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1
00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:10,635
Oh my god, I cannot fucking believe this,
here we fucking go!
2
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:12,637
Jeez!
3
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:17,642
Pardon the interruption.
We are once again in the federal clear.
4
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,270
Rick what the hell?
Are you a Turkey Dracula now?
5
00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:21,688
Morty, is that a Pooplickian GamePod?
6
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:23,523
Actually it’s the GamePod XL.
7
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,692
They say it’s the most realistic
video game console ever.
8
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:27,694
-I never got you that.
-Space Mom did.
9
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,612
She’s in for the holiday weekend.
Remember?
10
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,364
Shit, in that case, let’s go,
11
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,241
-let’s get out of h...
-I heard you smack the glass, Dad,
12
00:00:33,324 --> 00:00:35,702
-if you bail, I’ll disown you!
-I’d say don’t hop through a portal.
13
00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:37,328
But wait, you can’t.
14
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:39,414
Look at it this way, Morty.
15
00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:42,542
Life is a subscription and Thanksgiving
is your family’s yearly charge.
16
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,169
Wow Dad, good job.
17
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:49,132
Rick, put some pants on.
Today has so few rules.
18
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,258
Yes, Patriarch.
19
00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:58,600
I’d like to make a toast.
Today is a day for thanks. And for family.
20
00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:01,436
And for remembering
all of those that have less.
21
00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:03,438
-Okay, pick a scope.
-Pick a scope?
22
00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:07,150
-Can we please have a normal Thanksgiving?
-Well seems like all the ones I remember.
23
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,276
Good point.
24
00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:11,529
Baby, you, it’s a toast.
25
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:12,572
-Sorry!
-Sorry!
26
00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:18,912
Anyway, I’m thankful for my wife.
Beth. The Beth that chose me.
27
00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:23,583
I’m so grateful to you, and I literally
could not live without you.
28
00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:26,586
I really mean that.
If something were to happen to you,
29
00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:29,506
or if you were to leave me,
or be unfaithful, I would die.
30
00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,300
Literally. Probably by my own hand.
31
00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:34,511
-Okay.
-I know how I’d do it.
32
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,387
Our first blender has an extra long cord
33
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:39,641
and it was manufactured before
safety fuses, so I’d draw a warm bath...
34
00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:42,602
And blend some stuff, good toast, honey.
To thankfulness.
35
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,481
-To... America?
-To ending the toast?
36
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,525
-To ending the toast.
-To ending the toast.
37
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:51,653
Just to, be clear,
I was saying I’d kill myself.
38
00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:53,321
-God.
-God, we know.
39
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:29,649
-Sorry Jerry got all husband-y.
-Yeah. Do not miss that.
40
00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:32,193
So I was thinking we could set you up
in Jerry’s man cave?
41
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,654
That’s okay, I’ll sleep in my car.
It’s got a Tardis thing going on,
42
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:39,200
bigger on the inside. Dad calls it hack,
but my soaking tub begs to differ.
43
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:43,371
Maybe I’ll trade you... my lower back.
44
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:47,333
-I got this.
-Jesus, that was great.
45
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:52,380
Well, you’re me.
I find this is usually the biggest help.
46
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,385
I just love... the Venusian stuff.
47
00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:59,679
It’s cool, I get insecure trying
to pronounce this crap too
48
00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,681
but I got just the thing for that. Here.
49
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,699
Okay shoot that asteroid.
Now shoot that one.
50
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,327
Now shoot me in the face.
This game’s trash.
51
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:24,412
I didn’t want to say anything
but this does seem lame.
52
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,706
I thought it was maybe cause
we’ve shot so many real asteroids
53
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:27,707
let’s look at the menu
54
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,667
There’s the realism setting.
55
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:32,587
Cool. Also stupid.
The factory setting is 4?
56
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:33,630
What do we want, 10?
57
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,673
No, do 9, I’m kidding.
58
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,634
-Shut up, Summer.
-Shut up Summer. Put ten.
59
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,181
-This is the same.
-It’s worse. It’s...
60
00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:47,352
I get it. Okay. It’s more real.
The vast majority of space is empty.
61
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,729
What? Who cares?
Then what am I doing?
62
00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:53,441
Looks like you can record a video
for your kid in case you die.
63
00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:55,652
Not a bad idea, you’re gonna be
in space for a while.
64
00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,279
May as well.
65
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,616
Son. If you’re seeing this,
66
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,619
I starved to death while
looking for an asteroid.
67
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:08,331
This is stupid. You guys are obviously
just trying to convince yourselves
68
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,208
it’s cool because you feel lame about it.
69
00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,251
Summer you know nothing
about gamer culture.
70
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,711
Bro, tell your son you love
the shit out of him.
71
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,088
I’m gonna!
72
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,307
Of course we both can’t sleep
at the same time.
73
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,393
We do share a shitty back.
74
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,645
-Turn around. At least let me...
-Yes please.
75
00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:34,399
-My God.
-Okay I know we’re not massage people
76
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:37,610
but you need this. See you act
like this bad ass space cowboy
77
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:42,615
but I know you’re just a scared little
overachiever that keeps all her OCD right.
78
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,492
-My God.
-Yeah.
79
00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,786
By the way you better
be taking notes, I’m next.
80
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,330
-It’s my back you dumb bitch.
-Nice.
81
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,165
What?
82
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,467
-Well I better get back to bed.
-Same
83
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,350
So now you’re into highly
realistic video games?
84
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,686
Maybe I decided real life
was too much right now
85
00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:13,730
or maybe I’m not afraid to change
my mind about stuff,
86
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:17,275
maybe mental flexibility is
stronger than stubbornness.
87
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:20,528
Nice manip’, Sum-Sum.
Okay, I’m in the alley behind the library.
88
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,613
-Uptown or downtown?
-Shit, there’s one uptown, too?
89
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,532
It’s okay, stay there,
I think I’m near the red line.
90
00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:27,326
-Is this Street Fighter?
-Street Fighter where you start
91
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,329
at the beginning of each fighter’s day
and have to find each other to fight.
92
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,665
It’s very realistic.
Not even guaranteed a fight will happen.
93
00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,501
That meter filling up is us forgetting
what made us so mad.
94
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:39,714
If anyone’s interested in a higher level
of realism, I’m “booting up” the O.G.
95
00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:44,552
That’s Original Game,
called a jigsaw puzzle, in the den.
96
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,723
Hey, gang! Me and my space self are gonna
make a run to the Gloppy Drop System
97
00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:51,225
for ice cream. Any flavor requests?
98
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:51,768
-Vanilla!
-Vanilla!
99
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:55,313
Why do you guys have to go all the way
to deep space just for ice cream?
100
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,565
Gloppy Dropulites have less
taste buds than humans,
101
00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:59,400
their ice cream is like a hospital bed,
102
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,569
it’s designed for you to do less
so it does more.
103
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:03,237
Okay see ya in a bit.
104
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:07,325
I’ll get started sorting all the obvious
sky pieces. Secret technique.
105
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:08,659
-Oh fuck it’s ON, bitch!
-Oh shit there you are!
106
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:11,370
-I’m gonna eat your ass.
-You will die in the street like a dog!
107
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:15,708
Stunning.
108
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:19,253
Thank you. This is incredible.
109
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,173
Just glad I had something in your size.
110
00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:28,262
How far is Gloppy Drop? And why
do I always think I’m wearing a watch?
111
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:31,474
I actually have a pint of Gloppy Drop
on a little apartment orbiting Earth.
112
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,477
-So we have time.
-You have your own space station?
113
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,605
We have our own space station.
We’re the same person.
114
00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:41,692
There’s differences. Like, one of us
has no idea who she really is.
115
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,611
Wrong. But let’s make a deal.
116
00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:47,406
Let’s trust ourselves enough to stop
wondering who we are when we’re together.
117
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:48,950
We get to say anything to each other.
118
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:51,953
Things we’d never say to anyone else,
even ourselves.
119
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,788
What don’t we say to ourselves?
120
00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:57,500
How about my ass looks good
in that space suit.
121
00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,585
I mean it. I’m a good looking woman.
122
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:00,920
Well that’s nice of you to say.
123
00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:05,967
I also... find myself...
quite attractive.
124
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,229
We forgot the ice cream.
125
00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:23,276
I want you back in my guts like
I’m one of your sick little fillies.
126
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:34,328
Goddammit, Morty!
You can’t just take my controller.
127
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,496
Yes I can! It’s mine.
128
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:38,541
-Okay, Sum-Sum, gimme.
-Make your own controller,
129
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:40,293
some of us need
all the control we can get.
130
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:41,627
Fuck you!
131
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,423
So why are you so suddenly
into realistic video games?
132
00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:48,426
-I already was.
-But now you’re into them the way I am.
133
00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,511
You mean like staring at them
in a numb trance.
134
00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:52,805
Not judging, just noticing.
135
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:55,600
You tend to notice stuff
a little before I do.
136
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,018
But eventually you do notice.
137
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:59,520
And now we can both
not notice together, yes.
138
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:00,688
My god, Beth?!
139
00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:02,940
I thought you said you got ice cream?
140
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:07,695
-I. It must be in the...
-The car! We left it in the car.
141
00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:10,573
Okay, good,
because that would have been weird!
142
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,700
I worry things might become
more and more noticeable.
143
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,036
And if he kills himself
we’re gonna have to get a new dad
144
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:16,704
Jesus Christ, Summer!
145
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:24,003
-Dad. What’s this?
-Making a controller.
146
00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:27,715
This species of bionic space whale has
carbon wiring, great for smooth gameplay.
147
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:29,717
I’m not killing it, for the record.
148
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,678
I’m just replacing its esophagus
with a better one. For free.
149
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,556
It should thank me.
And it will, with its mind.
150
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,725
These things are telepathic, Beth,
they talk to you in dreams.
151
00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:41,771
Does your replicator thing make ice cream
from the Gloppy Drop system?
152
00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:44,982
Why would you want replicated
Gloppy Drop ice cream, poser?
153
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:48,736
Crazy thing, I went with Space Beth
to get some and we had such a great time
154
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:51,614
we forgot the ice cream. Crazy right?
155
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,492
-That’s a real question?
-Maybe?
156
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:55,534
Come here, hold the pup down.
157
00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:57,745
You’re talking about an infinite father.
158
00:08:57,828 --> 00:08:59,789
I’ve met myself out
there infinite times...
159
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:03,668
Infinite shit happens. Including,
as you put it, forgetting the ice cream.
160
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:07,505
-You’ve... forgotten the ice cream?
-Drill me for details when I’m drunker.
161
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,757
In the meantime,
don’t worry about what’s crazy.
162
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,761
-I’know, as the kids say, you do you.
-Thanks. Thank you so much, Dad.
163
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,096
One thing to keep in mind, though.
164
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:18,099
It’s not just your own ice cream
you’re forgetting. It’s your family’s.
165
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,643
If you forget it too much,
you start having to keep secrets.
166
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:24,063
-And you’re against secrets.
-Against? Hell no. Secrets are great.
167
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,067
For instance, I’ve had a pint of vanilla
Gloppy Drop in my fridge this whole time.
168
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:30,069
Take it. I’m just saying, lies pile up.
169
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:33,114
Like credit card debt. You retain
an advantage by staying liquid.
170
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:37,702
Gotcha. Well. I’d call this
a simple cash transaction.
171
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,079
Fun. And. Done.
172
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,463
Favorite Culkin?
173
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:50,464
-Kieran!
-Kieran!
174
00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:52,008
Favorite song by Britney?
175
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,009
-Work Bitch!
-Work Bitch!
176
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,093
Favorite hangover cure?
177
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:55,052
-Hair of the dog
-Hair of the dog
178
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,679
with a guilty pleasure like
Humans Weekly.
179
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,812
I told Dad.
I mean I didn’t have to. He knew.
180
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,523
I guess that’s one reason
you didn’t have to tell him.
181
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:11,152
What’d he say?
182
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:13,571
We kind of talked in code,
I think he said it’s fine
183
00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:16,157
until it makes us feel
indebted to our lessers.
184
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,658
That sounds like Dad.
185
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:21,037
Do... we... owe...
the family an explanation?
186
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,081
Do we have to spend our time together
figuring out how to please others?
187
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:28,127
I’m married.
We both are but I’m in our marriage.
188
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,129
It’s the defining difference between us.
189
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,506
Well there’s no rule book
that says you have to be.
190
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:39,180
What’s gonna happen? What is this?
Are we in love? With ourself?
191
00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:42,767
I mean, does that make us the most or
the least healthy woman in the universe?
192
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:46,729
Anybody ever tell you you’re
overly analytical? Which I do love?
193
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,857
-If that’s what you need to call it?
-I don’t need to call it anything.
194
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:56,072
-I would like to know... its shelf life.
-I might know a way to gather that data.
195
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:57,740
-The Holodeck!
-Motel Room!
196
00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:58,783
I like yours better.
197
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:12,171
Beth! My Beth! Well, not “my”
Beth, but... I finished! It’s done!
198
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:16,759
Kids do you know where your moms are?
Oh you’re busy with your GamePod,
199
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:19,053
don’t worry about it,
I’ll find those two somewhere
200
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:23,724
No!
No, dad, come play videogames with us.
201
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,143
Okay Dad here’s the infinite menu screen.
202
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,728
-I dunno.
-Here, here,
203
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,563
I’ll have the console choose a game!
204
00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:32,650
Maybe let’s skip this one?
205
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,110
Really? Why? Looks fun!
206
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:41,659
So we are a woman married to a man but
having a sexual affair with another woman!
207
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:45,663
-Very spicy.
-Very spicy, Jer. Good job.
208
00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:47,665
Looks pretty single player, kids?
209
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:58,092
Seriously you two?! What the hell
did you do in my holodeck?!
210
00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:02,096
Holy shit, you did a full
‘San Junipero’ in here?
211
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:05,599
My god, Beth, there’s masturbating
and then there’s masturbating.
212
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,685
-Dad stop, I’m sorry!
-You’d know, old man.
213
00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:10,271
Look, this isn’t my business
and by all means
214
00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:14,150
enjoy being sapphic horse girls together.
But you suck at doing it secretly.
215
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,610
-We all know.
-Including Jerry?!
216
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,779
No, Dad’s so in the dark
that he’s enjoying a video game
217
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,239
about being in an affair right now.
218
00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:22,158
If you guys are doing this,
you gotta tell him.
219
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,702
-Okay, little man, back off.
-Take it easy. They’re right.
220
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:27,288
Right about what, that we
have to be twice as considerate
221
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:30,666
and twice as repressed because
some dick split us in two?
222
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:34,044
This is the shit I left.
This isn’t. This is me.
223
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:38,132
This is the me that doesn’t tell you all
to fuck off. So allow me. Fuck off.
224
00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:40,718
She’ll tell her husband what she wants
when she feels like it.
225
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:42,720
And you can deal with it
or you can deal with me.
226
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:45,181
But you should know
I have all the Predator weapons.
227
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:47,808
-Works for me.
-That’s cool.
228
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,768
-Fair enough.
-I guess it’s time for ice cream.
229
00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:52,271
Come on, kids, you’re inhaling this stuff.
230
00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:56,066
Your Moms went to space,
did you even thank them for doing it?
231
00:12:57,693 --> 00:13:00,070
Thanks for... doing it, Moms.
232
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:01,322
Very selfless of you.
233
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:04,325
Eat your ice cream however you want.
Nothing good lasts forever.
234
00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:14,710
Okay, c’mon, it’s Thanksgiving,
the least we can do is speak English.
235
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,296
Jerry, I had sex with your wife.
236
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:20,758
Or, I’m your wife and had sex
with the clone you sleep with.
237
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,259
Your pick. We had sex. We loved it.
238
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,181
Beth Sanchez sure is something?
239
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:31,143
-I think I’ll ask her to prom.
-Jerry. For your own sake.
240
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,853
Stay away from Beth Sanchez.
241
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:36,357
-Worst case, she says “no”.
-No, Jerry. Worst case she says “yes”.
242
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:41,195
She’s too much woman for you. Maybe
she’d find your simple naïveté endearing
243
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:44,198
but she’s intense.
Sooner or later, she’d tear you apart.
244
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:48,160
I’d be lucky to be torn apart
by Beth Sanchez.
245
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,169
-What the fuck?!
-Dad’s a bug! Dad rolled into a bug!
246
00:13:57,253 --> 00:14:00,089
Forgot I installed that.
247
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,386
-Why does Jerry have a Pill Bug Protocol?
-It’s an emotional defense system.
248
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:06,720
I got drunk with Jerry one night
249
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,055
and he said it’s what he wanted
most in the world.
250
00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:10,474
Don’t blame me, I wanted tattoos
251
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:13,060
Anyway, he’s in perfect health in there
and he can unroll when he chooses to
252
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:16,063
but can also stay in metabolic
hibernation pretty much indefinitely.
253
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,065
It’s a cool power to have,
like if you have to fly coach
254
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,985
or if Summer asks you what you thought
of ‘Wonder Woman 1984
255
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,778
-How do we undo it?
-Only he can.
256
00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:25,739
That’s the point. It’s total safety.
Even I can’t reverse it.
257
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:29,410
If you try to pry him out and hit a nerve,
he’ll literally turn into a Shrek.
258
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,537
In his own sad way,
he’s taken control.
259
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:35,040
This is classic Jerry. He’d rather
be a bug than have a conversation.
260
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,418
Have you heard the way
you start conversations?
261
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:39,503
You ladies discuss responsibility
while I get stoned
262
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,921
and play video games with your kids.
263
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,766
-Fuck! More forest!
-Look around!
264
00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:57,730
Try heading North?
265
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,901
-Oh shit.
-Wait, what the fuck.
266
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,778
Maybe keep heading North?
267
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,954
-What the hell?!
-God, what happens in the shadows?
268
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:14,997
Jerry, sweetie?
269
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,709
-If you can hear me, please, unroll.
-He doesn’t want to.
270
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,794
It’s a little late to worry
about what he wants.
271
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:24,006
Jesus, Beth, don’t fall for this.
This isn’t love, it’s a tantrum.
272
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:27,968
Yeah but his tantrum is self destructive.
Yours is destructive.
273
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:30,471
Maybe that’s why I’m the one
that loves him. He worries.
274
00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:33,057
He wants to do right.
He’s ashamed when he fails.
275
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,476
Aren’t those things you love about me?
276
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:39,146
You want me to be like him? You want
me to propose? Threaten to kill myself?
277
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:43,150
No. I love you the way you are.
And I did it forever in a video game.
278
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,486
But in life, things go wrong.
Things stop working.
279
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:48,489
I like to fix those things,
and when I can’t, I’m pretty useless.
280
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:50,783
-Like my husband.
-I don’t get it.
281
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,826
You’re the house wife and
I’m the space lady
282
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,995
but you’re the one that chewed me up
and spit me out.
283
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,830
I don’t want to just forget about you.
284
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,376
Me neither. It’s a problem.
285
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,420
But we know someone
that owes us a solution.
286
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:07,007
Shit, we’re out of the forest!
We found a clearing!
287
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:08,842
Go check it out!
Go check out the clearing!
288
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,517
Vampires?! Oh, come on!
That’s not realistic!
289
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,186
Morty, it’s obviously set in a world
where vampires hunt in clearings.
290
00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:20,020
How did you...
291
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,897
I’m working with
the same information you are.
292
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,858
No more screen time until
your homework’s done, Dad.
293
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,528
-What did that mean?
-We refuse to care
294
00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:30,030
Damn. You really came of age
this Thanksgiving.
295
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:33,033
How old are we?
We’ve had a million Thanksgivings.
296
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:36,912
-Can I explain how irrational this is?
-Asked the guy that cloned his daughter.
297
00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:38,163
Will I ever live that down?
298
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:38,914
-No
-No
299
00:16:38,997 --> 00:16:40,499
You guys are having
me Eternal Sunshine
300
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,835
all the Multiplicity porn scenes
from your minds?
301
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:43,961
-Yep. Basically.
-Sounds right.
302
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,964
Meanwhile, everyone around you,
your father, your cuckhold husband,
303
00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:50,175
your jaded children will just happily
and silently bear the burden
304
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,219
because it’s more practical
for them than the truth
305
00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:54,221
and you don’t care becausei
t won’t be your problem.
306
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,890
-Solid repipe, Dad.
-It’s like he has a lifetime of experience
307
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:57,975
as a selfish ass.
308
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:04,231
When this fails and the two of you
fall in love again
309
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,066
and you attack me for taking part in this,
310
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,235
I’m gonna lie and say I tried
to talk you out of it for hours.
311
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:09,236
In truth, I don’t care.
312
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,740
-Three, two...
-For God’s sake, all of you, grow up.
313
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:13,949
-Jerry! You un rolled!
-What the hell?
314
00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:15,784
Plot twist, Deus Ex Husbanda.
315
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,078
Don’t lobotomize yourselves
for my comfort.
316
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:21,874
I may be a man but I’m also a baby
and babies don’t take responsibility
317
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:24,918
for other people’s suffering. I should
never have said I’d kill myself
318
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,253
if you left me. It’s not true.
319
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:30,090
All I’d do is pack my shit and cry while
I look for a job on Starbuck’s wifi.
320
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:31,842
And that’s what I’m gonna do.
321
00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:35,763
So the two of you can get
clone lesbian married by a robot
322
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,891
and finger yourselves on the moon while
laughing in Martian French
323
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,935
-about my weird little dick!
-Jerry, wait.
324
00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:51,278
-Jerry, don’t leave angry.
-Should I float out on a lotus leaf?
325
00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:55,032
I have to be twice as confident because
my wife cheated on me with herself?
326
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,910
-It’s not even cheating.
-You here to help? You suck.
327
00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:59,995
You don’t even know
which one is your real wife.
328
00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:02,122
If it’s me, have you been
cheating with a clone?
329
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,791
I’m not the clone but she has a point.
330
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:07,294
what a provocative conversation
it would’ve been great to have before
331
00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:09,963
the two of you, and I am counting two,
332
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:14,134
gave each other unfairly expert orgasms
while mocking my weird little dick!
333
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,720
Jerry, you’re the only one
who keeps saying weird and little.
334
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,972
Well you’ve both seen it!
And you’ve both seen each other
335
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,308
and now you want to tell me
all about it but it’s a little late.
336
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:25,938
My God. You’re not mad that it was
about you. You’re mad that it wasn’t.
337
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,065
He wanted to permit our love.
338
00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:31,026
Okay it’s not "Handmaid’s Tale"
to loop in your husband.
339
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:32,986
I agree for the record, we made a mistake.
340
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:37,324
because we should’ve noticed ourselves
losing control and gone to Sexmaster Jerry
341
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,911
and said oh pretty please,
Jerry, can I make out with myself?
342
00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:41,954
Yes you may.
343
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,958
See. Not so hot when it’s
above board. Homewreckers.
344
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:49,336
-So we won’t enjoy this?
-Well hold on hold on, this is weird.
345
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,004
Weird and permitted.
346
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,173
-Wait, you like this?
-Who cares what he likes.
347
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,008
-I do.
-I might like it
348
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:58,011
-and if she likes it I permit it.
-You little pervert.
349
00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:01,139
-You like a little pervert.
-I like humiliating a little pervert.
350
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:05,185
-I approve. Carry on.
-I’m freaked out by how hot this is.
351
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:08,313
-Am I permitted to do this?
-Until further notice.
352
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,899
-I love it.
-Then it’s permitted from now on.
353
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,319
Because you like whatever she likes.
Because you’re a worm.
354
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,029
I will allow that assessment.
355
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:18,782
-Pass the salt?
-Dammit.
356
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,201
-I allow this.
-Well then it’s required.
357
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:22,870
I approve the requirement.
358
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:24,329
-You get over there.
-Good idea
359
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,833
-Okay. Honey?
-I’m fine if you are.
360
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:31,336
-You’re never fine, shut up.
-Okay but... Okay.
361
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:35,048
-This is not how I pictured this but...
-I have zero complaints so far.
362
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:37,926
-Because I know what you want.
-I do not disagree with that.
363
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:41,221
-Can I make a pitch? What if we...
-Are you serious?
364
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:44,182
-Is this making fun of me?
-Well is that bad?
365
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,225
I’ll allow it.
366
00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:50,814
Jesus Christ, you need to fix
the portal gun, Rick.
367
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,941
Morty, you asking makes me
wanna do it less.
368
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,944
Okay, Thanksgiving!
Let’s talk about Thanksgiving!
369
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,363
Who’s thankful for what?
Go, Summer, you first.
370
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:02,993
I guess I’m thankful, for like, water?
371
00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:04,912
Perfect! Wonderful! Morty, what about you?
372
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:08,290
Fucking. Are you fucking
kidding me? Why? Why?
373
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:11,168
Discovery Channel!
Discovery Channel, why?!
374
00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:14,963
Okay. Just, eat your food.
Everyone eat the food.
375
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,089
Sorry, I'm... this...
376
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:21,303
Well, bye kids! I’ll keep an eye
out for my grandkid in space.
377
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:24,389
Your what? Oh! Right. Naruto.
378
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,266
Thanks for visiting, Space Beth.
379
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:34,983
Well, seems like we all learned
a little lesson this weekend!
380
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,195
-At least, I know I did!
-Me too, Jerry. Me too.
381
00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:24,825
Hello there, Jerry!
How can I help you today?
382
00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:28,036
Howdy! Just, just here to hang!
383
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:31,373
I’m sorry, sweetie.
You can’t come here by yourself.
384
00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:33,291
Why not? It’s just me in there!
385
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:38,171
Well, not that this is something you’d do,
but sometimes we have Jerries come here
386
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:40,382
and try to touch other Jerries.
387
00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:44,344
No, that’s, that’s not good.
Well, see you later!
388
00:21:51,476 --> 00:21:52,394
-Okay.
-Thank you!
34384
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