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1
00:00:31,481 --> 00:00:32,965
GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE.
2
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,862
I'VE INVENTED A DEVICE
WHICH ALLOWS YOU
3
00:00:35,930 --> 00:00:38,930
TO OPERATE EQUIPMENT
FROM GREAT DISTANCES.
4
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,896
I CALL IT THE FINGLONGER.
5
00:00:40,965 --> 00:00:42,585
OBSERVE.
6
00:00:42,655 --> 00:00:45,171
AND... HERE WE GO...
7
00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,067
THERE.
8
00:00:48,137 --> 00:00:49,344
[ All Gasping ]
9
00:00:49,412 --> 00:00:50,689
PRETTY LONG, EH?
10
00:00:50,758 --> 00:00:51,930
YEAH, IT'S REALLY LONG
11
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,137
BUT WHAT DID YOU JUST
TURN ON WITH IT?
12
00:00:54,206 --> 00:00:57,206
OH, THAT'S JUST
THE WHAT-IF MACHINE I INVENTED.
13
00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:59,274
YOU POSE IT A "WHAT IF" QUESTION
14
00:00:59,344 --> 00:01:02,965
AND IT GENERATES A VIDEO
SIMULATION OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.
15
00:01:03,033 --> 00:01:05,448
DOES IT REALLY WORK?OF COURSE IT WORKS.
16
00:01:05,516 --> 00:01:07,171
IT'S JUST NOT
VERY LONG.
17
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,965
OOH, OOH, I WANT
TO AXE IT A QUESTION.
18
00:01:10,034 --> 00:01:11,965
AS A ROBOT LIVING
AMONG HUMANS
19
00:01:12,034 --> 00:01:15,000
I'VE NEVER REALLY FELT
ACCEPTED AT PARTIES
20
00:01:15,067 --> 00:01:16,655
OR NUDE BEACHES.
21
00:01:16,724 --> 00:01:20,240
SO, I'VE ALWAYS
SECRETLY WONDERED...
22
00:01:20,310 --> 00:01:23,067
WHAT IF I WAS 500 FEET TALL?
23
00:01:23,137 --> 00:01:25,137
LET'S WATCH, SHALL WE?
24
00:01:37,516 --> 00:01:38,655
[ Loud Belch ]
25
00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:40,516
MY WORK HERE IS DONE.
26
00:01:53,758 --> 00:01:58,826
[ Black Sabbath's
"Iron Man" Playing ]
27
00:02:03,965 --> 00:02:08,550
AW, I'M SO LONELY
SINCE I CAME TO THE FUTURE.
28
00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,033
WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?
29
00:02:10,103 --> 00:02:11,310
[ Angry Quack ]OW!
30
00:02:15,448 --> 00:02:17,310
[ Groans ]
31
00:02:17,378 --> 00:02:19,275
AW!
32
00:02:19,343 --> 00:02:20,343
[ Gasps ]
33
00:02:20,413 --> 00:02:21,896
WHO ARE YOU?
34
00:02:21,965 --> 00:02:25,413
I'M A BIG ROBOT
AND I WANT A BIG CEREAL.
35
00:02:25,481 --> 00:02:28,793
YOU, TOO?
WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?
36
00:02:28,861 --> 00:02:30,826
PUT HER THERE, PAL.
37
00:02:32,206 --> 00:02:33,586
I MEANT YOUR WALLET.
38
00:02:33,655 --> 00:02:35,826
THREE, TWO, ONE, ZERO.♪ MMMBOP BA-DUBA-DOP ♪
39
00:02:35,896 --> 00:02:38,826
♪ BA-DU-BOP, BA-DU-DOP ♪
40
00:02:38,896 --> 00:02:41,688
♪ BA-DU-BOP, BA-DU-DOP ♪
41
00:02:41,758 --> 00:02:43,206
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
42
00:02:43,275 --> 00:02:45,481
♪ MMMBOP BA-DUBA-DOP ♪
43
00:02:45,550 --> 00:02:48,310
♪ BA-DU-BOP, BA-DU-DOP ♪
44
00:02:48,378 --> 00:02:50,240
♪ BA-DU-BOP, BA-DU-DOP ♪
45
00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:51,378
♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪
46
00:02:51,448 --> 00:02:53,758
♪ MMMBOP BA-DUBA-DOP ♪
47
00:02:53,826 --> 00:02:55,240
♪ BA-DU-BOP, BA-DU-DOP ♪
48
00:02:55,310 --> 00:02:59,655
♪ BA-DU-BOP, BA-DU-DOP ♪
49
00:02:59,723 --> 00:03:01,378
♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪
50
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,793
♪ MMMBOP BA-DUBA-DOP... ♪
51
00:03:26,758 --> 00:03:29,620
AH, YEAH,
THAT CALMS THE SHAKES.
52
00:03:29,688 --> 00:03:30,931
HEY!
53
00:03:32,793 --> 00:03:34,861
[ Giggling ]
54
00:03:34,930 --> 00:03:36,413
OKAY, OKAY, COME ON NOW.
55
00:03:36,481 --> 00:03:39,171
STOP! THE ROBOT'S
NOT YOUR ENEMY.
56
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,930
HE'S JUST A POOR,
MISUNDERSTOOD....
57
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,103
[ Screaming ]
58
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,275
[ Sniffing ]
59
00:03:49,343 --> 00:03:51,378
AW!
60
00:03:58,516 --> 00:04:00,033
WELL, THERE GOES
THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
61
00:04:00,103 --> 00:04:01,310
[ Loud Crashing ]
62
00:04:01,378 --> 00:04:02,758
THERE GOES ANOTHER
NEIGHBORHOOD.
63
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:03,931
WE'RE JERKED.
64
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,240
NOTHING CAN STOP
A MONSTER THAT BIG.
65
00:04:06,310 --> 00:04:08,965
NOTHING EXCEPT AN EVEN
EQUALLY BIG MONSTER.
66
00:04:09,033 --> 00:04:13,137
THIS IS A CHANCE TO TRY OUT
MY EXPERIMENTAL ENLARGING RAY
67
00:04:13,205 --> 00:04:15,137
BUT WE'LL NEED A GUINEA PIG.
68
00:04:17,862 --> 00:04:19,793
[ Sniffing ]
69
00:04:19,862 --> 00:04:21,964
WHAT'S THIS?
70
00:04:22,033 --> 00:04:24,033
TWO MEALS IN ONE WEEK?
71
00:04:24,103 --> 00:04:26,067
[ Noisy Chewing ]
72
00:04:27,379 --> 00:04:28,757
GOT YOU!SUCKER!
73
00:04:28,826 --> 00:04:31,033
FRIENDS, HELP!
A GUINEA PIG TRICKED ME.
74
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,620
[ High-pitched Whirring ]
75
00:04:33,689 --> 00:04:35,930
WHAT?
76
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:41,689
SO, NOW ZOIDBERG IS BIG, HUH?
77
00:04:41,757 --> 00:04:43,896
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.
78
00:04:43,965 --> 00:04:47,379
WHO'S INTIMIDATING
WHO NOW, BIG CITY?
79
00:04:47,447 --> 00:04:50,310
HELLO, MR. CHASE MANHATTAN BANK.
80
00:04:50,379 --> 00:04:53,481
DENY MY CREDIT CARD
APPLICATION, WILL YOU?
81
00:04:53,550 --> 00:04:56,654
[ Roaring ]
82
00:04:56,723 --> 00:04:59,689
AH, THE FAMED
APOLLO THEATER.
83
00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:02,379
BOO ME OFF STAGE
ON OPEN-MIKE NIGHT, HUH?
84
00:05:02,447 --> 00:05:04,240
I'LL SHOW YOU.
85
00:05:04,310 --> 00:05:07,000
[ Roaring ]
86
00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:09,172
HEY, I CALLED
THIS CITY.
87
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,137
QUIT TOUCHING
MY STUFF.
88
00:05:11,206 --> 00:05:12,723
TELL IT TO
THE CLAW.
89
00:05:12,793 --> 00:05:15,723
BITE MY COLOSSAL METAL ASS.
90
00:05:16,862 --> 00:05:18,793
[ People Screaming ]
91
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:21,000
[ Loud Sucking ]
92
00:05:22,516 --> 00:05:24,516
[ Sputtering ]
93
00:05:49,103 --> 00:05:50,481
[ Loud Belch ]
94
00:05:52,447 --> 00:05:54,930
WHO WANTS LOBSTER BISQUE?
95
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,447
HMM?
96
00:05:56,516 --> 00:05:58,240
[ Screaming ]
97
00:05:58,310 --> 00:06:01,550
[ Evil Laughter ]
98
00:06:01,620 --> 00:06:02,964
HEY, BENDER
99
00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:05,103
WANT TO MAKE SHRINKY DINKS?
100
00:06:05,172 --> 00:06:07,310
[ Roaring ]
101
00:06:07,379 --> 00:06:08,826
[ Yelling ]
102
00:06:08,896 --> 00:06:10,550
[ Gasping ]
103
00:06:11,689 --> 00:06:15,689
WHO PUT THIS IN HERE?
104
00:06:21,654 --> 00:06:24,310
NO!
105
00:06:27,826 --> 00:06:29,447
ARE YOU PEOPLE
SATISFIED?
106
00:06:29,516 --> 00:06:32,067
THIS GENTLE
VISITOR IS DYING
107
00:06:32,137 --> 00:06:35,516
AND WE'LL NEVER EVEN
KNOW WHY HE CAME.
108
00:06:35,586 --> 00:06:37,310
I'LL... TELL YOU...
109
00:06:37,379 --> 00:06:39,896
WITH MY FINAL BREATH.
110
00:06:39,965 --> 00:06:42,379
[ Muttering ]
111
00:06:42,447 --> 00:06:46,274
I CAME HERE
WITH A SIMPLE DREAM--
112
00:06:46,343 --> 00:06:50,516
A DREAM OF KILLING ALL HUMANS
113
00:06:50,586 --> 00:06:54,620
AND THIS IS HOW IT MUST END?
114
00:06:54,689 --> 00:07:00,103
WHO'S THE REAL
SEVEN-BILLION-TON
ROBOT MONSTER HERE?
115
00:07:00,172 --> 00:07:03,000
NOT... I.
116
00:07:05,067 --> 00:07:08,620
NOT... I.
117
00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:10,240
[ Gasps ]
118
00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:14,172
GOOD NIGHT, SWEET PRINCE.
119
00:07:16,516 --> 00:07:19,240
[ Announcer ]
INTERESTING STUFF.
120
00:07:19,310 --> 00:07:21,343
STAY TUNED FOR MORE:
121
00:07:28,033 --> 00:07:29,206
[ Farnsworth ]
WELL, LEELA,
122
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:31,413
CARE TO GIVE THE
WHAT-IF MACHINE A WHIRL?
123
00:07:31,481 --> 00:07:32,793
MAYBE LATER.
124
00:07:32,862 --> 00:07:35,172
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO ASK ABOUT.
125
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,172
COME ON, WOMAN,
JUST PICK SOMETHING.
126
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,862
YEAH, BE MORE
IMPULSIVE, LIKE THIS.
127
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,274
GO, MAN, GO.
128
00:07:45,586 --> 00:07:50,206
I CAN BE REALLY IMPULSIVE.
IT JUST TAKES ME AWHILE.
129
00:07:50,274 --> 00:07:52,033
[ Humming Tune ]
130
00:07:52,103 --> 00:07:53,447
ALL RIGHT, PROFESSOR,
LET'S DO IT.
131
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:56,137
MAKE THAT MACHINE
SHOW ME WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
132
00:07:56,206 --> 00:07:58,103
IF I WAS A LITTLE
MORE IMPULSIVE.
133
00:07:58,172 --> 00:07:59,343
JUST A LITTLE.
134
00:08:01,137 --> 00:08:02,033
NOT TOO MUCH.
135
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:07,413
HEY, GUYS, LOOK WHAT
I BOUGHT ON A WILD IMPULSE--
136
00:08:07,482 --> 00:08:09,033
NEW BOOTS.
137
00:08:09,103 --> 00:08:12,620
THEY'RE LIKE MY OLD ONES
BUT WITH A CRAZY GREEN STRIPE.
138
00:08:12,689 --> 00:08:13,964
WHOO!
139
00:08:14,033 --> 00:08:16,447
NEVER KNOW WHAT
I'M GOING TO DO NEXT.
140
00:08:16,516 --> 00:08:18,172
[ Humming Tune ]
141
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,550
[ Sighs ]
142
00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:21,689
LEELA, COULD YOU COME
IN HERE FOR A MOMENT?
143
00:08:21,757 --> 00:08:24,447
I HAVE SOMETHING
IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU.
144
00:08:24,516 --> 00:08:27,137
I CAN'T LIVE FOREVER
AND I NEED AN HEIR--
145
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:29,137
SOMEONE TO SPEND MY VAST RICHES
146
00:08:29,206 --> 00:08:33,172
AND TAKE CARE OF
MY MAN-EATING ANTEATERS
WHEN I'M GONE.
147
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,724
[ Noisy Chewing ]
148
00:08:35,793 --> 00:08:38,481
THE OTHERS SIMPLY AREN'T
LEVELHEADED ENOUGH.
149
00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:40,826
THEY'RE TOO IMPULSIVE--
NOT LIKE YOU.
150
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:45,000
NOT LIKE OLD, PREDICTABLE,
DULL-AS-DISHWATER LEELA.
151
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,172
HELLO? NEW BOOTS.
152
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,793
THAT'S WHY I'VE MADE YOU
MY SOLE HEIR.
153
00:08:49,861 --> 00:08:51,206
THE DAY I DIE
154
00:08:51,274 --> 00:08:53,826
YOU'LL BE A VERY
WEALTHY WOMAN.
155
00:08:53,895 --> 00:08:57,136
OH, MY, YES...
INCREDIBLY WEALTHY.
156
00:08:57,206 --> 00:08:59,102
THE DAY I DIE...
157
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:00,826
BECAUSE YOU'RE
SO UN-IMPULSIVE.
158
00:09:02,344 --> 00:09:03,793
[ Karate Yell ]
159
00:09:03,861 --> 00:09:05,344
OH! HUH?
160
00:09:05,413 --> 00:09:07,758
[ Noisy Chewing ]
161
00:09:07,826 --> 00:09:09,654
OH, YOU'VE KILLED ME!
162
00:09:09,724 --> 00:09:10,965
YOU'VE KILLED ME!
163
00:09:11,033 --> 00:09:13,033
OH, GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?
164
00:09:13,102 --> 00:09:15,688
I JUST TOLD YOU.
YOU'VE KILLED ME!
165
00:09:15,758 --> 00:09:17,172
[ Noisy Chewing ]
166
00:09:19,895 --> 00:09:22,551
OKAY, JUST TRY
TO BE NONCHALANT.
167
00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:25,551
[ Whistling Tune ]
168
00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:27,931
ALL RIGHT, SO
YOU'RE NONCHALANT.
169
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,000
QUIT RUBBING
OUR NOSES IN IT.
170
00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:32,136
SWEET GIANT ANTEATER
OF SANTA ANITA!
171
00:09:32,206 --> 00:09:35,102
THE PROFESSOR'S BEEN EATEN
BY GIANT ANTEATERS!
172
00:09:35,172 --> 00:09:36,379
OH!WHAT?!
173
00:09:36,447 --> 00:09:39,000
IF YOU ASK ME,
IT'S MIGHTY SUSPICIOUS.
174
00:09:39,067 --> 00:09:40,620
I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE...
175
00:09:40,688 --> 00:09:42,240
RIGHT AFTER
I FLUSH SOME THINGS.
176
00:09:42,309 --> 00:09:44,758
POLICE, BAH.
NOSY MEDDLERS.
177
00:09:44,826 --> 00:09:46,413
IT SO HAPPENS I HAVE
178
00:09:46,481 --> 00:09:50,861
MAIL-ORDER DEGREES
IN MURDEROLOGY AND MURDERONOMY.
179
00:09:50,931 --> 00:09:52,965
ZOIDBERG IS AFOOT.
180
00:09:53,033 --> 00:09:55,551
PERHAPS THE PROFESSOR'S
FILES CAN CLEAR THINGS UP.
181
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:58,274
LET'S SEE, CITATION
FOR PUBLIC NUDITY
182
00:09:58,344 --> 00:10:00,586
CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT
PUBLIC NUDITY.
183
00:10:00,654 --> 00:10:03,206
AHA! A NEW WILL NAMING...
184
00:10:03,274 --> 00:10:04,551
[ Gasps ]
185
00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:06,067
YOUAS HIS SOLE HEIR!
186
00:10:06,136 --> 00:10:08,309
THAT DOESN'T PROVE
I KILLED HIM.
187
00:10:08,379 --> 00:10:10,654
IT'S A VIDEO WILL.
IT SHOWS YOU KILLING HIM.
188
00:10:15,758 --> 00:10:17,309
[ Karate Yells ]
189
00:10:17,379 --> 00:10:19,000
[ Hermes Screaming ]
190
00:10:19,067 --> 00:10:21,517
ALL RIGHT, ANTEATER NUMBER ONE,
WHO ARE YOU PROTECTING?
191
00:10:21,586 --> 00:10:23,136
IS IT ANTEATER NUMBER TWO?
192
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:26,172
DON'T STICK YOUR TONGUE
OUT AT ME.
193
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,274
I NEED A NAME. [ Snorting ]
194
00:10:28,344 --> 00:10:30,551
WHAT? HOW DO
YOU SPELL THAT?
195
00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:31,793
[ Chopping Sounds ]
196
00:10:31,861 --> 00:10:33,793
[ Hermes ]
WHAT ARE YOU
HACKING OFF?
197
00:10:33,861 --> 00:10:38,274
IS IT MY TORSO?
IT IS! MY PRECIOUS TORSO!
198
00:10:38,344 --> 00:10:41,688
HERMES, QUIET.
I'M DEDUCING THINGS.
199
00:10:41,758 --> 00:10:43,413
[ Garbage Disposal Running ]
200
00:10:43,481 --> 00:10:44,620
[ Grunting ]
201
00:10:44,688 --> 00:10:46,586
WHAT DO YOU GOT?
DISPOSAL TROUBLE?
202
00:10:46,654 --> 00:10:47,793
NO! EVERYTHING'S JUST--
203
00:10:47,861 --> 00:10:49,551
SURE IS SHOCKING ABOUT
THE PROFESSOR, HUH?
204
00:10:49,620 --> 00:10:52,206
AND NOW HERMES IS
MYSTERIOUSLY MISSING.
205
00:10:52,274 --> 00:10:54,688
ANYHOW, IT DOESN'T
AFFECT ME-- BENDER.
206
00:10:54,758 --> 00:10:55,861
HEY, WHAT'S THIS?
207
00:10:55,931 --> 00:10:57,620
HERMES' DREADLOCKS?
AND HIS ARM?
208
00:10:57,688 --> 00:10:59,136
LEELA, I'M SHOCKED.
209
00:10:59,206 --> 00:11:03,724
FOOD GOES IN THE DISPOSAL.
HAIR AND FLESH GO IN THE TRASH.
210
00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,965
I'M SORRY.
I COULDN'T STOP.
211
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,067
WELL, WAIT.
212
00:11:07,136 --> 00:11:09,000
DON'T YOU CARE THAT
I MURDERED HERMES?
213
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:10,309
NOT EVEN A LITTLE.
214
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:12,067
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH MURDER
215
00:11:12,136 --> 00:11:14,379
JUST AS LONG AS YOU LET
BENDER WET HIS BEAK.
216
00:11:14,447 --> 00:11:15,758
YOU'RE BLACKMAILING ME?
217
00:11:15,826 --> 00:11:17,793
BLACKMAIL IS SUCH
AN UGLY WORD.
218
00:11:17,861 --> 00:11:19,102
I PREFER EXTORTION.
219
00:11:19,172 --> 00:11:21,102
THE "X" MAKES IT
SOUND COOL.
220
00:11:22,274 --> 00:11:24,206
PLEASE, HONEY,
I'M MADE OF METAL.
221
00:11:24,274 --> 00:11:26,688
LIKE YOU'RE REALLY GOING
TO HURT ME WITH A--
222
00:11:26,758 --> 00:11:29,240
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH THAT MICROWAVE?
223
00:11:31,586 --> 00:11:34,447
[ Blubbering ]
224
00:11:36,517 --> 00:11:38,172
[ Bell Dings ]
225
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,206
OKAY, THAT'S IT.
226
00:11:40,274 --> 00:11:42,000
NO MORE KILLING.
227
00:11:42,067 --> 00:11:44,000
NEXT TIME YOU FEEL LIKE KILLING
228
00:11:44,067 --> 00:11:45,724
JUST HAVE A STICK OF GUM.
229
00:11:45,793 --> 00:11:48,344
NOW TO DISPOSE
OF THE BODY.
230
00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:51,413
HONK, HONK.
231
00:11:51,481 --> 00:11:54,758
WOW, SPORTY GO-CART, LEELA.
SO HIP AND SEXY.
232
00:11:54,826 --> 00:11:56,067
NOT LIKE YOU AT ALL.
233
00:11:57,274 --> 00:11:58,620
DO YOU HAVE ANY GUM?
234
00:11:58,688 --> 00:11:59,758
NO.
235
00:11:59,826 --> 00:12:02,102
[ Screaming ]
236
00:12:02,172 --> 00:12:05,172
[ Thunder Crashing ]
237
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,240
[ Clock Chimes ]
238
00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:11,172
[ Noisy Chewing ]
239
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,620
AH!
240
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,102
THE GANG'S ALL HERE.
241
00:12:14,172 --> 00:12:15,379
WHO ARE YOU?
242
00:12:15,447 --> 00:12:16,586
SCRUFFY,
THE JANITOR.
243
00:12:16,654 --> 00:12:18,136
I'VE NEVER SEEN
YOU BEFORE.
244
00:12:18,206 --> 00:12:20,136
I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU
BEFORE, NEITHER.
245
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:21,379
QUIET, PLEASE.
246
00:12:21,447 --> 00:12:23,965
I'VE CALLED YOU ALL HERE
TO THE PARLOR
247
00:12:24,033 --> 00:12:26,517
TO WATCH AS I GRADUALLY
SOLVE THE CRIME.
248
00:12:26,586 --> 00:12:29,861
ONE OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM
IS A BIG MURDERER.
249
00:12:29,931 --> 00:12:32,240
[ All Gasping ]
250
00:12:32,309 --> 00:12:33,965
[ Gasps ]
251
00:12:34,033 --> 00:12:36,861
YOU SEE, THE KILLER
LEFT ONE FATAL CLUE--
252
00:12:36,931 --> 00:12:39,895
THIS BOOT PRINT ON
THE PROFESSOR'S LAB COAT.
253
00:12:39,965 --> 00:12:41,379
UH... COULDN'T BE ME.
254
00:12:41,447 --> 00:12:42,688
I NEVER WEAR BOOTS.
255
00:12:42,758 --> 00:12:44,172
[ Loud Zipping ]
256
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:45,274
SEE?
257
00:12:45,344 --> 00:12:47,586
EWW. WHAT SMELLS
LIKE BOOT FEET?
258
00:12:47,654 --> 00:12:50,136
THIS IS PREPOSTEROUS.
259
00:12:50,206 --> 00:12:51,758
OBVIOUSLY,
THE MURDERER IS--
260
00:12:51,826 --> 00:12:52,861
[ Metallic Scraping ]
261
00:12:52,931 --> 00:12:53,861
[ Splat ]
262
00:12:56,654 --> 00:12:58,447
MY NEXT CLUE CAME AT 4:15
263
00:12:58,517 --> 00:12:59,861
WHEN THE CLOCK STOPPED
264
00:12:59,931 --> 00:13:02,240
AND ANOTHER CAME
TWO HOURS LATER, AT 4:15
265
00:13:02,309 --> 00:13:04,447
WHEN I DISCOVERED
THE MURDERED BODY
266
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,309
OF AMY'S DEAD, DECEASED CORPSE.
267
00:13:09,344 --> 00:13:11,758
SCRUFFY KNOWS
WHO KILLED THEM PEOPLE.
268
00:13:11,826 --> 00:13:14,067
IN SCRUFFY'S OPINION,
IT WERE--
269
00:13:14,136 --> 00:13:15,654
[ Metallic Scraping ]
270
00:13:15,724 --> 00:13:17,240
[ Casual Whistling ]
271
00:13:17,309 --> 00:13:19,620
SO... IT'S JUST AS I
SUSPECTED ALL ALONG.
272
00:13:19,688 --> 00:13:21,688
THE CRIME IS UNSOLVABLE.
273
00:13:21,758 --> 00:13:23,136
[ Yapping ]
274
00:13:25,758 --> 00:13:27,274
[ Yelping ]
275
00:13:31,517 --> 00:13:34,826
A LETTER FROM BENDER,
MY GOOD FRIEND.
276
00:13:34,895 --> 00:13:36,620
"DEAR DR. JERKBERG
277
00:13:36,688 --> 00:13:40,206
"IF YOU'RE READING THIS,
I'M ALREADY DEAD.
278
00:13:40,274 --> 00:13:44,033
"THE PERSON WHO
KILLED ME WAS-- WAS--"
279
00:13:44,102 --> 00:13:46,447
MY GOD.
IT CAN'T BE.
280
00:13:46,517 --> 00:13:47,895
THE MURDERER. IT WAS...
281
00:13:47,965 --> 00:13:49,240
[ Yawns ]
282
00:13:49,309 --> 00:13:50,447
I'M BORED.
283
00:13:50,517 --> 00:13:51,758
YOU'RE BORING,
ZOIDBERG.
284
00:13:51,826 --> 00:13:53,206
I'M GOING TO
GO WATCH TV.
285
00:13:53,274 --> 00:13:55,895
COULD YOU GET THE LIGHTS
ON YOUR WAY OUT?
286
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,861
WHATCHA EATING?LOBSTER.
287
00:14:00,931 --> 00:14:02,309
YOU WANT SOME?SURE.
288
00:14:02,379 --> 00:14:04,309
YOU KNOW, I THINK
I FINALLY FIGURED OUT
289
00:14:04,379 --> 00:14:06,274
WHAT'S BEHIND ALL
THESE MYSTERIOUS DEATHS.
290
00:14:06,344 --> 00:14:07,481
REALLY?
291
00:14:07,551 --> 00:14:10,620
WAS PLANET EXPRESS BUILT
ON AN INDIAN GRAVEYARD?
292
00:14:10,688 --> 00:14:11,931
NO.NO?
293
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,136
NO.[ Gasps ]
THEN... THEN...
294
00:14:15,206 --> 00:14:16,172
IT WAS YOU.
295
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,102
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT CAME OVER ME.
296
00:14:18,172 --> 00:14:19,965
I KILLED ONE PERSON ON IMPULSE.
297
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:22,586
THEN I HAD TO KILL
ANOTHER AND ANOTHER.
298
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:24,620
WELL, THAT COVERS
THE FIRST THREE KILLINGS.
299
00:14:24,688 --> 00:14:27,688
AND NOW, TO MAKE SURE
YOUWON'T TALK...
300
00:14:27,758 --> 00:14:32,654
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO DO
SOMETHING REALLY IMPULSIVE.
301
00:14:34,586 --> 00:14:36,067
[ Contented Sigh ]
302
00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:37,240
SO, FRY...
303
00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:39,931
WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THE IMPULSIVE NEW ME?
304
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,274
I LIKE IT.
305
00:14:41,344 --> 00:14:45,654
GOOD, NOW LET ME
JUST GET THE LIGHTS.
306
00:14:45,724 --> 00:14:48,551
[ Screaming ]
307
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,895
I REALLYLIKE IT.
308
00:14:54,931 --> 00:14:57,826
WHO ELSE HAS A QUESTION
FOR THE WHAT-IF MACHINE?
309
00:14:57,895 --> 00:14:59,172
SCRUFFY? FRY?
310
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,620
I HAVE A QUESTION.
311
00:15:00,688 --> 00:15:02,517
WHAT IF BENDER
WAS REALLY GIANT?
312
00:15:02,586 --> 00:15:04,274
YOU IDIOT,
WE ALREADY SAW THAT.
313
00:15:04,344 --> 00:15:06,826
I KNOW, I LIKED IT.
I WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN.
314
00:15:06,895 --> 00:15:09,551
WE'RE NOT SEEING IT AGAIN.
ASK SOMETHING LESS STUPID.
315
00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:10,965
OH, ALL RIGHT,
HOW ABOUT THIS?
316
00:15:11,033 --> 00:15:13,102
WHAT IF I NEVER FELL
INTO THAT FREEZER DOODLE
317
00:15:13,172 --> 00:15:14,551
AND CAME TO THE FUTURE JIGGY?
318
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:16,240
THAT QUESTION
IS LESS STUPID
319
00:15:16,309 --> 00:15:19,136
THOUGH YOU ASKED IT IN
A PROFOUNDLY STUPID WAY.
320
00:15:19,206 --> 00:15:23,172
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF FRY
NEVER CAME TO THE FUTURE?
321
00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:28,240
[ Noisemakers Blowing ]
322
00:15:33,826 --> 00:15:34,861
HELLO!
323
00:15:34,931 --> 00:15:37,033
PIZZA DELIVERY FOR, UH...
324
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,688
I.C. WIENER?
325
00:15:38,758 --> 00:15:40,000
OH, CRUD.
326
00:15:43,586 --> 00:15:46,274
HERE'S TO ANOTHER
LOUSY MILLENNIUM.
327
00:15:49,895 --> 00:15:51,861
[ Toots ]
328
00:15:54,826 --> 00:15:55,895
OW!
329
00:15:57,102 --> 00:15:59,895
I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU
FLOATING IN THE TOILET.
330
00:16:04,895 --> 00:16:05,895
WHAT IS IT?
331
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,895
IT APPEARS THAT
THE VERY FABRIC
332
00:16:07,965 --> 00:16:09,517
OF SPACE-TIME
HAS RIPPED.
333
00:16:09,586 --> 00:16:11,344
HEY, LOOK,
AN UGLY, SCARED GUY.
334
00:16:11,413 --> 00:16:12,861
BOO!
335
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:14,517
[ Laughing ]
336
00:16:14,586 --> 00:16:17,517
[ Spooky Humming ]
337
00:16:17,586 --> 00:16:18,758
WHO ARE YOU MONSTERS?
338
00:16:18,826 --> 00:16:20,274
IS ONE OF YOU I.C. WIENER?
339
00:16:20,344 --> 00:16:23,206
IF THAT'S HIS PIZZA,
THEN I'M ICY WHATEVER.
340
00:16:30,517 --> 00:16:33,172
YOU BELIEVE ME
ABOUT THE MONSTERS,
RIGHT, MR. PANUCCI?
341
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,861
THERE'S ONLY THREE
REAL MONSTERS, KID--
342
00:16:35,931 --> 00:16:37,931
DRACULA, BLACULA
AND SON OF KONG.
343
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:42,000
NOW, QUIT PICKING YOUR NOSE
AND KNEAD THAT DOUGH.
344
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:43,481
[ Sighs ]
345
00:16:44,654 --> 00:16:47,517
HEY, THE USUAL,
PROFESSOR HAWKING?
346
00:16:47,586 --> 00:16:50,067
[ Over Voice Box ]
NO, TODAY I'D LIKE
SOMETHING GOOD.
347
00:16:50,136 --> 00:16:53,517
[ Laughs ]
HAWKING, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
I'LL MAKE YOU THE USUAL.
348
00:16:53,586 --> 00:16:54,861
HEY, STEPHEN HAWKING.
349
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:57,551
AREN'T YOU THAT PHYSICIST
THAT INVENTED GRAVITY?
350
00:16:57,620 --> 00:16:59,000
SURE, WHY NOT?
351
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:00,517
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
352
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:03,274
HAS ANYONE EVER DISCOVERED
A HOLE IN NOTHING
WITH MONSTERS IN IT?
353
00:17:04,586 --> 00:17:05,758
'CAUSE IF I'M THE FIRST
354
00:17:05,826 --> 00:17:07,862
I WANT THEM TO CALL IT
A FRY HOLE.
355
00:17:07,931 --> 00:17:10,517
THERE IS NOTHING
TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT.
356
00:17:10,586 --> 00:17:13,136
I MUST GO.
THERE IS MUCH TO DO.
357
00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:18,000
HEY, HAWKING,
YOUR PIZZA'S READY.
358
00:17:18,067 --> 00:17:20,240
TOSS IT IN
THE GARBAGE.
359
00:17:24,964 --> 00:17:26,826
[ Hawking ]
THERE HE IS.
SEIZE HIM.
360
00:17:26,895 --> 00:17:27,964
WHO SAID THAT?
361
00:17:28,034 --> 00:17:29,689
UH! HEY! HEY!
OH! OW! NO!
362
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:30,895
THERE.
363
00:17:32,481 --> 00:17:35,000
[ Groaning ]
364
00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:36,136
WHO AREYOU PEOPLE?
365
00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:37,689
I'M AL GORE, AND THESE
366
00:17:37,758 --> 00:17:40,000
ARE MY VICE-PRESIDENTIAL
ACTION RANGERS
367
00:17:40,067 --> 00:17:42,103
A GROUP OF TOP NERDS
WHOSE SOLE DUTY
368
00:17:42,172 --> 00:17:45,413
IS TO PREVENT DISRUPTIONS
IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM.
369
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:48,826
I THOUGHT YOUR SOLE DUTY
WAS TO CAST THE TIE-BREAKING
VOTE IN THE SENATE.
370
00:17:48,895 --> 00:17:51,654
THAT, AND PROTECT
THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM.
371
00:17:51,723 --> 00:17:53,067
READ THE CONSTITUTION.
372
00:17:53,136 --> 00:17:55,895
HMM, SO I GUESS YOU'LL WANT
TO SEE MY FRY HOLE.
373
00:17:55,964 --> 00:17:59,136
VERY MUCH SO, BUT FIRST,
MEET THE ACTION RANGERS.
374
00:17:59,205 --> 00:18:01,344
YOU ALREADY KNOW
STEPHEN HAWKING.
375
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:03,517
ALSO WITH US ARE
NICHELLE NICHOLS
376
00:18:03,586 --> 00:18:05,034
A.K.A. COMMANDER UHURA.
377
00:18:05,103 --> 00:18:08,205
INCOMING TRANSMISSION
FROM MCI ONE-RATE DEPARTMENT.
378
00:18:08,275 --> 00:18:10,205
IT SOUNDS LIKE
A LIMITED-TIME OFFER.
379
00:18:10,275 --> 00:18:11,895
TELL THEM I'M IN THE TUB.
380
00:18:11,964 --> 00:18:14,586
TO MY LEFT,
YOU'LL RECOGNIZE GARY GYGAX
381
00:18:14,654 --> 00:18:16,792
INVENTOR
OF DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS.
382
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:20,136
GREETINGS. IT'S A...
PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
383
00:18:20,205 --> 00:18:22,448
AND OUR SUMMER INTERN,
DEEP BLUE
384
00:18:22,517 --> 00:18:25,517
THE WORLD'S FOREMOST
CHESS-PLAYING COMPUTER.
385
00:18:25,586 --> 00:18:26,964
Bishop to knight four.
386
00:18:27,034 --> 00:18:30,103
NOT ALL MISSIONS CAN
BE SOLVED WITH CHESS, DEEP BLUE.
387
00:18:30,172 --> 00:18:31,862
SOMEDAY YOU'LL UNDERSTAND THAT.
388
00:18:31,931 --> 00:18:33,275
WHERE AM I, ANYWAY?
389
00:18:33,344 --> 00:18:35,448
YOU'RE TRAVELING
IN A SPECIALLY EQUIPPED
390
00:18:35,517 --> 00:18:37,103
TERRESTRIAL TRANSPORT MODULE.
391
00:18:37,172 --> 00:18:38,172
A SCHOOL BUS.
392
00:18:40,275 --> 00:18:41,586
SO WHAT DO YOU NERDS WANT?
393
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:44,448
IT'S ABOUT THAT RIP
IN SPACE-TIME THAT YOU SAW.
394
00:18:44,517 --> 00:18:46,517
I CALL IT A HAWKING HOLE.
395
00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:48,448
NO FAIR--
I SAW IT FIRST.
396
00:18:48,517 --> 00:18:52,103
WHO IS THE JOURNAL OF QUANTUM PHYSICSGOING TO BELIEVE?
397
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:55,378
MR. FRY, THE TIME DISRUPTION
INDICATES THAT SOME EVENT
398
00:18:55,448 --> 00:18:59,448
WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN,
BUT DIDN'T DUE TO
A QUANTUM FLUCTUATION.
399
00:18:59,517 --> 00:19:02,344
THAT'S WHY WE HAD TO BEAT YOU
WITH TENNIS RACKETS.
400
00:19:02,413 --> 00:19:05,689
IF WE DON'T GO BACK THERE
AND MAKE THE EVENT HAPPEN
401
00:19:05,758 --> 00:19:08,103
THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE
WILL BE DESTROYED
402
00:19:08,172 --> 00:19:11,964
AND AS AN ENVIRONMENTALIST,
I'M AGAINST THAT.
403
00:19:12,034 --> 00:19:13,758
[ Brakes Squealing ]
404
00:19:17,792 --> 00:19:19,067
SO THEN MY CHAIR TILTED BACK
405
00:19:19,136 --> 00:19:21,240
AND I ALMOST FELL
INTO THIS FREEZER THINGY.
406
00:19:21,309 --> 00:19:23,378
I CALL IT
A HAWKING CHAMBER.
407
00:19:23,448 --> 00:19:25,344
BUT INSTEAD OF FALLING IN
AND GETTING FROZEN
408
00:19:25,413 --> 00:19:26,723
I MISSED AND WANGED MY HEAD.
409
00:19:26,792 --> 00:19:28,758
WELL, IT'S OBVIOUS
WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED.
410
00:19:28,826 --> 00:19:30,758
THAT WANG TO THE HEAD
SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU.
411
00:19:30,826 --> 00:19:31,895
UH, WHAT?
412
00:19:31,964 --> 00:19:33,172
LET'S FINISH THE JOB.
413
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,964
NO, WAIT!
THERE MUST BE A PEACEFUL--
414
00:19:37,136 --> 00:19:39,000
HOLD HIM DOWN.Check.
415
00:19:41,344 --> 00:19:42,792
OW! OW!
416
00:19:42,862 --> 00:19:44,240
OW! OW!
417
00:19:46,862 --> 00:19:48,481
WHOA.WHA...?
418
00:19:48,550 --> 00:19:52,103
SOMETHING'S WRONG.
MURDER ISN'T WORKING
AND THAT'S ALL WE'RE GOOD AT.
419
00:19:52,172 --> 00:19:55,586
LET'S TRY SOMETHING ELSE.
MAYBE WE SHOULD...
420
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:58,309
PUT THE DICE AWAY
BEFORE I TAKE THEM AWAY.
421
00:19:58,378 --> 00:20:00,275
WAIT, I'M GETTING AN IDEA.
422
00:20:00,344 --> 00:20:02,654
WHAT IF FRY WAS
SUPPOSED TO GET FROZEN?
423
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:03,826
YES.
424
00:20:03,895 --> 00:20:06,586
SHOVE HIM IN THE TUBE.
IT WAS MY IDEA.
425
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,619
HEY, THERE HE IS AGAIN
AND HE BROUGHT NERDS.
426
00:20:11,689 --> 00:20:13,067
TAKE THIS!
427
00:20:14,034 --> 00:20:15,275
GET IN THE TUBE, DUMMY.
428
00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:16,723
WE ONLY HAVE
A FEW SECONDS
429
00:20:16,792 --> 00:20:18,481
BEFORE THE UNIVERSE
IS DESTROYED.
430
00:20:21,034 --> 00:20:22,550
ALL RIGHT,
BUT I NEED A WEAPON
431
00:20:22,619 --> 00:20:24,826
TO FIGHT OFF DRUNKEN ROBOTS
WHEN I WAKE UP.
432
00:20:24,895 --> 00:20:27,240
HERE, TAKE MY
PLUS-ONE MACE.
433
00:20:28,034 --> 00:20:30,826
OKAY, HERE I GO.
434
00:20:31,862 --> 00:20:33,862
[ Maniacal Laughter ]
435
00:20:33,931 --> 00:20:36,240
YOU FOOL!
YOU FOOLISH FOOL!
436
00:20:36,309 --> 00:20:38,654
EH, WHAT'S THE WORST
THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?
437
00:20:38,723 --> 00:20:44,654
[ Screaming ]
438
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:57,344
GREAT.
439
00:20:57,413 --> 00:20:59,826
THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE
WAS DESTROYED.
440
00:20:59,895 --> 00:21:02,240
DESTROYED?
THEN WHERE ARE WE NOW?
441
00:21:02,309 --> 00:21:04,895
I DON'T KNOW,
BUT I CAN DARN
WELL TELL YOU
442
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,103
WHERE WE'RE NOT--
THE UNIVERSE.
443
00:21:07,172 --> 00:21:08,619
OH, ETERNITY WITH NERDS.
444
00:21:08,689 --> 00:21:11,964
IT'S THE PASADENA STAR TREK
CONVENTION ALL OVER AGAIN.
445
00:21:12,034 --> 00:21:16,826
ANYONE WANT TO PLAY
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS FOR
THE NEXT QUADRILLION YEARS?
446
00:21:16,895 --> 00:21:18,034
YES, PLEASE.SURE.
447
00:21:18,103 --> 00:21:19,240
Pawn to rook eight.
448
00:21:19,309 --> 00:21:20,895
I'M A TENTH-LEVEL
VICE PRESIDENT.
449
00:21:22,964 --> 00:21:24,895
THAT STORY WAS PREPOSTEROUS.
450
00:21:24,964 --> 00:21:27,034
STEPHEN HAWKING
IN A PIZZERIA.
451
00:21:27,103 --> 00:21:31,103
THIS THING ISN'T WORTH
THE GOLD IT'S MADE OF.
452
00:21:31,172 --> 00:21:34,964
ANYWAY, "THE THING LONGER"
SEEMS TO BE A ROUSING SUCCESS.
453
00:21:35,034 --> 00:21:36,344
GOOD WORK.
454
00:21:36,413 --> 00:21:37,964
[ Amy ]
RIGHT ON, PROFESSOR.
455
00:21:40,413 --> 00:21:42,792
SO THAT'S WHAT THINGS
WOULD BE LIKE
456
00:21:42,862 --> 00:21:44,964
IF I'D INVENTED
"THE THING LONGER."
457
00:21:45,034 --> 00:21:48,378
OH, A MAN CAN DREAM, THOUGH.
458
00:21:48,448 --> 00:21:51,826
A MAN CAN DREAM.
31219
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