Original subtitles

[female narrator]Previously on "Recipes for Love and Murder..."

You are fired.

I've been instructed by the head of the newspaper association

that I'm part of to run an advice column.

And so, I'm afraid it's Tannie Maria's Recipes out,

and Tannie Sara's Advice Column in.

I could write it.

It's quite a stack!

Let's see who needs our help.

[Martine]If my husband...

he'll kill me.

I promised to love and obey this man.

My husband. But the love has dried up.

[utensil clatters]

[Martine]I have a lot of happy hours

with my friend, when he is out.

[gunshots]

You bastard!

...fucking kill you, you bastard!

[Maria]If you are with a man who abuses you,

you should leave him.

What's that then?

Just a mutton curry recipe I wanna try.

Mm.

Goodnight!

The column's yours.

It seems as though you might have a few fans online.

And... they're all addressed to Tannie Maria.

What's my surname doing there?

I thought it looked more professional, Maria Purvis.

No, no, no. I-I'm just, I'm Tannie Maria. That's all.

Take it down! Take it, take it down!

I think my friend's husband is going to kill her.

If I kill him in self-defence of her,

how long will I go to jail?

Her name is Martine Burger. Her husband's Dirk.

I found this at the crime scene.

That's my lady with the ducks.

Anna Pretorius.

You need to come with us and answer questions

regarding the murder of Martine Burger.

-Anna. -Oh, oh, oh.

Oh. Oh!

♪ Be my husband man I be your wife ♪

♪ Loving and honour you the rest of your life yeah ♪

♪ If you promise me you'll be my man yeah ♪

♪ If you promise me you'll be my man yeah ♪

♪ Please don't treat me so doggone mean ♪

♪ Please don't treat me so doggone mean... ♪

♪ Please don't treat me so now doggone mean yeah ♪

♪ You're the meanest man I ever see ♪

♪ Oh daddy now love me good ♪

♪ Oh daddy love me good yeah ♪♪

My only statement is that I loved her.

Love is not a crime.

Go. Go, go, go. Watch you head.

[engine revving]

[theme music]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

[speaking in foreign language]

Did you talk to them?

I couldn't.

Lawrence.

[speaking in foreign language]

You have to go to the station.

-What would I tell them? -You'll tell them what you know.

Show them you've got nothing to hide.

[speaking in foreign language]

Don't make trouble.

[indistinct chatter]

If there's a killer on the loose,

surely we should all be informed.

What if he comes through my bedroom window

in the middle of the night?

You should be so lucky.

Officer, what Tannie Elna is trying to say is,

one of the Koop's most beloved family member has been slain.

We deserve answers.

Listen, I just want you all to know

that the police is dealing with this

with the utmost urgency, okay?

You bloody bitch!

I was the only one who really truly loved her.

She was mine, okay?

I gave my wife everything she needed!

You gave her plenty she didn't want.

-Oh, okay. -Whoa, whoa!

[gunshot]

You're being charged with reckless endangerment.

-What? -Come on.

Is everybody okay?

Cops in this town are a joke.

Everyone, it's not a boxing arena, let's go.

All right, listen, please offer everyone here

a free coffee from our deli, huh?

To help with your nerves.

Just-just a one.

-Detective. -Yes?

-Is everything under control? -Yes.

Well, if I can help with anything,

anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask.

Thank you, Mr. Van Wyk.

[Elna] Detective. Detective.

I-I have some information...

-Detective. Detective! -Yes!

Martine was in my shop last week

and she spent a long time

looking at a book about astrology,

and just I wonder if that might have affected things?

I highly doubt it.

I would like to make a statement.

Of course, you would.

Ah, detective, when you have a minute,

I-I need to speak to you about the letters

Martine wrote to me, well, to the Gazette.

Join the queue.

[telephone ringing]

Just take her to an interview room.

and remind her that she's been charged

with assaulting a police officer.

You don't want any more charges, you better be forthcoming.

Yes, sir, I'll interrogate her.

He should really put a raw steak on that.

[Dirk]Hey! It wasn't me!

[indistinct]. It wasn't me!

Let's go.

[indistinct chatter]

Hi. Can I help you?

May I speak to the detective, please?

-Detective. -Yeah?

You are really popular today.

-Can I help you? -Ms. Burger...

Ms. Martine, I was her gardener,

my mother was her domestic.

Okay, someone will take your statement, just sit down.

We're a little bit busy right now.

It's like a damn soap opera in here.

You sweetie me I will sweetie you right back, okay?

You have no idea how hard I'm fighting

to keep this business running, sweetie.

And so, I'll, um, mail you the proof of payment

first thing on Monday, okay?

Thank you. Bye.

Thank you.

Maria, how are you?

I just can't stop thinking of Martine.

And that all of these...

and all of these are people needing help.

Ah, Jess. You are a lifesaver.

And just in time to help me grill Maria.

So did you get some good one on one time

with that gorgeous detective?

He was a wee bit rude to me actually.

Such a typical cishet male.

Regardt says he's always telling him what to do.

Isn't he Regardt's boss?

I suppose the detective was a bit busy.

Dirk and Anna were both there.

Dirk shot at the sky.

Why on earth would he do that?

Just lock him up and throw away the key!

Due process. Fair trial.

Yeah, yeah, all that. But still...

-Arrogance of youth! -What was that?

I said I can't wait to read your article

on the talent competition.

Woo-hoo! Pow-pow! Talent!

Okay.

Martine Burger.

We found a fire poker with fingerprints

that are being tested right now.

Yes.

Early medical records indicate

she had sleeping pills in her system,

as well as the blow to the back of the head.

We'll have a full autopsy tomorrow.

Her husband, um, said he was out drinking

with a large group of farmers,

and continued drinking at the house of Fanie Le Roux.

He passed out there, and only found Martine

when he arrived home at 5:00.

Did you verify all this?

Yes, sir, Piet and I saw Dirk and Fanie

leaving the bar about 11:00 that night.

And Fanie's wife confirmed

they arrived there straight from the bar.

Dirk only left this morning when she chased him away.

We have statements from everyone who saw her the day she died,

including her husband

and her best friend-lesbian love interest.

[Khaya]Okay, so, the next thing is

we just need to let forensics do their job.

Piet, I want you to go to the Koop.

Just find out if we there's anyone

who spoke to her yesterday.

Are you gonna drop by the Gazette?

Oh, yeah, the crucially important letters.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

You know who is charming, and really good at his job?

-Regardt? -Piet!

He's so good with people,

such an asset to that police force.

He's sweet but he's not really my type.

Although he does have a very shapely arse.

I wasn't talking about type, Hattie.

I'm hardly out here looking to find a policeman to date, am I?

I just wanted to make sure they knew about Martine's letters.

Oh, I don't want to date a policeman either,

but I'd let Khaya Meyer interrogate me

any day of the week.

Well, if she gets arrested, at least we'll know why.

[chuckles]

[Gideon]Dear, Tannie Maria.

Boy, do I need your help.

Got any good tips for seduction?

It's hard work being a farmer,

we're up before dawn

trying to look after these animals of ours.

There are no time to think about anything

when your livestock are struggling.

[engine revving]

-Hi, Nigel. -Good morning, Gideon.

Is this the poor bird?

Yeah, poor girl.

Just can't keep her meals down.

Thanks for coming out so quickly.

I always prioritise your animals, Gideon.

That really means a lot, Nige.

[Gideon]So I need a technique

that doesn't beat about the bush.

The easy way to let somebody know that...

And that you hope they think you're kak lekker too.

Yours...

[phone vibrates]

Dirk is being released on bail!

He's only been charged for the shooting this morning!

That's outrageous.

Maria, you should demand

that they read the letters she wrote you!

The detective knows where I am if he wants me.

Besides, I have work to do.

Absolutely, Maria, your people need you.

Jessie, I'm sure the police are following all the angles.

Fine, I'll interview the abuser myself.

Since you asked, Jessie...

Did you file the article about the Saturday's farmer's market?

And the profile about the youth entrepreneur of the month?

I'll finish it today, I promise.

Fine. Then you can go and try and get an interview.

That's all.

Don't try and be all Carte Blanche

investigator about it.

Thanks, Hattie. You're the best, bye!

And you are leaving me too?

I'm sorry, Hattie.

I've got to see a chicken about an egg.

You know how it is.

[instrumental music]

Sorry. Have you seen Dirk Burger?

No, sorry, we haven't.

Okay, thank you.

He'll be there... Damn it.

I suppose you think this is funny.

Hilarious, aren't you?

[hen clucking]

If you don't stop hiding your eggs

like you're the Easter Bunny

I'll going to have to lock you up at night

with the other hens.

I thought so.

I need three more. Come on, show me the way.

Fishpond? This way?

Sorry. Have you seen Dirk Burger?

Tall, blonde, mean eyes.

Thank you.

Sorry. Have you seen Dirk Burger?

Who?

[sighs]

[dial tone ringing]

Hi, Tannie M.? Are you busy?

I could really use your help on the Burger story.

I'm trying to track down Dirk,

but the house is still a crime scene.

I'd love to, Jessie, but--

I think you and I should go down to the Koop

and interview Martine's colleagues.

I'm-I'm busy with a seduction recipe.

I feel a responsibility to help the people...

that have written to me.

You're better with that kind of journalism anyway.

Will you let me know what you find out?

-Okay. [Maria]Bye, bye.

[dial tone ringing]

[Jessie]So, you weren't a part of Dirk's interrogation?

Ah, no. But even if I was, I can't tell you about it.

No, of course not.

I was just wondering, was Dirk the one that called it in?

Did he say that he found a body?

Was there a fight?

It's, um, it's hard finding the body of someone you love.

Oh, no, no, no. He was an abusive piece of crap to her.

And that's why we need to build a case against him.

Oh, it's such a good profile on this guy.

I found my dad's body.

[instrumental music]

[phone ringing]

Oh, God! Sorry. My ma.

Hello? I'm kinda busy.

Just an interview.

Okay, fine.

Riley's sick. I need to go fetch him at his school.

-Sorry about-- -I think you, you should go.

Thanks for lunch.

[engine revving]

[instrumental music]

[Maria]In order to woo your potential paramour,

you'll need a great deal of courage,

a freshly washed face,

all your baking regulars, and some eggs from happy hen.

Well, she's definitely doing much better.

Thanks for coming back to check on her, Nige.

Anytime.

[Maria]Beat the vanilla extract, milk, eggs and oil

for about one minute 'til the mixture is creamy.

Then into that creamy mixture you add the dry ingredients.

Slowly, gently.

[kettle whistles]

[Maria]Adding your boiling water

will make it thinner than you expect.

Just trust me.

I know cakes.

Now for the yum part.

You're going to completely cover your cake in chocolate.

Nigel.

Do you wanna come in?

I have cake.

I can't say no to that.

[Maria]Allow to bake for 30 minutes,

and watch how nicely things rise.

You'll know it's done

if you poke a stick into it and the stick comes out dry.

Once the cake has cooled,

smother it in chocolate ganache

and then garnish.

[instrumental music]

[Maria]And there you have it.

A cake that could win over even your worst enemy.

If you can't straight up look them in the eyes

and say "I really like you," well, the cake will.

Oh, and P.S.

For the full effect

always serve with fresh coated cream.

[instrumental music]

[engine revving]

[music continues]

How big a slice would you like?

Well, how big can I go?

Yeah, that's the one.

I thought I might drop a slice into poor Anna.

Shame her blood sugar must be so low

all the shock she's had.

[speaking in foreign language]

How can we help?

My son Lawrence was here before.

-He said I needed to-- -Hold on.

Just have a seat over here. I'll be with you a minute.

Wou-would you like come cake?

Yes. Thank you.

I promise I won't interfere with the investigation,

I'm just here on cake business.

Alright, Maria, five minutes.

Things aren't looking good for her.

[Maria] Hello!

No cops. Don't worry. Just cake.

[instrumental music]

Thank you.

Anna, what happened to Martine?

Tienie's dead.

I know. I'm sorry.

How did she die?

It's my fault.

Why is it your fault?

Tell me.

I'm your friend. I only want to help.

I know.

I got there too late.

I felt something wrong.

I knew.

And I got in my bakkie and I rushed there

but she was already dead.

Just like the ducks.

There she was lying on the ground...

and she wasn't moving.

He was just staring at me...

Dirk.

Dirk was there?

You need to get a lawyer.

I don't care if I go to jail.

It doesn't matter anymore.

Tienie's dead.

-And Dirk? -Oh.

You should press charges against Dirk,

he tried to attack you earlier.

Yeah, well, Dirk better watch out.

I'm not talking to you.

[Piet]I'm not talking to you either, dear.

I'm just here to tell Maria the detective is on his way.

Anna. Call a lawyer.

Please.

I think Anna is a lot smarter

than what some people give her credit for.

And by some people you mean?

Dirk for one.

I'll leave a slice of cake here for your detective.

Ah, he's not gonna eat it.

He's a rather proud of his figure, our boss.

That is ridiculous!

Little slice of cake never hurt anyone.

-It was delicious. -Oh, thank you.

I completely forgot to give you your cream earlier.

Here, just...

[phone ringing]

just taste it.

[chuckles]

Amazing. We'll run that Tuesday next week. You're a star.

Thanks.

Oh. You're not Jess.

-No. But I have cake? -Oh, yes, please!

If only cake could write the article

Jessie promised me on deadline.

-Mm. Oh. -Oh, Maria, more mail.

Thank you.

Hello. Yes. This is Hattie from the Karoo Gazette.

Could I speak to Mr. Van Vlaanderen, please?

Yes, I'll hold.

[Aileen]Dear, Maria.

It's so wonderful to have a picture of you in my head...

of what you look like now.

We haven't seen each other in a very long time.

[chuckles softly]

[Aileen]I miss you.

I miss talking about the old days.

I'm aching.

[Aileen] Lot of water under the bridge, eh?

[tense music]

[dor opens]

Okay. Oh, detective.

I didn't expect to see you 'til Friday.

Let me guess, a nice thick juicy rump, hm?

The meat obviously, not your fine self.

-Just here on police business. -Oh, if it's about Mrs. Burger.

All I did was sell her some mutton.

Oh, no, no. No, not here on police business, in there.

Oh, and to the fine ladies, the press are anxious to help.

[indistinct]

Linda, my lamb.

-Your leg of lamb. -Mm.

[knocking on door]

Maria?

Oh, no!

[knocking continues]

-Maria? The door! -What? Oh, sorry.

Oh, no, I'm so sorry. I was just talking to a colleague here.

-[Hattie]Go on! Hmm. -Oh. It's you.

[Hattie]Mm-hm.

[door closes]

-I have come to-- No, thank you. -Cake?

I forgot, I left you a slice at the station.

Oh, yes, your poor mum.

I'm here for the letters Mrs. Burger

and Ms. Pretorius wrote to you.

Oh.

Well, um... The first one I read...

Well, the first one I read was actually not the first one

that she sent because I read them in the wrong order, so,

the first one that I read, well, that was the, um...

[clears throat]

You do want to talk about the letters?

Yes, you mentioned the sciatica last week.

Let's do this properly.

Um...

Your name?

Just call me Tannie Maria.

This is a police report not a cookie recipe.

Maria Purvis.

Maria Purvis.

Okay, so that will be your usual quarter page, and a special

back page feature to celebrate

sevens years of manufacturing concrete garden statues.

You must be so proud. Bye-bye.

-Must I just-- -Write your statement.

[Hattie]Detective!

-How good to see you. -Ms. Wilson.

Although under such tragic circumstances.

I'm really sorry to disrupt your workspace like this.

Oh, not at all.

We are always here to serve the police.

[Khaya]Oh.

Well, it certainly seem like you have a hotline

to police business.

[chuckles softly]

Sign there.

-Ah, Ms. Purvis... -Maria.

Tannie Maria.

Maria...

I really appreciate your concern for Mrs. Burger,

and I'm really sorry that this whole business has affected you.

But this is a serious police matter.

We've have no time for amateur detectives.

Don't worry, detective.

I'll keep them from bothering you.

You can count on me.

-Thank you. -We're here anytime.

Anytime, anytime.

Don't hesitate to call anytime.

-Anytime at all. Goodbye. -Thank you.

-Don't hesitate.

[Khaya]Thank you.

What?

[sheeps bleating]

-I wanna go home! -Soon.

-What are we waiting for?! -If I say "stop..."

Jess, I'm really not feeling good.

Are you going to puke on me?

No, but I just want to go to bed.

Are sure you're not just bunking off of school

'cause you had a maths test?

[horn blows] Come on!

-Can we just go? -Okay.

[vehicle revs]

Your bail has been posted, so you're free to go.

Um, but you may not leave town.

[dramatic music]

It's all my fault.

Yes, I've, I've put that in your statement.

[instrumental music]

[door opens]

[door opens]

[Hattie]At last!

How kind of you to remember that you actually have a job.

Sorry, Hats, just doing some research.

Karoo Gazette, Hattie Wilson speaking?

Ah, Marius. How lovely to hear from you. Mm-hm. Oh.

-Maria. No. -Do you want some cake?

I know that you said that you couldn't help,

but I need you to come immediately!

Come where? I'm busy workin' on a letter.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear you didn't enjoy the feature on some of

the historical road names in our little town.

I found out where Dirk is staying.

We need to talk to him now.

[Hattie]Mm. Oh.

No.

Please. I can't do it alone.

I need a partner.

Do it for Martine.

Okay.

I'll bring a wee slice of cake.

I'll sneak out first, you follow.

[chuckling]

I found it was quite innocuous, really.

Oh, so you're saying the word colonial is aggressive?

Oh, I do apologise, Mr. Rabie,

and I will absolutely have a word

with the journalist in question.

Thank you so much for raising your concerns.

Bye.

[scoffs] Jess, you can't believe that claptrap Marius Rabie

is spouting about you...

Maria?

[Piet]Knock, knock!

You're alreay in.

No wonder you're grumpy today.

What do you mean?

Your assailant made bail, by the way.

You know, sometimes I forget why you're my friend.

Because who else in this town gets you like, bro?

[chuckles softly] You're right.

Best get back to work.

[Piet]In that case, I have to tell you

the prints came back...

The fire poker was covered in Anna's prints.

Between that and the wedding plate has been smashed.

We need to arrest Anna again now.

Yeah! Lucky us.

Let's go.

Are you sure this is right? What is this place?

It's a guest house run by Seventh-day Adventists.

-Seventh-day Adventist. -Why are you bringing that?

Would you leave a child in the car?

-Hello. -Hi.

Frank.

-Good day. How can I help? -Hi.

Good day, good sir.

We're looking for a man about your height, super mean--

-Woah! -Where's Dirk?

-Maria. -I'm gonna kill him.

Anna, why don't we sit down and have wee chat.

-No, thank you. -I have cake.

Thank you very much. No, thank you. Hey!

Oh! Oh!

I'm surprised the police let you go, you murderous cow!

You killed Tienie!

I would never hurt my wife!

well, you killed the ducks that I gave her.

I'm a farmer, okay. We kill animals all the time.

And wives.

I thought the cops would deal with you.

But now, it's just you and me.

No, it really isn't. We're here too.

And the kids. I think you should let the kids go.

You have a daughter, don't you, Dirk?

Martina was pleased what good care you took of her.

You paid the bills. You..

I mean, you love kids, don't you?

Okay, fine. Let the mother go. Go, go, go!

[indistinct]

Bet you can't even fire that thing.

Left middle toe.

[shot fired]

[Dirk groaning]

[exclaiming] Ah!

[groaning]

[gunshots]

[Anna groaning]

[splash]

[screams]

[Dirk screaming]

Detective!

-Yes, it's Tannie Maria. -We're fine.

-Actually, no. But... -You shot me!

You shot me!

[Tannie] Yes, please!

[groaning] Ahh! Stop, stop, stop!

[instrumental music]

[female #1] Oh, no. No thank you.

[groans] Gentle, gentle. Okay?

[speaks foreign]

We are gonna take a nice long bath

and we're gonna feel much better.

[Tannie]That must have been a bit scary.

-Are the kids okay? -Thank you for helping them.

It was very brave.

Oh, I think they were very brave.

Would they like some cake?

It does have a bit of a bullet hole in it but I tasted some

and it doesn't seem to have gunpowder flavour or anything.

I'm sorry, we can't.

We're vegan. It's our religion.

Your religion is vegan?

I thought you were Seventh-day--

-Adventist. We are. -Hm.

My wife just meant that

because of our religion we are vegan.

Oh.

I am sorry.

Detective.

Wasn't that cake shot? We have to take it evidence.

But it'll go bad!

Eat the cake. You can forensic the cake savour if you need to.

-Of course, have one more. -I'm sure you do.

I'm still unclear.

Why are you and your colleague here?

We wanted to interview Dirk.

Have I not asked you already

that you must leave this murder to us.

-Piet! [Piet]Yeah.

I'll go with these two to the hospital.

You mean those trigger happy nutjobs?

People of interest.

-No sense of humour, that one. -Yeah, wel...

-Ju-just don't. Just... -Calm down.

[instrumental music]

Jessica.

Sorry, ma, I know it's late.

There was a shootout at the guesthouse.

I was investigating--

Don't you want to know how Riley is?

When I got home, his temperature was 38

and he was vomiting everywhere.

But, ma, he said he was faking it.

Really?

Okay, no, I said he was faking it.

But he didn't deny it I was doing work, ma.

You gave him nothing.

Not even a paracetemol for his fever.

I'm not his mother!

You asked me to bring him home and I brought him home!

I didn't think I needed to ask you for a little kindness.

Bronwyn could have taken care of him.

Bronwyn's still a child.

When I was her age, I was making supper, taking care of us

while you worked night shifts.

I wasn't able to be a child then.

[instrumental music]

-Is he okay? -Hmm.

It's this 48 hour bug, plenty of fluids

and lots of rest and he'll be fine.

-And some red jelly? -Jelly?

When I was sick, dad always brought me red jelly.

I thought it was magic.

What am I going to do with you, Jess, hm?

I trusted you today.

Your brother needed real help,

not some red jelly.

What if I didn't know how to help?

I'm not his mother, or his nurse.

That's your life, and I don't want it.

[dramatic music]

[glass bottle clinks]

[door closes]

I didn't know you were up.

I'll make you a cup of tea.

"Cleared."

Right.

[Gideon]Dear, Tannie Maria.

You really know your stuff.

I made you a doggy bag.

Couldn't eat another slice.

[Gideon chuckles softly]

-Thank you. -My pleasure.

Bye.

Tannie Maria, let me tell you, that kiss...

it was like a whole bucket load of fireworks

exploded over the koppie all at once.

Thanks for turning my crush into crushed lips.

Yours, enamoured in Eden.

Quick, we need to talk before Hattie comes in.

Don't tell me you didn't write your talent show piece?

No, I finished that. That stuff's easy.

You know she doesn't want us investigating

Martine's murder any more?

Yes.

And the cops keep telling us to stay away?

Yes.

Well, I was thinking, you and I should go to Martine's house

and see the crime scene for ourselves.

I'm a really great investigative journalist,

and you knew Martine from her letters...

-Yes. -What?

I'm in.

Cool.

[phone buzzing]

[Hattie]Ah!

A full house of staff.

Truly, I'm blessed.

[clears throat]

Sorry, Hattie, I'll ge cracking on that wool piece of yours.

Wonderful.

Oh. My sex cake worked!

Even better.

[chuckles]

See you tonight.

[dramatic music]

Mmm!

-So good. -Shhh!

Maria, what are you wearing?

It was the only black thing I could find.

[suspenseful music]

-Take off your shoes. -Okay.

Hold this.

I can crack it. I googled it.

Of course you did.

I did it.

Here.

[Tannie sighs]

[music continues]

[shutter clicking]

Looks like Dirk hasn't been back here since Martine died.

Since he murdered her.

[music continues]

[Jessie]Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Come on.

Come on...

[glass shattering]

[theme music]

[music continues]

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