14:55,850
- [ Gasps ]
- I mean Leela.
231
00:14:55,981 --> 00:14:57,984
[ Moans ]Okay.
232
00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:01,378
[ Clears Throat ]
As an alien
who was abandoned on Earth,
233
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:03,772
I've never really
belonged anywhere.
234
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,381
Boo hoo!
235
00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:08,384
Ow![ Muttering ]
236
00:15:08,515 --> 00:15:10,125
So my question is this--
237
00:15:10,256 --> 00:15:13,042
What if I found my true home?
238
00:15:14,173 --> 00:15:16,653
Ow!
239
00:15:16,784 --> 00:15:19,048
[ Moaning ]
240
00:15:21,702 --> 00:15:24,183
[ Chittering ]
241
00:15:24,313 --> 00:15:26,881
[ Groaning ]
Where are we?
242
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,235
[ Sinister Laughter ]
243
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:35,107
[ Grunts, Muttering ]
244
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:39,111
[ Crash ]
245
00:15:42,462 --> 00:15:45,900
Nibbler, I don't think
we're in New New York anymore.
246
00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:54,126
Geez, apparently the phrase "tone it down" doesn't exist on this planet.
247
00:15:55,084 --> 00:15:57,086
[ Gasps ]
Oh, no!
248
00:15:57,216 --> 00:16:00,133
We hit someone!
Quick, back into the ship!
249
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,657
Ooh, nice boots.
250
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:04,658
Yuck!
251
00:16:04,788 --> 00:16:08,183
Look, everyone!
She killed the Manwitch
of the West!
252
00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:10,273
[ Cheering ]A witch?
253
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,711
That explains how these boots
magically appeared on my feet.
254
00:16:13,841 --> 00:16:16,539
No, you stole them.
We saw you!
255
00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:20,153
Well, it's hard to find
shoes that fit me.
256
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:22,110
So anyway,
who are you people?
257
00:16:22,241 --> 00:16:24,852
Haven't I seen you
in some copyrighted movie?
258
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,246
♪ We resemble but
are legally distinct ♪
259
00:16:27,376 --> 00:16:29,726
♪ From the Lollipop Guild
the Lollipop-- ♪♪
260
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:35,341
[ Straining ]
261
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:42,436
Greetings, Leela.
I'm the Cute Witch
of the North.
262
00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:45,221
Yeah. Can anyone fix my ship
so I can get home?
263
00:16:45,351 --> 00:16:48,355
Abraca-duh.
Just ask the professor.
264
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:52,010
He lives in
the Emerald Laboratory down
Martin Luther King Boulevard.
265
00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:56,014
You mean that Yellow Brick Road?The City Council renamed it
in 1975.
266
00:16:56,144 --> 00:16:59,105
Ooh, those are great shoes!
267
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:02,107
- Oh, thank you.
- Do they come in women's sizes?
268
00:17:08,330 --> 00:17:10,594
[ Cawing ]
269
00:17:10,724 --> 00:17:14,336
Okay, crow.
Prepare to be scared.
270
00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:18,906
"And then-- honk, honk--
The car honked its own horn!"
271
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,474
Wow. A talking scarecrow.
272
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:25,260
Wanna come with us to see
the professor? He might be able
to give you a brain.
273
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:28,134
Hey! That's not
a nice thing to say.
274
00:17:28,263 --> 00:17:31,267
Beer! Beer!
275
00:17:31,397 --> 00:17:33,095
Whiskey okay?
276
00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:40,145
[ Groans ]Now, did you say you're off
to see the professor?
277
00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,496
'Cause I could use a heart--
a human heart.
278
00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:45,019
I need to pump a lot of blood
out of my basement.
279
00:17:46,368 --> 00:17:48,719
And I'm the other guy,
Courage.
280
00:17:48,849 --> 00:17:51,200
Not enough of it.
Need some from what's-his-name.
281
00:17:55,638 --> 00:17:57,597
Damn this D.S.L.!
282
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:01,384
[ Cackling ]
283
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:03,343
Fly, my stupids!
284
00:18:03,472 --> 00:18:05,345
Fly out and get them!
285
00:18:05,474 --> 00:18:08,957
But, Mommy, you promised
you'd bake monkey cake today.
286
00:18:09,087 --> 00:18:11,525
By "monkey cake,"
I meant your ass!
287
00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:15,442
[ All Groan, Chittering ]
288
00:18:17,269 --> 00:18:19,271
Man, we've been skipping
for hours.
289
00:18:19,402 --> 00:18:21,186
I need to pull over
and take "The Wiz."
290
00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:26,800
What, do I smell or something?
291
00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,846
[ Moans ]
292
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:34,155
Why did you bring us here? And why did I have to take a cab?
293
00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:38,421
I'll tell you
why I brought you here,
you twice-baked barf bags!
294
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:42,076
Because I've always wanted
a daughter to love.
295
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:44,165
You wanna get adopted,
you little skank?
296
00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:47,343
And live here
and be a witch like you?
297
00:18:47,473 --> 00:18:49,301
Yeah, all right.
298
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:53,087
As long as I get to hurt people
and not just dance
around at the equinox.
299
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:57,614
Absolutely.Oh, Mommy!
I found my true home!
300
00:18:57,744 --> 00:18:59,398
[ Cheering ]That's great, Leela!
301
00:18:59,528 --> 00:19:03,619
I've heard worse excuses
to drink. Oops!
302
00:19:03,750 --> 00:19:06,405
I'm melting! Oh!
303
00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:11,846
Who would have thought
a small amount of liquid
would ever fall on me?
304
00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:16,415
Well, no point in
lettin' her go to waste.
305
00:19:26,251 --> 00:19:28,471
Yes?We're here to see
the professor.
306
00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:30,733
No one sees
the mighty professor!
307
00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:33,606
[ Farnsworth ]
Who's there, Hermes?
Is it visitors?
308
00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:35,957
I want to see them!It's nobody!
309
00:19:36,086 --> 00:19:38,873
Now sign that will I gave you!
He's not here.
310
00:19:39,002 --> 00:19:41,396
Oh, for the love of Benji.[ Screams ]
311
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:47,621
[ All Gasp ]
312
00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:49,884
I am the professor!
313
00:19:50,013 --> 00:19:53,278
Great and,
uh, forgetful!
314
00:19:57,673 --> 00:20:00,241
Now, what do you
nice kids want?
315
00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:02,288
Nothing! I'm leaving!
316
00:20:02,417 --> 00:20:05,551
But if you have extra courage,
I'd haul it away for you maybe?
317
00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:08,510
Oh, blithery poop,
my cowardly lobster!
318
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:10,209
You don't need courage.
319
00:20:10,338 --> 00:20:13,255
After all, who needs courage
when you have...
320
00:20:13,385 --> 00:20:15,518
a gun?
321
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:18,433
[ Imitating Gunfire ]
322
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:20,914
Now, world.
You put yourhands up!
323
00:20:21,045 --> 00:20:24,134
And you, lad,
all you need is a brain.
324
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:26,007
Why does everyone
keep saying that?
325
00:20:26,136 --> 00:20:28,314
This is a stickup!
326
00:20:28,443 --> 00:20:30,316
Give me the bag, old man!
327
00:20:30,445 --> 00:20:33,971
[ Chuckles ]
Here you go, my friend.
328
00:20:34,102 --> 00:20:37,323
Five thousand Professor Land
fun bucks.
329
00:20:37,452 --> 00:20:39,367
Oh, crap.
330
00:20:39,499 --> 00:20:42,284
As for you, young lady,
331
00:20:42,414 --> 00:20:44,373
you want to go home, right?
332
00:20:44,503 --> 00:20:48,334
No, not anymore.
I want to stay here and
become the new wicked witch.
333
00:20:48,463 --> 00:20:53,163
Nonsense! Now click
your big honking boots
together three times,
334
00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:55,557
and wish
to go home to Kansas...
335
00:20:55,689 --> 00:21:00,259
to live in poverty
with your dirt-farming,
teetotaling aunt and uncle.
336
00:21:00,388 --> 00:21:03,218
Uh, all right.
Here I go.
337
00:21:06,787 --> 00:21:10,269
There's no place like--
I wanna be a witch!
338
00:21:10,398 --> 00:21:12,357
[ All Gasp ]
339
00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:16,362
[ Cackling ]
340
00:21:19,365 --> 00:21:22,715
Oh, no! Help!
What's happening?
341
00:21:22,846 --> 00:21:27,023
Uh, sorry.
I think there's a problem
with your upstairs toilet.
342
00:21:27,154 --> 00:21:30,157
[ Shuddering ]
343
00:21:32,421 --> 00:21:35,076
Wake up![ Coughs ]
344
00:21:35,205 --> 00:21:37,861
Leela, are you all right?
You got wanged on the head.
345
00:21:37,991 --> 00:21:40,777
I was having
the most wonderful dream,
346
00:21:40,907 --> 00:21:44,259
except you were there,
and you were there,
and you were there.
347
00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:46,479
Never mind, Professor.
She came to.
348
00:21:46,608 --> 00:21:49,307
Oh, so close.
349
00:21:49,438 --> 00:21:51,440
There's always next year,
Professor.
350
00:21:51,570 --> 00:21:53,789
There's always next year.
26760
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