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1
00:00:32,758 --> 00:00:34,033
GOOD NEWS,
EVERYONE.
2
00:00:34,103 --> 00:00:35,378
THE UNIVERSITY
3
00:00:35,448 --> 00:00:38,137
IS BRINGING ME UP
ON DISCIPLINARY CHARGES.
4
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:40,517
WAIT. THAT'S NOT GOOD NEWS
AT ALL.
5
00:00:40,585 --> 00:00:41,862
WHATEVER YOU DID,
PROFESSOR,
6
00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:44,103
I'M SURE THERE'S
A REASONABLE EXPLANATION.
7
00:00:44,171 --> 00:00:45,585
YES, BUT THEY WON'T LISTEN.
8
00:00:45,655 --> 00:00:48,551
EVERYONE'S ALWAYS IN FAVOR
OF SAVING HITLER'S BRAIN,
9
00:00:48,619 --> 00:00:52,171
BUT WHEN YOU PUT IT IN THE BODY
OF A GREAT WHITE SHARK,
10
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,551
OOH, SUDDENLY,
YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR.
11
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,517
[ Engine Whooshing ]
12
00:01:05,412 --> 00:01:07,448
PROFESSOR FARNSWORTH.
13
00:01:07,516 --> 00:01:10,000
DO YOU KNOW WHY
WE'VE CALLED YOU HERE TODAY?
14
00:01:10,067 --> 00:01:12,206
LISTEN TO ME,
YOU POMPOUS FRAUDS.
15
00:01:12,275 --> 00:01:13,551
IF I'M GOING DOWN,
16
00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:15,412
I'M TAKING YOU
ALL WITH ME.
17
00:01:15,481 --> 00:01:16,516
DEAN VERNON,
18
00:01:16,585 --> 00:01:17,793
I KNOW THE TRUTH.
19
00:01:17,861 --> 00:01:20,585
IT WAS YOUDRIVING
YOUR HOVER CAR THAT NIGHT,
20
00:01:20,655 --> 00:01:21,688
NOT YOUR HORSE.
21
00:01:21,757 --> 00:01:23,620
DEAN EPSILON,
22
00:01:23,688 --> 00:01:28,206
I KNOW ALL ABOUT
YOUR "DEPARTMENT
OF POOL BOY STUDIES."
23
00:01:28,275 --> 00:01:29,481
AND DR. WORNSTRUM...
24
00:01:30,620 --> 00:01:32,240
WORNSTRUM...
25
00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:35,655
ACTUALLY, PROFESSOR, WE MERELY
CALLED YOU HERE TO SAY...
26
00:01:35,723 --> 00:01:36,723
SURPRISE!
27
00:01:36,793 --> 00:01:38,688
OH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
28
00:01:38,758 --> 00:01:40,481
SURPRISE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
29
00:01:40,551 --> 00:01:42,481
AND YOU,COACH SMALLEY,
30
00:01:42,551 --> 00:01:45,655
OR SHOULD I SAY,
"COACH HAIRPIECE?"
31
00:01:45,723 --> 00:01:48,137
NO, PROFESSOR.
IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY
32
00:01:48,206 --> 00:01:50,137
FOR YOUR 150th BIRTHDAY.
33
00:01:50,206 --> 00:01:51,516
[ Stammering ]
34
00:01:51,585 --> 00:01:52,826
OH!
35
00:01:55,896 --> 00:01:57,067
GOOD EVENING. I'M--
36
00:01:57,137 --> 00:01:58,206
[ Loud Feedback ]
37
00:01:58,275 --> 00:01:59,688
WHOA, SORRY.
38
00:01:59,758 --> 00:02:01,965
I'M BENDER,
AND I'LL BE EMCEEING THIS ROAST.
39
00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:04,551
YOU KNOW, THEY SAY
YOU CAN JUDGE A MAN
40
00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:05,757
BY THE COMPANY HE KEEPS.
41
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:08,033
SO HERE'S THE PROFESSOR'S
OLDEST FRIEND--
42
00:02:08,103 --> 00:02:10,137
A GROTESQUE, STINKING LOBSTER.
43
00:02:10,205 --> 00:02:13,413
[ Applause ]
44
00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:15,240
GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GERMS.
45
00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:16,550
[ Rim Shot ]
46
00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:17,931
THAT WASN'T A JOKE.
47
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,240
I WAS TALKING
48
00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:21,550
TO DEAN STREPTOCOCCUS.
49
00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:24,378
NOW, I'M NOT SAYING
PROFESSOR FARNSWORTH IS OLD...
50
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:28,758
BUT IF YOU CONSIDER HIS AGE,
HE'S LIKELY TO DIE SOON.
51
00:02:30,378 --> 00:02:32,310
HEY, RINGO, THATWAS THE JOKE.
52
00:02:32,378 --> 00:02:33,655
[ Moans ]
53
00:02:33,723 --> 00:02:37,481
IT'S SHOWTIME AT THE APOLLO
ALL OVER AGAIN.
54
00:02:37,550 --> 00:02:40,378
WHERE WOULD A PROFESSOR BE
WITHOUT STUDENTS
55
00:02:40,448 --> 00:02:42,103
WHO LOVE AND RESPECT HIM?
56
00:02:42,171 --> 00:02:43,378
RIGHT THERE!
57
00:02:43,448 --> 00:02:44,413
[ Chortles ]
58
00:02:44,481 --> 00:02:45,930
BUT, SERIOUSLY,
59
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,413
OF ALL THE FORMER CREW MEMBERS
OF THE PROFESSOR'S DELIVERY SHIP
60
00:02:49,481 --> 00:02:51,965
OUR NEXT SPEAKER IS
BY FAR THE MOST ALIVE.
61
00:02:52,033 --> 00:02:53,723
CAPTAIN MUSKY?
62
00:02:53,793 --> 00:02:56,343
[ SolemnStar Trek Music ]
63
00:02:59,965 --> 00:03:01,343
[ Beep ]
64
00:03:01,413 --> 00:03:02,516
[ Rim Shot ]
65
00:03:02,586 --> 00:03:05,758
[ Laughter And Cheering ]
66
00:03:05,826 --> 00:03:08,343
I WOULDN'T WANT
TO FOLLOW THAT GUY.
67
00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:14,620
AND NOW A MAN WHO NEEDS
NO INTRODUCTION.
68
00:03:20,103 --> 00:03:22,688
FRY! GET UP THERE!
69
00:03:22,758 --> 00:03:23,931
[ Applause ]
70
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,137
[ Clears Throat ]
71
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,137
THANK YOU.
72
00:03:26,205 --> 00:03:27,655
YOU KNOW,
WHEN I WAS FIRST ASKED
73
00:03:27,723 --> 00:03:29,171
TO MAKE A FILM
ABOUT MY NEPHEW--
74
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,275
PROFESSOR FARNSWORTH--
75
00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:31,516
I THOUGHT, "WHY SHOULD I?"
76
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:32,965
THEN LATER,
LEELA MADE THE FILM,
77
00:03:33,033 --> 00:03:34,240
BUT IF I HADMADE THE FILM
78
00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:35,826
YOU CAN BET
THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN
79
00:03:35,896 --> 00:03:37,448
MORE TOPLESS WOMEN
ON MOTORCYCLES.
80
00:03:37,516 --> 00:03:39,033
ROLL FILM.
81
00:03:39,103 --> 00:03:41,240
[ Mysterious Gong Sounds ]
82
00:03:44,343 --> 00:03:45,481
[ Beep ]
83
00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:47,688
[ Leela ]
HUBERT J. FARNSWORTH
84
00:03:47,758 --> 00:03:49,343
WAS BORN APRIL 9, 2851,
85
00:03:49,413 --> 00:03:51,965
IN NEW NEW YORK'S
NERDIEST SLUM--
86
00:03:52,033 --> 00:03:53,965
HELL'S LABORATORY.
87
00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:56,171
A PRECOCIOUS CHILD,
88
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,343
YOUNG HUBERT LEARNED TO READ WHILE HE WAS STILL IN DIAPERS...
89
00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:02,448
AT AGE EIGHT, AND BEFORE LONG, HE BLOSSOMED
90
00:04:02,516 --> 00:04:04,378
INTO A GREASY TEENAGER.
91
00:04:04,448 --> 00:04:05,481
DORK ALERT!
92
00:04:05,550 --> 00:04:07,620
AFTER 14 YEARS
OF GRADUATE SCHOOL,
93
00:04:07,688 --> 00:04:11,275
FARNSWORTH SETTLED INTO THE GLAMOROUS LIFE OF A SCIENTIST.
94
00:04:11,343 --> 00:04:12,481
FAST CARS...
95
00:04:12,550 --> 00:04:13,620
TRENDY NIGHTSPOTS...
96
00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:14,758
BEAUTIFUL WOMEN--
97
00:04:14,826 --> 00:04:16,654
THE PROFESSOR DESIGNED THEM ALL
98
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:19,516
WORKING OUT OF HIS TINY ONE-ROOM APARTMENT.
99
00:04:19,586 --> 00:04:23,067
FOR 50 YEARS, HE WORKED AT MOM'S FRIENDLY ROBOT COMPANY
100
00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:24,826
WHERE HE CREATED
THE FIRST ROBOT
101
00:04:24,896 --> 00:04:27,516
CAPABLE OF QUALIFYING
FOR A BOAT LOAN.
102
00:04:27,586 --> 00:04:31,000
AND NOW, EVEN AS HE NEARS HIS 150th BIRTHDAY,
103
00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:35,000
THE PROFESSOR RETAINS THE FIERY PASSION OF YOUTH.
104
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:37,240
Listen to me,
you pompous frauds!
105
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:40,793
If I'm going down,
I'm taking you all with me.
106
00:04:43,379 --> 00:04:46,067
[ Gong Sounds ]
107
00:04:46,137 --> 00:04:47,310
[ Applause ]
108
00:04:47,379 --> 00:04:49,310
HOW ABOUT A FEW WORDS,
PROFESSOR?
109
00:04:49,379 --> 00:04:51,137
[ Stammering ]
110
00:04:51,206 --> 00:04:53,413
I SAID "WORDS."
111
00:04:53,481 --> 00:04:56,274
[ Applause ]
112
00:04:56,343 --> 00:04:58,206
UH, WHAT A PLEASURE IT IS
113
00:04:58,274 --> 00:05:01,067
TO SEE MY LIFETIME
OF ACCOMPLISHMENT
114
00:05:01,137 --> 00:05:03,654
SUMMED UP
IN A THREE-MINUTE FILM.
115
00:05:03,723 --> 00:05:07,033
MY BEST YEARS ARE BEHIND ME--
116
00:05:07,103 --> 00:05:12,137
SO MUCH LEFT UNDONE,
SO LITTLE TIME.
117
00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:19,413
FUNNY, FUNNY STUFF.
118
00:05:21,793 --> 00:05:23,447
MY LIFE IS OVER.
119
00:05:23,516 --> 00:05:24,964
NO, IT ISN'T.
120
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,000
YOU HAVE ANOTHER
TEN YEARS LEFT.
121
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:31,274
LEELA, HE COULD LIVE
ANOTHER HUNDREDYEARS.
122
00:05:31,343 --> 00:05:32,654
NO, HE COULDN'T.
123
00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:34,000
WHEN YOU TURN 160,
124
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,757
ROBOTS FROM THE
SUNSET SQUAD
125
00:05:35,826 --> 00:05:37,757
TAKE YOU TO A
MYSTERIOUS PLANET,
126
00:05:37,826 --> 00:05:39,379
AND YOU NEVER RETURN.
127
00:05:39,447 --> 00:05:41,343
WOW. A WHOLE PLANET
OF OLD PEOPLE.
128
00:05:41,413 --> 00:05:42,689
WHERE IS IT?
129
00:05:42,757 --> 00:05:44,620
[ Mysteriously ]
NOBODY KNOWS.
130
00:05:44,689 --> 00:05:46,550
SO MANY LOVES HALF-LOVED,
131
00:05:46,620 --> 00:05:49,067
SO MANY INVENTIONS
HALF-INVENTED.
132
00:05:49,137 --> 00:05:52,896
THAT DAMN TIME MACHINE ALONE
SET ME BACK 15 YEARS.
133
00:05:52,965 --> 00:05:54,379
[ Electrical Buzzing ]
134
00:05:54,447 --> 00:05:55,826
IF ONLY IT HAD WORKED,
135
00:05:55,896 --> 00:05:58,310
YOU COULD GO BACK
AND NOT WASTE YOUR TIME ON IT.
136
00:05:58,379 --> 00:06:00,930
THERE'S NO ONE TO CARRY ON
AFTER I'M GONE,
137
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,793
NO ONE TO TAKE OVER MY WORK
AND MY RESEARCH
138
00:06:03,862 --> 00:06:05,343
AND MY FABULOUS FORTUNE.
139
00:06:05,413 --> 00:06:06,482
[ Gasps ]
140
00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:08,137
BY GOD, THAT'S IT!
141
00:06:08,206 --> 00:06:09,964
I'VE GOT TO NAME A SUCCESSOR.
142
00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:11,586
A SUCCESSOR?
OH!
143
00:06:11,654 --> 00:06:13,550
A SUCCESSOR
TO THE PROFESSOR?
144
00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:15,000
THERE'S NO TIME TO LOSE.
145
00:06:15,067 --> 00:06:19,550
I'M OFF TO MY LAB TO BUILD
A SUCCESSOR-NAMING MACHINE.
146
00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:24,137
MAN, THE PROFESSOR'S
BEEN IN HIS LAB FOR DAYS.
147
00:06:24,206 --> 00:06:26,516
I HOPE HE DIDN'T DIE,
UNLESS HE LEFT A NOTE
148
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,826
NAMING ME HIS SUCCESSOR--
THEN I HOPE HE DID DIE.
149
00:06:28,896 --> 00:06:30,067
YOU, THE SUCCESSOR?
150
00:06:30,137 --> 00:06:31,413
OVER MY EMPTY SHELL.
151
00:06:31,481 --> 00:06:33,103
THE PROFESSOR WILL PICK ME.
152
00:06:33,172 --> 00:06:35,620
ONLY I HAVE
HIS LOBSTER-LIKE TENACITY.
153
00:06:35,689 --> 00:06:36,723
[ Clicking ]
154
00:06:36,793 --> 00:06:38,137
UP YOURS, ZOIDBERG--
155
00:06:38,206 --> 00:06:41,379
UP WHEREVER YOUR SPECIES
TRADITIONALLY CRAMS THINGS.
156
00:06:41,447 --> 00:06:44,137
THE ONLY SENSIBLE WAY
TO PICK A SUCCESSOR
157
00:06:44,206 --> 00:06:45,689
IS WITH A LIMBO CONTEST.
158
00:06:45,757 --> 00:06:47,481
WHAT?KINGSTON RULES.
159
00:06:47,550 --> 00:06:49,965
TWO MEN GO DOWN, ONE COME UP.
160
00:06:51,965 --> 00:06:54,586
LOOK, THE PROFESSOR TRUSTS ME
WITH A GIANT SPACESHIP.
161
00:06:54,654 --> 00:06:55,930
HE WOULDN'T TRUST
162
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,103
THE REST OF YOU
WITH HIS DENTURES.
163
00:06:58,172 --> 00:06:59,447
[ Muffled ]
YES, HE WOULD.
164
00:06:59,516 --> 00:07:01,274
SORRY, EVERYONE,
BUT NEED I REMIND YOU?
165
00:07:01,343 --> 00:07:03,620
BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER.
166
00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:06,654
"BLOOD... THICKER... WATER."
167
00:07:09,067 --> 00:07:11,793
EVERYONE, I HAVE
A VERY DRAMATIC ANNOUNCEMENT.
168
00:07:11,862 --> 00:07:14,413
SO ANYONE WITH A WEAK HEART
SHOULD LEAVE NOW.
169
00:07:14,481 --> 00:07:17,172
GOOD-BYE.
170
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:18,654
UH, PROFESSOR?
171
00:07:18,723 --> 00:07:20,862
OH, OH, YES, THE ANNOUNCEMENT.
172
00:07:20,930 --> 00:07:24,103
AS YOU ALL KNOW,
I AM NOT LONG FOR THIS WORLD.
173
00:07:24,172 --> 00:07:25,826
YES, WE DO.TRUE DAT.
174
00:07:25,896 --> 00:07:27,447
DUH!ONE FOOT
IN THE GRAVE.
175
00:07:27,516 --> 00:07:29,206
SO I'VE PICKED MY SUCCESSOR.
176
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:31,550
IT'S SOMEONE IN WHOM
I HAVE GREAT FAITH
177
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:33,654
EVEN THOUGH HIS MIND
IS UNDEVELOPED
178
00:07:33,723 --> 00:07:35,550
AND HE'S ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING.
179
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,206
[ Cracking Knuckles
And Snickering ]
180
00:07:37,274 --> 00:07:39,310
MY CLOSEST LIVING RELATIVE...
181
00:07:39,379 --> 00:07:40,172
OH, YEAH.
182
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:44,067
MY CLONE-- QBERT FARNSWORTH.
183
00:07:44,137 --> 00:07:46,826
[ Electricity Crackling ]
184
00:07:49,689 --> 00:07:51,930
[ Whirring ]
185
00:07:55,481 --> 00:07:57,240
HE'S HORRIBLE!
186
00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,723
CRUD. CAN I AT LEAST BE
IN CHARGE OF YOUR DENTURES?
187
00:08:00,793 --> 00:08:02,000
[ Muffled ]
YOU WISH.
188
00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:07,550
WHERE DID QBERT
COME FROM?
189
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:10,379
12 YEARS AGO, I BEGAN
THE CLONING PROCESS
190
00:08:10,447 --> 00:08:12,413
BY REMOVING
SOME SKIN CELLS
191
00:08:12,481 --> 00:08:15,240
FROM ONE OF THE
SHAPELIER GROWTHS
ON MY BACK.
192
00:08:15,310 --> 00:08:16,723
WAIT. IF HE'S YOUR CLONE
193
00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,896
WHY DOESN'T HIS NOSE
LOOK LIKE YOURS?
194
00:08:18,964 --> 00:08:20,964
I LEFT HIM IN HIS
FIRST TUBE TOO LONG,
195
00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:23,240
AND HE GOT SQUISHED
UP AGAINST THE SIDE.
196
00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:25,000
IS HE DUMB OR JUST UGLY?
197
00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:26,172
LET'S FIND OUT.
198
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:27,343
[ Beep ]
199
00:08:27,413 --> 00:08:29,343
[ Metal Clanking ]
200
00:08:29,413 --> 00:08:33,895
[ Sputtering And Coughing ]
201
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,793
WHAT, YOU'VE NEVER SEEN
A GENIUS'S WIENER BEFORE?
202
00:08:37,861 --> 00:08:39,033
[ Negative Remarks ]
203
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,447
[ Fry ]
WELL, ONCE
IN THE PARK.
204
00:08:42,586 --> 00:08:45,447
[ Coins Clinking ]
205
00:08:47,172 --> 00:08:49,172
MMM...
206
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,826
AS LONG AS I'M GOING
TO BE IN CHARGE HERE,
207
00:08:51,895 --> 00:08:54,102
LET ME EXAMINE
MY SO-CALLED CREW
208
00:08:54,172 --> 00:08:55,826
IF IT CANSO BE CALLED.
209
00:08:55,895 --> 00:08:58,067
FIRST OF ALL,
DR. ZOIDBERG,
210
00:08:58,136 --> 00:09:01,102
DO YOU EVEN HAVE
A MEDICAL DEGREE?
211
00:09:01,172 --> 00:09:02,481
I LOST IT...
212
00:09:02,551 --> 00:09:04,067
IN A VOLCANO.
213
00:09:04,136 --> 00:09:06,379
AND WHY DO WE NEED
A BENDING ROBOT
214
00:09:06,447 --> 00:09:07,724
AROUND HERE ANYWAY?
215
00:09:07,793 --> 00:09:10,033
WHAT POSSIBLE USE
DO WE HAVE FOR YOU?
216
00:09:10,102 --> 00:09:12,206
UH, ME NO SPEAKA DA ENGLISH.
217
00:09:12,274 --> 00:09:15,620
AND WHY DOES OUR SPACE PILOT
HAVE ONLY ONE EYE?
218
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:17,688
THERE'S SOMEONE
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET.
219
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,481
HIS NAME IS DEPTH PERCEPTION.
220
00:09:19,551 --> 00:09:20,758
[ Snorting Laughter ]
221
00:09:20,826 --> 00:09:22,379
WHY, YOU LITTLE...
222
00:09:22,447 --> 00:09:23,413
[ Whoosh ]
223
00:09:23,481 --> 00:09:24,551
WOW! THAT HURT...
224
00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:26,274
THE AIR.
225
00:09:26,344 --> 00:09:28,895
HIM PENDING
PARA UN BENDING.
226
00:09:28,965 --> 00:09:30,447
OH, QBERT, COME IN HERE.
227
00:09:30,517 --> 00:09:32,654
I HAVE SOMETHING AMAZING
TO SHOW YOU.
228
00:09:32,724 --> 00:09:35,000
WHAT IS IT,
A COMPETENT EMPLOYEE?
229
00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:36,654
I DOUBT THAT VERY MUCH.
230
00:09:36,724 --> 00:09:38,067
[ Chuckling ]
231
00:09:38,136 --> 00:09:39,413
LITTLE TWERP.
232
00:09:39,481 --> 00:09:41,447
AY, CHIHUAHUA!
233
00:09:43,551 --> 00:09:44,793
QBERT, AS MY SUCCESSOR
234
00:09:44,861 --> 00:09:47,033
I'M TRUSTING YOU
TO CARRY ON MY WORK.
235
00:09:47,102 --> 00:09:50,000
THESE ARE JUST SOME
OF THE HALF-FINISHED INVENTIONS
236
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,033
YOU'LL SPEND YOUR LIFE
FINISHING.
237
00:09:52,102 --> 00:09:54,240
I DIDN'T REALIZE
YOU WERE THE INVENTOR
238
00:09:54,309 --> 00:09:55,551
OF THE JUNK HEAP.
239
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,965
THAT'S MY
PRIZEWINNING
SMELL-A-SCOPE.
240
00:09:58,033 --> 00:10:00,620
IF A DOG CRAPS
ANYWHERE IN
THE UNIVERSE
241
00:10:00,688 --> 00:10:03,309
YOU CAN BET I WON'T
BE OUT OF THE LOOP.
242
00:10:03,379 --> 00:10:05,965
AND THIS IS MY
UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR.
243
00:10:06,033 --> 00:10:08,965
UNFORTUNATELY, SO FAR,
IT ONLY TRANSLATES
244
00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:11,895
INTO AN INCOMPREHENSIBLE
DEAD LANGUAGE.
245
00:10:11,965 --> 00:10:13,240
HELLO.
246
00:10:13,309 --> 00:10:14,240
Bonjour.
247
00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:15,413
CRAZY GIBBERISH.
248
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:17,240
DON'T YOU HAVE
ANY WORTHWHILE INVENTIONS?
249
00:10:17,309 --> 00:10:18,413
WHY, CERTAINLY.
250
00:10:18,481 --> 00:10:20,413
STEP OVER HERE.
251
00:10:20,481 --> 00:10:23,724
THESE ARE THE DARK-MATTER ENGINES I INVENTED.
252
00:10:23,793 --> 00:10:25,274
THEY ALLOW
MY STARSHIP
253
00:10:25,344 --> 00:10:27,067
TO TRAVEL
BETWEEN GALAXIES
254
00:10:27,136 --> 00:10:28,240
IN MERE HOURS.
255
00:10:28,309 --> 00:10:29,551
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
256
00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:30,895
YOU CAN'T GO FASTER
257
00:10:30,965 --> 00:10:32,517
THAN THE
SPEED OF LIGHT.
258
00:10:32,586 --> 00:10:34,033
OF COURSE NOT.
259
00:10:34,102 --> 00:10:38,206
THAT'S WHY SCIENTISTS INCREASED
THE SPEED OF LIGHT IN 2208.
260
00:10:38,274 --> 00:10:39,379
ALSO IMPOSSIBLE.
261
00:10:39,447 --> 00:10:42,033
AND WHAT MAKES MY ENGINES
TRULY REMARKABLE
262
00:10:42,102 --> 00:10:43,206
IS THE AFTERBURNER
263
00:10:43,274 --> 00:10:45,551
WHICH DELIVERS
200% FUEL EFFICIENCY.
264
00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:47,724
OH, THAT'S
ESPECIALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
265
00:10:47,793 --> 00:10:50,447
NOT AT ALL.
IT'S VERY SIMPLE.
266
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:51,861
THEN EXPLAIN IT.
267
00:10:51,931 --> 00:10:53,379
NOW, THAT'SIMPOSSIBLE.
268
00:10:53,447 --> 00:10:55,033
IT CAME TO ME IN A DREAM,
269
00:10:55,102 --> 00:10:57,379
AND I FORGOT IT
IN ANOTHER DREAM.
270
00:10:57,447 --> 00:11:01,654
YOUR EXPLANATIONS ARE PURE
WEAPONS-GRADE BOLOGNA-IUM.
271
00:11:01,724 --> 00:11:03,379
IT'S ALL IMPOSSIBLE.
272
00:11:03,447 --> 00:11:06,379
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
NOT IF YOU CAN IMAGINE IT.
273
00:11:06,447 --> 00:11:09,274
THAT'S WHAT BEING A SCIENTIST
IS ALL ABOUT.
274
00:11:09,344 --> 00:11:12,861
NO, THAT'S WHAT BEING
A MAGICAL ELF IS ALL ABOUT.
275
00:11:16,413 --> 00:11:17,965
OH, MY GOD!
276
00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:19,206
OH, MY GOD!
277
00:11:19,274 --> 00:11:20,895
IT'S ELZAR, THE TV CHEF!
278
00:11:20,965 --> 00:11:22,413
OH, KILL ME NOW, PEOPLE.
279
00:11:22,481 --> 00:11:23,586
HOW WE DOIN' HERE?
280
00:11:23,654 --> 00:11:25,586
OH, ELZAR.
281
00:11:25,654 --> 00:11:27,067
EVERYTHING'S SO GOOD.
282
00:11:27,136 --> 00:11:29,067
WHAT ARE YOU,
AN ASS-KISSING MACHINE?
283
00:11:29,136 --> 00:11:30,931
YES, SIR-- GOOD ONE, SIR.
284
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,413
OH, IT'S A GEM
OF AN EVENING.
285
00:11:33,481 --> 00:11:34,861
I FEEL SO WONDERFUL
286
00:11:34,931 --> 00:11:37,724
HAVING SOMEONE
TO TAKE OVER MY LIFE'S WORK,
287
00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:40,413
AND IT'S ALL
THANKS TO QBERT.
288
00:11:40,481 --> 00:11:41,688
LOOK, PROFESSOR,
289
00:11:41,758 --> 00:11:44,309
I MAY BE IDENTICAL TO YOU
IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY,
290
00:11:44,379 --> 00:11:46,758
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
I'M ANYTHING LIKE YOU.
291
00:11:46,826 --> 00:11:47,724
YEAH, WELL... WHUH?
292
00:11:47,793 --> 00:11:49,758
I DON'T WANT TO BE
AN INVENTOR.
293
00:11:49,826 --> 00:11:51,586
I WANT TO BE
SOMETHING USEFUL
294
00:11:51,654 --> 00:11:54,102
LIKE A TEACHER'S AIDE
OR A PRISON GUARD
295
00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:56,481
OR A SCIENCE FICTION
CARTOON WRITER.
296
00:11:56,551 --> 00:11:59,724
BUT-BUT WHAT ABOUT MY
HOPES AND MY DREAMS
297
00:11:59,793 --> 00:12:02,033
AND MY WONDERFUL
INVENTIONS?
298
00:12:02,102 --> 00:12:03,551
IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE,
299
00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:05,551
YOUR ONLY HALF-DECENT
INVENTION WAS ME,
300
00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:08,067
AND I DIDN'T TURN OUT
LIKE YOU WANTED EITHER.
301
00:12:13,206 --> 00:12:14,724
YOU FOLKS
STILL DOING ALL RIGHT?
302
00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:16,240
OH, YES, ELZAR.
303
00:12:16,309 --> 00:12:18,654
GOOD. 'CAUSE IT TURNS OUT
I FORGOT TO COOK THAT CHICKEN.
304
00:12:18,724 --> 00:12:20,654
[ Thunderclap ]
305
00:12:24,172 --> 00:12:25,654
BAD NEWS, EVERYONE.
306
00:12:25,724 --> 00:12:28,758
By the time you watch this tape,
I'll be gone,
307
00:12:28,826 --> 00:12:32,000
leaving behind nothing
but a history of failure
308
00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:33,861
and my original hip bones.
309
00:12:33,931 --> 00:12:36,517
You see,
I've been lying about my age.
310
00:12:36,586 --> 00:12:38,481
I'm not actually 150.
311
00:12:38,551 --> 00:12:40,861
I'm 160.
312
00:12:40,931 --> 00:12:44,240
Oh, vanity, thy name
is Professor Farnsworth.
313
00:12:44,309 --> 00:12:47,344
And now that I have nothing
to live for,
314
00:12:47,413 --> 00:12:51,551
I've alerted the Sunset Squad
robots to take me away.
315
00:12:58,758 --> 00:13:00,758
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
316
00:13:18,793 --> 00:13:21,309
GOOD-BYE, CRUEL WORLD.
317
00:13:22,965 --> 00:13:25,551
GOOD-BYE, CRUEL LAMP.
318
00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:29,136
GOOD-BYE,
CRUEL VELVET DRAPES
319
00:13:29,206 --> 00:13:31,724
LINED WITH WHAT
WOULD APPEAR TO BE
320
00:13:31,793 --> 00:13:33,758
SOME SORT
OF CRUEL MUSLIN AND THE...
321
00:13:33,826 --> 00:13:35,206
[ Annoyed Groan ]
322
00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:37,481
CUTE LITTLE
POM-POM CURTAIN PULL-CORDS.
323
00:13:37,551 --> 00:13:38,931
CRUEL THOUGH
THEY MAY BE, I--
324
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,309
[ Groaning ]
325
00:13:42,965 --> 00:13:44,965
[ Farnsworth ]
And now that I have nothing
to live for,
326
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:49,413
I've alerted the Sunset Squad
robots to take me away.
327
00:13:49,481 --> 00:13:50,724
[ All Gasping ]
328
00:13:50,793 --> 00:13:51,654
OH, NO!
329
00:13:51,724 --> 00:13:53,447
I know you're all very upset
330
00:13:53,517 --> 00:13:54,551
especially Bender.
331
00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:56,724
WELL, LIFE GOES ON...
332
00:13:56,793 --> 00:13:57,931
EXCEPT FOR YOU.
333
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,413
[ Mocking Laughter ]
334
00:13:59,481 --> 00:14:02,344
I'm sure Bender
has just made a cutting remark
335
00:14:02,413 --> 00:14:05,586
but he doesn't know
I taped over his soap operas
336
00:14:05,654 --> 00:14:06,895
to record
this message.
337
00:14:06,965 --> 00:14:08,102
YOU BASTARD!
338
00:14:08,172 --> 00:14:09,793
WE'VE GOT TO GET HIM BACK.
339
00:14:09,861 --> 00:14:11,033
IMPOSSIBLE.
340
00:14:11,102 --> 00:14:13,274
NO ONE KNOWS WHERE
THEY TAKE THOSE OLD GEEZERS.
341
00:14:13,344 --> 00:14:14,654
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
342
00:14:14,724 --> 00:14:16,620
YOU'D KNOW THAT
IF YOU REALLY TOOK AFTER
343
00:14:16,688 --> 00:14:17,931
THE PROFESSOR, LIKE I DO.
344
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,517
YOU'RE HIS UNCLE, DUMMY.
345
00:14:19,586 --> 00:14:20,758
HETAKES AFTER YOU.
346
00:14:20,826 --> 00:14:21,965
YEAH, WH-WHAT?
347
00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:23,136
OH, WAIT A SECOND.
348
00:14:23,206 --> 00:14:24,620
THAT MEANS
I ALSO TAKE AFTER YOU.
349
00:14:24,688 --> 00:14:26,000
[ Screams ]
350
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:28,517
QUIET. I THINK I KNOW
HOW TO FIND THE PROFESSOR.
351
00:14:28,586 --> 00:14:30,033
LAY IT ON US, BIG BOOTS.
352
00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:31,688
[ Sniffing ]
353
00:14:31,758 --> 00:14:34,344
IF THE SMELL-A-SCOPE
CAN PICK UP THE PROFESSOR'S ODOR
354
00:14:34,413 --> 00:14:35,688
WE MAY HAVE A CHANCE
TO SAVE HIM.
355
00:14:35,758 --> 00:14:36,688
[ Snorting ]
356
00:14:36,758 --> 00:14:38,172
I THINK NOT.
357
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,033
AS YOU PROBABLY
ALREADY DON'TKNOW,
358
00:14:40,102 --> 00:14:42,826
ODORS ARE MADE UP OF PARTICLES
THAT CAN'TTRAVEL
359
00:14:42,895 --> 00:14:44,517
THROUGH THE VACUUM OF SPACE.
360
00:14:44,586 --> 00:14:45,861
[ Screaming ]
361
00:14:45,931 --> 00:14:47,000
I'M ZEROING IN ON HIM.
362
00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:48,551
[ Sniffing ]
BEN GAY...
363
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,240
[ Sniffing ]
MOTHBALLS...
364
00:14:50,309 --> 00:14:52,517
[ Sniffing ]
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR!
365
00:14:52,586 --> 00:14:54,102
IT'S THE PROFESSOR!
366
00:14:54,172 --> 00:14:56,206
TO THE FLYING
MACHINE!
367
00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:01,136
[ Sniffing ]
TO THE LEFT!
368
00:15:01,206 --> 00:15:02,654
[ Sniffing ]
NO, TO THE UP!
369
00:15:02,724 --> 00:15:04,067
[ Sniffing ]
U-TURN! U-TURN!
370
00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:05,931
WE'LL NEVER
FIND THIS PLACE.
371
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,517
ROBOTS ARE VERY GOOD
AT KEEPING SECRETS.
372
00:15:08,586 --> 00:15:10,136
NO, WE'RE NOT,
YOU LITTLE BED WETTER!
373
00:15:10,206 --> 00:15:11,586
OOPS, I'M SORRY.
374
00:15:11,654 --> 00:15:13,758
THERE IT IS--
THE NEAR DEATH STAR.
375
00:15:28,033 --> 00:15:30,447
OKAY, WE'LL TELL THEM
THE PROFESSOR ESCAPED,
376
00:15:30,517 --> 00:15:31,861
AND WE'RE
BRINGING HIM BACK.
377
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,654
FRY, YOU'LL HAVE TO DRESS UP
LIKE A 160-YEAR-OLD MAN.
378
00:15:34,724 --> 00:15:36,136
I'M ON IT.
379
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:38,724
MY GOD!
380
00:15:38,793 --> 00:15:40,551
THE ILLUSION
IS SO PERFECT.
381
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:42,965
I ALMOST FORGOT I WAS
LOOKING AT AN IDIOT.
382
00:15:43,033 --> 00:15:45,102
NOW, THEY MAY ASK
FOR A DNA SAMPLE.
383
00:15:45,172 --> 00:15:47,551
I'D LIKE TO SEE THEM
FIND IT.
384
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:49,447
THIS PLAN IS IMPOSSIBLE.
385
00:15:49,517 --> 00:15:52,136
WE DON'T EVEN HAVEA SAMPLE
OF THE PROFESSOR'S DNA.
386
00:15:52,206 --> 00:15:54,551
I THINK IKNOW
WHERE TO GET SOME.
387
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,758
[ Qbert Screaming ]
388
00:16:02,861 --> 00:16:04,895
[ Qbert ]
WHY DO IHAVE TO BE THE HUMP?
389
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:06,965
'CAUSE YOU'RE TOO UGLY
TO BE A WART.
390
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:09,240
[ All Chuckling ]
391
00:16:09,309 --> 00:16:11,895
[ Machinery Whirring ]
392
00:16:16,172 --> 00:16:17,861
[ Whooshing ]
393
00:16:33,447 --> 00:16:35,551
[ Leela ]
YOUR MEDICARE
DOLLARS AT WORK.
394
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,206
HALT!
395
00:16:37,274 --> 00:16:39,274
IDENTIFY THIS GUEST.
396
00:16:39,344 --> 00:16:41,793
UH, THIS
IS PROFESSOR
HUBERT FARNSWORTH.
397
00:16:41,861 --> 00:16:42,654
HE ESCAPED.
398
00:16:42,724 --> 00:16:45,000
ESCAPED? NO ONE ESCAPES.
399
00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:47,724
THIS GUEST
DOES NOT LOOK 160.
400
00:16:47,793 --> 00:16:49,758
WHAT, I'M OLD!
LISTEN--
401
00:16:49,826 --> 00:16:52,413
[ Old Man Voice ]
HEY, YOU KIDS, GET OFF THE LAWN!
402
00:16:52,481 --> 00:16:54,724
HMM. IT IS TRUE OLD PEOPLE
ARE OFTEN CONCERNED
403
00:16:54,793 --> 00:16:56,654
THAT THERE ARE CHILDREN
ON THEIR LAWNS.
404
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:58,102
THERE'S NO
DENYING THAT,
405
00:16:58,172 --> 00:17:00,136
BUT WE'LL STILLNEED
TO VERIFY HIS IDENTITY
406
00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:01,654
WITH A DNA SAMPLE.
407
00:17:01,724 --> 00:17:03,861
GOT A HOT, STEAMING
BATCH RIGHT HERE.
408
00:17:03,931 --> 00:17:06,654
WE ONLY NEEDED ONE CELL.
409
00:17:06,723 --> 00:17:08,136
EH, KEEP THE CHANGE, BUDDY.
410
00:17:08,205 --> 00:17:09,862
[ Qbert ]
STUPID ROBOT.DID YOUR HUMP
411
00:17:09,931 --> 00:17:11,000
SAY SOMETHING?
412
00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:13,931
UH, I'VE GOT
TALKING HUMP SYNDROME.
413
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,550
AH, T.H.S.
414
00:17:17,517 --> 00:17:18,689
[ Bell Dings ]
415
00:17:18,758 --> 00:17:20,000
IDENTITY CONFIRMED.
416
00:17:20,067 --> 00:17:21,550
RETURN THIS SHAMBLING
SHUFFLEBOARDER
417
00:17:21,619 --> 00:17:22,826
TO HIS ROOM.
418
00:17:22,895 --> 00:17:25,344
7152 MAPLE DRIVE.
419
00:17:25,413 --> 00:17:26,309
SOUNDS NICE.
420
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:27,826
PREPARE TO BE SURPRISED.
421
00:17:39,619 --> 00:17:40,792
[ All Gasping ]
422
00:17:40,862 --> 00:17:43,034
SO THISIS WHERE
THEY STICK OLD PEOPLE.
423
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:44,172
IT'S HORRIFIC.
424
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,000
AT LEAST IT KEEPS
THEM FROM DRIVING.
425
00:18:00,550 --> 00:18:02,619
BRACE YOURSELF
FOR THE WORST.
426
00:18:02,689 --> 00:18:05,034
[ All Screaming ]
427
00:18:05,103 --> 00:18:06,964
AND YET HE LOOKS SO NATURAL.
428
00:18:07,034 --> 00:18:08,413
WHAT'S
HAPPENING?
429
00:18:08,481 --> 00:18:10,619
HE'S HOOKED UP
TO A LIFE-SUPPORT SYSTEM.
430
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:13,205
WE HAVE TO DISCONNECT HIM
VERY, VERY CAREFULLY,
431
00:18:13,275 --> 00:18:15,172
OR THE SHOCK
COULD KILL HIM.
432
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:16,413
FREEZE!
433
00:18:16,481 --> 00:18:18,172
[ Grunting ]
434
00:18:28,586 --> 00:18:29,550
SEIZE THEM!
435
00:18:29,619 --> 00:18:30,550
SEIZE THEM!SEIZE THEM!
436
00:18:30,619 --> 00:18:31,550
GET THEM!
437
00:18:31,619 --> 00:18:32,654
I MEAN, SEIZE THEM!
438
00:18:38,758 --> 00:18:41,654
OH, I'M SO BAD AT THIS.
439
00:18:57,448 --> 00:18:59,309
[ Screams ]
440
00:18:59,378 --> 00:19:00,931
[ Creaking ]
441
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,826
WE'RE PROBABLY GONNA MAKE IT,
BUT WE MIGHT NOT!
442
00:19:08,895 --> 00:19:10,654
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
WE'LL NEVER FIT!
443
00:19:10,723 --> 00:19:12,034
WILL TOO.
444
00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:13,448
[ Screams ]
445
00:19:13,517 --> 00:19:15,689
TOLD YOU.
446
00:19:18,619 --> 00:19:20,550
[ Panting ]
447
00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:23,481
COME ON, LEELA.
448
00:19:23,550 --> 00:19:25,205
STEP YOUR BIG BOOT
DOWN ON THE GAS PEDAL.
449
00:19:26,172 --> 00:19:28,689
[ Engines Roaring ]
450
00:19:39,689 --> 00:19:40,792
[ Buzzing ]
451
00:19:40,862 --> 00:19:42,378
THEY'VE BLOWN OUT
ONE OF OUR ENGINES.
452
00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:45,000
FIX IT, FIX IT,
FIX IT, FIX IT,
FIX IT, FIX IT!
453
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:46,550
FIX IT, FIX IT,
FIX IT!
454
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,654
ONLY THE PROFESSOR
KNOWS HOW TO FIX IT.
455
00:19:48,723 --> 00:19:50,000
WE HAVE TO WAKE HIM UP.
456
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,067
[ Honks ]
457
00:19:54,136 --> 00:19:55,723
TRY SHOCKING HIM.
458
00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:58,205
YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY CHECK
IS LATE!
459
00:19:58,275 --> 00:20:00,517
STUFF COSTS MORE
THAN IT USED TO!
460
00:20:00,586 --> 00:20:02,654
YOUNG PEOPLE
USE CURSE WORDS!
461
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:05,034
DAMN IT. WE'LL
HAVE TO FIX THE
ENGINE OURSELVES.
462
00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:06,654
WE CAN'T, YOU BASTARD.
463
00:20:06,723 --> 00:20:08,481
NO ONE KNOWS
HOW IT WORKS.
464
00:20:08,550 --> 00:20:09,654
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
465
00:20:09,723 --> 00:20:11,240
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
466
00:20:11,309 --> 00:20:13,792
I UNDERSTAND
HOW THE ENGINES WORK NOW.
467
00:20:13,862 --> 00:20:15,205
IT CAME TO ME IN A DREAM.
468
00:20:15,275 --> 00:20:17,586
THE ENGINES
DON'T MOVE THE SHIP AT ALL.
469
00:20:17,654 --> 00:20:19,275
THE SHIP STAYS WHERE IT IS,
470
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:22,136
AND THE ENGINES
MOVE THE UNIVERSE AROUND IT.
471
00:20:22,205 --> 00:20:23,586
THAT'S A COMPLETE LOAD.
472
00:20:23,654 --> 00:20:26,517
NOTHING'S A COMPLETE LOAD.
NOT IF YOU CAN IMAGINE IT.
473
00:20:26,586 --> 00:20:30,034
THAT'S WHAT BEING A SCIENTIST
IS ALL ABOUT, RIGHT, PROFESSOR?
474
00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:31,586
[ Incoherent Muttering ]
475
00:20:31,654 --> 00:20:33,344
LET'S RIDE.
476
00:20:33,413 --> 00:20:35,000
[ Engines Roaring ]
477
00:20:47,758 --> 00:20:50,344
[ Qbert ]
GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE.
478
00:20:50,413 --> 00:20:52,136
HE'S MADE
A COMPLETE RECOVERY.
479
00:20:52,205 --> 00:20:53,550
ALL RIGHT!
WAY TO GO!
480
00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:56,240
I'M AS SPRY
AS A 140-YEAR-OLD.
481
00:20:56,309 --> 00:20:57,240
[ Bone Cracking ]
482
00:20:57,309 --> 00:20:59,378
SEE? I ONLY BROKE
ONE ANKLE.
483
00:20:59,448 --> 00:21:01,862
SO WHAT WERE THEY DOING TO YOU
IN THAT AWFUL DRAWER?
484
00:21:01,931 --> 00:21:05,517
OH, THEY HAD ME HOOKED UP
TO A BIZARRE VIRTUAL WORLD
485
00:21:05,586 --> 00:21:07,481
THAT SEEMED ABSOLUTELY REAL.
486
00:21:07,550 --> 00:21:08,517
WHAT WAS IT LIKE?
487
00:21:08,586 --> 00:21:10,240
IT WAS AS THOUGH
I WERE LIVING
488
00:21:10,309 --> 00:21:11,654
IN A FACILITY IN FLORIDA
489
00:21:11,723 --> 00:21:13,654
WITH HUNDREDS OF
OTHER OLD PEOPLE.
490
00:21:13,723 --> 00:21:16,067
ALL DAY LONG, WE'D
PLAY BINGO, EAT OATMEAL
491
00:21:16,136 --> 00:21:18,067
AND WAIT FOR OUR
CHILDREN TO CALL.
492
00:21:18,136 --> 00:21:20,172
IT'S A HUNDRED
TIMES MORE HORRIBLE
493
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,067
THAN ANYTHING
I COULD IMAGINE.
494
00:21:22,136 --> 00:21:23,103
OH, MY, YES.
495
00:21:23,172 --> 00:21:25,240
THANK YOU ALL FOR SAVING ME--
496
00:21:25,309 --> 00:21:27,481
ESPECIALLY YOU,
MY LITTLE CLONE.
497
00:21:27,550 --> 00:21:30,000
NO MATTER WHAT
YOU DECIDE TO DO
WITH YOUR LIFE
498
00:21:30,067 --> 00:21:32,172
I'M STILL PROUD OF YOU.
499
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,413
I'VE ALREADY DECIDED.
500
00:21:34,481 --> 00:21:35,862
DAD...
501
00:21:35,931 --> 00:21:39,309
WHEN I GROW UP,
I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE YOU.
502
00:21:39,378 --> 00:21:40,931
OH, DON'T WORRY, SON.
503
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,792
YOU WILL.
504
00:21:42,862 --> 00:21:45,103
INCIDENTALLY, YOU
MIGHT WANT TO READ UP
505
00:21:45,172 --> 00:21:47,792
ON A CONDITION KNOWN
AS WANDERING BLADDER.
506
00:21:47,862 --> 00:21:49,309
WHY?
507
00:21:49,378 --> 00:21:50,758
[ Farnsworth ]
NO REASON.
508
00:21:50,826 --> 00:21:53,136
NO REASON AT ALL.
34537
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