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1
00:00:39,220 --> 00:00:43,860
Liberate me,
liberate me
2
00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:49,140
Liberate me, liberate me...
3
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:55,260
Around the sun
4
00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:57,860
On the run
5
00:00:57,940 --> 00:01:01,260
Nothing can stop me...
6
00:01:01,340 --> 00:01:03,140
You've got your whole life
7
00:01:03,220 --> 00:01:04,380
- ahead of you.
- Yeah.
8
00:01:04,460 --> 00:01:06,660
- People you are still gonna meet.
- I know.
9
00:01:06,740 --> 00:01:09,140
Whole college experience
still in front of you.
10
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:16,060
- Mmm, you're right.
- Mmm.
11
00:01:16,140 --> 00:01:18,420
You promise
you're gonna write and call me?
12
00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:20,740
Hogan! Man, what the hell
are you doing?
13
00:01:20,820 --> 00:01:22,980
They're already on the Ds.
14
00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:26,300
- Mm-hmm. Shit.
- Mmm.
15
00:01:26,340 --> 00:01:28,100
Hello, Professor Goodbey.
16
00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:29,900
Come on.
17
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:32,620
We gotta go.
18
00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:34,700
Gladys, I'm never
gonna forget you.
19
00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:37,700
- You're so hot.
- No no no.
20
00:01:37,780 --> 00:01:39,100
All right. Sorry.
21
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:40,540
- I love you.
- I love you, Gladys.
22
00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:42,940
Rebecca Gephardt.
23
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:48,420
Indigo Goldstein.
24
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,780
Thank you very much, sir.
25
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:53,660
Liberate me...
26
00:01:53,740 --> 00:01:55,780
Dag Griffiths.
27
00:01:55,860 --> 00:01:57,660
Well done.
28
00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:59,660
- Hi!
- Hey.
29
00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:02,620
- Oh, lip gloss.
- Chris Grizma, magna cum laude.
30
00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:04,220
Hey, where were you?
31
00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:06,460
We were supposed
to take pictures before the ceremony!
32
00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:09,580
- Moffy Gurner.
- I know. Uh... um...
33
00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:12,260
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
34
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:14,220
- Cindy Guilley.
- Here.
35
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,860
Open it and put it on.
36
00:02:15,940 --> 00:02:19,140
Oh my God.
That is so sweet, Spence.
37
00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:21,900
- Rebecca Hartowicz.
- Oh.
38
00:02:21,980 --> 00:02:23,420
- Oh...
- Hello, Rebecca.
39
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,660
Let me see it.
40
00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:28,540
- Oh...
- That's nice.
41
00:02:28,620 --> 00:02:30,340
Fuck off, Hogan!
42
00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:33,700
- Marshall Hogan lll.
- That is my name. I must go.
43
00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:35,700
Shit, I think I caught my dress.
Did I rip something?
44
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:37,740
Oh.
45
00:02:37,820 --> 00:02:40,060
You're such an ingrate, Hogan!
46
00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:42,380
Spencey, please meet me
in the quad
47
00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:44,980
after the ceremony
for pictures with my family, okay?
48
00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:47,860
This is the photo that will define us
for the rest of our lives--
49
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,980
where we met and fell in love.
50
00:02:53,060 --> 00:02:56,140
Spencer Holmes,
with honors.
51
00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:58,700
Okay, I'll see you there.
I love you.
52
00:03:04,180 --> 00:03:06,060
Mmm...
53
00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:13,100
Congratulations.
54
00:03:14,980 --> 00:03:17,820
Ladies and gentlemen,
meet our business class graduates.
55
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:31,420
It's just not the same
as standing in the quad
56
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,660
- in our cap and gown.
- Oh, I'm sorry,
57
00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:35,700
- but I had to take Hogan home.
- Mmm.
58
00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:38,020
You know he has a problem
dumping in public bathrooms.
59
00:03:40,580 --> 00:03:43,140
We have a photo in front
of my childhood tree house
60
00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:45,820
I built when I was nine.
Isn't that good enough?
61
00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:50,260
It's just not the same.
62
00:03:50,340 --> 00:03:52,900
- Let's go get a drink.
- Okay.
63
00:03:57,140 --> 00:03:59,740
Hey, can I get a beer
64
00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:01,900
and a shot of tequila and a--
65
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:04,140
a thumb in the ass
for my girlfriend?
66
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:10,180
Look, all our problems revolve
67
00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:13,020
around your geriatric-loving
loser creep of a friend.
68
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:14,900
And as soon as you outgrow him,
the sooner you'll be
69
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:18,620
- to reaching your potential.
- Just enough with Hogan, please.
70
00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,860
No. No, Spencey.
If you spend the rest of your life
71
00:04:20,940 --> 00:04:22,860
associating yourself
with that vermin,
72
00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:24,700
you will become
that vermin.
73
00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:26,740
Spencey-- hey, I love you,
74
00:04:26,820 --> 00:04:28,700
I just want
what's best for you.
75
00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:30,620
- I love you too. You know--
- Mmm...
76
00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:36,740
Oh my God.
I'll be right back.
77
00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:38,780
Just so you know,
he will not be in our wedding.
78
00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:47,700
What is that young man
doing out there with Edith?
79
00:04:47,780 --> 00:04:49,540
I never saw anybody dance like that.
80
00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:52,580
Hey, are you sure they're dancing?
81
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:55,220
If they're not,
he owes me some fucking money!
82
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:59,460
- Hogan, what the hell are you doing?
- Spence!
83
00:04:59,540 --> 00:05:02,220
- I'd like you to meet Edith Birnbaum.
- Spence!
84
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:06,460
Hello. Marshall here says
I'm the hottest chick at the party.
85
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:08,700
- What do you think?
- Yeah.
86
00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:10,460
- Whoo!
- Hogan, I'm sorry.
87
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,380
- I gotta borrow him for one minute.
- Ooh.
88
00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:15,020
- One second, we'll be right back.
- What?
89
00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:16,860
Do you really think
it's wise to get all grindy
90
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,620
with our future boss's wife?
91
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:21,460
Dude, she is so fucking fine
and you know it!
92
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,260
Look at that little tush.
Look at her tushy.
93
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:26,620
- I don't understand you.
- Hey, how's the graduation boy doing?
94
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,540
Hey, all right.
95
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,140
Hey, thanks-- thanks
for the party, Dad.
96
00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:32,220
Yeah, my pleasure, son.
My pleasure.
97
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:33,980
Yeah, Dad, thank you.
You really outdid yourself.
98
00:05:35,340 --> 00:05:37,580
Just remember to mention
Stan Birnbaum in your speech today.
99
00:05:37,660 --> 00:05:39,460
The guy never leaves
his frigging hospital.
100
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,860
He came out for your graduation
because he believes in you, son.
101
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:43,300
We'll get you at Yale Law in no time.
102
00:05:43,380 --> 00:05:45,300
Stan, it's my boy right here!
Here he is!
103
00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:49,140
Stan. Nobody is more connected
to Yale Law than Stan Birnbaum.
104
00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:51,620
Thank you for putting in a good word
for me, by the way.
105
00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:53,740
Mrs. Holmes is responsible
for that, Marshall.
106
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,900
Maybe you should talk to her.
107
00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,020
Don't forget, Spence.
108
00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:03,900
Guess I lost that bet
we had two years ago.
109
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:07,100
- What-- what bet?
- I bet you wouldn't graduate.
110
00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:09,220
Oh, yeah? Oh.
111
00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:11,340
- Okay.
- Now I have to show you my tits.
112
00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:14,780
- Really? That's so great!
- Mm-hmm.
113
00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:16,540
- Excuse me.
- Do you wanna touch them?
114
00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:19,060
Yes. Oh!
115
00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:21,500
Hi, sweet-- oh, hello.
Who's this pretty thing?
116
00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:22,820
Casey Dixon.
117
00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:25,460
Oh, aren't you just
the most charming girl?
118
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,660
It's nice to see you two
getting along so well.
119
00:06:27,740 --> 00:06:29,580
Spencey, cake in 10 minutes.
120
00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:33,100
Thanks, Mom.
Ahem, excuse me.
121
00:06:35,260 --> 00:06:37,820
- Where's Hogan?
- Uh...
122
00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:41,020
I don't know.
123
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:43,700
Thank you all for being here today.
124
00:06:43,740 --> 00:06:46,500
First, I'd like to take
this opportunity
125
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:50,220
to thank my parents for all
the love and support they've given me.
126
00:06:50,300 --> 00:06:53,980
I couldn't be more blessed.
127
00:06:54,020 --> 00:06:56,620
I would also like to thank
my girlfriend Amanda
128
00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,980
- for all the lov--
- Oh. Whoo-hoo!
129
00:06:59,060 --> 00:07:02,620
I'll begin work next week
130
00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:05,660
at Birnbaum, Arthur,
Hollace, Craft & Steel.
131
00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:07,940
Uh, that's Birnbaum, Hollace,
132
00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:10,260
Arthur, Craft & Steel.
133
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:12,420
I'm sorry.
I should probably learn that.
134
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:15,900
In any case, I am very grateful
to you, Mr. Birnbaum,
135
00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:18,780
and I look forward to working
for you and learning a great deal.
136
00:07:18,820 --> 00:07:21,380
What can I say?
137
00:07:21,460 --> 00:07:24,380
I'm a very lucky man.
138
00:07:31,980 --> 00:07:34,660
Eww.
139
00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:37,660
- Oh my God.
- Busted.
140
00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:40,260
Uh...
141
00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:42,620
Sorry.
142
00:07:55,380 --> 00:07:57,900
- Well...
- You okay?
143
00:07:57,980 --> 00:08:01,180
...I don't think I ever actually begged
a man before today.
144
00:08:01,260 --> 00:08:03,060
Well, what did Mr. Birnbaum say?
145
00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:07,580
I'm sorry, Spence, but, uh...
146
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:10,660
he will no longer require
your services at his firm.
147
00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:16,220
What about me?
Would he require my services?
148
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,500
Dad! Dad.
149
00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:37,380
You know what, Dad?
It's okay, I got accepted into Baker.
150
00:08:37,460 --> 00:08:38,860
- Maybe I should--
- Nonsense!
151
00:08:38,940 --> 00:08:40,340
No one's heard of Baker!
152
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,780
We are gonna solve this one.
153
00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:45,020
- Mm-hmm.
- There's a man at the club.
154
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,860
- Oh.
- Barry Stack is his name.
155
00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:49,660
- He's an 18-holer, fine man.
- Uh-huh. Oh... Oh!
156
00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:52,180
A Yalie and he's head
of the biggest divorce firm in LA.
157
00:08:52,260 --> 00:08:54,700
- See?
- Not as connected as Birnbaum,
158
00:08:54,780 --> 00:08:57,420
but that's okay.
I'll make a call on your behalf.
159
00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:59,900
- Thanks, Dad.
- Yeah.
160
00:08:59,980 --> 00:09:02,700
What about Marshall?
161
00:09:02,780 --> 00:09:05,820
Well, he's practically family, Fred.
162
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,980
And I'm sure he's very sorry
for what happened, aren't you, dear?
163
00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:11,500
Yes, I am. I really--
I truly am, ma'am-- Mom.
164
00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:14,820
Come on, Dad.
Give him another chance.
165
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:19,100
- Fine.
- Yes.
166
00:09:19,180 --> 00:09:22,020
- Oh.
- Fine fine fine. If he screws this up,
167
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:23,500
- he's our punter this month.
- No problem.
168
00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:27,860
And for you, son, I would be
disappointed beyond repair.
169
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,740
- Dad.
- Oh!
170
00:09:31,820 --> 00:09:33,820
Excuse me.
171
00:09:34,860 --> 00:09:36,900
- Yes, sir.
- Oh...
172
00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:50,500
I'll try Mr. Stack again, all right?
173
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,660
Oh, nice.
174
00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:57,020
Oh... nice.
175
00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:58,660
Beautiful.
176
00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:00,060
Good. Good good good.
177
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,300
Mr. Stack, your interview is here.
178
00:10:02,380 --> 00:10:04,100
I'm coming.
179
00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:09,020
- He'll be right out.
- Thank you.
180
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,540
Thanks.
181
00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:13,540
You look so...
refreshing today.
182
00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:15,820
And the flower
is a very sweet touch.
183
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:17,140
You look lovely.
184
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:20,380
Stop.
185
00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,460
Oh!
186
00:10:31,260 --> 00:10:34,220
You're so fucking good-looking.
187
00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:39,580
Ahh.
188
00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:51,780
- What was that?
- I don't know.
189
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,580
Why the hell are you two
just sitting there?
190
00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,900
Us?
191
00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:12,300
- Did you pass the bar yet?
- Haven't been to law school yet, sir.
192
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,540
"Oh, we haven't been
to law school yet, sir."
193
00:11:14,620 --> 00:11:17,380
So you're just
a couple of shit turds.
194
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:19,740
- Excuse me?
- Yes, sir, we are.
195
00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:22,780
- Do you shit turds wanna work here?
- Yes, sir.
196
00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:25,500
Well, then, why am l...
197
00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:28,980
Iooking for my ball
and you're just sitting in there?!
198
00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:33,660
And you!
199
00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:37,220
Those plants--
they need dusting.
200
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:40,340
- Plants?
- Uh, dusting?
201
00:11:40,380 --> 00:11:42,780
Good. Good good good.
202
00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:45,700
You're hired, you're hired,
you're all fucking hired!
203
00:11:45,780 --> 00:11:47,900
He forgets sometimes
204
00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:50,260
he hired me over 15 years ago.
205
00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:52,060
Oh.
206
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:55,380
- Is that Mr. Stack?
- Oh, no. That was Mr. Archibald.
207
00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:58,780
But don't worry, he has hiring
and firing privileges too.
208
00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:01,460
I'll show you where we keep
the plant maintenance kit.
209
00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:05,340
Don't they have plant maintenance
people for stuff like that?
210
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,660
Oops. They only come
once a week.
211
00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:10,060
Mr. Archibald
likes it done twice.
212
00:12:10,140 --> 00:12:13,140
It's okay.
Once you make partner
213
00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:15,100
you won't have to do it anymore.
214
00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:18,900
Good morning, Angelenos.
215
00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:20,220
It's gonna be a hot,
216
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:22,420
muggy one out there today,
busting up to the century mark.
217
00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:25,860
And on to the news.
The stock market is up 12 points
218
00:12:25,940 --> 00:12:29,660
and, in sports, the LA Cougars
won the WABA Championship
219
00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:31,580
by 16 points.
220
00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:34,620
And in entertainment news,
it says here a '60s sex symbol...
221
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:37,940
Spence, would you get that?
222
00:12:37,980 --> 00:12:39,860
...on Pacific Coast Highway.
That's right, that's what it says.
223
00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:46,620
You bar-flunking freak!
224
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,940
Where in the hell
did you get these numbers?
225
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:50,900
I don't know.
226
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,300
It's that Karl guy.
227
00:12:54,380 --> 00:12:56,220
You know what I heard?
228
00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:59,100
The poor bastard fucks
the file cabinets to blow off steam.
229
00:12:59,180 --> 00:13:01,660
You butt-licker!
230
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:05,820
What part of your maggot-rotten brain
shit out these numbers?
231
00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:08,500
- Well, obviously, I made a mistake.
- Well, obviously.
232
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:12,460
And now Sarah Tucker's alimony
is on the line!
233
00:13:12,540 --> 00:13:14,700
Better fix it--
best piece of ass I've ever had.
234
00:13:14,780 --> 00:13:17,660
Did you hear that?
235
00:13:17,740 --> 00:13:19,940
The best piece of ass
he's ever had.
236
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:21,980
Who brought you in here, anyway?
237
00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:25,340
Well, my Uncle William is
a good friend of Mr. Conrad.
238
00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:28,900
Well, that's not gonna save you
when you flunk the bar next month,
239
00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:31,900
because next month
you're gonna be good and fired.
240
00:13:31,980 --> 00:13:34,740
- I hope not.
- Good and fired!
241
00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:39,660
Karl, do you need to use the bathroom
or did you already shit in your pants?
242
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:42,780
I might have
dripped a little, but, umm--
243
00:13:42,820 --> 00:13:46,500
It wasn't a real question,
you taint-licking hemorrhoid.
244
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:51,100
These guys are fuckers.
245
00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:56,260
I gotta go get the file boxes.
246
00:13:58,220 --> 00:14:00,100
Loosen up, would you?
247
00:14:24,580 --> 00:14:27,100
Hi.
248
00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:32,260
- Are you gay?
- What?
249
00:14:32,340 --> 00:14:34,260
No.
250
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,820
No...
251
00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:38,780
Whoa, big fella. Down.
252
00:14:38,820 --> 00:14:40,300
It's not polite to point
in the office.
253
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,500
Gonna plant that mushroom?
254
00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:46,420
A little young for me, but--
oh, for you...
255
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:51,580
I have-- I have to get
the file boxes.
256
00:14:51,660 --> 00:14:53,700
- Okay.
- Okay. Take care of some business
257
00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:55,500
- while you're in there.
- Okay.
258
00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:57,340
I'm gonna push out
a little turtle head.
259
00:14:57,420 --> 00:14:59,060
- I'll meet you back in there.
- All right.
260
00:14:59,140 --> 00:15:02,300
Hey hey hey!
You two-- shit-turd guys--
261
00:15:02,340 --> 00:15:06,140
get in here and get
the jelly out of my toes.
262
00:15:06,180 --> 00:15:09,020
- Uh...
- Mmm, mmm.
263
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:11,700
I want you to really get in there--
under the nail.
264
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,620
And give us a nice trim
while you're down there.
265
00:15:18,380 --> 00:15:19,740
What's going on with Doreen Wyes?
266
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:23,020
- I gave you that lead a week ago.
- I'm on it, I'm sending an employee
267
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:25,020
over to Formosa
Wednesday at 6:00,
268
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:27,580
'cause that's where her husband
meets his girlfriend.
269
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,900
Took you a fucking week
to figure that out?!
270
00:15:29,980 --> 00:15:32,500
There was some confusion
about which restaurant.
271
00:15:32,580 --> 00:15:35,380
Whatever.
Send someone fucking good this time.
272
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:41,340
- Ouch!
- Sorry. Sorry.
273
00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:44,780
I-- I didn't know this was
part of your body.
274
00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:51,260
Oh, that's good, that's good.
That's good, that's good.
275
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:54,460
Oh...
276
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,900
Uh, anything else, sir?
277
00:15:56,980 --> 00:15:59,100
Yeah yeah, there is.
278
00:15:59,180 --> 00:16:02,380
I got to this little piece
of dried-up shit turd
279
00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:05,180
that needs to be pulled
out of my ass.
280
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:08,020
Come on.
281
00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:10,660
I'm kidding you!
282
00:16:13,020 --> 00:16:15,660
Get out.
283
00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:22,900
Dude, these lawyers...
284
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:24,860
are a bunch of sweaty jackals,
285
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,500
feeding off
of the weak and sick
286
00:16:27,580 --> 00:16:29,460
and injured little gazelles and shit.
287
00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:32,460
I mean, do you really want
one of these... scavengers
288
00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:35,260
- referring you to Yale?
- Right now,
289
00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:37,340
it's the best contact I have,
290
00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:41,180
but there's no reason
you should stay here.
291
00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:43,180
Where the hell am I gonna go?
292
00:16:43,260 --> 00:16:45,660
Go wherever you want.
293
00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:49,980
Spence, now you know
I can't stand
294
00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:52,700
anyone that isn't
a hot older woman or you.
295
00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:55,180
So wherever you go, I follow.
296
00:16:55,260 --> 00:16:57,300
This may sound
a little weak, lame,
297
00:16:57,380 --> 00:16:59,660
- even a little gay to some people...
- Yeah.
298
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:02,020
...but fuck it.
I know what I like.
299
00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:05,700
- Hogan.
- All right.
300
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:09,300
Let's get you in Yale.
301
00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:11,900
Karl!
302
00:17:11,980 --> 00:17:13,900
Out of my office, butt-licker!
303
00:17:18,060 --> 00:17:20,420
Hey, shit turd!
304
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:23,580
Grab your shit-turd friend
and get in here.
305
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:29,540
Hogan!
306
00:17:40,980 --> 00:17:42,460
Hey!
307
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:52,700
Silver BMW 535--
it's in the parking lot
308
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,940
in the golf club in Bel Air.
Here's the license plate.
309
00:17:56,020 --> 00:17:58,380
Find it and slash the tires.
310
00:17:58,460 --> 00:18:00,700
Go. Now.
311
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,580
Isn't that illegal?
312
00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:07,540
Okay. No, I know
that it's illegal,
313
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:10,780
but why would you want us
to do something illegal?
314
00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:13,020
My guess would be
315
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,500
that the driver has
an afternoon court appearance
316
00:18:15,580 --> 00:18:17,460
that if he were to miss
317
00:18:17,540 --> 00:18:20,060
would cause him to severely fall
out of favor with the judge,
318
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:23,300
considering that
it's probably over custody
319
00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:26,180
or some sticky issue like that.
The judge will look more favorably
320
00:18:26,260 --> 00:18:30,860
on the party that is actually in
the courtroom standing in front of him.
321
00:18:30,940 --> 00:18:33,380
Very good, shit-turd's friend.
322
00:18:35,260 --> 00:18:38,100
Now, when you're done with that,
you deliver these papers to my wife.
323
00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:40,660
She's at some bake sale
with her girlfriends.
324
00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:43,340
The address is on the envelope.
Tell her she can have her divorce
325
00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:45,700
as long as she understands
that she's now...
326
00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:48,100
totally fucked.
Tell her that--
327
00:18:48,180 --> 00:18:50,580
- verbatim.
- Yes, sir.
328
00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:52,740
You're still here. Why?
329
00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:09,980
Dude, these guys make
so much fucking bank here.
330
00:19:10,060 --> 00:19:11,460
- Wow.
- I'm quitting my job.
331
00:19:11,540 --> 00:19:13,420
Hey, assholes.
332
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,820
I've been rotting here
for five minutes.
333
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:20,340
I don't wanna put you out or anything,
but do you mind fetching my car?!
334
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:23,300
"Studman." Studman!
335
00:19:23,380 --> 00:19:25,220
Of course, we help you.
336
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:28,180
- I run for studs.
- What do we do?
337
00:19:28,260 --> 00:19:30,460
I don't know.
A couple of things feel good to me.
338
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,380
Okay, I go fast
for you now.
339
00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:34,500
A couple jerk-off
valet parkers.
340
00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:36,460
So listen, I changed
at the country club
341
00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:38,580
and I'll be in court
within the hour.
342
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,620
What the fuck
are you looking at?
343
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:42,300
Que?
344
00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:45,060
Just some valet puke
giving me the stinkeye.
345
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,700
Guy's a moron.
346
00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:49,620
So listen, wrap up the Chicago deal,
let's get to Vegas.
347
00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:52,620
Yeah, I've got the four tee times
and strippers lined up.
348
00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:55,340
No, I'm not bringing my wife.
What are you talking about?
349
00:19:55,420 --> 00:19:57,300
She starting to take me
to the cleaners in this divorce.
350
00:19:57,380 --> 00:19:59,420
No, I'm thinking of taking
that cute little court reporter
351
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:01,420
from the Stony case.
She was pretty good orally,
352
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,140
but I tell you...
353
00:20:03,220 --> 00:20:05,660
...she had a snatch the size
of the Lincoln Tunnel.
354
00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:08,380
It's like fucking
a warm bucket of water.
355
00:20:08,460 --> 00:20:10,420
No, but I'll give you five...
356
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,940
Wha-- what the fuck?
357
00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:17,060
It's a little sticky
358
00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:19,020
coming out of second,
but other than that--
359
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:20,580
I'm gonna kick your face in!
360
00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:22,780
Hogan, holy shit, man!
Come on, let's go!
361
00:20:22,860 --> 00:20:24,700
- Come on, go go go go go!
- Ah!
362
00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:26,860
You son of a bitch!
363
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:30,540
That was crazy, Hogan.
364
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:33,340
I think maybe you took
that one a little too far, huh?
365
00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:35,860
What? You have job, you do it right.
366
00:20:35,940 --> 00:20:37,340
- Okay.
- Huh?
367
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:38,980
This is it.
368
00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:40,780
Whoa.
369
00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:42,940
Gotta work on
your accent, by the way.
370
00:20:43,020 --> 00:20:44,860
- Really?
- It was terrible.
371
00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:47,180
I told you to prepare, you're not--
you're not getting prepared.
372
00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:49,620
- Weird, I thought I was pretty good.
- You almost blew it.
373
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:51,220
Hmm.
374
00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:57,220
Come in.
375
00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:07,620
I'm sure you will enjoy these.
376
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,860
They come
in all different kinds.
377
00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:11,980
They're like Easter eggs.
378
00:21:12,060 --> 00:21:14,700
And it will go
with anything you're wearing...
379
00:21:14,780 --> 00:21:17,500
or not wearing.
380
00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:20,860
This one, my little darlings,
is called "The Fire Alarm."
381
00:21:20,940 --> 00:21:24,220
And trust me,
where your orgasms are concerned--
382
00:21:24,260 --> 00:21:27,180
all of you--
this one is the four-alarm fire
383
00:21:27,260 --> 00:21:29,220
that you have
been begging for.
384
00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:31,900
Look at it. Isn't it cute?
385
00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:34,580
Feliney metropolitanis.
386
00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:35,740
What?
387
00:21:35,820 --> 00:21:37,940
Cougars.
Everywhere.
388
00:21:38,020 --> 00:21:40,860
Oh my God,
look at the variety.
389
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:44,700
Oh my, that's a Rolls-Royce,
very hard to nab.
390
00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:46,180
...spankings!
391
00:21:46,260 --> 00:21:48,540
There's some Cadillacs,
a little bit easier.
392
00:21:48,620 --> 00:21:50,180
Oh my God, a Trans Am.
393
00:21:50,260 --> 00:21:53,340
Not exactly my flavor,
but definitely has appeal.
394
00:21:53,420 --> 00:21:55,780
Oh my God.
My personal favorite,
395
00:21:55,860 --> 00:21:59,620
a Silver Fox. Oh, so many
possibilities in one sitting.
396
00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:00,780
Down.
397
00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:03,260
Thank you very much.
398
00:22:03,340 --> 00:22:05,660
We'll have some refreshments.
399
00:22:08,940 --> 00:22:11,820
This is a private party,
400
00:22:11,900 --> 00:22:15,380
but what can I do
for you two hunky hunks?
401
00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:19,580
We are Spence Holmes
and Marshall Hogan lll,
402
00:22:19,660 --> 00:22:23,220
and we're looking
for a Daniela Stack.
403
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:25,540
And what is this regarding?
404
00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:28,380
Well, we work
for her husband and...
405
00:22:28,420 --> 00:22:31,260
he wanted us to...
406
00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:32,860
give her this.
407
00:22:32,940 --> 00:22:36,020
Oh. Oh, then you work
for my husband too.
408
00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:37,660
I'm Teddy Archibald.
409
00:22:37,740 --> 00:22:41,020
- No way.
- No way.
410
00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:43,020
So...
411
00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:45,940
what exactly goes on
at this sort of party?
412
00:22:46,020 --> 00:22:48,700
Well, we're just looking to spice up
our libidos a little bit.
413
00:22:48,780 --> 00:22:50,940
Aha. Yeah, I see. I see.
414
00:22:51,020 --> 00:22:54,300
Marshall!
What a pleasant surprise!
415
00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:55,820
Oh, hey.
416
00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:57,180
Oh.
417
00:22:57,260 --> 00:23:00,780
Ladies, meet Marshall Hogan lll.
418
00:23:00,860 --> 00:23:03,660
Our spectacular afternoon together
419
00:23:03,740 --> 00:23:06,020
became my inspiration
420
00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:08,540
for finding Lulu here
421
00:23:08,620 --> 00:23:10,860
and her "Art of Pleasure" schooling.
422
00:23:10,940 --> 00:23:12,900
Praise the clitoris, Edith.
423
00:23:12,980 --> 00:23:14,500
Yes!
424
00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:17,980
I came alive under
Mr. Hogan's tutelage,
425
00:23:18,060 --> 00:23:19,820
and my life's mission
426
00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:22,340
is to help you experience
427
00:23:22,420 --> 00:23:24,220
an awakening such as mine.
428
00:23:24,300 --> 00:23:27,620
Aside from handling me so expertly,
429
00:23:27,700 --> 00:23:30,940
he suggested I switch
to the Vivelle Dot
430
00:23:31,020 --> 00:23:33,180
hormone replacement therapy.
431
00:23:33,260 --> 00:23:34,940
And I must say
432
00:23:35,020 --> 00:23:37,940
it's worked wonders.
433
00:23:38,020 --> 00:23:39,900
Wonders!
434
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,460
Whoo!
435
00:23:43,540 --> 00:23:46,180
Marshall.
436
00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:49,580
Perhaps you and your friend
437
00:23:49,660 --> 00:23:52,180
can help us out?
438
00:23:53,420 --> 00:23:55,420
Oh, anything.
439
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:57,940
Well, maybe...
440
00:23:58,020 --> 00:24:00,980
you could gather a group
of your friends
441
00:24:01,060 --> 00:24:03,660
who enjoy doing
what you enjoy doing,
442
00:24:03,740 --> 00:24:07,580
and we could connect them
443
00:24:07,660 --> 00:24:09,740
with my friends
444
00:24:09,820 --> 00:24:12,980
who enjoy doing
what I enjoy doing.
445
00:24:21,940 --> 00:24:24,260
Sounds like the cougars
need their prey.
446
00:24:24,340 --> 00:24:25,940
Ooh, well said.
447
00:24:26,020 --> 00:24:27,780
We'll be in touch.
448
00:24:27,860 --> 00:24:29,900
Now, ladies,
449
00:24:29,980 --> 00:24:32,100
Lulu will take
your orders here.
450
00:24:32,180 --> 00:24:34,460
Grab a clipboard.
451
00:24:36,180 --> 00:24:38,140
Cindy Conrad,
452
00:24:38,220 --> 00:24:40,460
Iet me formally introduce you
453
00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:42,620
To Spence Holmes
and Marshall Hogan.
454
00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:44,660
They work for the firm.
455
00:24:44,740 --> 00:24:47,580
Ah. So you know that
ass-waxing prick that I'm married to.
456
00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:51,060
Have you seen Daniela around?
457
00:24:51,140 --> 00:24:53,340
They have something for her.
458
00:24:53,420 --> 00:24:55,820
Oh yeah, I dragged her here.
She's inside somewhere.
459
00:24:55,900 --> 00:24:58,620
Mmm, happy birthday to me.
460
00:24:58,660 --> 00:25:02,940
If you want,
I could give the papers to Daniela.
461
00:25:03,020 --> 00:25:05,780
That's okay, Teddy.
I'll take them.
462
00:25:19,060 --> 00:25:20,460
Oops.
463
00:25:23,860 --> 00:25:26,220
I assume he finally signed
my divorce papers?
464
00:25:26,300 --> 00:25:29,340
Yeah, um...
465
00:25:29,420 --> 00:25:31,980
and he-- he also said--
466
00:25:32,060 --> 00:25:34,260
he said he wanted us to say...
467
00:25:35,660 --> 00:25:37,740
well, 'cause he wanted to--
468
00:25:37,820 --> 00:25:39,420
Hello, Marshall Hogan lll.
469
00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:41,940
It's nice to see you again.
And may I say
470
00:25:42,020 --> 00:25:44,580
you deserve a future
of lasting happiness and peace?
471
00:25:44,660 --> 00:25:46,540
And may I also say
you've probably never
472
00:25:46,620 --> 00:25:48,380
Iooked or felt better in your life,
473
00:25:48,460 --> 00:25:49,700
am I right?
474
00:25:49,780 --> 00:25:52,300
Daniela Stack,
475
00:25:52,380 --> 00:25:55,020
this is my best friend,
Spencer Holmes.
476
00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:56,940
Hi.
477
00:25:57,020 --> 00:25:59,180
Daniela Darren now.
478
00:25:59,260 --> 00:26:00,620
Nice to meet you.
479
00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:03,140
Hi.
480
00:26:03,220 --> 00:26:06,260
Our job is done here,
481
00:26:06,340 --> 00:26:10,700
and we hope
to see you again.
482
00:26:10,780 --> 00:26:13,260
I hope so.
483
00:26:13,340 --> 00:26:15,140
Hi.
484
00:26:16,660 --> 00:26:18,540
Stop saying hi.
485
00:26:19,980 --> 00:26:21,820
- Hi.
- You're dehydrated.
486
00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:23,780
Bye.
487
00:26:26,780 --> 00:26:28,300
Hi.
488
00:26:37,580 --> 00:26:37,740
I mean,
489
00:26:39,340 --> 00:26:42,260
she just looked
right at me and said,
490
00:26:42,340 --> 00:26:44,740
"l hope so."
491
00:26:44,820 --> 00:26:47,740
Oh my God.
What am I gonna do?
492
00:26:47,820 --> 00:26:49,260
You know what you're gonna do?
493
00:26:49,340 --> 00:26:51,180
Whatever the fuck you want.
494
00:26:51,260 --> 00:26:53,300
Now, you want to be with this woman,
be with this woman.
495
00:26:53,380 --> 00:26:55,620
Be with her and Amanda, who cares?
Be with all of 'em.
496
00:26:55,700 --> 00:26:57,780
Yeah, Stack too.
Fuck him...
497
00:26:57,860 --> 00:26:59,740
good and hard,
right up the ass.
498
00:26:59,820 --> 00:27:01,220
Just fuckin' do what you want.
499
00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:03,140
- I tell you what else you're gonna do.
- What?
500
00:27:03,220 --> 00:27:04,700
This Edith thing.
501
00:27:04,780 --> 00:27:07,340
Dude, right now my whole life
revolves around Yale Law.
502
00:27:07,420 --> 00:27:09,220
I know,
and you're going to Yale Law.
503
00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:10,820
Okay, I have no doubt
about that.
504
00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:13,540
But that's, like, the future.
I'm talking now,
505
00:27:13,620 --> 00:27:16,300
- and you're doing this Edith thing.
- What are you talking about?
506
00:27:16,380 --> 00:27:17,820
Edith!
507
00:27:17,900 --> 00:27:19,620
Edith and the cougars!
508
00:27:19,700 --> 00:27:21,500
What?
509
00:27:21,540 --> 00:27:25,380
Wait, you want us to charge them
to have sex with us?
510
00:27:25,460 --> 00:27:27,060
No.
511
00:27:27,140 --> 00:27:28,860
No.
512
00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:33,420
We charge our friends
to have sex with them.
513
00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:34,900
- All right.
- You see?
514
00:27:34,980 --> 00:27:37,180
Now listen.
We start a little country club, okay?
515
00:27:37,260 --> 00:27:39,420
A "Cougar Club," if you will, right?
516
00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:42,100
And we charge membership fees
and shit like that.
517
00:27:42,180 --> 00:27:44,260
- Is that legal?
- Fuck it-- yes!
518
00:27:44,340 --> 00:27:46,820
I don't know.
Who cares?
519
00:27:46,900 --> 00:27:49,020
I care! I have to.
520
00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:52,100
I, uh, no.
521
00:27:52,180 --> 00:27:53,980
- No no no no no, I can't do it.
- Oh...
522
00:27:54,060 --> 00:27:56,700
- "Cougar Club."
- Oh come, Spence, would you stop
523
00:27:56,780 --> 00:27:58,780
saying no to everything?
524
00:27:58,860 --> 00:28:01,860
Do you not get bored of that?
Say "yes."
525
00:28:01,940 --> 00:28:04,820
Yes, 'cause it feels so good.
526
00:28:04,900 --> 00:28:08,580
Yes, because you've never
taken a risk in your life, my friend.
527
00:28:08,660 --> 00:28:10,860
Yes, because
Daniela Darren said,
528
00:28:10,940 --> 00:28:13,060
"l hope so"!
529
00:28:13,140 --> 00:28:15,580
Yes, because Edith Birnbaum
fucking demands it.
530
00:28:15,660 --> 00:28:17,980
"Supply us nice, horny cougars
531
00:28:18,060 --> 00:28:21,340
with nice, horny young prey."
532
00:28:21,420 --> 00:28:24,380
Aw, shit.
Why can't I ever say yes to you?
533
00:28:24,460 --> 00:28:29,020
Because sometimes Spencey
says "no" when he means "yes."
534
00:28:29,060 --> 00:28:31,260
Thank you, Mom.
535
00:28:31,340 --> 00:28:33,180
Thanks, Mom.
536
00:28:33,260 --> 00:28:35,380
Okay, well... night.
537
00:28:35,460 --> 00:28:37,380
- Good night.
- Good night.
538
00:28:37,460 --> 00:28:39,900
Mmm!
539
00:28:43,060 --> 00:28:45,660
"Because sometimes Spencey
says 'no' when he means 'yes."'
540
00:28:45,740 --> 00:28:48,860
- That was a fucking omen.
- Okay okay, shut up.
541
00:28:48,940 --> 00:28:51,940
For once in your life,
would you do something just for you?
542
00:28:52,020 --> 00:28:56,020
Say what you really want to say.
543
00:28:56,100 --> 00:28:59,020
How will it work?
544
00:29:00,060 --> 00:29:02,460
We'll target 100 guys to start.
545
00:29:02,540 --> 00:29:05,540
That first group will pay $500
for the first year to join,
546
00:29:05,620 --> 00:29:07,900
and any members
after that will pay $1,000.
547
00:29:07,940 --> 00:29:11,620
They'll have direct access
of all our cougar-sponsored events.
548
00:29:11,700 --> 00:29:15,620
Now that includes access to profiles,
phone numbers-- whole thing.
549
00:29:15,700 --> 00:29:18,020
And on the women's side,
Edith will be out in the wild
550
00:29:18,100 --> 00:29:22,180
gathering our hunters, marking them
with the gold Cougar Club necklace.
551
00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:25,220
All of our picks will
be those who strive to be with
552
00:29:25,300 --> 00:29:28,100
and who embrace
the older woman, or the cougar.
553
00:29:28,180 --> 00:29:32,380
And finally, we'll save room
for our one "must join."
554
00:29:32,420 --> 00:29:36,140
You tell me when, okay?
You tell me when!
555
00:29:36,220 --> 00:29:39,420
You-you tell me when.
556
00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:42,540
Want a whole dance, do ya?
557
00:29:42,620 --> 00:29:44,620
You want a whole d--
558
00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:47,300
ahh! You're looking right at me.
559
00:29:50,020 --> 00:29:52,500
Karl? Karl, Karl.
560
00:29:55,620 --> 00:29:57,820
How long has this disaster
been going on, man?
561
00:29:57,900 --> 00:30:00,220
- Too long.
- Mmm.
562
00:30:00,260 --> 00:30:02,500
We're concerned, Karl.
563
00:30:02,580 --> 00:30:05,460
Yeah. And we--
we understand your need here.
564
00:30:05,540 --> 00:30:08,780
We do, it's just maybe you
and your little plastic friend
565
00:30:08,860 --> 00:30:11,100
would like to bang
something other than the files?
566
00:30:11,140 --> 00:30:12,220
Like what?
567
00:30:12,300 --> 00:30:13,660
- Like a woman...
- Yeah.
568
00:30:13,740 --> 00:30:14,900
...for God's sakes.
569
00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:18,100
Yeah right.
570
00:30:18,180 --> 00:30:20,300
Not just any woman-- no.
571
00:30:20,380 --> 00:30:22,340
Larry Archibald's woman.
572
00:30:22,420 --> 00:30:25,820
- His mistress?
- No, dude, his wife.
573
00:30:25,900 --> 00:30:28,620
We're starting a cougar club
574
00:30:28,700 --> 00:30:30,500
for guys just like you,
575
00:30:30,580 --> 00:30:33,180
and we want you
to be a member.
576
00:30:33,260 --> 00:30:34,620
You do?
577
00:30:34,700 --> 00:30:36,340
Yeah.
578
00:30:36,420 --> 00:30:38,940
Now, it's 500 bucks to join,
579
00:30:39,020 --> 00:30:41,100
but it's well worth all the access
you're gonna have
580
00:30:41,180 --> 00:30:44,060
not only to Archibald's wife,
but all the other wives
581
00:30:44,140 --> 00:30:46,100
and the cougar friends
they're gonna bring with them.
582
00:30:46,180 --> 00:30:48,580
Yeah, but $500-- that's--
583
00:30:48,660 --> 00:30:51,620
I mean, God, l...
584
00:30:53,620 --> 00:30:55,780
Okay, you know what?
Yes, please.
585
00:30:55,860 --> 00:30:57,980
Yes, I'll-- yeah, all right.
586
00:30:58,060 --> 00:31:00,020
What's a cougar?
587
00:31:02,140 --> 00:31:04,020
- We'll explain later.
- Yeah.
588
00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:07,260
Clean yourself up.
We'll explain it to you.
589
00:31:07,340 --> 00:31:09,580
Here you go.
Congratulations.
590
00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:11,180
Thank you.
591
00:31:13,820 --> 00:31:15,620
Here you go.
592
00:31:17,540 --> 00:31:20,220
All right, man,
welcome to the club.
593
00:31:20,300 --> 00:31:22,740
- Oh thanks.
- Whoa, you're hot.
594
00:31:26,980 --> 00:31:29,100
All right,
welcome to the club.
595
00:31:29,180 --> 00:31:31,460
All right.
596
00:31:31,540 --> 00:31:35,540
Okay, welcome to Cougar Club.
597
00:31:37,460 --> 00:31:41,660
All right, now, all of your credit cards
will be swiped
598
00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:44,340
at every event to ensure
that all payments
599
00:31:44,420 --> 00:31:46,500
have been received.
If they're not,
600
00:31:46,580 --> 00:31:49,620
you will have the opportunity to make
these payments at the event.
601
00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:52,700
Now, for a little taste
602
00:31:52,780 --> 00:31:55,660
of what your new membership's
gonna bring you.
603
00:31:57,180 --> 00:31:59,220
Mmm!
604
00:32:01,700 --> 00:32:05,020
Yeah, this little sweetie's
name is lngrid Stone,
605
00:32:05,060 --> 00:32:07,300
Ferrari.
606
00:32:07,380 --> 00:32:09,500
She's a divorcée,
607
00:32:09,580 --> 00:32:12,380
working at one
of LA's finest financial firms,
608
00:32:12,460 --> 00:32:16,300
and she enjoys the headrush
she gets from a vertical 69.
609
00:32:20,340 --> 00:32:23,740
So, gentlemen,
610
00:32:23,820 --> 00:32:26,340
Iet the hunt begin.
611
00:32:35,260 --> 00:32:37,380
Dolly.
612
00:32:37,460 --> 00:32:40,220
Oh God, oh...
613
00:32:40,260 --> 00:32:44,060
- Sorry, Dolly.
- Don't fuckin' stop!
614
00:32:45,540 --> 00:32:48,940
Hey, shit turd,
meet me in my office.
615
00:32:49,020 --> 00:32:51,540
Shouldn't I clean
the bathrooms first?
616
00:32:51,620 --> 00:32:54,460
You heard me. Get in here!
617
00:32:54,540 --> 00:32:58,820
So why are you
working at this firm,
618
00:32:58,900 --> 00:33:00,740
shit turd?
619
00:33:00,820 --> 00:33:03,620
Can you please stop
calling me "shit turd"?
620
00:33:03,700 --> 00:33:05,860
Mmm.
621
00:33:05,940 --> 00:33:08,900
Why are you here...
622
00:33:08,980 --> 00:33:11,460
shit turd?
623
00:33:11,540 --> 00:33:16,020
I want real-world experience
before I attend law school.
624
00:33:16,100 --> 00:33:18,940
Well, most people go straight
to law school. Why didn't you?
625
00:33:18,980 --> 00:33:22,620
Well, I was accepted to Baker
and Anderson Lee--
626
00:33:22,700 --> 00:33:24,180
- Never heard of 'em.
- Right right.
627
00:33:24,260 --> 00:33:26,900
And what school
weren't you accepted to?
628
00:33:26,980 --> 00:33:29,260
Well, that would be Yale, sir.
629
00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:32,100
Now you see?
That one I've heard of.
630
00:33:32,180 --> 00:33:34,260
So when I asked you
why you were here,
631
00:33:34,340 --> 00:33:36,220
you didn't tell me
the truth, did you?
632
00:33:36,260 --> 00:33:37,660
Oh.
633
00:33:37,700 --> 00:33:39,940
The truth is you're here
634
00:33:40,020 --> 00:33:43,180
because you need me to give you
a recommendation letter
635
00:33:43,260 --> 00:33:45,780
to guarantee you
acceptance into Yale.
636
00:33:45,860 --> 00:33:48,580
You're here because you're
too stupid to get in on your own,
637
00:33:48,660 --> 00:33:52,260
and you need me
to help do it for you.
638
00:33:52,340 --> 00:33:55,860
Now it seems
your dear old dad
639
00:33:55,940 --> 00:33:59,740
is on his hands and knees
ready to blow
640
00:33:59,780 --> 00:34:02,620
to make sure his shit turd
of a son gets into Yale.
641
00:34:02,660 --> 00:34:07,340
Now what do you think
I should tell dear old Dad?
642
00:34:10,540 --> 00:34:12,380
I don't know.
643
00:34:12,460 --> 00:34:14,540
Well, I think you should tell him
644
00:34:14,620 --> 00:34:16,620
that you're my bitch.
645
00:34:16,700 --> 00:34:19,580
And maybe if you do
everything I tell you,
646
00:34:19,660 --> 00:34:23,620
your shit-turd ass might
wind up in Yale.
647
00:34:26,420 --> 00:34:30,140
Who authorized you
to change the locks to my house?
648
00:34:30,180 --> 00:34:32,660
You did.
Read the pre-nup, sugar.
649
00:34:32,740 --> 00:34:34,980
You know I still have
my things in there, don't you?
650
00:34:35,060 --> 00:34:37,140
Look, if you can't read the pre-nup,
651
00:34:37,220 --> 00:34:41,020
why don't you have your lawyer
or some hack read it for you?
652
00:34:41,060 --> 00:34:43,420
Or if you want to make it
easy on yourself,
653
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:46,300
just stay married to me.
654
00:34:46,380 --> 00:34:48,220
I'd rather be dead.
655
00:34:48,300 --> 00:34:50,940
And by the way,
656
00:34:51,020 --> 00:34:52,620
this box of lingerie...
657
00:34:54,620 --> 00:34:56,500
not mine,
658
00:34:56,580 --> 00:34:59,740
you son of a bitch.
659
00:35:07,660 --> 00:35:10,780
Don't you have
a toilet bowl to lick dry?
660
00:35:10,860 --> 00:35:13,140
Yeah. Yup.
661
00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:26,140
- Are you okay?
- Go. Go.
662
00:35:26,180 --> 00:35:27,740
Go go.
663
00:35:29,820 --> 00:35:31,540
What's-- what's going on?
664
00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:38,980
Hey. Hi.
665
00:35:40,220 --> 00:35:42,100
What you did
back there was...
666
00:35:42,180 --> 00:35:44,660
was good.
It was really good,
667
00:35:44,740 --> 00:35:48,180
and I just want you
to know that...
668
00:35:48,260 --> 00:35:50,260
if you need
a place to stay,
669
00:35:50,340 --> 00:35:53,500
you can stay at my house.
Let me give you my number.
670
00:35:53,580 --> 00:35:56,860
That's very sweet,
but I'm staying with a friend.
671
00:35:56,900 --> 00:35:59,100
Nice to see you again, Spence.
672
00:35:59,180 --> 00:36:01,660
Wait wait wait, um...
673
00:36:01,740 --> 00:36:05,500
Would it be totally inappropriate
to invite you to dinner?
674
00:36:05,580 --> 00:36:09,380
I just don't think
I'm ready to see anybody right now.
675
00:36:11,300 --> 00:36:13,260
Thanks for asking.
676
00:36:13,340 --> 00:36:15,180
It's nice to be asked.
677
00:36:25,380 --> 00:36:28,580
I just invited her
to stay at my parents' house.
678
00:36:30,060 --> 00:36:33,260
Wow.
What am I doing?
679
00:36:38,740 --> 00:36:40,140
Archibald just called me.
680
00:36:40,220 --> 00:36:42,380
He's screaming
for a foot scrub.
681
00:36:42,460 --> 00:36:44,740
I told him you'd be right up.
682
00:36:48,220 --> 00:36:49,820
And stay away from the wives!
683
00:36:49,900 --> 00:36:52,420
Present, future, uh... past.
684
00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:54,180
Got it, dick hole?
685
00:36:57,540 --> 00:36:59,260
- Come on, Karl.
- Okay.
686
00:36:59,340 --> 00:37:00,380
- Let's go.
- All right.
687
00:37:00,460 --> 00:37:02,180
So good, they don't know shit
about Cougar Club.
688
00:37:02,260 --> 00:37:03,940
No, but we gotta be careful.
689
00:37:04,020 --> 00:37:05,940
Their antennas are up,
all of their antennas are up.
690
00:37:06,020 --> 00:37:07,900
- 'Night, boys.
- Good night, my little carnation.
691
00:37:07,980 --> 00:37:09,820
Oh!
692
00:37:09,860 --> 00:37:11,740
Hogan?
693
00:37:11,780 --> 00:37:13,180
Thank you, baby.
694
00:37:13,260 --> 00:37:14,980
Hey.
695
00:37:17,300 --> 00:37:19,660
Is Conrad's wife hot?
I don't remember.
696
00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:22,660
Yeah, but she's like 38.
697
00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:25,300
Oh. Little young for me.
I'll do her anyway,
698
00:37:25,380 --> 00:37:27,740
that way Karl here
can do Archibald's wife,
699
00:37:27,780 --> 00:37:29,700
I'll hit Conrad's,
you can hit Stack's.
700
00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:31,700
- Cool.
- I'm not hitting Stack's wife.
701
00:37:31,780 --> 00:37:33,660
I don't even know what
I'm doing with Stack's wife.
702
00:37:33,700 --> 00:37:35,220
You can do it.
703
00:37:35,300 --> 00:37:36,780
Oh shit.
704
00:37:39,620 --> 00:37:42,660
Hi. Did you lose my number?
705
00:37:42,740 --> 00:37:45,620
- No.
- Get in.
706
00:37:46,860 --> 00:37:50,020
There you go.
See you at home.
707
00:37:54,740 --> 00:37:56,180
- Hi.
- Hi.
708
00:37:56,260 --> 00:37:59,940
- Ah. This is a nice surprise.
- Mm-hmm.
709
00:38:00,940 --> 00:38:03,740
You are the boys,
I'm just a girl
710
00:38:03,820 --> 00:38:06,180
We're not the same,
we're from different worlds
711
00:38:06,620 --> 00:38:09,380
You think you're smart
but you're no fun
712
00:38:09,460 --> 00:38:14,180
How hard is it
to fall in love?
713
00:38:14,260 --> 00:38:16,100
Boys...
714
00:38:16,180 --> 00:38:18,460
So, why are you avoiding me?
715
00:38:18,540 --> 00:38:22,300
I'm-- I'm not. I just--
work has been really--
716
00:38:22,380 --> 00:38:25,420
If you have something important
to say to me, then just say it.
717
00:38:25,500 --> 00:38:27,580
Amanda, I don't.
718
00:38:27,660 --> 00:38:31,420
I just-- just wanna go in
and go to sleep.
719
00:38:31,460 --> 00:38:33,700
Fine, let's go in
and go to sleep.
720
00:38:33,780 --> 00:38:37,500
Can't sleep with you
at my parents' house.
721
00:38:37,540 --> 00:38:39,420
That's right.
722
00:38:39,460 --> 00:38:41,620
That's why I think
you should move in with me.
723
00:38:41,700 --> 00:38:42,900
Oh, Amanda.
724
00:38:42,980 --> 00:38:45,460
We are ready
for that next step, Spencey--
725
00:38:45,540 --> 00:38:48,580
our first apartment.
And I'm even willing to cover the rent,
726
00:38:48,660 --> 00:38:51,260
because I know you'll be
facing enormous law-school bills
727
00:38:51,340 --> 00:38:54,340
and I know my assistance to you
will be paid back to me tenfold
728
00:38:54,420 --> 00:38:56,780
once you're out of law school
and we're married!
729
00:38:56,860 --> 00:38:57,900
Wow, Amanda--
730
00:38:57,980 --> 00:39:00,260
It'll be like that movie,
"Pay It Forward," with Kevin Spacey.
731
00:39:00,340 --> 00:39:02,900
You'll be Helen Hunt,
I'll be Kevin Spacey.
732
00:39:02,980 --> 00:39:05,100
Okay, I didn't see that one.
Amanda, look, I think we--
733
00:39:05,180 --> 00:39:07,780
- Spencey, I love you.
- I love you too.
734
00:39:07,860 --> 00:39:09,300
It's just, I'm not--
735
00:39:09,380 --> 00:39:10,820
Shh shh shh shh.
736
00:39:10,900 --> 00:39:12,820
Just think about it.
737
00:39:12,900 --> 00:39:15,140
It's perfect. Okay?
738
00:39:15,220 --> 00:39:16,540
- Kiss.
- Okay.
739
00:39:16,620 --> 00:39:17,780
Lip gloss, though.
740
00:39:17,860 --> 00:39:19,620
All right.
741
00:39:35,780 --> 00:39:39,300
Four-leaf clover. Agh!
742
00:39:41,020 --> 00:39:42,420
Here we go.
743
00:39:43,900 --> 00:39:45,340
You boys sleep tight.
744
00:39:45,420 --> 00:39:47,340
- Thanks, Mom.
- Thanks, Mom.
745
00:39:47,420 --> 00:39:50,260
See, you think Amanda's gonna
do shit like this for you?
746
00:39:50,340 --> 00:39:51,900
What are you doing?
747
00:39:51,980 --> 00:39:53,980
What? This is avocado
and banana.
748
00:39:54,060 --> 00:39:55,660
You use this stuff,
you never go bald.
749
00:39:55,740 --> 00:39:56,860
- Really?
- Yup.
750
00:39:56,940 --> 00:39:58,860
- It's tingling.
- Is it supposed to?
751
00:39:58,940 --> 00:40:00,020
I don't know.
752
00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:03,060
So, what's the deal again
with Mrs. Birnbaum?
753
00:40:03,140 --> 00:40:05,580
Okay, now Edith's gonna get a 10 % fee
754
00:40:05,660 --> 00:40:08,380
for supplying us
with hundreds of hot cougars.
755
00:40:08,460 --> 00:40:10,420
- Totally worth it.
- All right.
756
00:40:10,500 --> 00:40:12,460
- Wow.
- Did you give her the divorcée files
757
00:40:12,540 --> 00:40:13,900
- from the office?
- Yes.
758
00:40:13,980 --> 00:40:16,220
And she's totally set up for success.
Now, all we need
759
00:40:16,260 --> 00:40:17,660
is one kick-ass party
760
00:40:17,740 --> 00:40:20,460
to get the word-of-mouth
we kind of need to expand here.
761
00:40:20,540 --> 00:40:22,900
And I want to go all the way
with this Cougar Club thing.
762
00:40:22,980 --> 00:40:26,660
I'm talking lnternet,
magazines, calendars.
763
00:40:26,740 --> 00:40:29,500
I want to go full-on,
nationwide organization.
764
00:40:29,540 --> 00:40:31,420
- It's burning! Burning now!
- Man, you should really
765
00:40:31,460 --> 00:40:32,700
- just wash that out.
- Yes!
766
00:40:32,780 --> 00:40:35,340
Hoo!
767
00:40:35,420 --> 00:40:38,060
So, where should
our first party be?
768
00:40:39,140 --> 00:40:41,220
Marshall, I just don't know
how to thank you for this.
769
00:40:41,300 --> 00:40:43,940
Barnaby's in Manhattan Beach
is one of our absolute favorites.
770
00:40:44,020 --> 00:40:44,940
Isn't it, Fred?
771
00:40:45,020 --> 00:40:46,780
Oh no, are you kidding me?
Thank you
772
00:40:46,860 --> 00:40:48,900
for letting me show
my gratitude to you two.
773
00:40:48,980 --> 00:40:50,780
Oh, isn't that sweet, Fred?
774
00:40:50,860 --> 00:40:52,540
Okay, come on.
775
00:40:52,620 --> 00:40:54,660
- Hey, what are you guys doing tonight?
- Let's go.
776
00:40:54,740 --> 00:40:56,420
Tonight's gonna be
a big night actually,
777
00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:58,580
- 'cause we have a meeting of all...
- Wow!
778
00:40:58,660 --> 00:41:01,020
- Might have a few people over...
- Oh.
779
00:41:01,060 --> 00:41:02,700
...watch some movies,
play some games.
780
00:41:02,780 --> 00:41:05,060
- Naked Marco Polo.
- That sounds nice.
781
00:41:05,140 --> 00:41:06,820
Well, there are plenty
of sodas in the fridge.
782
00:41:06,900 --> 00:41:08,740
- Awesome.
- Have a good time.
783
00:41:08,820 --> 00:41:10,620
Thanks, Mom.
784
00:41:11,620 --> 00:41:13,540
Come on, honey.
785
00:41:13,620 --> 00:41:16,860
Do you have any idea how much
hot cougar ass is gonna be here tonight?
786
00:41:16,940 --> 00:41:19,260
Completely out of control.
787
00:41:19,340 --> 00:41:21,700
All three of the bosses' wives
are gonna be represented.
788
00:41:24,060 --> 00:41:25,660
- Wow.
- Operation Bosses'-wife-Fuck
789
00:41:25,740 --> 00:41:27,900
is definitely a go.
790
00:41:27,980 --> 00:41:30,300
Bye-bye!
791
00:41:32,060 --> 00:41:33,900
- Okay, calm down.
- Yeah, okay.
792
00:41:33,980 --> 00:41:36,580
- Seriously, calm down.
- Roll, bitches!
793
00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:38,180
One two three four
794
00:41:43,260 --> 00:41:45,420
Loaded cougar
motherfuckers!
795
00:41:45,500 --> 00:41:48,380
Comin' atcha...
796
00:41:57,100 --> 00:42:00,100
Teddy Archibald.
797
00:42:00,180 --> 00:42:02,780
Hey, you look ravishing tonight.
798
00:42:02,860 --> 00:42:04,820
- Doesn't she, guys?
- Well, thank you, Hogan.
799
00:42:04,900 --> 00:42:06,500
Oh, you're so welcome.
800
00:42:06,580 --> 00:42:08,500
Who's your little friend?
801
00:42:08,580 --> 00:42:12,020
Teddy Archibald, I'd like you
to meet Karl Dessler.
802
00:42:13,660 --> 00:42:15,420
Hello, Karl.
803
00:42:15,460 --> 00:42:17,580
Hi... ah!
804
00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:19,540
Hey!
805
00:42:21,860 --> 00:42:23,580
I'm not sure she's even a woman.
806
00:42:23,660 --> 00:42:26,260
Uh, I'm not sure he'll even notice.
807
00:42:26,340 --> 00:42:27,580
Mm, you're right.
808
00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:31,300
Whoo!
809
00:42:31,380 --> 00:42:34,180
Cindy Conrad is here.
810
00:42:34,260 --> 00:42:36,100
Oh.
811
00:42:36,180 --> 00:42:38,660
- I remember now, Trans Am.
- Uh-huh.
812
00:42:38,740 --> 00:42:41,780
Let's go get reacquainted.
813
00:42:41,860 --> 00:42:44,100
Holy shit, she's here. I can't--
814
00:42:44,180 --> 00:42:46,460
Spence, no. Hey, come on.
815
00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:48,820
Don't puss out now.
816
00:42:49,860 --> 00:42:52,780
Oh, Cindy Conrad.
817
00:42:52,860 --> 00:42:53,900
Wow.
818
00:42:53,980 --> 00:42:55,820
- Marshall Hogan.
- Hi.
819
00:42:55,900 --> 00:42:57,420
- It's so good to see you again.
- Yeah.
820
00:42:57,500 --> 00:43:00,020
Wanna fuck?
821
00:43:07,980 --> 00:43:09,700
Okay.
822
00:43:17,420 --> 00:43:19,540
- Hi, Spence.
- Hi.
823
00:43:22,780 --> 00:43:26,020
Can l, uh, get you a drink or...
824
00:43:26,100 --> 00:43:28,220
anything? Yeah.
825
00:43:28,300 --> 00:43:30,500
Do you mind if l...?
826
00:43:30,580 --> 00:43:32,860
Thanks.
827
00:43:32,900 --> 00:43:34,660
So...
828
00:43:34,740 --> 00:43:37,220
how's it going?
829
00:43:37,300 --> 00:43:40,580
Never better. He's dating someone
he thinks he could marry,
830
00:43:40,660 --> 00:43:43,220
so I'm hearing less from him,
which is great.
831
00:43:43,300 --> 00:43:45,180
Can I ask you something?
832
00:43:45,220 --> 00:43:47,140
"Why did I marry him
in the first place?"
833
00:43:47,220 --> 00:43:49,900
No no no, I didn't mean to pry,
it's just that...
834
00:43:49,980 --> 00:43:53,580
you are too beautiful and smart
835
00:43:53,660 --> 00:43:56,100
and nice to be married
to a guy like him.
836
00:43:56,180 --> 00:43:58,780
I won't miss the way
you're looking at me right now.
837
00:43:58,860 --> 00:44:01,540
Everyone looks at me that way,
even when they hear he's my husband.
838
00:44:01,620 --> 00:44:04,420
- I feel bad for you.
- Well don't,
839
00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:06,220
because I kinda hate that.
840
00:44:06,300 --> 00:44:08,580
I'm not a victim. I left.
841
00:44:10,420 --> 00:44:14,260
Look, Cindy dragged me here tonight,
842
00:44:14,340 --> 00:44:15,940
but it's really not my scene.
843
00:44:16,020 --> 00:44:18,100
I'm not into
a meaningless relationship
844
00:44:18,180 --> 00:44:21,460
with some guy who wasn't even
born before disco.
845
00:44:22,460 --> 00:44:24,180
Excuse me.
846
00:44:24,260 --> 00:44:26,100
Wait.
847
00:44:42,340 --> 00:44:44,540
Peek-a-boo.
848
00:44:44,620 --> 00:44:46,940
- Trans...
- Mmm!
849
00:44:46,980 --> 00:44:49,820
...am.
850
00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:51,100
Uh-oh.
851
00:44:51,180 --> 00:44:53,780
- Watcha doin' down there?
- Hide...
852
00:44:53,860 --> 00:44:55,020
and seek.
853
00:44:55,100 --> 00:44:57,660
What is she doing?
854
00:44:57,740 --> 00:45:00,140
She's in there.
855
00:45:01,380 --> 00:45:03,180
Uh-oh! Can l...
856
00:45:05,580 --> 00:45:07,420
Ow!
857
00:45:07,460 --> 00:45:09,660
Ah!
858
00:45:13,180 --> 00:45:14,860
Sorry about the bed.
859
00:45:14,940 --> 00:45:18,140
The... king size
is on back order,
860
00:45:18,220 --> 00:45:20,100
so...
861
00:45:20,180 --> 00:45:21,780
Do you and Hogan
share a room?
862
00:45:21,860 --> 00:45:23,380
What?
863
00:45:23,460 --> 00:45:26,580
No. No no no no.
864
00:45:26,660 --> 00:45:27,980
Nope.
865
00:45:29,100 --> 00:45:30,500
- Mm.
- Mm.
866
00:45:44,540 --> 00:45:45,860
Mm-- ow.
867
00:45:45,940 --> 00:45:47,740
How do you feel...
868
00:45:51,980 --> 00:45:53,700
about feet?
869
00:46:02,540 --> 00:46:03,580
Ow.
870
00:46:09,980 --> 00:46:12,020
Mm, oh!
871
00:46:12,100 --> 00:46:13,580
Oh, just...
872
00:46:13,660 --> 00:46:16,540
- it's so hard, just need a minute.
- Okay okay.
873
00:46:28,060 --> 00:46:30,900
Shh shh.
874
00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:35,900
Okay.
875
00:46:35,940 --> 00:46:38,140
- No more "shush."
- I'm ready.
876
00:46:38,220 --> 00:46:41,260
I know,
I can feel it.
877
00:46:41,340 --> 00:46:42,980
- Ooh!
- Mm.
878
00:46:43,060 --> 00:46:45,460
- So young.
- Yeah, so young.
879
00:46:45,540 --> 00:46:46,660
So young.
880
00:47:03,820 --> 00:47:05,940
Oh yeah!
881
00:47:06,020 --> 00:47:07,340
Take your time!
882
00:47:14,580 --> 00:47:17,260
You know that if you smack my ass,
it doesn't move.
883
00:47:18,260 --> 00:47:20,100
Yeah. Go ahead.
884
00:47:20,180 --> 00:47:21,780
Smack it.
885
00:47:21,860 --> 00:47:23,980
Punch it if you want to.
Go ahead.
886
00:47:24,060 --> 00:47:27,180
Smack it! Smack it!
887
00:47:28,180 --> 00:47:30,300
- Okay?
- Whoo! Ha ha ha!
888
00:47:30,380 --> 00:47:32,500
Wah!
889
00:47:34,820 --> 00:47:36,220
Mommy.
890
00:47:36,260 --> 00:47:40,180
Drop your panties
to the floor
891
00:47:40,260 --> 00:47:43,300
- Come on...
- Wanna do it again?
892
00:47:43,380 --> 00:47:45,180
Drop your panties...
893
00:47:45,220 --> 00:47:46,420
Yep.
894
00:47:46,500 --> 00:47:49,180
Drop your panties
to the floor
895
00:47:49,260 --> 00:47:51,780
To the floor,
to the floor
896
00:47:51,860 --> 00:47:54,020
Drop your panties
897
00:47:54,100 --> 00:47:57,140
Drop your panties...
898
00:48:02,660 --> 00:48:05,900
Holy shit.
899
00:48:05,980 --> 00:48:08,020
It's my parents.
900
00:48:09,980 --> 00:48:12,980
Spencer, you're a 22-year-old man.
You're allowed to have sex.
901
00:48:13,060 --> 00:48:15,420
No no, it's not--
it's not the sex part.
902
00:48:15,500 --> 00:48:17,740
It's the--
the party part.
903
00:48:23,900 --> 00:48:25,780
Holy shit, it's Barry.
904
00:48:25,860 --> 00:48:28,300
- What?
- Barry, my ex-husband.
905
00:48:28,380 --> 00:48:29,620
Your boss!
906
00:48:29,700 --> 00:48:32,420
Fuck! Don't move.
907
00:48:32,500 --> 00:48:34,740
Stay here until I get back.
908
00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:43,500
- Nice place.
- Oh, thanks.
909
00:48:44,780 --> 00:48:47,420
Mom and Dad are home,
and they're with Barry Stack.
910
00:48:47,500 --> 00:48:48,460
- Fuck!
- Fuck!
911
00:48:48,540 --> 00:48:50,860
Go outside, make sure everyone stays
out of the fuckin' house.
912
00:48:50,940 --> 00:48:53,020
Yeah. Go go go go.
913
00:48:53,100 --> 00:48:56,260
- Go go go go go go!
- Come on!
914
00:49:03,460 --> 00:49:06,540
Oh, come on.
Are you kidding me?
915
00:49:06,620 --> 00:49:08,700
Take it outside!
916
00:49:09,860 --> 00:49:11,820
Okay, here we... come on.
917
00:49:11,900 --> 00:49:13,140
Here we are.
918
00:49:13,220 --> 00:49:15,380
Mom, Dad!
Mr. Stack!
919
00:49:15,460 --> 00:49:17,540
Wow, what a surprise.
Well, this is great.
920
00:49:17,620 --> 00:49:19,580
Look who we ran into
at Barnaby's, huh?
921
00:49:19,660 --> 00:49:21,980
He was at a wedding reception
in the outside garden.
922
00:49:22,020 --> 00:49:23,700
- Oh, it was stunning.
- Oh, I see, I see.
923
00:49:23,780 --> 00:49:27,580
I thought-- I thought you and Mom
were gonna spend the night, but...?
924
00:49:27,660 --> 00:49:30,380
- Well...
- Oh, your dad had a touch of diarrhea.
925
00:49:30,460 --> 00:49:32,580
So let's--
let's just go sit in the living room.
926
00:49:32,660 --> 00:49:35,340
Uh, the living room, Mom,
that's a great idea.
927
00:49:35,420 --> 00:49:39,220
No no, nonsense, nonsense.
The living room's for Yale-bred.
928
00:49:39,300 --> 00:49:41,180
Men talk in the den.
929
00:49:41,220 --> 00:49:43,620
- Hmm?
- Mmm.
930
00:49:43,700 --> 00:49:45,980
Ah! Now we're talking, huh?
931
00:49:46,020 --> 00:49:47,260
Oh-- whoa!
932
00:49:47,340 --> 00:49:49,260
Watch your step there.
933
00:49:50,980 --> 00:49:52,580
- Okay now, Fred,
- Yeah?
934
00:49:52,660 --> 00:49:54,660
I'm gonna go get you
your little orange miracle-worker.
935
00:49:54,740 --> 00:49:56,300
Anybody for coffee
or bundt cake?
936
00:49:56,380 --> 00:49:57,940
- Fantastic.
- You know what, Mom?
937
00:49:58,020 --> 00:50:01,020
Why don't you stay here
and I'll go get the coffee...
938
00:50:01,100 --> 00:50:02,580
Oh honey, no, you sit.
939
00:50:02,660 --> 00:50:04,340
Honey, Dad and Mr. Stack
are gonna talk
940
00:50:04,420 --> 00:50:06,060
about your
recommendation letter to Yale.
941
00:50:06,140 --> 00:50:08,340
- You stay.
- It would be inappropriate
942
00:50:08,420 --> 00:50:11,980
for me to try to influence
Mr. Stack directly.
943
00:50:12,060 --> 00:50:13,580
No no no, sit sit sit.
944
00:50:13,660 --> 00:50:14,820
Excuse me.
945
00:50:15,860 --> 00:50:18,860
He's an... impetuous kid,
you know?
946
00:50:32,820 --> 00:50:35,500
- Mo-- Mom!
- Oh honey! Didn't know you were here.
947
00:50:35,580 --> 00:50:38,300
Sweetheart, would you look in
the fridge and get that bundt cake?
948
00:50:38,380 --> 00:50:39,300
Sure, absolutely.
949
00:50:39,380 --> 00:50:41,660
- Oh, and a can of whipped cream.
- Uh...
950
00:50:41,700 --> 00:50:44,420
- I don't see it.
- Really, I know I bought some.
951
00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:46,540
Oh good, you found it.
952
00:50:46,620 --> 00:50:48,500
I knew I bought that.
953
00:50:53,420 --> 00:50:56,460
Honey, is that your tummy?
954
00:50:56,540 --> 00:50:59,060
Yeah yeah, I think I have a touch
of what Dad has.
955
00:50:59,140 --> 00:51:01,060
Oh, sweetheart,
is there burning in your anus?
956
00:51:01,140 --> 00:51:02,540
Yep yep, just a little bit.
957
00:51:02,620 --> 00:51:04,380
Well, maybe you need
one of Dad's little orange pills.
958
00:51:04,460 --> 00:51:07,020
Yeah, you know what?
I'm just gonna let it pass.
959
00:51:07,100 --> 00:51:08,020
- You sure?
- Yes.
960
00:51:08,100 --> 00:51:09,860
- That's a good idea.
- Well, all right.
961
00:51:09,940 --> 00:51:11,500
You know where they are.
Come on, sweetheart,
962
00:51:11,580 --> 00:51:13,460
follow me with that bundt cake.
Let's go.
963
00:51:13,540 --> 00:51:15,140
Yeah, we don't want
to keep them waiting.
964
00:51:15,220 --> 00:51:16,660
I know.
965
00:51:16,740 --> 00:51:18,620
Get the fuck out of here!
966
00:51:18,660 --> 00:51:20,300
- Gesundheit.
- Thank you.
967
00:51:24,380 --> 00:51:26,300
- Here we go.
- Ah, here.
968
00:51:26,380 --> 00:51:28,020
All right.
969
00:51:28,100 --> 00:51:30,020
Yeah, beautiful beautiful.
970
00:51:30,100 --> 00:51:31,980
Oh.
971
00:51:32,060 --> 00:51:35,900
Wow. Hogan's got a hell
of a Marco Polo game going on.
972
00:51:35,980 --> 00:51:38,660
Marco Polo--
it's still popular, isn't it?
973
00:51:38,740 --> 00:51:40,660
You sit--
you sit there, honey.
974
00:51:40,740 --> 00:51:43,420
So Barry was telling me
there that...
975
00:51:43,500 --> 00:51:46,580
you are quite the ambitious,
hard-working employee.
976
00:51:46,660 --> 00:51:49,700
And you've got quite
the aptitude for the law.
977
00:51:49,780 --> 00:51:51,820
- That-- that's great, Spence.
- Yeah.
978
00:51:51,900 --> 00:51:53,660
- Here you go, Barry.
- Thanks, Mr. Stack.
979
00:51:53,740 --> 00:51:55,780
Yeah.
980
00:51:55,860 --> 00:51:57,100
Oh.
981
00:51:57,180 --> 00:52:00,340
Oh, that sounds like
it's really deep in your cavity, honey.
982
00:52:00,420 --> 00:52:03,300
- Just give me the pill, honey.
- Ooh.
983
00:52:11,060 --> 00:52:13,900
- What are you doing?
- I'm in Cougar Club.
984
00:52:13,980 --> 00:52:15,460
Right, and rule number one
of Cougar Club
985
00:52:15,540 --> 00:52:17,100
is you don't fucking talk
about Cougar Club!
986
00:52:17,180 --> 00:52:18,820
Now take her back
to your place.
987
00:52:18,900 --> 00:52:22,940
All the beauty in the world
988
00:52:23,020 --> 00:52:25,060
All the beauty
in the world...
989
00:52:37,260 --> 00:52:39,420
I'm so glad that we...
990
00:52:39,500 --> 00:52:41,980
- Hi!
- Amanda.
991
00:52:42,060 --> 00:52:43,660
- Where were you?
- What are you doing here?
992
00:52:43,740 --> 00:52:45,420
- What?
- We were supposed to go
993
00:52:45,500 --> 00:52:48,100
on the horseback ride from
Beachwood Canyon to Glendale.
994
00:52:48,180 --> 00:52:49,540
How could you forget that?
995
00:52:49,620 --> 00:52:52,580
- It was sunset.
- Oh.
996
00:52:52,660 --> 00:52:55,660
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I had a meeting here
997
00:52:55,740 --> 00:53:00,020
with my boss. Mr. Stack,
this is my girlfriend, Amanda.
998
00:53:00,100 --> 00:53:03,060
Yeah, except you didn't know
I was gonna be here tonight.
999
00:53:03,140 --> 00:53:04,900
How very nice
to meet you, Amanda.
1000
00:53:04,980 --> 00:53:06,820
I'm Barry Stack.
1001
00:53:06,900 --> 00:53:08,220
Is this true, Spencey?
1002
00:53:08,260 --> 00:53:11,020
It's, um--
what was the question?
1003
00:53:11,100 --> 00:53:14,260
Well, obviously you didn't
invite me to your party.
1004
00:53:14,340 --> 00:53:16,500
I mean, apparently I'm just
a little too young.
1005
00:53:16,580 --> 00:53:18,300
All the women
out there are really old.
1006
00:53:18,380 --> 00:53:20,780
Why are you partying
with a bunch of 50-year-olds?
1007
00:53:20,860 --> 00:53:23,140
Are you into old ladies, Spencey?
1008
00:53:23,220 --> 00:53:25,300
What? No.
1009
00:53:25,380 --> 00:53:27,100
I-- I don't know what
she's talking about.
1010
00:53:27,180 --> 00:53:30,780
I-l-l-l-I I don't know-- I don't know
how to thank you enough, Barry,
1011
00:53:30,860 --> 00:53:34,180
for this letter of recommendation.
It just means the world to us.
1012
00:53:34,260 --> 00:53:35,940
No thanks necessary, Fred.
1013
00:53:36,020 --> 00:53:37,700
Anyway, after all is said and done,
1014
00:53:37,780 --> 00:53:40,580
I think Spencey's
gonna earn that letter.
1015
00:53:40,660 --> 00:53:43,340
Of course-- of course--
of course he is. Of course, of course.
1016
00:53:51,220 --> 00:53:53,180
Let's go. Let's...
1017
00:53:57,660 --> 00:53:59,540
Oh.
1018
00:53:59,620 --> 00:54:01,540
Good night, Spence.
1019
00:54:01,620 --> 00:54:04,140
- Spence, what's going on?
- It's not--
1020
00:54:04,220 --> 00:54:05,980
Isn't she a little old
for Marco Polo?
1021
00:54:06,060 --> 00:54:07,500
Daniela, wait!
1022
00:54:07,580 --> 00:54:10,220
Spence? Spence!
1023
00:54:12,460 --> 00:54:15,740
I had no idea
he would be here, I swear.
1024
00:54:15,820 --> 00:54:17,060
Don't go.
1025
00:54:17,140 --> 00:54:19,100
Spence, I'm sorry.
You're a really nice guy,
1026
00:54:19,180 --> 00:54:21,020
but I don't want
anything here, okay?
1027
00:54:21,100 --> 00:54:23,340
- Come on, can't we just talk about it?
- Good night, Spence.
1028
00:54:23,420 --> 00:54:25,060
What the--?
1029
00:54:25,140 --> 00:54:27,340
You're not over him yet, are you?
1030
00:54:27,420 --> 00:54:28,540
Spence?
1031
00:54:28,620 --> 00:54:31,340
Are you having
a relationship with this old lady?
1032
00:54:32,820 --> 00:54:36,100
Oh my Go-- you know, I would
expect this from Hogan, okay?
1033
00:54:36,180 --> 00:54:38,740
He's-- he's sick!
But you?
1034
00:54:38,820 --> 00:54:41,540
Amanda, not now, just go home.
1035
00:54:41,620 --> 00:54:44,100
Daniela, wait!
1036
00:54:47,380 --> 00:54:49,140
You're a fucker, Spence!
1037
00:55:08,700 --> 00:55:11,500
Good morning, guys.
Your applicants are here.
1038
00:55:11,580 --> 00:55:13,460
What?
1039
00:55:13,540 --> 00:55:14,940
They're not supposed
to come here.
1040
00:55:15,020 --> 00:55:16,540
Thank you very much,
sweetheart.
1041
00:55:16,620 --> 00:55:18,940
I think we can take it from here.
Gentlemen?
1042
00:55:20,300 --> 00:55:22,620
So, tell us why
1043
00:55:22,660 --> 00:55:24,940
you want to be members
of Cougar Club.
1044
00:55:25,020 --> 00:55:27,700
Well, it's like--
I've been fantasizing
1045
00:55:27,780 --> 00:55:30,220
about my mom's friends
for a long time.
1046
00:55:31,260 --> 00:55:33,140
- So has he.
- Mm-hmm.
1047
00:55:33,220 --> 00:55:35,220
Right. Welcome.
1048
00:55:36,340 --> 00:55:38,780
- Yeah, okay.
- Thanks.
1049
00:55:38,860 --> 00:55:42,140
- Congratulations.
- Why don't you guys read these over?
1050
00:55:42,180 --> 00:55:44,580
A couple times.
Get the hell out of here.
1051
00:55:51,740 --> 00:55:55,460
That's 345 and 346.
We've more than tripled our membership.
1052
00:55:55,540 --> 00:55:57,660
It's just like you said.
1053
00:55:57,740 --> 00:55:59,740
- La-la-la!
- You know I don't like that.
1054
00:55:59,820 --> 00:56:01,860
- What?
- This, gross.
1055
00:56:01,940 --> 00:56:05,900
So I look at the question and the answer
just seems to pop into my head.
1056
00:56:05,980 --> 00:56:08,420
And I've been here
so many times before,
1057
00:56:08,500 --> 00:56:11,020
- and I go blank, so--
- Oh! Okay okay.
1058
00:56:11,100 --> 00:56:13,980
Is it a foot?
1059
00:56:14,060 --> 00:56:15,260
Mm-hmm.
1060
00:56:17,140 --> 00:56:19,300
Oh hell no.
1061
00:56:19,380 --> 00:56:21,660
No, try it, it's good.
1062
00:56:21,740 --> 00:56:24,780
Have you tried the toenail?
It's a secret ingredient.
1063
00:56:24,860 --> 00:56:26,620
What the...?
What is this?
1064
00:56:26,700 --> 00:56:28,900
Guys, I passed the bar.
1065
00:56:28,980 --> 00:56:31,300
- No, you didn't!
- I did.
1066
00:56:31,380 --> 00:56:32,700
Way to go, man.
1067
00:56:34,180 --> 00:56:36,100
I couldn't have done it
without you guys.
1068
00:56:36,180 --> 00:56:37,780
- Oh.
- Cougar Club--
1069
00:56:37,860 --> 00:56:40,060
I swear--
changed my life.
1070
00:56:40,140 --> 00:56:42,140
- That's sweet, man.
- Lsn't he sweet?
1071
00:56:42,220 --> 00:56:44,900
- It's true.
- Oh.
1072
00:56:44,980 --> 00:56:46,300
Hey, okay.
1073
00:56:46,380 --> 00:56:47,740
Okay, all right, Karl.
1074
00:56:49,380 --> 00:56:51,860
Have some celebratory cake.
1075
00:56:51,940 --> 00:56:55,460
Well well well.
Congratulations, butt-licker.
1076
00:56:55,540 --> 00:56:56,980
Thanks, Mr. Archibald.
1077
00:57:00,460 --> 00:57:03,100
And your wife.
Thank her for me too.
1078
00:57:04,140 --> 00:57:06,020
Attention shit turd
1079
00:57:06,100 --> 00:57:07,740
and shit-turd's friend.
1080
00:57:07,820 --> 00:57:10,300
Put down the fucking snacks
and get in here.
1081
00:57:10,380 --> 00:57:14,260
Oh, and a special congratulations
to douche bag.
1082
00:57:14,340 --> 00:57:17,420
I never thought you'd pass.
1083
00:57:20,860 --> 00:57:22,500
He knew my name.
1084
00:57:52,420 --> 00:57:54,500
Assignment time.
1085
00:57:54,580 --> 00:57:57,260
I need you shit turds to go
to L Oberman's house with a camera.
1086
00:57:57,340 --> 00:57:58,940
His address is in the folder.
1087
00:57:59,020 --> 00:58:01,260
I have knowledge
he does hookers by the pool
1088
00:58:01,340 --> 00:58:02,620
on Wednesdays at 3:00.
1089
00:58:02,700 --> 00:58:04,820
Take pictures
and bring them back to me.
1090
00:58:04,900 --> 00:58:06,380
Go!
1091
00:58:07,460 --> 00:58:08,940
You are aware, sir--
1092
00:58:09,020 --> 00:58:11,380
Are you speaking to me?
1093
00:58:11,460 --> 00:58:14,140
It's not what--
1094
00:58:21,980 --> 00:58:23,980
Spence?
1095
00:58:24,060 --> 00:58:26,260
By the way, I was wondering
if you were able
1096
00:58:26,340 --> 00:58:28,620
to finish my letter
of recommendation?
1097
00:58:28,700 --> 00:58:31,420
Not yet, shit turd.
1098
00:58:31,500 --> 00:58:34,340
Do you know when you might be
able to finish it? Because I really--
1099
00:58:34,420 --> 00:58:36,620
You'll know when
you're fucking looking at it!
1100
00:58:36,700 --> 00:58:38,900
Okay! Yeah.
1101
00:58:38,980 --> 00:58:41,060
We will know that
when we're looking at it.
1102
00:58:41,140 --> 00:58:42,900
We look forward to that.
1103
00:58:42,980 --> 00:58:44,940
Don't kill the asshole yet.
1104
00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:52,980
Look what I found
in shit-turd friend's backpack.
1105
00:58:54,260 --> 00:58:55,940
"Cougar Club"?
1106
00:58:56,020 --> 00:58:57,500
Hmm.
1107
00:58:59,060 --> 00:59:01,740
I think our wives
are involved in this.
1108
00:59:11,020 --> 00:59:14,020
I can't believe she's still in love
with that fucking guy.
1109
00:59:15,220 --> 00:59:17,100
Why won't she call me back?
1110
00:59:17,180 --> 00:59:19,300
Conrad's wife
won't stop calling me.
1111
00:59:19,380 --> 00:59:20,500
It's like, "Dude,
1112
00:59:20,580 --> 00:59:22,380
Ieave me the fuck alone."
1113
00:59:26,460 --> 00:59:29,380
Your mind should be dug out
and studied, man.
1114
00:59:29,460 --> 00:59:31,260
Why?
1115
00:59:31,340 --> 00:59:33,380
I know what I like.
1116
00:59:33,460 --> 00:59:36,580
Oh, ladies, I gotta go
pull on my bow.
1117
00:59:38,620 --> 00:59:39,860
What is that?
1118
00:59:39,940 --> 00:59:44,500
That, my friend, is a gold lamé
banana hammock.
1119
00:59:44,580 --> 00:59:46,180
No.
1120
00:59:46,260 --> 00:59:49,140
No, that's a bow and arrow.
1121
00:59:54,220 --> 00:59:56,300
Ay, caramba.
1122
01:00:00,180 --> 01:00:01,580
Oh shit.
1123
01:00:05,460 --> 01:00:07,940
Who the fuck?
1124
01:00:24,980 --> 01:00:27,860
Oh, sorry, shit turds.
1125
01:00:27,940 --> 01:00:30,100
I heard you got banged up a little,
1126
01:00:30,140 --> 01:00:33,380
but the firm really appreciates
you going that extra mile.
1127
01:00:33,460 --> 01:00:36,900
And hey, I'll write that letter
of recommendation
1128
01:00:36,980 --> 01:00:38,220
real soon.
1129
01:00:41,420 --> 01:00:42,780
- Everyone's paid up.
- Okay.
1130
01:00:42,860 --> 01:00:44,420
- Cool cool cool.
- Thanks for checking, Karl.
1131
01:00:44,500 --> 01:00:46,020
- You all right?
- Yeah. Ahem.
1132
01:00:48,980 --> 01:00:50,500
Hello, Cougar Club.
1133
01:00:55,740 --> 01:00:59,060
All right, nice to see you guys
showed up here today.
1134
01:00:59,140 --> 01:01:02,020
Let's talk about it.
1135
01:01:02,100 --> 01:01:03,860
How great was pool party?
1136
01:01:09,740 --> 01:01:12,380
How about Film-Your-Own-
Threesome Thursdays?
1137
01:01:14,580 --> 01:01:17,020
I'm gonna take it down
a notch here
1138
01:01:17,100 --> 01:01:19,180
because some of you are
a little skittish about this one--
1139
01:01:19,260 --> 01:01:21,380
you're regretting it now--
a little something called
1140
01:01:21,460 --> 01:01:24,980
"Midnight Graveyard
Cougar Hunt."
1141
01:01:29,020 --> 01:01:30,580
Oh yeah!
1142
01:01:30,660 --> 01:01:34,140
All right, all right.
So now, as all of you know,
1143
01:01:34,220 --> 01:01:36,700
September 19th
1144
01:01:36,780 --> 01:01:40,860
is our big Cougar Club extravaganza
1145
01:01:40,940 --> 01:01:42,660
in Beverly Hills.
1146
01:01:42,740 --> 01:01:45,820
That's right.
Okay, guys,
1147
01:01:45,900 --> 01:01:47,940
so it just comes down to this--
simple.
1148
01:01:48,020 --> 01:01:50,980
Don't be pussies,
take care of your cougars,
1149
01:01:51,060 --> 01:01:52,460
'cause they take care of you.
1150
01:01:54,700 --> 01:01:57,500
Cougar cougar cougar...
1151
01:02:11,580 --> 01:02:13,220
Hello, BMW.
1152
01:02:16,740 --> 01:02:19,020
Nice. A Lexus.
1153
01:02:20,460 --> 01:02:24,140
Ah. Miss Cadillac.
Very nice.
1154
01:02:24,220 --> 01:02:27,140
Ooh.
Jaguar.
1155
01:02:27,220 --> 01:02:29,860
- Oh yeah.
- Come over and sort you out.
1156
01:02:33,820 --> 01:02:36,340
Oh shit, it's the Trans Am.
Hide me.
1157
01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:38,140
Hey, Hogan.
1158
01:02:38,220 --> 01:02:41,180
Still ain't moving, baby. Yeow!
1159
01:02:41,260 --> 01:02:42,900
Look at that.
1160
01:02:44,980 --> 01:02:47,380
- Hey.
- You know it, I'll show it.
1161
01:02:47,460 --> 01:02:48,860
Whoo!
1162
01:02:50,540 --> 01:02:53,380
- Welcome.
- Guess Daniela didn't come with her.
1163
01:02:53,460 --> 01:02:56,420
Okay, Cameron, pay up.
1164
01:02:56,500 --> 01:02:58,340
ATM's inside.
Here you go.
1165
01:02:58,420 --> 01:03:00,860
Tried to run one by Karl?
Not gonna happen, pal.
1166
01:03:00,940 --> 01:03:02,620
He's got eyes like a hawk.
1167
01:03:04,420 --> 01:03:07,420
Look at her.
Here she comes, there she goes.
1168
01:03:20,140 --> 01:03:21,940
Hey!
1169
01:03:33,500 --> 01:03:36,900
Karl. Karl.
Did you-- you swipe this guy in?
1170
01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:38,540
Ooh!
1171
01:03:39,540 --> 01:03:42,540
No, l-- no, I don't know
how he got in here.
1172
01:03:42,620 --> 01:03:44,260
- No.
- Cougar crasher.
1173
01:03:47,860 --> 01:03:50,300
Well, look at you, baby. Hey.
1174
01:03:50,380 --> 01:03:52,260
Um, can I see
your Cougar card?
1175
01:03:52,340 --> 01:03:53,660
Cougar card?
1176
01:03:54,660 --> 01:03:57,020
I'm gonna have to pull him away
for a sec, will you excuse us?
1177
01:03:57,060 --> 01:03:58,020
Sure.
1178
01:03:58,100 --> 01:04:00,420
This is a private party,
and I'm really sorry, members only.
1179
01:04:00,500 --> 01:04:02,340
- You're gonna have to go.
- Come on, man.
1180
01:04:02,420 --> 01:04:06,740
That girl, she wants me.
I can get with her in like five minutes.
1181
01:04:06,820 --> 01:04:09,740
Well, unfortunately,
only members get that chance.
1182
01:04:09,820 --> 01:04:10,900
Members only.
1183
01:04:10,980 --> 01:04:13,220
Well, what do I got to do
to become a member?
1184
01:04:13,300 --> 01:04:16,900
Well, I mean, there's a whole
extensive screening process.
1185
01:04:16,980 --> 01:04:19,540
My partner and l
have to interview you...
1186
01:04:19,620 --> 01:04:21,100
And then if they approve,
1187
01:04:21,180 --> 01:04:24,860
- then you pay a fee of like--
- $3,000 to join,
1188
01:04:24,940 --> 01:04:27,540
and then there is individual fees
for each event.
1189
01:04:27,620 --> 01:04:29,180
Great, I've interviewed.
1190
01:04:29,260 --> 01:04:32,380
I just won like, five grad cash
at one of the lndian casinos.
1191
01:04:32,460 --> 01:04:35,740
I'll slide that your way,
and then I'll be a member.
1192
01:04:35,820 --> 01:04:38,020
Okay.
1193
01:04:38,100 --> 01:04:41,060
- $5,000?
- Come here. Come here!
1194
01:04:41,140 --> 01:04:42,940
- Okay. Okay.
- Okay.
1195
01:04:43,020 --> 01:04:46,820
Let's-- just hold on
just a second, Cindy.
1196
01:04:46,900 --> 01:04:48,180
Hold.
1197
01:04:48,260 --> 01:04:50,700
Meet my partner, we'll finish
this transaction, all right?
1198
01:04:50,780 --> 01:04:51,980
- All right.
- Right this way.
1199
01:04:52,060 --> 01:04:54,420
- After you, sir. Please, after you.
- That's fine.
1200
01:04:54,500 --> 01:04:55,940
Attaboy.
1201
01:05:03,340 --> 01:05:06,140
What the hell are you
doing over here, man?
1202
01:05:06,180 --> 01:05:08,380
- I can't fuckin' believe it.
- What?
1203
01:05:08,460 --> 01:05:10,460
She's here with him.
1204
01:05:10,540 --> 01:05:12,700
Oh damn.
1205
01:05:12,780 --> 01:05:14,180
I'm so sorry, man.
1206
01:05:14,260 --> 01:05:16,420
Look, just real quick,
I got something I got to ask you.
1207
01:05:16,500 --> 01:05:18,060
- Now?
- Yeah, just two seconds.
1208
01:05:18,140 --> 01:05:21,420
There's this guy here and he's
willing to pay five grand tonight
1209
01:05:21,500 --> 01:05:23,660
to join Cougar Club.
What do you think?
1210
01:05:23,740 --> 01:05:25,940
Spence, what do you think?
1211
01:05:26,020 --> 01:05:27,900
- It's-- it's fine.
- Yeah?
1212
01:05:27,980 --> 01:05:29,340
- Yeah.
- Okay, cool.
1213
01:05:29,420 --> 01:05:30,980
Damn, so sorry.
1214
01:05:31,060 --> 01:05:32,500
- Okay.
- Yes, sir.
1215
01:05:32,580 --> 01:05:34,580
- Now look, my friend is busy here.
- Okay.
1216
01:05:34,660 --> 01:05:36,300
Okay?
But he's gonna give you a shot...
1217
01:05:36,380 --> 01:05:37,660
- Oh.
- ...on this, all right?
1218
01:05:37,740 --> 01:05:39,380
- One shot.
- Wow.
1219
01:05:39,460 --> 01:05:43,060
So-- so basically
I give you this...
1220
01:05:43,140 --> 01:05:47,020
5,000 bucks
and I get to go nail that hottie?
1221
01:05:48,140 --> 01:05:50,780
You are a charmer.
Yeah, you get to nail that cougar.
1222
01:05:50,860 --> 01:05:53,060
- Cougar. Eh...
- Cougar.
1223
01:05:53,140 --> 01:05:54,500
Cougar.
1224
01:05:54,580 --> 01:05:55,660
Nice.
1225
01:05:57,020 --> 01:05:58,740
It's there.
1226
01:05:58,820 --> 01:06:01,300
- Welcome to Cougar Club.
- All right.
1227
01:06:01,380 --> 01:06:02,700
Welcome to Cougar Club, man.
1228
01:06:02,780 --> 01:06:03,740
- Ow!
- Hey, what are you--
1229
01:06:03,820 --> 01:06:06,340
- What the hell?
- I'm Detective John Butler.
1230
01:06:06,420 --> 01:06:08,140
You're both under arrest
for pandering.
1231
01:06:08,220 --> 01:06:09,500
- What?
- Beat it, douche bag.
1232
01:06:09,580 --> 01:06:11,020
Oh my... God,
he knew my name!
1233
01:06:11,100 --> 01:06:12,540
You both have
the right to remain silent.
1234
01:06:12,620 --> 01:06:14,340
- Anything you say...
- Turn around.
1235
01:06:14,420 --> 01:06:16,140
...can and will be
used against you.
1236
01:06:16,220 --> 01:06:19,580
- Blah blah blah blah blah...
- No way, not the shit turds.
1237
01:06:19,660 --> 01:06:22,940
Officer, these boys work for me.
Why are they being arrested?
1238
01:06:23,020 --> 01:06:24,380
Pandering.
1239
01:06:24,420 --> 01:06:26,860
Wow, you think
you know people.
1240
01:06:26,940 --> 01:06:29,500
You hear that, honey?
Pandering!
1241
01:06:29,580 --> 01:06:33,380
Should I put that in your
recommendation letter, Spencey?
1242
01:06:35,460 --> 01:06:37,140
Whoo!
1243
01:06:41,060 --> 01:06:43,940
Here's your car, boys!
1244
01:06:45,940 --> 01:06:48,180
Amanda said
if I kept associating with you,
1245
01:06:48,260 --> 01:06:50,260
it would eventually destroy me,
and she was right.
1246
01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:52,140
Oh, so, this is all my fault?
1247
01:06:52,220 --> 01:06:54,060
I did all this by myself?
1248
01:06:54,140 --> 01:06:55,860
'Cause you were there.
You said, "Fine."
1249
01:06:55,940 --> 01:06:58,420
I wasn't even looking at you
when I said it.
1250
01:06:58,500 --> 01:07:00,740
Obviously, I had
other things on my mind.
1251
01:07:00,820 --> 01:07:03,100
Do you not see how much
I lose in this thing?
1252
01:07:03,180 --> 01:07:05,380
Is that not perfectly clear to you?
1253
01:07:05,460 --> 01:07:08,980
Yale? Totally fucked.
My job? Fucked.
1254
01:07:09,060 --> 01:07:10,940
Oh, what, I didn't lose my job?
1255
01:07:10,980 --> 01:07:12,500
No, I didn't lose my job?
1256
01:07:12,580 --> 01:07:14,620
Don't even pretend
that meant anything to you,
1257
01:07:14,700 --> 01:07:17,340
because you don't have to
care about anything, Hogan.
1258
01:07:17,420 --> 01:07:19,500
You have no responsibilities,
no obligations,
1259
01:07:19,580 --> 01:07:21,700
no one breathing down your
fucking neck every day of your life
1260
01:07:21,780 --> 01:07:23,820
demanding you do something
acceptable so their friends
1261
01:07:23,900 --> 01:07:26,220
won't think badly of them
when they're asked about you.
1262
01:07:26,300 --> 01:07:27,820
You don't even live
in your own house.
1263
01:07:27,900 --> 01:07:29,380
- You know what your problem is?
- What?
1264
01:07:29,460 --> 01:07:30,940
You're a fucking pussy, Spence. Yeah.
1265
01:07:31,020 --> 01:07:34,100
You let people breathe down your neck
and tell you what you should feel
1266
01:07:34,180 --> 01:07:37,340
and what you should be and
what you should do with your life.
1267
01:07:37,420 --> 01:07:39,580
Grow up, and be a man.
1268
01:07:39,660 --> 01:07:41,660
All right, you know what?
I'm done.
1269
01:07:44,260 --> 01:07:46,860
Uh, hey...
1270
01:07:46,940 --> 01:07:50,420
You know, I've always,
I've always wondered
1271
01:07:50,500 --> 01:07:53,700
what it would be like to have
my dick in a man.
1272
01:08:15,060 --> 01:08:17,020
I can explain.
1273
01:08:19,300 --> 01:08:21,180
Just get in.
1274
01:08:30,660 --> 01:08:32,660
Come on, let's go.
1275
01:08:32,740 --> 01:08:35,180
You, stay.
1276
01:08:58,620 --> 01:09:01,580
So goodbye, Susie. Goodbye.
1277
01:09:01,660 --> 01:09:03,260
- Jack.
- Goodbye.
1278
01:09:03,340 --> 01:09:05,380
Jack, please.
1279
01:09:05,460 --> 01:09:07,900
Jack! Don't do this.
1280
01:09:13,260 --> 01:09:15,460
All right, Will,
what do you have for me?
1281
01:09:15,540 --> 01:09:18,860
Next, State of California versus Holmes
1282
01:09:18,940 --> 01:09:20,940
and Hogan lll.
1283
01:09:33,820 --> 01:09:36,100
Representing ourselves, are we?
1284
01:09:57,780 --> 01:09:59,140
Uh-huh.
1285
01:09:59,220 --> 01:10:00,700
You're late, counsel.
1286
01:10:00,780 --> 01:10:02,300
Yes. Yes, uh...
1287
01:10:02,380 --> 01:10:04,220
How do your clients plead?
1288
01:10:04,300 --> 01:10:06,540
I think I have that.
1289
01:10:06,620 --> 01:10:08,380
Uh, just--
1290
01:10:08,460 --> 01:10:09,660
- Not guilty, dude.
- Not guilty.
1291
01:10:09,740 --> 01:10:11,700
Not guilty, dude.
1292
01:10:12,860 --> 01:10:14,900
Very well.
1293
01:10:14,980 --> 01:10:17,780
Your court date will be set for...
1294
01:10:19,060 --> 01:10:21,660
three weeks from today...
1295
01:10:21,740 --> 01:10:23,060
dude.
1296
01:10:23,140 --> 01:10:24,620
Next.
1297
01:10:29,940 --> 01:10:32,540
Hey-- hey, don't worry.
1298
01:10:32,620 --> 01:10:34,180
I've done all the research.
1299
01:10:34,260 --> 01:10:38,380
I think I can convince
the judge to drop the charges.
1300
01:10:38,460 --> 01:10:40,820
See?
1301
01:10:40,900 --> 01:10:43,100
Karl, your shoes don't match.
1302
01:10:45,060 --> 01:10:46,780
Oh, fuck!
1303
01:10:46,860 --> 01:10:49,060
I hope the judge didn't notice.
1304
01:10:49,140 --> 01:10:50,980
Oh shit.
I've gotta get back to work.
1305
01:10:51,060 --> 01:10:52,660
Archibald's gonna be on my ass.
1306
01:10:52,740 --> 01:10:55,180
Uh, bye.
I'll see you later, Hogan.
1307
01:10:56,620 --> 01:10:59,420
Ah!
Ha-ha! Hee-hee!
1308
01:10:59,460 --> 01:11:01,460
Think he was
a wise choice for an attorney?
1309
01:11:01,540 --> 01:11:03,420
- He's a free choice.
- Yeah.
1310
01:11:03,500 --> 01:11:05,260
See, it won't close.
That's the problem.
1311
01:11:07,180 --> 01:11:09,340
- So how are you?
- Good.
1312
01:11:09,420 --> 01:11:13,540
Yeah, I'm moving in
with Amanda this weekend.
1313
01:11:13,620 --> 01:11:14,980
- Really?
- Yeah.
1314
01:11:15,060 --> 01:11:17,260
She's been really supportive.
1315
01:11:17,340 --> 01:11:18,740
- Wow.
- Yeah.
1316
01:11:19,740 --> 01:11:23,140
- Is that really what you want?
- I don't know, Hogan.
1317
01:11:23,220 --> 01:11:27,220
I need to go to law school
and get something going with my life.
1318
01:11:27,300 --> 01:11:29,420
- Yeah, well--
- Yeah.
1319
01:11:29,500 --> 01:11:31,540
Bye, Hogan.
1320
01:11:47,620 --> 01:11:48,860
Hey, Karl.
1321
01:11:48,940 --> 01:11:50,220
Hey.
1322
01:11:58,100 --> 01:12:00,060
Another one of those
in the freezer?
1323
01:12:00,140 --> 01:12:01,980
Yeah, the Salisbury steak,
it's all yours.
1324
01:12:02,060 --> 01:12:04,460
Nice distance.
1325
01:12:14,300 --> 01:12:18,180
So did the three-headed monster give you
any shit about taking a long lunch?
1326
01:12:18,260 --> 01:12:19,780
No.
1327
01:12:19,860 --> 01:12:21,700
There was other stuff going on.
1328
01:12:24,820 --> 01:12:26,740
What other stuff?
1329
01:12:26,820 --> 01:12:29,060
What, they know--
they know you're a member?
1330
01:12:29,140 --> 01:12:30,980
- No.
- What?
1331
01:12:31,060 --> 01:12:33,540
No way. They know about you
and Archibald's wife?
1332
01:12:33,620 --> 01:12:36,660
No, they know about you
and Conrad's wife.
1333
01:12:36,740 --> 01:12:38,060
- Shut up.
- Yeah.
1334
01:12:39,980 --> 01:12:42,140
Yeah, I heard him say
he's gonna divorce her,
1335
01:12:42,220 --> 01:12:44,700
and then he spent the rest
of the day trying to find out
1336
01:12:44,780 --> 01:12:46,860
if you owned a car.
1337
01:12:46,940 --> 01:12:48,220
And when he found out
you didn't,
1338
01:12:48,300 --> 01:12:50,500
he said it was a good thing,
'cause if you did, he'd find it,
1339
01:12:50,580 --> 01:12:52,580
plant a bomb in it,
and quote,
1340
01:12:52,660 --> 01:12:54,460
"blow you beyond
dental records."
1341
01:12:54,540 --> 01:12:56,260
He said that?
1342
01:12:56,340 --> 01:12:58,060
Uh-huh.
1343
01:12:58,140 --> 01:13:00,340
Well, that's a fucking bona fide
terrorist threat,
1344
01:13:00,420 --> 01:13:02,180
punishable by like, 25 years.
1345
01:13:02,260 --> 01:13:04,460
I don't know. I could look it up.
I don't know.
1346
01:13:04,540 --> 01:13:06,260
Think you could get him
to say it again?
1347
01:13:06,340 --> 01:13:07,900
I don't know.
1348
01:13:07,980 --> 01:13:10,940
No, I know you don't know, but if I sent
you in there with a body wire,
1349
01:13:11,020 --> 01:13:13,820
you could provoke him into
repeating it, couldn't you, Karl?
1350
01:13:13,860 --> 01:13:16,260
Oh God. I don't know.
I mean--
1351
01:13:16,340 --> 01:13:18,340
you know what?
Okay, I want to, but l--
1352
01:13:18,420 --> 01:13:20,100
Karl, don't help me, okay?
1353
01:13:20,180 --> 01:13:21,940
Fuck me,
this is about the club.
1354
01:13:22,020 --> 01:13:24,260
Where would you be without the club,
Karl? I'll tell you where you'd be:
1355
01:13:24,340 --> 01:13:26,260
You're be fucking files
Q through R.
1356
01:13:26,340 --> 01:13:27,820
Don't go back there.
1357
01:13:27,900 --> 01:13:30,100
The paper cuts haven't even
healed yet, have they?
1358
01:13:31,660 --> 01:13:33,860
No. Come on.
1359
01:13:33,940 --> 01:13:36,780
From the top rope, baby.
Top ropes.
1360
01:13:36,860 --> 01:13:37,900
Yes!
1361
01:13:37,980 --> 01:13:40,460
Come in!
1362
01:13:47,060 --> 01:13:49,980
Uh, hello, Mr. Stack.
1363
01:13:50,060 --> 01:13:53,140
Mr. Conrad, Mr. Archibald.
1364
01:13:53,220 --> 01:13:55,020
What do you want, douche bag?
1365
01:13:55,100 --> 01:13:57,100
May l...
1366
01:13:57,180 --> 01:13:59,780
you know...
1367
01:14:00,820 --> 01:14:03,220
How do you-- how do you do this?
I don't know.
1368
01:14:03,300 --> 01:14:05,260
Ah-- oh!
1369
01:14:05,340 --> 01:14:08,140
All right, there we go.
1370
01:14:08,220 --> 01:14:11,860
Hmm, um...
I just couldn't help but hear
1371
01:14:11,940 --> 01:14:14,300
your conversation yesterday about
1372
01:14:14,380 --> 01:14:16,900
Marshall Hogan and how he,
1373
01:14:16,980 --> 01:14:18,620
you know,
did stuff with your wife.
1374
01:14:18,700 --> 01:14:20,540
What did you say about my wife?
You don't understand!
1375
01:14:20,580 --> 01:14:22,580
Huh? I will rip your dick off
1376
01:14:22,660 --> 01:14:25,020
and shove it up your ass!
You hear me, you scrawny little bastard?
1377
01:14:25,100 --> 01:14:26,300
No, I'm on your side.
1378
01:14:26,380 --> 01:14:28,940
Let's hear what
the butt-licker has to say.
1379
01:14:34,780 --> 01:14:36,900
- Speak, Karl.
- Okay.
1380
01:14:36,980 --> 01:14:40,460
Well... I saw him this morning.
1381
01:14:40,540 --> 01:14:42,700
So I couldn't help but notice
that he had--
1382
01:14:42,780 --> 01:14:46,380
he was driving
this '91 convertible Camaro
1383
01:14:46,460 --> 01:14:49,780
that was red. And so I said,
you know, "Hey, nice car."
1384
01:14:49,860 --> 01:14:51,460
And he said, you know,
"Hell-- uh, thank you.
1385
01:14:51,540 --> 01:14:53,540
Yeah, it's brand new,
I just got it today."
1386
01:14:53,620 --> 01:14:57,220
So, on impulse,
I then took out my work pen--
1387
01:14:57,300 --> 01:14:59,380
which I brought back--
1388
01:14:59,460 --> 01:15:01,580
and I wrote down
his license plate number
1389
01:15:01,660 --> 01:15:04,060
while he was driving away,
because you said
1390
01:15:04,140 --> 01:15:08,540
that if he owned a car,
you would--
1391
01:15:08,620 --> 01:15:11,140
oh darn, what was it?
1392
01:15:11,220 --> 01:15:13,460
What-- what did you say?
I ca-- I can't remember.
1393
01:15:13,540 --> 01:15:16,540
I said I'd put a bomb in it
and blow him up beyond dental records.
1394
01:15:16,620 --> 01:15:18,940
Get to the fuckin' point, Karl!
1395
01:15:19,020 --> 01:15:22,420
I just thought you should know
that he owns a car now.
1396
01:15:22,500 --> 01:15:24,860
And that...
1397
01:15:24,900 --> 01:15:27,420
this is his...
1398
01:15:27,500 --> 01:15:30,660
Iicense plate number
and current address.
1399
01:15:30,740 --> 01:15:33,220
How nice of you, butt-licker.
1400
01:15:33,300 --> 01:15:35,580
- Way to look out for the team.
- Oh.
1401
01:15:35,660 --> 01:15:37,660
Oh, thank you, Mr. Stack.
1402
01:15:41,580 --> 01:15:43,860
- Yes.
- Hey, shit turd?
1403
01:15:43,940 --> 01:15:46,260
Why so forthcoming?
1404
01:15:46,340 --> 01:15:49,020
Uh-oh. Uh, well,
1405
01:15:49,100 --> 01:15:53,580
you know, my mom,
she used to cheat on my father
1406
01:15:53,660 --> 01:15:55,020
- constantly.
- Fucking slut.
1407
01:15:55,100 --> 01:15:57,580
No, she--
okay, all right, yeah.
1408
01:15:57,660 --> 01:15:59,820
She-- and I want, uh...
1409
01:15:59,900 --> 01:16:02,620
I don't want anyone to have to
suffer that kind of indignity,
1410
01:16:02,700 --> 01:16:06,980
be it you, Mr. Stack, or Mr. Conrad,
or for that matter,
1411
01:16:07,060 --> 01:16:09,460
Mr. Archibald.
So... ah!
1412
01:16:09,540 --> 01:16:12,300
Ah! Ow, oh!
1413
01:16:12,380 --> 01:16:14,380
Go fuck yourself, Karl!
1414
01:16:14,460 --> 01:16:15,740
Thank you.
1415
01:16:19,140 --> 01:16:21,020
That's lunch.
1416
01:16:21,100 --> 01:16:22,740
All-you-can-eat sushi,
strip bar.
1417
01:16:22,820 --> 01:16:23,940
In.
1418
01:16:26,580 --> 01:16:28,740
Thanks for letting us
use your car.
1419
01:16:28,820 --> 01:16:32,660
I promise, bomb squad'll reverse
anything before it explodes.
1420
01:16:32,740 --> 01:16:34,620
Oh, that's okay, baby.
1421
01:16:34,660 --> 01:16:37,180
I'm just glad
I could be of some help.
1422
01:16:37,260 --> 01:16:38,980
That's my Gladys.
1423
01:16:39,060 --> 01:16:41,100
It's good to see you.
1424
01:16:41,180 --> 01:16:42,820
You too, Marshall.
1425
01:16:44,940 --> 01:16:47,700
Now, no bombs have
been promised here, okay?
1426
01:16:47,780 --> 01:16:49,380
I just delivered
the information.
1427
01:16:49,460 --> 01:16:51,860
There's no guarantee
they're gonna use it at all.
1428
01:16:51,940 --> 01:16:55,740
I mean, the whole threat
can be a threat, and--
1429
01:16:55,780 --> 01:16:58,300
holy shit!
1430
01:16:58,380 --> 01:17:00,100
Fuck! They're here.
1431
01:17:00,180 --> 01:17:01,500
They're here. Fuck fuck!
1432
01:17:01,580 --> 01:17:04,060
Look at this, fuck!
Oh my fucking God.
1433
01:17:04,140 --> 01:17:06,620
My God. Oh my...
1434
01:17:06,700 --> 01:17:08,220
Look at that fucking-- look.
1435
01:17:08,300 --> 01:17:10,500
- Holy shit.
- Go go go.
1436
01:17:10,580 --> 01:17:14,660
Oh my God. I am gonna shit my pants.
1437
01:17:14,740 --> 01:17:16,300
Oh!
1438
01:17:16,380 --> 01:17:19,300
No, Lord! They meant it!
They actually meant it!
1439
01:17:19,380 --> 01:17:21,420
Shh! Of course they meant it.
1440
01:17:21,500 --> 01:17:24,260
You ever see what happens to people
in the divorce who aren't their clients?
1441
01:17:24,340 --> 01:17:26,540
- Now calm your shit down.
- There are two of them.
1442
01:17:26,620 --> 01:17:29,100
No no no, I think
that one's a monkey or something.
1443
01:17:29,180 --> 01:17:31,180
You think it's Mr. Stack
and Mr. Conrad?
1444
01:17:31,260 --> 01:17:33,700
- They might have hired people.
- Circus people.
1445
01:17:33,780 --> 01:17:35,980
Yeah.
1446
01:17:37,980 --> 01:17:40,780
Oh, they're highly organized.
1447
01:17:45,740 --> 01:17:47,300
Freeze, you little freak!
1448
01:17:47,380 --> 01:17:49,580
They got 'em.
1449
01:17:49,660 --> 01:17:51,940
You're going down!
1450
01:17:52,020 --> 01:17:54,300
I swear to God
I'll blow your brains out!
1451
01:17:56,460 --> 01:17:58,020
Ah!
1452
01:17:58,100 --> 01:18:00,460
Hey, don't move there!
1453
01:18:00,540 --> 01:18:02,500
I had no--
l-- I didn't call them.
1454
01:18:02,580 --> 01:18:05,620
Oh yeah, that's the baby.
1455
01:18:05,700 --> 01:18:08,260
- Don't do it!
- Down down down down down!
1456
01:18:08,340 --> 01:18:10,060
Gun down! Right now!
1457
01:18:17,700 --> 01:18:19,020
Shit!
1458
01:18:20,060 --> 01:18:21,540
Mommy.
1459
01:18:21,620 --> 01:18:24,540
- Down down down down down!
- Ah!
1460
01:18:26,100 --> 01:18:28,660
Down down down down down!
1461
01:18:37,060 --> 01:18:38,860
Spencey, will you get that?
1462
01:18:38,940 --> 01:18:41,140
I'm on the phone
with the wedding planner.
1463
01:18:42,860 --> 01:18:44,900
Hold on a second, Rita.
Spence?
1464
01:18:44,980 --> 01:18:47,100
I thought he didn't
have our address.
1465
01:18:47,180 --> 01:18:48,500
- Please, just--
- I want him gone.
1466
01:18:48,580 --> 01:18:49,660
- Okay.
- I mean it!
1467
01:18:49,740 --> 01:18:52,420
- Okay!
- Sorry. Mom gave me the address.
1468
01:18:52,500 --> 01:18:55,260
I... figured she would.
1469
01:18:55,340 --> 01:18:56,940
Hi.
1470
01:18:57,020 --> 01:18:58,460
Thanks. Oh.
1471
01:19:03,420 --> 01:19:06,060
- Really?
- Yeah.
1472
01:19:06,140 --> 01:19:09,020
She's thrilled.
It's really--
1473
01:19:09,100 --> 01:19:10,940
it's a dream come true.
1474
01:19:11,020 --> 01:19:13,660
- Well, congratulations, Spence.
- Thanks.
1475
01:19:13,740 --> 01:19:16,060
Red roses? No no, nobody said
anything about red roses.
1476
01:19:16,140 --> 01:19:18,820
I want perfect white calla lilies.
1477
01:19:18,900 --> 01:19:21,180
Write it down!
1478
01:19:21,260 --> 01:19:23,740
- And I'm going to law school.
- Really? That's great.
1479
01:19:23,820 --> 01:19:26,260
Yeah, Baker accepted me a while ago,
so I'm gonna go.
1480
01:19:26,340 --> 01:19:27,660
I mean, it's not Yale,
1481
01:19:27,740 --> 01:19:29,500
but hey, my dad understands
1482
01:19:29,580 --> 01:19:31,940
- and Amanda's all for it.
- Yeah.
1483
01:19:32,020 --> 01:19:35,220
Well, I'll get out of you two
lovebirds' hair in just a minute,
1484
01:19:35,300 --> 01:19:37,700
but l-- I just wanted
to see your face
1485
01:19:37,780 --> 01:19:39,540
when I showed you this.
1486
01:19:47,380 --> 01:19:49,060
No way.
1487
01:19:49,140 --> 01:19:51,140
And get--
1488
01:19:51,220 --> 01:19:54,100
get this--
they searched Conrad's desk.
1489
01:19:54,180 --> 01:19:56,300
They found one
of our Cougar Club folders.
1490
01:19:56,380 --> 01:19:59,180
Those bastards knew about
our extravaganza all along.
1491
01:19:59,260 --> 01:20:00,940
The whole thing was a setup.
1492
01:20:01,020 --> 01:20:02,740
Oh my gosh.
What does Karl say?
1493
01:20:02,820 --> 01:20:04,620
Well, in light
of what's happened,
1494
01:20:04,700 --> 01:20:06,460
he's arranged a little meeting
with Judge Emerson
1495
01:20:06,540 --> 01:20:09,420
to review our case.
And he wants to talk with us right now.
1496
01:20:12,060 --> 01:20:14,700
Everything's gonna be fine.
1497
01:20:14,780 --> 01:20:16,940
Hey, I'll call you back.
1498
01:20:17,020 --> 01:20:18,820
Hi. Hey.
1499
01:20:18,900 --> 01:20:20,380
- Hey.
- Where the hell are you going?
1500
01:20:20,460 --> 01:20:23,060
I... just gotta go meet my lawyer.
1501
01:20:23,140 --> 01:20:24,140
With him?
1502
01:20:24,220 --> 01:20:26,380
- Well, yeah.
- L...
1503
01:20:27,660 --> 01:20:30,180
Spence, I thought
we talked about this.
1504
01:20:30,260 --> 01:20:33,300
If you want to be married to me,
then no more Hogan--
1505
01:20:33,380 --> 01:20:34,540
permanently!
1506
01:20:34,620 --> 01:20:36,940
Fuck you, bitch.
1507
01:20:40,900 --> 01:20:42,780
Oh.
1508
01:20:42,820 --> 01:20:45,460
Mwah!
1509
01:20:45,540 --> 01:20:47,180
I'm sorry, Amanda.
1510
01:20:47,260 --> 01:20:49,860
I mean, l-- I never even
asked you to marry me.
1511
01:20:49,940 --> 01:20:51,940
Here.
1512
01:20:53,900 --> 01:20:56,340
Wait.
1513
01:20:56,420 --> 01:20:59,820
But wait, Spence, but--
you complete me!
1514
01:20:59,900 --> 01:21:02,180
- God, I almost did that, didn't l?
- Yeah.
1515
01:21:02,260 --> 01:21:05,340
Shake it off, brother. The bullet
to the forehead's been dodged.
1516
01:21:05,420 --> 01:21:09,060
Spence! Come back! Ahh!
1517
01:21:09,140 --> 01:21:11,540
So what's the deal
with this judge?
1518
01:21:11,620 --> 01:21:14,780
Margaret Emerson.
You saw her at the plea hearing.
1519
01:21:14,860 --> 01:21:17,500
She's a nasty one,
real ball-breaker type.
1520
01:21:17,580 --> 01:21:22,060
But when she heard about
the recent arrest at the law firm,
1521
01:21:22,140 --> 01:21:24,300
the almost-certain setup
at the hotel,
1522
01:21:24,380 --> 01:21:26,180
she seemed intrigued.
1523
01:21:26,260 --> 01:21:27,740
Oh.
1524
01:21:27,820 --> 01:21:29,380
Oh shit.
1525
01:21:29,460 --> 01:21:31,580
Excuse me, I've gotta--
1526
01:21:31,660 --> 01:21:34,540
um, you know what?
If she comes in,
1527
01:21:34,620 --> 01:21:37,620
just tell her I'll be right back, okay?
1528
01:21:39,900 --> 01:21:41,700
Karl, man.
1529
01:21:41,780 --> 01:21:44,020
That's coming
from your anal cavity.
1530
01:21:44,100 --> 01:21:46,180
Just take an orange pill,
it's in the briefcase.
1531
01:21:46,260 --> 01:21:49,380
No, that's okay.
It's gonna be the last time.
1532
01:22:01,220 --> 01:22:04,900
Spencer Holmes
and Marshall Hogan lll.
1533
01:22:04,980 --> 01:22:07,300
- Yes, ma'am.
- Yes, ma'am.
1534
01:22:09,260 --> 01:22:11,100
Sit down.
1535
01:22:30,380 --> 01:22:32,220
So...
1536
01:22:32,300 --> 01:22:35,340
I'm supposed to believe
that you two punks
1537
01:22:35,420 --> 01:22:37,060
started a club
1538
01:22:37,140 --> 01:22:41,540
so you could hook up
with old broads like me.
1539
01:22:41,620 --> 01:22:44,100
Well, are there really
any other broads to hook up with?
1540
01:22:45,980 --> 01:22:49,540
Your Honor?
May I call you Margaret?
1541
01:22:49,620 --> 01:22:52,740
Margaret, I'm looking
at you right now
1542
01:22:52,820 --> 01:22:54,820
and all I want to do
1543
01:22:54,900 --> 01:22:57,420
is just jump over this table
1544
01:22:57,500 --> 01:23:00,100
and go to town.
I mean, you are a goddess,
1545
01:23:00,180 --> 01:23:02,140
and I'm sorry if I'm, like,
overstepping the bounds
1546
01:23:02,220 --> 01:23:03,500
of polite society here,
1547
01:23:03,580 --> 01:23:06,460
but I would make love to you
all day and all night,
1548
01:23:06,540 --> 01:23:09,340
until you screamed
with an unbearable ecstasy
1549
01:23:09,420 --> 01:23:11,020
- like you've never felt before.
- And we, we--
1550
01:23:11,100 --> 01:23:13,060
we want to be very clear.
In no way did we ever
1551
01:23:13,140 --> 01:23:15,580
exchange money
for sex in our organization.
1552
01:23:15,660 --> 01:23:19,180
We charged membership fees.
No different than, uh, meetmart.net
1553
01:23:19,260 --> 01:23:21,380
or Christdate.net for that matter.
1554
01:23:21,460 --> 01:23:23,820
It's just that our target
was a little more specific,
1555
01:23:23,900 --> 01:23:25,140
- one could say.
- Margaret,
1556
01:23:25,220 --> 01:23:26,580
I'm gonna venture a guess here.
1557
01:23:26,660 --> 01:23:29,060
If I were to come around this table
and gently caress
1558
01:23:29,140 --> 01:23:31,980
the back of your neck
with my tongue...
1559
01:23:33,300 --> 01:23:35,740
a slight chill would
run down your spine?
1560
01:23:35,820 --> 01:23:37,780
Might.
1561
01:23:37,860 --> 01:23:39,740
Wow. Ma'am,
this is no pimp operation.
1562
01:23:39,820 --> 01:23:41,380
- No ma'am, no ma'am.
- We assure you, it's--
1563
01:23:41,460 --> 01:23:44,020
No ma'am, we're bona fide businessmen
with a goal to expand our website
1564
01:23:44,100 --> 01:23:46,420
which-- yes, we have a website now.
1565
01:23:46,500 --> 01:23:48,260
Eventually we plan
to have a magazine
1566
01:23:48,340 --> 01:23:49,860
and then we'll tour
around the country,
1567
01:23:49,940 --> 01:23:52,140
branching out to all
the major metropolitan areas,
1568
01:23:52,220 --> 01:23:54,220
all so that we can
become acquainted
1569
01:23:54,300 --> 01:23:55,900
with women such as yourself.
1570
01:23:55,980 --> 01:23:58,460
So sublime, so lush,
1571
01:23:58,540 --> 01:24:00,860
- seasoned, exquisite.
- Really?
1572
01:24:00,940 --> 01:24:02,060
Yeah.
1573
01:24:02,140 --> 01:24:04,500
What about your partner?
Does he feel the same way?
1574
01:24:04,580 --> 01:24:06,300
This guy?
1575
01:24:06,380 --> 01:24:08,420
This guy. Oh my God.
And then some.
1576
01:24:08,500 --> 01:24:10,900
Yeah. Ha.
1577
01:24:10,980 --> 01:24:13,100
Prove it.
1578
01:24:14,500 --> 01:24:16,540
What-- oh.
1579
01:24:34,140 --> 01:24:36,060
You drink whiskey
1580
01:24:36,140 --> 01:24:39,340
But I drink wine
1581
01:24:41,580 --> 01:24:45,700
You wear the watch,
but I keep the time
1582
01:24:49,820 --> 01:24:52,420
You're so delicious
1583
01:24:52,500 --> 01:24:56,460
But I'm tasty, yeah
1584
01:24:58,220 --> 01:25:01,060
You may be fine
1585
01:25:01,140 --> 01:25:05,820
But I'm sexy, baby
1586
01:25:05,900 --> 01:25:10,740
You may be fine,
but I'm sexy
1587
01:25:10,820 --> 01:25:15,220
You may be cute, but I'm sexy
1588
01:25:15,300 --> 01:25:18,980
You may be pretty,
but I'm sexy
1589
01:25:19,060 --> 01:25:22,740
But I'm sexy,
but I'm...
1590
01:25:22,820 --> 01:25:27,300
You may be fine,
but I'm sexy
1591
01:25:27,380 --> 01:25:28,420
You may be cute...
1592
01:25:28,500 --> 01:25:30,100
Congratulations, Karl.
1593
01:25:30,180 --> 01:25:32,900
A few more cases, you can actually
get a car from the 21st century.
1594
01:25:32,980 --> 01:25:34,780
Yeah!
And a new bike.
1595
01:25:34,860 --> 01:25:36,180
- Stop the car, stop the car.
- What?
1596
01:25:36,260 --> 01:25:37,860
- Why? Why?
- Hmm?
1597
01:25:37,940 --> 01:25:41,140
- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.
1598
01:25:43,180 --> 01:25:45,700
- I'm not gonna waste gas.
- Just give me one second.
1599
01:25:45,780 --> 01:25:47,540
- Okay.
- Let us dream.
1600
01:25:48,540 --> 01:25:50,060
Hey.
1601
01:25:53,940 --> 01:25:56,100
I'm sorry that I haven't
returned your phone calls.
1602
01:25:56,180 --> 01:25:58,620
I-- I've just been swamped
1603
01:25:58,700 --> 01:26:00,740
with getting my real estate license.
1604
01:26:00,820 --> 01:26:04,100
It's great to see you.
I didn't know if I ever would again.
1605
01:26:04,180 --> 01:26:05,900
I'm glad you're okay.
1606
01:26:05,980 --> 01:26:07,820
Yeah yeah.
1607
01:26:07,900 --> 01:26:11,420
We're having a party
Saturday night, if you're interested.
1608
01:26:11,500 --> 01:26:14,580
It's at 8:00. I'd love to see you.
1609
01:26:16,100 --> 01:26:17,500
Yeah.
1610
01:26:17,580 --> 01:26:19,460
Sounds good.
1611
01:26:19,540 --> 01:26:21,060
Good.
1612
01:26:21,140 --> 01:26:22,980
Maybe.
1613
01:26:24,740 --> 01:26:26,420
Okay, bye.
1614
01:26:37,980 --> 01:26:39,340
Let's go...
1615
01:26:41,420 --> 01:26:43,900
Whoa!
1616
01:26:43,980 --> 01:26:46,180
Here we go, here we go.
1617
01:26:48,820 --> 01:26:50,660
- Whoa.
- Nice nice.
1618
01:26:50,740 --> 01:26:53,660
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Ho.
1619
01:26:53,740 --> 01:26:57,020
To Stack, Conrad
and Archibald.
1620
01:26:57,100 --> 01:26:59,380
Cheers!
1621
01:26:59,460 --> 01:27:01,060
Bastards.
1622
01:27:02,060 --> 01:27:04,620
- To Cougar Club!
- Cheers!
1623
01:27:04,700 --> 01:27:06,300
- Oh!
- Whoo!
1624
01:27:06,380 --> 01:27:08,100
- Cougar Club!
- Damn it, Karl.
1625
01:27:10,380 --> 01:27:12,500
I'm feeling it. Mmm!
1626
01:27:15,940 --> 01:27:17,540
Take a look around.
1627
01:27:17,620 --> 01:27:21,220
This is what can happen
when you dare to say yes.
1628
01:27:22,340 --> 01:27:24,300
Couldn't have done it
without you.
1629
01:27:26,260 --> 01:27:29,020
True, man. There's so many
ways to say yes.
1630
01:27:29,100 --> 01:27:32,140
Yeah, uh-huh, yep,
1631
01:27:32,220 --> 01:27:34,380
all right, okay, sure.
1632
01:27:34,460 --> 01:27:35,900
It's not even
like foreign languages.
1633
01:27:35,980 --> 01:27:36,980
Hey, Karl. Drink up.
1634
01:27:37,060 --> 01:27:38,620
Thanks, buddy.
1635
01:27:41,660 --> 01:27:44,540
I can't believe it.
She's here.
1636
01:27:47,140 --> 01:27:49,060
- Go go go.
- I'll be right back.
1637
01:27:49,140 --> 01:27:52,020
Let's go,
let's go dancing
1638
01:27:52,100 --> 01:27:54,300
Let's go running...
1639
01:27:54,380 --> 01:27:57,300
I am so happy
that you're here.
1640
01:27:57,380 --> 01:27:59,380
I wouldn't have missed it.
1641
01:27:59,460 --> 01:28:01,860
Let's go dancing
1642
01:28:01,940 --> 01:28:04,420
Let's go running
1643
01:28:04,500 --> 01:28:07,500
Let's go
1644
01:28:07,580 --> 01:28:10,780
- Whoa!
- Cougar Club!
1645
01:28:13,780 --> 01:28:17,620
Oh my boys,
I'm so proud of both of you.
1646
01:28:17,700 --> 01:28:20,260
This is what
you've worked so hard for,
1647
01:28:20,340 --> 01:28:22,380
and I know it's what
you've always wanted.
1648
01:28:22,460 --> 01:28:24,340
- Oh.
- Oh, thanks, Mom.
1649
01:28:24,420 --> 01:28:28,100
- Thanks, Mom.
- Good luck, boys.
1650
01:28:28,180 --> 01:28:30,220
Eh, now you're men.
1651
01:28:30,300 --> 01:28:31,780
Go and be wise.
1652
01:28:31,860 --> 01:28:33,340
- Yeah.
- Thanks, Dad.
1653
01:28:35,340 --> 01:28:37,660
Not again.
Honey, where are the orange pills?
1654
01:28:37,740 --> 01:28:39,140
- Uh, kitchen.
- Sorry.
1655
01:28:40,140 --> 01:28:42,220
Go sow your seed!
1656
01:28:42,300 --> 01:28:43,980
- Thanks, Dad.
- All right.
1657
01:28:44,060 --> 01:28:45,820
- Cookies.
- Oh.
1658
01:28:45,900 --> 01:28:48,780
Mom, just how I like 'em.
1659
01:28:50,780 --> 01:28:52,620
All right.
1660
01:28:52,700 --> 01:28:54,500
Bye, Mom.
1661
01:28:54,580 --> 01:28:55,860
Bye.
1662
01:29:00,420 --> 01:29:01,900
Yeah!
1663
01:29:05,020 --> 01:29:07,420
She's ready to roll, boys.
1664
01:29:07,500 --> 01:29:09,060
- I love you boys!
- Later, Mom.
1665
01:29:09,140 --> 01:29:10,740
Bye!
1666
01:29:10,820 --> 01:29:11,820
Be careful!
1667
01:29:11,900 --> 01:29:13,820
Liberate me
1668
01:29:13,900 --> 01:29:16,500
- Liberate me...
- Mm-hmm!
1669
01:29:16,580 --> 01:29:21,500
Liberate me, liberate me...
1670
01:29:21,580 --> 01:29:23,060
Bye, Mom!
1671
01:29:23,140 --> 01:29:26,860
Around the sun
1672
01:29:26,940 --> 01:29:29,380
On the run
1673
01:29:29,460 --> 01:29:31,060
Nothing can stop me...
1674
01:29:31,140 --> 01:29:33,340
Adios, amigos!
1675
01:29:33,420 --> 01:29:34,500
From having my fun
1676
01:29:34,580 --> 01:29:37,100
Liberate me
1677
01:29:37,180 --> 01:29:42,420
Liberate me, liberate me
1678
01:29:42,500 --> 01:29:44,860
Liberate me
1679
01:29:45,860 --> 01:29:50,300
Liberate me,
liberate me.
1680
01:29:52,100 --> 01:29:54,980
Mom and Dad are home
and they're with Barry Stack.
1681
01:29:55,060 --> 01:29:56,020
- Fuck!
- Fuck!
1682
01:29:56,100 --> 01:29:57,660
Fuck!
1683
01:31:07,020 --> 01:31:08,860
Ah!
1684
01:31:10,380 --> 01:31:11,660
Ooh.
1685
01:31:15,780 --> 01:31:17,820
- Uh...
- Sorry!
1686
01:31:18,860 --> 01:31:19,060
Liberate me,
liberate me
1687
01:31:26,100 --> 01:31:29,140
Around the sun
1688
01:31:29,220 --> 01:31:31,580
On the run
1689
01:31:31,660 --> 01:31:34,500
Nothing can stop me
1690
01:31:34,580 --> 01:31:37,100
From having my fun
1691
01:31:37,180 --> 01:31:41,420
Liberate me, liberate me
1692
01:31:42,580 --> 01:31:46,820
Liberate me,
liberate me
1693
01:31:48,300 --> 01:31:52,500
Liberate me, liberate me.
1694
01:33:29,220 --> 01:33:31,180
Ah!
1695
01:33:31,260 --> 01:33:34,020
Mmm. Nuh-uh.
114698