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1
00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:04,330
SALEM:
What's with all the ironing?
2
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:07,029
I'm the office newbie.
I can't go to work all wrinkly.
3
00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:11,166
Well, that doesn't keep
Barbara Walters' mug off The View.
4
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:13,505
Ha, ha. You're a witch.
5
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,911
Why not get rid of wrinkles
in some witchy way?
6
00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:18,641
How many times
do I have to remind you?
7
00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:21,286
Roxie and Morgan live here now.
So that means no magic,
8
00:00:21,454 --> 00:00:23,513
no going through the magic portal
to the Other Realm,
9
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:27,421
and no matter how late I'm running,
no reversing the rotation of the Earth.
10
00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:30,688
Well, since you're getting all domestic
with small hot irons,
11
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,456
how about you make me a waffle?
12
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,726
Very funny.
13
00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:39,303
You're the one who's always
making eyes at Mrs. Butterworth.
14
00:00:39,472 --> 00:00:40,996
[SOBS]
15
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:24,550
I worked all day on this article
and Annie red-penciled every line.
16
00:01:24,717 --> 00:01:26,844
Yeah, she can be pretty vicious
with that red pencil.
17
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:29,989
This morning
she took issue with my new shirt.
18
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:33,185
I don't suppose you have
any X-Men Underoos to match?
19
00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:36,493
I'm not gonna take them out
of the package. They'll lose their value.
20
00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:39,988
Guys, after work
I want you to go check out this club.
21
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,327
Ashanti is doing a gig
at the civic center
22
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:43,662
and she may show up there.
23
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,532
James, try and see
if you can get pictures.
24
00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,832
And, uh, Cole,
try to grab her for questions.
25
00:01:48,007 --> 00:01:49,565
- Will do.
- And none of them should be:
26
00:01:49,742 --> 00:01:53,610
- "Are you free later?"
- Hey, J-Lo grabbed my butt.
27
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:56,407
Don't worry, Annie,
Leonard and I will keep an eye on him.
28
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,847
Oh, and I'll keep an eye
on all three of them.
29
00:01:59,018 --> 00:02:01,316
What? It's a work thing
and I'd like to go too.
30
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:03,854
No offense,
but do you even know who Ashanti is?
31
00:02:04,023 --> 00:02:06,548
She had the number one album
and single at the same time.
32
00:02:06,726 --> 00:02:08,250
She's rising
faster than Britney Spears,
33
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:11,488
who, by the way, gave me
private dance lessons in Paris.
34
00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:14,133
- What?
- Long story.
35
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:17,497
Um, so, uh, where is this club
and what time are we meeting?
36
00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:21,202
Okay. It's on the docks.
37
00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:23,342
Meet us at Pier 38 at 9:00.
38
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:24,943
On the docks. Cool.
39
00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:28,046
We aren't gonna be throwing tea
in the harbor too, are we? Ha, ha.
40
00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:30,281
- Hey, guys. Hey, Harvey.
- Hi.
41
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,111
Sabrina, great. We need your help.
42
00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:33,946
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm in a rush.
43
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,146
I'm so excited. I'm going out
with my coworkers for the first time.
44
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:40,315
- But what's going on here?
- Well, I'll tell you what's not going on.
45
00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:42,484
A surprise birthday party for me.
46
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:45,392
And that is the third and final time
I fall for that one.
47
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,467
Sabrina, we said
that we were gonna spend tonight
48
00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:51,229
cleaning out the closets
and getting rid of junk.
49
00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:53,304
And by that I mean Roxie's clothes.
50
00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:57,107
If we dumped half your makeup
we'd have room for an ice-skating rink.
51
00:02:57,977 --> 00:02:59,740
I'm sorry.
Look, I promise I'll help tomorrow.
52
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,278
I gotta go change.
53
00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:04,439
We're running out of closet space.
How come no one uses this one?
54
00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:06,346
- No.
- We can't go in there.
55
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:07,543
ROXIE:
Why not?
56
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:08,744
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
57
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,583
Oh, my God.
I know what's going on.
58
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,190
You have a tanning bed in there.
59
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:14,292
No, no, no. It's a bug zapper.
60
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:15,484
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
61
00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:17,152
Ooh. Wow, that must've been
a horsefly.
62
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:18,627
Oh, no, forget about this closet.
63
00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:21,062
Ooh, I need a cool outfit
to wear to the club tonight.
64
00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:23,168
You think you could lend me
one of your creations?
65
00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,396
Nice neighborhood.
So how do we find this club?
66
00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:29,667
Do we just follow the chalk outlines?
67
00:03:29,842 --> 00:03:32,743
Break out of your cozy little world.
You can't live your life in a bubble.
68
00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:35,346
Sure you can.
My bubble has a very low crime rate.
69
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:38,211
JAMES: There's the green light bulb.
LEONARD: That would be the club.
70
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:41,410
Unless it's
an environmentally friendly brothel.
71
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:44,290
Hey, man.
We're from Scorch magazine.
72
00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:47,119
- Yeah, go on in.
COLE: Thanks.
73
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,091
Hold it, Mary-Kate.
74
00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:51,822
- You can't come in wearing that.
- Who are you calling Mary-Kate?
75
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:54,125
The only twins I see around here
are your chins.
76
00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:57,893
Hey, hey, you just let them in
77
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,096
and she had plastic
banana barrettes in her hair.
78
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:01,938
Reminds me of my brother.
79
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,643
- Is there a problem?
SABRINA: No, no.
80
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:08,872
No, problem. I know how this works.
You want a tip, heh.
81
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,716
Okay, well, I got a tip for you:
Get out of town.
82
00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:12,908
[CHUCKLES]
83
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,919
Hey, look. If all us can't get in,
then none of us should go in.
84
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,115
And forget about Ashanti, all right?
It's just another one of Annie's rumors.
85
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:20,583
JAMES:
That is true.
86
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,990
One time Lil' Bow Wow
was supposed to be in the hospital.
87
00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:24,823
Turns out his shih tzu
was getting spayed.
88
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,124
Thanks, guys.
89
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,494
Next time we go out,
I'll help you with your look.
90
00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:31,398
Scenesters are into
a little something called goth.
91
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:34,369
Vampires, gargoyles, hepatitis C.
92
00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:36,633
Oh, please.
My people invented goth.
93
00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:37,867
What did you say?
94
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:40,376
Broth. Uh, I said
my people invented broth.
95
00:04:40,546 --> 00:04:43,743
Yeah. Before us, uh, everybody
just ate dry chicken and vegetables.
96
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:47,217
Hey, I know a place
open all night, no cover,
97
00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:50,015
and an awesome DJ who plays
exactly what you wanna hear.
98
00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:52,214
SABRINA:
Okay, E7 coming up.
99
00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:53,984
COLE: All right, look...
LEONARD: Come on.
100
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,889
So the police let me out of jail
just in time
101
00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:59,259
to dance in the carnival parade,
but I kept my clothes on.
102
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:00,490
I'm not saying my date did.
103
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:02,328
[GUYS LAUGH]
104
00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:05,767
You see, in Brazil, during carnival
everyone dances in the streets naked.
105
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:07,269
I know what happens at carnival.
106
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,533
I mean, thank God
for laser hair removal, right?
107
00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:10,903
You've been to South America?
108
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:12,101
Sort of.
109
00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:14,178
Well, it was Epcot.
But they stamped my passport.
110
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,714
You ain't never been to South Ame...
111
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:19,010
That reminds me of this time
I was on a float
112
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:21,517
with the king and queen
of Mardi Gras.
113
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:22,882
Actually, it was the same dude.
114
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:25,286
New Orleans has the best food.
115
00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:28,621
They have a Philly cheese steak there
that's better than you get in Chicago.
116
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:30,160
Look, don't worry.
117
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:33,322
The great thing about a job like this
is it gets you out into the world,
118
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:36,400
- which would do you a lot of good.
BOTH: Heh, heh.
119
00:05:36,569 --> 00:05:38,799
Okay, guys, you know,
maybe I've never been to Brazil,
120
00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:40,097
or been thrown in jail naked,
121
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:43,401
but I have been to plenty of places
and done lots of stuff.
122
00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:44,900
I'm sure you have.
123
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:48,372
But we're talking about, you know,
jumping-out-of-a-plane type stuff.
124
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,175
Yeah, you're adventurous
in your own way.
125
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,845
We mean,
like running with the bulls.
126
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:56,011
In Chicago, I got all the way to
half court before security busted me.
127
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,451
I remember that, man.
128
00:05:57,623 --> 00:05:58,647
[CHUCKLES]
129
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:02,027
See, we are men of experience.
We live life on the edge.
130
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,356
I could tell you stories
that would make your hair curl.
131
00:06:04,897 --> 00:06:08,162
Like eating unwashed fruit
in Mexico.
132
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:10,564
COLE: That's crazy. You're crazy.
- For your information,
133
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:13,706
I've seen inside volcanoes in Hawaii,
I've been to the top of Mount Everest,
134
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:16,535
and I've even ridden the roller coaster
on the rings of Saturn.
135
00:06:17,977 --> 00:06:20,309
- Excuse me?
- Uh, the rings of Saturn.
136
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,345
You know,
the amusement park in Florida.
137
00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:24,614
Near Bibleland?
138
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,411
Okay, how about another song?
139
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,611
Uh, Patsy Cline, "Crazy"? No.
140
00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:30,779
Um, "Still Crazy After All These..."
No.
141
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,755
Okay, uh, how about we just talk.
You know, guy talk.
142
00:06:33,926 --> 00:06:36,793
So, uh, that Anna Kournikova.
I mean, she is hot.
143
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:45,130
- Hey, guys.
ROXIE & MORGAN: Hi.
144
00:06:45,304 --> 00:06:47,465
Have you guys ever blurted
something out under pressure
145
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,369
that would make everyone think
you're weird?
146
00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:51,772
Weird how?
Creepy, scary, Sixth Sense weird?
147
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:54,174
Or freakish, odd,
Liza's husband weird?
148
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,980
I'd say like,
backwards-white-jacket weird.
149
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,845
Ooh, that reminds me.
Gotta call Mom.
150
00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:00,144
Lockdown is in ten minutes.
151
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:05,417
Okay, this is the "to get rid of" box.
I'm gonna toss it in the back of the car.
152
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,525
Oh, wait, that's my sweater.
153
00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,923
And those are my jeans.
This is my box.
154
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,620
I'm not giving this stuff away.
155
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,459
What about helping
the less fortunate?
156
00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:15,726
Well, I don't see
any of Roxie's stuff in there.
157
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,866
I think the less fortunate
have enough problems.
158
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,030
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
159
00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:24,235
Hey, Harvey,
you still helping them move boxes?
160
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,002
No. I fooled them.
161
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,305
This is the same box.
162
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,540
I've just been carrying it up and down
the stairs for the last half an hour.
163
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:33,082
Good idea,
Just carrying an empty box.
164
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,552
Empty? Shoot.
165
00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:41,059
So did you have fun
with your coworkers tonight?
166
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:42,421
Not really.
167
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:43,721
We were all sitting, talking,
168
00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:45,488
and suddenly I blurted out
about that time
169
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,633
I went to the rings of Saturn
with Aunt Hilda.
170
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,769
Did you mention
that all I got was a lousy T-shirt?
171
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:54,705
- Sabrina, why did you tell them that?
- I couldn't help it.
172
00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:57,308
They were all trading stories
about their big exotic exploits,
173
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,637
and I couldn't even tell them
174
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,507
that I once broke the sound barrier
on a Hoover upright.
175
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,808
Maybe they'll think
you were using a figure of speech.
176
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,679
You know, that the rings of Saturn
is something everyone's saying.
177
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,815
By the way, we're taking a load
to the shelter in the city tomorrow,
178
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:12,082
so make sure
you have your junk in the car.
179
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,657
But I have to work tomorrow.
180
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,287
Hello? Roxie and I have jobs too.
181
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:19,260
Okay, okay. I'll go on my lunch break,
but I can't be late getting back.
182
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:20,865
Tomorrow at work
I'm gonna be doing
183
00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:22,967
more damage control
than Mariah Carey's publicist.
184
00:08:23,135 --> 00:08:24,295
Why? What's going on?
185
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:25,801
Well, here's the thing.
186
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,405
I said something to my coworkers,
187
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:29,632
and now they think
I'm all Girl, Interrupted.
188
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:35,440
Well, the next time someone does that,
just say, "Excuse me, I was talking."
189
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:42,415
Oh, hey, Jody, I love those shoes.
They are totally rings of Saturn.
190
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:44,647
Brett, we missed you last night.
We had a great time.
191
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:47,054
Yeah, it was like roller-coasting
on the rings of Saturn.
192
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:48,250
[SABRINA CHUCKLES]
193
00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:50,588
Oh, come on, hasn't anyone here
heard that expression?
194
00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:53,857
I mean, where have you people been?
Come on, hip it up.
195
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,796
Jonathan hired her.
He should know about this.
196
00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:58,436
It's none of his business,
Squealy McSquawkbox.
197
00:08:58,604 --> 00:08:59,730
What's not whose business?
198
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,905
Okay, I don't wanna rat on anybody,
199
00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:04,975
but I think Jonathan should know
the new girl may be slightly off.
200
00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:07,305
Judas, party of 13,
your table is ready.
201
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,674
I mean, come on, Len.
202
00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:10,543
She said Britney Spears
taught her to dance.
203
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,013
She said her people created goth.
204
00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:14,379
And that whole thing
about the roller coaster on Saturn?
205
00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:17,179
I think her umbilical cord
was wrapped too tight.
206
00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:19,756
Hey, look.
Jonathan hired Sabrina for a reason.
207
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,393
A reason I cannot fathom.
208
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,791
But as long as her behavior
isn't dangerous,
209
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:26,261
we're gonna treat her
like just another Scorch employee.
210
00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:27,990
With a chemical imbalance
like a pool.
211
00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:30,829
Hey, Annie, I love the hair.
It's totally rings of Saturn.
212
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:36,038
Hey, come on, "it's all good"
didn't catch on right away either.
213
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,838
Guys, my lunch break is only an hour
and the last time I was late,
214
00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:44,539
Annie made me sing the "Tardy Song"
to the whole custodial staff.
215
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:46,150
Man, these boxes are heavy.
216
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,753
Well, here, lets use this cart.
217
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,048
You know the best thing
about giving stuff to the poor?
218
00:09:51,223 --> 00:09:53,248
Yep. It means
we get to buy new stuff.
219
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:57,355
Hey, hey, we're losing
valuable merchandise.
220
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,555
Great,
now I'm gonna have angel hair.
221
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:02,098
Hold on, one more. One more.
222
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:05,265
There, now the queen has her robe.
223
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,303
Well, the queen
has some weird friends.
224
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:09,600
How come they can surgically
relocate your bellybutton,
225
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:14,075
but they can't fix the grocery cart
wobbly wheel problem?
226
00:10:14,246 --> 00:10:15,440
[HORN HONKS]
227
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,378
[BRAKES SQUEAL]
228
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,484
Hey! This is a crosswalk, buddy.
229
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:22,143
There better be a cooler full of kidneys
in your backseat.
230
00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:29,521
Look...
231
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:32,892
It's not what you think.
I'm going to the shelter.
232
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:34,589
I mean, I...
233
00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:45,704
Hey, there. Whoa, high strung.
234
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:47,573
Sign of quality breeding.
235
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:50,079
Between you and me,
I'm a sucker for the crazy girls.
236
00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:53,741
Oh, too bad, because I hear Susie
in accounting has a thing for you.
237
00:10:53,919 --> 00:10:54,943
Really?
238
00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:57,614
There's gotta be a Susie, right?
239
00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:59,917
Hey, James, look,
about the shopping cart
240
00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:02,253
and all the junk,
it's actually a funny story.
241
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:04,328
No need to explain. No worries.
242
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,055
These voices in your head, though,
243
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:09,099
they don't say
"kill the photographer," do they?
244
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:12,098
Very funny.
Come back and get your quarter.
245
00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:15,138
Or at least take a pencil for it.
246
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:19,071
Annie, Annie. Something
has gotta be done about Sabrina.
247
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:21,008
- James...
- You didn't see her today at lunch.
248
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,807
With the cart, the blanket,
and the trash.
249
00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:24,806
She looked like a bag lady.
250
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:26,542
James, I think you're overreacting.
251
00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:28,277
We don't know anything
about Sabrina.
252
00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:30,786
He's right. I mean, this could be
her sad, desperate attempt
253
00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:32,218
to give herself a little edge.
254
00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:34,859
Like when the Bush girls get drunk
and make out with Democrats.
255
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,791
Okay, look, all I'm saying is that
Jonathan should know when he hires
256
00:11:37,963 --> 00:11:41,763
- on impulse, it could be dangerous.
- I think dangerous is sexy.
257
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:44,528
My last date jumped out of my car
while it was still moving.
258
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:47,172
Maybe she's just got
some problems at home.
259
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,067
Does she even have a home?
260
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:51,471
One that doesn't say,
"This end up" and melt in the rain?
261
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:53,009
Okay. This is ridiculous, okay?
262
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:55,409
You guys are talking about me
and you think I'm a weirdo.
263
00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:56,946
LEONARD: No.
ANNIE: No, we don't.
264
00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:59,914
Okay, look, and I just want you
to know that I do have a home.
265
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,713
And I invite any of you, except you,
266
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:05,414
anytime to come over
and see my regular, normal home.
267
00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:08,383
Uh, why is Salem
wearing a tutti-frutti hat?
268
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,688
I put it on him. Isn't it cute?
269
00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:12,728
And why are you sitting
on the coffee table?
270
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,162
Before another day
of moving boxes around,
271
00:12:15,334 --> 00:12:18,326
I thought I'd warm up with some yoga.
I'm attempting to levitate.
272
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:19,766
Well, do you have to do it here?
273
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:23,102
Cole is coming over, and it won't help
if he thinks I'm living with a wacko.
274
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:26,945
Sorry, I'm not moving from this spot
until I levitate.
275
00:12:30,649 --> 00:12:32,082
- Anything?
- No.
276
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:35,482
I'm starting to think
this yoga thing is a scam.
277
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:38,882
Morning, everyone. What's up?
278
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:40,787
Why are you wearing a chip clip
on your nose?
279
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,259
Ow. I am reshaping my nose
without surgery.
280
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:47,593
I wear it when I sleep, like headgear.
281
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,291
Well, you look ridiculous.
282
00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:52,130
You should stop getting your medical
advice from the dollar store.
283
00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:54,499
Sabrina, you're trying too hard.
Just be yourself,
284
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,107
and they'll see you for the wonderful,
regular girl you are.
285
00:12:57,643 --> 00:12:59,508
Actually, that is really good advice.
286
00:12:59,678 --> 00:13:02,044
And just in case it doesn't work,
go, go.
287
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:07,845
Salem, there's an open can of tuna
in the kitchen.
288
00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:11,421
Ha! Nice try.
I know what's going on.
289
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:13,182
This guy is coming over
and you're worried
290
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:15,452
a cat will make you look spinsterish.
291
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,188
No, what makes me look
spinsterish is the cat,
292
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,992
the two female roommates,
and the large Victorian house.
293
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,761
Look, it's obvious
you like this Cole guy.
294
00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:26,131
Do what anybody
in your situation would do:
295
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:27,567
Rub up against his leg,
296
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,765
or stand in front of the TV
and arch your back.
297
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,876
This is why I don't listen to you
anymore, Salem.
298
00:13:32,044 --> 00:13:34,342
I am done taking
the cat's advice. Okay?
299
00:13:34,513 --> 00:13:37,141
I am sick and tired
of hearing your nagging little voice.
300
00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,181
Psst. Meow.
301
00:13:39,351 --> 00:13:41,114
SABRINA:
Oh, what is that, sarcasm?
302
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:43,181
[SALEM GRUNTING]
303
00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:46,415
Oh, hi, Cole. Come on in.
304
00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:51,893
- Hey.
- Hey, Sabrina.
305
00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:55,090
Uh, you know, they say that,
um, if you talk to cats
306
00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:57,258
it makes them, um, shed less.
307
00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:58,460
[SABRINA LAUGHS]
308
00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:01,037
All right, let me get my stuff.
I'll meet you out by the car.
309
00:14:03,642 --> 00:14:05,166
ROXIE: Sorry,
we thought you were gone.
310
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,834
I'm Roxie. This is Morgan.
311
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,274
Oh, hi.
312
00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:10,745
So, uh, how long have you guys
been roommates with Sabrina?
313
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:12,406
We've only lived here
for a few months.
314
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,314
This house used to belong
to Sabrina's aunts.
315
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,387
Oh. Uh, so where did they go?
316
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:17,579
We don't know.
317
00:14:17,756 --> 00:14:21,248
It was really strange.
They kind of just disappeared.
318
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,395
And you never checked out
what happened to them?
319
00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:25,223
Oh, Sabrina
doesn't like to talk about it.
320
00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:28,032
Not that Sabrina
doesn't like to talk about things
321
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,258
and keeps a lot of secrets.
322
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:31,164
Oh, she's very open.
323
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:33,771
Except when it comes
to that closet upstairs, right?
324
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:35,429
- Oh, yeah, "Don't go in there!"
- Aah!
325
00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:38,543
Hey, uh, what are you guys
doing down here?
326
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,578
I thought I told you to wait upstairs.
And I told you to wait in the car.
327
00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:44,682
And you, we'll talk later.
I mean, I'll talk to you later.
328
00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:45,942
About shedding.
329
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:47,312
[SABRINA CHUCKLES]
330
00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:49,181
Why would he talk to me?
He's a cat.
331
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:50,947
[CHUCKLES]
332
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,050
COLE: Heh.
MORGAN: Bye.
333
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,326
Yeah, my roommates and I
get along great.
334
00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:01,159
You know, except for little things.
335
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:03,324
Like Morgan, the way
she's always chomping her gum.
336
00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:04,799
I could just strangle her.
337
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:06,295
[SPITS GUM]
338
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:10,467
Um, so your friends said
you used to live with your aunts?
339
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,537
Yeah. Yeah,
when I was in high school.
340
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:14,440
But I grew up
and I didn't need them anymore.
341
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,245
I do miss them, though.
342
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,178
Well, I'm sure
they'll come back and visit.
343
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:21,581
No, no, no.
No, they won't be coming back.
344
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:26,053
Could you pull over by the diner?
I wanna get something for the office.
345
00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:27,419
Yeah, yeah, sure.
346
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,220
[BRAKES SQUEAL]
347
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:33,823
Hey, you know what? Listen.
348
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,024
Um, I just remembered,
I got a conference call,
349
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:39,170
and, uh, you know, we're only
a couple blocks from the office.
350
00:15:39,338 --> 00:15:40,362
Do you mind walking?
351
00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:43,235
Oh, no problem.
I'll see you back there.
352
00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:47,841
Okay, well,
he definitely thinks I'm crazy.
353
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:50,140
And the fact that
I'm talking to myself is not helping.
354
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:52,876
Excuse me, um,
I need a coffeecake for my office.
355
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:56,112
- Okay, we got a fruitcake...
- No, no, no. No fruitcakes.
356
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:58,347
- How about a nice nut loaf?
- No, no, nothing nutty.
357
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,719
I need something that says,
normal, not crazy,
358
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,622
not about to have
a nervous breakdown.
359
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,387
I don't think I can fit that on a cake.
360
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:06,827
I could maybe do "happy birthday"
with some nice balloons.
361
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:08,425
Give me a minute.
362
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,833
- Uh, regular coffee to go.
WAITER: Yep.
363
00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:15,306
You have a little...
364
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:19,774
Oh, great.
365
00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:22,004
That's the last time
I let a monkey do my makeover.
366
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:24,180
You work at Scorch?
367
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:26,910
Yeah. Hey, thanks for giving me
the heads up on the clown mouth.
368
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:29,145
My coworkers already think
I'm crazy enough as it is.
369
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:30,379
Why is that?
370
00:16:30,789 --> 00:16:31,847
Oh, I said something stupid
371
00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:34,151
about riding a roller coaster
on the rings of Saturn.
372
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:35,987
- It's a long story.
- That's kind of cool.
373
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,561
It paints a nice picture.
You seem very artistic.
374
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:40,392
I'm better with words
than with lipstick.
375
00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:42,692
A dollar thirty-five.
376
00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:45,996
Oh, gosh,
I guess I left my wallet at the hotel.
377
00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:48,998
Well, then you can get your coffee
at the hotel.
378
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,869
Oh, I can cover your coffee.
379
00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:53,511
Oh, really?
That would be nice, thank you.
380
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,112
No problem.
381
00:16:56,548 --> 00:16:58,243
Um, listen, you have a card
or anything?
382
00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:01,045
- I'd like pay you back for the coffee.
- Oh, don't worry about it.
383
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:03,484
I'm just glad I didn't run into you
at a car dealership.
384
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:05,555
- Ha, ha.
- Thanks again.
385
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:07,883
[MORGAN SIGHS]
386
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:11,029
I don't care what Sabrina says.
We need this closet space.
387
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:12,754
Morgan, don't open that.
388
00:17:12,931 --> 00:17:14,865
Morgan, are these your tap shoes?
389
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:18,629
Oh, my gosh.
I haven't seen those in years.
390
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:20,032
They look brand new.
391
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:24,699
Yeah, I realized whenever I wore them
they just made too much noise.
392
00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:27,403
Harvey?
393
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,711
Harvey.
394
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:32,574
That is just like him.
395
00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:36,778
We ask for help and then
he gets wrapped up in something else.
396
00:17:37,256 --> 00:17:39,417
Okay, you know,
I still think you guys are overreacting.
397
00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:42,458
Now, we're all going back to work.
Business as usual.
398
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,061
She may have killed her aunts, okay?
399
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:46,857
We could be dealing with
an aunt-icidal maniac.
400
00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:49,193
We have nothing
to worry about with Sabrina.
401
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:51,199
Hey, guys, I got a surprise.
402
00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:52,462
[COWORKERS GASP]
403
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,635
No, guys, the knife is for the cake.
I brought cake.
404
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,673
Leonard,
get out from underneath the desk.
405
00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:01,606
Guys, listen, I know there's been
rumors about my behavior lately,
406
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:03,543
but you haven't been seeing
the whole picture.
407
00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:05,478
I mean, there's an explanation
for everything:
408
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:08,176
The grocery cart, the knife,
the rings of Saturn.
409
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:09,377
[HONKING NEARBY]
410
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:11,022
- Ooh, latte cart.
- Guys, wait.
411
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:13,784
I'm not a lunatic.
412
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:19,588
Hey, there you are.
I wanted to pay you back your money.
413
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:23,360
Oh, you didn't have to do that.
It was just coffee, but thanks.
414
00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:24,900
I'm Sabrina Spellman, by the way.
415
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:26,697
Hi, I'm Ashanti. Nice to meet you.
416
00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:29,131
- Oh, the singer, Ashanti?
- Mm-hm.
417
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:30,570
Oh, I see what's happening here.
418
00:18:30,742 --> 00:18:32,642
They're trying to set me up
and you're in on it.
419
00:18:32,811 --> 00:18:35,780
They think I'm nuts and they're trying
to push me into the crazy pool.
420
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,314
Very funny, guys.
You can come out now.
421
00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:41,248
Let me know if there is ever anything
I can do to return the favor.
422
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:43,251
Uh, actually, since you're offering,
423
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:46,391
um, would you mind giving me
a few minutes to do an interview?
424
00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:47,752
Uh, the magazine would love it,
425
00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:49,587
and my reputation
sure could use the help.
426
00:18:49,761 --> 00:18:51,888
I'm kind of in a rush.
The tour bus is waiting outside.
427
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,328
But you know what?
Here is my manager's card.
428
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,127
Give her a call.
She'll set something up.
429
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,667
Okay, thanks.
430
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:04,772
Hey, was that?
431
00:19:04,943 --> 00:19:06,843
Was someone
supposed to interview Ashanti?
432
00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:08,741
Jonathan didn't say anything to me
about it.
433
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:11,144
You didn't go saying something weird
and chase her off.
434
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,944
As a matter of fact,
she came here to...
435
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:15,143
No.
436
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,845
All right, all right, all right.
Forget the manager.
437
00:19:18,023 --> 00:19:20,457
Look. Here's my cell number.
438
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:23,720
Give me a call tonight before the show
and you can get your interview.
439
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,420
And, girl, you are definitely
440
00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:28,794
riding the roller coaster on
the rings of Saturn in my book. Holler.
441
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:35,062
- Wow. Sabrina knows Ashanti.
- Huh?
442
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,800
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Me and Ashanti, ha, ha.
443
00:19:37,976 --> 00:19:39,500
Yeah, we're buds. We go way back.
444
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,839
Well, I guess
we misjudged the new girl.
445
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,641
So Ashanti is the one
who came up with
446
00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:45,544
this whole
rings-of-Saturn thing, huh?
447
00:19:45,717 --> 00:19:48,311
Well, actually, uh,
we both came up with it together.
448
00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:49,954
Yeah, we're like
Lennon and McCartney,
449
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:51,384
Simon and Garfunkel, ha, ha.
450
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:53,548
We're Spellman and...
451
00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:56,193
Whatever Ashanti's last name is.
452
00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:58,755
So is anybody gonna eat this cake?
453
00:20:07,472 --> 00:20:09,770
Hey, looks like
you got everything stowed away.
454
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:12,706
- What happened to Harvey?
- He bailed on us hours ago.
455
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,778
[GASPING]
456
00:20:20,652 --> 00:20:21,778
Harvey, what happened to you?
457
00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:23,649
I was...
458
00:20:23,822 --> 00:20:27,314
Giant octopus, and tentacles,
and acid blood.
459
00:20:27,492 --> 00:20:28,550
It was horrible.
460
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:32,788
MORGAN: Is that Harvey up there?
We've got six more boxes.
37623
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