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1
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:37,124
[ Mumbling ]
HMM, SPIDER... HUBBLE...
2
00:00:37,253 --> 00:00:38,167
NITRO... UH-UH.
3
00:00:38,298 --> 00:00:39,822
OOH! BIG PINK!
4
00:00:39,951 --> 00:00:41,128
IT'S THE ONLY GUM
5
00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:43,173
WITH THE BREATH-
FRESHENING POWER OF HAM.
6
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:45,479
AND IT PINKENS YOUR TEETH
WHILE YOU CHEW.
7
00:00:45,609 --> 00:00:50,006
ALL RIGHT, SERGEANT,
$100 WORTH OF PIXY STIX
AND PORNO MAGS
8
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:52,051
WITH YOUR FIVE PERCENT
MILITARY DISCOUNT
9
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:53,575
COMES TO $95.
10
00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:58,274
THAT'LL BE 40 CENTS.
11
00:00:58,405 --> 00:00:59,189
I BELIEVE YOU'RE FORGETTING
12
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,060
ABOUT OUR FIVE PERCENT
MILITARY DISCOUNT.
13
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:03,063
WELL, THAT'S ONLY FOR PEOPLE
IN THE MILITARY.
14
00:01:03,192 --> 00:01:04,325
WHAT?!HUH?
15
00:01:04,454 --> 00:01:06,543
THIS IS THE WORST KIND
OF DISCRIMINATION--
16
00:01:06,674 --> 00:01:08,242
THE KIND AGAINST ME.
17
00:01:08,371 --> 00:01:09,590
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, OUR POLICY IS
18
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:12,072
IF FOR ANY REASON
YOU'RE NOT COMPLETELY SATISFIED,
19
00:01:12,201 --> 00:01:13,507
I HATE YOU.
20
00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:14,378
[ Beeps ]
21
00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:15,987
HEY, FELLAS...WHOA!
22
00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:19,209
OKAY, NOW I'M MAD.
23
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:20,819
[ Ratcheting ]
24
00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:22,385
FULL PRICE FOR GUM?
25
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:25,040
THAT DOG WON'T HUNT,
MONSIGNOR.
26
00:01:29,436 --> 00:01:30,263
HELLO.
27
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:32,656
WE'RE HERE
BECAUSE WE, UH...
28
00:01:32,787 --> 00:01:34,311
LOVE OUR PLANET.
29
00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:35,965
[ Both Snickering ]
30
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,748
SIGN HERE ON THE DOTTED LINE,
PATRIOTS
31
00:01:37,879 --> 00:01:39,664
AND I'LL GIVE YOU
YOUR DISCOUNT CARDS.
32
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:40,883
JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY--
33
00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:42,319
WE CAN USE THE CARDS
TO BUY GUM
34
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:44,146
THEN IMMEDIATELY
QUIT THE ARMY, RIGHT?
35
00:01:44,277 --> 00:01:46,280
YOU KNOW, PLAYING YOU ALL
FOR CHUMPS?
36
00:01:46,409 --> 00:01:47,890
CORRECT.
THERE'S NO OBLIGATION.
37
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:50,893
[ Both Snickering ]
38
00:01:51,022 --> 00:01:54,026
UNLESS OF COURSE...
WAR WERE DECLARED.
39
00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:55,811
[ Alarm Blaring ]WHAT'S THAT?
40
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:58,117
WAR WERE DECLARED.
41
00:02:07,082 --> 00:02:08,215
NOW, BE CAREFUL, FRY
42
00:02:08,344 --> 00:02:12,001
AND IF YOU KILL ANYONE,
MAKE SURE TO EAT THEIR HEART
43
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,394
TO GAIN THEIR COURAGE...
44
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,352
THEIR RICH, TASTY COURAGE.
45
00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:16,831
[ Slurping ]
46
00:02:16,961 --> 00:02:18,834
I DON'T WANT YOU TO WORRY
ABOUT YOUR JOBS
47
00:02:18,963 --> 00:02:20,227
WHILE YOU'RE AWAY.
48
00:02:20,356 --> 00:02:21,836
THAT'S WHY
I'M FIRING YOU NOW.
49
00:02:21,966 --> 00:02:23,925
[ Crying ]
50
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:25,187
I WANT TO ENLIST.
51
00:02:25,318 --> 00:02:27,885
MY FRIENDS ALWAYS DIE
IF I'M NOT THERE TO SAVE THEM.
52
00:02:28,016 --> 00:02:31,324
SORRY, BUT THE
ARMY'S INSTITUTED
A MEN-ONLY POLICY.
53
00:02:31,454 --> 00:02:32,325
WHAT?!
54
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:33,805
IT'S SHAMEFUL,
I AGREE.
55
00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:37,287
IN THE OLDEN DAYS,
I PROUDLY FOUGHT
ALONGSIDE FEMALE TROOPS
56
00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:39,462
SHOULDER TO,
UH... SHOULDER.
57
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,944
ALAS, AFTER A SERIES
OF DEADLY BLUNDERS
58
00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:44,293
CAUSED BY DISTRACTING
LOW-CUT FATIGUES
59
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:45,948
AND LOTS OF HARMLESS PINCHING
60
00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:48,864
THE ARMY DECIDED WOMEN
WEREN'T FIT FOR SERVICE.
61
00:02:48,993 --> 00:02:50,300
NOT WHEN I'M IN CHARGE.
62
00:02:50,430 --> 00:02:52,954
YOU KNOW, ZAPP, SOMEONE OUGHT
TO TEACH YOU A LESSON.
63
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:55,086
IF IT'S A LESSON
IN LOVE, WATCH OUT.
64
00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:57,655
I SUFFER FROM A VERY SEXY
LEARNING DISABILITY.
65
00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,134
WHAT DO I CALL IT, KIFF?
66
00:02:59,265 --> 00:03:00,615
[ Groans ]
67
00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:02,355
SEX-LEXIA.
68
00:03:12,669 --> 00:03:14,977
MEN, YOU'RE LUCKY MEN.
69
00:03:15,106 --> 00:03:17,326
SOON YOU'LL ALL BE FIGHTING
FOR YOUR PLANET.
70
00:03:17,457 --> 00:03:19,199
MANY OF YOU WILL BE DYING
FOR YOUR PLANET.
71
00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:22,331
A FEW OF YOU WILL BE FORCED
THROUGH A FINE-MESHED SCREEN
72
00:03:22,462 --> 00:03:23,985
FOR YOUR PLANET.
73
00:03:24,115 --> 00:03:25,204
THEY WILL BE
THE LUCKIEST OF ALL.
74
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:27,424
GREAT.
WE'RE GONNA DIE.
75
00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:30,210
AND THIS HAM GUM
IS ALL BONES.
76
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:33,300
NOW TO PRESENT THE LOGISTICS
OF OUR MISSION
77
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:34,474
THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF.
78
00:03:34,604 --> 00:03:37,128
PLEASE WELCOME THE ORIGINAL
GERBER BABY
79
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,653
EARTH PRESIDENT
RICHARD M. NIXON.
80
00:03:39,783 --> 00:03:41,699
[ Scattered Applause ]
81
00:03:41,829 --> 00:03:44,006
THIS IS THE BRASS RING, FELLAS.
82
00:03:44,135 --> 00:03:44,701
[ Beeps ]
83
00:03:44,832 --> 00:03:46,747
PLANET SPHERON ONE.
84
00:03:46,877 --> 00:03:48,575
[ Fry ]
COOL EFFECT!
85
00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:51,013
IT'S A DESOLATE, UGLY,
LITTLE PLANET
86
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:53,319
WITH ABSOLUTELY
NO NATURAL RESOURCES
87
00:03:53,449 --> 00:03:54,450
OR STRATEGIC VALUE.
88
00:03:54,581 --> 00:03:55,496
QUESTIONS?
89
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:59,021
WHY IS THIS GODFORSAKEN PLANET
WORTH DYING FOR?
90
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,502
DON'T ASK ME. YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO'S GOING TO BE DYING.
91
00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:03,981
UH, JUST SO WE'LL KNOW,
WHO'S THE ENEMY?
92
00:04:04,112 --> 00:04:04,983
A VALID QUESTION.
93
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:07,463
WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT
THEIR LANGUAGE
94
00:04:07,594 --> 00:04:09,813
THEIR HISTORY,
OR WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE
95
00:04:09,944 --> 00:04:11,337
BUT WE CAN ASSUME THIS:
96
00:04:11,467 --> 00:04:14,296
THEY STAND FOR EVERYTHING
WE DON'T STAND FOR.
97
00:04:14,427 --> 00:04:17,430
ALSO, THEY TOLD ME YOU GUYS
LOOK LIKE DORKS.
98
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,170
THEYLOOK LIKE DORKS!
99
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:21,043
OH, I'M GONNA...
100
00:04:25,002 --> 00:04:26,221
MM-HMM.
101
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:27,266
MM-HMM.
102
00:04:34,795 --> 00:04:37,494
[ Muffled Exclamations ]
103
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:40,279
WHAT'S THE MATTER, PRIVATE?
TENT GOT YOUR TONGUE?
104
00:04:40,409 --> 00:04:42,019
[ Laughing ]
TENT GOT YOUR...
105
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,980
KIFF, WRITE THAT DOWN
AND SEND IT TO
"HUMOR IN UNIFORM."
106
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:50,812
AW... OH!
107
00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:51,812
HMM.
108
00:04:52,987 --> 00:04:54,163
[ Laser Humming ]
109
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,819
[ Grunting ]
110
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,475
[ Clamoring ]
111
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,389
[ Panting And Grunting ]
112
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,363
WHOA!
CHECK OUT THATGUY.
113
00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:24,584
HE MAKES SPEEDY GONZALES
LOOK LIKE REGULAR GONZALES.
114
00:05:24,714 --> 00:05:27,500
[ Panting ]
115
00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:30,024
THAT NEW RECRUIT IS
PHENOMENAL, SIR.
116
00:05:30,154 --> 00:05:33,245
YES. HE EDGED OUT MY OLD MARK
BY TWO SECONDS.
117
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,465
AND 16 MINUTES.
118
00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:36,683
AND 12 HOURS.
119
00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:39,903
I DO PLAN TO FINISH
SOMEDAY, KIFF.
120
00:05:40,034 --> 00:05:41,644
GOOD HUSTLE, SOLDIER.
121
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:42,776
[ Falsetto ]
OH!
122
00:05:42,906 --> 00:05:44,778
[ Lower Voice ]
UH, SORRY, SIR.
123
00:05:44,908 --> 00:05:46,389
I WAS STILL
IN ATTACK MODE.
124
00:05:46,519 --> 00:05:48,348
YOU KNOW HOW
TESTOSTERONE IS.
125
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:52,090
AS A BUBBLING CROCK-POT
OF MALE HORMONES, I SURE DO.
126
00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:53,569
WHAT'S YOUR NAME,
PRIVATE?
127
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:56,572
LEE... LA... MAN.
128
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:57,704
LA-MAN.
129
00:05:57,834 --> 00:05:58,793
LEMON!
130
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:00,098
LEE LEMON, SIR.
131
00:06:00,271 --> 00:06:02,230
LEMON, YOU'RE A MAN'S MAN.
132
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,146
YOU'RE A MAN'S MAN'S MAN.
133
00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:05,538
AND MORE IMPORTANTLY
134
00:06:05,668 --> 00:06:07,802
YOUR HAND, WHILE FIRM
AND MASCULINE
135
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,629
IS SOFT AS A VELVET CHILD.
136
00:06:09,759 --> 00:06:11,370
WHAT LOTION DO YOU USE?
137
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:13,024
PERT 'N' POPULAR, SIR.
138
00:06:13,154 --> 00:06:14,242
ROGER THAT.
139
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,418
KIFF, GET ME TEN CASES
OF PERT 'N' POPULAR.
140
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:18,812
WHAT SHALL I DO
WITH YOUR JERGENS, SIR?
141
00:06:18,942 --> 00:06:21,380
SQUIRT IT ON
SOME HOMELESS MAN
WITH DRY ELBOWS.
142
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:25,384
PRIVATE LEE LEMON MAY WELL BE
THE FINEST RECRUIT I'VE SEEN
143
00:06:25,514 --> 00:06:27,387
IN ALL MY YEARS OF SERVICE.
144
00:06:27,516 --> 00:06:29,605
THAT YOUNG MAN FILLS ME
WITH HOPE...
145
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:32,391
AND SOME OTHER EMOTIONS
THAT ARE WEIRD AND...
146
00:06:32,521 --> 00:06:33,523
DEEPLY CONFUSING ME.
147
00:06:33,653 --> 00:06:34,829
EW.
148
00:06:39,615 --> 00:06:41,182
[ Beeping ]
149
00:06:41,312 --> 00:06:43,620
[ Zapp, Lasciviously ]
HELLO.
150
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,494
[ Slurping ]
MMM.
151
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:49,103
NOW THAT'S
A NICE ROSE.
152
00:06:49,233 --> 00:06:50,932
SO, ANYWAY,
WE OPEN UP THE PANDA CRATE
153
00:06:51,062 --> 00:06:53,629
AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT,
THE DAMN THING'S DEAD.
154
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:54,762
UPCHUCKED ITS BAMBOO.
155
00:06:54,891 --> 00:06:56,197
TRUE STORY.
156
00:06:56,327 --> 00:06:57,591
UH-HUH. UH-HUH.
157
00:06:57,721 --> 00:06:59,636
THAT'S WHATEVER-YOU-WERE-
TALKING-ABOUT FOR YOU.
158
00:07:00,723 --> 00:07:03,509
- MIND IF WE SIT WITH YOU?
- UH, HEY.
159
00:07:03,639 --> 00:07:06,555
WHY THE HELL WOULD I?
WE'RE ALL GUYS HERE.
160
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,776
SWEATY, HAIRY, GASSY GUYS.
161
00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:10,865
GOOD POINT. I GUESS.
162
00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:13,432
YOU'RE MY KIND OF SOLDIER,
LEMON--
163
00:07:13,562 --> 00:07:18,002
A FOUL-MOUTHED, BARREL-CHESTED,
BEER-BELLY PILE OF UGLY MUSCLE.
164
00:07:18,132 --> 00:07:21,615
SO, ANY OF YOU FELLAS GOT
A SPECIAL LADY BACK HOME?
165
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:24,312
WELL, I SORT HAVE A THING
FOR THIS GIRL I WORK WITH.
166
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:25,314
REALLY?
167
00:07:25,444 --> 00:07:26,533
WHAT TYPE IS SHE?
168
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:29,579
YOU KNOW, BLONDE, OR CHINESE,
OR CYCLOPS?
169
00:07:29,709 --> 00:07:30,406
CYCLOPS.
170
00:07:30,536 --> 00:07:31,406
AW.
171
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,191
SHE SOUNDS SWEET.
172
00:07:33,322 --> 00:07:35,629
BUT SWEET GIRLS
AREN'T FOR YOU, EH?
173
00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:39,153
YOU HARD-FIGHTIN',
HARD-FARTIN',
UGLY, UGLY SON OF A...
174
00:07:39,283 --> 00:07:40,981
STOP!
STOP FLATTERING ME.
175
00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:42,026
[ Zapp ]
TEN-HUT!
176
00:07:42,156 --> 00:07:46,161
WELL, WELL, WELL,
IF IT ISN'T LEE LEMON
177
00:07:46,290 --> 00:07:49,730
THE FLAMING STAR
OF BRANNIGAN'S ROUGH RANGERS.
178
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,992
SAY, UH, LEMON,
DO YOU LIKE TO READ?
179
00:07:52,122 --> 00:07:53,995
I JUST GOT A GREAT BOOK
ON TAPE.
180
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,127
IT'S ABOUT LIFE
IN ANCIENT GREECE AND...
181
00:07:56,257 --> 00:07:58,478
[ Alarm Blaring ]
182
00:07:58,608 --> 00:07:59,608
SIR, THE ALARM.
183
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,959
I THINK I BETTER...SHH!
184
00:08:02,089 --> 00:08:03,744
DON'T TALK. JUST GO.
185
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:12,055
WE ARE NOW IN POSITION
ABOVE SPHERON ONE.
186
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:14,189
THIS IS THE MOMENT
WE WERE TRAINING FOR
187
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:15,798
ALL YESTERDAY AFTERNOON.
188
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,670
AND NOW FOR THE BATTLE PLAN.
189
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:18,802
AS YOU ALL KNOW
190
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:22,413
THE KEY TO VICTORY
IS THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE.
191
00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:23,764
SURPRISE!
192
00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:24,547
[ All Yelling ]
193
00:08:24,677 --> 00:08:26,766
[ Groaning ]
194
00:08:33,860 --> 00:08:36,732
[ Nervous Murmuring ]
195
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,168
IT'S CREEPY HERE.
196
00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:39,735
THIS IS THE WORST PART--
197
00:08:39,866 --> 00:08:41,520
THE CALM BEFORE
THE BATTLE.
198
00:08:41,650 --> 00:08:43,434
AND THEN THE BATTLE'S
NOT SO BAD?
199
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:45,654
OH, RIGHT.
I FORGOT ABOUT THE BATTLE.
200
00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:46,743
[ Whimpers ]
201
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:48,745
[ Thudding ]
202
00:08:48,875 --> 00:08:49,789
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
203
00:08:49,919 --> 00:08:51,182
HOLY SHOOT!
204
00:08:51,312 --> 00:08:52,226
LOOKY!
205
00:08:52,356 --> 00:08:54,620
[ Fry ]
THE ENEMY, THEY'RE BALLS!
206
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:55,709
[ Grunts ]
207
00:08:55,838 --> 00:08:56,623
OW!
208
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:57,754
[ Hissing ]
209
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:01,628
[ Sputters ]
210
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:02,759
CHARGE YOUR GUN, FRY!
211
00:09:02,889 --> 00:09:04,065
OH, RIGHT.
212
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:07,110
[ Gun Plays
"Pop Goes The Weasel" ]
213
00:09:07,241 --> 00:09:10,201
[ Whinny ]WATCH WHERE YOU'RE
SHOOTING, PRIVATE.
214
00:09:10,331 --> 00:09:11,768
YOU SPOOKED FELICITY.
215
00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:13,552
THERE, THERE, BOY.
216
00:09:13,682 --> 00:09:15,729
[ Grunting ]
217
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:16,903
[ Grunting ]
218
00:09:17,033 --> 00:09:18,731
YAH!
219
00:09:18,861 --> 00:09:19,123
WHAA!
220
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:19,775
HEE! HA!
221
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:20,777
YE-OW!
222
00:09:23,692 --> 00:09:25,565
[ Moaning ]
GIVE THIS TO MY SON.
223
00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:26,740
YOU GOT IT.
224
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:28,871
WAIT. I DIDN'T TELL YOU
WHERE HE LIVES.
225
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:32,354
HEY, I THINK YOUR SON
MIGHT ALSO LIKE THOSE BOOTS.
226
00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:38,142
[ Guns Play
Pop Goes The Weasel" ]
227
00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:39,490
COVER US, BUDDY!
228
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:42,145
YOU GOT THE ONLY WOUNDED UP
POSITRON SHOOTER.
229
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:43,582
[ Exploding ]
230
00:09:43,712 --> 00:09:44,584
[ Whimpering ]
231
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:47,847
[ Screams ]
232
00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:52,068
FRY, YOU EMU-BELLIED COWARD!
233
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,027
AAH!
234
00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:54,855
OH!
235
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:56,856
[ All Grunting ]
236
00:10:03,907 --> 00:10:05,081
[ Whimpers ]
237
00:10:07,562 --> 00:10:09,086
[ All Screaming ]
238
00:10:10,173 --> 00:10:11,480
BENDER, NO!
239
00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:13,700
IF THEY PUT ME ON A STAMP
240
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:17,268
TELL THEM TO USE
THE YOUNG BENDER.
241
00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:19,706
[ Muffled Explosion ]
242
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:25,711
[ Theme FromMASH Plays ]
243
00:10:25,841 --> 00:10:27,408
[ Man Over P.A. ]
INCOMING WOUNDED.
244
00:10:27,538 --> 00:10:29,629
ALL PERSONNEL REPORT
TO OPERATING TENT FOUR.
245
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:30,890
REPEAT: FOUR.
246
00:10:31,020 --> 00:10:32,196
I-I MEAN, FIVE.
247
00:10:32,326 --> 00:10:33,544
REPEAT: FOUR.
248
00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:36,200
ARE YOU READY TO OPERATE,
DOCTOR?
249
00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:38,942
I'D LOVE TO, BUT FIRST
I HAVE TO PERFORM SURGERY.
250
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,509
[ Chuckling ]
251
00:10:40,639 --> 00:10:41,683
I KID, I KID.
252
00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:42,946
[ Tearing ]
253
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,644
[ Monitors Beeping ]
254
00:10:47,821 --> 00:10:49,865
SCALPEL.
255
00:10:49,996 --> 00:10:51,346
BLOOD BUCKET.
256
00:10:51,475 --> 00:10:52,782
PRIEST.
257
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:53,956
NEXT PATIENT!
258
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,133
GEEZ, ZOIDBERG, LEAVE SOME
FOR THE ENEMY TO KILL.
259
00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:57,657
LEAVE DR. ZOIDBERG ALONE.
260
00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,528
HE HAS TWICE THE TRAINING
YOU DO.
261
00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:01,791
YEAH, HE'S A DOCTOR
ANDA BUTCHER.
262
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:03,575
[ Both Laughing ]
263
00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,229
OH, SEE? THIS IS
HOW IT STARTS--
264
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,403
FIRST WITH THE JOKES
265
00:11:06,534 --> 00:11:07,797
THEN COMES THE HEAVY STUFF.
266
00:11:07,927 --> 00:11:08,668
[ Laughing ]
267
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:11,105
WHEN WILL THE KILLING END?
268
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,586
LOOK AT
THIS SISSY, KIFF.
269
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,893
WHILE OTHERS WERE FIGHTING
AND DYING POINTLESSLY
270
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,024
HE WAS HIDING IN A HOLE
271
00:11:18,154 --> 00:11:20,679
WALLOWING IN A POOL
OF HIS OWN COWARDICE.
272
00:11:20,809 --> 00:11:21,942
THAT WASN'T COWARDICE.
273
00:11:22,072 --> 00:11:23,769
I'M DE-PROMOTING YOU,
SOLDIER.
274
00:11:23,899 --> 00:11:27,120
KIFF, WHAT'S THE MOST
HUMILIATING JOB THERE IS?
275
00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:29,253
BEING
YOUR ASSISTANT.
276
00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:30,558
WRONG.
277
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,734
BEING YOURASSISTANT.
278
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,996
PRIVATE FRY,
YOU SHALL HENCEFORTH SERVE
279
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:35,869
AS KIFF'S ASSISTANT.
280
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:37,000
THAT DOESN'T SOUND TOO BAD.
281
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,394
YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN I TELL
YOU TO, YOU FILTHY WORM!
282
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,701
I'M AFRAID HE'S GONE.
283
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:42,918
WHOA, DOC, I AIN'T DEAD.
284
00:11:43,049 --> 00:11:46,139
EXCUSE ME. I BELIEVE
I'M THE DOCTOR.
285
00:11:46,269 --> 00:11:48,229
BELIEVE IT ALL YOU WANT.
THAT WON'T MAKE IT TRUE.
286
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,144
[ Laughs ]
287
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:52,450
THIS ISN'T A WAR.
IT'S A MURDER.
288
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:54,582
[ As Groucho Marx ]
THIS ISN'T A WAR. IT'S A MURDER.
289
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:58,934
BENDER, OLD BUDDY,
HANG IN THERE.
290
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,895
[ Groans ]
291
00:12:03,025 --> 00:12:04,767
HERE LIES THE BRAVEST SOLDIER
I'VE SEEN
292
00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:06,942
SINCE MY MIRROR
GOT GREASE ON IT.
293
00:12:07,073 --> 00:12:08,770
I HEREBY ORDER
THAT IN BENDER'S HONOR
294
00:12:08,902 --> 00:12:11,860
HE BE MELTED DOWN AND MADE
INTO A STATUE OF HIMSELF.
295
00:12:11,991 --> 00:12:13,601
SLOW DOWN THERE, STARSKY.
296
00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:15,168
I'M UP TO SOMETHING HERE.
297
00:12:15,298 --> 00:12:17,039
I WANT THIS ROBOT FIXED--
298
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:20,390
FIXED LIKE KENNEDY FIXED
THE 1960 ELECTION.
299
00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:22,653
DAMN BEAN-EATING WAR HERO.
300
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,091
ARE YOU READY TO OPERATE,
DOCTOR?
301
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:26,615
I'D LOVE TO, BUT FIRST
I HAVE TO PERFORM SURGERY.
302
00:12:26,745 --> 00:12:27,921
[ Laughs ]
303
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,399
THAT'S MY JOKE.
304
00:12:29,530 --> 00:12:30,923
I'LL KILL YOU!
305
00:12:31,053 --> 00:12:32,403
[ Growls ]OH!
306
00:12:32,533 --> 00:12:33,883
[ Artillery Exploding ]
307
00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:37,844
[ Slurps ]
308
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:39,889
AH... PREWAR SCOTCH.
309
00:12:43,283 --> 00:12:44,720
WELCOME,
LIEUTENANT BENDER.
310
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:45,981
YOU'RE LOOKING SHARP.
311
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,418
I GOT WHEELS WITH
CLICKETY CLACKERS.
312
00:12:48,549 --> 00:12:49,681
[ Clicking ]
313
00:12:51,073 --> 00:12:53,423
DAMN IT, KIFF, WHERE'S
THE LITTLE UMBRELLA?
314
00:12:53,554 --> 00:12:55,948
THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT
A SCOTCH ON THE ROCKS.
315
00:12:56,078 --> 00:12:57,951
ACTUALLY, SIR... OOH!
316
00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,865
MAKE ME A NEW ONE.
317
00:13:00,909 --> 00:13:03,477
USE A BRUSH,
YOU DUNDERHEAD
318
00:13:03,607 --> 00:13:05,740
AND MIX THESE
MIXED NUTS.
319
00:13:05,871 --> 00:13:07,874
I SEE TWO ALMONDS
TOUCHING.
320
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:09,658
NOW LISTEN HERE,
BENDER.
321
00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:12,792
THIS WAR IS IN DANGER
OF GOING ALL QUAGMIRE ON ME.
322
00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:15,663
SO, I'M SENDING YOU
ON ONE LAST MISSION.
323
00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:17,447
HOT DIGGITY DAFFODIL!
324
00:13:17,578 --> 00:13:19,841
- A MISSION OF PEACE.
- [ Groans ]
325
00:13:19,972 --> 00:13:21,017
YOU'LL BE NEGOTIATING
326
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,452
WITH THE ALIENS'
MYSTERIOUS LEADERS
327
00:13:22,583 --> 00:13:23,932
THE BRAIN BALLS.
328
00:13:24,063 --> 00:13:25,326
THEY'VE GOT A LOT OF BRAINS
329
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,719
AND THEY'VE GOT
A LOT OF CHUTZPAH.
330
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:30,331
ACCOMPANYING YOU WILL BE
OUR TOP PEACE NEGOTIATOR...
331
00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:32,115
HENRY KISSINGER.
332
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,072
HOW ARE YOU?
333
00:13:33,202 --> 00:13:34,335
IS HE ANY GOOD?
334
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,552
LOOKING LIKE THAT
335
00:13:35,683 --> 00:13:37,817
HE TALKED HIS WAY INTO
JILL ST. JOHN'S BED.
336
00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:38,817
'NUFF SAID.
337
00:13:38,947 --> 00:13:40,688
[ Helicopter Whirring ]
338
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:46,826
♪ I'M SO DIZZY,
MY HEAD IS SPINNING ♪
339
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:49,915
♪ LIKE A WHIRLPOOL,
IT NEVER ENDS... ♪
340
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,961
A LITTLE LOWER.
341
00:13:52,091 --> 00:13:53,309
LOWER.
342
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:54,572
LOWER.
343
00:13:54,702 --> 00:13:55,835
A LOT LOWER.
344
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:56,923
TOO LOW!
345
00:13:57,052 --> 00:13:58,837
LOWER.
346
00:13:58,967 --> 00:13:59,838
[ Groans ]
347
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:02,624
♪ I'M WALKING
ON SUNSHINE ♪
348
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:04,321
♪ OH-OH-OH...
349
00:14:04,451 --> 00:14:06,019
[ Humming ]
350
00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:08,847
[ Gasps ]
351
00:14:08,977 --> 00:14:10,023
PRIVATE LEMON...
352
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,024
NO NEED TO LEAVE.
353
00:14:11,153 --> 00:14:12,851
MY STALL JUST BECAME FREE.
354
00:14:12,981 --> 00:14:15,505
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
PUT ON A TOWEL, SIR.
355
00:14:15,636 --> 00:14:16,985
RIGHT, RIGHT.
356
00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:21,990
I'M ABOUT TO TRY THE NEW LOTION
YOU RECOMMENDED.
357
00:14:22,121 --> 00:14:24,514
IF I SHOULD ACCIDENTALLY
PUT TOO MUCH ON MY HANDS
358
00:14:24,645 --> 00:14:26,648
PERHAPS I COULD
RUB IT ONTO YOU.
359
00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:28,083
[ Gagging ]
360
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:29,956
[ Nixon ]
BRANNIGAN!
HMM?
361
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:32,306
MY GOD, COVER YOURSELF.
362
00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:33,915
I DIDN'T LIVE
A THOUSAND YEARS
363
00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:35,744
AND TRAVEL
A QUADRILLION MILES
364
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,876
TO LOOK AT
ANOTHER MAN'S GIZMO.
365
00:14:38,006 --> 00:14:39,748
SORRY, MR. PRESIDENT.
366
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,053
I DIDN'T REALIZE.
367
00:14:41,183 --> 00:14:43,360
KIFF, RAISE HIM UP
ABOUT NIPPLE HIGH.
368
00:14:43,490 --> 00:14:46,363
COME ON, BRANNIGAN, STUFF
YOURSELF INTO A UNIFORM.
369
00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:48,061
WE'VE GOT TO
GET OFF THIS PLANET
370
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:49,235
BEFORE THE BOMB
GOES OFF.
371
00:14:49,365 --> 00:14:50,411
BOMB?!
372
00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:51,586
WHAT BOMB?
373
00:14:51,716 --> 00:14:53,109
THE ONE WE HAD
THE DOCTORS IMPLANT
374
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:54,894
IN THAT GULLIBLE
BENDER ROBOT.
375
00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:56,634
[ Gasps ] [ Brays ]
376
00:14:59,462 --> 00:15:00,376
MMM...
377
00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:01,596
ZAPP. ZAPP!HMM?
378
00:15:01,725 --> 00:15:03,553
INSPECT THE
TROOPS LATER.
379
00:15:03,684 --> 00:15:06,121
IT'S TIME TO ACTIVATE THE BOMB.
380
00:15:07,688 --> 00:15:08,864
[ Beeps ]
381
00:15:10,778 --> 00:15:12,606
[ Kissinger ]
NOW AS FOR ECONOMIC
COOPERATION...
382
00:15:12,736 --> 00:15:13,695
[ Beeps ]
383
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,914
OH. EXCUSE ME.
384
00:15:16,044 --> 00:15:18,918
[ Ticking ]
385
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,923
[ Man On P.A. ]
ATTENTION...
386
00:15:25,053 --> 00:15:27,796
ALL PERSONNEL EVACUATE
THE PLANET IMMEDIATELY.
387
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,928
AND NOT JUST BECAUSE
IT'S MEAT LOAF NIGHT.
388
00:15:30,058 --> 00:15:32,932
COME ALONG, LEMON, BEFORE
THIS WHOLE DUMP BLOWS UP.
389
00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:34,019
UH, COMMANDER...
390
00:15:34,149 --> 00:15:36,022
COULD YOU TELL ME
WHEN THE BOMB IS EXPLODING?
391
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:38,459
OF COURSE,
MY SIGNIFICANT SOLDIER.
392
00:15:38,588 --> 00:15:40,155
THE BOMB IS VOICE ACTIVATED.
393
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:41,375
IT WILL DETONATE THE INSTANT
394
00:15:41,504 --> 00:15:44,203
THE ROBOT UNWITTINGLY
SPEAKS A CERTAIN WORD.
395
00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:46,162
WHAT'S THE WORD...
UH, SIR?
396
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:49,077
IT'S THE ONE WORD THE ROBOT USES
MORE THAN ANY OTHER.
397
00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:51,211
WE GOT IT FROM THIS
CONVENIENT DATABASE
398
00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:54,518
OF HIS TEN MOST
FREQUENTLY USED WORDS.
399
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:58,479
- [ Theme Music Plays ]
- [ Brannigan Reciting ]
400
00:16:09,924 --> 00:16:11,666
NUMBER FIVE: "BITE."
401
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:13,754
NUMBER FOUR: "MY." [ Gasps ]
402
00:16:18,889 --> 00:16:22,110
AND BENDER'S NUMBER ONE
MOST FREQUENTLY UTTERED WORD
403
00:16:22,241 --> 00:16:25,418
THE WORD WHICH, IF UTTERED, WILL
BLOW UP THIS ENTIRE PLANET...
404
00:16:25,548 --> 00:16:27,159
[ Drumroll ]
405
00:16:27,289 --> 00:16:28,988
[ Gasps ]WE DON'T HAVE LONG.
406
00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:31,947
[ Brain Ball ]
WE DEMAND BOUNCING,
FOLLOWED BY ROLLING,
407
00:16:32,077 --> 00:16:33,514
FOLLOWED BY ROLLING
OF THE THIRD TYPE.
408
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:34,688
SAY WHAT?
409
00:16:34,818 --> 00:16:36,081
MY CHAIR'S TOO HARD.
410
00:16:36,211 --> 00:16:37,648
IT'S A REAL PAIN
IN THE...
411
00:16:37,778 --> 00:16:38,998
UH, WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?
412
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:40,302
LOWER BACK.
413
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:41,956
YEAH, THAT WHOLE REGION.
414
00:16:53,881 --> 00:16:55,710
OKAY. I GOT TO
BREAK DOWN THAT GATE
415
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,754
BEAT UP THOSE THREE GUARDS,
STEAL THAT CHOPPER
416
00:16:57,885 --> 00:16:59,018
AND RESCUE BENDER.
417
00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:00,322
[ Grunting ]
418
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,020
[ Karate Yell ]
419
00:17:02,150 --> 00:17:03,326
HEY, I DID IT.
420
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,893
WAIT, THAT'S NOT ME.
421
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:07,503
COME ON, WE GOT
TO SAVE BENDER.
422
00:17:07,634 --> 00:17:09,244
YOU WANT TO SAVE HIM,
TOO, LEMON?
423
00:17:09,375 --> 00:17:10,463
YOU BARELY KNOW HIM.
424
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:12,596
FRY, DON'T YOU
RECOGNIZE ME?
425
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,119
HERMES?
426
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,164
LEE... WHEN WILL
I SEE YOU AGAIN?
427
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:18,515
[ Gasps ]
428
00:17:18,645 --> 00:17:21,039
THE TWO OF YOU ARE...
GOOD FRIENDS?
429
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:23,954
BUT I THOUGHT WE WOULD BE...
GOOD FRIENDS.
430
00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:26,393
WELL, LET'S SEE
HOW FRIENDLY YOU GET
431
00:17:26,522 --> 00:17:28,786
WHEN YOU'RE SHARING
A PRISON CELL.
432
00:17:28,916 --> 00:17:29,830
[ Karate Yell ]
433
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:31,833
[ Grunting ]
434
00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:36,229
HEY, ZAPP.
HUH?
435
00:17:37,838 --> 00:17:38,839
LEELA!
LEELA.
436
00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:41,233
SO IT'S YOU
I'VE BEEN ATTRACTED TO.
437
00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:43,278
OH, GOD,
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY
438
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:45,151
TO BE BEATEN UP BY A WOMAN.
439
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,195
LET'S DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME.
440
00:17:49,415 --> 00:17:52,854
THE ELDERS TELL OF
A YOUNG BALL MUCH LIKE YOU.
441
00:17:52,983 --> 00:17:55,203
HE BOUNCED THREE
METERS IN THE AIR.
442
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:57,554
THEN, HE BOUNCED
1.8 METERS IN THE AIR.
443
00:17:57,684 --> 00:18:01,557
THEN, HE BOUNCED FOUR METERS
IN THE AIR.
444
00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:02,777
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?
445
00:18:02,906 --> 00:18:06,606
MR. AMBASSADOR,
OUR PEOPLE TELL THE SAME STORY.
446
00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:07,955
OY.
447
00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:09,174
[ Groans ]
448
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,394
THESE BALLS ARE
MAKING ME TESTY!
449
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:13,656
IF THEY DON'T STOP
BOUNCING AND JIGGLING
450
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:16,355
I SWEAR I'M GOING TO SHOVE
THIS TREATY UP THEIR...
451
00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:17,617
WAIT A SECOND.
452
00:18:17,748 --> 00:18:19,228
WHERE DO YOU SHOVE THINGS
UP A BALL?
453
00:18:19,358 --> 00:18:21,838
THIS ISN'T A PRODUCTIVE AREA
OF DISCUSSION.
454
00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:26,234
WE'RE HERE.
455
00:18:26,365 --> 00:18:28,019
I FOLLOWED THE BOUNCING BALLS.
456
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,846
I'LL KEEP THE CHOPPER
AT A SAFE ALTITUDE
457
00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:31,587
WHILE YOU PARACHUTE DOWN.
458
00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:33,023
OKAY.
459
00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,852
MY BEST FRIEND'S LIFE
IS AT STAKE.
460
00:18:34,982 --> 00:18:37,289
I CAN FINALLY PROVE
THAT I'M NOT A COWARD.
461
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:38,464
[ Sighs ]
462
00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:40,205
WILL YOU PUSH ME?
463
00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:41,207
I ALREADY DID.
464
00:18:41,336 --> 00:18:44,165
THANK YOU!
465
00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:46,298
[ Groans ]
466
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:49,432
[ Grunting ]
467
00:18:53,435 --> 00:18:57,135
AT LAST...
WAR HAS MADE ME INTO A MAN.
468
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:59,834
WHEE!
469
00:18:59,963 --> 00:19:01,575
PLEASE, GENTLEMEN
470
00:19:01,704 --> 00:19:04,098
WE MUST PUT AN END
TO THE BLOODSHED.
471
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:07,276
WE HAVE ALL SEEN TOO MANY
BODY BAGS AND BALL SACKS.
472
00:19:07,406 --> 00:19:11,150
WE CANNOT CONDONE BOUNCING
OF THE SEVENTH VARIETY.
473
00:19:11,279 --> 00:19:12,193
ENOUGH
OF THIS CRAP!
474
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:15,284
I'M CATCHING THE NEXT PIMPMOBILE
OUT OF HERE
475
00:19:15,414 --> 00:19:18,634
BUT BEFORE I GO,
I HAVE ONE THING TO SAY.
476
00:19:18,766 --> 00:19:22,726
BITE MY SHINY... METAL...
477
00:19:22,856 --> 00:19:23,640
[ Fry ]
STOP!
478
00:19:23,770 --> 00:19:25,250
YOU CAN'T SAY THE NEXT WORD.
479
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:26,295
UP YOURS, CHUMP.
480
00:19:26,425 --> 00:19:29,124
I SAID IT 906 TIMES
BEFORE LUNCH.
481
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:31,038
BENDER, IF YOU SAY
THE "A" WORD
482
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,693
YOU'LL BLOW THIS WHOLE PLANET
STRAIGHT TO THE "H" WORD.
483
00:19:36,261 --> 00:19:37,175
[ Both Gasping ]
484
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:38,176
YOUNG MAN...
485
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,134
YOU HAVE THE BRAVERY
OF A HERO
486
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,397
AND BREATH AS FRESH
AS A SUMMER HAM.
487
00:19:42,528 --> 00:19:45,314
[ Bender Chuckling ]
488
00:19:45,444 --> 00:19:48,186
[ Laughing Maniacally ]
489
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:52,756
WHAT? WHAT IS FUNNY?
490
00:19:52,886 --> 00:19:55,280
BENDER'S GOT
THE UPPER HAND NOW.
491
00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:57,413
THE NAME OF THE GAME
IS MAKE BENDER HAPPY
492
00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,198
OR HE BLOWS UP
THE PLANET!
493
00:19:59,327 --> 00:20:00,199
[ Gasps ]
494
00:20:00,328 --> 00:20:02,375
I'D RATHER DIE
AND TAKE EVERYBODY WITH ME
495
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:03,636
THAN SIT HERE
ONE MORE MINUTE
496
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:06,161
AND LISTEN TO THESE IDIOTS TALK
ABOUT BOUNCING.
497
00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:07,641
PLEASE, STAY CALM.
498
00:20:07,770 --> 00:20:09,511
THERE'S NO NEED TO
BOUNCE OFF THE HANDLE.
499
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,949
THAT'S IT, I'M SAYING IT!
500
00:20:12,079 --> 00:20:12,993
"A" IS FOR A...WAIT!
501
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:14,082
STOP.
502
00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:15,692
WE GIVE IN TO ALL
OF EARTH'S DEMANDS.
503
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:16,692
THE WAR IS OVER.
504
00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:18,346
OUR HOME PLANET
IS YOURS.
505
00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:20,219
[ Cheering ]ALL RIGHT!
506
00:20:20,348 --> 00:20:21,220
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
507
00:20:21,349 --> 00:20:23,134
THIS IS YOUR HOME PLANET?
508
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,919
WE'RETHE EVIL INVADING ALIENS?
509
00:20:25,048 --> 00:20:25,659
CORRECT.
510
00:20:25,788 --> 00:20:27,226
THEN I GUESS YOU LEARNED
511
00:20:27,355 --> 00:20:28,443
A VALUABLE LESSON.
512
00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:30,316
DON'T MESS WITH EARTH.
513
00:20:30,445 --> 00:20:32,099
MAY YOU BOUNCE IN PEACE.
514
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:34,363
GET THE HELL OFF MY PLANET.
515
00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,332
[ Zapping ]
516
00:20:46,461 --> 00:20:48,376
WELL, THAT'S IT.
517
00:20:48,508 --> 00:20:50,291
LET'S REACTIVATE HIM.
518
00:20:50,423 --> 00:20:51,771
WAKE UP!
519
00:20:51,902 --> 00:20:53,773
[ Yawns ]
520
00:20:53,903 --> 00:20:55,776
HEY, CHUMPS AND CHUMPETTES.
521
00:20:55,905 --> 00:20:57,256
DID YOU GET THE BOMB OUT?
522
00:20:57,385 --> 00:21:00,346
CAN I GO BACK TO SAYING
THE WORD I LOVE TO SAY?
523
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:02,434
I'M SORRY, BUT WE
COULDN'T REMOVE IT.
524
00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:04,262
IT'S STUCK IN THERE
WITH GLUE OR SOMETHING.
525
00:21:04,393 --> 00:21:05,567
I DON'T KNOW.
526
00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:07,482
WELL, THIS IS JUST GREAT.
527
00:21:07,614 --> 00:21:10,224
WHAT'S THE POINT OF LIVING
IF I CAN'T SAY ASS?
528
00:21:10,355 --> 00:21:11,356
[ Gasps ]
529
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,271
HEY, I DIDN'T BLOW UP!
530
00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:15,011
ASS! ASS! ASS! ASS! ASS!
531
00:21:15,143 --> 00:21:16,144
ALL RIGHT!
532
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,276
I'M BACK IN THE SADDLE.
533
00:21:17,405 --> 00:21:18,711
WE COULDN'T DISARM THE BOMB
534
00:21:18,842 --> 00:21:20,757
SO WE RESET THE WORD
THAT TRIGGERS IT.
535
00:21:20,887 --> 00:21:23,019
IT'S FROM THE LIST OF WORDS
YOU ALMOST NEVER SAY.
536
00:21:23,151 --> 00:21:24,805
THAT'S USING YOUR ASS.
537
00:21:24,934 --> 00:21:25,935
SO WHAT'S THE WORD?
538
00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:27,502
WE THINK IT'S BETTER
IF YOU DON'T KNOW.
539
00:21:27,634 --> 00:21:29,505
OH, COME ON.
540
00:21:29,635 --> 00:21:30,375
I'M NOT GOING TO SAY IT.
541
00:21:30,506 --> 00:21:31,376
PLEASE?
542
00:21:31,507 --> 00:21:32,813
OOH, IS IT "PLEASE"?
543
00:21:32,942 --> 00:21:33,509
NOPE.
544
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:34,423
HMM.
545
00:21:34,554 --> 00:21:36,032
WORDS I NEVER SAY.
546
00:21:36,163 --> 00:21:38,165
OH. I KNOW. "THANKS."
547
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:40,559
BENDER, STOP TRYING
TO DESTROY THE WORLD.
548
00:21:40,690 --> 00:21:41,734
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
549
00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:42,736
IS IT "SORRY"?
550
00:21:42,865 --> 00:21:43,737
NO.
551
00:21:43,866 --> 00:21:45,652
"FUNDERFUL"?
552
00:21:45,781 --> 00:21:47,174
"NON-ALCOHOLIC"?
553
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,959
STOP IT, MON.
BENDER.
QUIT IT.
ENOUGH ALREADY.
554
00:21:49,089 --> 00:21:50,961
MMM... "COMPASSION"?
"SHRIMP TOAST"?
555
00:21:51,092 --> 00:21:52,397
"ANTIQUING"?
556
00:21:52,528 --> 00:21:55,226
[ Explosion ] [ Bender ] I'M ALL RIGHT.
36959
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