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00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,009
♪ anticipatory music playing ♪
2
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,608
- You're a writer, aren't you?
3
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,485
- Yeah. How'd you know?
4
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,570
- Writers don't have to get
all done up for meetings.
5
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,030
Not like actresses.
6
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,908
You guys can wear anything.
7
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,619
- Thank you?
- Mm-hm.
8
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,747
- Hannah, we're ready for you.
- Great, coming.
9
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,416
[exhaling loudly]
10
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- Oh, um.
- What?
11
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ACTRESS: You--
- Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
12
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:50,425
Um... can you help me?
13
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:55,597
- So, my team tells me you've done some
really original stuff in the indie space.
14
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,683
- Uh, thank you. I try.
15
00:00:57,683 --> 00:01:00,102
- Well, we're definitely on the lookout
for breakthrough shows,
16
00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,687
the edgier the better.
17
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:02,771
So, what do ya got?
18
00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,899
- I wanna reboot the old sitcom
Step Right Up!
19
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,570
- [laughing] Step Right--
Are you serious?
20
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,654
HANNAH:
Dead serious.
21
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And I wanna do it with the original cast.
22
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,700
- Am I... thinking of the right one?
23
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,994
Can somebody pull up a clip?
- Oh, yeah.
24
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,121
[keys clicking]
25
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,873
- Got it!
[employees groaning]
26
00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:23,125
JOSIE: [on video]
Hey, how was the skate park?
27
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:25,127
- Great! Dad taught me
how to do a kickflip.
28
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,546
[Josie gasps]
- Oh, I can teach anyone
how to skateboard.
29
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:28,964
[Josie laughing]
30
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- Oy.
[audience laughing]
31
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- Well, almost anyone.
32
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:36,972
- Oh, Lawrence, honey, what happened?
33
00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:39,850
- Well, I, I wanted to make
a good impression on my new stepson.
34
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,810
- And instead, he made it on the concrete.
35
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,353
[yelps]
[audience laughing]
36
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♪ Hello friend, it may take some time ♪
37
00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:50,694
♪ But there's no hill
that we can't climb ♪
38
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:54,531
♪ Love and laughs
will get us all through ♪
39
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,701
♪ Just one thing that you gotta do ♪
40
00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,579
♪ And that's, step right up ♪
41
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,789
♪ Just step right up ♪
42
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,416
♪ Step right up ♪
43
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:05,584
♪ That's what you gotta do ♪
44
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:11,548
♪ Step... right... up ♪
45
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,092
- Now I remember.
46
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:16,094
My kids used to love that show.
47
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,554
- Your kids are great.
48
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,557
- Sir, it does surprisingly well
on our platform
49
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:23,185
with Family, Pop Culture,
Vicarious-Living,
50
00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:25,020
and Live-To-Laugh audience segments.
51
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:28,065
Average viewing time, 63 minutes.
52
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,234
- Are we sure that's not just people
leaving it on for their dogs?
53
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,235
- No, we track that.
54
00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,320
- Elaine just joined
the creative team from research.
55
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:37,574
I, I gotta say, it seems like
an odd choice from someone so edgy.
56
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:41,537
Y-You are the edgy one, right?
Or is that my 11:15?
57
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:45,040
- No, no, she's the one who did that movie
at South by Southwest I told you about.
58
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,543
What was it called?
- Thank you, um, for having seen it.
59
00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:48,836
It's called Cunt Saw.
60
00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:51,588
- Oh boy. Then I'm a little bit confused.
61
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,757
Why do you wanna do
something so traditional?
62
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,176
- Uh, yeah, um, god, it's hard to explain.
63
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,763
Okay, you know how in the old sitcom,
the characters always did the right thing?
64
00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:00,764
- Mm-hm.
65
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,975
- They don't do the right thing anymore.
66
00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:06,270
- Oh.
- You know, like, I fuck with it.
67
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,897
But in a fun way.
- Mm-hm.
68
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,942
I don't know.
It might be too edgy for you.
[employees laughing]
69
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,652
- You're talking to the guy who, uh,
70
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:16,029
greenlit the fifth season
of Handmaid's Tale.
71
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,031
- So brave. So brave.
72
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,242
EXECUTIVE:
Do we know if the cast is available?
73
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:21,660
- Or alive?
74
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:25,038
- Well, according to Wikipedia,
75
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,665
Step Right Up was cancelled when
76
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:29,209
Reed Sterling left
to pursue a film career,
77
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,045
but, for whatever reason,
no film or TV lately.
78
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,463
CASTING ASSISTANT:
That's the deal, you cocksucker.
79
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:36,216
You can take it, or I beat you
to death with a fucking bat.
80
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,469
- Well, look at you.
Actin' like you A-Rod or some shit
81
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:43,098
when I'm the ruthless muthafucka
standin' here with a .38 snubnose.
82
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,101
You know what?
Um, actually, I'm thinking
83
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:47,853
that perhaps I should infuse him
84
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,814
with a layer of weariness
and vulnerability.
85
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,566
CASTING ASSISTANT:
Maybe don't think.
86
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,068
- Well, not-not exactly what they taught
us at the Yale School of Drama.
87
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,486
CASTING ASSISTANT:
Thank you.
88
00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:03,368
- Bree Marie Jensen did a season
on a low budget sci-fi cable show
89
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,037
called StarBlast Five.
90
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,246
- Status?
91
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:10,167
- Captain, it has to be
the multi-camera spectrometer
92
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:10,959
and cryo-cooler.
93
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:12,961
I'll repair them as soon as I
94
00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,215
nourish my larvae.
95
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,383
ELAINE:
Says she then left Hollywood
96
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:22,221
to marry the Duke of a small
Nordic country named Fjordstad.
97
00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,805
And Clay Barber?
98
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,974
[camera clicks]
Arrested on a drug charge in 2011,
99
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,560
returned to stand-up comedy in 2014,
100
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,189
[camera clicks]
charged with disorderly conduct in 2017.
101
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,191
Now back doing stand-up.
102
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,652
- Do we know what happened to the kid?
103
00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:41,323
- Uh, Zack Jackson starred in
a string of straight-to-video teen movies:
104
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:44,868
including Kid Congressman, Teenstronaut,
105
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,329
and Hunchback of Notre Dame High.
106
00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:52,084
I like this idea,
but are people still doing reboots?
107
00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:54,503
- Let's see, Fuller House,
Saved by the Bell,
108
00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:56,839
iCarly, Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl.
109
00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,007
- Party of Five, Party Down,
One Day at a Time.
110
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,551
- Boy Meets World,
How I Met Your Father,
111
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:01,426
The Wonder Years.
112
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,636
- Battlestar Galactica.
113
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:03,971
- Doogie Howser, The Odd Couple.
114
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:07,474
- Perry Mason, Hawaii Five-O,
Veronica Mars, Fresh Prince.
115
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,601
Fraggle Rock.
- Fraggle Rock.
116
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,855
- Makes me feel a little bit safer.
117
00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,274
What the hell,
118
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:17,818
let's remake something original.
119
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,821
♪ theme music playing ♪
120
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:28,078
NORA: Hi, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
REED: Hi, babe.
121
00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,872
- Our overpaid lead threw a fit.
122
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:33,208
She said that her understudy
was sneezing on her.
123
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:36,378
- You, You know who was just eating here?
Like, right over there?
124
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:38,797
Paul Thomas Anderson.
- Oh, let me guess:
125
00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:40,549
his lunch went on a half hour too long.
126
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,467
- Come on, j-just because Magnolia
127
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,135
dared to--
- Mm-hm.
128
00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,011
- You know what?
129
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,220
I'm not gonna have this fight again.
- Okay,
130
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,055
I have to be back
at the theater in 40 minutes,
131
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,974
so what's this big thing
you wanted to discuss?
132
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:51,518
- [sighs] Okay, remember I told you
they were rebooting my old show?
133
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,061
- Mm-hm.
- I read the script.
134
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:56,023
- And?
- And I am shocked, but it's really good.
135
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:59,067
It's smart dialogue,
and nuanced relationships.
136
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,235
Ooh, and get this:
137
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:03,655
My character had
a dark secret the entire time.
138
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,824
- And it's still a comedy?
- Here's what's brilliant.
139
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,744
It is both the funniest thing
you've ever read,
140
00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,287
and you won't laugh once.
141
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:11,788
- I thought you hated this show.
142
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:14,166
I mean, I've heard you blame it
for ruining your career.
143
00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:17,544
- The show itself was bad...
but there's a new writer.
144
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,671
And so now there's none
of that old, hacky,
145
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:22,508
set-up/punchline, set-up/punchline thing.
That was all Gordon.
146
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,302
[sighing]
So, I think I'm gonna do it.
147
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:29,973
- Wow.
- I, I, I want more people
to see the potential I had
148
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,767
when I came out
of the Yale School of Drama.
- Oh my god,
149
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,185
you have such a large penis,
150
00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,853
why do you always
have to bring up Yale?
151
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,939
- [sighs] Okay, listen.
152
00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:38,899
It shoots in L.A.,
153
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,026
so... you could always join me
154
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,486
after the play opens.
- You know I can't.
155
00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,112
I mean, once this
fuckin' play opens,
156
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:47,699
I go straight into rehearsals
on that next cocksucking thing.
157
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,660
I've been directing way too much Mamet.
158
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:52,621
- Okay, then I'll come back
to New York on hiatus weeks.
159
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:55,249
- Hm. Ah, is she gonna be there?
160
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:56,792
- She?
161
00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,795
Who?
- Really?
162
00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:00,754
- You-- Who you mean? Bree?
163
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:04,967
- I'm sorry, is there another cast member
you dated for three years?
164
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:07,386
- Fair. Fair enough, um.
165
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:11,056
Yes, apparently, she will be there.
166
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,933
- Great, this is so good for you guys.
167
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,936
You can go hike around
the reservoir in your yoga pants--
- Oh boy. Now see.
168
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,313
Okay, yep, keep going.
- and then you can go get an acai bowl,
169
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,356
have a sound bath,
170
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,525
but that's probably before
the lymphatic massage.
171
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:22,150
- You get one more.
172
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,403
- Go over to In-N-Out Burger
in your electric car--
173
00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:26,280
- Nice.
- for the drive out to Ojai
174
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,283
for the Avocado Festival.
- Mm, Nora, look at me.
175
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,953
Look at me.
- This is so creepy.
176
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,746
- You are my girlfriend,
177
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:37,374
and I promise you,
there is nothing to worry about.
178
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:41,253
- I remember you saying you guys
were either always fighting or fucking.
179
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:45,340
- [sighing] Okay, well, now we'll only
be fighting because she's married,
180
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:46,717
and you're the one I love.
181
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,804
♪ "Hollywood Swinging"
by Kool & The Gang playing ♪
182
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,266
- Is-- Does-- Who works here?
183
00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:56,393
♪
184
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,819
- Hi, uh, Reed Sterling.
Here for a cast photo shoot.
185
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,864
- What show?
- Uh, it's the reboot
of, uh, Step Right Up.
186
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,824
It's much better this time. [laughs]
187
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,492
My character has a dark secret.
188
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,454
- Do you have a dark secret?
- No, I do not.
189
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:16,830
- That's all I care about.
190
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:19,583
♪ What ya got to say ♪
191
00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:26,340
♪ Hollywood ♪
192
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:27,966
♪ Hollywood swinging ♪
193
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,177
- Hey, how ya doin'?
[thud]
194
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,428
Oh!
[person grunts]
195
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:33,847
Oh god!
196
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:35,557
No, no, no, no.
197
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,184
No, no, no, no.
[gasps] Oh, jeez.
198
00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,228
I am so sorry!
199
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:40,812
Oh god, are you, are you okay?!
200
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,689
- I am now. Kiss me.
201
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:45,442
- Oh, motherfucker!
- [cackling] Oh, are you mad?
202
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:48,028
Are you gonna quit again
for a career in the cinema?
203
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:52,366
Come on. [laughing] Oh god.
204
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:55,911
- Come on, man.
- [laughs] See-- Come on.
205
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,538
- Jeez.
- Seriously good to see you again.
206
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,873
- Stop it. [laughing] You too.
207
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,501
I like this.
- Yeah, I like the [whistling].
208
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:07,381
- Yeah... it's been a long time.
- Yeah, you, uh, talk to Bree at all?
209
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:11,176
- Uh, not a word... in 15 years.
- Oof, that's gonna be uncomfortable.
210
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,427
[Reed sighs]
Can I be there?
211
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,346
[engine revving]
212
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:16,723
- 'Sup, guys? Look who's all grown up.
213
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,102
It's me, Zack.
214
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,896
- Wow, Zack!
- Oh, hey.
215
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,190
- Yep, the three of us back together.
216
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,484
Only it's different now
'cause we've all had sex.
217
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,194
How cool is that?
218
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,363
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
219
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:34,366
♪ anticipatory music playing ♪
220
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,036
[exhaling]
221
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:44,960
BREE:
Come in!
222
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:46,962
Oh god, can you hurry?
223
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,839
I'm stuck, I'm stuck, and I can't breathe.
224
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:51,592
- Uh, well, um, Bree, it's me.
225
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,719
Uh, it's Reed.
- Reed?!
226
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:55,053
What are you doing? Get out of here!
227
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,305
- Sorry, yeah, well,
you told me to come in.
228
00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:57,723
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Don't go, don't go!
229
00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:58,932
- What?
- Can you just, like, before you go
230
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,142
can you please unhook this?
- Uh,
231
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:01,143
fine, I will help you--
- Please!
232
00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:03,478
- but you just have to understand
that I'm in a committed relationship.
233
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,063
- Is she here with you right now?
- No.
234
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:06,356
- [yells] Then get me out
of my fucking bra!
235
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,691
- Okay, all right, all right. Wow.
- Jesus.
236
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,610
- Okay, here we go, all right?
[both muttering]
237
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,403
God, why this is really on here.
- Did you-- Can you--
238
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,947
What are you, 15?
- Wait, I got it, I got it.
239
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,157
[Bree groaning in relief]
There we are.
240
00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:15,991
- Oh my god.
241
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:17,618
[Bree groaning]
242
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:21,705
Hi.
243
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,207
- I, I, I thought it would be weird
244
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:25,334
if, uh, the first time we saw
each other was on set.
245
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:26,960
- That would be weird?
246
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,088
Okay. [exhales]
247
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:33,091
So, thank you for that.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're welcome.
248
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:36,345
- Oh, it's good to see you. You look good.
249
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:40,057
- I do?
- Yeah, your, your head, it--
And your gray hairs.
250
00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:42,309
- Yes, I'm, I'm in a,
I'm in a committed relationship.
251
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,895
- Yeah, you said that.
- Sorry, um--
252
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:46,480
- How are you? Tell me everything.
253
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,815
- Oh, f-f-fantastic, yeah.
Doin' some theater.
254
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,193
I got a couple of film projects
in the works--
- Uh-huh.
255
00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:55,572
- and, uh... just had lunch
with Paul Thomas Anderson.
256
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:58,367
- Exciting, exciting.
- Yeah, mm-hm. And, um, and, and you?
257
00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:00,202
I mean, how, how's life as a Duchess?
258
00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:02,496
- So fulfilling.
- Mm.
259
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:05,499
- It's cold and dark
for much of the year there,
260
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:08,794
so our people really look to me
to be their warmth and light.
261
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,004
- Like the sun.
262
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:15,133
- Embarrassing when you
say it like that, but yes.
263
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,095
To an entire nation of people,
I am like the sun.
264
00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:20,597
- And your husband, the Duke?
265
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:26,436
- My husband is
so sweet and so loving.
- Mm-hm. Mm, good, good.
266
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,313
- And so miserable that I'm here--
267
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,399
- Of course.
- but he knows I don't
wanna be the kind of person
268
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:32,025
to let everybody down.
269
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,363
Know what I mean?
270
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:40,033
- [sighs] Maybe we should talk
about the way things ended.
271
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,577
- Oh, you mean how they cancelled our show
272
00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:43,996
because you quit to go
and do a movie that nobody saw?
273
00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:45,163
- I mean us.
274
00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,875
I get back from location,
you left the country to marry a Duke
275
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,251
without so much as a goodbye.
276
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,753
- We were broken up, remember?
- We broke up all the time.
277
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,297
Bree, we got back together, we broke up.
278
00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:55,048
It's something we did.
- Why do you even care?
279
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,009
To you I was always just some
280
00:11:57,009 --> 00:12:00,554
stupid, small-town pageant girl
who didn't go to college.
281
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:01,471
- How can you say that?
282
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,807
- Because you were always
giving me acting notes.
283
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,684
- I gave you notes to help you.
284
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:07,186
- Well, if I needed so much help,
285
00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:08,520
how come I was nominated
286
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,607
for a People's Choice Award
and you weren't?
287
00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:15,819
- Because the people fell
for your contrived, little snort laugh.
288
00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:17,946
- Or because you were overacting.
289
00:12:20,199 --> 00:12:21,033
[scoffing]
290
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:26,038
- How... dare you.
291
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,373
- You know what?
292
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,503
That wasn't fair.
293
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:35,839
I'm lashing out because
you were always right.
294
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:38,634
You were so fucking good all the time,
295
00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:42,304
and it just bothered me that the rest
of us couldn't compete with that.
296
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:44,515
- Wow.
297
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:47,434
That's very--
298
00:12:49,645 --> 00:12:50,646
Thank you.
299
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:56,151
- And I'm reeling because, goddamnit,
all I can think about is kissing you.
300
00:12:57,194 --> 00:13:00,989
- I-I'm in a committed--
- Now who's the good actor?
301
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:05,494
[laughing and snorting]
[Reed gasping]
302
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,372
Hey, Kelly, can I get a touchup?
303
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,916
[Reed growling in anger]
304
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,966
♪
305
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,305
[crew chattering]
306
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,807
- Holy shit.
307
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:30,394
- Hey, can we get real for a second?
308
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:31,937
- Oh, I don't like the sound of this.
309
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,273
- I used to be pretty bummed out that,
when the show ended,
310
00:13:34,273 --> 00:13:35,899
I never heard from any of you guys again.
311
00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:39,236
I mean, you played my parents
and then you were just gone.
312
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:44,324
But now that I'm an adult...
I just want you to know... that I get it.
313
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:48,537
- Okay.
- You weren't my real dad.
314
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,163
You were just playing my dad.
315
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,458
- Right.
- So, I shouldn't have been disappointed
316
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:56,044
that I never heard from you
after the show ended.
317
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:57,171
Not even on my birthday.
318
00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,841
- Well, I'm really not
into birthdays or kids.
319
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:01,925
- But you liked me, though.
320
00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:04,553
- Sure, if that's how you
wanna remember it.
321
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:07,347
- But I was so cute.
- Meh.
322
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,392
- Hey, Reed, you thought
I was a cute kid, right?
323
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:15,230
- You were an actor finding
the truth in your character,
324
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:18,066
which is all that matters.
325
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,943
- That's a big pretentious no.
326
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:24,406
- Hi. Hi guys. I'm Hannah Korman.
I'm the new showrunner person.
327
00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:25,949
- Hannah! Oh gosh!
- Hey.
328
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:29,786
- The script is amazing.
You are brilliant. I love you already.
329
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,122
- Oh my god.
If I had you instead of my father,
330
00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:34,166
I could've saved thousands
on Xanax and rehab.
331
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,335
[Reed laughing]
And Xanax again, whoopsies.
332
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,837
- [laughing]
See, that's the voice that we need.
333
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,547
Very cable, very streaming.
334
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:44,426
And I can't tell you how much
I love the twist at the end,
335
00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:47,513
Lawrence's dark secret.
- Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.
336
00:14:47,513 --> 00:14:50,182
I've been obsessed with the show
for as long as I can remember,
337
00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:52,059
and I'm kind of obsessed with you guys.
338
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:55,145
Like, Clay, your stand-up is so offensive
339
00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:56,980
it's amazing you haven't
been cancelled yet.
340
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,607
- Well, not for lack of trying.
341
00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:01,443
- And, Reed, I actually saw you
in that production of Twelfth Night
342
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:04,446
in Providence a couple years ago.
You were unbelievable.
343
00:15:07,199 --> 00:15:08,408
And, Zack,
344
00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:14,498
my little cousin has seen
some of your movies.
345
00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:17,376
- Ah, sweet!
Another member of the Zack Pack.
346
00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:19,378
[cell phone chiming]
347
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:26,593
- Hey, Elaine, what's up?
- Hi, this is Elaine Kim from Hulu.
348
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:30,013
- Mm-hm, that's why I said--
- We have a significant situation.
349
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:31,515
Are you someplace you can talk?
350
00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:34,560
- Um, cool. I'm with the cast right now.
351
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,311
- Yo, if that's your cousin,
I can say what's up.
352
00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:38,021
- Why would it-- No.
- Okay.
353
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,107
- Uh, let me call you back in two minutes.
354
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,861
Uh, okay, I gotta run,
but it was so lovely meeting you guys.
355
00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:48,031
- You too. Oh.
- And can't wait to make some magic.
356
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,283
- Yes, yes, yes!
[Clay laughing]
357
00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:51,326
Thank you so much, Hannah.
- I'll walk ya out.
358
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:55,706
- Uh.
- So, which one of my films
is your cousin's favorite?
359
00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:59,126
- Oh, um, something about you
being trapped underground?
360
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,294
- Oh, Minor Miner.
361
00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:03,297
I won best actor for that one
at the Magic Mountain Film Festival.
362
00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:04,131
- Oh!
363
00:16:05,716 --> 00:16:07,718
♪
364
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,643
- So much hair.
365
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,771
- God, I've gotten old.
- Wow.
366
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,774
- I'd pay anything to have
a 24-year-old ass.
367
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:26,320
- Well, it only costs 300 bucks an hour.
- You'd know.
368
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:30,365
- How you doin', Bree?
- Hey, honey. How are you?
369
00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:33,410
So good to see you.
Are you still doing your comedy?
370
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,454
- Yeah, what can I say? It's in my blood.
371
00:16:35,454 --> 00:16:38,165
Along with Hep C.
- Gross.
372
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:40,584
I'm just glad you're still alive.
- Well, actually, true story,
373
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:43,086
one crazy night I died for six minutes.
374
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:46,882
- Your stand-up's not for everyone.
- Oh, that's funny, Duchess.
375
00:16:46,882 --> 00:16:49,384
- You don't have to
call me that, honestly.
376
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:50,219
Really, it's embarrassing.
377
00:16:50,219 --> 00:16:52,638
I was just telling my hair
and makeup people that I really--
378
00:16:52,638 --> 00:16:55,224
I need to be treated like
a regular person again.
379
00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:56,475
ZACK:
Hey, Bree.
380
00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:59,520
- Could I have a sparkling water
with tiny bubbles, not coarse?
381
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:00,395
- What?
382
00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:02,856
- A sparkling water
with tiny bubbles, not coarse.
383
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:06,193
- No, it's, it's me, Zack.
- Zack.
384
00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:07,528
ZACK:
Zack Jackson.
385
00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:13,158
- Oh, wow! [laughing]
Zack Jackson all grown up.
386
00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:15,077
- Whoa, weird.
387
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:18,372
That's the exact title
of my soon-to-be-self-published memoir.
388
00:17:18,372 --> 00:17:21,166
I get real about my career,
my struggle with ADHD--
389
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,585
Oh, cool!
Look at that picture of a barn.
390
00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:24,878
I can do a backflip.
391
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,755
Hey, did you think I was cute
when I was a kid?
392
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:29,383
- Sure... First couple seasons.
393
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:33,345
- So, ladies and germs,
here's what we are recreating.
394
00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:37,850
Let's get into position.
Uh, you are there, and you're there.
395
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,476
You know what to do.
396
00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:44,314
Uh-huh, oh, great.
Yeah, it's amazing.
397
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:45,315
[fake laughing]
398
00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:47,568
Okay, ha, everybody's hilarious.
[fake laughing]
399
00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:50,612
Reed, give us the, uh,
the Lawrence annoyed look.
400
00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:54,783
- Lawrence-- I, I am.
- No, uh, with the arms. Hm.
401
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:57,703
- Oh, hm, I-I'd rather not.
402
00:17:57,703 --> 00:18:00,789
It's, uh, it's, it's too broad.
- Yeah, but we gotta match the old photo.
403
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:03,083
- Yeah, but nobody does that in real life.
404
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:06,295
And, uh, the show is much
more sophisticated this time.
405
00:18:06,295 --> 00:18:07,796
Totally different tone.
406
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:11,216
So, this is more of an internal thing
when I'm, when I'm--
407
00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:13,594
See?
408
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,180
- You don't look annoyed.
409
00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:18,015
- Well, trust me, I'm gettin' there.
410
00:18:18,015 --> 00:18:19,516
- Dude, it's a photo.
- Can you just do it?
411
00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,310
- No, it is a slippery slope.
412
00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:22,978
It starts with one corny photo,
413
00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:24,855
and ends with a bucket
of spaghetti on my head.
414
00:18:24,855 --> 00:18:27,232
- I liked that episode:
"Mission Impastable."
415
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,776
That was funny.
CONNOR: Hey, you guys know
where I can find the actors?
416
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,613
- We're the grownup actors.
- Awesome, way to go.
417
00:18:32,613 --> 00:18:34,823
Uh, they told me to tell you guys
to go to the showrunner's office.
418
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:38,660
- Why?
- 'Cause it's my job
to do stuff like that.
419
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,579
It's my first day. Still figuring it out.
420
00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:42,539
- Perfect. We will ask Hannah.
421
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:44,791
She is the showrunner,
she sets the tone,
422
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,419
and I highly doubt that she wants, "Mm."
[camera clicking]
423
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:50,714
PHOTOGRAPHER: There it is.
- [gasps] Do not use that!
424
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,716
♪
425
00:18:58,055 --> 00:19:00,057
Hi Hannah--
- I'm sorry, I can't.
426
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,685
- Is that my favorite family?
427
00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:05,729
- Gordon.
428
00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:08,440
- Gordon?
- Hey, it's me.
429
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,068
- Uh, [stammers] what are,
what are you doing here?
430
00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:13,153
- I'm here to save the day.
431
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,780
I finally read this new script.
432
00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:16,740
You got jokes with no punchlines,
433
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:20,953
over-complicated characters,
social commentary, blah, blah, blah, blah.
434
00:19:20,953 --> 00:19:22,079
I told her I'm gonna fix it.
435
00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:24,915
- I-I'm sorry, maybe you don't know this,
but Hannah's our new showrunner.
436
00:19:24,915 --> 00:19:27,000
- Apparently not, 'cause she just quit.
437
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,502
- What?
- I'm here.
438
00:19:28,502 --> 00:19:30,921
- Finally, the guy with the sandwiches.
- Gordon?
439
00:19:30,921 --> 00:19:33,215
No, it's me, Zack.
440
00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:36,218
- What? Zack? No, oh my!
441
00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:39,221
You used to be so cute.
- See? Told you.
442
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:42,558
- [laughs] And, Reed, I notice you got hit
by the, uh, the great recession.
443
00:19:42,558 --> 00:19:44,726
Hey, that's a gold mine right there.
444
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:47,145
Put in a bunch of bald jokes
about Lawrence.
445
00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:50,023
- No! No, no, no, we're, we're
not gonna do that, uh, Gordon.
GORDON: That's funny. I like that.
446
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:54,319
- We, We really like the new script.
- No, nobody likes this.
447
00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:55,445
You know what the problem is?
448
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:59,867
See, now the world is just a mess
and people need comfort, right?
449
00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:02,369
They don't want kale salad,
let's give 'em mac and cheese.
450
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:05,330
- Gordon, the characters
finally sound real.
451
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,957
- What are you talkin' about?
452
00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:10,419
Lawrence has always been real.
It's based on me.
453
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:12,212
You know the episode
where you, you dropped,
454
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,256
you dropped the, the wallet
in the open casket?
455
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:15,424
REED: Yeah.
- That happened.
456
00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:17,551
Not to me, but I knew
a guy that happened to.
457
00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:20,345
- And that was very, very funny in 2002,
458
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,639
but it's been 20 years
and the show needs to change.
459
00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,224
- It's gonna change, believe me.
460
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:26,643
This time, Cody gets
his own cute little kid.
461
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,104
- Ah, hell yeah! That's so sick.
GORDON: Right?
462
00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:30,439
- A kid? No kid.
463
00:20:30,439 --> 00:20:33,025
I must've spent 10-grand
on that fuckin' swear jar.
464
00:20:33,025 --> 00:20:35,652
- Well, you can't do a family show
without a cute kid.
465
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:36,653
- We did before.
466
00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:39,448
- Wait, Gordon, you can't do that
because then that would make me a grandma.
467
00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:40,991
GORDON:
Oh boy, I hadn't even thought of that.
468
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:43,619
Put in a bunch of old lady
jokes about Josie.
469
00:20:43,619 --> 00:20:45,871
Yeah, like a, a walk-in tub and stuff.
470
00:20:45,871 --> 00:20:49,082
- No, I'm barely in my forties! Shut up.
471
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:51,919
- Okay, um, I'm sorry, Gordon, um,
472
00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:56,673
we are only doing the version
that we have signed on for.
473
00:20:57,382 --> 00:20:58,217
- Really?
474
00:20:58,217 --> 00:20:59,051
- Yeah.
475
00:20:59,885 --> 00:21:00,886
- I see.
476
00:21:02,888 --> 00:21:06,600
And if we don't... then what?
477
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,936
You gonna quit... again?
478
00:21:09,353 --> 00:21:11,688
Hm? Is that what's gonna happen?
479
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,273
What, you're all gonna quit this time?
480
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,942
- Oh, um.
- Well.
- Well.
481
00:21:14,942 --> 00:21:18,153
BREE: Not necessarily, but--
- Yes, we are all going to quit.
482
00:21:18,153 --> 00:21:18,987
- Reed.
483
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:22,658
- Who the fuck do you think you are?
484
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:27,871
This is my show.
I own the rights. I'm in charge.
485
00:21:27,871 --> 00:21:31,500
So, if that's not okay with you,
then-- Hey, you know what?
486
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:33,836
Fuck your quitting,
I'll just fold up the tent,
487
00:21:33,836 --> 00:21:35,379
shave the bearded lady.
488
00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:38,507
I'll be very happy to go back
to my beautiful home in Bel Air.
489
00:21:38,507 --> 00:21:41,718
So, you can tell me right now,
you're in or you're out.
490
00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:46,849
- I'm scared.
- Okay.
491
00:21:46,849 --> 00:21:49,726
- What are you doing?
- We need to apologize to him.
492
00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:50,686
- Yeah.
493
00:21:50,686 --> 00:21:54,857
- I'm hearing you, I'm listening,
and I got this completely under control.
494
00:21:54,857 --> 00:21:57,484
All right? Just trust me.
495
00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:02,364
[inhaling and chuckling]
496
00:22:03,574 --> 00:22:04,616
Well, look at you.
497
00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:07,744
Actin' like you A-Rod or some shit
498
00:22:08,412 --> 00:22:11,081
when I'm the only ruthless
muthafucka standin' here.
499
00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:14,376
- W-What is he doing?
- I'll tell you what the fuck I'm doing.
500
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,128
You bring back the girl,
501
00:22:16,128 --> 00:22:19,464
or you ain't never gon' see
this family ever again.
502
00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:23,051
♪
503
00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:24,678
Let's roll, y'all.
504
00:22:26,722 --> 00:22:28,265
Dis muthafucka. [groans]
505
00:22:28,265 --> 00:22:29,725
BREE:
Reed!
506
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,690
[Reed exhaling]
- Are you out of your mind?!
507
00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:38,025
- Okay.
- What the fuck, Reed?!
508
00:22:38,025 --> 00:22:39,693
- Okay, I admit the character took over.
509
00:22:39,693 --> 00:22:41,778
- Will he really shut down the show?
- Nah, nah. I think he's bluffing.
510
00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:44,031
- You think he's bluffing?!
What if he's not?!
511
00:22:44,031 --> 00:22:47,242
What if this all ends because you
pretended to be a ruthless motherfucker?
512
00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:50,579
- Why are you the one freaking out?
- Because I need this show!
513
00:22:50,579 --> 00:22:52,289
- Oh my god, are you kiddin' me?
514
00:22:52,289 --> 00:22:54,291
You're, You're the last one
who needs this show.
515
00:22:54,291 --> 00:22:55,751
You can just go back to being a Duchess.
516
00:22:55,751 --> 00:22:57,127
- I can't.
- Why not?
517
00:22:57,127 --> 00:22:59,671
- Because I'm not a Duchess anymore!
[Bree knocking at door]
518
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:02,633
Anders?
- Bree!
519
00:23:02,633 --> 00:23:04,468
- Ingrid's not at her desk.
520
00:23:04,468 --> 00:23:07,596
- Oh, what, uh, what brings you here?
- [sighs] It happened again.
521
00:23:07,596 --> 00:23:11,225
I went into the village to try
to connect with these stoic people
522
00:23:11,225 --> 00:23:14,478
and someone threw a pinecone at my head
and called me a Klün-Hore.
523
00:23:14,853 --> 00:23:17,272
- That means Clown Whore.
- I know what it means!
524
00:23:17,272 --> 00:23:20,859
I'm trying to be a good Duchess,
but they just don't accept outsiders.
525
00:23:20,859 --> 00:23:22,528
- Perhaps we can talk about this later.
526
00:23:22,528 --> 00:23:24,404
- No, I wanna talk about it now!
527
00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:26,949
I want you to-- Oh my god,
are you not wearing pants?!
528
00:23:26,949 --> 00:23:29,743
- [grunts] Well, let's not, uh--
- Is that Ingrid down there?
529
00:23:29,743 --> 00:23:32,120
INGRID: We're in love, Klün-Hore!
[Bree gasping]
530
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:33,205
ANDERS:
Uh, darling, I, I think that--
531
00:23:33,205 --> 00:23:35,666
- Go to hell, Anders,
and fuck off, Ingrid!
532
00:23:35,666 --> 00:23:37,292
I never liked you!
533
00:23:38,126 --> 00:23:40,754
Well, I did, but I don't anymore!
534
00:23:42,714 --> 00:23:45,050
My marriage is over and I'm broke.
535
00:23:45,050 --> 00:23:46,885
- You're broke?
Well, how did that happen?
536
00:23:46,885 --> 00:23:49,763
- Fjordstad divorce law.
They're on the Kettle System.
537
00:23:50,806 --> 00:23:53,267
A woman can only take
what she can fit in a kettle.
538
00:23:54,643 --> 00:23:55,644
- I'm so sorry.
539
00:23:55,644 --> 00:23:57,938
- You guys all have
things to fall back on.
540
00:23:57,938 --> 00:24:02,109
I don't... I am so pathetic.
541
00:24:02,109 --> 00:24:05,571
- You wanna hear pathetic?
My life's a fuckin' mess.
542
00:24:05,571 --> 00:24:08,365
Three months ago,
Andy Dick told me I was outta control.
543
00:24:08,365 --> 00:24:09,408
- Ooh.
544
00:24:09,992 --> 00:24:11,910
- Yeah, I got fired
from my last teen movie.
545
00:24:12,911 --> 00:24:16,957
Apparently, "guys in high school
don't have hair plugs."
546
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:19,459
- [clears throat] Well, um,
547
00:24:21,295 --> 00:24:24,006
as I am the actor who left this troupe
548
00:24:24,006 --> 00:24:25,632
for greener pastures,
549
00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:29,887
you might enjoy learning that
my last paying job over a year ago
550
00:24:30,429 --> 00:24:33,557
was the voice... of a hemorrhoid.
551
00:24:34,683 --> 00:24:36,768
- When I was 17,
552
00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:40,647
I stole $2,000 worth of Air Jordans
from a Foot Locker.
553
00:24:41,607 --> 00:24:43,025
- Not what we're doin', man.
554
00:24:43,025 --> 00:24:45,319
- No.
- Okay, c-cool.
555
00:24:45,319 --> 00:24:46,945
You guys left this in there.
556
00:24:52,284 --> 00:24:54,244
REED:
Remember how excited we were
557
00:24:54,244 --> 00:24:57,289
when this was the billboard
of us on Sunset Boulevard?
558
00:24:57,289 --> 00:24:59,666
- We raced there at lunch to see it.
559
00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:03,045
- And we posed exactly the same way
hoping someone would notice.
560
00:25:03,045 --> 00:25:05,797
- Remember that guy asked you
to autograph his t-shirt?
561
00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:09,718
- Oh god. I remember that was
the first time I ever signed an autograph.
562
00:25:09,718 --> 00:25:12,429
Granted, he thought I was Damon Wayans.
[laughing]
563
00:25:12,429 --> 00:25:13,847
- Yeah, I don't remember any of this.
564
00:25:13,847 --> 00:25:16,475
- You were sick.
- You were at school.
- We couldn't find you.
565
00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:20,103
- [exhaling] Okay, fuck it.
566
00:25:20,896 --> 00:25:24,399
BREE: Where are you going?
- Back to Gordon's to eat shit.
567
00:25:24,399 --> 00:25:28,403
I screwed you guys out of this once,
I'm not gonna do it again.
568
00:25:29,571 --> 00:25:31,448
- Yo, see you guys later.
569
00:25:31,448 --> 00:25:33,325
Gotta go take this box to Hannah's house.
570
00:25:33,325 --> 00:25:34,493
- Reed, wait!
571
00:25:36,453 --> 00:25:39,456
[knocking at door]
ALL: Hi.
572
00:25:39,456 --> 00:25:42,668
- What the f--
- Hi, um, I'm Bree.
573
00:25:42,668 --> 00:25:44,920
We haven't met yet.
- Yeah, I'm a big fan.
574
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:50,050
- Oh... thanks, that's so sweet.
[laughing] What was I saying?
575
00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:51,927
- What the hell are you guys doing here?
576
00:25:51,927 --> 00:25:54,304
- Oh--
- Hannah, we need you to stay.
577
00:25:54,304 --> 00:25:55,472
- Guys, I can't.
578
00:25:55,472 --> 00:25:58,267
I-I would love to, but Gordon
wasn't supposed to be there, okay?
579
00:25:58,267 --> 00:25:59,768
So, it's just-- It's a non-starter.
580
00:25:59,768 --> 00:26:02,145
- I don't think you understand.
I need this.
581
00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:05,482
I need somewhere to go during the day,
or bad shit finds me.
582
00:26:05,482 --> 00:26:07,693
- Hannah, we all need this.
583
00:26:07,693 --> 00:26:09,987
[sighing]
584
00:26:09,987 --> 00:26:13,031
- No, no. I can't, I can't.
I can't work with him every day.
585
00:26:13,031 --> 00:26:16,577
He's just-- He's so--
- Stubborn and he's narcissistic.
586
00:26:16,577 --> 00:26:19,454
We know.
All right, we're tired of the drama.
587
00:26:19,454 --> 00:26:23,083
I promise you, we will always,
always be in your corner.
588
00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:26,795
- Yeah, and help you fight
his terrible ideas, like adding a kid.
589
00:26:26,795 --> 00:26:28,005
- Or making me a grandma.
590
00:26:28,005 --> 00:26:30,174
- You're saying--
Are you, Are you saying you'd support me?
591
00:26:30,174 --> 00:26:31,842
- Absolutely.
- No matter what?
592
00:26:31,842 --> 00:26:33,844
REED: No matt--
- Oh my god! Fuck that guy.
593
00:26:34,803 --> 00:26:36,471
- I mean, that would infuriate him.
594
00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:39,766
- Come on, Hannah...
We need you to Step--
595
00:26:39,766 --> 00:26:41,310
- Oh, don't say it.
REED: Right.
596
00:26:41,310 --> 00:26:42,394
HANNAH: Please kill me.
REED: Up.
597
00:26:42,394 --> 00:26:43,228
- Ugh.
598
00:26:44,188 --> 00:26:45,689
♪
599
00:26:49,735 --> 00:26:50,569
- Okay.
[Bree gasping]
600
00:26:50,569 --> 00:26:51,445
- Yes?
HANNAH: I'll do it.
601
00:26:51,445 --> 00:26:52,738
[all exclaiming]
I'll try.
602
00:26:52,738 --> 00:26:54,072
REED:
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
603
00:26:54,072 --> 00:26:56,200
[laughing]
Oh, you're the best. Oh, thank you.
604
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,410
- And I-- You know, I got
a little ramped up there.
605
00:26:58,410 --> 00:26:59,786
I promise you, Gordon,
606
00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:01,330
he's not that bad
when you get to know him.
- No.
607
00:27:01,330 --> 00:27:04,750
CLAY: Yeah.
- Oh, I got to know him pretty well
for about seven years
608
00:27:04,750 --> 00:27:06,460
until he dropped me off
at ballet class one time
609
00:27:06,460 --> 00:27:08,962
and he started flirting
with my super-skinny teacher.
610
00:27:08,962 --> 00:27:12,049
And then he moved in with her
and her super creepy son, Seth,
611
00:27:12,049 --> 00:27:15,761
and then he created a television show
all about his new step-family
612
00:27:15,761 --> 00:27:19,014
that acted like
his daughter never existed.
613
00:27:21,058 --> 00:27:26,813
- Um... are you telling us
that Gordon is your father?
614
00:27:27,147 --> 00:27:31,693
- Yeah... but I guess my childhood
didn't give him enough material, right?
615
00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:34,321
Maybe my scoliosis brace,
and my cystic acne,
616
00:27:34,321 --> 00:27:36,114
and going to the father-daughter dance
617
00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:38,742
with my mother's hairdresser
wasn't funny enough for him.
618
00:27:39,660 --> 00:27:42,162
But we're not gonna let him
write me out this time.
619
00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:43,539
- Oh shit.
620
00:27:43,539 --> 00:27:46,416
- So, the big twist
at the end of the pilot--
621
00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:50,712
- Dear Lord,
Lawrence's dark secret is you.
622
00:27:51,421 --> 00:27:54,633
[Zack breathing heavily]
- I'm here.
623
00:27:55,843 --> 00:27:56,677
What'd I miss?
624
00:27:56,677 --> 00:27:59,304
♪ "Re-Do" by Modern Baseball playing ♪
625
00:27:59,304 --> 00:28:01,723
♪ Maybe change by name ♪
626
00:28:02,933 --> 00:28:05,686
♪ Report the losses, grab the claim ♪
627
00:28:05,686 --> 00:28:07,813
♪ It's a shame, it's such a shame ♪
628
00:28:07,813 --> 00:28:09,982
♪ We're pissing away our time ♪
629
00:28:09,982 --> 00:28:13,151
♪ 'Cause we're pissing away these beers ♪
630
00:28:13,151 --> 00:28:15,946
♪ No monumental moment
ever came from saying ♪
631
00:28:15,946 --> 00:28:18,407
♪ "Come on, dude,
just take one more shot" ♪
632
00:28:18,407 --> 00:28:22,953
♪ Try to, try to forget ♪
633
00:28:22,953 --> 00:28:25,581
♪ That your bones will dismantle ♪
634
00:28:27,875 --> 00:28:30,878
[musical flourish]
635
00:28:30,878 --> 00:28:33,881
[fanfare]
636
00:28:38,051 --> 00:28:40,429
- I am focused,
I am on top of things--
637
00:28:40,429 --> 00:28:41,889
MAN:
Bree, you missed your cue!
638
00:28:41,889 --> 00:28:43,765
- Shit. This is your fault!
639
00:28:45,058 --> 00:28:46,685
That's not the actress
playing your daughter, is it?
640
00:28:46,685 --> 00:28:47,644
REED:
I wouldn't think so.
641
00:28:47,644 --> 00:28:50,147
Her character description was
frazzled, unkempt, and zaftig.
642
00:28:50,147 --> 00:28:54,151
- A special welcome to the newest member
of our cast, Timberly Fox.
643
00:28:54,610 --> 00:28:58,989
Timberly made quite a splash
on a reality dating show called--
644
00:28:58,989 --> 00:29:01,450
- Fuck Buddy Mountain.
GORDON: Fuck Buddy Mountain.
645
00:29:02,618 --> 00:29:04,953
- Your mom still comes to set
with you every day.
646
00:29:04,953 --> 00:29:06,371
ZACK: She's been coming
to set with me my whole life.
647
00:29:06,371 --> 00:29:09,082
CLAY: Dude, that's creepy.
- Could you say something to my mom?
648
00:29:09,082 --> 00:29:10,167
- Yeah, what the fuck.
649
00:29:11,043 --> 00:29:12,628
ZACK'S MOM:
Come in!
650
00:29:13,629 --> 00:29:15,255
[purring]
-Oh boy.
651
00:29:15,255 --> 00:29:17,424
- What if Zack finds out?
- Finds what out?
652
00:29:17,424 --> 00:29:20,260
- Uh, that I couldn't
talk to your mom yet.
653
00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:22,179
- Too hard, huh?
- No, no, I wouldn't say that.
654
00:29:22,179 --> 00:29:23,305
- Not that.
655
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,599
- Did you read the rewrite?
They added a scene.
656
00:29:25,599 --> 00:29:26,975
We're in bed.
- Oh!
657
00:29:26,975 --> 00:29:28,268
REED:
That's actually kind of racy
658
00:29:28,268 --> 00:29:30,062
compared to how tame
we had to keep it on network.
659
00:29:30,771 --> 00:29:32,439
- What is that?
- Nothing. It's nothing.
660
00:29:32,439 --> 00:29:33,774
- Doesn't feel like nothing!
661
00:29:33,774 --> 00:29:36,026
I think you're confused
because of our history
662
00:29:36,026 --> 00:29:37,694
and I think you
still have feelings for me.
663
00:29:37,694 --> 00:29:40,239
- I do not still have feelings for you.
664
00:29:40,239 --> 00:29:42,074
I am in a committed relationship.
665
00:29:42,074 --> 00:29:45,953
- Right, with "Nora" who's a "real person"
in "New York City."
666
00:29:46,411 --> 00:29:48,121
- Well this can't be good.
667
00:29:48,121 --> 00:29:50,040
- Guess what?
I'm on mushrooms.
668
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,001
- I'm coming to get you.
Tell me exactly what you see.
669
00:29:53,001 --> 00:29:54,878
- When my eyes are open,
I see a fence.
670
00:29:54,878 --> 00:29:56,463
When they're closed, dragons.
671
00:29:56,839 --> 00:29:59,424
- Bree? [groans] Shit.
672
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:01,510
- Die, dragon!
- Whoa!
673
00:30:02,636 --> 00:30:04,471
- You have this superpower, man.
674
00:30:04,471 --> 00:30:06,807
You actually have the rare gift
of being fuckin' funny.
675
00:30:06,807 --> 00:30:08,392
You could make millions of people laugh.
676
00:30:08,392 --> 00:30:10,727
And to put that out into the world,
677
00:30:10,727 --> 00:30:13,438
that is as good and honorable thing
as a man can do.
678
00:30:13,438 --> 00:30:15,774
- Come on, guys, let's bring it in.
"Step Right Up" on three.
679
00:30:15,774 --> 00:30:18,193
- No reason to do that.
- All right.
680
00:30:18,193 --> 00:30:20,153
One, two, three, "Step Right Up"!
681
00:30:21,196 --> 00:30:23,115
- The comedy cavalry has arrived.
682
00:30:23,115 --> 00:30:24,408
- Good morning!
ALAN: Sorry we're late.
683
00:30:24,408 --> 00:30:26,660
We've been wandering
in Palm Desert for 40 years.
684
00:30:26,660 --> 00:30:28,912
- We don't need a bunch of dinosaurs
in the writer's room.
685
00:30:28,912 --> 00:30:30,038
- It's so funny you say that.
686
00:30:30,038 --> 00:30:32,291
Alan ran the last two seasons
of "Dinosaurs" on ABC.
687
00:30:32,291 --> 00:30:35,836
- Yeah, again, wrote for giant puppets
is not the mic drop you think it is.
688
00:30:35,836 --> 00:30:37,880
♪
52197
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