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1
00:00:02,435 --> 00:00:05,233
Look, all I'm saying
is you have more hair to wash,
2
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:07,305
you should pay a bigger share
of the water bill.
3
00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:10,272
Says the girl
with the 300-watt makeup mirror.
4
00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:11,740
- Something burning?
SABRINA: Unh!
5
00:00:11,911 --> 00:00:12,935
[SMOKE ALARM BEEPING]
6
00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:16,207
Smoke, flames.
7
00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:18,345
[SABRINA COUGHING]
8
00:00:18,551 --> 00:00:19,643
Great.
9
00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:22,045
Blackened cookies.
10
00:00:22,222 --> 00:00:25,419
Think Annie will believe me
when I tell her they're Cajun?
11
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,918
Why are you baking cookies
for your boss?
12
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:30,585
Well, I thought giving her
sacks of cash would be too obvious.
13
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,200
This week is my performance review
and every little bit of sucking up helps.
14
00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:37,393
Unfortunately, sacks of cash is exactly
what the electric company wants.
15
00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:39,265
This is what we each owe
for utilities.
16
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:42,670
Well, if I pay that, I won't even have
enough for my car payment,
17
00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:44,036
or my nails.
18
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:46,576
Not even one coat.
19
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:48,171
How pathetic am I?
20
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:50,339
I'm gonna have to put half
this on my credit cards.
21
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:53,810
Plastic. Yes, I'm saved.
22
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,251
No, all mine are maxed out.
23
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:59,586
So? There are like five applications
for new ones in today's mail.
24
00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:01,852
Of course, that is good.
25
00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:03,825
- This is America.
- Exactly.
26
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:08,832
Life, liberty, and the pursuit
of the perfect little black dress.
27
00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:16,199
Ooh.
I think I put one too many eggs in.
28
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:20,336
Whoa.
29
00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:23,505
I guess that answers
the whole chicken-or-the-egg question.
30
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,187
Someone looks pretty spiffy today.
And I don't just mean me.
31
00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:07,485
I'm meeting Aaron after work.
32
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:09,821
It's our first official date
and I want to look perfect.
33
00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:11,020
Oh, is that a hole?
34
00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:13,165
- Oh, no, just lace.
- Oh, for the record?
35
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,392
The way to a man's heart
is not through his stomach.
36
00:02:15,568 --> 00:02:17,092
- Here, I'll prove it.
- Hey, hands off.
37
00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:20,865
Those are a shameless bribe for Annie,
along with the mocha almond coffee.
38
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,769
Hello? Who made this coffee?
39
00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:25,570
- I did.
ANNIE: It's disgusting.
40
00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:27,975
You know
I don't like anything sweet.
41
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,442
Except for the occasional
chocolate-chip cookie.
42
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:33,051
Spellman, we've got work to do.
43
00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:35,380
And by we, I mean you.
I need these pages proofed.
44
00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:38,220
Hey, this is your article.
45
00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:40,716
You must have a lot of faith in me.
I'm flattered.
46
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,361
No, don't be. You're all I've got.
47
00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:43,894
The temp they sent over
is dyslexic.
48
00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:45,894
Well, me and my red pen
will get all over this.
49
00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:47,657
Not that I'm expecting
a lot of mistakes.
50
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,597
I'm expecting a lot of, you know,
check pluses
51
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:52,567
and "very goods" and "good jobs"
and "very funnys."
52
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,969
The article's about starvation
in sub-Saharan Africa.
53
00:02:55,141 --> 00:02:57,473
In your capable hands,
I'm sure it's hilarious.
54
00:02:58,711 --> 00:02:59,735
I'll get started.
55
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,881
What? That sentence is perfect.
56
00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:06,746
Except that it ends in a preposition.
57
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,280
Which Shakespeare did all the time.
58
00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:13,289
So I'll just turn this question mark
into a happy face.
59
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:15,324
You do realize that
for your review tomorrow,
60
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:18,931
Jonathan has finally consented
to letting me decide your fate?
61
00:03:19,098 --> 00:03:21,726
And it's a good thing
we get along so well or I'd be worried.
62
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:23,659
This has to be perfect.
63
00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,705
Annie, apropos of nothing,
care for a cookie?
64
00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:29,769
Oh, Leonard, that's so sweet of you.
65
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,843
A little sucking up
wouldn't kill you, Spellman.
66
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,407
Okay, are you sure
this is how you spell Madagascar?
67
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,576
I'm sure, Merriam-Webster is sure,
68
00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:42,516
the ambassador to Madagascar
is sure.
69
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:45,249
I'm sorry, I just can't afford
to make even one mistake.
70
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,689
I mean, am I just paranoid
or is Annie out to get me?
71
00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:51,193
Oh, she's definitely out to get you.
The rest of us talk about it all the time.
72
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:53,832
Oh, well that explains the pointing
and whispers.
73
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,968
Sure, believe whatever you want.
74
00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:59,002
Okay, well, after tomorrow,
Annie is gonna be my biggest fan.
75
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,766
Good. Does that mean we're done
and we can get something to eat?
76
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,143
Eat, dinner, Aaron. Oh, no.
77
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,175
Oh, so much for tonight
being perfect.
78
00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:08,371
Oh, late for your first date, huh?
79
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,209
Could that be
your subconscious calling out
80
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:12,817
for a steaming hot bowl
of Leonard stew?
81
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,113
No, but I think
I did just hear it scream.
82
00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,312
Oh, hey, Aaron.
83
00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:18,389
Yeah, I'm so sorry. I am on my way.
84
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:19,923
Actually, I'm in the parking lot.
85
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,288
Oh, late and lying.
This relationship is doomed.
86
00:04:22,695 --> 00:04:24,287
Uh, no, that's just the valet.
87
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:27,558
Uh, thank you for your input, sir.
Now please just park the car.
88
00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:29,201
Okay, I'll be right there.
89
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:32,031
- Bye, Leonard.
- Bye, Leonard.
90
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,229
Thanks for staying late.
91
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:34,771
Thanks for helping me out.
92
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,533
Thanks for staying late
and helping out.
93
00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:38,074
Hey, any time.
94
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,243
She so wants me.
95
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:44,707
Hi.
96
00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,010
Oh.
97
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:48,517
Hi. I, um, didn't see you come in.
98
00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:50,519
Oh, then you missed my pirouette
by the dessert cart.
99
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:52,317
- Ha-ha-ha.
- I'm so sorry, I'm late.
100
00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:54,016
Oh, don't worry about it.
101
00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:55,626
You look really beautiful.
102
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:56,989
Thanks, you too.
103
00:04:57,163 --> 00:04:59,324
Well, or whatever
the male equivalent is. Ha, ha.
104
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,694
So, um, you must be starving.
105
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:04,063
No, I ordered an artichoke
for us to share.
106
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,296
And it was delicious. Ha, ha.
107
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,831
But not to worry,
I've ordered us another one.
108
00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:11,033
Oh, perfect. I love artichokes.
109
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:12,973
You know,
totally underrated vegetable.
110
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,443
I mean, it grows its own wrapper.
111
00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:16,707
Leaves conveniently shaped
for dipping.
112
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,817
And really hard to hold on to.
I'm sorry.
113
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,009
Oh, don't worry about it.
114
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:23,622
My fault for not putting down a napkin,
or wearing rubber pants.
115
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:26,588
I think I'm just really nervous.
I wanted our first date to be perfect.
116
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:28,158
And here I am, you know,
117
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:32,458
late and throwing food
all over the restaurant.
118
00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:35,529
- It's okay. Five-second rule.
- Ahem.
119
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,128
You know, um,
it would be okay if you said something.
120
00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:39,669
In fact, it would be helpful.
121
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,932
Are you kidding?
I'm enjoying the performance.
122
00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:43,598
Then you should stay
for the late show.
123
00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:44,970
Not that I'm implying anything.
124
00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:46,873
Not that I'm not implying anything.
I just...
125
00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:48,911
Please say something.
126
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,914
So seen any good movies?
127
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,483
Great, another credit card activated
and ready to go.
128
00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:01,149
Plus, it came with 10,000 miles
on Icelandic Air.
129
00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:02,589
This is so easy.
130
00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:05,731
You should've seen what I had to fill
out to get a Blockbuster membership.
131
00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:08,867
Why is it easier to get a credit card
than rent A Night at the Roxbury?
132
00:06:09,635 --> 00:06:12,229
Ooh, Sabrina's home. We should
clear out and give them privacy.
133
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:13,429
You're right.
134
00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:15,039
We don't want to be nosy
roommates.
135
00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:22,008
How sweet.
He's going in for the kiss.
136
00:06:22,181 --> 00:06:24,206
No, Sabrina, tilt to the left.
137
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,249
His left, his left.
138
00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:27,443
[BOTH]
Ooh!
139
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,451
That's gotta hurt.
140
00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:35,353
Sorry again. Are you sure
you don't wanna come in?
141
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:37,894
AARON: No, I think the cold air
will help stop the bleeding.
142
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,497
Good night.
143
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:41,991
Hey, Sabrina.
144
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,227
That was officially the worst date
of my entire life.
145
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,702
There is no way he's ever
gonna wanna go out with me again.
146
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:49,774
Then it's good he's the one
with the bloody nose.
147
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,509
No, and my day
was hardly any better.
148
00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:53,338
Let's just hope that
this is all the storm
149
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:55,879
before the calm of tomorrow's glowing
performance review.
150
00:06:56,048 --> 00:06:57,675
Before I forget, Leonard called.
151
00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,909
He thinks you might have misspelled
Madagascar.
152
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,110
[GRUNTS]
153
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:03,983
Another mistake brought to you
by the incompetence at Sabrina.
154
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,954
I'm sorry, Sabrina.
155
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:07,592
Can we at least buy you something?
156
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,354
Thanks to you,
we've got a $100,000 limit.
157
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,391
No, I don't think anything
could possibly help.
158
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,167
Except maybe one of those little foot
massager thingies. That wouldn't hurt.
159
00:07:17,336 --> 00:07:19,702
Maybe, actually, one for each foot.
160
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,368
"Mistakes, goofs,
blunders, faux pas."
161
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:26,774
- Check the appendix.
- This doesn't have an appendix.
162
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,208
But you do.
163
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,946
The appendix
is nature's biggest mistake.
164
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,607
Well, since the dog.
165
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:34,551
This is relevant how?
166
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:35,982
Little known fact.
167
00:07:36,155 --> 00:07:40,023
If a witch gets rid of her appendix,
she'll be mistake free.
168
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:43,094
Hmm. Remove a minor non-vital organ
without anesthesia?
169
00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:45,992
After what I've been through today,
that doesn't sound so bad.
170
00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:47,928
Mistakes that I makecause damage and strife,
171
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:50,193
help me remove the causefrom my life.
172
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,629
Holy appendectomy.
Tell me you're Board Certified.
173
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,296
Yes, I'm Ouija board certified.
174
00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:00,670
Here you go. A little souvenir.
175
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,742
My appendix is in there?
176
00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:05,713
What am I supposed to do with this?
I mean, put it with my old retainer?
177
00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:07,944
I turned mine into a hacky sack.
178
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:10,519
That was useless,
I don't feel any different.
179
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:11,782
Nope, not in the slightest.
180
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,983
Well, you seem a little different.
181
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,492
Oh, pshaw. No different at all.
182
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,254
You know,
oh, no time for dilly-dallying.
183
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,422
Tick-tock, time for bed.
184
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:24,827
Perfect. I couldn't possibly sleep
in an unmade bed.
185
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:31,640
Okay, well,
see you in exactly eight hours.
186
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:41,148
Morning.
Isn't it a perfectly perfect day?
187
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:42,344
Yep.
188
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,456
Be sure to have a muffin or three.
189
00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:46,387
I decided to have it catered.
190
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:50,761
Breakfast,
it's everywhere I wanna be.
191
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:52,959
I'm paying off my student loans.
192
00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:56,124
Whoever said you can't put a price
on education didn't go to college.
193
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:58,031
I can't believe you guys
are being so dense.
194
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,569
You thought it was a good idea too.
195
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:01,206
Not at these interest rates.
196
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:06,277
Okay, first,
transfer this balance to this card.
197
00:09:06,445 --> 00:09:08,879
And transfer that balance
to that card.
198
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:10,675
Deduct 12 percent
from the principal,
199
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:15,617
and you can apply for two more cards
and a home equity loan.
200
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,985
Come on, print.
201
00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:21,786
Okay, I've given you toner,
I've given you paper.
202
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,485
I've given you everything
you asked for.
203
00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:26,791
- What more do you want from me?
- Uh, you mind if I take a look at that?
204
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,294
How'd you do that?
205
00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:31,868
Oh, I just tweaked the tolerance
on the third set of pass bars
206
00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:33,972
and upped the toner 33 percent. Duh!
207
00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:37,469
Oh, layout
for the skateboarding piece, huh?
208
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:40,043
Yep, and I'm on a little bit of a deadline
so if you could...
209
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:41,611
Something's missing.
210
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:44,443
Ooh, I think it's the action.
Okay, try leading with this one.
211
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,084
Pow!
Then you follow with these three.
212
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,345
Bam, bam, bam.
213
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:51,115
Yeah, you don't even need this one.
214
00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:53,416
You know what I don't need?
215
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,857
A perky little know-it-all
telling me how to do my job.
216
00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:57,052
Oh, nice layout, James.
217
00:09:57,229 --> 00:09:59,595
Hmm. You're welcome.
218
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,599
- Aaron, how wonderful to see you.
- Ha, ha.
219
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:06,829
Okay, a little Doris Day,
but I could get into it.
220
00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:09,031
I just came by to see
if you're free for lunch.
221
00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:12,605
Your timing is perfect.
We have exactly 60 minutes.
222
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:15,406
Oh, great. Okay, I read about
this terrific little Italian place...
223
00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:18,982
Uh, bup, bup, bup. Fifty-nine minutes.
Less talk, more walk.
224
00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:25,721
It sounds like work's been going
a lot better for you today.
225
00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:28,382
Hmm? Oh, it's been perfect.
226
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,189
Is something wrong?
227
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:32,729
No, it's...
228
00:10:32,898 --> 00:10:33,990
Well, yes.
229
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:37,897
It seems
that my side of the tablecloth
230
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:39,662
is hanging slightly lower
than your side.
231
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:42,467
And there's a stain.
232
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:43,902
Whoa!
233
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:46,977
Yeah, I know.
And this is a four star restaurant.
234
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:49,774
Anyway, I was about to tell you
about my perfect day.
235
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:51,541
I'm so looking forward
to this afternoon.
236
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:54,515
It's my performance review and I just
know that everything is gonna be...
237
00:10:54,687 --> 00:10:56,052
Excuse me.
238
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:57,714
Hi, hi there, hi.
239
00:10:57,890 --> 00:10:58,948
You mind if I?
240
00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:01,685
Okay,
first you pluck off the claws, like so.
241
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:06,457
Then you pinch here and here,
and voil�, heaven in little red pants.
242
00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:08,600
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
243
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:13,939
Wow, between you and I,
I had no idea you were such a stickler.
244
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,798
Well, between you and me, I'm not.
245
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:20,979
I'm sorry, but, uh, the pronoun
in that case is,
246
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:23,479
after all, the object of a preposition.
247
00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:25,748
What do you say we get the check?
248
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:27,516
Well, I don't understand the need.
249
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,814
I kept a running total
of everything we had in my head.
250
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:31,047
Um, you had an ice tea...
251
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:36,622
Okay, do not say,
"tick-tock, tick-tock, people," again.
252
00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:37,820
I beg you.
253
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:40,659
I'm sorry, this staff meeting was
supposed to start two minutes ago.
254
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,425
My watch is set
to Greenwich Mean Time.
255
00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:44,831
Yeah, well,
mine is set to Annie mean time.
256
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:46,335
- Where's Leonard?
- Here you go.
257
00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:47,972
Proofs for next week's issue.
258
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:50,836
Got any changes? Should have
made them this morning. Ha, ha.
259
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:52,910
Aw, shoot,
they spelled my name wrong.
260
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:54,774
Someone changed
the title of my article.
261
00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:57,313
Uh, it was a little wordy.
This has pith.
262
00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:59,314
Somebody re-cropped all my photos.
263
00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:01,646
- Guilty.
- Spellman, what were you thinking?
264
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:04,688
I asked you to proof my article,
you changed the entire thing.
265
00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:06,552
But only in the interest
of good journalism.
266
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,784
Now it's perfect.
267
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:08,984
ANNIE:
Don't you get it?
268
00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:11,288
You changed titles,
you altered the layout.
269
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:14,331
You rewrote your boss?
What were you thinking?
270
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,365
Well, I was thinking in your case,
271
00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:18,298
that your third paragraph
should be your lead,
272
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,564
and when you read it,
you'll see I was right.
273
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,265
Oh, well, here's a lead for you,
you're fired.
274
00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:27,606
Fired?
Well, now, that is not very perfect.
275
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,853
You heard me, Spellman,
you're fired.
276
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:37,147
Effective immediately.
277
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,416
But I don't understand.
I mean, why would you fire me?
278
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,720
I am error free. I am without flaws.
I don't even have any cavities.
279
00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:45,093
Look, Annie, I love this job,
280
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,095
and I am just trying
to be the best employee
281
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,927
I or anybody in the history
of employees...
282
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:50,125
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
283
00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:52,862
- Sabrina here.
- Hey, Sabrina, it's Aaron.
284
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:55,370
Oh, hi, I don't mean
to imply that your timing isn't perfect
285
00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:57,304
but, um, I'm in the middle
of a slight crisis.
286
00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:59,535
- Could I call you back?
- You know what? No need.
287
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,545
Um, I was just calling
to say that, uh...
288
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,808
I think we should cool things
down a bit.
289
00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:07,282
You know,
maybe take a break from each other.
290
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,353
Take a break?
From what? We just started.
291
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:12,150
If this is about the artichoke incident,
I swear I've changed.
292
00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:15,760
Don't worry, that's perfectly clear.
293
00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:18,089
I'll see you around, Sabrina.
294
00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:20,522
Ugh.
295
00:13:20,699 --> 00:13:22,963
How could everything go so wrong
when I am so right?
296
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,501
I might have been a little ambiguous.
I want you out.
297
00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:28,299
Okay, there's that preposition
at the end of a sentence again.
298
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,066
All right, I'm going.
299
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:33,536
Sabrina, wait. You've got to help us.
300
00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:35,543
I'm sorry, but you
and your new karaoke machine
301
00:13:35,714 --> 00:13:37,807
are just gonna have to butcher
Celine Dion without me.
302
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,974
I figured out there's no way
we can even come close
303
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,211
to the minimum payments
on all of these credit cards.
304
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:44,117
And they are not giving us
any more credit.
305
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,918
They say that we have
no visible means of support.
306
00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:49,356
Which at first I thought
was a huge compliment.
307
00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:51,018
And even if we stop spending today,
308
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:53,028
we'll be in our 50s
before it's all paid off.
309
00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:55,326
I'm sorry,
but I have bigger fish to fry.
310
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,065
Ooh, and that giant fish fryer
might come in quite handy.
311
00:13:58,237 --> 00:13:59,829
Sabrina, you have to help us.
312
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,803
You're the one who led us down
this path of debt and despair.
313
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,770
And here I was feeling guilty
about forging your name.
314
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:09,506
I'm sorry, but I thought
it was a perfectly perfect idea.
315
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:11,443
I want my appendix back.
316
00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:14,415
This spell has cost me my job,
my friends' financial future,
317
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:18,648
a fabulous guy, ooh,
but my hair's never looked better.
318
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:21,019
Well, I can't help you
with the appendix.
319
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,888
I put it down the garbage disposal.
320
00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:24,359
It's sleeping with the eggshells.
321
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,554
What?
322
00:14:25,731 --> 00:14:27,528
Never put eggshells down
the garbage disposal.
323
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,634
There's gotta be some way
to undo this spell.
324
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,895
You know,
being perfect is perfectly awful.
325
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,303
Salem, you've been around
for hundreds of years.
326
00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:36,100
You've gotta know a way
to reverse this.
327
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:38,266
Well, I might be able to pull
some strings
328
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:39,843
and get you into Mistake School.
329
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:41,775
- Mistake School?
- Yeah.
330
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:44,313
It's a school for people
having trouble with mistakes.
331
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,246
Ooh, sounds perfect.
332
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:52,556
INSTRUCTOR: Okay, people,
we've been over this before.
333
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:58,493
Once again from the top,
the comb-over, always a mistake.
334
00:14:58,864 --> 00:15:00,695
Thinking that it's gonna clear up
on its own.
335
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:03,801
Excuse me, I'm Sabrina Spellman
and I misplaced my appendix.
336
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:05,800
Consequently I've lost my job
and my boyfriend.
337
00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:08,940
So really I just need to learn
mistakes again and, uh, then I can go.
338
00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:10,837
You lost your boyfriend
and your job?
339
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:13,069
Sounds like you already know
how to make mistakes.
340
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:16,510
Uh, it's called irony. Ha, ha.
Okay, just tell me what I need to do.
341
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:18,549
Start with a review of your mistakes.
342
00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:20,810
One moment, sir.
Why is her case up?
343
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:24,217
I've been here since 1876
for a mistake I didn't even make.
344
00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:27,023
General Custer.
345
00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:30,320
Whole troop wiped out
by a handful of Indians. Ugh.
346
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:31,929
Whew, that was a big mistake.
347
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:33,359
Yeah.
348
00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:34,726
Hey, who took my pencil?
349
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,629
I'm telling you, they ambushed us.
350
00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:39,327
My horse was lame.
The sun was in my eyes.
351
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,167
I swear, I sell that screenplay
I am so out of here.
352
00:15:42,341 --> 00:15:46,710
Okay, Sabrina Spellman,
let's take a look at your mistakes.
353
00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:52,745
Those are all my mistakes?
I'm not even that old.
354
00:15:52,918 --> 00:15:54,909
This is just the A's.
355
00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:58,315
And now we enter
the junior high years.
356
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,621
So obviously you can get a sunburn
on a cloudy day.
357
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,323
Oh, everybody was obsessed
with Madonna that year.
358
00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:07,965
And people said I looked hot.
359
00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:13,171
Well, that's a spell gone awry.
360
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:16,405
Another spell gone awry.
361
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,638
Gone awry.
362
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:23,608
Awry, but for the record,
his head eventually did grow back.
363
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:27,718
What? That sentence is perfect.
364
00:16:27,886 --> 00:16:29,513
Except that it ends in a preposition.
365
00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:31,622
Mouthy little gal, ain't she?
366
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,323
Two words. Sitting Bull.
367
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:37,462
All right, point taken.
I shouldn't have corrected my boss.
368
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:39,722
Let's go to a little later
that same day.
369
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:43,133
All right, all right.
370
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:45,395
I admit it, I make mistakes.
371
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:49,769
I'm the worst person, witch, employee,
roommate, girlfriend,
372
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:51,409
artichoke eater in the world.
373
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:52,805
You forgot student.
374
00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:54,468
You're just not getting it, are you?
375
00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:58,482
SABRINA:
Hey, that's me.
376
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,743
I am a determined little thing,
and cute.
377
00:17:00,919 --> 00:17:02,580
You fell on your keister 1,100 times
378
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,155
before you finally walked
across that room.
379
00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:07,383
Hey, now that is just being unfair.
380
00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:09,527
Okay, I'm a baby.
That's what babies do.
381
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,390
That's how they learn to walk.
382
00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:12,791
[BELL RINGING]
383
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,489
Oh, I get it.
384
00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:16,600
Mistakes are important
because we learn from them.
385
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,566
So instead of wishing
I never made any,
386
00:17:18,737 --> 00:17:20,796
I should just embrace
what they teach me and move on.
387
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:22,133
Exactly.
388
00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:24,935
And you couldn't have given me
this platitude two hours ago?
389
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,470
There you go. Congratulations.
390
00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:29,477
You are completely fallible,
error-prone,
391
00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:33,049
and will definitely make many, many
mistakes during your lifetime.
392
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,209
Thanks. I can't wait to get started.
393
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,855
So does this take effect right...?
394
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:40,051
I guess so.
395
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:44,329
Okay, I'm sorry if I contributed
to this problem.
396
00:17:44,496 --> 00:17:46,327
I'm sorry if I actually made it worse.
397
00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:49,467
And I'm sorry that I wasn't espousing
fiscal responsibility and sage advice,
398
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,364
but I now know exactly
what we have to do.
399
00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:53,937
- What?
- This.
400
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:55,698
[ROXIE GASPS]
401
00:17:57,476 --> 00:18:00,172
- There.
- One of those was my driver's license.
402
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:03,075
Oh, my mistake.
403
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,945
I just want to say that I'm really sorry
if I caused everyone grief.
404
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:10,212
I was so afraid of making a mistake
that I stepped in a couple of big ones.
405
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:11,651
Oh, no kidding. Heh.
406
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,018
I'm probably gonna regret this,
407
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:15,592
and it's not gonna help
my reputation for being a softy
408
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:19,754
but I am willing
to give you one last chance.
409
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,298
Oh, woo-hoo. Thank you so much.
410
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:24,129
Oh, uh,
one last chance starting now?
411
00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:25,864
- Proof this.
- Will do.
412
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,734
And don't clog the margins
with your little happy faces.
413
00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:29,931
Won't do.
414
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,100
And don't flag anything except typos.
415
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,302
Nope, no flags, no happy faces,
416
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,449
unless it's my happy face
because I'm so happy to be back.
417
00:18:37,983 --> 00:18:40,474
Never mind. I need this done now
and I need it done right.
418
00:18:40,652 --> 00:18:43,086
I'm gonna give it to Esme.
Her English is really improving.
419
00:18:43,522 --> 00:18:46,389
Well, okay, you're the boss.
Whatever you want is fine.
420
00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:49,118
It gives me a chance to get started
on the article I wanna write.
421
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:50,488
Don't waste your time.
422
00:18:50,662 --> 00:18:53,130
Oh, no, it's not a waste.
I'm actually really excited about it.
423
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:56,096
- Let me pitch it to you real quick.
- No, I mean, don't waste my time.
424
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:57,860
The last thing I need to do
is slog my way
425
00:18:58,036 --> 00:19:00,004
through another tedious
Spellman hack piece.
426
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:01,700
Okay, maybe later.
427
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:03,933
No, wait. Uh, wait a minute.
428
00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:06,009
Did you just call me a hack?
429
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:08,146
Hmm, let me think. Yes, I did.
430
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,038
Okay. No, not okay.
431
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:11,239
Not okay at all.
432
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,281
I beg your pardon?
433
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:15,977
Look, I admit it,
I might make the occasional mistake,
434
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,851
but the biggest mistake I made was not
standing up to you months ago.
435
00:19:19,391 --> 00:19:20,415
I'm not a hack.
436
00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:23,527
I'm a really good writer and I bust
my butt day in and day out for you.
437
00:19:23,695 --> 00:19:25,560
I do not deserve to be treated
like this, ever.
438
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,028
You go, girl.
439
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:33,533
I mean, uh, you, Sabrina girl, go home
and think about what you just said.
440
00:19:33,705 --> 00:19:35,366
Oh, I don't have to think about it.
441
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:38,476
I know what I just said
and I stand by it. I quit.
442
00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:40,373
Oh, so you're just gonna walk
out of here?
443
00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:43,014
Do you know how difficult it is
to find a job in journalism?
444
00:19:44,049 --> 00:19:45,880
You're making a huge mistake.
445
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:47,746
You know, I don't think so.
446
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,081
But if I am, I'll learn.
447
00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:58,495
Someday I'd like to be the kind of girl
who makes a graceful exit.
448
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,131
AARON:
I certainly hope not.
449
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:03,332
Hi. What are you doing here?
450
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:06,266
I just wanted to apologize
for being such a schmuck.
451
00:20:06,438 --> 00:20:09,168
I mean, what kind of guy breaks up
with a girl over the phone?
452
00:20:09,341 --> 00:20:11,605
You're not gonna do it now
in person, are you?
453
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,204
No.
454
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:17,644
Look, I realized you were just trying
to make everything perfect.
455
00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:19,681
And while that's sweet
and flattering,
456
00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:22,149
Sabrina, I love it when you're wrestling
with vegetables
457
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:23,481
and always showing up late.
458
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,217
Well, actually,
that last part is a little bit annoying,
459
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:30,521
but the point is,
I don't want somebody who's perfect.
460
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,493
Well, then it's your lucky day.
461
00:20:40,472 --> 00:20:42,667
Absolutely perfect.
462
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:51,513
That's fantastic. I'll see you
first thing tomorrow morning.
463
00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:52,707
Bye.
464
00:20:53,118 --> 00:20:56,110
Woo-hoo. Salem, I just booked
my second freelance assignment.
465
00:20:56,288 --> 00:20:58,756
- Apparently I'm quite in demand.
- Yeah, that's great.
466
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,323
Do you know where the tape is?
467
00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:02,289
Yeah, here you go.
468
00:21:02,961 --> 00:21:05,452
Wait a second. What is this for?
469
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:07,428
Why do you always go there?
470
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:11,000
It's a roll of tape.
Not C-4 plastic explosives.
471
00:21:11,169 --> 00:21:13,865
Maybe I got you something
and I'd like to give it a decent wrapping
472
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:16,837
instead of sticking it
in some cheesy gift-bag.
473
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:19,136
All right. Jeez, I'm sorry.
474
00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:21,506
I guess I just thought that maybe
you'd try to use this
475
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,513
to tape these up and use them?
476
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:25,707
What?
477
00:21:25,884 --> 00:21:28,512
I've never seen those credit cards
before in my life.
38214
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