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1
00:00:07,295 --> 00:00:09,327
Previously, on
"Resident Alien"...
2
00:00:09,423 --> 00:00:11,677
You are the Greys.
What are you going to do?
3
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:14,446
We will destroy you
and everyone you care about.
4
00:00:14,531 --> 00:00:16,032
There's alien activity here.
5
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,434
- I know it.
- What are you gonna do?
6
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,266
Call the Alien Tracker and
tell him to come to Patience
7
00:00:20,351 --> 00:00:21,563
and find himself an alien.
8
00:00:21,648 --> 00:00:23,531
I need a refill
on these pain meds.
9
00:00:23,616 --> 00:00:26,118
These can be
very addictive.
10
00:00:26,203 --> 00:00:28,242
- Who's Mary Ellen Taylor?
- My mom.
11
00:00:28,327 --> 00:00:30,313
I liked my life
the way it was, still do.
12
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:31,531
I don't think
this guy's an alien.
13
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:32,866
Did you notice
anything different
14
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,977
about that new lunch lady?
She might be MIB.
15
00:00:35,062 --> 00:00:37,302
MIB stole the baby
last night.
16
00:00:37,387 --> 00:00:39,703
What assholes,
exclamation mark!
17
00:00:42,058 --> 00:00:43,524
Our first battery of exams
18
00:00:43,609 --> 00:00:45,461
haven't detected
any extraterrestrial DNA,
19
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,446
but our next round
of experimental tests...
20
00:00:47,531 --> 00:00:49,500
Forget it.
I'm going in.
21
00:00:49,585 --> 00:00:50,741
Yes, ma'am.
22
00:00:50,826 --> 00:00:52,689
I'll inform the guards
to prepare the restraints.
23
00:00:52,773 --> 00:00:53,856
Restraints?
24
00:00:54,071 --> 00:00:55,757
Don't bother.
25
00:00:55,842 --> 00:00:57,719
He's not an alien.
26
00:00:57,804 --> 00:00:59,354
None of them are.
27
00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:03,669
[door closes]
28
00:01:04,214 --> 00:01:07,050
[sighs]
29
00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:11,718
I remember being a kid,
the pranks we'd play.
30
00:01:11,803 --> 00:01:16,307
You'd do anything
to fit in, so I get it.
31
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:20,060
It's clear you look
like this dead boy.
32
00:01:21,351 --> 00:01:24,828
But whose idea was it for you
to pretend to be an alien?
33
00:01:25,165 --> 00:01:26,208
You can tell me.
34
00:01:26,293 --> 00:01:28,500
You won't get in trouble.
35
00:01:30,586 --> 00:01:34,840
If you had any idea
the hundreds of subjects,
36
00:01:34,924 --> 00:01:36,675
the thousands of tests,
37
00:01:36,759 --> 00:01:40,349
then you would cut
the fake-alien shit!
38
00:01:41,347 --> 00:01:43,477
[sighs]
39
00:01:48,187 --> 00:01:50,522
[sighs]
40
00:01:51,140 --> 00:01:53,546
They're real, you know.
41
00:01:54,443 --> 00:01:57,250
I saw them with my father...
42
00:01:58,027 --> 00:02:00,655
when I was about your age.
43
00:02:00,825 --> 00:02:03,702
[dramatic music]
44
00:02:03,786 --> 00:02:07,414
[♪ ♪]
45
00:02:07,498 --> 00:02:09,458
Your eyes were
playing tricks on you.
46
00:02:09,542 --> 00:02:12,753
I know what I saw.
Look at the damn photos.
47
00:02:12,837 --> 00:02:14,609
Oh, we have.
48
00:02:14,694 --> 00:02:17,071
Could have been
a weather balloon.
49
00:02:17,258 --> 00:02:18,800
Who the hell are you?
50
00:02:18,884 --> 00:02:20,884
It's just
and your daughter, right?
51
00:02:22,763 --> 00:02:26,183
♪ Leave it alone ♪
52
00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:29,311
♪ Give it a rest ♪
53
00:02:29,395 --> 00:02:33,774
Dad, no!
54
00:02:33,858 --> 00:02:36,568
♪ Say what you needed
to say ♪
55
00:02:36,652 --> 00:02:40,363
♪ I got no happy ♪
56
00:02:40,447 --> 00:02:43,575
♪ In my head ♪
57
00:02:43,659 --> 00:02:47,537
♪ I miss that feeling ♪
58
00:02:47,621 --> 00:02:51,458
♪ I had ♪
59
00:02:51,542 --> 00:02:54,211
♪ That we're all alone ♪
60
00:02:54,295 --> 00:02:56,046
[squawks softly]
61
00:02:56,130 --> 00:02:58,590
[shudders]
62
00:02:58,674 --> 00:03:01,593
Brown Bird's "Bilgewater" plays...
63
00:03:01,677 --> 00:03:04,763
Laid-back acoustic strumming...
64
00:03:04,847 --> 00:03:08,934
[♪ ♪]
65
00:03:09,018 --> 00:03:12,128
My people began
as aquatic creatures.
66
00:03:12,213 --> 00:03:15,487
I am glad we grew legs
and started walking on land.
67
00:03:15,572 --> 00:03:17,261
I would not want to be a fish,
68
00:03:17,346 --> 00:03:19,611
in the same way
I do not want to be a human.
69
00:03:19,695 --> 00:03:23,156
So much of their lives
is out of their control.
70
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,492
The fish swims forward
looking for food,
71
00:03:25,576 --> 00:03:29,162
and when they find it, they
get yanked out of their homes
72
00:03:29,246 --> 00:03:31,915
by a weird being,
measured and probed,
73
00:03:31,999 --> 00:03:35,126
and then thrown back
into their home.
74
00:03:35,210 --> 00:03:36,878
It is not the fish's fault.
75
00:03:36,962 --> 00:03:40,674
If I was hungry and I saw
a pizza on a hook,
76
00:03:40,758 --> 00:03:43,718
I might not be able to control
myself either.
77
00:03:45,054 --> 00:03:48,473
- [breathes deeply]
- It's my fault.
78
00:03:48,557 --> 00:03:50,642
I spent my whole life
trying to protect you.
79
00:03:50,726 --> 00:03:52,769
I should have told you
what I knew about your mother
80
00:03:52,853 --> 00:03:55,272
a long time ago.
81
00:03:55,356 --> 00:03:57,482
Now I understand
why you didn't.
82
00:03:57,566 --> 00:04:01,152
You know, I met her
when she joined our band.
83
00:04:01,236 --> 00:04:03,989
She was pregnant already.
84
00:04:04,073 --> 00:04:05,657
So you were, like...
85
00:04:05,741 --> 00:04:07,491
[chuckles]
The fifth member.
86
00:04:09,078 --> 00:04:10,495
Did you know my father?
87
00:04:10,579 --> 00:04:13,665
Mary-Ellen kept that
to herself.
88
00:04:13,749 --> 00:04:16,668
I ended up watching
you most of the time.
89
00:04:16,752 --> 00:04:19,337
Then one day
she was just gone.
90
00:04:19,421 --> 00:04:21,923
How do you just leave
a kid like that on a doorstep
91
00:04:22,007 --> 00:04:24,676
- and not care at all?
- I don't know.
92
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:28,680
My band mates told me
to call CPS, but...
93
00:04:28,764 --> 00:04:32,309
I called
an adoption lawyer instead.
94
00:04:32,393 --> 00:04:34,311
You're too kind
for your own good.
95
00:04:34,395 --> 00:04:36,813
It wasn't kindness;
96
00:04:36,897 --> 00:04:38,064
It was love.
97
00:04:38,148 --> 00:04:41,026
You were yourself, Asta,
the day you were born.
98
00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:43,653
I can't make people see
how special you are,
99
00:04:43,737 --> 00:04:45,864
but I always have.
100
00:04:45,948 --> 00:04:49,200
I lost a drummer,
but I gained a daughter.
101
00:04:49,284 --> 00:04:51,536
More than a fair trade,
I'd say.
102
00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:55,206
[sentimental music]
103
00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:58,209
- Thanks, Dad.
- Yeah.
104
00:04:58,293 --> 00:05:00,587
[♪ ♪]
105
00:05:00,671 --> 00:05:03,751
[indistinct chatter]
106
00:05:05,801 --> 00:05:07,844
Oh, I thought I heard voices.
107
00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:10,347
- Morning, Kayla.
- Ben, hi
108
00:05:10,431 --> 00:05:12,057
Kayla asked me
to help her with a case.
109
00:05:12,141 --> 00:05:13,892
Honey, that's amazing.
110
00:05:13,976 --> 00:05:16,061
See, I knew you'd back into law
when the timing was right.
111
00:05:16,145 --> 00:05:17,228
What's the case?
112
00:05:17,312 --> 00:05:18,939
I am helping Kayla's law firm
113
00:05:19,023 --> 00:05:20,941
get a temporary
restraining order
114
00:05:21,025 --> 00:05:24,361
to stop the resort
from moving forward.
115
00:05:24,445 --> 00:05:25,985
Huh.
116
00:05:27,990 --> 00:05:29,282
Great.
117
00:05:29,366 --> 00:05:30,867
Can I get you some more coffee?
118
00:05:30,951 --> 00:05:33,495
- Oh, that'd be nice, honey.
- Mm-hmm.
119
00:05:33,579 --> 00:05:37,332
So, um, the judge is gonna
decide whether we've proven...
120
00:05:37,416 --> 00:05:40,752
[coffee grinder
whirring loudly]
121
00:05:40,836 --> 00:05:42,337
Um, whether we've proven...
122
00:05:42,421 --> 00:05:45,251
[coffee grinder
whirring loudly]
123
00:05:50,471 --> 00:05:51,763
Sorry, Kayla.
124
00:05:51,847 --> 00:05:54,265
[chuckles] Look, listen,
the key to all of this
125
00:05:54,349 --> 00:05:56,893
is just that we're gonna prove
that the environmental impact...
126
00:05:56,977 --> 00:06:00,271
[coffee grinder
whirring loudly]
127
00:06:00,355 --> 00:06:01,398
If we've proven...
128
00:06:01,482 --> 00:06:03,066
[coffee grinder
whirring intermittently]
129
00:06:03,150 --> 00:06:04,275
Irreparable...
130
00:06:04,359 --> 00:06:05,610
environmental...
131
00:06:05,694 --> 00:06:08,614
[coffee grinder
whirring loudly]
132
00:06:14,369 --> 00:06:15,912
Ben!
133
00:06:15,996 --> 00:06:17,414
[whirring stops]
134
00:06:17,498 --> 00:06:18,790
Did you say my name?
135
00:06:18,874 --> 00:06:20,542
I know what you're doing.
136
00:06:20,626 --> 00:06:22,544
Barista-ing?
137
00:06:22,628 --> 00:06:24,129
You know what?
I'm just going to head out.
138
00:06:24,213 --> 00:06:25,964
I'll let you know
what the judge says,
139
00:06:26,048 --> 00:06:28,258
and, um, I'll take a rain check
on that coffee.
140
00:06:28,342 --> 00:06:29,676
Oh.
141
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,970
And the vacuuming you
were probably about to do.
142
00:06:32,054 --> 00:06:33,430
Yeah.
143
00:06:33,514 --> 00:06:36,850
[door opens, closes]
144
00:06:36,934 --> 00:06:39,060
Was that the most mature
thing you've ever done?
145
00:06:39,144 --> 00:06:40,979
Mm, top three.
146
00:06:41,063 --> 00:06:43,773
Look, I know we're
on different sides
147
00:06:43,857 --> 00:06:45,567
- of this resort thing.
- Mm-hmm.
148
00:06:45,651 --> 00:06:48,570
Maybe it wasn't fair of me to
have a meeting like that here.
149
00:06:48,654 --> 00:06:50,321
Thank you.
150
00:06:50,405 --> 00:06:52,449
So we make a pact.
151
00:06:52,533 --> 00:06:54,325
The second we walk
in that door,
152
00:06:54,409 --> 00:06:56,244
we don't talk about the resort.
153
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:58,455
[dramatic music]
154
00:06:58,539 --> 00:07:00,999
[sighs]
Deal.
155
00:07:01,083 --> 00:07:02,459
Okay.
156
00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:05,253
[growling]
157
00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:06,671
So stupid.
158
00:07:06,755 --> 00:07:08,840
Hey, you wanted to see me?
159
00:07:08,924 --> 00:07:12,177
[clears throat]
Yes, uh...
160
00:07:12,261 --> 00:07:15,472
I have, uh, something
that I wanted to tell you,
161
00:07:15,556 --> 00:07:18,349
but I don't know how,
so I wrote it in a letter.
162
00:07:18,433 --> 00:07:20,313
Okay, just tell me.
163
00:07:26,275 --> 00:07:27,484
Okay.
164
00:07:27,568 --> 00:07:31,196
"Dear, Asta, the Greys
are here to kill us all"?
165
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:32,489
That's your opening?
166
00:07:32,573 --> 00:07:34,240
I wanted to get
your attention.
167
00:07:34,324 --> 00:07:36,034
Good job.
It worked.
168
00:07:36,118 --> 00:07:38,536
- Mm.
- [sighs] Are we all gonna die?
169
00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:40,497
- Again?
- Mm.
170
00:07:40,581 --> 00:07:42,457
- Why are they here?
- I do not know.
171
00:07:42,541 --> 00:07:46,669
It all happened very fast.
He threatened me and then left.
172
00:07:46,753 --> 00:07:48,671
You are a Grey.
173
00:07:48,755 --> 00:07:50,715
Yes, and you are...
174
00:07:50,799 --> 00:07:53,879
[speaking in native language]
175
00:07:59,892 --> 00:08:02,894
It's funny to hear it
in your accent.
176
00:08:02,978 --> 00:08:06,523
I will find these Greys.
Do not worry.
177
00:08:06,607 --> 00:08:08,775
You drew the Earth exploding.
178
00:08:08,859 --> 00:08:11,820
But, yeah, sure,
nothing to worry about.
179
00:08:11,904 --> 00:08:14,739
[♪ ♪]
180
00:08:14,823 --> 00:08:17,534
But the artistry is...
181
00:08:17,618 --> 00:08:19,661
pretty undeniable.
182
00:08:19,745 --> 00:08:21,079
You've reached
Detective Lena Torres,
183
00:08:21,163 --> 00:08:22,831
Jessup PD...
Please leave a message.
184
00:08:22,915 --> 00:08:24,749
- [line beeps]
- Uh, hello, Detective.
185
00:08:24,833 --> 00:08:26,751
It's, uh,
Mike Thompson calling.
186
00:08:26,835 --> 00:08:28,503
Uh, actually,
I heard on the scanner
187
00:08:28,587 --> 00:08:31,339
that you guys were dealing
with a gang of turkey thieves.
188
00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:33,091
I just wanted
to make sure you know
189
00:08:33,175 --> 00:08:35,927
that we can offer help or
reinforcements if you need it.
190
00:08:36,011 --> 00:08:37,929
Um, actually, to me,
it's kind of crazy
191
00:08:38,013 --> 00:08:39,973
somebody would want
to steal something
192
00:08:40,057 --> 00:08:42,767
that looks like a peacock
had sex with a loose red sock.
193
00:08:42,851 --> 00:08:45,854
But, um, anyway, um,
I was calling
194
00:08:45,938 --> 00:08:47,564
because I was just wondering
what you was up to, and...
195
00:08:47,648 --> 00:08:48,690
Oh, good morning, sir.
196
00:08:48,774 --> 00:08:50,108
I didn't know
you were here yet.
197
00:08:50,192 --> 00:08:51,776
- Here's your bear claw.
- Just one second, please.
198
00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:53,153
Uh, sorry about that,
Detective.
199
00:08:53,237 --> 00:08:55,155
Anyway, like I said, you
can give me a call sometime.
200
00:08:55,239 --> 00:08:56,531
All right, thank you.
Bye-bye.
201
00:08:56,615 --> 00:08:57,866
I knew it.
202
00:08:57,950 --> 00:08:59,325
You two are gonna have
ten babies together.
203
00:08:59,409 --> 00:09:00,952
[stammers]
Deputy, what are you doing?
204
00:09:01,036 --> 00:09:02,996
- I hadn't hung up yet.
- No, I'm...
205
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,914
I was right on the brink
of leaving the perfect message,
206
00:09:04,998 --> 00:09:06,958
and then as I'm about
to nail my triple Axel,
207
00:09:07,042 --> 00:09:08,751
you come up behind me
with a lead pipe
208
00:09:08,835 --> 00:09:10,003
and take out both my knees?
209
00:09:10,087 --> 00:09:12,922
But I only accidentally
smashed your knees,
210
00:09:13,006 --> 00:09:14,591
and it really
wasn't a lead pipe.
211
00:09:14,675 --> 00:09:16,009
Like, it was more
of a soft wooden bat,
212
00:09:16,093 --> 00:09:17,594
because women like babies.
213
00:09:17,678 --> 00:09:19,804
I'm just... I'm gonna...
214
00:09:19,888 --> 00:09:23,308
I'm gonna leave this here.
215
00:09:23,392 --> 00:09:25,310
[mumbles]
216
00:09:25,394 --> 00:09:28,146
[♪ ♪]
217
00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:30,607
[sighs]
218
00:09:30,691 --> 00:09:34,235
[sighs, groans]
219
00:09:34,319 --> 00:09:36,988
[winces]
220
00:09:37,072 --> 00:09:39,741
[soft music playing]
221
00:09:39,825 --> 00:09:41,826
D'arcy.
222
00:09:41,910 --> 00:09:46,831
[♪ ♪]
223
00:09:46,915 --> 00:09:48,708
Good morning, champ.
224
00:09:48,792 --> 00:09:51,502
Hi.
225
00:09:51,586 --> 00:09:52,670
Is it morning?
226
00:09:52,754 --> 00:09:55,173
It's, like, 11:30.
227
00:09:55,257 --> 00:09:57,342
[sighs]
Have you seen my blender lid?
228
00:09:57,426 --> 00:09:58,885
No.
229
00:09:58,969 --> 00:10:01,304
It's always in this drawer.
You sure you didn't move it?
230
00:10:01,388 --> 00:10:02,472
I have a whole system.
231
00:10:02,556 --> 00:10:04,849
I never pegged you
for a system person.
232
00:10:04,933 --> 00:10:07,518
I also said "good morning."
233
00:10:07,602 --> 00:10:10,146
[sighs] You did.
234
00:10:10,230 --> 00:10:12,148
[chuckles]
235
00:10:12,232 --> 00:10:13,483
Mmm.
236
00:10:13,567 --> 00:10:15,860
[♪ ♪]
237
00:10:15,944 --> 00:10:17,528
Wait, do you think I'm messy?
238
00:10:17,612 --> 00:10:19,364
No, not at all.
239
00:10:19,448 --> 00:10:21,658
I like you being a neat freak
about your blender.
240
00:10:21,742 --> 00:10:23,243
[chuckles] Neat freak?
241
00:10:23,327 --> 00:10:25,036
I'm a neat freak
because I put things
242
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,913
in the drawer
where they belong?
243
00:10:26,997 --> 00:10:29,207
[chuckles]
I mean, come on, you know...
244
00:10:29,291 --> 00:10:32,418
Is the carpenter
who puts separate containers
245
00:10:32,502 --> 00:10:34,921
for the forks and knives
also a neat freak?
246
00:10:35,005 --> 00:10:36,381
You know who was
a real neat freak?
247
00:10:36,465 --> 00:10:37,840
Whoever invented numbers.
248
00:10:37,924 --> 00:10:39,342
You know, each one
is its own separate thing.
249
00:10:39,426 --> 00:10:40,718
What a neat freak.
250
00:10:40,802 --> 00:10:43,054
You really gonna rant
at me about a blender lid?
251
00:10:43,138 --> 00:10:44,681
I just need you
to help me find it.
252
00:10:44,765 --> 00:10:50,687
[♪ ♪]
253
00:10:50,771 --> 00:10:52,689
- Here.
- Oh.
254
00:10:52,773 --> 00:10:55,066
Huh.
Thank you.
255
00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:57,610
You are like my little
appliances truffle pig.
256
00:10:57,694 --> 00:11:00,989
[♪ ♪]
257
00:11:01,073 --> 00:11:03,825
[blender whirring]
258
00:11:03,909 --> 00:11:05,201
Mm.
259
00:11:05,285 --> 00:11:08,079
[♪ ♪]
260
00:11:08,163 --> 00:11:10,707
Mmm, so good.
261
00:11:10,791 --> 00:11:12,959
- You want one?
- Are you okay?
262
00:11:13,043 --> 00:11:15,253
You seem a little
all over the place lately.
263
00:11:15,337 --> 00:11:19,882
Um, just in my head
about the hard pack tournament.
264
00:11:19,966 --> 00:11:22,385
Competition mode...
It's an intense mode.
265
00:11:22,469 --> 00:11:24,345
Ah, if you're stressed,
we'll skip tonight.
266
00:11:24,429 --> 00:11:26,055
No, no way.
267
00:11:26,139 --> 00:11:29,100
Sir, dinner is on.
268
00:11:29,184 --> 00:11:31,436
Mwah!
Gonna see you tonight.
269
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,438
Gonna make me something
with protein in it.
270
00:11:33,522 --> 00:11:35,606
[laughs]
271
00:11:35,690 --> 00:11:38,735
Hey, Deputy.
272
00:11:38,819 --> 00:11:40,445
Any word
from Detective Torres?
273
00:11:40,529 --> 00:11:43,531
- No, Deputy.
- Maybe she's busy.
274
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:45,325
Maybe she don't want to have
ten babies.
275
00:11:45,409 --> 00:11:47,577
Anyway, uh, weren't you
trying to get in touch
276
00:11:47,661 --> 00:11:49,245
with that Alien Tracker guy?
277
00:11:49,329 --> 00:11:51,289
Oh, I gave up.
278
00:11:51,373 --> 00:11:52,749
I sent 60 emails.
279
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:55,376
He didn't respond to even one.
280
00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:57,545
You know, I spent all this time
putting him on a pedestal.
281
00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:59,255
He's probably just a jerk.
282
00:11:59,339 --> 00:12:01,879
Okay, well, he's also here.
283
00:12:04,261 --> 00:12:07,221
It was 62 emails, actually.
284
00:12:09,141 --> 00:12:11,309
Would you care to have lunch
with a jerk?
285
00:12:11,393 --> 00:12:13,103
[gasps softly]
286
00:12:23,113 --> 00:12:24,906
We've got a problem.
287
00:12:24,990 --> 00:12:27,367
Uh, apparently, a couple
of power-hungry lawyers
288
00:12:27,451 --> 00:12:29,577
are filing
a restraining order
289
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,871
to temporarily stop
the resort project.
290
00:12:31,955 --> 00:12:33,331
Really?
How you know that?
291
00:12:33,415 --> 00:12:35,416
Well, let's just say
you don't become mayor
292
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,335
without having a few ears out
in the community.
293
00:12:37,419 --> 00:12:39,170
- Kate's one of the lawyers.
- She sure is.
294
00:12:39,254 --> 00:12:40,505
- Okay.
- Yes.
295
00:12:40,589 --> 00:12:42,215
And I would blame that
for my stress headache,
296
00:12:42,299 --> 00:12:43,508
but I've had that
since I was six.
297
00:12:43,592 --> 00:12:44,550
Okay, you know what?
298
00:12:44,634 --> 00:12:46,052
You done come
to the right place,
299
00:12:46,136 --> 00:12:47,720
'cause you happen
to be in the presence
300
00:12:47,804 --> 00:12:49,347
of a professional masseur.
301
00:12:49,431 --> 00:12:50,932
Here, go ahead.
Take a seat.
302
00:12:51,016 --> 00:12:53,059
Take a seat.
Go ahead.
303
00:12:53,143 --> 00:12:54,894
- You went to massage school?
- I sure did.
304
00:12:54,978 --> 00:12:57,063
- I graduated top of my class.
- Hmm.
305
00:12:57,147 --> 00:12:58,856
Taught myself
in my own kitchen.
306
00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:00,233
Is it too late
to stand back up?
307
00:13:00,317 --> 00:13:01,776
No, no, you're fine.
Don't worry.
308
00:13:01,860 --> 00:13:02,944
I learned
the old-fashioned way.
309
00:13:03,028 --> 00:13:04,404
See, I practiced on cats.
310
00:13:04,488 --> 00:13:06,447
If you can massage
a cat at 3:00 a. m.
311
00:13:06,531 --> 00:13:09,117
Without being scratched to
death or waking your neighbor,
312
00:13:09,201 --> 00:13:10,535
you graduate.
313
00:13:10,619 --> 00:13:12,161
You know, the more feral,
the better.
314
00:13:12,245 --> 00:13:13,830
I remember for my masters,
315
00:13:13,914 --> 00:13:15,706
I found this cat
in an alleyway.
316
00:13:15,790 --> 00:13:19,085
I still can't grow hair on my
left forearm, but I graduated.
317
00:13:19,169 --> 00:13:21,963
Ow, well, uh,
the back pain has drowned out
318
00:13:22,047 --> 00:13:23,464
the head pain, so thank you.
319
00:13:23,548 --> 00:13:24,966
- Oh, you're welcome.
- Very much.
320
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:26,259
Now that you've
got a clear head,
321
00:13:26,343 --> 00:13:27,677
you can start
thinking about how
322
00:13:27,761 --> 00:13:29,762
to get Kate off of this resort
thing when you get home.
323
00:13:29,846 --> 00:13:31,305
Uh, well, see, that's...
That's the problem.
324
00:13:31,389 --> 00:13:32,849
I can't.
325
00:13:32,933 --> 00:13:35,184
We agreed not to talk about
the resort when we're at home.
326
00:13:35,268 --> 00:13:36,978
That's a good idea.
That's best for your marriage.
327
00:13:37,062 --> 00:13:39,188
I, on the other hand, am not
married to either one of you.
328
00:13:39,272 --> 00:13:41,858
Look, invite me over to dinner.
329
00:13:41,942 --> 00:13:43,734
I accept.
I'll see you tonight.
330
00:13:43,818 --> 00:13:48,239
Uh, I'm having a hard time
turning my head to the left?
331
00:13:48,323 --> 00:13:49,991
Yes, you know what?
The cats had the same problem.
332
00:13:50,075 --> 00:13:51,492
Try this.
333
00:13:51,576 --> 00:13:53,786
Try hunching your back
over like this and hissing.
334
00:13:53,870 --> 00:13:56,456
I'll see you later.
335
00:13:56,540 --> 00:13:58,166
W-What?
336
00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:01,169
[indistinct chatter]
337
00:14:01,253 --> 00:14:04,172
[soft music playing]
338
00:14:04,256 --> 00:14:06,924
I have figured out
how to stop the Greys.
339
00:14:07,008 --> 00:14:08,217
What?
340
00:14:08,301 --> 00:14:10,970
That's great.
What are you gonna do?
341
00:14:11,054 --> 00:14:12,680
There is
another alien convention
342
00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:13,848
in New Mexico next week.
343
00:14:13,932 --> 00:14:15,433
It will be filled with humans
344
00:14:15,517 --> 00:14:17,852
that have been probed
and implanted
345
00:14:17,936 --> 00:14:20,229
by those horrible
Grey creatures.
346
00:14:20,313 --> 00:14:21,647
That's true.
347
00:14:21,731 --> 00:14:24,984
You could use those people
to, what, track the Greys?
348
00:14:25,068 --> 00:14:28,529
No, I will kidnap the humans
and rip out their implants
349
00:14:28,613 --> 00:14:31,908
and then re-implant them
in professional show dogs.
350
00:14:31,992 --> 00:14:33,034
[laughs]
351
00:14:33,118 --> 00:14:34,494
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
352
00:14:34,578 --> 00:14:36,662
The Greys will be so confused.
353
00:14:36,746 --> 00:14:40,500
"Why is that human
that I abducted
354
00:14:40,584 --> 00:14:43,503
running around in circles
and jumping over gates?"
355
00:14:43,587 --> 00:14:47,298
That will stop them
for three to five minutes.
356
00:14:47,382 --> 00:14:49,050
We need to start
thinking about a plan B.
357
00:14:49,134 --> 00:14:50,801
Mm, what?
358
00:14:50,885 --> 00:14:51,928
Yeah.
359
00:14:52,012 --> 00:14:53,012
Hey.
360
00:14:53,096 --> 00:14:54,764
That guy
looks an awful lot like...
361
00:14:54,848 --> 00:14:57,475
[gasps] Oh, my God,
that's the Alien Tracker.
362
00:14:57,559 --> 00:14:59,227
He's sitting in a booth
with Liv.
363
00:14:59,311 --> 00:15:01,312
- Why is he with Liv?
- Is he ordering pie?
364
00:15:01,396 --> 00:15:02,647
I don't know.
Let's go.
365
00:15:02,731 --> 00:15:05,811
I was here earlier.
There's only one left.
366
00:15:07,777 --> 00:15:09,820
He has a dessert menu,
the son of a bitch!
367
00:15:09,904 --> 00:15:11,447
Oh, God.
368
00:15:11,531 --> 00:15:14,534
The ship was gone by the time
the other kids came back,
369
00:15:14,618 --> 00:15:18,955
but, somehow, in that moment,
I felt like...
370
00:15:19,039 --> 00:15:21,749
You felt your world expand
371
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:24,585
beyond anything
you ever imagined possible.
372
00:15:24,669 --> 00:15:27,505
Wow. Exactly.
373
00:15:27,589 --> 00:15:31,092
But the thing that I remember
most was feeling alone.
374
00:15:31,176 --> 00:15:34,387
I knew no one would believe me,
except my Aunt Cathy.
375
00:15:34,471 --> 00:15:36,556
But her favorite shirt
was a straitjacket.
376
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,809
Well, that's why
so few come forward.
377
00:15:39,893 --> 00:15:42,103
You know, I'm producing
a documentary
378
00:15:42,187 --> 00:15:44,689
where experiencers
share their stories.
379
00:15:44,773 --> 00:15:46,941
People need to know
they're not alone.
380
00:15:47,025 --> 00:15:48,234
You're so noble.
381
00:15:48,318 --> 00:15:50,111
You're like a lion.
382
00:15:50,195 --> 00:15:51,904
Would you be interested
in participating?
383
00:15:51,988 --> 00:15:53,531
Oh, I couldn't.
384
00:15:53,615 --> 00:15:56,117
I would be so worried
about what everyone might think
385
00:15:56,201 --> 00:15:58,035
that my elbows
would start to sweat.
386
00:15:58,119 --> 00:16:00,239
They're...
They're sweating now.
387
00:16:01,498 --> 00:16:03,749
[groans]
[door opens]
388
00:16:03,833 --> 00:16:06,877
Hey, you can't just come
back here... it's unsanitary.
389
00:16:06,961 --> 00:16:08,296
Okay, Dad,
390
00:16:08,380 --> 00:16:09,714
we need to stay here
until this guy leaves, okay?
391
00:16:09,798 --> 00:16:11,424
He knows that Harry's an alien,
392
00:16:11,508 --> 00:16:13,676
and he might recognize me
from the convention.
393
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,429
Dan, do not sell
that bad man any pie.
394
00:16:16,513 --> 00:16:18,556
- Hmm.
- [sighs, gasps]
395
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:19,890
Excuse me.
396
00:16:21,017 --> 00:16:22,351
Ah!
397
00:16:22,435 --> 00:16:24,520
- What's going on?
- He saw me. Give me a fork.
398
00:16:24,604 --> 00:16:27,148
I need to stab him in
the neck... and anyone who saw.
399
00:16:27,232 --> 00:16:30,234
- I have a lot of necks to stab.
- You're not stabbing anyone!
400
00:16:30,318 --> 00:16:31,569
- No.
- She's right.
401
00:16:31,653 --> 00:16:32,695
Go out the back.
402
00:16:32,779 --> 00:16:34,697
What's going on?
Is everything okay?
403
00:16:34,781 --> 00:16:37,450
[dramatic music]
404
00:16:37,534 --> 00:16:39,452
I have to check
something out... I'll be back.
405
00:16:39,536 --> 00:16:40,953
Is checking tracking?
406
00:16:41,037 --> 00:16:42,663
Are you alien checking?
407
00:16:42,747 --> 00:16:43,998
I'll be here.
408
00:16:44,082 --> 00:16:51,212
[♪ ♪]
409
00:16:57,262 --> 00:16:59,805
[pop rock music playing]
410
00:16:59,889 --> 00:17:01,307
Hey, Liv.
411
00:17:01,391 --> 00:17:03,976
- Were you just here with friend?
- Oh, no.
412
00:17:04,060 --> 00:17:07,188
It might be early
for the F word,
413
00:17:07,272 --> 00:17:09,357
but he did share
some childhood-trauma stuff.
414
00:17:09,441 --> 00:17:12,360
- Mm.
- Plus, I do know his birthday,
415
00:17:12,444 --> 00:17:14,236
favorite color, and moon sign.
416
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,114
Holy crap, I'm friends
with the Alien Tracker.
417
00:17:17,198 --> 00:17:18,366
The Alien Tracker...
418
00:17:18,450 --> 00:17:20,493
Isn't that that podcast
you listen to?
419
00:17:20,577 --> 00:17:22,620
Like, he chases Martians
or something?
420
00:17:22,704 --> 00:17:25,164
Yeah, but Peter is
so much more than that.
421
00:17:25,248 --> 00:17:26,499
He literally wrote the book
422
00:17:26,583 --> 00:17:28,459
on government
alien conspiracies.
423
00:17:28,543 --> 00:17:31,295
Mm, so is he here
visiting his number-one fan
424
00:17:31,379 --> 00:17:33,964
or here on business?
425
00:17:34,048 --> 00:17:36,133
He thinks that there
might be alien activity
426
00:17:36,217 --> 00:17:37,385
right here in Patience.
427
00:17:37,469 --> 00:17:39,637
He's checking out a lead now.
428
00:17:39,721 --> 00:17:41,263
How exciting is that?
429
00:17:41,347 --> 00:17:43,641
Wow, that is really exciting.
430
00:17:43,725 --> 00:17:46,268
Man, he means business.
431
00:17:46,352 --> 00:17:48,104
I wouldn't want
to be that alien.
432
00:17:48,188 --> 00:17:51,232
[Belle and Sebastian's
"Sukie in the Graveyard"]
433
00:17:51,316 --> 00:17:53,484
Hi, Dr. Vanderspeigle.
434
00:17:53,568 --> 00:17:56,987
Can I ask you about making
an appointment for...
435
00:17:57,071 --> 00:17:58,823
♪ Sukie was the kid ♪
436
00:17:58,907 --> 00:18:00,866
♪ She liked to hang out
in the graveyard ♪
437
00:18:00,950 --> 00:18:02,034
Excuse me.
438
00:18:02,118 --> 00:18:03,536
♪ She did brass rubbings ♪
439
00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:06,539
♪ She learned
she never had to press hard ♪
440
00:18:06,623 --> 00:18:08,374
♪ When she was finished
hanging out ♪
441
00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:09,959
♪ She was all alone ♪
442
00:18:10,043 --> 00:18:12,169
♪ She decided that she better
check in at home ♪
443
00:18:12,253 --> 00:18:14,380
♪ There was an awful row
between her mum and dad ♪
444
00:18:14,464 --> 00:18:16,882
♪ They said she hadn't done
this, she hadn't done that ♪
445
00:18:16,966 --> 00:18:19,176
♪ If she wanted to remain
inside the family home ♪
446
00:18:19,260 --> 00:18:21,679
♪ She'd have to toe the line,
she'd have to give it a go ♪
447
00:18:21,763 --> 00:18:24,682
♪ It didn't suit Sukie,
she took her things and left ♪
448
00:18:24,766 --> 00:18:29,019
[♪ ♪]
449
00:18:29,103 --> 00:18:30,688
[chuckles]
450
00:18:30,772 --> 00:18:32,648
♪ She liked to hang out
in the graveyard ♪
451
00:18:32,732 --> 00:18:34,567
[♪ ♪]
452
00:18:34,651 --> 00:18:37,111
[objects clatter]
453
00:18:37,195 --> 00:18:39,071
Ah.
454
00:18:39,155 --> 00:18:40,573
I should have killed you
455
00:18:40,657 --> 00:18:42,908
when you were begging me
not to rip your neck open
456
00:18:42,992 --> 00:18:44,493
like a stupid baby.
457
00:18:44,577 --> 00:18:46,203
Sometimes I wish you had.
458
00:18:46,287 --> 00:18:48,080
The only thing
that kept me going
459
00:18:48,164 --> 00:18:52,168
was the incontrovertible fact
that the next time I saw you,
460
00:18:52,252 --> 00:18:56,714
you would be the one
cowering in fear.
461
00:18:56,798 --> 00:18:58,215
[electricity buzzing]
462
00:18:58,299 --> 00:19:00,092
I did not want
to murder this man
463
00:19:00,176 --> 00:19:01,927
in the middle of town.
464
00:19:02,011 --> 00:19:03,929
It is going to be messy
for the people
465
00:19:04,013 --> 00:19:05,431
who clean up dead bodies.
466
00:19:05,515 --> 00:19:08,100
I'll write "sorry"
on the wall in his blood.
467
00:19:08,184 --> 00:19:10,060
[electricity buzzing]
468
00:19:10,144 --> 00:19:12,274
[growls]
469
00:19:13,982 --> 00:19:17,109
Witness, he... he was texting
while walking.
470
00:19:17,193 --> 00:19:18,986
Sustained, Your Honor.
471
00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:21,071
Exhibit, bailiff.
472
00:19:21,155 --> 00:19:23,240
It's okay, ma'am.
473
00:19:23,324 --> 00:19:25,409
It'll take more than that
to take me out.
474
00:19:25,493 --> 00:19:27,328
[sighs in relief]
475
00:19:27,412 --> 00:19:30,242
Oh, there you are.
476
00:19:32,542 --> 00:19:36,462
Your underwear
is arousing me sexually.
477
00:19:36,546 --> 00:19:38,589
Let me buy you a beer,
478
00:19:38,673 --> 00:19:41,926
uh, woman that I just met.
479
00:19:42,010 --> 00:19:44,970
[chuckles]
480
00:19:45,054 --> 00:19:47,473
[indistinct chatter]
481
00:19:47,557 --> 00:19:51,143
So... this is finally
happening, huh?
482
00:19:51,227 --> 00:19:52,770
- Mm.
- I remember that pap smear.
483
00:19:52,854 --> 00:19:55,022
You were down there
for quite a while.
484
00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:56,190
[chuckles awkwardly]
485
00:19:56,274 --> 00:19:58,234
I think you saw
something you liked.
486
00:19:58,318 --> 00:19:59,401
- I get it.
- Oh, no!
487
00:19:59,485 --> 00:20:01,362
We have changed.
488
00:20:01,446 --> 00:20:03,113
We have grown apart.
489
00:20:03,197 --> 00:20:06,659
The mature thing for us to do
is to go our way separately.
490
00:20:06,743 --> 00:20:08,744
It is not me.
It is you.
491
00:20:08,828 --> 00:20:09,828
It is me.
492
00:20:13,166 --> 00:20:15,292
- [door opens]
- Well, crap.
493
00:20:15,376 --> 00:20:18,170
- Can you spot me a tequila?
- Sure.
494
00:20:18,254 --> 00:20:21,464
Yeah, just got diz-numped.
495
00:20:23,676 --> 00:20:24,969
Hello.
496
00:20:25,053 --> 00:20:27,304
[soft music playing]
497
00:20:27,388 --> 00:20:30,975
I saved your breakfast.
498
00:20:31,059 --> 00:20:33,978
The busboy tried to take it.
I had to show him my gun.
499
00:20:34,062 --> 00:20:35,312
Yeah, I'm not hungry.
500
00:20:35,396 --> 00:20:37,314
I grabbed a sandwich
at the deli.
501
00:20:37,398 --> 00:20:38,649
Oh.
502
00:20:38,733 --> 00:20:41,193
Anyway, you ran off so fast.
503
00:20:41,277 --> 00:20:42,653
Did you find something?
504
00:20:42,737 --> 00:20:44,822
[whispering]
Uh, was it the alien?
505
00:20:44,906 --> 00:20:46,282
[sighs]
506
00:20:46,366 --> 00:20:48,367
You know, people think you have
to be alone somewhere
507
00:20:48,451 --> 00:20:50,160
for them to get to you.
508
00:20:50,244 --> 00:20:52,830
My wife and I were on
a crowded bus in New York City,
509
00:20:52,914 --> 00:20:57,042
and they ripped my child out
of my wife's pregnant belly.
510
00:20:57,126 --> 00:21:00,254
I'm not gonna let anyone else
suffer like we did.
511
00:21:00,338 --> 00:21:02,882
So, even if there was an alien
standing right next to us,
512
00:21:02,966 --> 00:21:04,592
I would not tell you.
513
00:21:04,676 --> 00:21:06,760
And I wouldn't take
any action...
514
00:21:06,844 --> 00:21:10,097
not with any innocent
people around.
515
00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:12,516
That is so admirable.
516
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:13,851
Did I say that already?
517
00:21:13,935 --> 00:21:15,853
I feel like
I'm repeating myself.
518
00:21:15,937 --> 00:21:17,521
My elbows are hot again.
519
00:21:17,605 --> 00:21:19,690
So what did you
want to show me?
520
00:21:19,774 --> 00:21:21,734
Oh.
521
00:21:21,818 --> 00:21:27,364
[♪ ♪]
522
00:21:27,448 --> 00:21:31,619
I've been documenting possible
alien activity in Patience,
523
00:21:31,703 --> 00:21:33,454
possible UFO sightings,
524
00:21:33,538 --> 00:21:36,749
you know,
the stuff people call in about.
525
00:21:36,833 --> 00:21:40,377
[♪ ♪]
526
00:21:40,461 --> 00:21:43,547
[dramatic music]
527
00:21:43,631 --> 00:21:45,132
What is this?
528
00:21:45,216 --> 00:21:47,384
Oh, that was a hoax
started by the mayor's son.
529
00:21:47,468 --> 00:21:49,595
I already questioned him.
It was nothing.
530
00:21:49,679 --> 00:21:52,222
Unless it means something
to you.
531
00:21:52,306 --> 00:21:54,391
No.
532
00:21:54,475 --> 00:21:57,102
May I hang on to this
for a bit?
533
00:21:57,186 --> 00:21:58,896
You like my book?
534
00:21:58,980 --> 00:22:01,440
Of course, yes,
you can hang on to it.
535
00:22:03,276 --> 00:22:04,526
Sweaty.
536
00:22:04,610 --> 00:22:07,279
Let's catch up tonight,
2100 hours.
537
00:22:07,363 --> 00:22:08,822
Is there a tavern around here?
538
00:22:08,906 --> 00:22:11,241
Yeah, we have a pub.
It's called The 59.
539
00:22:11,325 --> 00:22:12,618
I prefer a tavern.
540
00:22:12,702 --> 00:22:15,079
- Is there a difference?
- There is a big difference.
541
00:22:15,163 --> 00:22:17,083
Oh, we just have a pub.
542
00:22:18,416 --> 00:22:19,583
I suppose I can go with that.
543
00:22:19,667 --> 00:22:21,543
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
544
00:22:21,627 --> 00:22:24,087
I'll see you there.
You stay safe, now.
545
00:22:30,094 --> 00:22:33,263
Okay.
546
00:22:33,347 --> 00:22:37,267
Okay, these are for heartburn.
547
00:22:37,351 --> 00:22:39,937
These are
for my cat's heartburn.
548
00:22:40,021 --> 00:22:43,148
Ooh, I don't know
what this one is.
549
00:22:43,232 --> 00:22:45,526
[coughs] Oh.
550
00:22:45,610 --> 00:22:47,528
I think that one was a bead.
551
00:22:47,612 --> 00:22:49,279
Judes, my knee is on fire.
552
00:22:49,363 --> 00:22:51,115
I need the pain meds
that you took
553
00:22:51,199 --> 00:22:52,574
after you fell off the roof.
554
00:22:52,658 --> 00:22:56,286
Yeah, roofing looks like
it'd be so easy, yeah?
555
00:22:56,370 --> 00:22:57,830
[scoffs] It's not.
556
00:22:57,914 --> 00:23:00,624
[sighs]
Ooh, maybe these ones.
557
00:23:00,708 --> 00:23:03,293
- Do you have dry mouth...
- Yes.
558
00:23:03,377 --> 00:23:05,004
- Constipation...
- So much.
559
00:23:05,088 --> 00:23:07,464
- And mood swings?
- Oh, my God, give me those.
560
00:23:07,548 --> 00:23:09,508
That's it.
561
00:23:09,592 --> 00:23:11,635
Can... can I keep
just, like, one,
562
00:23:11,719 --> 00:23:13,679
just in case
I swallow any more beads?
563
00:23:13,763 --> 00:23:16,807
No, just don't eat beads.
564
00:23:16,891 --> 00:23:18,350
Wow.
565
00:23:18,434 --> 00:23:20,474
Are you, like, a doctor?
566
00:23:23,314 --> 00:23:25,149
[door closes]
567
00:23:25,233 --> 00:23:27,776
[scarfing]
568
00:23:27,860 --> 00:23:31,155
What are you doing here?
569
00:23:31,239 --> 00:23:32,999
Oh, you should be hiding.
570
00:23:35,076 --> 00:23:36,535
I'm an alien.
571
00:23:36,619 --> 00:23:38,495
Aliens do not hide from humans.
572
00:23:38,579 --> 00:23:40,205
Well, you should.
573
00:23:40,289 --> 00:23:41,707
I talked to Liv.
574
00:23:41,791 --> 00:23:44,168
This whole Alien Tracker thing
is not just for show.
575
00:23:44,252 --> 00:23:46,211
He's an expert on aliens.
576
00:23:46,295 --> 00:23:47,588
He even wrote a book
577
00:23:47,672 --> 00:23:50,549
about some secret alien
government program.
578
00:23:50,633 --> 00:23:53,343
Harry, he could hurt you.
579
00:23:53,427 --> 00:23:55,095
Could you tell
the angry nurse
580
00:23:55,179 --> 00:23:59,266
to make a ham sandwich
next time?
581
00:23:59,350 --> 00:24:02,019
I feel like maybe you're not
taking this very seriously.
582
00:24:02,103 --> 00:24:03,854
What could
the Alien Tracker know
583
00:24:03,938 --> 00:24:05,689
about aliens that I do not?
584
00:24:05,773 --> 00:24:09,902
He knows about a secret
government alien program,
585
00:24:09,986 --> 00:24:11,904
which means
he could know anything,
586
00:24:11,988 --> 00:24:14,281
about your people, the Greys.
587
00:24:14,365 --> 00:24:15,699
Who knows?
588
00:24:15,783 --> 00:24:17,284
It's not safe for you
to wander around here.
589
00:24:17,368 --> 00:24:18,744
You really should
go home and hide.
590
00:24:18,828 --> 00:24:21,538
Humans hide.
Aliens hunt.
591
00:24:21,622 --> 00:24:22,956
If the Alien Tracker
592
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,958
has gained insider knowledge
on the Greys,
593
00:24:25,042 --> 00:24:27,169
perhaps I can use him
to get to them.
594
00:24:27,253 --> 00:24:28,879
Okay, I will go.
595
00:24:28,963 --> 00:24:30,380
Thank you.
596
00:24:30,464 --> 00:24:32,341
Do you want my pickle?
597
00:24:32,425 --> 00:24:33,967
It's floppy.
598
00:24:34,051 --> 00:24:35,219
No.
599
00:24:35,303 --> 00:24:36,386
All right.
600
00:24:36,470 --> 00:24:39,389
[mysterious music]
601
00:24:39,473 --> 00:24:46,643
[♪ ♪]
602
00:24:48,649 --> 00:24:51,527
[crunches]
603
00:24:51,611 --> 00:24:56,323
[♪ ♪]
604
00:24:56,407 --> 00:24:58,450
Max.
605
00:24:58,534 --> 00:25:00,911
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to startle you.
606
00:25:00,995 --> 00:25:03,997
- My name is Peter Bach.
- You're the Alien Tracker!
607
00:25:04,081 --> 00:25:06,416
I need your help
finding someone...
608
00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:09,419
or maybe I should say
"something."
609
00:25:09,503 --> 00:25:11,964
Uh, that's just
a joke I made up.
610
00:25:12,048 --> 00:25:14,925
I'm really funny for my size.
[chuckles awkwardly]
611
00:25:15,009 --> 00:25:17,094
Well, I-I don't think
it's a joke.
612
00:25:17,178 --> 00:25:19,805
This looks exactly
like an extraterrestrial
613
00:25:19,889 --> 00:25:22,975
that I saw here today.
614
00:25:23,059 --> 00:25:26,145
- You can really see them?
- Just like you.
615
00:25:26,229 --> 00:25:30,482
[♪ ♪]
616
00:25:30,566 --> 00:25:34,027
No, I told you...
I just made it up.
617
00:25:34,111 --> 00:25:36,780
I remember when I saw
my first alien
618
00:25:36,864 --> 00:25:38,282
that had a humanoid form.
619
00:25:38,366 --> 00:25:41,827
But when I saw his face...
like a snake.
620
00:25:41,911 --> 00:25:44,413
Whoa.
An Alpha Draconian.
621
00:25:44,497 --> 00:25:47,958
His gaze bore
right into mine,
622
00:25:48,042 --> 00:25:50,669
but no one else could see
what I saw.
623
00:25:50,753 --> 00:25:52,462
To them, he looked
just like a regular person.
624
00:25:52,546 --> 00:25:55,048
I thought I was going crazy.
625
00:25:55,132 --> 00:25:57,634
Now, you've probably been
called crazy before. Too.
626
00:25:57,718 --> 00:25:59,094
Yeah.
627
00:25:59,178 --> 00:26:01,346
Why don't you
tell me who he is?
628
00:26:01,430 --> 00:26:04,641
[♪ ♪]
629
00:26:04,725 --> 00:26:07,102
- I can't.
- Max, listen to me.
630
00:26:07,186 --> 00:26:09,479
I understand.
You're trying to protect him.
631
00:26:09,563 --> 00:26:10,939
H-he's probably
got you convinced
632
00:26:11,023 --> 00:26:12,482
that he's your friend.
633
00:26:12,566 --> 00:26:15,485
But aliens don't come
all this way to be our friends.
634
00:26:15,569 --> 00:26:17,487
They come here to do us harm.
635
00:26:17,571 --> 00:26:20,824
This one won't.
He's a good alien.
636
00:26:20,908 --> 00:26:23,493
You see this?
637
00:26:23,577 --> 00:26:25,913
He did that.
638
00:26:25,997 --> 00:26:28,415
He would kill me
if he had half a chance.
639
00:26:28,499 --> 00:26:32,502
And if it suits him,
that alien will kill you, too.
640
00:26:32,586 --> 00:26:35,255
[dramatic music]
641
00:26:35,339 --> 00:26:39,176
Here, call me when you're ready
to tell me who he is.
642
00:26:39,260 --> 00:26:42,429
All of humanity
might be at stake.
643
00:26:42,513 --> 00:26:47,517
[♪ ♪]
644
00:26:47,601 --> 00:26:50,854
There is a word
for little boys like Max...
645
00:26:50,938 --> 00:26:52,397
"Traitor."
646
00:26:52,481 --> 00:26:54,191
[engine turning over]
647
00:26:54,275 --> 00:26:57,027
And also "shit weasel"
and "dink."
648
00:26:57,111 --> 00:26:58,731
There are many words.
649
00:27:03,617 --> 00:27:06,161
- Here you go, honey.
- Mmm, thank you, hon.
650
00:27:06,245 --> 00:27:08,121
- Excellent soup.
- Mm-hmm.
651
00:27:08,205 --> 00:27:09,539
Oh, thank you.
652
00:27:09,623 --> 00:27:12,542
You know how a taste
can take you back?
653
00:27:12,626 --> 00:27:14,544
This soup here...
This reminds me this one time.
654
00:27:14,628 --> 00:27:16,546
- Five years ago...
- Mm-hmm.
655
00:27:16,630 --> 00:27:20,550
I had a bowl of soup...
Taste just like this.
656
00:27:20,634 --> 00:27:22,678
Speaking of work, I heard
657
00:27:22,762 --> 00:27:26,098
uh, there was quite a commotion
on Main Street the other day.
658
00:27:26,182 --> 00:27:27,599
- Hmm.
- Apparently Mike
659
00:27:27,683 --> 00:27:30,143
had to round up a pack
of rowdy teenagers.
660
00:27:30,227 --> 00:27:31,770
Yes, I did.
661
00:27:31,854 --> 00:27:35,232
They were throwing Dan's stale
dumpster doughnuts at traffic.
662
00:27:35,316 --> 00:27:37,401
They were frozen solid
like hockey pucks,
663
00:27:37,485 --> 00:27:38,652
could have killed somebody.
664
00:27:38,736 --> 00:27:41,238
You know, why would they do
such a thing?
665
00:27:41,322 --> 00:27:44,366
I'll tell you why...
Boredom.
666
00:27:44,450 --> 00:27:47,744
Yes, it is a big,
big problem in quiet towns.
667
00:27:47,828 --> 00:27:49,162
Oh, is that so?
668
00:27:49,246 --> 00:27:50,580
It is so.
669
00:27:50,664 --> 00:27:52,457
You know, teenagers,
they need something
670
00:27:52,541 --> 00:27:54,835
to keep their naturally
criminal mind occupied,
671
00:27:54,919 --> 00:27:58,255
you know, something like skiing
or riding gondolas
672
00:27:58,339 --> 00:28:00,007
or shopping at hip stores.
673
00:28:00,091 --> 00:28:01,842
Oh, I see what this is.
674
00:28:01,926 --> 00:28:03,176
What? This is nothing.
675
00:28:03,260 --> 00:28:05,721
I just invited Mike over
for a good meal.
676
00:28:05,805 --> 00:28:07,472
Although
technically food isn't a meal
677
00:28:07,556 --> 00:28:08,849
unless it's solid, but...
678
00:28:08,933 --> 00:28:11,601
I do understand where
you're coming from Mike.
679
00:28:11,685 --> 00:28:14,187
Obviously, there's a lot
to gain from a resort,
680
00:28:14,271 --> 00:28:17,441
but I now realize that there
may be a lot more to lose.
681
00:28:17,525 --> 00:28:19,901
You see, you and I...
We're a lot alike.
682
00:28:19,985 --> 00:28:22,279
We're both city people.
We miss the same things...
683
00:28:22,363 --> 00:28:23,947
You know, the action,
the culture,
684
00:28:24,031 --> 00:28:25,949
having a museum
that's got something in it
685
00:28:26,033 --> 00:28:29,661
other than pickaxes
and whorehouse furniture.
686
00:28:29,745 --> 00:28:31,997
Sorry about that. You probably
don't know what that is.
687
00:28:32,081 --> 00:28:33,999
- No, he doesn't.
- Okay.
688
00:28:34,083 --> 00:28:36,293
You see, a whore is somebody
who gets paid for sex,
689
00:28:36,377 --> 00:28:37,794
- like a prostitute or...
- Okay.
690
00:28:37,878 --> 00:28:40,172
Okay, I think that's enough
of a vocabulary lesson.
691
00:28:40,256 --> 00:28:42,966
I love cities and museums,
692
00:28:43,050 --> 00:28:44,634
but Patience is a quaint town,
693
00:28:44,718 --> 00:28:47,304
and I'm really beginning
to appreciate that.
694
00:28:47,388 --> 00:28:48,889
A resort would take away
its charm.
695
00:28:48,973 --> 00:28:51,433
Patience don't need charm.
It needs rats.
696
00:28:51,517 --> 00:28:52,768
Uh, W-what's that?
697
00:28:52,852 --> 00:28:54,561
- I like rats.
- You should.
698
00:28:54,645 --> 00:28:57,481
Nothing says successful town
like a good rat infestation.
699
00:28:57,565 --> 00:28:58,648
See, every healthy town
700
00:28:58,732 --> 00:29:00,692
has restaurants
that's full of people,
701
00:29:00,776 --> 00:29:02,319
and that means they throwing
away half their food,
702
00:29:02,403 --> 00:29:03,612
and that brings in the rats.
703
00:29:03,696 --> 00:29:05,655
This one time,
I was on a stakeout in D. C.,
704
00:29:05,739 --> 00:29:08,200
and I fell asleep, and a rat
ran right across my face.
705
00:29:08,284 --> 00:29:10,619
I knew at that moment,
I had made it.
706
00:29:10,703 --> 00:29:12,663
I think you're losing
the argument.
707
00:29:13,998 --> 00:29:15,415
Why did I even go?
708
00:29:15,499 --> 00:29:17,209
What did I expect?
709
00:29:17,293 --> 00:29:19,419
She's your mom.
You had to try.
710
00:29:19,503 --> 00:29:21,505
[sighs] I know.
711
00:29:21,589 --> 00:29:22,839
I just thought
that she would tell me
712
00:29:22,923 --> 00:29:26,218
that what happened to her
was like with me and Jay,
713
00:29:26,302 --> 00:29:27,844
you know?
714
00:29:27,928 --> 00:29:30,931
She gave me up
to give me a better life,
715
00:29:31,015 --> 00:29:33,100
but she still loved me...
716
00:29:33,184 --> 00:29:35,352
or at least thought of me.
717
00:29:35,436 --> 00:29:37,312
Except it's not true.
718
00:29:37,396 --> 00:29:39,231
You know what every child
needs most?
719
00:29:39,315 --> 00:29:40,816
- Hmm?
- For their mother to tell them
720
00:29:40,900 --> 00:29:43,026
they love them and that they'll
always be there for them.
721
00:29:43,110 --> 00:29:44,569
It's, like, the bare minimum.
722
00:29:44,653 --> 00:29:46,363
I could have used that.
723
00:29:46,447 --> 00:29:48,865
Yeah, but she couldn't give
that to you.
724
00:29:48,949 --> 00:29:51,118
And that's on her.
You can't control that.
725
00:29:51,202 --> 00:29:54,037
And, yeah, it left a big hole,
726
00:29:54,121 --> 00:29:58,166
but you filled that
with family, with your dad,
727
00:29:58,250 --> 00:30:01,294
Graham, me, all of us.
728
00:30:01,378 --> 00:30:03,046
And we love you
unconditionally,
729
00:30:03,130 --> 00:30:05,549
and that's never gonna change.
730
00:30:05,633 --> 00:30:09,386
Thank you.
I love you guys, too.
731
00:30:09,470 --> 00:30:12,389
[soft music playing]
732
00:30:12,473 --> 00:30:15,142
What's this?
This my tip?
733
00:30:15,226 --> 00:30:16,518
Sorry, it's all I got.
734
00:30:16,602 --> 00:30:19,062
Well, maybe then don't come
into a bar.
735
00:30:19,146 --> 00:30:20,397
How about that?
Yeah?
736
00:30:20,481 --> 00:30:22,649
- Okay. Wow. Okay.
- No, it's not okay, actually.
737
00:30:22,733 --> 00:30:24,734
What the hell's wrong with you?
It's ruining the Earth.
738
00:30:24,818 --> 00:30:27,487
These are precious metals,
all right?
739
00:30:27,571 --> 00:30:30,157
[coin clatters]
740
00:30:30,241 --> 00:30:31,575
Can I get
you two hotties anything?
741
00:30:31,659 --> 00:30:33,577
- Uh, no.
- No.
742
00:30:33,661 --> 00:30:34,661
We're... we're good.
743
00:30:34,745 --> 00:30:36,955
Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!
744
00:30:37,039 --> 00:30:39,291
You let me know.
745
00:30:39,375 --> 00:30:42,794
- What the hell was that?
- [inhales deeply]
746
00:30:42,878 --> 00:30:44,880
And, yes, a new soccer field
would be nice,
747
00:30:44,964 --> 00:30:46,506
but at what cost?
748
00:30:46,590 --> 00:30:48,425
You know, the added revenue
the resort brings in
749
00:30:48,509 --> 00:30:49,593
would be so good for the town.
750
00:30:49,677 --> 00:30:51,178
I mean, think... think
of the tourism.
751
00:30:51,262 --> 00:30:52,596
Honey, I am talking to Mike.
752
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:53,930
- You know the pact.
- Mm-hmm.
753
00:30:54,014 --> 00:30:55,182
You and I shouldn't
get into it.
754
00:30:55,266 --> 00:30:56,808
Right.
755
00:30:56,892 --> 00:30:58,643
Tell the mayor that tourists
bring a lot more than money.
756
00:30:58,727 --> 00:31:00,228
They bring traffic and noise.
757
00:31:00,312 --> 00:31:02,439
I mean, and can we even talk
about the environmental impact?
758
00:31:02,523 --> 00:31:03,607
- [scoffs]
- I mean, you...
759
00:31:03,691 --> 00:31:04,900
You just heard that, right?
760
00:31:04,984 --> 00:31:06,776
It don't make no sense
for me to repeat it
761
00:31:06,860 --> 00:31:08,778
- if you just heard it.
- Well, see, what impact?
762
00:31:08,862 --> 00:31:09,863
The developer has
763
00:31:09,947 --> 00:31:11,781
a near-perfect
environmental record.
764
00:31:11,865 --> 00:31:13,783
Okay, is there
another way of saying that?
765
00:31:13,867 --> 00:31:15,494
'Cause that makes it sound
like it ain't perfect.
766
00:31:15,578 --> 00:31:17,537
It's not perfect...
If they get a resort,
767
00:31:17,621 --> 00:31:19,623
we'd lose 2% of the state's
natural geese habitat.
768
00:31:19,707 --> 00:31:21,166
If we have a resort,
769
00:31:21,250 --> 00:31:23,543
the state
gets 200% more snowplows.
770
00:31:23,627 --> 00:31:25,086
Max, you like snowplows, right?
771
00:31:25,170 --> 00:31:26,963
Max, how do you like
to see your geese...
772
00:31:27,047 --> 00:31:29,633
Up in the air
or in a mass grave?
773
00:31:29,717 --> 00:31:33,220
I'm gonna go eat upstairs.
774
00:31:33,304 --> 00:31:34,804
[clears throat]
775
00:31:34,888 --> 00:31:36,598
I mean, personally,
I think the geese can move.
776
00:31:36,682 --> 00:31:38,141
I mean, they can fly.
777
00:31:38,225 --> 00:31:40,977
Okay.
You want to talk?
778
00:31:41,061 --> 00:31:42,896
Let's talk it out.
779
00:31:42,980 --> 00:31:44,856
So you get a resort.
780
00:31:44,940 --> 00:31:47,234
Maybe some rich businessman
runs it.
781
00:31:47,318 --> 00:31:49,402
He comes to town.
He likes it here.
782
00:31:49,486 --> 00:31:52,197
Maybe he even runs
for mayor and wins.
783
00:31:52,281 --> 00:31:53,740
Everybody likes him.
784
00:31:53,824 --> 00:31:56,201
Now let's say that
that businessman
785
00:31:56,285 --> 00:31:57,869
starts throwing
his money around,
786
00:31:57,953 --> 00:32:01,248
and suddenly all the buildings
are ugly and modern
787
00:32:01,332 --> 00:32:02,999
and have his name on them.
788
00:32:03,083 --> 00:32:04,376
He gets cocky.
789
00:32:04,460 --> 00:32:06,336
He offers you a million dollars
to bang your wife.
790
00:32:06,420 --> 00:32:07,671
- [chokes]
- Uh, what's that?
791
00:32:07,755 --> 00:32:09,172
And I say, "No,
I'm not some cheap whore.
792
00:32:09,256 --> 00:32:10,257
"A million dollars
793
00:32:10,341 --> 00:32:11,841
is practically nothing
these days."
794
00:32:11,925 --> 00:32:13,385
So he offers me $5 million.
795
00:32:13,469 --> 00:32:15,262
And I say, "For that amount,
you can have me all weekend,"
796
00:32:15,346 --> 00:32:17,097
'cause he's not just rich.
797
00:32:17,181 --> 00:32:18,931
He's also really hot.
798
00:32:21,644 --> 00:32:24,688
Okay, you guys changed gears
way too fast.
799
00:32:24,772 --> 00:32:27,524
There was a child down here
not two minutes ago.
800
00:32:27,608 --> 00:32:30,527
[mysterious music]
801
00:32:30,611 --> 00:32:36,199
[♪ ♪]
802
00:32:36,283 --> 00:32:38,827
- What are you doing here?
- I'm eating your candy.
803
00:32:38,911 --> 00:32:39,828
It's stale.
804
00:32:39,912 --> 00:32:41,204
You should have
another Halloween
805
00:32:41,288 --> 00:32:42,539
so you can get fresh ones.
806
00:32:42,623 --> 00:32:45,208
You know,
the police are downstairs.
807
00:32:45,292 --> 00:32:46,710
I could just scream.
808
00:32:46,794 --> 00:32:48,169
Why scream for the police?
809
00:32:48,253 --> 00:32:52,632
Why not scream for your new
friend, the Alien Tracker?
810
00:32:52,716 --> 00:32:54,801
[♪ ♪]
811
00:32:54,885 --> 00:32:56,175
How do you know about that?
812
00:32:58,305 --> 00:33:00,307
Tell me where I can find him.
813
00:33:00,391 --> 00:33:02,475
I...
814
00:33:02,559 --> 00:33:03,727
can't.
815
00:33:03,811 --> 00:33:05,604
Because you are his friend.
816
00:33:05,688 --> 00:33:07,564
You were my friend first.
817
00:33:07,648 --> 00:33:08,857
You said I wasn't
your friend.
818
00:33:08,941 --> 00:33:10,984
You said I was like your dad.
819
00:33:11,068 --> 00:33:12,402
You spanked me.
820
00:33:12,486 --> 00:33:16,698
Softly, like a father
who wants to be your friend.
821
00:33:16,782 --> 00:33:19,743
Yeah, I was going to buy
a motorcycle with a sidecar
822
00:33:19,827 --> 00:33:24,247
so we could ride around town
together, like friends do.
823
00:33:24,331 --> 00:33:27,083
I don't believe you, because
when I asked if you wanted
824
00:33:27,167 --> 00:33:29,252
to ride in my bicycle basket
like ET,
825
00:33:29,336 --> 00:33:31,588
you told me to fill
my basket with rocks
826
00:33:31,672 --> 00:33:33,340
and ride into the lake.
827
00:33:33,424 --> 00:33:35,592
Because I am
not the same size.
828
00:33:35,676 --> 00:33:39,929
ET was shaped like
a sexy potato.
829
00:33:40,013 --> 00:33:42,932
He's perfect for basket rides.
830
00:33:43,016 --> 00:33:45,268
I need salty to follow sweet.
831
00:33:45,352 --> 00:33:46,603
Yeah.
832
00:33:46,687 --> 00:33:49,189
And then I'm going
to need sweet again.
833
00:33:49,273 --> 00:33:51,232
[chuckles]
834
00:33:51,316 --> 00:33:53,401
Mmm, could be warmer.
835
00:33:53,485 --> 00:33:55,779
So...
836
00:33:55,863 --> 00:33:58,782
did you tell
your Alien Tracker friend
837
00:33:58,866 --> 00:34:00,617
where I live so he could come
to my house
838
00:34:00,701 --> 00:34:01,785
and put me in a cage?
839
00:34:01,869 --> 00:34:03,662
I didn't tell him, I swear.
840
00:34:03,746 --> 00:34:05,664
I don't believe you.
841
00:34:05,748 --> 00:34:07,499
That's because
you're always lying,
842
00:34:07,583 --> 00:34:09,042
so you think everyone
else is, too.
843
00:34:09,126 --> 00:34:12,128
You lie, too,
just like me, and steal,
844
00:34:12,212 --> 00:34:16,172
just like I am going to steal
all of your candy.
845
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:22,806
- See, we are so alike.
- [sighs]
846
00:34:22,890 --> 00:34:25,433
You should help me get
this hairless asshole.
847
00:34:25,517 --> 00:34:26,434
[sniffles]
848
00:34:26,518 --> 00:34:29,396
[somber music]
849
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,147
But I like him.
850
00:34:31,231 --> 00:34:32,691
He's the first grown-up
I ever met
851
00:34:32,775 --> 00:34:34,401
who makes me
feel like I'm not a freak.
852
00:34:34,485 --> 00:34:35,860
He understands me.
853
00:34:35,944 --> 00:34:37,821
He doesn't understand you.
854
00:34:37,905 --> 00:34:39,406
No one knows you
like I know you.
855
00:34:39,490 --> 00:34:41,324
Think of a number
between one and ten.
856
00:34:41,408 --> 00:34:45,161
If we think of the same number,
then we are the same,
857
00:34:45,245 --> 00:34:46,413
and you will help me.
858
00:34:46,497 --> 00:34:48,039
What number
are you thinking of?
859
00:34:48,123 --> 00:34:49,416
Six.
860
00:34:49,500 --> 00:34:52,752
I was thinking of 6.5...
So close.
861
00:34:52,836 --> 00:34:55,088
We need to work
on our friendship.
862
00:34:55,172 --> 00:34:58,341
- Let's kill this guy together.
- No!
863
00:34:58,425 --> 00:34:59,676
Whose side are you on?
864
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,346
Look, if you will not pick
a side,
865
00:35:03,430 --> 00:35:06,099
then I will call
866
00:35:06,183 --> 00:35:09,060
my real friends.
867
00:35:09,144 --> 00:35:11,646
Hey.
868
00:35:11,730 --> 00:35:15,358
Lloyd, it's your homey,
869
00:35:15,442 --> 00:35:17,318
uh, Harry Vanderspeigle.
870
00:35:17,402 --> 00:35:19,696
Yes, uh, come to the cabin.
871
00:35:19,780 --> 00:35:21,698
Yeah, let's, uh, have
a dance party.
872
00:35:21,782 --> 00:35:22,991
Oh, no, no.
873
00:35:23,075 --> 00:35:24,868
Don't, uh, worry about it.
874
00:35:24,952 --> 00:35:27,954
I'm bringing the snacks.
[laughing]
875
00:35:28,038 --> 00:35:29,878
[sighs]
876
00:35:31,458 --> 00:35:34,085
[dramatic music]
877
00:35:34,169 --> 00:35:40,089
[♪ ♪]
878
00:35:44,638 --> 00:35:46,598
Thanks for meeting
for a drink.
879
00:35:46,682 --> 00:35:47,766
You don't have to thank me.
880
00:35:47,850 --> 00:35:49,267
I could drink
this whole bar dry
881
00:35:49,351 --> 00:35:50,894
after dinner with the mayor.
882
00:35:50,978 --> 00:35:53,730
That whole house is a giant
powder keg of sexual tension.
883
00:35:53,814 --> 00:35:56,065
[laughs]
Yeah, I've seen that.
884
00:35:56,149 --> 00:35:57,400
So where's
your Alien Tracker friend?
885
00:35:57,484 --> 00:35:59,319
You're supposed to meet him
here tonight, right?
886
00:35:59,403 --> 00:36:01,696
We were supposed to meet,
but he didn't show.
887
00:36:01,780 --> 00:36:03,531
- Sorry about that, Deputy.
- Don't be.
888
00:36:03,615 --> 00:36:04,866
He didn't show up
889
00:36:04,950 --> 00:36:07,827
because I think he's hot
on the trail of an alien.
890
00:36:07,911 --> 00:36:10,163
- [laughs]
- Okay, tease me if you want.
891
00:36:10,247 --> 00:36:11,456
I don't mind.
892
00:36:11,540 --> 00:36:14,584
You know, my whole life
I've been a bystander.
893
00:36:14,668 --> 00:36:16,252
I never call the shots.
894
00:36:16,336 --> 00:36:18,421
But this time I decided
to trust my instincts.
895
00:36:18,505 --> 00:36:19,881
I took control,
896
00:36:19,965 --> 00:36:23,051
and I got the Alien Tracker
himself to Patience.
897
00:36:23,135 --> 00:36:24,803
He came
because I made it happen.
898
00:36:24,887 --> 00:36:26,429
Well, good.
I'm proud of you, Deputy.
899
00:36:26,513 --> 00:36:27,680
Thank you.
900
00:36:27,764 --> 00:36:29,307
- I'm proud of me, too.
- Mm-hmm.
901
00:36:29,391 --> 00:36:31,184
You know, I've been sitting
back my whole life,
902
00:36:31,268 --> 00:36:33,436
and maybe I'm getting
tired of sitting.
903
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,770
- And don't be mad.
- Mad about what?
904
00:36:38,150 --> 00:36:40,819
Oh, my God, are you kidding me?
I'm not date-ready.
905
00:36:40,903 --> 00:36:42,403
This ain't even
my second best pair of pants.
906
00:36:42,487 --> 00:36:44,113
She looks nice,
and you do, too.
907
00:36:44,197 --> 00:36:46,115
Okay, all right, I got this.
Come on, go on.
908
00:36:46,199 --> 00:36:47,909
Go on. Get out. Go ahead.
I got it. I got it.
909
00:36:47,993 --> 00:36:49,619
You're dismissed, uh, Deputy.
[clears throat]
910
00:36:49,703 --> 00:36:50,870
- Hi.
- Hi.
911
00:36:50,954 --> 00:36:51,830
- Hey, there.
- I was just leaving.
912
00:36:51,914 --> 00:36:52,956
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
913
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,458
- Thanks, Deputy.
- Yep.
914
00:36:55,542 --> 00:36:57,293
- Sheriff.
- Detective.
915
00:36:57,377 --> 00:37:00,964
Do...
[laughter]
916
00:37:01,048 --> 00:37:03,800
I, um... I never figured you
for a patterned-shirt guy.
917
00:37:03,884 --> 00:37:05,468
I kind of like it.
918
00:37:05,552 --> 00:37:10,014
Yeah, well, the pattern helps
hide what's underneath here.
919
00:37:10,098 --> 00:37:11,891
Gerber StrongArm...
This right here
920
00:37:11,975 --> 00:37:13,815
is the best blade
money can buy.
921
00:37:15,604 --> 00:37:17,146
Couldn't agree more.
[laughs]
922
00:37:17,230 --> 00:37:18,231
I'll be damned.
923
00:37:18,315 --> 00:37:20,233
You know what?
Let me get you a beer.
924
00:37:20,317 --> 00:37:22,277
Uh, let me get you one.
925
00:37:22,361 --> 00:37:24,487
- Oh, gonna get me a beer?
- I am.
926
00:37:24,571 --> 00:37:26,364
- Okay.
- [laughs]
927
00:37:26,448 --> 00:37:29,367
[pop rock music]
928
00:37:29,451 --> 00:37:36,374
[♪ ♪]
929
00:37:36,458 --> 00:37:39,338
[cell phone ringing]
930
00:37:42,547 --> 00:37:45,049
Hey.
931
00:37:45,133 --> 00:37:47,552
Oh, my gosh, are you serious?
932
00:37:47,636 --> 00:37:49,053
That's great news.
933
00:37:49,137 --> 00:37:50,805
Ooh! Okay.
934
00:37:50,889 --> 00:37:52,339
Okay, good night.
935
00:37:59,606 --> 00:38:01,524
[both chuckle]
936
00:38:01,608 --> 00:38:02,859
Good news?
937
00:38:02,943 --> 00:38:04,861
It's not something
I can talk about here.
938
00:38:04,945 --> 00:38:07,030
It's just... it's no big deal.
939
00:38:07,114 --> 00:38:08,865
- Mm, honoring the pact.
- Mm-hmm.
940
00:38:08,949 --> 00:38:11,534
Okay, then.
941
00:38:11,618 --> 00:38:13,453
Yeah.
942
00:38:13,537 --> 00:38:15,248
- Restraining order?
- Granted.
943
00:38:15,333 --> 00:38:16,271
Damn it.
944
00:38:16,356 --> 00:38:19,022
Look, honey, I don't want
to talk about the resort, okay?
945
00:38:19,107 --> 00:38:20,793
Let's just leave it.
946
00:38:20,877 --> 00:38:23,504
The part of me
that's your husband...
947
00:38:23,588 --> 00:38:25,798
is glad to see you smiling.
948
00:38:25,882 --> 00:38:27,383
I like it when you're happy.
949
00:38:27,467 --> 00:38:29,802
Thank you.
950
00:38:29,886 --> 00:38:31,137
- I am.
- [chuckles]
951
00:38:31,221 --> 00:38:34,141
- I'm really happy.
- Both: Mmm.
952
00:38:36,977 --> 00:38:39,771
But the part of me
that's fighting for this resort
953
00:38:39,855 --> 00:38:42,398
cannot wait to crush you
in court.
954
00:38:42,482 --> 00:38:44,776
I will stomp you like a grape
955
00:38:44,860 --> 00:38:46,778
until you realize
you have wasted your time
956
00:38:46,862 --> 00:38:49,113
and you feel
absolutely worthless.
957
00:38:49,197 --> 00:38:51,950
- Okay, pact's back on.
- Mm-hmm.
958
00:38:52,034 --> 00:38:55,620
- Good night, honey.
- Night.
959
00:38:55,704 --> 00:38:59,582
[indistinct chatter]
960
00:38:59,666 --> 00:39:01,501
- Hey, Jay.
- [sighs]
961
00:39:01,585 --> 00:39:03,419
You got a minute?
962
00:39:03,503 --> 00:39:04,963
I just worked all night,
963
00:39:05,047 --> 00:39:07,590
and I have barbecue sauce
in my hair.
964
00:39:07,674 --> 00:39:08,925
I totally get that.
965
00:39:09,009 --> 00:39:10,802
I-I just need to tell you
this one thing.
966
00:39:10,886 --> 00:39:13,179
- [scoffs]
- Okay, um...
967
00:39:13,263 --> 00:39:17,350
you probably had a lot
of questions growing up,
968
00:39:17,434 --> 00:39:21,437
and maybe meeting me has helped
you answer some of them.
969
00:39:21,521 --> 00:39:24,816
But the most important thing
I need to tell you is...
970
00:39:24,900 --> 00:39:27,610
[sighs]
I love you.
971
00:39:27,694 --> 00:39:30,113
I've thought about you
every day of your life.
972
00:39:30,197 --> 00:39:33,783
And if you ever need me,
I'm here for you.
973
00:39:33,867 --> 00:39:37,954
And if you never need me,
that's okay, too.
974
00:39:38,038 --> 00:39:40,957
It's not your job
to worry about me.
975
00:39:41,041 --> 00:39:43,334
I'll be fine.
976
00:39:43,418 --> 00:39:44,794
And I'll still love you.
977
00:39:44,878 --> 00:39:46,796
[breathes shakily]
978
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:48,798
So...
979
00:39:48,882 --> 00:39:50,341
that's it.
980
00:39:50,425 --> 00:39:52,802
[sentimental music]
981
00:39:52,886 --> 00:39:54,512
All right.
982
00:39:54,596 --> 00:39:56,305
All right.
983
00:39:56,389 --> 00:39:59,684
[♪ ♪]
984
00:39:59,768 --> 00:40:03,104
[sighs happily]
985
00:40:03,188 --> 00:40:05,148
Hello?
986
00:40:05,232 --> 00:40:06,482
D'arcy?
987
00:40:11,071 --> 00:40:14,323
[door closes]
988
00:40:14,407 --> 00:40:17,035
Hey. D'arcy?
989
00:40:17,119 --> 00:40:20,496
[gasps, chuckles]
Oh, hey.
990
00:40:20,580 --> 00:40:22,874
Hey.
991
00:40:22,958 --> 00:40:25,585
- What's going on?
- I don't know. You tell me.
992
00:40:25,669 --> 00:40:27,170
It's 1:00 in the morning.
993
00:40:27,254 --> 00:40:29,505
Were you really gonna sleep
in here with the door unlocked?
994
00:40:29,589 --> 00:40:32,258
Um, I was just cleaning up.
I lost track of time.
995
00:40:32,342 --> 00:40:33,801
Really?
996
00:40:33,885 --> 00:40:35,720
'Cause it looked like you were
sleeping on the pool table.
997
00:40:35,804 --> 00:40:37,263
You gonna tell me
where to sleep now?
998
00:40:37,347 --> 00:40:38,598
- Okay.
- Wait, wait.
999
00:40:38,682 --> 00:40:40,683
We had plans.
1000
00:40:40,767 --> 00:40:43,644
I waited for two hours.
1001
00:40:43,728 --> 00:40:45,188
Maybe I should just take
a hint.
1002
00:40:45,272 --> 00:40:46,731
No.
1003
00:40:46,815 --> 00:40:48,483
Obviously you're not taking
me or any of this seriously.
1004
00:40:48,567 --> 00:40:50,359
I feel like you're
being a little dramatic.
1005
00:40:50,443 --> 00:40:52,528
If you care even just
a little bit about me,
1006
00:40:52,612 --> 00:40:54,992
you need to tell me
what's really going on.
1007
00:40:57,784 --> 00:40:59,243
Please?
1008
00:40:59,327 --> 00:41:01,037
- It's okay.
- [stammers]
1009
00:41:01,121 --> 00:41:02,872
It's fine, all right?
1010
00:41:02,956 --> 00:41:05,291
Just... let me just grab
my stuff, and we can go.
1011
00:41:05,375 --> 00:41:06,545
No.
1012
00:41:08,044 --> 00:41:11,172
What do you mean...
What do you mean "no"?
1013
00:41:11,256 --> 00:41:14,467
I think it's best
if we just leave it at this.
1014
00:41:14,551 --> 00:41:16,552
Elliot, like...
1015
00:41:16,636 --> 00:41:17,887
no.
1016
00:41:17,971 --> 00:41:20,890
[somber music]
1017
00:41:20,974 --> 00:41:23,226
[♪ ♪]
1018
00:41:23,310 --> 00:41:25,895
Don't...
1019
00:41:25,979 --> 00:41:27,605
Please don't go.
1020
00:41:27,689 --> 00:41:31,567
[♪ ♪]
1021
00:41:31,651 --> 00:41:34,570
[sighs]
1022
00:41:34,654 --> 00:41:36,614
[sobs]
1023
00:41:36,698 --> 00:41:38,783
[♪ ♪]
1024
00:41:38,867 --> 00:41:40,451
Bye, D'arcy.
1025
00:41:40,535 --> 00:41:47,333
[♪ ♪]
1026
00:41:47,417 --> 00:41:50,670
It's probably best
if you lock up behind me.
1027
00:41:50,754 --> 00:41:54,257
[♪ ♪]
1028
00:41:54,341 --> 00:41:56,634
[sobs]
1029
00:41:56,718 --> 00:41:58,428
[grunts]
1030
00:42:01,765 --> 00:42:04,600
[Brian Eno and David Byrne's
"One Fine Day"]
1031
00:42:04,684 --> 00:42:06,769
It is natural for aliens
to take control
1032
00:42:06,853 --> 00:42:08,312
of their lives.
1033
00:42:08,396 --> 00:42:11,065
It is not so natural
for humans.
1034
00:42:11,149 --> 00:42:18,239
[♪ ♪]
1035
00:42:24,704 --> 00:42:26,789
[crying]
1036
00:42:26,873 --> 00:42:28,416
[sighs]
1037
00:42:28,500 --> 00:42:32,336
♪ Saw the wanderin' eye ♪
1038
00:42:32,420 --> 00:42:35,006
♪ Inside my heart ♪
1039
00:42:35,090 --> 00:42:38,676
♪ Shouts and battle cries ♪
1040
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,345
♪ From every part ♪
1041
00:42:41,429 --> 00:42:45,057
♪ I can see those tears ♪
1042
00:42:45,141 --> 00:42:47,852
♪ Every one is true ♪
1043
00:42:47,936 --> 00:42:51,314
♪ When the door appears ♪
1044
00:42:51,398 --> 00:42:53,566
♪ I'll go right ♪
1045
00:42:53,650 --> 00:42:59,322
♪ Through ♪
1046
00:42:59,406 --> 00:43:01,657
Part of being human
is finding the strength
1047
00:43:01,741 --> 00:43:04,493
to fight through the obstacles
in your life.
1048
00:43:04,577 --> 00:43:06,537
[♪ ♪]
1049
00:43:06,621 --> 00:43:10,333
♪ I stand in liquid light ♪
1050
00:43:10,417 --> 00:43:13,085
♪ Like everyone ♪
1051
00:43:13,169 --> 00:43:17,006
♪ I built my life
with rhymes ♪
1052
00:43:17,090 --> 00:43:18,549
♪ To carry on... ♪
1053
00:43:18,633 --> 00:43:22,220
While there are some
obstacles you cannot control,
1054
00:43:22,304 --> 00:43:25,014
there are some you can.
1055
00:43:25,098 --> 00:43:29,185
[electricity buzzing]
1056
00:43:29,269 --> 00:43:32,313
♪ That one fine ♪
1057
00:43:32,397 --> 00:43:37,193
♪ One fine day ♪
1058
00:43:37,277 --> 00:43:38,420
Like a little boy
1059
00:43:38,505 --> 00:43:40,780
who wants to be friends
with an alien so badly,
1060
00:43:40,864 --> 00:43:43,532
he is willing to trick
that alien's enemy.
1061
00:43:43,616 --> 00:43:45,701
[♪ ♪]
1062
00:43:45,785 --> 00:43:48,705
[warbling]
1063
00:43:51,166 --> 00:43:53,716
Max picked the right side.
1064
00:43:55,806 --> 00:43:58,478
♪ No! ♪
1065
00:43:58,642 --> 00:44:02,301
♪ One fine day ♪
1066
00:44:02,385 --> 00:44:08,766
♪ One fine day ♪
1067
00:44:09,896 --> 00:44:15,816
♪ One fine day ♪
75192
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