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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,009 ♪ anticipatory music playing ♪ 2 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,608 - You're a writer, aren't you? 3 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,485 - Yeah. How'd you know? 4 00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,570 - Writers don't have to get all done up for meetings. 5 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,030 Not like actresses. 6 00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,908 You guys can wear anything. 7 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,619 - Thank you? - Mm-hm. 8 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,747 - Hannah, we're ready for you. - Great, coming. 9 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,416 [exhaling loudly] 10 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,544 - Oh, um. - What? 11 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,754 ACTRESS: You-- - Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 12 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:50,425 Um... can you help me? 13 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:55,597 - So, my team tells me you've done some really original stuff in the indie space. 14 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,683 - Uh, thank you. I try. 15 00:00:57,683 --> 00:01:00,102 - Well, we're definitely on the lookout for breakthrough shows, 16 00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,687 the edgier the better. 17 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:02,771 So, what do ya got? 18 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,899 - I wanna reboot the old sitcom Step Right Up! 19 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,570 - [laughing] Step Right-- Are you serious? 20 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,654 HANNAH: Dead serious. 21 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,406 And I wanna do it with the original cast. 22 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,700 - Am I... thinking of the right one? 23 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,994 Can somebody pull up a clip? - Oh, yeah. 24 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,121 [keys clicking] 25 00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,873 - Got it! [employees groaning] 26 00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:23,125 JOSIE: [on video] Hey, how was the skate park? 27 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:25,127 - Great! Dad taught me how to do a kickflip. 28 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,546 [Josie gasps] - Oh, I can teach anyone how to skateboard. 29 00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:28,964 [Josie laughing] 30 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,925 - Oy. [audience laughing] 31 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,635 - Well, almost anyone. 32 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:36,972 - Oh, Lawrence, honey, what happened? 33 00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:39,850 - Well, I, I wanted to make a good impression on my new stepson. 34 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,810 - And instead, he made it on the concrete. 35 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,353 [yelps] [audience laughing] 36 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:46,899 ♪ Hello friend, it may take some time ♪ 37 00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:50,694 ♪ But there's no hill that we can't climb ♪ 38 00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:54,531 ♪ Love and laughs will get us all through ♪ 39 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,701 ♪ Just one thing that you gotta do ♪ 40 00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,579 ♪ And that's, step right up ♪ 41 00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,789 ♪ Just step right up ♪ 42 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,416 ♪ Step right up ♪ 43 00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:05,584 ♪ That's what you gotta do ♪ 44 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:11,548 ♪ Step... right... up ♪ 45 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,092 - Now I remember. 46 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:16,094 My kids used to love that show. 47 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,554 - Your kids are great. 48 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,557 - Sir, it does surprisingly well on our platform 49 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:23,185 with Family, Pop Culture, Vicarious-Living, 50 00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:25,020 and Live-To-Laugh audience segments. 51 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:28,065 Average viewing time, 63 minutes. 52 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,234 - Are we sure that's not just people leaving it on for their dogs? 53 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,235 - No, we track that. 54 00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,320 - Elaine just joined the creative team from research. 55 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:37,574 I, I gotta say, it seems like an odd choice from someone so edgy. 56 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:41,537 Y-You are the edgy one, right? Or is that my 11:15? 57 00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:45,040 - No, no, she's the one who did that movie at South by Southwest I told you about. 58 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,543 What was it called? - Thank you, um, for having seen it. 59 00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:48,836 It's called Cunt Saw. 60 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:51,588 - Oh boy. Then I'm a little bit confused. 61 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,757 Why do you wanna do something so traditional? 62 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,176 - Uh, yeah, um, god, it's hard to explain. 63 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,763 Okay, you know how in the old sitcom, the characters always did the right thing? 64 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:00,764 - Mm-hm. 65 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,975 - They don't do the right thing anymore. 66 00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:06,270 - Oh. - You know, like, I fuck with it. 67 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,897 But in a fun way. - Mm-hm. 68 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,942 I don't know. It might be too edgy for you. [employees laughing] 69 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,652 - You're talking to the guy who, uh, 70 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:16,029 greenlit the fifth season of Handmaid's Tale. 71 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,031 - So brave. So brave. 72 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,242 EXECUTIVE: Do we know if the cast is available? 73 00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:21,660 - Or alive? 74 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:25,038 - Well, according to Wikipedia, 75 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,665 Step Right Up was cancelled when 76 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:29,209 Reed Sterling left to pursue a film career, 77 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,045 but, for whatever reason, no film or TV lately. 78 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,463 CASTING ASSISTANT: That's the deal, you cocksucker. 79 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:36,216 You can take it, or I beat you to death with a fucking bat. 80 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,469 - Well, look at you. Actin' like you A-Rod or some shit 81 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:43,098 when I'm the ruthless muthafucka standin' here with a .38 snubnose. 82 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,101 You know what? Um, actually, I'm thinking 83 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:47,853 that perhaps I should infuse him 84 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,814 with a layer of weariness and vulnerability. 85 00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,566 CASTING ASSISTANT: Maybe don't think. 86 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,068 - Well, not-not exactly what they taught us at the Yale School of Drama. 87 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,486 CASTING ASSISTANT: Thank you. 88 00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:03,368 - Bree Marie Jensen did a season on a low budget sci-fi cable show 89 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,037 called StarBlast Five. 90 00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,246 - Status? 91 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:10,167 - Captain, it has to be the multi-camera spectrometer 92 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:10,959 and cryo-cooler. 93 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:12,961 I'll repair them as soon as I 94 00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,215 nourish my larvae. 95 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,383 ELAINE: Says she then left Hollywood 96 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:22,221 to marry the Duke of a small Nordic country named Fjordstad. 97 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,805 And Clay Barber? 98 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,974 [camera clicks] Arrested on a drug charge in 2011, 99 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,560 returned to stand-up comedy in 2014, 100 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,189 [camera clicks] charged with disorderly conduct in 2017. 101 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,191 Now back doing stand-up. 102 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,652 - Do we know what happened to the kid? 103 00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:41,323 - Uh, Zack Jackson starred in a string of straight-to-video teen movies: 104 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:44,868 including Kid Congressman, Teenstronaut, 105 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,329 and Hunchback of Notre Dame High. 106 00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:52,084 I like this idea, but are people still doing reboots? 107 00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:54,503 - Let's see, Fuller House, Saved by the Bell, 108 00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:56,839 iCarly, Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl. 109 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,007 - Party of Five, Party Down, One Day at a Time. 110 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,551 - Boy Meets World, How I Met Your Father, 111 00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:01,426 The Wonder Years. 112 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,636 - Battlestar Galactica. 113 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,971 - Doogie Howser, The Odd Couple. 114 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:07,474 - Perry Mason, Hawaii Five-O, Veronica Mars, Fresh Prince. 115 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,601 Fraggle Rock. - Fraggle Rock. 116 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,855 - Makes me feel a little bit safer. 117 00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,274 What the hell, 118 00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:17,818 let's remake something original. 119 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,821 ♪ theme music playing ♪ 120 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:28,078 NORA: Hi, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. REED: Hi, babe. 121 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,872 - Our overpaid lead threw a fit. 122 00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:33,208 She said that her understudy was sneezing on her. 123 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:36,378 - You, You know who was just eating here? Like, right over there? 124 00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:38,797 Paul Thomas Anderson. - Oh, let me guess: 125 00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:40,549 his lunch went on a half hour too long. 126 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,467 - Come on, j-just because Magnolia 127 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,135 dared to-- - Mm-hm. 128 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,011 - You know what? 129 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,220 I'm not gonna have this fight again. - Okay, 130 00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,055 I have to be back at the theater in 40 minutes, 131 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,974 so what's this big thing you wanted to discuss? 132 00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:51,518 - [sighs] Okay, remember I told you they were rebooting my old show? 133 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,061 - Mm-hm. - I read the script. 134 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:56,023 - And? - And I am shocked, but it's really good. 135 00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:59,067 It's smart dialogue, and nuanced relationships. 136 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,235 Ooh, and get this: 137 00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:03,655 My character had a dark secret the entire time. 138 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,824 - And it's still a comedy? - Here's what's brilliant. 139 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,744 It is both the funniest thing you've ever read, 140 00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,287 and you won't laugh once. 141 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:11,788 - I thought you hated this show. 142 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:14,166 I mean, I've heard you blame it for ruining your career. 143 00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:17,544 - The show itself was bad... but there's a new writer. 144 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,671 And so now there's none of that old, hacky, 145 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:22,508 set-up/punchline, set-up/punchline thing. That was all Gordon. 146 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,302 [sighing] So, I think I'm gonna do it. 147 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:29,973 - Wow. - I, I, I want more people to see the potential I had 148 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,767 when I came out of the Yale School of Drama. - Oh my god, 149 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,185 you have such a large penis, 150 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,853 why do you always have to bring up Yale? 151 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,939 - [sighs] Okay, listen. 152 00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:38,899 It shoots in L.A., 153 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,026 so... you could always join me 154 00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,486 after the play opens. - You know I can't. 155 00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,112 I mean, once this fuckin' play opens, 156 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:47,699 I go straight into rehearsals on that next cocksucking thing. 157 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,660 I've been directing way too much Mamet. 158 00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:52,621 - Okay, then I'll come back to New York on hiatus weeks. 159 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:55,249 - Hm. Ah, is she gonna be there? 160 00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:56,792 - She? 161 00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,795 Who? - Really? 162 00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:00,754 - You-- Who you mean? Bree? 163 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:04,967 - I'm sorry, is there another cast member you dated for three years? 164 00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:07,386 - Fair. Fair enough, um. 165 00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:11,056 Yes, apparently, she will be there. 166 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,933 - Great, this is so good for you guys. 167 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,936 You can go hike around the reservoir in your yoga pants-- - Oh boy. Now see. 168 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,313 Okay, yep, keep going. - and then you can go get an acai bowl, 169 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,356 have a sound bath, 170 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,525 but that's probably before the lymphatic massage. 171 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:22,150 - You get one more. 172 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,403 - Go over to In-N-Out Burger in your electric car-- 173 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:26,280 - Nice. - for the drive out to Ojai 174 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,283 for the Avocado Festival. - Mm, Nora, look at me. 175 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,953 Look at me. - This is so creepy. 176 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,746 - You are my girlfriend, 177 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:37,374 and I promise you, there is nothing to worry about. 178 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:41,253 - I remember you saying you guys were either always fighting or fucking. 179 00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:45,340 - [sighing] Okay, well, now we'll only be fighting because she's married, 180 00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:46,717 and you're the one I love. 181 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,804 ♪ "Hollywood Swinging" by Kool & The Gang playing ♪ 182 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,266 - Is-- Does-- Who works here? 183 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:56,393 ♪ 184 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,819 - Hi, uh, Reed Sterling. Here for a cast photo shoot. 185 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,864 - What show? - Uh, it's the reboot of, uh, Step Right Up. 186 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,824 It's much better this time. [laughs] 187 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,492 My character has a dark secret. 188 00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,454 - Do you have a dark secret? - No, I do not. 189 00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:16,830 - That's all I care about. 190 00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:19,583 ♪ What ya got to say ♪ 191 00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:26,340 ♪ Hollywood ♪ 192 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:27,966 ♪ Hollywood swinging ♪ 193 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,177 - Hey, how ya doin'? [thud] 194 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,428 Oh! [person grunts] 195 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:33,847 Oh god! 196 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:35,557 No, no, no, no. 197 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,184 No, no, no, no. [gasps] Oh, jeez. 198 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,228 I am so sorry! 199 00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:40,812 Oh god, are you, are you okay?! 200 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,689 - I am now. Kiss me. 201 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:45,442 - Oh, motherfucker! - [cackling] Oh, are you mad? 202 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:48,028 Are you gonna quit again for a career in the cinema? 203 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:52,366 Come on. [laughing] Oh god. 204 00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:55,911 - Come on, man. - [laughs] See-- Come on. 205 00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,538 - Jeez. - Seriously good to see you again. 206 00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,873 - Stop it. [laughing] You too. 207 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,501 I like this. - Yeah, I like the [whistling]. 208 00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:07,381 - Yeah... it's been a long time. - Yeah, you, uh, talk to Bree at all? 209 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:11,176 - Uh, not a word... in 15 years. - Oof, that's gonna be uncomfortable. 210 00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,427 [Reed sighs] Can I be there? 211 00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,346 [engine revving] 212 00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:16,723 - 'Sup, guys? Look who's all grown up. 213 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,102 It's me, Zack. 214 00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,896 - Wow, Zack! - Oh, hey. 215 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,190 - Yep, the three of us back together. 216 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,484 Only it's different now 'cause we've all had sex. 217 00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,194 How cool is that? 218 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,363 [engine revving] [tires screeching] 219 00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:34,366 ♪ anticipatory music playing ♪ 220 00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,036 [exhaling] 221 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:44,960 BREE: Come in! 222 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:46,962 Oh god, can you hurry? 223 00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,839 I'm stuck, I'm stuck, and I can't breathe. 224 00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:51,592 - Uh, well, um, Bree, it's me. 225 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,719 Uh, it's Reed. - Reed?! 226 00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:55,053 What are you doing? Get out of here! 227 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,305 - Sorry, yeah, well, you told me to come in. 228 00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:57,723 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Don't go, don't go! 229 00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:58,932 - What? - Can you just, like, before you go 230 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,142 can you please unhook this? - Uh, 231 00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:01,143 fine, I will help you-- - Please! 232 00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:03,478 - but you just have to understand that I'm in a committed relationship. 233 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,063 - Is she here with you right now? - No. 234 00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:06,356 - [yells] Then get me out of my fucking bra! 235 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,691 - Okay, all right, all right. Wow. - Jesus. 236 00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,610 - Okay, here we go, all right? [both muttering] 237 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,403 God, why this is really on here. - Did you-- Can you-- 238 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,947 What are you, 15? - Wait, I got it, I got it. 239 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,157 [Bree groaning in relief] There we are. 240 00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:15,991 - Oh my god. 241 00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:17,618 [Bree groaning] 242 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:21,705 Hi. 243 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,207 - I, I, I thought it would be weird 244 00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:25,334 if, uh, the first time we saw each other was on set. 245 00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:26,960 - That would be weird? 246 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,088 Okay. [exhales] 247 00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:33,091 So, thank you for that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're welcome. 248 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:36,345 - Oh, it's good to see you. You look good. 249 00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:40,057 - I do? - Yeah, your, your head, it-- And your gray hairs. 250 00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:42,309 - Yes, I'm, I'm in a, I'm in a committed relationship. 251 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,895 - Yeah, you said that. - Sorry, um-- 252 00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:46,480 - How are you? Tell me everything. 253 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,815 - Oh, f-f-fantastic, yeah. Doin' some theater. 254 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,193 I got a couple of film projects in the works-- - Uh-huh. 255 00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:55,572 - and, uh... just had lunch with Paul Thomas Anderson. 256 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:58,367 - Exciting, exciting. - Yeah, mm-hm. And, um, and, and you? 257 00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:00,202 I mean, how, how's life as a Duchess? 258 00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:02,496 - So fulfilling. - Mm. 259 00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:05,499 - It's cold and dark for much of the year there, 260 00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:08,794 so our people really look to me to be their warmth and light. 261 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,004 - Like the sun. 262 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:15,133 - Embarrassing when you say it like that, but yes. 263 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,095 To an entire nation of people, I am like the sun. 264 00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:20,597 - And your husband, the Duke? 265 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:26,436 - My husband is so sweet and so loving. - Mm-hm. Mm, good, good. 266 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,313 - And so miserable that I'm here-- 267 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,399 - Of course. - but he knows I don't wanna be the kind of person 268 00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:32,025 to let everybody down. 269 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,363 Know what I mean? 270 00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:40,033 - [sighs] Maybe we should talk about the way things ended. 271 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,577 - Oh, you mean how they cancelled our show 272 00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:43,996 because you quit to go and do a movie that nobody saw? 273 00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:45,163 - I mean us. 274 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,875 I get back from location, you left the country to marry a Duke 275 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,251 without so much as a goodbye. 276 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,753 - We were broken up, remember? - We broke up all the time. 277 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,297 Bree, we got back together, we broke up. 278 00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:55,048 It's something we did. - Why do you even care? 279 00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,009 To you I was always just some 280 00:11:57,009 --> 00:12:00,554 stupid, small-town pageant girl who didn't go to college. 281 00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:01,471 - How can you say that? 282 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,807 - Because you were always giving me acting notes. 283 00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,684 - I gave you notes to help you. 284 00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:07,186 - Well, if I needed so much help, 285 00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:08,520 how come I was nominated 286 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,607 for a People's Choice Award and you weren't? 287 00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:15,819 - Because the people fell for your contrived, little snort laugh. 288 00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:17,946 - Or because you were overacting. 289 00:12:20,199 --> 00:12:21,033 [scoffing] 290 00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:26,038 - How... dare you. 291 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,373 - You know what? 292 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,503 That wasn't fair. 293 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:35,839 I'm lashing out because you were always right. 294 00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:38,634 You were so fucking good all the time, 295 00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:42,304 and it just bothered me that the rest of us couldn't compete with that. 296 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:44,515 - Wow. 297 00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:47,434 That's very-- 298 00:12:49,645 --> 00:12:50,646 Thank you. 299 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:56,151 - And I'm reeling because, goddamnit, all I can think about is kissing you. 300 00:12:57,194 --> 00:13:00,989 - I-I'm in a committed-- - Now who's the good actor? 301 00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:05,494 [laughing and snorting] [Reed gasping] 302 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,372 Hey, Kelly, can I get a touchup? 303 00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,916 [Reed growling in anger] 304 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,966 ♪ 305 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,305 [crew chattering] 306 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,807 - Holy shit. 307 00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:30,394 - Hey, can we get real for a second? 308 00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:31,937 - Oh, I don't like the sound of this. 309 00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,273 - I used to be pretty bummed out that, when the show ended, 310 00:13:34,273 --> 00:13:35,899 I never heard from any of you guys again. 311 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:39,236 I mean, you played my parents and then you were just gone. 312 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:44,324 But now that I'm an adult... I just want you to know... that I get it. 313 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:48,537 - Okay. - You weren't my real dad. 314 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,163 You were just playing my dad. 315 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,458 - Right. - So, I shouldn't have been disappointed 316 00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:56,044 that I never heard from you after the show ended. 317 00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:57,171 Not even on my birthday. 318 00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,841 - Well, I'm really not into birthdays or kids. 319 00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:01,925 - But you liked me, though. 320 00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:04,553 - Sure, if that's how you wanna remember it. 321 00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:07,347 - But I was so cute. - Meh. 322 00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,392 - Hey, Reed, you thought I was a cute kid, right? 323 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:15,230 - You were an actor finding the truth in your character, 324 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:18,066 which is all that matters. 325 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,943 - That's a big pretentious no. 326 00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:24,406 - Hi. Hi guys. I'm Hannah Korman. I'm the new showrunner person. 327 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:25,949 - Hannah! Oh gosh! - Hey. 328 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:29,786 - The script is amazing. You are brilliant. I love you already. 329 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,122 - Oh my god. If I had you instead of my father, 330 00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:34,166 I could've saved thousands on Xanax and rehab. 331 00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,335 [Reed laughing] And Xanax again, whoopsies. 332 00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,837 - [laughing] See, that's the voice that we need. 333 00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,547 Very cable, very streaming. 334 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:44,426 And I can't tell you how much I love the twist at the end, 335 00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:47,513 Lawrence's dark secret. - Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. 336 00:14:47,513 --> 00:14:50,182 I've been obsessed with the show for as long as I can remember, 337 00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:52,059 and I'm kind of obsessed with you guys. 338 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:55,145 Like, Clay, your stand-up is so offensive 339 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:56,980 it's amazing you haven't been cancelled yet. 340 00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,607 - Well, not for lack of trying. 341 00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:01,443 - And, Reed, I actually saw you in that production of Twelfth Night 342 00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:04,446 in Providence a couple years ago. You were unbelievable. 343 00:15:07,199 --> 00:15:08,408 And, Zack, 344 00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:14,498 my little cousin has seen some of your movies. 345 00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:17,376 - Ah, sweet! Another member of the Zack Pack. 346 00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:19,378 [cell phone chiming] 347 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:26,593 - Hey, Elaine, what's up? - Hi, this is Elaine Kim from Hulu. 348 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:30,013 - Mm-hm, that's why I said-- - We have a significant situation. 349 00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:31,515 Are you someplace you can talk? 350 00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:34,560 - Um, cool. I'm with the cast right now. 351 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,311 - Yo, if that's your cousin, I can say what's up. 352 00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:38,021 - Why would it-- No. - Okay. 353 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,107 - Uh, let me call you back in two minutes. 354 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,861 Uh, okay, I gotta run, but it was so lovely meeting you guys. 355 00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:48,031 - You too. Oh. - And can't wait to make some magic. 356 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,283 - Yes, yes, yes! [Clay laughing] 357 00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:51,326 Thank you so much, Hannah. - I'll walk ya out. 358 00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:55,706 - Uh. - So, which one of my films is your cousin's favorite? 359 00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:59,126 - Oh, um, something about you being trapped underground? 360 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,294 - Oh, Minor Miner. 361 00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:03,297 I won best actor for that one at the Magic Mountain Film Festival. 362 00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:04,131 - Oh! 363 00:16:05,716 --> 00:16:07,718 ♪ 364 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,643 - So much hair. 365 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,771 - God, I've gotten old. - Wow. 366 00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,774 - I'd pay anything to have a 24-year-old ass. 367 00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:26,320 - Well, it only costs 300 bucks an hour. - You'd know. 368 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:30,365 - How you doin', Bree? - Hey, honey. How are you? 369 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:33,410 So good to see you. Are you still doing your comedy? 370 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,454 - Yeah, what can I say? It's in my blood. 371 00:16:35,454 --> 00:16:38,165 Along with Hep C. - Gross. 372 00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:40,584 I'm just glad you're still alive. - Well, actually, true story, 373 00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:43,086 one crazy night I died for six minutes. 374 00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:46,882 - Your stand-up's not for everyone. - Oh, that's funny, Duchess. 375 00:16:46,882 --> 00:16:49,384 - You don't have to call me that, honestly. 376 00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:50,219 Really, it's embarrassing. 377 00:16:50,219 --> 00:16:52,638 I was just telling my hair and makeup people that I really-- 378 00:16:52,638 --> 00:16:55,224 I need to be treated like a regular person again. 379 00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:56,475 ZACK: Hey, Bree. 380 00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:59,520 - Could I have a sparkling water with tiny bubbles, not coarse? 381 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:00,395 - What? 382 00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:02,856 - A sparkling water with tiny bubbles, not coarse. 383 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:06,193 - No, it's, it's me, Zack. - Zack. 384 00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:07,528 ZACK: Zack Jackson. 385 00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:13,158 - Oh, wow! [laughing] Zack Jackson all grown up. 386 00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:15,077 - Whoa, weird. 387 00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:18,372 That's the exact title of my soon-to-be-self-published memoir. 388 00:17:18,372 --> 00:17:21,166 I get real about my career, my struggle with ADHD-- 389 00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,585 Oh, cool! Look at that picture of a barn. 390 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:24,878 I can do a backflip. 391 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,755 Hey, did you think I was cute when I was a kid? 392 00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:29,383 - Sure... First couple seasons. 393 00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:33,345 - So, ladies and germs, here's what we are recreating. 394 00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:37,850 Let's get into position. Uh, you are there, and you're there. 395 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,476 You know what to do. 396 00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:44,314 Uh-huh, oh, great. Yeah, it's amazing. 397 00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:45,315 [fake laughing] 398 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:47,568 Okay, ha, everybody's hilarious. [fake laughing] 399 00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:50,612 Reed, give us the, uh, the Lawrence annoyed look. 400 00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:54,783 - Lawrence-- I, I am. - No, uh, with the arms. Hm. 401 00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:57,703 - Oh, hm, I-I'd rather not. 402 00:17:57,703 --> 00:18:00,789 It's, uh, it's, it's too broad. - Yeah, but we gotta match the old photo. 403 00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:03,083 - Yeah, but nobody does that in real life. 404 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:06,295 And, uh, the show is much more sophisticated this time. 405 00:18:06,295 --> 00:18:07,796 Totally different tone. 406 00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:11,216 So, this is more of an internal thing when I'm, when I'm-- 407 00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:13,594 See? 408 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,180 - You don't look annoyed. 409 00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:18,015 - Well, trust me, I'm gettin' there. 410 00:18:18,015 --> 00:18:19,516 - Dude, it's a photo. - Can you just do it? 411 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,310 - No, it is a slippery slope. 412 00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:22,978 It starts with one corny photo, 413 00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:24,855 and ends with a bucket of spaghetti on my head. 414 00:18:24,855 --> 00:18:27,232 - I liked that episode: "Mission Impastable." 415 00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,776 That was funny. CONNOR: Hey, you guys know where I can find the actors? 416 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,613 - We're the grownup actors. - Awesome, way to go. 417 00:18:32,613 --> 00:18:34,823 Uh, they told me to tell you guys to go to the showrunner's office. 418 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:38,660 - Why? - 'Cause it's my job to do stuff like that. 419 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,579 It's my first day. Still figuring it out. 420 00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:42,539 - Perfect. We will ask Hannah. 421 00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:44,791 She is the showrunner, she sets the tone, 422 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,419 and I highly doubt that she wants, "Mm." [camera clicking] 423 00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:50,714 PHOTOGRAPHER: There it is. - [gasps] Do not use that! 424 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,716 ♪ 425 00:18:58,055 --> 00:19:00,057 Hi Hannah-- - I'm sorry, I can't. 426 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,685 - Is that my favorite family? 427 00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:05,729 - Gordon. 428 00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:08,440 - Gordon? - Hey, it's me. 429 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,068 - Uh, [stammers] what are, what are you doing here? 430 00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:13,153 - I'm here to save the day. 431 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,780 I finally read this new script. 432 00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:16,740 You got jokes with no punchlines, 433 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:20,953 over-complicated characters, social commentary, blah, blah, blah, blah. 434 00:19:20,953 --> 00:19:22,079 I told her I'm gonna fix it. 435 00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:24,915 - I-I'm sorry, maybe you don't know this, but Hannah's our new showrunner. 436 00:19:24,915 --> 00:19:27,000 - Apparently not, 'cause she just quit. 437 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,502 - What? - I'm here. 438 00:19:28,502 --> 00:19:30,921 - Finally, the guy with the sandwiches. - Gordon? 439 00:19:30,921 --> 00:19:33,215 No, it's me, Zack. 440 00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:36,218 - What? Zack? No, oh my! 441 00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:39,221 You used to be so cute. - See? Told you. 442 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:42,558 - [laughs] And, Reed, I notice you got hit by the, uh, the great recession. 443 00:19:42,558 --> 00:19:44,726 Hey, that's a gold mine right there. 444 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:47,145 Put in a bunch of bald jokes about Lawrence. 445 00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:50,023 - No! No, no, no, we're, we're not gonna do that, uh, Gordon. GORDON: That's funny. I like that. 446 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:54,319 - We, We really like the new script. - No, nobody likes this. 447 00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:55,445 You know what the problem is? 448 00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:59,867 See, now the world is just a mess and people need comfort, right? 449 00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:02,369 They don't want kale salad, let's give 'em mac and cheese. 450 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:05,330 - Gordon, the characters finally sound real. 451 00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,957 - What are you talkin' about? 452 00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:10,419 Lawrence has always been real. It's based on me. 453 00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:12,212 You know the episode where you, you dropped, 454 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,256 you dropped the, the wallet in the open casket? 455 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:15,424 REED: Yeah. - That happened. 456 00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:17,551 Not to me, but I knew a guy that happened to. 457 00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:20,345 - And that was very, very funny in 2002, 458 00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,639 but it's been 20 years and the show needs to change. 459 00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,224 - It's gonna change, believe me. 460 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:26,643 This time, Cody gets his own cute little kid. 461 00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,104 - Ah, hell yeah! That's so sick. GORDON: Right? 462 00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:30,439 - A kid? No kid. 463 00:20:30,439 --> 00:20:33,025 I must've spent 10-grand on that fuckin' swear jar. 464 00:20:33,025 --> 00:20:35,652 - Well, you can't do a family show without a cute kid. 465 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:36,653 - We did before. 466 00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:39,448 - Wait, Gordon, you can't do that because then that would make me a grandma. 467 00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:40,991 GORDON: Oh boy, I hadn't even thought of that. 468 00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:43,619 Put in a bunch of old lady jokes about Josie. 469 00:20:43,619 --> 00:20:45,871 Yeah, like a, a walk-in tub and stuff. 470 00:20:45,871 --> 00:20:49,082 - No, I'm barely in my forties! Shut up. 471 00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:51,919 - Okay, um, I'm sorry, Gordon, um, 472 00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:56,673 we are only doing the version that we have signed on for. 473 00:20:57,382 --> 00:20:58,217 - Really? 474 00:20:58,217 --> 00:20:59,051 - Yeah. 475 00:20:59,885 --> 00:21:00,886 - I see. 476 00:21:02,888 --> 00:21:06,600 And if we don't... then what? 477 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,936 You gonna quit... again? 478 00:21:09,353 --> 00:21:11,688 Hm? Is that what's gonna happen? 479 00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,273 What, you're all gonna quit this time? 480 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,942 - Oh, um. - Well. - Well. 481 00:21:14,942 --> 00:21:18,153 BREE: Not necessarily, but-- - Yes, we are all going to quit. 482 00:21:18,153 --> 00:21:18,987 - Reed. 483 00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:22,658 - Who the fuck do you think you are? 484 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:27,871 This is my show. I own the rights. I'm in charge. 485 00:21:27,871 --> 00:21:31,500 So, if that's not okay with you, then-- Hey, you know what? 486 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:33,836 Fuck your quitting, I'll just fold up the tent, 487 00:21:33,836 --> 00:21:35,379 shave the bearded lady. 488 00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:38,507 I'll be very happy to go back to my beautiful home in Bel Air. 489 00:21:38,507 --> 00:21:41,718 So, you can tell me right now, you're in or you're out. 490 00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:46,849 - I'm scared. - Okay. 491 00:21:46,849 --> 00:21:49,726 - What are you doing? - We need to apologize to him. 492 00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:50,686 - Yeah. 493 00:21:50,686 --> 00:21:54,857 - I'm hearing you, I'm listening, and I got this completely under control. 494 00:21:54,857 --> 00:21:57,484 All right? Just trust me. 495 00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:02,364 [inhaling and chuckling] 496 00:22:03,574 --> 00:22:04,616 Well, look at you. 497 00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:07,744 Actin' like you A-Rod or some shit 498 00:22:08,412 --> 00:22:11,081 when I'm the only ruthless muthafucka standin' here. 499 00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:14,376 - W-What is he doing? - I'll tell you what the fuck I'm doing. 500 00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,128 You bring back the girl, 501 00:22:16,128 --> 00:22:19,464 or you ain't never gon' see this family ever again. 502 00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:23,051 ♪ 503 00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:24,678 Let's roll, y'all. 504 00:22:26,722 --> 00:22:28,265 Dis muthafucka. [groans] 505 00:22:28,265 --> 00:22:29,725 BREE: Reed! 506 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,690 [Reed exhaling] - Are you out of your mind?! 507 00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:38,025 - Okay. - What the fuck, Reed?! 508 00:22:38,025 --> 00:22:39,693 - Okay, I admit the character took over. 509 00:22:39,693 --> 00:22:41,778 - Will he really shut down the show? - Nah, nah. I think he's bluffing. 510 00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:44,031 - You think he's bluffing?! What if he's not?! 511 00:22:44,031 --> 00:22:47,242 What if this all ends because you pretended to be a ruthless motherfucker? 512 00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:50,579 - Why are you the one freaking out? - Because I need this show! 513 00:22:50,579 --> 00:22:52,289 - Oh my god, are you kiddin' me? 514 00:22:52,289 --> 00:22:54,291 You're, You're the last one who needs this show. 515 00:22:54,291 --> 00:22:55,751 You can just go back to being a Duchess. 516 00:22:55,751 --> 00:22:57,127 - I can't. - Why not? 517 00:22:57,127 --> 00:22:59,671 - Because I'm not a Duchess anymore! [Bree knocking at door] 518 00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:02,633 Anders? - Bree! 519 00:23:02,633 --> 00:23:04,468 - Ingrid's not at her desk. 520 00:23:04,468 --> 00:23:07,596 - Oh, what, uh, what brings you here? - [sighs] It happened again. 521 00:23:07,596 --> 00:23:11,225 I went into the village to try to connect with these stoic people 522 00:23:11,225 --> 00:23:14,478 and someone threw a pinecone at my head and called me a Klün-Hore. 523 00:23:14,853 --> 00:23:17,272 - That means Clown Whore. - I know what it means! 524 00:23:17,272 --> 00:23:20,859 I'm trying to be a good Duchess, but they just don't accept outsiders. 525 00:23:20,859 --> 00:23:22,528 - Perhaps we can talk about this later. 526 00:23:22,528 --> 00:23:24,404 - No, I wanna talk about it now! 527 00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:26,949 I want you to-- Oh my god, are you not wearing pants?! 528 00:23:26,949 --> 00:23:29,743 - [grunts] Well, let's not, uh-- - Is that Ingrid down there? 529 00:23:29,743 --> 00:23:32,120 INGRID: We're in love, Klün-Hore! [Bree gasping] 530 00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:33,205 ANDERS: Uh, darling, I, I think that-- 531 00:23:33,205 --> 00:23:35,666 - Go to hell, Anders, and fuck off, Ingrid! 532 00:23:35,666 --> 00:23:37,292 I never liked you! 533 00:23:38,126 --> 00:23:40,754 Well, I did, but I don't anymore! 534 00:23:42,714 --> 00:23:45,050 My marriage is over and I'm broke. 535 00:23:45,050 --> 00:23:46,885 - You're broke? Well, how did that happen? 536 00:23:46,885 --> 00:23:49,763 - Fjordstad divorce law. They're on the Kettle System. 537 00:23:50,806 --> 00:23:53,267 A woman can only take what she can fit in a kettle. 538 00:23:54,643 --> 00:23:55,644 - I'm so sorry. 539 00:23:55,644 --> 00:23:57,938 - You guys all have things to fall back on. 540 00:23:57,938 --> 00:24:02,109 I don't... I am so pathetic. 541 00:24:02,109 --> 00:24:05,571 - You wanna hear pathetic? My life's a fuckin' mess. 542 00:24:05,571 --> 00:24:08,365 Three months ago, Andy Dick told me I was outta control. 543 00:24:08,365 --> 00:24:09,408 - Ooh. 544 00:24:09,992 --> 00:24:11,910 - Yeah, I got fired from my last teen movie. 545 00:24:12,911 --> 00:24:16,957 Apparently, "guys in high school don't have hair plugs." 546 00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:19,459 - [clears throat] Well, um, 547 00:24:21,295 --> 00:24:24,006 as I am the actor who left this troupe 548 00:24:24,006 --> 00:24:25,632 for greener pastures, 549 00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:29,887 you might enjoy learning that my last paying job over a year ago 550 00:24:30,429 --> 00:24:33,557 was the voice... of a hemorrhoid. 551 00:24:34,683 --> 00:24:36,768 - When I was 17, 552 00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:40,647 I stole $2,000 worth of Air Jordans from a Foot Locker. 553 00:24:41,607 --> 00:24:43,025 - Not what we're doin', man. 554 00:24:43,025 --> 00:24:45,319 - No. - Okay, c-cool. 555 00:24:45,319 --> 00:24:46,945 You guys left this in there. 556 00:24:52,284 --> 00:24:54,244 REED: Remember how excited we were 557 00:24:54,244 --> 00:24:57,289 when this was the billboard of us on Sunset Boulevard? 558 00:24:57,289 --> 00:24:59,666 - We raced there at lunch to see it. 559 00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:03,045 - And we posed exactly the same way hoping someone would notice. 560 00:25:03,045 --> 00:25:05,797 - Remember that guy asked you to autograph his t-shirt? 561 00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:09,718 - Oh god. I remember that was the first time I ever signed an autograph. 562 00:25:09,718 --> 00:25:12,429 Granted, he thought I was Damon Wayans. [laughing] 563 00:25:12,429 --> 00:25:13,847 - Yeah, I don't remember any of this. 564 00:25:13,847 --> 00:25:16,475 - You were sick. - You were at school. - We couldn't find you. 565 00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:20,103 - [exhaling] Okay, fuck it. 566 00:25:20,896 --> 00:25:24,399 BREE: Where are you going? - Back to Gordon's to eat shit. 567 00:25:24,399 --> 00:25:28,403 I screwed you guys out of this once, I'm not gonna do it again. 568 00:25:29,571 --> 00:25:31,448 - Yo, see you guys later. 569 00:25:31,448 --> 00:25:33,325 Gotta go take this box to Hannah's house. 570 00:25:33,325 --> 00:25:34,493 - Reed, wait! 571 00:25:36,453 --> 00:25:39,456 [knocking at door] ALL: Hi. 572 00:25:39,456 --> 00:25:42,668 - What the f-- - Hi, um, I'm Bree. 573 00:25:42,668 --> 00:25:44,920 We haven't met yet. - Yeah, I'm a big fan. 574 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:50,050 - Oh... thanks, that's so sweet. [laughing] What was I saying? 575 00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:51,927 - What the hell are you guys doing here? 576 00:25:51,927 --> 00:25:54,304 - Oh-- - Hannah, we need you to stay. 577 00:25:54,304 --> 00:25:55,472 - Guys, I can't. 578 00:25:55,472 --> 00:25:58,267 I-I would love to, but Gordon wasn't supposed to be there, okay? 579 00:25:58,267 --> 00:25:59,768 So, it's just-- It's a non-starter. 580 00:25:59,768 --> 00:26:02,145 - I don't think you understand. I need this. 581 00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:05,482 I need somewhere to go during the day, or bad shit finds me. 582 00:26:05,482 --> 00:26:07,693 - Hannah, we all need this. 583 00:26:07,693 --> 00:26:09,987 [sighing] 584 00:26:09,987 --> 00:26:13,031 - No, no. I can't, I can't. I can't work with him every day. 585 00:26:13,031 --> 00:26:16,577 He's just-- He's so-- - Stubborn and he's narcissistic. 586 00:26:16,577 --> 00:26:19,454 We know. All right, we're tired of the drama. 587 00:26:19,454 --> 00:26:23,083 I promise you, we will always, always be in your corner. 588 00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:26,795 - Yeah, and help you fight his terrible ideas, like adding a kid. 589 00:26:26,795 --> 00:26:28,005 - Or making me a grandma. 590 00:26:28,005 --> 00:26:30,174 - You're saying-- Are you, Are you saying you'd support me? 591 00:26:30,174 --> 00:26:31,842 - Absolutely. - No matter what? 592 00:26:31,842 --> 00:26:33,844 REED: No matt-- - Oh my god! Fuck that guy. 593 00:26:34,803 --> 00:26:36,471 - I mean, that would infuriate him. 594 00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:39,766 - Come on, Hannah... We need you to Step-- 595 00:26:39,766 --> 00:26:41,310 - Oh, don't say it. REED: Right. 596 00:26:41,310 --> 00:26:42,394 HANNAH: Please kill me. REED: Up. 597 00:26:42,394 --> 00:26:43,228 - Ugh. 598 00:26:44,188 --> 00:26:45,689 ♪ 599 00:26:49,735 --> 00:26:50,569 - Okay. [Bree gasping] 600 00:26:50,569 --> 00:26:51,445 - Yes? HANNAH: I'll do it. 601 00:26:51,445 --> 00:26:52,738 [all exclaiming] I'll try. 602 00:26:52,738 --> 00:26:54,072 REED: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 603 00:26:54,072 --> 00:26:56,200 [laughing] Oh, you're the best. Oh, thank you. 604 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,410 - And I-- You know, I got a little ramped up there. 605 00:26:58,410 --> 00:26:59,786 I promise you, Gordon, 606 00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:01,330 he's not that bad when you get to know him. - No. 607 00:27:01,330 --> 00:27:04,750 CLAY: Yeah. - Oh, I got to know him pretty well for about seven years 608 00:27:04,750 --> 00:27:06,460 until he dropped me off at ballet class one time 609 00:27:06,460 --> 00:27:08,962 and he started flirting with my super-skinny teacher. 610 00:27:08,962 --> 00:27:12,049 And then he moved in with her and her super creepy son, Seth, 611 00:27:12,049 --> 00:27:15,761 and then he created a television show all about his new step-family 612 00:27:15,761 --> 00:27:19,014 that acted like his daughter never existed. 613 00:27:21,058 --> 00:27:26,813 - Um... are you telling us that Gordon is your father? 614 00:27:27,147 --> 00:27:31,693 - Yeah... but I guess my childhood didn't give him enough material, right? 615 00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:34,321 Maybe my scoliosis brace, and my cystic acne, 616 00:27:34,321 --> 00:27:36,114 and going to the father-daughter dance 617 00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:38,742 with my mother's hairdresser wasn't funny enough for him. 618 00:27:39,660 --> 00:27:42,162 But we're not gonna let him write me out this time. 619 00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:43,539 - Oh shit. 620 00:27:43,539 --> 00:27:46,416 - So, the big twist at the end of the pilot-- 621 00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:50,712 - Dear Lord, Lawrence's dark secret is you. 622 00:27:51,421 --> 00:27:54,633 [Zack breathing heavily] - I'm here. 623 00:27:55,843 --> 00:27:56,677 What'd I miss? 624 00:27:56,677 --> 00:27:59,304 ♪ "Re-Do" by Modern Baseball playing ♪ 625 00:27:59,304 --> 00:28:01,723 ♪ Maybe change by name ♪ 626 00:28:02,933 --> 00:28:05,686 ♪ Report the losses, grab the claim ♪ 627 00:28:05,686 --> 00:28:07,813 ♪ It's a shame, it's such a shame ♪ 628 00:28:07,813 --> 00:28:09,982 ♪ We're pissing away our time ♪ 629 00:28:09,982 --> 00:28:13,151 ♪ 'Cause we're pissing away these beers ♪ 630 00:28:13,151 --> 00:28:15,946 ♪ No monumental moment ever came from saying ♪ 631 00:28:15,946 --> 00:28:18,407 ♪ "Come on, dude, just take one more shot" ♪ 632 00:28:18,407 --> 00:28:22,953 ♪ Try to, try to forget ♪ 633 00:28:22,953 --> 00:28:25,581 ♪ That your bones will dismantle ♪ 634 00:28:27,875 --> 00:28:30,878 [musical flourish] 635 00:28:30,878 --> 00:28:33,881 [fanfare] 636 00:28:38,051 --> 00:28:40,429 - I am focused, I am on top of things-- 637 00:28:40,429 --> 00:28:41,889 MAN: Bree, you missed your cue! 638 00:28:41,889 --> 00:28:43,765 - Shit. This is your fault! 639 00:28:45,058 --> 00:28:46,685 That's not the actress playing your daughter, is it? 640 00:28:46,685 --> 00:28:47,644 REED: I wouldn't think so. 641 00:28:47,644 --> 00:28:50,147 Her character description was frazzled, unkempt, and zaftig. 642 00:28:50,147 --> 00:28:54,151 - A special welcome to the newest member of our cast, Timberly Fox. 643 00:28:54,610 --> 00:28:58,989 Timberly made quite a splash on a reality dating show called-- 644 00:28:58,989 --> 00:29:01,450 - Fuck Buddy Mountain. GORDON: Fuck Buddy Mountain. 645 00:29:02,618 --> 00:29:04,953 - Your mom still comes to set with you every day. 646 00:29:04,953 --> 00:29:06,371 ZACK: She's been coming to set with me my whole life. 647 00:29:06,371 --> 00:29:09,082 CLAY: Dude, that's creepy. - Could you say something to my mom? 648 00:29:09,082 --> 00:29:10,167 - Yeah, what the fuck. 649 00:29:11,043 --> 00:29:12,628 ZACK'S MOM: Come in! 650 00:29:13,629 --> 00:29:15,255 [purring] -Oh boy. 651 00:29:15,255 --> 00:29:17,424 - What if Zack finds out? - Finds what out? 652 00:29:17,424 --> 00:29:20,260 - Uh, that I couldn't talk to your mom yet. 653 00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:22,179 - Too hard, huh? - No, no, I wouldn't say that. 654 00:29:22,179 --> 00:29:23,305 - Not that. 655 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,599 - Did you read the rewrite? They added a scene. 656 00:29:25,599 --> 00:29:26,975 We're in bed. - Oh! 657 00:29:26,975 --> 00:29:28,268 REED: That's actually kind of racy 658 00:29:28,268 --> 00:29:30,062 compared to how tame we had to keep it on network. 659 00:29:30,771 --> 00:29:32,439 - What is that? - Nothing. It's nothing. 660 00:29:32,439 --> 00:29:33,774 - Doesn't feel like nothing! 661 00:29:33,774 --> 00:29:36,026 I think you're confused because of our history 662 00:29:36,026 --> 00:29:37,694 and I think you still have feelings for me. 663 00:29:37,694 --> 00:29:40,239 - I do not still have feelings for you. 664 00:29:40,239 --> 00:29:42,074 I am in a committed relationship. 665 00:29:42,074 --> 00:29:45,953 - Right, with "Nora" who's a "real person" in "New York City." 666 00:29:46,411 --> 00:29:48,121 - Well this can't be good. 667 00:29:48,121 --> 00:29:50,040 - Guess what? I'm on mushrooms. 668 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,001 - I'm coming to get you. Tell me exactly what you see. 669 00:29:53,001 --> 00:29:54,878 - When my eyes are open, I see a fence. 670 00:29:54,878 --> 00:29:56,463 When they're closed, dragons. 671 00:29:56,839 --> 00:29:59,424 - Bree? [groans] Shit. 672 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:01,510 - Die, dragon! - Whoa! 673 00:30:02,636 --> 00:30:04,471 - You have this superpower, man. 674 00:30:04,471 --> 00:30:06,807 You actually have the rare gift of being fuckin' funny. 675 00:30:06,807 --> 00:30:08,392 You could make millions of people laugh. 676 00:30:08,392 --> 00:30:10,727 And to put that out into the world, 677 00:30:10,727 --> 00:30:13,438 that is as good and honorable thing as a man can do. 678 00:30:13,438 --> 00:30:15,774 - Come on, guys, let's bring it in. "Step Right Up" on three. 679 00:30:15,774 --> 00:30:18,193 - No reason to do that. - All right. 680 00:30:18,193 --> 00:30:20,153 One, two, three, "Step Right Up"! 681 00:30:21,196 --> 00:30:23,115 - The comedy cavalry has arrived. 682 00:30:23,115 --> 00:30:24,408 - Good morning! ALAN: Sorry we're late. 683 00:30:24,408 --> 00:30:26,660 We've been wandering in Palm Desert for 40 years. 684 00:30:26,660 --> 00:30:28,912 - We don't need a bunch of dinosaurs in the writer's room. 685 00:30:28,912 --> 00:30:30,038 - It's so funny you say that. 686 00:30:30,038 --> 00:30:32,291 Alan ran the last two seasons of "Dinosaurs" on ABC. 687 00:30:32,291 --> 00:30:35,836 - Yeah, again, wrote for giant puppets is not the mic drop you think it is. 688 00:30:35,836 --> 00:30:37,880 ♪ 52197

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