All language subtitles for Futurama.S02E13.1080p.WEB.h264-NiXON_Track03

[ Whirring ]

[ Barking ]

[ Whimpering ]

GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE.

SEVERAL YEARS AGO,
I TRIED TO LOG ON

TO A.O.L., AND IT
JUST WENT THROUGH.

WHEE!

WE'RE ON-LINE.

GO AHEAD, GET INTO THESE
NET SUITS.

I DESIGNED AND TESTED THEM
MYSELF.

THEY SMELL LIKE
BURNING RHESUS MONKEY.

REALLY? I GUESS WHEN YOU'RE
AROUND IT ALL DAY

YOU STOP NOTICING.

OFF YOU GO.

BEHOLD!

THE INTERNET!

MY GOD.

IT'S FULL OF ADS.

[ Ads Screaming ]

[ Both Moaning ]

WHOO!

[ Karate Yell ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Squawking Approaching ]

FOLLOW ME.

[ Squawking Continues ]

[ Fry ]
IT'S IMMENSE.

IT'S GOT EVERY PIECE
OF INFORMATION

ANYONE COULD EVER WANT.

SO I SEE.

[ Hooting And Laughing ]

WHAT?
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

WOW!

[ People Chattering ]

HEY, THAT'S ME.

NO, IT ISN'T.

I JUST TOOK SOME PICTURES
OF YOUR FACE

AND STUCK THEM
ON SOMEONE ELSE'S BODY.

HEY...

ARE YOU OVER 18?

YES.

YES.

HI.

I'M TELLING YOU, FRY

THEY'VE GOT A CHAT ROOM
FOR EVERYBODY.

AND HERE IT IS.

EWW. THAT IS SO GROSS.

YEAH.

I'LL STICK WITH
THIS ONE, THANK YOU.

YEAH.

[ All Murmuring ]

[ Chuckling ]

HI.

I'M A NAUGHTY NURSE

AND I REALLY NEED
SOMEONE TO TALK TO.

$9.95 A MINUTE.

OH. YOU'RE A DOLLAR
NAUGHTIER THAN MOST.

SO, HOW ABOUT
THEM KNICKS?

[ Clicking Tongue ] [ Groans ]

HELLO? ARE THERE ANY GIRLS
IN THIS ROOM AT ALL?

YEAH. BRING ON
THE HOT CHICKS

'CAUSE I'M
A HOT STUD.

[ Men ]
YEAH.

SO ARE WE.

I'M A WOMAN
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.

[ Men Murmuring ]

I DON'T LIKE TO PLAY GAMES,
SO I'LL JUST SAY I'M A CYCLOPS.

I'M A SPACESHIP CAPTAIN;
I'M THE ONLY ONE OF MY SPECIES,

AND I'M INTERESTED
IN MEETING A MAN.

A WOMAN?

I'M SCARED.

WELL, THANKS TO THE INTERNET,
I'M NOW BORED WITH SEX.

IS THERE A PLACE ON THE WEB THAT
PANDERS TO MY LUST FOR VIOLENCE?

IS THE SPACE POPE REPTILIAN?

[ Hermes ]
GET READY FOR FUN, FRY.

NOWADAYS WE HAVE A TYPE OF GAME
PLAYED ENTIRELY ON VIDEO.

[ Leela ]
WE CALL IT A VIDEO GAME.

A VIDEO GAME, YOU SAY?

WELL, GOLLY GEE.

YOU MIGHTY SPACEMEN
OF THE FUTURE

WILL HAVE TO SHOW
ME HOW IT WORKS.

♪♪ [ Up-tempo Techno ]

[ Laughing ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Groans ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Evil Laughter ]

THE DOCTOR IS IN.

THE DOCTOR IS OUT.

EVERYONE, PLEASE
SIGN OFF.

WE HAVE A DELIVERY.

PLUS I HAVE TO USE
THE PHONE TO...

[ Laughing ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

LEELA, PLEASE TELL
THE OTHERS THAT...

[ Screaming ]

WHOA.

[ Groaning ]

[ Screams ]

[ Sighs ]

WHO ARE YOU?

I SAW YOU IN THE CHAT ROOM

BUT YOU LEFT BEFORE I HAD
A CHANCE TO TALK TO YOU.

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF
SEARCHING FOR ANOTHER CYCLOPS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I'VE DREAMED OF THIS MOMENT
ALL MY LIFE.

DO YOU THINK PERHAPS,
YOU AND I...

HA-HA!

FRY, YOU IDIOT.

EVER SINCE I WAS ABANDONED
ON EARTH

I'VE BEEN SEARCHING
FOR WHO MY PEOPLE ARE

AND WHERE THEY COME FROM.

THEN I FINALLY MEET ANOTHER
CYCLOPS AND YOU BLAST HIM.

YOU WRECKED MY ONE CHANCE
TO LEARN WHO I AM.

OH, LEELA, I FEEL TERRIBLE.

IF THERE'S ANYTHING
I CAN EVER DO...

GOTCHA.

I WON!

I'M THE GREATEST!

[ Laughing ]

COME ON.
WE HAVE WORK TO DO.

[ Groans ]

[ Sighs ]

ARE YOU STILLMAD
AT ME FOR WRECKING

YOUR ONCE-IN-A-
LIFETIME CHANCE

TO LEARN THE
MEANING OF
YOUR EXISTENCE?

NO. I'M JUST HAPPY YOU WERE ABLE
TO WIN A VIDEO GAME.

NOW LET'S CONCENTRATE ON GETTING
THIS DESPERATELY NEEDED POPCORN

TO THE PEOPLE
OF CINEPLEX FOURTEEN, OKAY?

[ Computer ]
Leela, you've got mail.

[ Sighs ]

It's not spam.

HUH?

IT'S HIM.

To Leela.

Subject, hello. I am Alcazar.

Fortunately, I wrote down
your screen name

before I was dispatched
by that oafish moron.

KICKED YOUR ASS.

Leela, we have much to discuss.

Please come join me
on the planet of your birth.

Coordinates follow.

WELL, TOO BAD
WE'VE GOT

TO MAKE THAT URGENT
POPCORN DELIVERY.

[ Leela ] IT'LL GET THERE.

[ Leela ]
AFTER A WHOLE LIFE OF SEARCHING

I MAY FINALLY HAVE
FOUND WHERE I BELONG.

TOO BAD IT'S A DUMP.

LOOK AT THAT STATUE.

IT'S ONLY GOT ONE EYE.

LAZY SCULPTOR.

[ Man ]
WELCOME HOME, LEELA.

ALCAZAR?

ARE YOU REAL

OR AM I SEEING SINGLE?

OW.

OF COURSE, I'M REAL.

AFTER ALL THIS TIME,
SOMEBODY ELSE WITH ONE EYE

WHO ISN'T A CLUMSY CARPENTER
OR A KID WITH A B.B. GUN.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, LEELA.

YOU'LL NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN.

COME.

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO YOURSELF.

DO YOU MIND
IF YOUR SERVANTS WALK?

NOT AT ALL.

[ Evil Laughter ]

[ Alcazar ]
WE ARE THE LAST
REMAINING CYCLOPES.

OUR PLANET IS CYCLOPIA.

THIS IS THE CAPITOL,
CYCLOPS CITY.

STOP ME IF I'M GOING
TOO FAST FOR YOU.

SO MUCH INFORMATION,
AND YET, SOMEHOW

I FEEL AS IF I
KNOW IT ALL ALREADY.

THIS SACRED MOSAIC
DEPICTS OUR GODDESS OF BEAUTY.

HMM. YOU GOT ANY
SACRED ARTWORK OF
HER FROM THE BACK?

HER PERFECT EYE REMINDS
ME OF YOURS, LEELA.

HAD OUR RACE SURVIVED

YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN
A TEMPLE PRIESTESS

OR A SUPERMODEL.

OH, PLEASE. REALLY?

[ Goofy Humming ]

AND THERE'S THE INFAMOUS PIRATE
PURPLE BEARD,

SCOURGE OF THE SIX SEAS.

WHAT'S OVER
THAT HILL?

[ Alcazar ]
THE FORBIDDEN VALLEY--

A HOLY SANCTUARY
WHERE NO ONE MAY TREAD.

IS THAT
ANYTHING LIKE A CEMETERY?

'CAUSE I GOT TO TAKE A LEAK. OW!

FRY, THAT'S OFFENSIVE
TO OUR PEOPLE.

ISN'T IT?

OW.

THIS IS MY HOME.

I HOPE YOU DON'T THINK
LESS OF ME

BECAUSE I LIVE
IN A GIANT CASTLE.

OH, NO, NOT AT ALL.

IF ANYTHING, I'M
MOREIMPRESSED.

OOH. I'M GOING TO NEED
TO MAKE SOME ROOM.

AND HERE IS WHERE
I DREAM MY LONELY DREAMS

AND COOK MY SIMPLE MEALS.

IT'S ALL SO SAD.

WHAT HAPPENED
TO OUR PEOPLE?

[ Sighing ]

THAT'S TOO PAINFUL
TO SPEAK OF NOW.

COME. I'LL SHOW YOU
YOUR QUARTERS.

[ Whistling Casually ]

[ Clangs ]

OW. OW. OW.

[ Alcazar Sobbing ]

I HEARD YOU FROM MY ROOM.

WHAT'S WRONG?

NOTHING.

IT'S JUST...

NO, LEELA.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE TEARS
IN YOUR PERFECT EYE.

PLEASE. IS IT ABOUT THE FATE
OF OUR PEOPLE?

BECAUSE I'M VERY INTERESTED
IN THAT.

WELL, OKAY

BUT IT'S CHILLY

AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE
ALL WET FROM THE TEARS.

LET'S GO INTO MY CHAMBER.

IT WASN'T LONG AGO

OUR PEOPLE WERE HAPPY
AND PROSPEROUS

BUT THE EYELESS MOLE PEOPLE OF SUB-TERRA THREE

GREW JEALOUS
OF OUR VISUAL PROWESS.

THEY FIRED MISSILES
IN ALL DIRECTIONS

HOPING TO HIT CYCLOPIA.

UNFORTUNATELY, ONE OF THE 40 PLANETS HIT WAS OURS.

HOW FAR AWAY
DO YOU THINK IT IS?

A TRILLION MILES?

[ Alcazar ] THINGS GOT HOT.

YOU LOOK A LITTLE
HOT, ACTUALLY.

YOU COULD TAKE
OFF THAT JACKET.

OUR PEOPLE DON'T
LIKE TO BE HOT.

ANYWAY, JUST
BEFORE THE IMPACT

OUR SMARTEST SCIENTIST MANAGED TO SAVE ONE BABY.

[ Crying ]

ALCAZAR,
I USED TO BE A BABY.

IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ME.

[ Alcazar ] FORTUNATELY, I WAS EMPLOYED AS A POOL CLEANER AT THE TIME

AND, WHEN I EMERGED FROM RETRIEVING A DEAD POSSUM

I FOUND I WAS THE ONLY ONE LEFT.

[ Anguished Cry ]

IT'S SO TRAGIC.

YES, BUT THE
REAL TRAGEDY

IS THAT OUR RACE
ENDS WITH US.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU'RE A MALE.

AND I'M A FEMALE.

I'M STILL NOT FOLLOWING YOU.

[ Smooching Sounds And Moaning ]

WAKE UP, MY KING.

[ Grunting, Hacking And Spitting ]

OH, GEEZ, WHAT A NIGHT.

MAKE ME SOME COFFEE,
WOULD YA?

UH, SURE. OKAY.

WHAT DO YOU
TAKE WITH THAT?

PANCAKES AND SAUSAGE.

KITCHEN'S IN THE BASEMENT;
PANS ARE IN THE ATTIC.

MAYBE AFTER BREAKFAST

WE CAN TALK ABOUT
REBUILDING OUR CIVILIZATION.

[ Snoring ]

MMM. GREAT PANCAKES, LEELA.

YEAH, THEY'LL COME IN HANDY

IF I NEED TO COVER
ANY TINY MANHOLES.

[ Chuckling ]

[ Laughing ]

LISTEN, HON

WE DON'T WANT TO
LOOK LIKE SLOBS

IN FRONT OF THE OTHER
SPECIES, DO WE?

NO.

SO GET TO WORK
ON THESE DISHES.

THEN ORGANIZE
MY COLLECTION

OF NAKED CELEBRITY PHOTOS
BY WHAT YOU CAN SEE.

LOOK, ALCAZAR...

CALL ME AL.

LOOK, AL

I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN
LIVING ALONE A LONG TIME

AND I CAN SYMPATHIZE

BUT I'M NOT YOUR MAID.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY.

I GUESS THE RELATIONSHIP
ISN'T GOING TO WORK OUT.

SO MUCH
FOR THE CYCLOPS RACE.

I THOUGHT IT WAS
A PRETTY GOOD RACE BUT...

OKAY, OKAY.

I'LL DO THE DISHES.

HEY, WHERE'D THEY GO?

[ Clanking ]

AH. LEELA IS EXPERIENCING

THE GREATEST JOY
A WOMAN CAN FEEL--

WORSHIPPING
SOME LOWLIFE JERK.

HE MAY BE SOME
LOWLIFE JERK

BUT I DON'T TRUST HIM.

I THINK HE'S
HIDING SOMETHING

AND I'M GOING TO FIND OUT
WHAT IT IS.

[ Fiendish Laughter ]

TRY AND STOP ME.

[ Screaming ]

AL?

I DID MY HAIR
THE WAY YOU WANTED IT.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

FRIENDS.

HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET
THIS COUCH

AND THAT TV SET
AND ALL THIS STUFF?

THEY WERE GIVING IT AWAY
ON THE STREET CORNER

JUST LIKE YOU, LEELA.

[ Whooping And Hooting ]

TOO BAD THEY
WEREN'T GIVING AWAY

THE THREE THINGS
YOU ACTUALLY NEED--

MOUTHWASH, A BACK WAX,
AND STAIN-PROOF UNDERWEAR.

[ Whooping And Hooting ]

YOU GO, GIRL!

BY THE WAY, YOUR PAL FRY
FELL INTO THE DUNGEON.

TAKE HIM A TACO SO
HE DOESN'T DIE AND
STINK UP THE PLACE.

COME ON, AL.

CAN'T YOU LET
THE LITTLE GUY OUT?

GEEZ, LEELA, TWICE IN ONE DAY?

I'M NOT SUPERMAN.

[ Whooping And Hooting ]

WHY WERE YOU SNEAKING

INTO MY PEOPLE'S
FORBIDDEN VALLEY?

'CAUSE I THINK ALCAZAR'S
HIDING SOMETHING FROM YOU.

LISTEN, LEELA,
YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT.

YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE IT.
YOU MAY NOT WANT TO HEAR IT.

BUT ALCAZAR'S A JERK.
HE'S BAD FOR YOU. HE--

I KNOW.

YOU DO?

FRY, IF IT'S
OBVIOUS TO YOU

WITH YOUR LEARNING
DISABILITY

THEN, OF COURSE,
IT'S OBVIOUS TO ME.

HE'S CRUDE AND GROSS,
AND HE TREATS ME LIKE A SLAVE.

THEN DUMP HIS ONE-EYED ASS.

I CAN'T.

IF I LEAVE ALCAZAR

THAT'S THE END OF
THE CYCLOPS RACE

AND I WON'T LET
THAT HAPPEN

EVEN IF IT MEANS
A LIFETIME OF
UNHAPPINESS.

[ Toilet Flushing ]

[ Alcazar ]
LEELA, MOP UP IN
AISLE NUMBER TWO.

[ Animals Laughing
And Hooting ]

I'LL BREAK UP
WITH HIM AT DINNER.

I'LL BE THERE.

YO, LEELA, WHAT GIVES?

PIG SAYS YOUR SLOP
TASTES LIKE CRAP.

YEAH, LIKE CRAP.

[ Snorting ]

COME ON, LEELA.

YOU DESERVE BETTER
THAN THIS GUY.

DUMP HIM ALREADY.

I'M TRYING.

[ Clinking ]

HEY, EVERYONE,
JAM A SOCK IN YOUR SPIT FAUCETS.

NOT LONG AGO, I SPENT
MY LONELY NIGHTS

RENTING SLASHER
FLICKS WITH RAT MAN

AND HIS GIRLFRIEND.

BUT THEN
A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ARRIVED...

STOP EATING, PIG!

AND SHE BROUGHT NEW HOPE FOR ME

AND OUR ONCE-GREAT CIVILIZATION.

NOW, A MILLION CENTURIES
OF CYCLOPS DESTINY

DEPEND ON THE ANSWER
TO ONE QUESTION.

LEELA, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

NO. NO.

YES, I WILL!

OH!

THEY'REGETTING
MARRIED.

CONGRATULATIONS,
LEELA.

[ All Congratulating ]

GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

IT'S A MAGICAL DAY.

WELCOME!

PSST! LEELA!

YOU'VE GOT TO GET
ME OUT OF HERE.

IT'S HORRIBLE--
EATING SCRAPS

LETTING MY WASTE DROP
WHEREVER IT FALLS

LIKE AN ANIMAL
IN A ZOO.

ANIMALS GO IN THE CORNER.

THE CORNER.

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?

LOOK, FRY, I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU

BUT IT'S MY WEDDING,
AND I'M KIND OF BUSY.

HERE. TRY TO BE HAPPY
FOR ME.

THAT WAY, AT LEAST
ONE OF US WILL BE.

THAT'S IT.

IT'S TIME FOR
THIS BIRD TO WALK.

[ Grunting ]

[ Giddy Laughter ]

OW!

[ Groans ]

BENDER!

COME ON, WE'VE GOT TO GET
SOME DIRT ON ALCAZAR.

LET'S GO FIND OUT WHAT MAKES THE
FORBIDDEN VALLEY SO FORBIDDEN.

EH, NO THANKS. I'M GOOD.

BUT THERE'S PROBABLY SOME COOL
FORBIDDEN STUFF YOU CAN STEAL.

I DON'T KNOW, FRY.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE,
I FEEL LIKE...

I'VE STOLEN ENOUGH.

BENDER, SNAP OUT OF IT.

[ Sputtering ]

SORRY. I DON'T KNOW
WHAT CAME OVER ME.

LET'S GO!

♪ I LOVE STEALIN' ♪

♪ I LOVE
TAKIN' THINGS ♪

[ Yawns ]

[ Plays Reggae
"Here Comes The Bride" ]

[ Raspberry ]

THAT PIG OVER THERE IS WEARING
THE SAME SANDALS AS ME.

[ Lizards Snarl And Hiss ]

COME ON, BOY, JUMP!

GOOD BOY.

[ Bender ]
WHOA, MITTENS.

[ Lizard Screeches ]

[ Fry And Bender Gasp ]

MY GOD!

FOUR IDENTICAL CASTLES.

EACH MORE IDENTICAL
THAN THE LAST.

[ Fry ]
THAT'S WEIRD.

IT'S ANOTHER
CYCLOPS.

ONLY THIS ONE
HAS FIVE EYES.

AND HERE'S ANOTHER
ONE WITH NOEYES.

DOES ANYONE HAVE A REASON
WHY THIS COUPLE

SHALL NOT BE JOINED

IN THE IRREVOCABLE SHACKLES
OF HOLY BLISS?

SAVING A RACE OF
ONE-EYED MONSTERS?

WHO COULD
OBJECT TO THAT?

CUT TO THE CHASE, PREACH.

DO YOU, ALCAZAR,
TAKE THIS WOMAN...

POORER, IN SICKNESS,
TO LOVE, DEATH, PART?

YEAH, SURE, I DO.
COME ON-- FASTER!

DO YOU, LEELA,
COPY AND PASTE HIS RESPONSE

TILL DEATH DO YOU PART?

I... D--

[ Lizards Screeching ]

[ All Gasping ]

OH, MY GOD.

[ Squeals ]

WHAT THE...?

HEY, ALCAZAR,

YOU LEFT SOMEBODY
OFF THE GUEST LIST.

[ Panting ]
ALCAZAR!

[ Italian Accent ]
WHY YOU ARE SO LATE

FOR OUR WEDDING?

AND WHY YOU HAVE ONLY ONE EYE?

IT'S...
[ Chuckles ]

OOH.

UH, HEY, SWEETIE.

JUST GO BACK TO THE CASTLE
AND WAIT FOR ME.

[ Gasping ]
SHE... SHE'S NUTS.

I CAN MORPH INTO
A FIVE-EYED ALIEN

AND I KIND OFSAID
I'D MARRY HER.

BUT I'M REALLY
A CYCLOPS

AND I'M REALLY
GOING TO MARRY YOU.

OH, YEAH?
THEN WHAT ABOUT THIS?

UH...
[ Chuckles ]

UH... THIS IS A BIT AWKWARD.

WHO'S A-SHE?

WHO'S SHE?

WHO ARE THEY?

GO BACK TO THE CASTLE, SANDY.

AND MAYBE YOU'D
LIKE TO MEET HER

AND HER.

UH, EH, UH...

THIS, UM...
[ Chuckling ]

LEELA...

THIS MUST ALL BE VERY CONFUSING.

A LITTLE.

THAT'S WHY I'VE DECIDED
TO HURT YOU

UNTIL YOU EXPLAIN IT.

[ Yelling And Grunting ]

SHOW US YOUR REALFORM.

YEAH!

DO IT!

[ Snorts ]

WELL, THIS IS THE REAL ME,
BUT I CAN EXPLAIN.

WE ALL HAVE NEEDS.

MINE WAS TO MAKE IT
WITH FIVE WEIRDOS

AND HAVE THEM SCRUB
MY FIVE CASTLES.

I GAVE YOU ALL
WHAT YOU WANTED

AND, OF COURSE, I MADE
A FEW BUCKS LETTING PIG

WATCH THROUGH
THE TWO-WAY MIRROR.

CAN ANY OF YOU SAY
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE DONE

THE EXACT SAME THING
IN MY POSITION?

[ Weeping ]
HE'S A SAINT.

BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE ALL
FIVE WEDDINGS ON THE SAME DAY?

HEY, LADY, YOU GOT ANY IDEA
WHAT IT COSTS

TO RENT A TUX
THAT CHANGES SHAPE?

ALL RIGHT, ALCAZAR.

I JUST HAVE ONE LAST QUESTION
FOR YOU.

WHAT'S THAT?

IF YOU COULD CHANGE FORM

WHY DIDN'T YOU CHANGE IT
IN THE ONEPLACE THAT COUNTS?

[ Whooping And Jeering ]

[ Farnsworth Laughs Alone ]

[ Bender Humming ]

THANKS FOR SAVING ME
FROM THAT CREEP, FRY.

HEY, THAT'S WHAT I DO.

I GUESS I WAS SO DESPERATE
TO FIND OUT WHO I REALLY WAS

I FORGOT WHO I REALLY WAS.

NO HARM DONE.

IN THE MANY DECADES
YOU'LL WORK TO REPAY ME

FOR THAT SHIPMENT OF POPCORN
YOU DESTROYED

YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME
TO SEARCH FOR YOUR TRUE HOME.

YEAH.

I MEAN, HOW MANY PLANETS
CAN THERE BE?