All language subtitles for Sabrina The Teenage Witch_s07e06.Sabrina Unplugged.engn

[CAMERA CLICKING]

I think we got
some great shots here.

You look pretty cute in this one.

Oh, no. "Cute" is exactly
what I'm not going for.

This is for my byline picture.

This photo has to make me look
super-hip.

Digital cameras are high-tech,
but they're not magic.

Magic? You mean like this?

Hey. I'm just trying to help.

Maybe there's something
you could do

to look more, you know, writerly.

Like what?
Smoke a pipe and grow a beard?

I am telling you,
he couldn't keep his eyes off of me.

Fine, whatever.

SABRINA:
Oh, well, good morning.

Look who's finally home
from the concert last night.

So who you fighting about?

The, uh, guy selling glowsticks,
or the guy saying:

"Please exit to the right."

The drummer, Clive Rexford.

He looked directly at me and said,
"I want you. I need you."

Those are the words to the song.

So, what does Mr. Morgan Cavanaugh
look like?

Yeah, is he hot?

What? I was just trying to fit in.

He's gorgeous.

I think.

We were in the really cheap seats,
so he looked like an ant,

only with long hair
and this gothic makeup.

Huh. Sort of like,
"Honey, I shrunk Marilyn Manson"?

You know what?
I am gonna go send him an e-mail.

Just watch, in five minutes

she'll ask for
an English-to-British dictionary.

- Come on, we gotta pick a photo.
- Ooh, too dorky.

Uh, how about this one?

Too Bj�rk-y.

- This?
- Ooh, too Mickey Rourke-y.

Forget it.

I'll just use the picture
that traffic light took of me.

Morning, guys. What's the chat?

- Uh, just the usual guy talk.
- Yeah, right now we're talking about

what we're looking for
in a serious relationship.

- Really?
- Really.

I'm looking for a woman with depth,
a woman of substance.

I'm looking for a woman
who just wants to cuddle.

And I'm looking for an explanation
for this bizarre behavior.

Hey, what's with them?

Oh, I, uh, set up webcams
around the office.

I'm gonna edit the footage down

and put a "Behind the Scenes
at Scorch " feature on the website.

- My idea.
- I see.

Let the folks at home
in on all the exciting typing

and photocopying
that goes on around here?

I got lots of killer stuff already.
I got 20 minutes of Cole flexing.

Not that I'm into that.

Hey, lick your lips a little bit.
You'll look better on camera.

There's a camera on my desk too?

Yours, mine, everybody's.

And I would get
that mole on your neck looked at.

That's a beauty mark.

I can't work like this.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Annie, I'm launching
an official complaint.

It's these webcams
that Leonard put on everyone's desk.

I don't want the whole world
watching my every move.

Don't worry. Leonard promised
to cut out all the boring stuff.

- I think you're safe.
- How am I supposed to do my work

if I'm worried about how I look?

If you're not satisfied
with your appearance, change it.

If you're not gonna do something,
then I'm gonna protest.

Scorch magazine has no right
to broadcast my image

without my consent.
And this woman... Humph.

- Is violating my privacy.

You're shouting into my lip gloss.

Oh.

Very Berry.

It's nice.

Hello?

Anyway, you would not believe
how everyone around the office

has been playing to these webcams.

I, for one, am not gonna change
myself for a bunch of stupid cameras.

You know, I'm a writer, not a model.
Excuse me?

Oh, my fault,
the waiter outfit fooled me.

Our society has such unreasonable
standards for female beauty.

You're just saying that
because you're short.

I'm petite. And I happen to be
very comfortable with it.

Excuse me,
I have to go to the restroom.

Hey, excuse me. Hi.
Uh, would it help if I were drowning?

[CELL PHONE BEEPING]

Oh, I got a text message.

It's from Clive, that cute drummer.

He's asking me out.

Someone you've never met before
just e-mailed you for a date?

I know. I don't like this whole
high-tech-dating thing either.

I mean, call me old-fashioned,
but what happened to romance?

What happened to courtship?
What happened to pitching woo?

Ooh, I think he was traded
to the Yankees.

Hey, Sabrina, Morgan.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh, this is Tina.

Word of warning,
the service here is really slow.

I'm sorry, miss.
Uh, would you like a table? A menu?

TINA:
Just a cup of coffee to go.

Uh, can I get a glass of water?

I'll grind the beans myself.

Or anything heavy to throw at you.

Is, uh, Tina your girlfriend?

Um, no, we're just hanging out.

Oh, yeah, you said you were looking
for a woman of substance.

I guess that substance is saline.

Do you have a problem
with my date?

Oh, no, no, no. I'm sure you find her
very easy on the eyes.

Even easier on the brain.

Meow.

Where's that waiter
with your saucer of milk?

I'm all set. Nice to meet you.

Usually.

Can you believe that guy?

That was a guy?

Wow, very convincing.

ROXIE:
Weirdest thing.

I asked that drummer, Clive,
to be on my radio show,

and he just called back
and asked me out.

I'm really sorry, Morgan.
Looks like destiny has spoken.

Well, guess what?
Clive asked me out too.

Looks like destiny has call waiting.

- What?
- Yeah, and he called me first so...

Well, you know what?
I'm afraid you're...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Jan, Marcia, time out.

Why don't you guys
both go out with the cute boy

and see who he likes better?

Well, okay.

But I'm Marcia.

Hey, hey. You know what?

I have been trying to get your attention
for 20 minutes.

I'm sorry. Uh...

Here. Pay the cashier.

Well, just for that,
I am not gonna have a nice day.

A story.

A story about what's hot.

I wonder why the number one
never caught on?

You call yourself a fashion writer?
Peasant blouses are out.

The only people who are wearing
peasant blouses are actual peasants!

Ooh, Stella McCartney,
eat your heart out.

Wait, I'm a writer not a model.

Hey, Sabrina,
you've gotta come see this.

I got some great footage at lunch
of James tweezing his eyebrows.

Wow, and this is a free website?

Heh. To think I almost didn't put
a camera by that water cooler.

Water cooler?

They caught me doing magic.
You realize what this means?

I don't know.
Six more weeks of winter?

I have to get rid of the evidence.

Argh! This stupid spell book
hasn't caught up with technology.

The best it can do
is exorcize a demon-infested Atari.

So fix it the old-fashioned way.

Have saber-wielding assassins
storm the office

and hack up the computers.

Ooh, that's it. I'll just hack
into Leonard's computer and edit it out.

Thanks, Salem.

[CHUCKLES]

You know, just for that, from now on
I'm gonna check underneath my car

before I back out of the driveway.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

- It's Clive.
MORGAN: He's here.

I mean, was that the doorbell?

Hi, I'm Clive Rexford.

Did something happen
to Clive Junior?

Oh, no, no.

He and the little munchkins
are doing just great.

I've got photos.

Wait, you're the drummer
from Spinster Embryo?

Clive Rexford?

That's what it says on me meds.

Ooh, you look different up close
without your makeup,

and apparently your wig.

So, girls, shall we go grab a bite?

- You go ahead.
- I don't know.

I have a lot of hair to wash.

Well, I made dinner reservations
for three. Don't bail on me.

- Okay.
- All right.

Heh, brilliant.
Now, we've gotta scurry

because this coupon
is only good till 7.

Okay, let's see.

If I were Leonard's computer,
what would my password be?

Enterprise?

Um... Lovemeister?

Sabrina?

Phew!

Well, I guess I'm just gonna have to
go in and get it out manually.

Oh! Ow.

Ah. Well, so much
for that beauty mark.

I understand the foot thing,
it's the hoof that worries me.

Oh. Here it is: Webcam.

Ah, water cooler.

SHAGG Y:
Zoinks.

Shaggy?

Um, like, at your service.
And Scooby-Doo.

Scooby-Dooby-Doo.

- What are you guys doing here?
SHAGG Y: Screen saver.

Hey, can you do me a favor?

Can't you get us off this computer?

Even Scoob's embarrassed
to be on this dude's PC.

Sorry, I don't do Windows.

[SCOOBY-DOO YELPS AND
COMPUTER POWERS DOWN]

What's happening?

We're, like, shut down for the night.

[SCOOBY-DOO WHIMPERS]

But I don't belong here.

I gotta get out!

No!

Well, what do you know?

Hey, James, check this out.

[IN SINGSONG]
Somebody's got a crush on me.

Yeah, but why would
that big hairy dude from shipping

send you a picture of Sabrina?

I gotta say,
that Sabrina is pretty cute.

Really?

Well, let's see if you think she's cute

if she looks like
old Zeke the prospector?

No, I like Sabrina
just the way she is.

Although, it never hurts
to have a couple of Shoshanas.

- Ooh.
- Ha, ha!

JAMES: Well, if you're gonna
enhance the chassis,

you might as well jack up the rear
and give her a new paint job.

Oh, yeah.

[BOTH SNICKERING]

ANNIE:
Hello?

We are supposed to be having
an editorial meeting in my office, guys.

Let's go.

- All right.
LEONARD: Ahem.

Oops. Heh.

Oh, no.

Oh, please tell me
this is just really strong hairspray.

- Sabrina?
- Yeah?

We're about to start the meeting.

SABRINA:
Oh, okay.

Oh, I dropped my pencil. Ha, ha.

Yeah, it's rolling.

Still rolling.

Still rolling.

Hey, while I'm down here,
you want a pedicure?

Okay, I know I suggested
you change your appearance,

but I'm not sure
the Pamela Anderson look

is the image you want.

Oh, these aren't mine.
I'm, uh, carrying them for a friend.

Sabrina.

What happened to you?
You got such big...

...hair.

Yeah, it's a new shampoo.
Uh, they say it adds body. Ha, ha.

And they're not lying.

Yeah, maybe
I shouldn't rinse and repeat. Ha, ha.

Gotta go.

[CLANKING]

Unh, darn it.

If you're here, who's co-hosting
the Country Music Awards?

Sabrina, can we...?

Wow, what's up with this getup?

Oh, well, uh, Roxie, I would expect you
of all people to know.

I have adopted this outrageous look
to make a statement

about society's unreasonable
expectations of female beauty.

Oh, she's telling women
to be prettier.

No, Morgan. It's a feminist protest.

Way to go, sister. Burn your bra.

Yeah, well, if I did,
you could see the smoke in Baltimore.

Sabrina, how did you do all of this?

Uh, mostly wire hangers
and Styrofoam peanuts.

So how was the date
with the drummer?

Well, Clive was old enough
to be my grandfather.

And short enough
to be Roxie's grandfather.

But he turned out to be
a really nice guy.

We had lots of fun. And he gave us
free preview copies of his solo CD.

Yeah, it's nothing but drumming.
It's called Buh-Dump-Bump Chsss.

Anyway,
Clive has this amazing background

and we thought
he'd be a great subject for Scorch.

I don't know, guys.

[PHONE RINGING]

I don't know people
that are interested in a story

about a wrinkly old drummer
who's gone solo. Hello?

Where the hell did that pencil roll,
Poughkeepsie?

Oh, I'm sorry to disappear like that,

but I am hot on the trail of a great story
about an old drummer.

I'll be in later.

If I dig myself any deeper
I'm gonna hit rice.

You weren't lying.
We told Clive to meet us at the diner.

So you really can write that story.

Guys, I really don't feel
like going out like this.

Are you kidding?

If I had figure like that,
I'd want to show it off.

Heck, I'd be married
to an 80-year-old billionaire by now.

But we are only going to the diner,

and I don't think they're gonna get
the statement you're making.

Okay, well,
I'll just change my clothes.

- Is something wrong, Sabrina?
- No, no, no, Roxie.

I cannot give in
and not make this statement.

That's just want the man wants.
Let's go.

Oh, she's got what the man wants.

I don't see Clive.
He must be on his way.

Oh, great, Stan's working. I hope
you're not in a hurry to get served.

Good afternoon, miss.
Let me get you a table right away.

All right, come on,
you guys are done. Let's go.

Up to, up to. The mayo
on your tuna's starting to turn.

Ladies?

So something to start?

Uh, three lemonades, please?

I'll squeeze them myself.

Wow, what got into him?

What got into him
is what got into you.

I don't think
he's getting the irony of your outfit.

Well, on the upside,
he's getting our order, and fast.

Here we go.

Oh, we didn't order lattes.

No, these were sent over.

From the gentleman at the counter,
another from the guy by the window,

and the third
from the woman in the hard hat.

Cool.

Uh-uh. They're for the blond.

For your information,
I am a blond in here.

The only reason
you're getting all this free stuff

is because of the way you look?

I know. It's an outrage.

What are you doing?

Oh, uh, exploiting, um, gender politics
to get a free muffin.

Sorry I'm late, ladies.

At the last minute,
I realized I had something in my teeth.

So I had to go back
and get the other set.

Now, where is that writer?

This is her. Sabrina Spellman.

No, no, no. I meant the journalist
who's going to write that story on me.

That would be me. Why don't we start
with background information?

Fine, Goldilocks.

I was born in London.
That's a big, big city in England.

Yeah, I know where London is.
I've been there.

Really? What, were they opening
a Trafalgar Square branch of Hooters?

- Ha, ha.
- I'm treating you like a professional,

I expect you
to treat me like a professional.

Oh, you're a professional.
Well, that explains the dress.

That's it.
You are way out of line, buddy.

ROXIE:
I'm really sorry, Sabrina.

We had no idea
he'd be so obnoxious.

Well, I don't know.

Everything sounds so cute
with that accent.

SABRINA:
Just because I have a great body

doesn't mean
I also don't have a great brain.

I mean, look at this woman.

It isn't fair that she's ignored
because she's not glamorous

and her hair is limp and lifeless.

And sure,
she could use a little concealer

and control top pantyhose
wouldn't hurt.

For the love of God, stop.

I'm so sorry,
but you didn't let me finish.

This woman isn't gorgeous doesn't
mean she doesn't have a lot to offer.

I mean, we have to stop judging others
by the what they look on the surface.

It's what underneath that matters,
not what's neath.

I like you.

When you're angry you jiggle.

Nice speech.
Strident, with just a touch of hypocrisy.

You're right. I owe you an apology.

I shouldn't have assumed
you're dating Tina

because she's gorgeous.

She probably challenges you
intellectually as well.

Look at the sign.
They spelled dinner with one N.

But sometimes
if a book's cover says,

"An Idiot's Guide for Dummies,"
you gotta take it at face value.

Man, I gotta get the name
of that shampoo.

Okay, I've had enough
of this Jessica Rabbit impersonation.

Oh, I'm ready to get back
to my old self.

I just wish I knew how.

SALEM: Oh, Harvey, knows his way
around a computer.

He could put you back
the way you were.

But allow me to point out,
you look mighty, mighty...

- Sabrina, you're...
- Yeah, I know, mighty, mighty.

Look, I can't stand looking like this
for another day,

you obviously
have a hockey game to get back to.

No, they won't miss me.
There's a fight going on.

Oh, so you were hiding
in the penalty box?

They hit so hard.

Anyway,
you're the one with the magic powers,

how am I supposed to help you?

Okay, I'm gonna go
inside your computer

and you can use PhotoTweek
to get me back to normal.

You positive?

This is what I'm saying.

Okay, here goes.

SABRINA: Listen, Harvey, as long as
I'm in here, I miss the beauty mark.

Could you put it back?

- But you don't understand.
- No, I don't.

Why did you put cameras
in the men's room?

You're lucky
we're not getting a lawsuit.

I want all webcams
disconnected immediately,

and I want that limerick about me
erased off the wall.

Fine, I'll get rid of the webcams.

But someday, you will be
slack-jawed in awe of my genius.

Pull.

Thank you.

Oh.

What do you want?

You're probably wondering
why I looked so outrageous yesterday.

Well, actually I was working
on a story about body image.

I assumed you were trying to draw
attention away from your writing.

The point is,
I'm back with my peasant blouses,

and sensible shoes.

This is the way I look
and you have to deal with it.

You were the one
having a hard time.

First the cameras
are freaking you out,

then you get all Dolly Partoned
up in here,

and now you've got this
bizarre tattoo going on.

Oh, well, you know
the peer pressure at computer camp.

Believe me,
working in the music industry,

I have seen far, far stranger things.

Now, where is this drummer article
that you're so hot about?

Oh. Ha, ha.

Oh, I dropped my pencil.

Oh, it's still rolling.

Still rolling.

Nice shoes. Are those Prada?

Oh, they're knockoffs. Fraud-a.

The wedgie style
really shows off your arches.

And the strap,
hugs the curve of your instep.

Has anyone ever told you
you have stunning toe cleavage?

No. Thanks.

[CAMERA CLICKING]

Leonard, hand that over.