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1
00:00:05,772 --> 00:00:12,007
Just so you know, Morgan, Roxie
and the cat drank out of that carton.
2
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:16,342
Ick. Well, that explains the lipstick,
the crumbs and the fur.
3
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:17,847
So, Louisa, what's going on?
4
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,714
I mean, I haven't heard from you
since the 1-cent frame sale.
5
00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:23,253
The phone works both ways.
6
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,323
Anyhoo, I wanted to warn you
7
00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:29,053
that since so little magic
has been used around here lately,
8
00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:33,131
the house is about to undergo
a magical systems check.
9
00:00:33,299 --> 00:00:36,029
What? I can't have magic
shooting off willy-nilly.
10
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,261
Mortals live here,
and they don't know I'm a witch.
11
00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:41,202
Oh, that's going to be tricky.
12
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,535
Lots of luck to you.
13
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,234
No, wait, you can't go.
I need to know...
14
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:48,779
- Who are you talking to?
- Uh, to you, heh, obviously.
15
00:00:48,948 --> 00:00:51,849
- Good morning.
- Friendly but unconvincing.
16
00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,152
- I know I heard voices.
- Voices?
17
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:55,981
Roxie, really,
the things you come up with.
18
00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:57,180
[DINGS]
19
00:00:57,357 --> 00:01:00,292
- What in the heck is that?
- I'm sterilizing the mail.
20
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:03,793
I mean, you never know where
the mailman's hands have been.
21
00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:05,191
Juice?
22
00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:47,230
What is taking them so long?
Roxie, Morgan, come on!
23
00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:50,808
I gotta keep them out until this
whole magical systems check is over.
24
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:53,275
You can't keep them
at the diner forever.
25
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:54,913
What's your plan
if something happens
26
00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:57,845
while Laverne and Shirley
are actually in the house?
27
00:01:58,017 --> 00:02:00,008
Let's just say I'll be making good use
of the phrase
28
00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:01,380
"It must have been the cat."
29
00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:04,455
- Qu�?
- Ladies, while I'm still young!
30
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,717
I wanna get to the diner
before the soup hardens.
31
00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:09,953
What's the hurry?
I've only got one eye lined.
32
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,722
Yeah, we just had breakfast
two hours ago.
33
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,126
The juice might have gone bad.
34
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:16,268
Oh, well, uh, nothing soothes
the stomach like chili cheese fries.
35
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:17,869
Okay, let's get a move on.
36
00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:21,438
Yep, let's go or the day will be over
before we even get out the door.
37
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:26,668
So then she says,
"I left my harp in Sam Clam's disco."
38
00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:29,246
- Get it?
- Got it, and I'm gone.
39
00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:31,781
- I got a million of them.
- And we've heard every one.
40
00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:33,213
- See you.
- Where are you going?
41
00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:35,877
- You're going, uh, shopping, right?
- No, home.
42
00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,079
Uh, well, that's cool.
43
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:40,522
You know, I just assumed, you know,
with the stores open, having big sales
44
00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:42,661
and you in last season's jeans,
maybe...
45
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,296
I'll be at the mall. Don't wait up.
46
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:47,766
Well, now that Morgan's gone
over the wall, I'm taking off too.
47
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:50,061
I've got an appointment.
I wanna stop by the house.
48
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:52,067
Wait, when did you two
become such homebodies?
49
00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:55,332
Okay, so this appointment, um,
sounds pretty mysterious.
50
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,408
- It's no big deal.
- Well, it is to me.
51
00:02:57,577 --> 00:03:00,239
Sit. Tell. Order something.
52
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:02,540
You're not leaving here
until you tell me all about it.
53
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:05,275
Sabrina, it's kind of personal.
54
00:03:05,451 --> 00:03:07,783
So personal
you can't tell your best friend?
55
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:09,421
Okay, but it's a little embarrassing.
56
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,784
You've gotta promise
not to tell anyone.
57
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,221
- Promise.
- I'm seeing a doctor.
58
00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:17,961
- That's great. Congratulations.
- No, I'm not dating him.
59
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:21,897
I'm seeing a doctor about possibly
having a tattoo removed.
60
00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:24,628
- Wow, I didn't know you had a tattoo.
- That's the secret part.
61
00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:27,272
I got it when I was in high school
and have regretted it since.
62
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,203
I just want it gone.
63
00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:32,870
Uh, does it have some long,
seedy story behind it?
64
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:36,345
I wish, heh. It says...
65
00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:38,347
This is just between us, right?
66
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,916
You know when you're young
and get obsessed with a band?
67
00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:44,648
Oh, totally. I had a wall
full of Nine Inch Nails posters.
68
00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:46,951
Which, ironically,
I put up with thumbtacks.
69
00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:49,686
So, what band left
a "permanent" impression on you?
70
00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:51,523
Hanson.
71
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:54,360
My tattoo says "I heart Hanson."
72
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:58,701
- I'm guessing you lost a bet.
- Mm, if only that were true.
73
00:03:58,871 --> 00:04:01,738
Great, now I'm late and I'm not gonna
have a chance to go home.
74
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,433
Excellent...
Decision to have that tattoo removed.
75
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:08,638
Yeah, so when you're at the doctor's,
um, take your time.
76
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:09,873
Get to know him.
77
00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:11,949
You know,
maybe you'll get that date after all.
78
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:20,787
Okay, I've successfully
capped the geyser of Sparkle Farkle
79
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,360
and managed to put out the fire
in the number-six cauldron.
80
00:04:23,529 --> 00:04:26,089
- How are things going up here?
- All clear.
81
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,292
The armchair started to talk,
but I threatened to shred its dust ruffle.
82
00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:32,295
Good cat. So how are our girls?
83
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:33,996
Back, but not to worry.
84
00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:36,471
They're in the kitchen,
still none the wiser.
85
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,076
Perfect.
86
00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:39,836
[THUNDER CRASHING]
87
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:41,241
Not so perfect.
88
00:04:43,182 --> 00:04:44,581
Aah, stop.
89
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:47,242
No. Open.
90
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:52,416
Oh, good. No, stop, stop.
Close, close, close!
91
00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:54,526
Sabrina, we have a problem.
92
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:57,458
Uh, the cat did it. He's crazy.
I'm thinking of having him put down.
93
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,222
No, not Salem, Roxie.
94
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,196
Uh, fine,
then we'll have her put down too.
95
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:02,391
That's the problem.
96
00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:04,900
I think something
is seriously wrong with her.
97
00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:07,005
I just overheard her on the phone
to a doctor.
98
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:09,698
She's scheduling an appointment
to have something removed.
99
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:13,277
I think that she may be dying,
or worse.
100
00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:14,913
I'm really kind of busy right now.
101
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:17,641
I know,
and you're doing that all wrong.
102
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:21,184
This exercise is meant
for toning the thighs and the glutes.
103
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:24,346
I'm sure if there were anything wrong,
Roxie would've let us know.
104
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:25,957
No, I asked her about it,
105
00:05:26,125 --> 00:05:29,856
and all she said
was something about a MYOB.
106
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:32,190
- "Mind your own business"?
- Great.
107
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:35,857
Now you're shutting me out too.
You know, I am just worried about her.
108
00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:38,526
Look, Morgan, you have to trust me.
It's gonna be okay.
109
00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:40,935
There's nothing to worry about.
It's a simple procedure.
110
00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:44,804
Procedure? Oh, poor Roxie.
111
00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:48,845
I wish I'd been nicer to her.
What does she have, like six months?
112
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:52,974
No, no, no, it's gonna be fine, really.
It's just, she's having a tattoo removed.
113
00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:57,889
Oh, is that all? Oh, I am so relieved.
114
00:05:58,057 --> 00:06:01,322
- I could do this for hours.
- Really? Great.
115
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:03,186
Knock yourself out, ha, ha.
116
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,297
Hey, and don't repeat what I told you
about Roxie.
117
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,057
She's really kind of sensitive about it.
118
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:09,326
I promise.
You don't have to worry about me.
119
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:14,602
Come on, just let me see it, please?
Just a peek.
120
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,002
Get away from me.
121
00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:18,408
I can't believe you told her.
122
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:20,478
- But she promised.
- So did you.
123
00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:23,147
Well, I'm sorry. It wasn't malicious.
124
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,181
Look, I was just trying
to put her mind at ease.
125
00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:27,342
- She thought you were dying.
MORGAN: She's right.
126
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:28,919
And believe me, I'd wanna die too
127
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:31,386
if I had "I heart Hanson" on my butt.
Ha-ha-ha.
128
00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:33,516
You gave her details?
129
00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:36,184
Now, see, that's probably
where I crossed the line.
130
00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:38,860
The first time I ask you
to promise me something.
131
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:41,431
Thanks a lot, Sabrina.
I thought I could trust you.
132
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,332
Thanks a lot, Morgan.
I thought I could trust you.
133
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:46,768
I'm not exactly sure why.
134
00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:47,963
Roxie, I'm sorry.
135
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,166
I never should've told Morgan
about your tattoo.
136
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,436
I shouldn't be surprised
you couldn't keep my secrets.
137
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,876
The only secrets you're able to keep
are your own.
138
00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:57,607
What are you talking about?
I don't keep secrets from you.
139
00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,649
Give me a break.
Ever since I've known you,
140
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:02,652
I've always felt there was something
you were hiding from everyone.
141
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:05,484
You're always covering things up
and acting all cagey.
142
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,819
I can't believe this.
I am so not cagey.
143
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:09,723
Oh, please,
you're always being evasive
144
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:12,160
or darting out of the room
unexplained.
145
00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:14,162
Then you come up
with these weird, lame excuses
146
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:16,893
that couldn't possibly be true.
147
00:07:17,069 --> 00:07:18,696
Just changing the bag.
148
00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:21,567
That's right up there
with sterilizing the mail.
149
00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:24,710
Bottom line,
I just don't trust you anymore.
150
00:07:24,877 --> 00:07:25,901
[SABRINA SCOFFS]
151
00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:27,943
Hey, you try to come up
with a decent excuse
152
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:31,481
while you're wrestling an upright.
Stop it.
153
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:35,919
Trust is very important, Sabrina.
154
00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:38,648
Without it,
you can't run the really big cons.
155
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:42,386
Did I ever tell you about the Bible scam
I ran in Kansas City back in the '20s?
156
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:45,690
You don't know how horrible it feels
to have your best friend not trust you.
157
00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:47,230
Boo-hoo.
158
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,925
Talk to me when you have
to groom yourself with your tongue.
159
00:07:51,103 --> 00:07:53,936
- Ooh. What about that one?
- "Elixir of Trust.
160
00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:57,906
Whoever serves this tonic will instantly
gain the trust of whomever drinks it."
161
00:07:58,077 --> 00:07:59,635
I guarantee it.
162
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:02,610
Jeez, is there anyone who's not doing
an endorsement these days?
163
00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:07,552
You know,
I don't know if I should do this.
164
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,745
Well, with magic going off
left and right,
165
00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:11,719
I don't think you have a choice.
166
00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:14,416
Well, and 10 percent of the profits
goes to preserving the union.
167
00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:15,788
I'm sold.
168
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:21,432
Hey, Roxie, I made smoothies.
169
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:24,001
That certainly takes the sting
out of being betrayed.
170
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,401
Come on, it's my sweet, nutritious way
of apologizing.
171
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:28,870
Don't waste your breath.
172
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:32,135
There's no way
that I'm accepting your apology.
173
00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:41,144
Because you have nothing
to apologize for.
174
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:44,414
You're my best friend
in the whole wide world,
175
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:45,682
and I totally trust you.
176
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:48,656
If you say you had a good reason
for telling Morgan about my tattoo
177
00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:52,161
or slapping around the vacuum,
then I believe you.
178
00:08:52,331 --> 00:08:54,891
Wow, I gotta say,
Abe really knows his stuff.
179
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:56,796
Hi, Sabrina. Just wanted to check...
180
00:08:56,969 --> 00:08:58,994
SABRINA: Not now.
- Did that painting just talk?
181
00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:01,230
Yeah, it's one of those, uh,
you know, gag pictures,
182
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:02,738
like the fake flounder that sings.
183
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:05,901
Yeah, you should hear her belt out
"Do Ya Think I'm Sexy." Ha, ha.
184
00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:08,313
- That's cool.
- You bought that?
185
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:11,143
I mean,
you're okay with that explanation?
186
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:12,341
Of course.
187
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:15,419
I know you'd never, ever lie
or keep secrets from me.
188
00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:18,250
I just feel bad
that I keep so many secrets from you.
189
00:09:18,424 --> 00:09:21,587
Well, never, ever is a little...
You keep secrets from me?
190
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:23,319
Come on. I'll show you.
191
00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:29,634
Roxie, this place is so not you.
192
00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:31,360
That's why I've kept it a secret.
193
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,664
I know I'm always railing
against the beauty myth,
194
00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:37,002
but even the most eco-friendly,
post-feminist, vegan girl in the world
195
00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:38,200
wants pretty toes.
196
00:09:38,377 --> 00:09:41,244
Hey, that goes for us meat-eating,
paper-wasting girls too.
197
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,745
Thanks for sharing this with me.
198
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,349
If I can't trust you with my secrets,
who can I trust?
199
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:46,985
True, but let's not get carried away.
200
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:49,587
You know, there are some things
better left unsaid.
201
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:54,092
I miss my binkie.
202
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,454
Aah! Too much information.
203
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:57,858
[SINGS]
La-la-la, la-la-la
204
00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,395
[SNIFFING]
205
00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:01,726
Oh, you silly, silly witch,
206
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:04,369
leaving me with the Elixir of Trust.
207
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:06,698
If I had thumbs,
I'd be twirling my whiskers right now
208
00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:08,305
and laughing maniacally.
209
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,876
[IN QUIET VOICE]
Perfect. Ha-ha-ha.
210
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:15,013
[MORGAN HUMMING]
211
00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:22,085
Hmm, I feel like something
cold and fruity.
212
00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:24,518
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Meow. Meow.
213
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:27,352
Oh, hi, kitty. Oh, maybe a banana.
214
00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:29,858
[COUGHING]
215
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:33,060
Whatever you're hacking up,
take it outside.
216
00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:37,293
Oh, smoothies.
This should hit the spot.
217
00:10:40,339 --> 00:10:44,298
- Mm.
- Hey, Red, way to take a hint.
218
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:48,777
- How are you talking to me?
- Trust me, all cats talk.
219
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:51,212
- Would I lie to you?
- Oh, of course not.
220
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:54,444
- I trust you.
- Enough to do whatever I want?
221
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:56,383
- Of course.
- Excellent.
222
00:10:56,555 --> 00:10:59,285
Now twirl my whiskers
while I laugh maniacally.
223
00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:03,387
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
224
00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:06,224
ROXIE: Yes, I'm serious, and...
- No, no, just hang up. Hang up.
225
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:09,459
Look, you can't just call your boss
and quit out of the blue.
226
00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:11,535
You said if I wasn't
being creatively fulfilled...
227
00:11:11,704 --> 00:11:12,796
All right, Roxie, stop.
228
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,439
You can't entrust me
with your secrets
229
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:16,734
and ask me
to make life-altering decisions for you.
230
00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:21,278
I know, it's just that I have
such complete and total faith in you.
231
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,540
I know you'd never let any harm
come to me.
232
00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:25,513
Not knowingly,
but you're getting carried...
233
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,915
No! What are you doing?
234
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:31,022
See? I knew you'd never, ever
let anything bad happen to me.
235
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,852
Okay, you know what?
This is getting a little out of hand.
236
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,220
We gotta get you home before...
237
00:11:35,394 --> 00:11:38,227
- Catch me, Sabrina!
- Roxie!
238
00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:48,636
Oh, dang!
239
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:51,369
Oh, come on.
240
00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:54,345
Oh, so close.
241
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,306
I knew I could trust you.
242
00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:58,916
[GRUNTS THEN SIGHS]
243
00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:01,519
A friend's undying devotion
and I didn't even break a nail.
244
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:03,518
You'd think I'd feel all warm
and fuzzy inside.
245
00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:04,815
[TIRES SCREECH
AND HORNS HONK]
246
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:06,514
Roxie. Get out of the street!
247
00:12:07,426 --> 00:12:09,690
That bus came so close
to hitting my head,
248
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,853
it was almost spiritual.
249
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:14,966
Yeah, about as life-affirming
as when you were taunting that pit bull.
250
00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:18,001
All right, sit here
and count the floorboards...
251
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:20,900
It's fun... While I go beat the tar
out of an ex-president
252
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,371
and make sure the house
isn't inflicting itself on Morgan.
253
00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:25,271
Uh, what's going on here?
254
00:12:25,444 --> 00:12:28,709
Uh, nothing you need to furrow
your pretty little brow about.
255
00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:31,111
Just carry on
with whatever you were doing.
256
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:34,013
Salem, I can't believe
that you're talking,
257
00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:36,677
because it is totally freaking me out.
258
00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:39,347
Oh, all cats talk. Salem told me so.
259
00:12:40,025 --> 00:12:41,083
I bet he did.
260
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,921
Morgan, don't you have to use
the bathroom?
261
00:12:43,362 --> 00:12:45,660
- I don't think so.
- Salem.
262
00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,664
- You do.
- Now that you mention it...
263
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:52,497
Salem, I cannot believe
you fed her the trust elixir.
264
00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:55,299
I'm this close to turning you over
to creepy Jimmy down the street.
265
00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:57,339
He has firecrackers
and very little supervision.
266
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,671
Hey, you left the stuff out
on the counter.
267
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:03,372
Besides, how is this any different
than what you did to Roxie?
268
00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:06,211
Oh, it's totally different.
I did it to fix a friendship.
269
00:13:06,385 --> 00:13:08,080
You did it to get a free tummy rub.
270
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:09,721
As soon as I figure out the antidote,
271
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:11,948
you can say sayonara
to your little geisha with...
272
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:15,651
Wait a minute, did you say
I left it on the counter? Oh, man.
273
00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:18,194
Morgan, chop-chop!
274
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,889
These grapes
aren't gonna peel themselves.
275
00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:22,226
No. No more.
276
00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:25,859
- I told you to count the floorboards.
- Did it. One hundred and eleven.
277
00:13:26,038 --> 00:13:27,733
Yes, but how many of them
have knots?
278
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:31,741
One, two, three...
279
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:33,602
"Do not pour down drain.
280
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:35,679
May cause severe damage
to septic tank."
281
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:38,510
It's always a little scary
when it's bad for the sewage system.
282
00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:41,312
Oh, perfect. I'll just boil it away.
283
00:13:48,093 --> 00:13:49,151
Excellent.
284
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:52,889
- Now that that's done...
- Thirty-four, 35...
285
00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:56,125
All right, you and I have
an appointment with a musty book,
286
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:58,930
which, ironically, gets me
in more trouble than it gets me out of.
287
00:13:59,104 --> 00:14:00,332
Come on.
288
00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:09,909
- What in the?
- A pretty kitty is a happy kitty.
289
00:14:10,082 --> 00:14:11,572
This is part
of Cat-Appreciation Week.
290
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:12,774
[DOORBELL RINGS]
291
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:15,216
It comes right before
Selling-Them-on-eBay Week.
292
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,686
- What?
- Hi, I'm your neighbor.
293
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,259
Do these pants make me look fat?
294
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:24,521
Why are you asking me?
Oh, no, don't say it.
295
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,392
I just know I can trust you.
296
00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:29,090
- Oh, you said it.
- I trust her too.
297
00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:33,227
So do I.
I'm entrusting you with my life savings.
298
00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:34,702
Oh, no. Please go.
299
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,900
Please, I don't want your money, sir.
And those pants are very slimming, sir.
300
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:39,101
[BABY CRYING]
301
00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:42,304
There she is.
That's the woman you'll be living with.
302
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:44,915
I mean, who else
am I gonna trust them with?
303
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:47,211
Okay, could you hold down the fort?
I'll be right back.
304
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:50,355
And I think
she needs to be changed.
305
00:14:51,523 --> 00:14:53,718
Okay, how come
I didn't see that there?
306
00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:57,895
And who's playing with the lights?
307
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,898
- Hello.
- Hi. Hi.
308
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,558
If you're here
about the systems check,
309
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,570
let's just say "Now is a bad time"
is the understatement of the century.
310
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,605
I'm not here
about any systems check.
311
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:13,472
What's going on with my eyes?
And when did this print get smaller?
312
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:16,114
You're not gonna find the answer
to your problem in there.
313
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:19,012
- How do you know?
- Perhaps I should introduce myself.
314
00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:22,415
- I'm Blind Faith.
- Oh, I so don't like where this is going.
315
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:25,446
I don't suppose you're here
to help with my problem, hope, hope?
316
00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:27,524
No, I'm here to hand over the reins,
so to speak.
317
00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:30,025
Now that you've got all of Boston
worshipping at your feet,
318
00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:31,822
you're the new Blind Faith.
319
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,123
I don't wanna be Blind Faith.
320
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:35,290
I can never find sunglasses
that work with my face.
321
00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:38,868
And most importantly,
I just wanted Roxie to trust me.
322
00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:41,233
But you used magic
to make her trust you.
323
00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:44,638
That's not real trust, that's blind faith.
324
00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:46,141
Instead of arguing over semantics,
325
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,746
how about you tell me
how to get people to stop trusting me?
326
00:15:48,914 --> 00:15:51,178
I mean,
short of running for political office.
327
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:52,374
Mm, no clue.
328
00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:54,485
Here, you're going to need
my Seeing Eye dog.
329
00:15:54,653 --> 00:15:55,779
But that's a goat.
330
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:56,979
[GOAT BLEATS]
331
00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:58,748
Where are you going?
Don't disappear yet.
332
00:15:58,924 --> 00:16:01,757
I'm not going anywhere.
You're just losing your sight.
333
00:16:02,227 --> 00:16:03,592
That's better.
334
00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:07,254
Wow, ha, ha, this really is a goat.
Ha, ha.
335
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:11,400
- These look terrible on me, don't they?
- Hmm.
336
00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:15,665
- Is anybody there?
ALL [IN UNISON]: Hi, Sabrina.
337
00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:19,277
Okay, everybody listen up.
This is very important, okay?
338
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:22,471
Now, I need you all to trust me
when I say this:
339
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:23,808
Don't trust me.
340
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,882
I don't hear anybody leaving.
341
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:29,077
We know you're just
testing our faith.
342
00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:31,722
No, I'm not, really. Trust me.
343
00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:34,222
ALL [IN UNISON]:
We trust you, Sabrina.
344
00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:35,951
Okay, as long as we're clear on that.
345
00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:38,756
By the way, there's something
very strange going on in the kitchen.
346
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,455
Of course there is.
Everybody hang here.
347
00:16:40,632 --> 00:16:42,224
Goat, take me to the kitchen.
348
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:45,029
- Oh, wait, is my cat here?
- Nope.
349
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:47,729
Figures, the one time
he might actually be useful.
350
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:50,932
[MOANING]
351
00:16:51,276 --> 00:16:53,107
I understand
you have to soak your hip,
352
00:16:53,278 --> 00:16:55,644
but why do I need to be in here?
353
00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:59,215
Because this crummy tub
doesn't have any jets.
354
00:16:59,385 --> 00:17:00,852
Keep pedaling, Red.
355
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,189
[WATER SPLASHING
AND SALEM MOANING]
356
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:05,817
Whatever's going on in here,
357
00:17:05,991 --> 00:17:07,822
I'm warning you,
I'm armed with an attack goat.
358
00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:10,689
Don't worry, Sabrina,
everything's fine.
359
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,525
- I took care of it for you.
- Thanks, Louisa.
360
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:14,961
I thought maybe I'd come in here
361
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:17,864
and find some of the Horsemen of
the Apocalypse defrosting my freezer.
362
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,061
[LAUGHS]
363
00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:22,935
Nothing so dire.
Just a man with a summons.
364
00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:27,067
A summons? For me?
Why would I be getting a?
365
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:30,239
...a summons?
MAN: Order in the court.
366
00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:33,943
Your Honor, sir, I think this has all
been a big misunderstanding.
367
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,577
- Over here.
- Oh, sorry. Uh...
368
00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:41,323
If I'd been given any warning
about a magical systems check,
369
00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:43,791
I would have made sure
my roommates were out of the house.
370
00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:45,156
Do you swear to tell the truth,
371
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,059
the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth?
372
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,893
What? Oh, yeah. I mean I do.
373
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,662
Well, obviously you don't
or you wouldn't be here.
374
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,271
Is this about the trust thing
and not about the house thing?
375
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,464
It's hard to keep up.
376
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:59,372
Why else would you be standing
before Naked Truth?
377
00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:01,072
No good reason comes to mind,
378
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:04,443
and I don't suppose the "Naked" part
is just a metaphor?
379
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:08,746
Nope, I'm completely open
and honest about everything.
380
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:13,722
I have absolutely nothing to hide,
unlike some people.
381
00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:15,792
Well, of course I have things to hide.
382
00:18:15,961 --> 00:18:18,429
Of course I have to tell lies.
I live with mortals.
383
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:21,589
And I gotta tell you, you're not helping
the trust factor, Your Nakedness.
384
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:25,328
Trust is, as I like to say,
a two-way street.
385
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:29,065
What reason does your friend Roxie
have to really trust you?
386
00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:32,210
In my defense,
she really, really trusts me now.
387
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:35,977
I bet you're giving me a look, huh?
388
00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:38,616
All right, I guess she doesn't have
a reason to trust me.
389
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:41,150
I guess she's always willing
to share her secrets with me,
390
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,811
but I have gone the extra mile
not to share mine with her.
391
00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:46,253
Then I think you know
what you have to do.
392
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:50,293
There's gotta be another way.
I mean, I can't just tell her I'm...
393
00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:53,026
- a witch.
394
00:18:53,398 --> 00:18:54,524
Hello?
395
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,895
- Anybody?
- Hey, Sabrina.
396
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:58,900
- Am I in the kitchen?
- Yes, you are.
397
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:02,370
Do we have any Wasa crackers?
Little Sabrina is teething.
398
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:04,270
[DINGS]
399
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:05,910
Are you still sterilizing the mail?
400
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:09,946
Uh, no, this is the warranty.
Yeah. It's good to keep it close.
401
00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:13,278
- Okay.
- No, wait, Roxie. That's a lie.
402
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:15,579
Actually, most of the things
I tell you are lies.
403
00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:16,812
But you have to understand,
404
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,150
it's because I didn't feel
like I have any other choice.
405
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:23,920
The only way I can tell you my secret
is if I completely trust you.
406
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:25,529
Don't you trust me?
407
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:28,165
Yeah, I do.
408
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,933
Roxie, I'm a witch.
409
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:33,801
A witch?
410
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:38,466
What am I doing here and?
411
00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:43,805
- Aah! I'm soaking in cat water.
- Ah!
412
00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:47,277
Yay! Ah, I can see again.
413
00:19:47,452 --> 00:19:50,580
A witch?
That's the weakest lie you've ever told.
414
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,215
Roxie, wait.
415
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:56,487
Don't walk away from me.
This is important.
416
00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:57,686
A witch, huh?
417
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,831
Is that some kind of metaphor
for something?
418
00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:01,727
Yeah, maybe it is.
419
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:05,427
It means a girl who's afraid of people
finding out who she really is.
420
00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,435
It means a girl
who's willing to hide the truth
421
00:20:07,606 --> 00:20:08,971
from those she loves the most.
422
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:13,100
And it means a girl who feels different
and strange every moment of the day.
423
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:17,271
Look, I wish I could share more things
with you, but sometimes I just can't.
424
00:20:17,449 --> 00:20:18,541
I'm sorry.
425
00:20:19,618 --> 00:20:23,748
Sabrina, I'm sorry too.
I think I've been a little unfair.
426
00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:26,584
Of course you have secrets.
We all do.
427
00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:29,022
Yeah, but you're a little better
about sharing yours.
428
00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:30,218
That's okay.
429
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,386
I just have to trust
that when you feel comfortable,
430
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:33,861
you'll share yours with me.
431
00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:36,993
I will. Thanks.
432
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:40,700
A witch? That was pretty good.
433
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:45,068
MORGAN:
Salem! I'll get you.
434
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,439
Have your lunch with me
in the bathtub.
435
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:49,774
Come back here,
you mangy little fur ball.
436
00:20:50,515 --> 00:20:51,539
What's that all about?
437
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:55,118
Oh, uh, you don't wanna know.
Trust me.
438
00:20:58,890 --> 00:20:59,914
[DINGS]
439
00:21:00,692 --> 00:21:02,922
Woo-hoo!
I passed my magical systems check.
440
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,825
[SALEM SOBBING]
441
00:21:09,401 --> 00:21:10,425
Hell hath no fury
442
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,400
like a woman who's been tricked
into bathing with a cat.
443
00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:15,062
MORGAN:
Where is that stupid cat?
444
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,264
[GASPS]
445
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:19,171
[WHISPERS] Quick, close the door.
You gotta help me.
446
00:21:19,344 --> 00:21:22,438
Don't worry,
I know exactly how to handle this.
447
00:21:23,415 --> 00:21:26,646
- Sabrina, have you seen Salem?
- Yeah, bottom cabinet on the right.
448
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:30,679
[SALEM SCREAMS]
36499
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