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[GRAND ORCHESTRAL FANFARE PLAYING]
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[GENTLE MELODY PLAYING]
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[♪♪♪]
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TIM:Time is a funny thing.
5
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- When I was a kid...
- YOUNG TIM: One.
6
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- ...the days lasted forever.
- Two.
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- Hide, hide, hide!
- Three.
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- TIM:But the years...
- Wait! Over here.
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- ...well, they went by so fast.
- Four.
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- Five. Six.
- Tim, no peeking.
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TED SR.: Yeah, no peeking.
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- TIM:Before you know it...
- Seven.
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- ...you're all grown-up.
- Eight.
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- It even happened to me.
- Nine.
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Nine and a half. Ten!
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Ready or not, here I come.
[GRUNTS]
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My name's Tim, and this...
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well, this is the rest of my story.
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- [ROARS PLAYFULLY]
- Run for your lives!
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[LAUGHING]
No fair, Dad. You peeked.
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[LAUGHTER, SQUEALING]
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- They call me a stay-at-home dad, which means...
- Let's go!
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...I hardly get to stay at home.
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Buckle up, Templetons.
25
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Ready?
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- Set.
- Go!
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[ENGINE ROARS, TIRES SQUEAL]
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TIM:Now, some might say
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I still have an overactive imagination,
30
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but being a dad is
the coolest job in the world.
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Bunch of cool jobs, really.
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[LAUGHING]
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Sometimes I'm a race car driver.
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CAROL: Whoo! Daddy-o Andretti!
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TABITHA: Yay, Templetons!
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[SOUTHERN ACCENT]TIM:Well, and then sometimes
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I'm the best darn cook in the county
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and I deal out every meal.
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- Come on, Pa, hit me.
- [BURPS]
40
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- [CHUCKLES] Tina.
- [TINA LAUGHS]
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Whew, doggie!
And the house wins again.
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- [THUNDER CRASHES]CAROL: Yay!
- TABITHA: Woo-hoo!
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[SPOOKY VOICE]TIM:Or a surgeon, if need be. [CHUCKLES]
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- Spork.
- Spork.
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- Spatula.
- Spatula.
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Give my creature life!
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- [GROWLING]
- [CAROL AND TABITHA GASP]
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She's alive!
49
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TIM:We have our ups,
and we have our downs.
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- [WHIMPERS]
- No, no, no. Look. Look.
51
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- Lamb Lamb's okay. See?
- Yay!
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TIM:But we always stick together.
53
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- My wife, Carol.
- It's a miracle!
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TIM:She's the breadwinner of the family.
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[APPLAUSE] Thank you.
You know what they say:
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- "It's all about the dough."
- [LAUGHTER]
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And I couldn't have done it
without my husband.
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He really rose to the occasion.
59
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- It's the yeast I can do.
- [CHEERING] Yeah, Mama!
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TIM:She brings home the bacon, too,
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while I keep an eye
on our new baby, Tina.
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[CHUCKLES]
But sometimes, feels like
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she's keeping an eye on me.
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- And Tabitha...
- Thank you!
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...our little second-grader
who just got accepted
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- into the best school in town.
- [LAUGHTER]
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Yay, Tabitha!
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TIM:We're so proud.
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00:03:06,762 --> 00:03:08,407
I still keep in touch
with the old gang, too.
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00:03:08,431 --> 00:03:09,932
Believe it or not, Jimbo is mayor now.
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- BOTH: Cookie!
- Of course, his wife, Staci,
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is the real brains behind the operation.
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- MAN: Yo, Jimbo!
- Now, the Triplets...
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- ♪ Busted... ♪
- ♪ Busted... ♪
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- ♪ Busted. ♪
- [SIRENS WAILING]
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TIM:Yeah, they haven't changed much.
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And as for my baby brother, Ted,
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well, he grew up
to be the boss, all right.
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- He's so busy we hardly see him anymore.
- [TOY SQUEAKING]
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00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,552
- [PHONE RINGS]
- But, hey, he always remembers
81
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to send inappropriately lavish gifts
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- on special occasions.
- [TABITHA SQUEALS]
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- OMG! Uncle Ted is the best!
- [NEIGHING]
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- [CLATTERS]
- [TIM GASPS]
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[SIGHS]
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TIM:All in all,
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my life is pretty perfect.
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[INSECTS TRILLING, BIRDS CHIRPING]
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But all that was about to change.
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[YELPS, GASPS]
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Good heavens.
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I'll save you!
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- Ha!
- [TINA SCREAMS, LAUGHS]
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Thanks, babe.
95
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Stay calm, Tabitha.
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I'm coming for you.
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I'm gonna save you from the bubbling lava!
98
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Dad, what are you doing?
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Ew, gross. It went everywhere.
100
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Come on, this is the candy volcano of doom!
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You used to love it.
[MIMICS EXPLOSION]
102
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But I'm trying to do my homework,
103
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or I'm doomed.
104
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Oh.
105
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Because if there's
one thing I've learned,
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you're only a kid once.
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Once you grow up,
you can never go back.
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[BABBLING]
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Ee...!
110
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[GRUNTS]
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[GASPS]
Oh, no.
112
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Good night, Dr. Hawking.
113
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Carbon, boron, beryllium,
lithium, helium, hydrogen.
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Nailed it.
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Boom shakalaka.
116
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[LAUGHS]
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"Carry the four."
[CHUCKLES] Gosh.
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- TIM: Hey there, Tabitha.
- [CAROL WHOOPS, TINA LAUGHS]
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It's The Good Night Show.
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Live from your bedroom,
starring Dad and Mom.
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- And special guest, baby Tina.
- [LAUGHING]
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Good night, little Tina. Mwah!
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Come back here, you.
[CHUCKLES]
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- Good night, Mom.
- Mwah!
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Good night, sweetheart.
Mama's gonna kiss you.
126
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- Mama gonna kiss you.
- [TIM CLEARS THROAT]
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♪ Good night song ♪
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- ♪ With your dad... ♪
- What?
129
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What? It's time for your good-night song.
130
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Oh, no, thanks.
131
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I'm listening to white noise!
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Helps me fall asleep!
133
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[MIMICKING WHITE NOISE]
134
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Hey, what would you say
135
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to me helping you rehearse
for the holiday pageant?
136
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- [GASPS]
- Yes! Right?
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I can come to school with you,
and you can get
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all your friends together,
and we can rehearse together,
139
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go get some ice cream after.
140
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- My treat.
- No! You can't do that.
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Um, liability issues.
142
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It's this whole thing.
143
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Oh. Right, right.
[CHUCKLES]
144
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Right.
145
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Whoa. How about your favorite bedtime story?
146
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You know, the one about...
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Uncle Ted was a magical talking baby.
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There was a rocket full of puppies,
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- and you saved the world.
- [SHUSHING]
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It was a good story, wasn't it?
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Well, it didn't really make
a lot of sense.
152
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The jokes were good, right?
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Mm.
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- Okay. Um...
- Dad.
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[YAWNS]
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My schedule is brutal tomorrow.
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[GRUNTING] Yeah.
My schedule's pretty brutal, too.
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Oh, don't forget Lamb Lamb.
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Good night, Lamb Lamb.
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[KISSES]
Good night, Uncle Ted.
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I hope to grow up and be
a success, just like you.
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Maybe we'll see you soon.
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Good night, Tabitha.
164
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Don't you think I'm a little old for that now?
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Uh, okay.
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I think it's time we both grow up.
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I look forward to greeting you
at the breakfast table.
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Sweet dreams.
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Hmm.
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[♪♪♪]
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Where has the time gone?
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WIZZIE: How should I know?
[GRUNTS]
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- Wait, wait. I see light.
- [TOY TRAIN TOOTING]
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You, oh, out of my way.
[YELLS]
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[GASPS]
At long last.
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The sweet breath of freedom.
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Wizzie?
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00:07:37,867 --> 00:07:39,535
You there, what century is this?
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[SHUDDERS]
Unhand me, vile ogre!
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No, no, no, no.
Wizzie, it's me.
181
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- It's Tim.
- [GASPS]
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Is it really you?
183
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Come closer.
184
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Let me see your face.
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Closer.
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Closer still.
187
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Oh, Timothy.
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It is you.
189
00:07:57,595 --> 00:07:59,263
Hey! What was that for?
190
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You cast me into eternal darkness
191
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:04,393
and wreaked havoc on my circadian rhythms.
192
00:08:04,435 --> 00:08:05,728
I'm sorry, Wizzie.
193
00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:07,396
Hey, but you look great, though.
194
00:08:07,438 --> 00:08:09,607
Except for the arm, you mean.
195
00:08:09,648 --> 00:08:10,900
[CHUCKLES]
I didn't even notice.
196
00:08:10,941 --> 00:08:12,335
- You thought it.
- I mean, I noticed it,
197
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:13,962
'cause I... you obviously
don't have an arm. I-I...
198
00:08:13,986 --> 00:08:15,863
You would never treat
Lamb Lamb this way.
199
00:08:15,905 --> 00:08:18,657
Well, I... I gave her
to my daughter, Tabitha.
200
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,451
You have produced an heir, Timothy?
201
00:08:20,493 --> 00:08:21,786
Two, actually.
202
00:08:21,827 --> 00:08:23,329
Two? Let the bells ring!
203
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:24,705
[BELLS JINGLING, ALARMS BLARING]
204
00:08:24,747 --> 00:08:26,373
- No, no, no. Wizzie, stop.
- Yes! Yes!
205
00:08:26,415 --> 00:08:28,268
- Wizzie, shh! Quiet, quiet.
- It's a time for celebration!
206
00:08:28,292 --> 00:08:30,252
No, no, no.
It's not the time for celebration.
207
00:08:30,294 --> 00:08:31,980
- Wizzie, shh. Be quiet.
- What? What is it?
208
00:08:32,004 --> 00:08:33,881
- What is it, Tim?
- I don't know.
209
00:08:33,923 --> 00:08:35,723
- [ALARMS STOP]
- I guess I'm just not feeling
210
00:08:35,758 --> 00:08:37,843
very celebratory right now.
211
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,762
Oh?
212
00:08:39,804 --> 00:08:41,597
Tabitha.
[SIGHS]
213
00:08:41,639 --> 00:08:45,768
Man, Wizzie,
she's growing up so fast.
214
00:08:45,810 --> 00:08:47,812
It's like she doesn't even need me anymore.
215
00:08:47,853 --> 00:08:51,398
Yes, first, they start
spending less time with you.
216
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:52,858
TIM: Mm.
217
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,069
Then they stop coming to you for advice.
218
00:08:55,111 --> 00:08:56,070
Exactly.
219
00:08:56,112 --> 00:08:58,197
Soon, they take you for granted.
220
00:08:58,239 --> 00:08:59,615
I guess.
221
00:08:59,657 --> 00:09:01,575
- Then break your arm.
- What?
222
00:09:01,617 --> 00:09:03,160
Then stuff you into a box!
223
00:09:03,202 --> 00:09:05,121
Okay. Wizzie, you're...
you're not helping.
224
00:09:05,162 --> 00:09:06,414
[WIZZIE SCOFFS]
225
00:09:06,455 --> 00:09:07,790
Okay, I'm just... I'm afraid
226
00:09:07,832 --> 00:09:09,875
Tabitha and I are growing apart,
227
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:12,962
like... like I did with my brother.
228
00:09:13,003 --> 00:09:14,672
Oh.
229
00:09:14,713 --> 00:09:17,758
I thought we had all the time in the world.
230
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,469
But you can't turn back time, can you?
231
00:09:20,511 --> 00:09:23,097
How dare you question my power!
232
00:09:23,139 --> 00:09:26,517
- Turn back. Turn back.
- Oh, here we go.
233
00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:29,145
- Oh, great wheel of li...
- Wait. [SHUSHES]
234
00:09:29,186 --> 00:09:30,980
- [WIZZIE SNORING]
- Did you hear that?
235
00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:33,983
[GASPS]
Never abuse the snooze button!
236
00:09:34,024 --> 00:09:36,086
[SHUSHES] It sounds like it's
coming from the baby's room.
237
00:09:36,110 --> 00:09:38,070
What is it?
A creature of the night?
238
00:09:38,112 --> 00:09:41,157
Witches? Is it the baying
of the hounds of hell?
239
00:09:41,198 --> 00:09:42,491
Wizzie!
240
00:09:42,533 --> 00:09:43,659
Don't go, Tim!
241
00:09:43,701 --> 00:09:45,244
I can turn back time--
242
00:09:45,286 --> 00:09:48,831
to the golden years,
when it was just you and me.
243
00:09:48,873 --> 00:09:50,499
My good arm.
244
00:09:50,541 --> 00:09:52,251
Don't open the door.
245
00:09:52,293 --> 00:09:54,170
[FADING IN DISTANCE]
Remember last time!
246
00:09:54,211 --> 00:09:56,714
[MUFFLED VOICE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
247
00:09:57,882 --> 00:09:59,884
[AUTOMATED VOICE]
If you would like to make a call,
248
00:09:59,925 --> 00:10:01,385
please hang up and try again.
249
00:10:01,427 --> 00:10:05,556
If you need help, hang up
and then dial your operator.
250
00:10:05,598 --> 00:10:07,349
Thank you.
251
00:10:07,391 --> 00:10:08,517
[WHISPERS]
Hello?
252
00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:10,102
If you would like to make a call,
253
00:10:10,144 --> 00:10:12,772
- please hang up and try again.
- Ah. Just my phone.
254
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,899
Get it together, man.
255
00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:17,234
Oh, Tina, you little klepto...
256
00:10:17,276 --> 00:10:19,320
Nighty night.
257
00:10:19,361 --> 00:10:20,529
...maniac!
258
00:10:20,571 --> 00:10:23,032
[RAPID BABBLING]
259
00:10:23,073 --> 00:10:24,200
Whoa!
260
00:10:24,241 --> 00:10:26,952
Hi, Daddy.
261
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:29,038
T-Tabitha? Is that you?
262
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:30,289
[LAUGHING]
263
00:10:30,331 --> 00:10:31,707
[GASPS]
264
00:10:31,749 --> 00:10:33,751
[LAUGHING]
You should've seen your face.
265
00:10:33,793 --> 00:10:35,628
Oh, it's priceless.
266
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,129
You're... You... You-you...
267
00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:39,548
[MOCK GASPING]
268
00:10:39,590 --> 00:10:41,050
You-you can talk?
269
00:10:41,092 --> 00:10:43,219
Yep.
I'm in the family business.
270
00:10:43,260 --> 00:10:45,888
[WHISPERS]
It's a clip-on tie. [SHUSHES]
271
00:10:45,930 --> 00:10:48,182
You see, Daddy,
BabyCorp is more of what I...
272
00:10:48,224 --> 00:10:49,850
Oops.
273
00:10:49,892 --> 00:10:52,228
Daddy, Daddy, come in.
Can you hear me?
274
00:10:52,269 --> 00:10:53,869
- Daddy, do you read me?
- [TIM GROANING]
275
00:10:53,896 --> 00:10:55,564
Daddy, how many fingers am I holding up?
276
00:10:55,606 --> 00:10:56,774
Thursday?
277
00:10:56,816 --> 00:10:58,085
I should've given you a warning.
278
00:10:58,109 --> 00:10:59,610
I forgot you were an old man.
279
00:10:59,652 --> 00:11:01,112
[YELLS, SPITS]
280
00:11:01,153 --> 00:11:02,113
Wait, wait.
281
00:11:02,154 --> 00:11:03,989
- You're from BabyCorp?
- Yes.
282
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,991
BabyCorp is more of what I call
283
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,827
- a side hustle for me.
- Uh-huh.
284
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,912
The point is I'm all in on the Templetons.
285
00:11:09,954 --> 00:11:11,414
- Go, Templetons!
- Oh! Okay.
286
00:11:11,455 --> 00:11:13,249
You guys really know how to baby a baby.
287
00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:14,851
- I mean, it's incredible.
- Oh, oh. [CHUCKLES]
288
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,419
Not that's it's all five-star.
289
00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:18,438
- I have to say, you got a lot of issues.
- Sure. Yeah.
290
00:11:18,462 --> 00:11:19,630
We'll talk about that later.
291
00:11:19,672 --> 00:11:21,048
Oh, my gosh.
I can't believe this.
292
00:11:21,090 --> 00:11:23,217
Hey, want to go scare the crap out of Mom?
293
00:11:23,259 --> 00:11:25,177
- Daddy, please stay focused.
- [CHUCKLES] Oh.
294
00:11:25,219 --> 00:11:26,720
[GRUNTS]
Right, right, right.
295
00:11:26,762 --> 00:11:28,431
There's a crisis at BabyCorp.
296
00:11:28,472 --> 00:11:29,557
What is it this time?
297
00:11:29,598 --> 00:11:30,599
[GASPS]
Kittens?
298
00:11:30,641 --> 00:11:32,726
No. This time, it's even worse.
299
00:11:32,768 --> 00:11:33,978
- Worse than kittens?
- Yes.
300
00:11:34,019 --> 00:11:35,771
That's why I volunteered for
301
00:11:35,813 --> 00:11:37,648
- this supersecret assignment.
- TOY: Mommy.
302
00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:39,584
Ooh, I want to help.
What-what do you want me to do?
303
00:11:39,608 --> 00:11:41,110
That's the spirit, Daddy.
304
00:11:41,152 --> 00:11:43,946
- You are exactly who I need.
- Yes!
305
00:11:43,988 --> 00:11:45,739
To get Uncle Ted.
306
00:11:45,781 --> 00:11:47,450
No. What?
307
00:11:47,491 --> 00:11:48,951
What-What's with the face?
308
00:11:48,993 --> 00:11:51,454
Daddy, BabyCorp can't wait any longer.
309
00:11:51,495 --> 00:11:52,747
All the pressure's on me, Pop.
310
00:11:52,788 --> 00:11:54,957
When I volunteered for this gig,
311
00:11:54,999 --> 00:11:56,876
I thought it would be easy.
312
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,461
But you two never see each other.
313
00:11:58,502 --> 00:12:00,045
It's so sad.
314
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:02,256
It's like, "F-minus.
See me after class."
315
00:12:02,298 --> 00:12:03,466
[GARGLES]
316
00:12:03,507 --> 00:12:04,800
Sad? Uh, yeah, maybe.
317
00:12:04,842 --> 00:12:06,010
A little. I don't know.
318
00:12:06,051 --> 00:12:07,428
Did you forget to call him?
319
00:12:07,470 --> 00:12:09,346
I noticed you can be a little absentminded.
320
00:12:09,388 --> 00:12:10,723
Sorry, what?
321
00:12:10,765 --> 00:12:12,475
It's just that you tend to procrastinate.
322
00:12:12,516 --> 00:12:14,661
You have to get him here for the holidays.
[LINE RINGING]
323
00:12:14,685 --> 00:12:15,954
- No, I'm not...
- [RINGING STOPS]
324
00:12:15,978 --> 00:12:17,372
No, I'm not gonna call him right now.
325
00:12:17,396 --> 00:12:18,832
- Daddy, can't never could.
- No. [LINE RINGING]
326
00:12:18,856 --> 00:12:20,208
Did you two have a fight or something?
327
00:12:20,232 --> 00:12:21,984
- No.
- But you're mad at him?
328
00:12:22,026 --> 00:12:24,278
- Stop that. It's complicated.
- [RINGING STOPS]
329
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,423
Why? Do you need help using your phone?
[LINE RINGING]
330
00:12:26,447 --> 00:12:28,175
No, I don't need help using my...
[RINGING STOPS]
331
00:12:28,199 --> 00:12:29,718
- Okay. What's the problem? [SIGHS]
- [LINE RINGING]
332
00:12:29,742 --> 00:12:31,202
What's the issue?
Talk to me.
333
00:12:31,243 --> 00:12:32,953
- There's no point, okay?
- [RINGING STOPS]
334
00:12:32,995 --> 00:12:34,997
I call him. I invite him.
He never shows up.
335
00:12:35,039 --> 00:12:36,999
He's always got a work meeting
or a business trip
336
00:12:37,041 --> 00:12:38,667
or a conference call.
337
00:12:38,709 --> 00:12:40,544
All he cares about is work.
338
00:12:40,586 --> 00:12:44,507
But after a while, you...
you just stop trying.
339
00:12:44,548 --> 00:12:46,717
- He's still your brother.
- [LINE RINGING]
340
00:12:46,759 --> 00:12:49,011
You were partners.
341
00:12:49,053 --> 00:12:50,781
Yeah, I guess sometimes you just...
[RINGING STOPS]
342
00:12:50,805 --> 00:12:54,892
you grow up and grow apart.
343
00:12:56,685 --> 00:12:57,978
- [LINE RINGING]
- [GASPS]
344
00:12:58,020 --> 00:12:59,647
Daddy, don't say no.
345
00:12:59,688 --> 00:13:01,065
What if everybody said no?
346
00:13:01,107 --> 00:13:02,233
Nothing would happen.
347
00:13:02,274 --> 00:13:03,651
Nothing would get off the ground.
348
00:13:03,692 --> 00:13:04,985
You got to wake up every day
349
00:13:05,027 --> 00:13:06,779
and you got to say,
"Yes, yes, yes!"
350
00:13:06,821 --> 00:13:10,199
Surprise me. Say yes.
351
00:13:10,241 --> 00:13:11,367
[SIGHS]
352
00:13:11,408 --> 00:13:12,243
[RINGING STOPS]
353
00:13:12,284 --> 00:13:14,870
This is really disappointing.
354
00:13:14,912 --> 00:13:17,164
- And now I'm getting mad!
- It's late.
355
00:13:17,206 --> 00:13:19,250
We can work on this tomorrow, okay?
356
00:13:19,291 --> 00:13:20,960
- [GRUNTS]
- [TOY SQUEAKS]
357
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:23,879
Oh. Whoopsie.
Your little horsey fell off.
358
00:13:23,921 --> 00:13:26,424
Another day won't hurt, right?
359
00:13:27,425 --> 00:13:28,926
Good night, sweetie.
360
00:13:28,968 --> 00:13:30,678
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [SCOFFS]
361
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:33,264
[TAPE REWINDING]
362
00:13:33,305 --> 00:13:34,723
[RECORDED]TIM: Good night, sweetie.
363
00:13:34,765 --> 00:13:36,559
- ...horsey fell off.
- [REWINDING]
364
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,227
Tabitha?
365
00:13:41,439 --> 00:13:43,482
[♪♪♪]
366
00:13:50,948 --> 00:13:53,075
[LOW RUMBLING, OBJECTS RATTLING]
367
00:13:55,411 --> 00:13:56,579
Huh?
368
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:58,456
[GASPS, SQUEALS]
369
00:14:12,470 --> 00:14:14,513
[♪♪♪]
370
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:27,485
Uh, don't worry. I got it.
371
00:14:27,526 --> 00:14:29,379
- [TIM YELLS, GROANS]
- Where is she? Where is she?
372
00:14:29,403 --> 00:14:31,131
- Where's who? What?
- I came as fast as I could.
373
00:14:31,155 --> 00:14:32,656
- Ted?
- I canceled all my meetings.
374
00:14:32,698 --> 00:14:34,634
What are you doing here?
[GRUNTS] Why are you yelling?
375
00:14:34,658 --> 00:14:35,868
- Where's Tabitha?
- Tabitha?
376
00:14:35,910 --> 00:14:37,286
- Where is she, Tim?
- CAROL: Ted.
377
00:14:37,328 --> 00:14:38,972
Uncle Ted, you're here!
You're really here.
378
00:14:38,996 --> 00:14:40,556
- Which arm is it? Left or right?
- Huh?
379
00:14:40,581 --> 00:14:42,458
- Is it your fibula? Talk to me.
- Whoa.
380
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,126
- Good dilation. Open up.
- [GROANS]
381
00:14:44,168 --> 00:14:46,063
- Say, "Ah." Are you okay?
- Wh-What are you doing?
382
00:14:46,087 --> 00:14:47,338
- You look okay.
- Whoa.
383
00:14:47,379 --> 00:14:49,131
Don't worry.
I'm fine, Uncle Ted.
384
00:14:49,173 --> 00:14:51,467
- That's my girl.
- Woo-hoo.
385
00:14:51,509 --> 00:14:53,094
Uh, wh-what brings you into town?
386
00:14:53,135 --> 00:14:54,470
Well, Tabitha fell off her pony.
387
00:14:54,512 --> 00:14:56,305
- She did?
- She did?
388
00:14:56,347 --> 00:14:57,306
I did?
389
00:14:57,348 --> 00:14:59,475
- Tim left me a voice mail.
- He did?
390
00:14:59,517 --> 00:15:01,018
- I did?
- You did.
391
00:15:01,060 --> 00:15:02,954
[COBBLED FROM RECORDING]TIM: Hello. This is your brother.
392
00:15:02,978 --> 00:15:04,647
Help. Tabitha fell off horsey.
393
00:15:04,688 --> 00:15:05,898
Good night, sweetie.
394
00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:07,566
Well, that was unsettling.
395
00:15:08,651 --> 00:15:11,153
I swear I didn't leave that message.
396
00:15:11,195 --> 00:15:14,240
- [COOS]
- On... purpose.
397
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:15,366
I...
398
00:15:15,407 --> 00:15:16,367
Butt-dialed?
399
00:15:16,408 --> 00:15:17,868
[CHUCKLES]
With my butt.
400
00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:19,245
While I was talking in my sleep.
401
00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:20,830
I do that sometimes.
402
00:15:20,871 --> 00:15:22,456
You sleep-butt-dialed me?
403
00:15:22,498 --> 00:15:25,543
- With my butt.
- [CAROL CHUCKLING]
404
00:15:25,584 --> 00:15:28,963
I knew there must be a
perfectly logical explanation.
405
00:15:29,004 --> 00:15:30,756
[CHUCKLES]
And there it is.
406
00:15:30,798 --> 00:15:32,692
- TED: Hmm.
- All that matters is that you're here.
407
00:15:32,716 --> 00:15:34,885
- TABITHA: Woo-hoo! Yay!
- [TINA SQUEALS]
408
00:15:34,927 --> 00:15:36,363
- Absolutely. Uh, for now.
- [TINA GIGGLING]
409
00:15:36,387 --> 00:15:38,347
Uncle Ted, please stay
for Christmas. Please.
410
00:15:38,389 --> 00:15:41,016
Sorry, sweetie.
I can't do Christmas on the 25th.
411
00:15:41,058 --> 00:15:43,269
But, Uncle Ted, I missed you so much.
412
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,020
[ECHOING]
I missed you so much.
413
00:15:45,062 --> 00:15:46,689
- I missed you so much.
- Mm... wah!
414
00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:48,667
TABITHA:Don't you think
I'm a little old for that now?
415
00:15:48,691 --> 00:15:50,377
[ECHOING] Don't you think
I'm a little old for that now?
416
00:15:50,401 --> 00:15:52,045
Don't you think
I'm a little old for that now?
417
00:15:52,069 --> 00:15:54,071
[CHUCKLES]
Can I talk to you in the kitchen?
418
00:15:54,905 --> 00:15:56,449
Alone.
419
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,453
- TED: The baby, Tim?
- [SHUSHES]
420
00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:03,122
She's been sent from up there.
421
00:16:03,164 --> 00:16:05,791
- Upstairs?
- That's right. BabyCorp.
422
00:16:05,833 --> 00:16:09,336
So you're saying the voice mail
was some kind of call for help.
423
00:16:09,378 --> 00:16:11,338
Yes! No.
424
00:16:11,380 --> 00:16:14,258
She comes from a secret
corporation run by babies.
425
00:16:15,384 --> 00:16:18,220
Tim, I'm gonna give you
the name of a doctor.
426
00:16:18,262 --> 00:16:22,057
Roy Federman. Just tell him
I sent you, okay?
427
00:16:22,099 --> 00:16:23,309
[HUSHED]
What are they saying?
428
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,810
We should give them some privacy.
429
00:16:24,852 --> 00:16:26,103
- Here you go.
- Ooh. Thanks.
430
00:16:26,145 --> 00:16:27,438
TIM: I'm not crazy!
431
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,190
You just don't remember.
Tell him, Tina.
432
00:16:29,231 --> 00:16:30,542
- He... I...
- TED: She can't talk, Tim.
433
00:16:30,566 --> 00:16:32,234
- TIM: Stop interrupting.
- [TINA GROANS]
434
00:16:32,276 --> 00:16:33,587
TED: Interrupting what?
I don't hear anything.
435
00:16:33,611 --> 00:16:35,738
Except your obnoxious voice.
You hear that.
436
00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:37,907
I have a beautiful voice.
437
00:16:37,948 --> 00:16:39,325
- [GROANS]
- TIM: Fine.
438
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,206
I can prove that everything I'm saying is real.
439
00:16:41,243 --> 00:16:42,578
- TED: Oh, yeah?
- TIM: Yeah!
440
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:43,579
Suck it, Ted.
441
00:16:43,621 --> 00:16:44,622
I beg your pardon?
442
00:16:44,663 --> 00:16:45,748
You, suck.
443
00:16:45,790 --> 00:16:47,208
No, no, Tim. You suck.
444
00:16:47,249 --> 00:16:48,602
CAROL: Time to go buy a Christmas tree.
445
00:16:48,626 --> 00:16:50,294
But we already have
a Christmas tree.
446
00:16:50,336 --> 00:16:52,505
- No, we don't. No, we don't.
- Yes, we do. Yes, we do.
447
00:16:52,546 --> 00:16:54,107
Suck it, suck it, suck it,
suck it, suck it, suck it.
448
00:16:54,131 --> 00:16:55,650
- Get that pacie out of my face!
- Excuse me.
449
00:16:55,674 --> 00:16:58,761
I hate to interrupt,
but may I make a suggestion?
450
00:16:58,803 --> 00:17:00,137
Why don't you both suck it?
451
00:17:00,179 --> 00:17:02,098
- Ha! [WHOOPS]
- [GRUNTS]
452
00:17:02,139 --> 00:17:03,891
[GRUNTING]
453
00:17:03,933 --> 00:17:05,893
- She can talk.
- A lot.
454
00:17:05,935 --> 00:17:07,061
[WHOOPS]
455
00:17:07,103 --> 00:17:08,687
Buckle up, boys.
456
00:17:08,729 --> 00:17:10,314
[SUCKING RAPIDLY]
457
00:17:11,148 --> 00:17:12,608
[ALL SCREAMING]
458
00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:14,944
- TINA: Baby on board!
- [TIM WHOOPING]
459
00:17:14,985 --> 00:17:17,154
- That's what I'm talking about!
- [LAUGHS] Woo-hoo!
460
00:17:17,196 --> 00:17:19,573
[SCREAMING]
461
00:17:20,950 --> 00:17:22,118
[SIGHS]
462
00:17:22,159 --> 00:17:24,662
[♪♪♪]
463
00:17:31,961 --> 00:17:33,671
TIM: Yeah! Woo-hoo!
464
00:17:34,839 --> 00:17:36,132
[BOTH GRUNT]
465
00:17:36,173 --> 00:17:37,800
[YELPS]
466
00:17:37,842 --> 00:17:39,844
- Wow.
- [TINA LAUGHS]
467
00:17:39,885 --> 00:17:41,470
[GASPS]
468
00:17:41,512 --> 00:17:42,805
I'm home.
469
00:17:42,847 --> 00:17:44,098
TIM: Yeah. See?
470
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:45,558
It's all real.
471
00:17:45,599 --> 00:17:46,642
TED: Whoa.
472
00:17:46,684 --> 00:17:48,811
Is that me?
473
00:17:48,853 --> 00:17:51,564
TINA: If you're fishing for a compliment,
you caught one!
474
00:17:51,605 --> 00:17:53,983
You are a legend in this joint.
475
00:17:54,024 --> 00:17:55,484
A statue?
476
00:17:55,526 --> 00:17:58,028
Well, I did single-handedly save the company.
477
00:17:58,070 --> 00:17:59,572
Double-handedly.
478
00:17:59,613 --> 00:18:01,007
[CHUCKLING]
Right? We were partners.
479
00:18:01,031 --> 00:18:02,116
Really?
480
00:18:02,158 --> 00:18:03,826
I don't see your statue.
481
00:18:03,868 --> 00:18:05,453
I still love you, Daddy.
482
00:18:05,494 --> 00:18:07,455
TIM: They got the head size right.
483
00:18:07,496 --> 00:18:08,748
[DING]
484
00:18:08,789 --> 00:18:11,000
TED: Take it from me,
you have to be aggressive
485
00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:12,293
if you want to get ahead.
486
00:18:12,334 --> 00:18:14,003
Climb that corporate ladder
487
00:18:14,044 --> 00:18:16,672
- until you're the last baby standing at the top.
- TIM: Wow.
488
00:18:16,714 --> 00:18:19,633
Actually, I prioritize
a good work-life balance
489
00:18:19,675 --> 00:18:23,179
and a positive environment
where my ideas are valued.
490
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:25,347
[LAUGHING]
491
00:18:25,389 --> 00:18:26,724
Oh, you're serious.
492
00:18:26,766 --> 00:18:28,601
You're funny, Uncle Ted.
493
00:18:28,642 --> 00:18:30,853
I wonder why they didn't
mention that in your file.
494
00:18:30,895 --> 00:18:32,021
My file?
495
00:18:32,062 --> 00:18:33,564
- You saw my file?
- [TIM SIGHS]
496
00:18:33,606 --> 00:18:34,857
- Yep.
- What does it say?
497
00:18:34,899 --> 00:18:36,192
It says a lot.
498
00:18:36,233 --> 00:18:38,611
- This is the Crisis Center.
- Whoa. Wow.
499
00:18:38,652 --> 00:18:41,113
This is where we monitor
all threats
500
00:18:41,155 --> 00:18:43,115
to babies around the world.
501
00:18:43,157 --> 00:18:44,408
And Hawaii.
502
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:46,202
This is so cool.
This is so cool.
503
00:18:46,243 --> 00:18:48,204
[ROARING]
I'm Godzilla.
504
00:18:48,245 --> 00:18:49,765
"Oh, run for your lives!
Run for your lives!"
505
00:18:49,789 --> 00:18:52,124
- Why did we bring him?
- Daddy, get down from there.
506
00:18:52,166 --> 00:18:54,877
Aw. We can play on it later
when no one is looking.
507
00:18:54,919 --> 00:18:56,587
- What's the crisis?
- Yeah.
508
00:18:56,629 --> 00:18:58,214
Here we go.
What's the crisis, sweetie?
509
00:18:58,255 --> 00:18:59,632
Rusty, roll it.
510
00:18:59,673 --> 00:19:01,550
[SNORES, WHINES]
511
00:19:01,592 --> 00:19:03,552
He's new.
512
00:19:03,594 --> 00:19:07,389
[OVER SPEAKERS]DR. ARMSTRONG: Just imagine, baby surgeons.
513
00:19:07,431 --> 00:19:09,725
- [BUZZER SOUNDS] Uh-oh.
- [BABIES GIGGLING]
514
00:19:09,767 --> 00:19:12,061
Or baby astronauts.
515
00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:15,231
[SINGSONGY]
Floaty, floaty, float.
516
00:19:15,272 --> 00:19:18,567
Yes, babies are gonna run the world one day.
517
00:19:18,609 --> 00:19:21,821
And that day is coming sooner than you think.
518
00:19:21,862 --> 00:19:24,824
Hello. My name is Dr. Erwin Armstrong,
519
00:19:24,865 --> 00:19:27,410
founder of The Acorn Center
for Advanced Childhood.
520
00:19:27,451 --> 00:19:29,371
Wait a minute, that's...
that's Tabitha's school.
521
00:19:29,412 --> 00:19:31,747
Here at the center, we believe babies
522
00:19:31,789 --> 00:19:34,375
are the ultimate learning machines.
523
00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:36,335
Isn't that right, little Nathan?
524
00:19:36,377 --> 00:19:38,504
- Yeah!
- [CHUCKLES] Okay.
525
00:19:38,546 --> 00:19:40,089
They should use their precious time
526
00:19:40,131 --> 00:19:42,550
to develop faster, push harder.
527
00:19:42,591 --> 00:19:43,985
- Hmm. [TIM SCOFFS]
- Parents, they have the best
528
00:19:44,009 --> 00:19:46,929
intentions, of course,
but they're not experts.
529
00:19:46,971 --> 00:19:51,058
After all, the only thing
holding your child back is...
530
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,852
- you.
- KIDS: You!
531
00:19:52,893 --> 00:19:55,563
This explains why Tabitha's
been pulling away from me.
532
00:19:55,604 --> 00:19:57,484
- It's the school.
- ARMSTRONG: Everybody, wave.
533
00:19:57,523 --> 00:19:59,066
- Bye, Mommy.
- KIDS: Bye, Mommy!
534
00:19:59,108 --> 00:20:00,317
- Bye, Daddy.
- Bye, Daddy!
535
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:02,945
[SINGSONGY]
Sayonara.
536
00:20:02,987 --> 00:20:05,030
Now, in the past six months,
537
00:20:05,072 --> 00:20:08,033
these schools have been
popping up all over the world.
538
00:20:08,075 --> 00:20:09,285
Uh, so what's the problem?
539
00:20:09,326 --> 00:20:10,953
The school is the problem.
540
00:20:10,995 --> 00:20:12,413
Yeah. School is evil.
541
00:20:12,455 --> 00:20:14,623
No, Daddy, not all schools are evil.
542
00:20:14,665 --> 00:20:16,751
- It's just this one, okay?
- Okay.
543
00:20:16,792 --> 00:20:18,878
If Armstrong's philosophy keeps spreading,
544
00:20:18,919 --> 00:20:21,046
it could be the end of childhood.
545
00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:22,506
No.
546
00:20:22,548 --> 00:20:24,842
Childhood was the worst three years of my life.
547
00:20:24,884 --> 00:20:26,427
That's so sad.
548
00:20:26,469 --> 00:20:28,304
You probably just didn't do it right.
549
00:20:28,345 --> 00:20:29,597
- Huh?
- Aw.
550
00:20:29,638 --> 00:20:31,849
But luckily, you get a do-over.
551
00:20:31,891 --> 00:20:34,059
A second chance.
552
00:20:35,227 --> 00:20:38,731
BabyCorp has developed
a new super-duper baby formula
553
00:20:38,773 --> 00:20:41,650
that can turn a grown-up
back into a baby. [BABY COOS]
554
00:20:41,692 --> 00:20:43,986
We have it in cherry, grape,
orange and lime.
555
00:20:44,028 --> 00:20:45,780
- For real?
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
556
00:20:45,821 --> 00:20:47,758
- You want me to be a baby?
- Hey, it's what you do best.
557
00:20:47,782 --> 00:20:49,867
So you can infiltrate the school and find out
558
00:20:49,909 --> 00:20:52,578
what Dr. Armstrong is really up to.
559
00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:55,164
BabyCorp will take care of the rest.
560
00:20:55,206 --> 00:20:56,999
[WHOOPS]
561
00:20:57,041 --> 00:20:58,667
[TIM GASPS, LAUGHS]
562
00:20:58,709 --> 00:21:00,669
It's the perfect disguise.
563
00:21:00,711 --> 00:21:03,631
And it only lasts 48 teensy-weensy hours.
564
00:21:03,672 --> 00:21:05,424
Oh, I am in on the mission.
565
00:21:05,466 --> 00:21:06,592
- Sorry, Pops.
- Ow.
566
00:21:06,634 --> 00:21:08,469
- It's not your mission.
- Aw.
567
00:21:08,511 --> 00:21:10,513
"Warning: may cause drooling, babbling,
568
00:21:10,554 --> 00:21:12,348
"emotional outbursts, fits of laughter,
569
00:21:12,389 --> 00:21:16,352
loss of bowel control, chubby thighs"?
570
00:21:16,393 --> 00:21:19,188
I think some guys at my gym take this stuff.
571
00:21:19,230 --> 00:21:20,314
[SCREAMS]
572
00:21:20,356 --> 00:21:22,108
My texting hand!
573
00:21:22,149 --> 00:21:24,443
Even though it is your daughter's school.
[SCREAMING]
574
00:21:24,485 --> 00:21:25,945
Doesn't seem fair, does it?
575
00:21:25,986 --> 00:21:27,446
Daddy, no. Please stop.
576
00:21:27,488 --> 00:21:28,864
[GLUGS]
Whoa!
577
00:21:28,906 --> 00:21:30,574
[BABBLING RAPIDLY]
578
00:21:30,616 --> 00:21:32,493
What? It actually works.
579
00:21:32,535 --> 00:21:33,702
[TED STRAINING]
580
00:21:33,744 --> 00:21:35,538
- TED: It's mine!
- [YELLS]
581
00:21:35,579 --> 00:21:37,373
- I'm better with this kind of thing!
- Oh!
582
00:21:37,415 --> 00:21:38,916
[GLUGS, SCREAMS]
583
00:21:38,958 --> 00:21:41,210
And what kind of thing is that,
Flock of Seagulls?
584
00:21:41,252 --> 00:21:43,045
- [BOTH GRUNTING]
- [RECORD SCRATCHES]
585
00:21:43,087 --> 00:21:45,339
["THE TIME WARP" FROM ROCKYHORROR PICTURE SHOW PLAYING]
586
00:21:45,381 --> 00:21:46,882
- Everything!
- Gotcha!
587
00:21:46,924 --> 00:21:49,718
You might feel very emotional,
have some mood swings.
588
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,011
- [GLUGGING]
- [TED YELLS]
589
00:21:51,053 --> 00:21:52,263
Oh!
[BABBLES]
590
00:21:52,304 --> 00:21:53,806
Hey!
[SCREAMS]
591
00:21:53,848 --> 00:21:56,100
Ouch.
There's the awkward stage.
592
00:21:56,142 --> 00:21:57,726
Now, the tea's hot, Connie.
593
00:21:57,768 --> 00:21:59,728
You always have to be the hero, don't you?
594
00:21:59,770 --> 00:22:01,647
What's that supposed to mean?
[GRUNTS]
595
00:22:01,689 --> 00:22:03,899
Never see him...
[FRIGHTENED WHIMPERING]
596
00:22:03,941 --> 00:22:05,901
All of a sudden, he shows up with a pony.
597
00:22:05,943 --> 00:22:09,155
[SCREAMS]
You're just jealous, helmet head.
598
00:22:09,196 --> 00:22:10,573
She's my daughter!
599
00:22:10,614 --> 00:22:12,241
She's my niece.
[SCREAMS]
600
00:22:12,283 --> 00:22:14,243
- [GRUNTS]
- Do you want cream or sugar?
601
00:22:14,285 --> 00:22:15,786
[BOTH YELLING]
602
00:22:15,828 --> 00:22:17,788
I was always the successful one.
603
00:22:17,830 --> 00:22:20,416
Mommy says no running in the house.
604
00:22:20,458 --> 00:22:21,667
[SLURPS]
Mm.
605
00:22:21,709 --> 00:22:23,919
Hand over the bottle, mullet.
606
00:22:23,961 --> 00:22:25,713
[GRUNTING]
607
00:22:25,755 --> 00:22:28,090
- [SCREAMS]
- You can't hug money, you know.
608
00:22:28,132 --> 00:22:29,383
[GLUGS, BABBLES]
609
00:22:29,425 --> 00:22:30,801
[GRUNTS]
610
00:22:31,761 --> 00:22:34,221
But you can, Tim. You can.
611
00:22:34,263 --> 00:22:37,224
[BOTH YELLING]
612
00:22:37,266 --> 00:22:39,143
Men. Am I right?
613
00:22:39,185 --> 00:22:42,188
[BOTH YELLING, GRUNTING]
614
00:22:42,229 --> 00:22:44,106
[GLUGGING]
615
00:22:44,148 --> 00:22:46,192
[SLOW-MOTION YELLING]
616
00:22:46,233 --> 00:22:48,319
[SCREAMS, GRUNTS]
617
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,029
It's not personal.
618
00:22:50,070 --> 00:22:51,864
It's business, Leslie.
619
00:22:51,906 --> 00:22:52,948
[GRUNTS]
620
00:22:52,990 --> 00:22:54,992
Well, it's personal to me, Lindsey.
621
00:22:55,034 --> 00:22:57,661
[BOTH SCREAM]
622
00:22:57,703 --> 00:23:01,082
[BOTH WHIMPERING]
623
00:23:01,123 --> 00:23:02,958
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
Ow, ow, ow!
624
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,835
I'm sorry, Connie.
I have to cut this short.
625
00:23:04,877 --> 00:23:06,962
Tomorrow, we'll talk about your problems.
626
00:23:07,004 --> 00:23:09,715
Okay, time-out!
This has gone far enough!
627
00:23:09,757 --> 00:23:11,300
TABITHA: Hey. We're home.
628
00:23:11,342 --> 00:23:12,843
[GRUNTS]
And we got another tree.
629
00:23:12,885 --> 00:23:14,095
A real one.
630
00:23:14,136 --> 00:23:15,137
[ALL GASP]
631
00:23:15,179 --> 00:23:16,555
Um, upstairs now.
632
00:23:16,597 --> 00:23:17,973
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
633
00:23:18,015 --> 00:23:19,451
- [BOTH GRUNTING]
- CAROL: Push it. No, no, pull.
634
00:23:19,475 --> 00:23:20,577
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- Push it up.
635
00:23:20,601 --> 00:23:22,144
- [GRUNTS, WHOOPS]
- Pull. No, okay.
636
00:23:22,186 --> 00:23:24,230
- To the right.
- How come I have the heavy end?
637
00:23:24,271 --> 00:23:26,148
CAROL: Because you're young
and strong, honey.
638
00:23:26,190 --> 00:23:27,525
Little bit more.
639
00:23:27,566 --> 00:23:28,692
- Me first!
- [GRUNTS]
640
00:23:28,734 --> 00:23:29,985
- CAROL: Come on.
- Get off.
641
00:23:30,027 --> 00:23:31,821
- Tim? Ted?
- Mom.
642
00:23:31,862 --> 00:23:33,197
Get the cord.
Get the cord.
643
00:23:33,239 --> 00:23:34,508
Get the cord, get the cord, get the cord!
644
00:23:34,532 --> 00:23:36,200
You just can't disappear.
645
00:23:36,242 --> 00:23:37,535
You need a cover story.
646
00:23:37,576 --> 00:23:39,036
- TED: Ow!
- Oh, right.
647
00:23:39,078 --> 00:23:40,162
My soft spot.
648
00:23:40,204 --> 00:23:41,330
CAROL: Where are you guys?
649
00:23:41,372 --> 00:23:42,557
Uh, uh, tell her you're packing.
650
00:23:42,581 --> 00:23:45,376
We're upstairs, uh, packing.
651
00:23:45,418 --> 00:23:46,853
- Packing? For what?
- [TABITHA YELLS]
652
00:23:46,877 --> 00:23:48,597
Ooh. You're going on a brother bonding trip.
653
00:23:48,629 --> 00:23:51,173
- We're going on a brother bonding trip.
- Ow!
654
00:23:51,215 --> 00:23:52,800
Now?
655
00:23:52,842 --> 00:23:54,486
But, Tim, your parents are coming tomorrow.
656
00:23:54,510 --> 00:23:56,178
They can help out.
657
00:23:56,220 --> 00:23:58,055
Yeah, they could help out.
658
00:23:58,097 --> 00:24:00,975
What... No, you can't leave me
alone with your parents.
659
00:24:01,016 --> 00:24:02,643
- [TINA YELLS, LAUGHS]
- Oh, Tina!
660
00:24:02,685 --> 00:24:05,312
[GRUNTS]
What are you doing?
661
00:24:05,354 --> 00:24:06,814
[BOTH GRUNTING]
662
00:24:06,856 --> 00:24:09,024
All right, you know what?
You're going to baby jail.
663
00:24:09,066 --> 00:24:10,877
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- Tabitha!
664
00:24:10,901 --> 00:24:12,379
- CAROL: Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
- TABITHA: A little help here.
665
00:24:12,403 --> 00:24:13,839
CAROL: Honey, hold it up. Hold it up.
666
00:24:13,863 --> 00:24:15,543
[DEEP VOICE]
This is Ted Templeton, a man.
667
00:24:15,573 --> 00:24:17,259
You can go ahead and take off.
I have urgent family business.
668
00:24:17,283 --> 00:24:19,452
- CAROL: To the right, honey.
- Yes, I have a family.
669
00:24:19,493 --> 00:24:21,370
- Tim, I'm coming up there.
- [TINA GASPS]
670
00:24:21,412 --> 00:24:23,330
Yeah, we need to talk.
671
00:24:23,372 --> 00:24:24,999
TABITHA: Hey, Mom?
672
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,208
Oh! Tina!
673
00:24:26,250 --> 00:24:27,626
[SQUEALS, LAUGHS]
674
00:24:27,668 --> 00:24:29,670
Put that down.
Put that down. Put that down.
675
00:24:29,712 --> 00:24:31,064
- Put that down. Put that down.
- Tina!
676
00:24:31,088 --> 00:24:33,883
- Put that down! Get back here!
- [LAUGHING]
677
00:24:33,924 --> 00:24:36,385
Tina, stop!
[GRUNTING]
678
00:24:36,427 --> 00:24:38,512
CAROL: What has gotten into you?
679
00:24:38,554 --> 00:24:40,222
- Time for us to go!
- [GRUNTS]
680
00:24:40,264 --> 00:24:41,724
- What? Now?
- TED: Yeah.
681
00:24:41,766 --> 00:24:44,602
- My helicopter's double-parked.
- Bye!
682
00:24:44,643 --> 00:24:46,771
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So soon?
- Oh, no.
683
00:24:46,812 --> 00:24:48,898
- [BOTH SCREAM]
- [WIND WHISTLING]
684
00:24:48,939 --> 00:24:51,776
- [HELICOPTER WHIRRING]
- [PANTING]
685
00:24:53,194 --> 00:24:54,945
What... Did they really just leave?
686
00:24:54,987 --> 00:24:56,071
Yep.
687
00:24:56,113 --> 00:24:57,948
- Hide!
- [TED AND TIM WHIMPERING]
688
00:24:57,990 --> 00:25:00,993
[GROANS]
I got to lose this baby fat.
689
00:25:01,035 --> 00:25:02,620
[CAROL SIGHS]
690
00:25:02,661 --> 00:25:04,747
Tina! What is your problem?
691
00:25:04,789 --> 00:25:06,916
[TINA LAUGHING]
692
00:25:06,957 --> 00:25:09,001
[♪♪♪]
693
00:25:10,753 --> 00:25:12,505
CAROL: Now, you're gonna wake up tomorrow
694
00:25:12,546 --> 00:25:14,131
and be good, Tina.
695
00:25:14,173 --> 00:25:15,466
No more devil baby.
696
00:25:15,508 --> 00:25:16,759
Deal?
697
00:25:16,801 --> 00:25:19,095
- [COOS]
- Okay.
698
00:25:21,222 --> 00:25:23,140
[BOTH GASPING FOR AIR]
699
00:25:23,182 --> 00:25:24,308
[BOTH SCREAM]
700
00:25:24,350 --> 00:25:25,559
Ew.
701
00:25:25,601 --> 00:25:27,019
[BOTH SCREAM]
702
00:25:27,061 --> 00:25:29,271
- [CHIMING]
Thanks so much for coming in, ladies.
703
00:25:29,313 --> 00:25:30,606
Would you like some fruit?
704
00:25:30,648 --> 00:25:31,649
Mm. Ow!
705
00:25:31,690 --> 00:25:32,650
What was... Hey!
706
00:25:32,691 --> 00:25:34,235
Uh, can we get on with this?
707
00:25:34,276 --> 00:25:36,445
[GRUNTS, GROANS]
708
00:25:36,487 --> 00:25:38,114
I miss my teeth.
709
00:25:38,155 --> 00:25:40,157
I've decided who's going on the mission.
710
00:25:40,199 --> 00:25:41,408
Thank you. I accept.
711
00:25:41,450 --> 00:25:42,493
Both of you.
712
00:25:42,535 --> 00:25:44,036
- Yes!
- No.
713
00:25:44,078 --> 00:25:45,806
BabyCorp wants to get
the team back together, huh?
714
00:25:45,830 --> 00:25:46,914
[LAUGHS]
No.
715
00:25:46,956 --> 00:25:48,290
They think that's a terrible idea.
716
00:25:48,332 --> 00:25:49,458
Of course they do.
717
00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:51,293
Well, I'm the boss, applesauce.
718
00:25:51,335 --> 00:25:54,296
And I think you two are better
together than you are apart.
719
00:25:54,338 --> 00:25:57,591
Well, I work alone--
or at least not with him.
720
00:25:57,633 --> 00:25:59,635
Hey. There's no "I" in "team."
721
00:25:59,677 --> 00:26:01,637
Actually, there's no "U"
in "team," either,
722
00:26:01,679 --> 00:26:03,848
- but there is an "M-E."
- T-E-A-M...
723
00:26:03,889 --> 00:26:05,808
But teamwork doesn't seem work.
724
00:26:05,850 --> 00:26:08,185
Ah. If you want something
done right, do it yourself.
725
00:26:08,227 --> 00:26:10,729
- We're all in it together.
- Every man for himself.
726
00:26:10,771 --> 00:26:12,481
One is the loneliest number.
727
00:26:12,523 --> 00:26:14,358
- The ayes have it.
- We the people!
728
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,235
Aha!
729
00:26:17,528 --> 00:26:18,821
Oh. So sorry.
730
00:26:18,863 --> 00:26:20,239
[WHISPERS]
Okay. Good night.
731
00:26:20,281 --> 00:26:21,657
Whew.
732
00:26:21,699 --> 00:26:23,802
Guess we'll just have to
melt down your big old statue
733
00:26:23,826 --> 00:26:25,661
and turn it into participation trophies.
734
00:26:25,703 --> 00:26:27,496
Please, no,
don't hurt my statue.
735
00:26:27,538 --> 00:26:30,583
Now, we have secret intel
736
00:26:30,624 --> 00:26:35,713
that Dr. Armstrong leaves his
office every morning at 11:15.
737
00:26:35,755 --> 00:26:37,214
You need to sneak in there,
738
00:26:37,256 --> 00:26:39,467
plant these surveillance devices,
739
00:26:39,508 --> 00:26:41,510
and report back to me.
740
00:26:41,552 --> 00:26:42,636
Oh, man, this is so cool.
741
00:26:42,678 --> 00:26:43,822
[ECHOING OVER SPEAKER]
Testing.
742
00:26:43,846 --> 00:26:45,181
♪ Strangers in the night... ♪
743
00:26:45,222 --> 00:26:47,683
Now, I've arranged for a school bus
744
00:26:47,725 --> 00:26:50,019
to be here at 8:00 a.m. sharp!
745
00:26:50,060 --> 00:26:51,663
- Thank you, Connie.
- CONNIE: Nighty night.
746
00:26:51,687 --> 00:26:53,147
Do not be late.
747
00:26:53,189 --> 00:26:54,398
Got it.
748
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,358
Easy-breezy, taco-peasy, boys.
749
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:58,235
Let's get some sleep!
750
00:26:58,277 --> 00:27:00,196
[SNORING]
751
00:27:04,366 --> 00:27:06,410
[COOS SOFTLY]
752
00:27:08,537 --> 00:27:10,790
[♪♪♪]
753
00:27:20,091 --> 00:27:22,259
CAROL: Hey, what's the matter?
754
00:27:23,761 --> 00:27:25,012
TABITHA: It's nothing.
755
00:27:25,054 --> 00:27:26,388
CAROL: Oh, sweetie, don't worry.
756
00:27:26,430 --> 00:27:27,723
I'm sure your dad will be back
757
00:27:27,765 --> 00:27:29,391
in time to see you in the pageant.
758
00:27:29,433 --> 00:27:30,768
TABITHA: That's okay.
759
00:27:30,810 --> 00:27:32,162
CAROL: What?
Don't you want him to come?
760
00:27:32,186 --> 00:27:34,730
- TABITHA: I guess.
- CAROL: Of course you do.
761
00:27:34,772 --> 00:27:36,690
Now, go back to sleep.
762
00:27:36,732 --> 00:27:38,109
TABITHA: Good night, Mom.
763
00:27:38,150 --> 00:27:40,444
CAROL: Good night, sweetie.
764
00:27:47,952 --> 00:27:49,995
[COOS SOFTLY]
765
00:27:53,541 --> 00:27:55,793
[♪♪♪]
766
00:27:59,797 --> 00:28:01,257
CAROL:Don't you want him to come?
767
00:28:01,298 --> 00:28:03,175
- TABITHA:I guess.
- [GASPING]
768
00:28:03,217 --> 00:28:04,468
[SCREAMS]
769
00:28:04,510 --> 00:28:06,846
Don't you think I'm
a little old for that now?
770
00:28:06,887 --> 00:28:09,598
I think it's time we both grow up.
771
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,183
- [GRUNTS]
- [THUNDER CRASHES]
772
00:28:11,225 --> 00:28:12,977
[GAVEL SLAMMING]
773
00:28:14,145 --> 00:28:16,689
The trial of Timothy Leslie Templeton
774
00:28:16,730 --> 00:28:18,107
is now in session.
775
00:28:18,149 --> 00:28:19,483
- Ha! Leslie.
- [LAUGHTER]
776
00:28:19,525 --> 00:28:21,610
Trial? Wait, what...
what are the charges?
777
00:28:21,652 --> 00:28:22,945
Fraud.
778
00:28:22,987 --> 00:28:25,614
Claiming to be the world's best dad.
779
00:28:25,656 --> 00:28:27,074
- But I never said...
- Exhibit A.
780
00:28:27,116 --> 00:28:29,285
- Oh, come on. That was a gift.
- [GALLERY GASPING]
781
00:28:29,326 --> 00:28:32,329
I suggest you let
your attorney do the talking.
782
00:28:32,371 --> 00:28:34,498
[GASPS]
Oh, no.
783
00:28:34,540 --> 00:28:37,042
Back in my day, you had to
earn one of these babies.
784
00:28:37,084 --> 00:28:38,353
- Dad, what? I did not...
- [GALLERY GASPING]
785
00:28:38,377 --> 00:28:41,130
His best friend was an alarm clock.
786
00:28:41,172 --> 00:28:41,922
Mom.
787
00:28:41,964 --> 00:28:44,592
[GROANS]
He broke my arm.
788
00:28:44,633 --> 00:28:46,135
No, I didn't!
It was my brother.
789
00:28:46,177 --> 00:28:47,303
Objection, Your Honor.
790
00:28:47,344 --> 00:28:48,763
Sustained.
791
00:28:48,804 --> 00:28:50,389
We the jury find the defendant...
792
00:28:50,431 --> 00:28:51,891
ALL: A failure!
793
00:28:51,932 --> 00:28:53,684
Tabitha, will you please help me out?
794
00:28:53,726 --> 00:28:55,060
Whoa!
795
00:28:55,102 --> 00:28:57,480
Dad, the homework, it's just too much.
796
00:28:57,521 --> 00:28:58,647
- Whoa!
- Tabitha!
797
00:28:58,689 --> 00:28:59,857
- Time's up.
- [ALARM RINGING]
798
00:28:59,899 --> 00:29:02,443
- Wait. No!
- Save me, Daddy! Save me!
799
00:29:02,485 --> 00:29:04,695
[SCREAMING]
800
00:29:04,737 --> 00:29:06,280
[YELLS, GASPS]
801
00:29:06,322 --> 00:29:07,823
[SIGHS]
802
00:29:07,865 --> 00:29:10,826
- Oh, man. That was crazy.
- [SNORING]
803
00:29:10,868 --> 00:29:12,703
[BOTH YELLING]
804
00:29:12,745 --> 00:29:14,264
- We overslept! We overslept?
- [GASPING]
805
00:29:14,288 --> 00:29:15,974
- We overslept.
- Wake up, little halflings!
806
00:29:15,998 --> 00:29:18,125
- Wake up! What year is it?
- [ALARM RINGING]
807
00:29:18,876 --> 00:29:20,920
Oh, no.
808
00:29:20,961 --> 00:29:22,671
This is bad. No.
809
00:29:22,713 --> 00:29:24,340
No! No.
810
00:29:24,381 --> 00:29:25,674
[YELLS]
Get up.
811
00:29:25,716 --> 00:29:27,009
Get up. We got to go.
812
00:29:27,051 --> 00:29:28,886
Come on.
We're gonna be late for... Oh!
813
00:29:28,928 --> 00:29:30,179
I'm gonna email it to you.
814
00:29:30,221 --> 00:29:31,680
[GRUNTS]
What's going on?
815
00:29:31,722 --> 00:29:33,974
Ah, I forgot to set Wizzie
for daylight savings!
816
00:29:34,016 --> 00:29:37,019
- What?!
- Daylight can't be saved, Tim.
817
00:29:37,061 --> 00:29:39,313
Oh, I got to get the plant
and the bug we got to plant.
818
00:29:39,355 --> 00:29:41,208
- Grab whatever. We got to go.
- Don't panic. Do not panic.
819
00:29:41,232 --> 00:29:42,733
- Ow. [GROANS]
- Godspeed, boys.
820
00:29:42,775 --> 00:29:43,859
Let's roll.
821
00:29:43,901 --> 00:29:46,362
Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa...!
822
00:29:46,403 --> 00:29:48,489
[GRUNTING]
823
00:29:49,824 --> 00:29:51,158
- [TIM SCREAMS]
- Upsies.
824
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,619
- I need upsies...!
- Oh!
825
00:29:53,661 --> 00:29:55,037
- [TED YELLS]
- TIM: Get dressed.
826
00:29:55,079 --> 00:29:57,790
[BOTH GRUNTING AND GROANING]
827
00:29:57,832 --> 00:29:59,417
What have you done to me?!
828
00:29:59,458 --> 00:30:01,377
No, really?
What, are we going sailing?
829
00:30:01,419 --> 00:30:03,546
Oh, no.
No, no, it's leaving.
830
00:30:03,587 --> 00:30:04,880
[BOTH YELL]
831
00:30:04,922 --> 00:30:06,799
[GRUNTS, WHIMPERS]
832
00:30:06,841 --> 00:30:08,217
Wait, no, no. Stop!
833
00:30:08,259 --> 00:30:10,386
Stop, stop, stop. Come back!
834
00:30:10,428 --> 00:30:11,554
Ahoy!
835
00:30:11,595 --> 00:30:12,888
Come back!
836
00:30:12,930 --> 00:30:14,640
[PANTING]
837
00:30:14,682 --> 00:30:16,100
Great, matey.
838
00:30:16,142 --> 00:30:17,685
What are we gonna do now?
839
00:30:18,853 --> 00:30:21,313
[WHISTLING]
840
00:30:21,355 --> 00:30:23,441
[♪♪♪]
841
00:30:26,610 --> 00:30:28,654
[NEIGHING]
842
00:30:33,617 --> 00:30:35,995
[SLOW-MOTION]
Oh, no!
843
00:30:36,036 --> 00:30:37,997
[CONTINUES WHISTLING]
844
00:30:38,789 --> 00:30:39,749
[WHINNIES]
845
00:30:39,790 --> 00:30:42,418
Precious, my noble steed.
846
00:30:42,460 --> 00:30:45,588
We must not be late
for our first day of school.
847
00:30:47,882 --> 00:30:49,717
Oh, gross.
848
00:30:49,759 --> 00:30:51,427
- Huh?
- [TIM SCREAMING]
849
00:30:51,469 --> 00:30:53,763
Tallyho, Precious!
850
00:30:53,804 --> 00:30:56,098
[TIM CONTINUES SCREAMING]
851
00:30:58,309 --> 00:30:59,894
This pony hates me. Oh!
852
00:30:59,935 --> 00:31:01,353
It's not that she hates you, Tim.
853
00:31:01,395 --> 00:31:02,938
She just doesn't respect you.
854
00:31:02,980 --> 00:31:05,399
[TIM SCREAMS, WHIMPERS]
855
00:31:05,441 --> 00:31:07,443
[HORNS HONKING]
856
00:31:07,485 --> 00:31:08,819
Go left! Go left!
857
00:31:08,861 --> 00:31:10,780
I'm gonna go where navigation says.
858
00:31:10,821 --> 00:31:11,989
[AUTOMATED VOICE]
Turn left.
859
00:31:12,031 --> 00:31:13,365
Thank you, navigation.
860
00:31:13,407 --> 00:31:15,010
- TIM: Whoa!
- [AUTOMATED VOICE[ Turn right.
861
00:31:15,034 --> 00:31:16,660
- [PEOPLE SCREAMING]
- TIM: Sorry.
862
00:31:16,702 --> 00:31:19,080
[AUTOMATED VOICE] Turn left.
Proceed on the current route.
863
00:31:20,498 --> 00:31:22,166
TED: Yeehaw!
864
00:31:22,208 --> 00:31:23,876
[AUTOMATED VOICE]
Recalculating.
865
00:31:23,918 --> 00:31:25,711
Hold on to your holster.
866
00:31:25,753 --> 00:31:27,004
- Hyah!
- [YELLS]
867
00:31:27,046 --> 00:31:28,839
[CELL PHONE BUZZING]
868
00:31:28,881 --> 00:31:30,841
[GRUNTS]
Oh, no. It's Carol!
869
00:31:30,883 --> 00:31:31,967
Don't answer it.
870
00:31:32,009 --> 00:31:33,135
- Hi.
- CAROL: Oh, Tim.
871
00:31:33,177 --> 00:31:34,386
How's your bonding trip?
872
00:31:34,428 --> 00:31:36,138
Uh... Whoa!
873
00:31:36,180 --> 00:31:37,473
Whoa. Slow down.
874
00:31:37,515 --> 00:31:40,267
How... is... your...
875
00:31:40,309 --> 00:31:42,186
- bonding trip?
- Aah! Whoa.
876
00:31:42,978 --> 00:31:44,814
[SCREAMS]
You're here!
877
00:31:44,855 --> 00:31:46,774
- Oh, no.
- TIM: I mean, um,
878
00:31:46,816 --> 00:31:48,150
I wish you were here.
879
00:31:48,192 --> 00:31:49,401
Oh, we miss you, too.
880
00:31:49,443 --> 00:31:50,486
Don't we, girls?
881
00:31:50,528 --> 00:31:51,946
We're, uh...
882
00:31:51,987 --> 00:31:53,489
We're, uh, rebooting our relationship
883
00:31:53,531 --> 00:31:55,574
and, uh, restoring the
closeness that we once felt.
884
00:31:55,616 --> 00:31:57,993
- That's so great.
- We've got to go. [CHUCKLES]
885
00:31:58,035 --> 00:31:59,203
CAROL: Where are you?
886
00:31:59,245 --> 00:32:00,663
- Uh, a hockey game.
- Hey!
887
00:32:00,704 --> 00:32:02,248
He shoots, he scores!
888
00:32:02,289 --> 00:32:03,541
He scores! He scores!
889
00:32:03,582 --> 00:32:05,167
Ladies and gentlemen, he scores!
890
00:32:05,209 --> 00:32:06,752
- ♪ Busted... ♪
- ♪ Busted... ♪
891
00:32:06,794 --> 00:32:07,920
- ♪ Busted. ♪
- [SIRENS WAIL]
892
00:32:07,962 --> 00:32:09,755
Is that the police?
893
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,174
Uh, no, not the police.
894
00:32:12,216 --> 00:32:14,009
It's, uh...
it's a hockey alarm.
895
00:32:14,051 --> 00:32:15,219
Faster, Tim.
896
00:32:15,261 --> 00:32:16,971
I ain't going back to the clink!
897
00:32:17,012 --> 00:32:18,431
Now, I just wanted to remind you
898
00:32:18,472 --> 00:32:20,266
that Tabitha's pageant is tomorrow night.
899
00:32:20,307 --> 00:32:22,101
You have to be there.
900
00:32:22,143 --> 00:32:25,855
Uh, I will be there
in one shape or another.
901
00:32:25,896 --> 00:32:27,022
[TED GRUNTS]
902
00:32:27,064 --> 00:32:29,191
- You promise?
- I promise.
903
00:32:29,233 --> 00:32:30,609
And what about Ted?
904
00:32:30,651 --> 00:32:32,027
Happy holidays, coppers.
905
00:32:32,069 --> 00:32:34,989
You're never gonna take me alive, see?
906
00:32:35,030 --> 00:32:36,282
Uh, he's busy.
907
00:32:36,323 --> 00:32:38,033
What are you doing?
It's the cops.
908
00:32:38,075 --> 00:32:39,535
- [TED LAUGHS]
- Sorry, Officers.
909
00:32:39,577 --> 00:32:41,454
TED: Santa's got something for everybody.
910
00:32:41,495 --> 00:32:42,538
TIM: Sorry.
911
00:32:42,580 --> 00:32:44,665
[♪♪♪]
912
00:32:48,085 --> 00:32:49,229
[AUTOMATED VOICE]
Recalculating.
913
00:32:49,253 --> 00:32:50,713
[TIM SCREAMS, TED LAUGHS]
914
00:32:50,755 --> 00:32:52,381
Oh, my God! It's so real!
915
00:32:52,423 --> 00:32:54,383
It's so real! It's so real!
916
00:32:54,425 --> 00:32:56,010
[TIM SCREAMING OVER PHONE]
917
00:32:56,051 --> 00:32:57,845
- Tim?
- [TABITHA SPEAKS MANDARIN]
918
00:32:57,887 --> 00:32:59,013
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
919
00:32:59,054 --> 00:32:59,972
[AUTOMATED VOICE]
Recalculating.
920
00:33:00,014 --> 00:33:01,140
TIM: Left! Left! Left!
921
00:33:01,182 --> 00:33:02,433
[AUTOMATED VOICE]
Recalculating.
922
00:33:02,475 --> 00:33:03,785
TIM: Right, right, right, right, right!
923
00:33:03,809 --> 00:33:05,186
[AUTOMATED VOICE]
Recalculating.
924
00:33:05,227 --> 00:33:07,062
And now the moment we've all waited for!
925
00:33:07,104 --> 00:33:09,440
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
926
00:33:11,817 --> 00:33:13,128
[AUTOMATED VOICE]
Proceed on the current route.
927
00:33:13,152 --> 00:33:14,278
- [SCREAMS]
- See, Tim?
928
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:15,780
- [BLOWING]
- Always trust... Holy...
929
00:33:15,821 --> 00:33:17,198
- [TIM SCREAMING]
- CAROL: Tim?
930
00:33:17,239 --> 00:33:18,491
TIM: Uh, Carol?
931
00:33:18,532 --> 00:33:20,201
You're breaking up.
I'm losing you.
932
00:33:20,242 --> 00:33:21,660
No, honey, I can hear you fine.
933
00:33:21,702 --> 00:33:23,913
- See you at the pageant. Got to go. Bye.
- Okay.
934
00:33:23,954 --> 00:33:25,039
[YELLS]
935
00:33:25,081 --> 00:33:27,833
- [SCREAMS] Whoa!
- Sorry.
936
00:33:27,875 --> 00:33:29,251
[YELLS]
937
00:33:29,293 --> 00:33:30,336
[JIMBO WHIMPERING]
938
00:33:30,377 --> 00:33:32,338
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
939
00:33:32,379 --> 00:33:34,757
- [SCREAMS]
- It's too real! It's too real!
940
00:33:34,799 --> 00:33:37,259
- [CLAMORING]
- [SIREN WAILING]
941
00:33:37,301 --> 00:33:40,888
[SCREAMING]
942
00:33:40,930 --> 00:33:43,974
TED: Tallyho, Precious!
943
00:33:44,016 --> 00:33:45,267
[GASPS]
944
00:33:46,227 --> 00:33:48,729
No, no, no, tally...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
945
00:33:48,771 --> 00:33:50,147
[WHIMPERS]
946
00:33:51,273 --> 00:33:53,776
- [GRUNTS]
- [TIRES SCREECHING]
947
00:33:53,818 --> 00:33:54,944
- [GRUNTS] Tina!
- Tina!
948
00:33:54,985 --> 00:33:56,129
- [TIM SCREAMING]
- TED: Whoa!
949
00:33:56,153 --> 00:33:57,488
[LAUGHS]
950
00:33:57,530 --> 00:33:59,615
- [SCREAMING]
- TED: Woo-hoo!
951
00:33:59,657 --> 00:34:01,867
Whoa!
[LAUGHS]
952
00:34:01,909 --> 00:34:03,953
[TIM PANTING]
953
00:34:03,994 --> 00:34:05,746
- JIMBO: Tree!
- [SIREN WHOOPS]
954
00:34:05,788 --> 00:34:07,766
[AUTOMATED VOICE]
You've arrived at your destination.
955
00:34:07,790 --> 00:34:10,167
- And with a minute to spare.
- [DISTANT EXPLOSION]
956
00:34:10,209 --> 00:34:12,920
Oh. Huh.
957
00:34:12,962 --> 00:34:14,088
I'll send them a check.
958
00:34:14,130 --> 00:34:15,214
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
959
00:34:15,256 --> 00:34:16,507
Oh, that was fun.
960
00:34:16,549 --> 00:34:17,967
You did it.
961
00:34:18,008 --> 00:34:19,301
We did it.
962
00:34:19,343 --> 00:34:21,053
I guess we did.
963
00:34:21,095 --> 00:34:22,888
I was talking about me and Precious.
964
00:34:22,930 --> 00:34:24,890
- Oh.
- Isn't that right, baby?
965
00:34:24,932 --> 00:34:26,100
Yeah. Right.
966
00:34:26,142 --> 00:34:27,893
- Get down!
- [YELLS]
967
00:34:29,895 --> 00:34:32,189
[♪♪♪]
968
00:34:33,858 --> 00:34:35,901
[KIDS CHATTERING]
969
00:34:42,533 --> 00:34:45,119
Whoa.
This place even looks evil.
970
00:34:45,161 --> 00:34:47,079
TED: It's just a school.
971
00:34:47,121 --> 00:34:48,831
You're overreacting.
972
00:34:48,873 --> 00:34:50,082
And so is BabyCorp.
973
00:34:50,124 --> 00:34:51,375
No, I'm telling you,
974
00:34:51,417 --> 00:34:53,294
this school is stressing Tabitha out.
975
00:34:53,335 --> 00:34:55,045
Tabitha can handle it.
976
00:34:55,087 --> 00:34:57,173
She's a real chip off the old block.
977
00:34:57,214 --> 00:34:59,175
- Wait, who's the block?
- I'm the block.
978
00:34:59,216 --> 00:35:01,010
Well, you can't be the block.
I'm the block.
979
00:35:01,051 --> 00:35:02,511
Then start acting like a block.
980
00:35:02,553 --> 00:35:04,346
Wh-What does that mean?
I'm the block.
981
00:35:04,388 --> 00:35:06,241
- I've always been the block.
- Yeah. Not even close.
982
00:35:06,265 --> 00:35:07,683
TIM: All I do is block.
983
00:35:07,725 --> 00:35:09,268
I wake up in the morning,
I block.
984
00:35:09,310 --> 00:35:11,145
- [KIDS GRUNTING]
- I go to sleep, blocking.
985
00:35:11,187 --> 00:35:13,522
- I'm the block.
- Tim, enough.
986
00:35:14,482 --> 00:35:16,126
- I'm the block.
- No, you're not! Stop it!
987
00:35:16,150 --> 00:35:17,401
- Shh.
- [WHISTLE BLOWS]
988
00:35:17,443 --> 00:35:18,778
[CHUCKLES]
Sweet.
989
00:35:18,819 --> 00:35:20,237
Suckers.
990
00:35:20,279 --> 00:35:22,215
[AUTOMATED VOICE] Children only beyond this point.
- Hey.
991
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:25,284
No crying is permitted
in the separation zone.
992
00:35:25,326 --> 00:35:26,869
Okay, looks like we got to split up.
993
00:35:26,911 --> 00:35:28,329
Good. I could use a break.
994
00:35:28,370 --> 00:35:30,456
- TABITHA: Bye, Mom.
- All right, bye, honey.
995
00:35:30,498 --> 00:35:32,041
[GASPS, YELLS]
There's Tabitha.
996
00:35:32,083 --> 00:35:34,418
- I'll see you after school.
- Okay.
997
00:35:34,460 --> 00:35:36,504
[WINDOW SQUEAKING]
998
00:35:37,296 --> 00:35:39,215
TED: Apparently, there's no "A"
999
00:35:39,256 --> 00:35:41,425
in "teamwork," either.
1000
00:35:41,467 --> 00:35:42,927
All right, let's boogie.
1001
00:35:42,968 --> 00:35:44,762
[GRUNTS]
Not so fast.
1002
00:35:44,804 --> 00:35:47,306
I'm blue. You're yellow.
1003
00:35:47,348 --> 00:35:49,934
[LAUGHING]
You're over there in the choo-choo.
1004
00:35:49,975 --> 00:35:51,560
[RAUCOUS LAUGHTER]
1005
00:35:51,602 --> 00:35:54,021
Aw. It's full of babies.
1006
00:35:54,063 --> 00:35:55,439
Is it?
I didn't notice.
1007
00:35:55,481 --> 00:35:57,900
[LAUGHING]
Just kidding. It's hilarious.
1008
00:35:57,942 --> 00:35:59,527
Uh, wait. Your tie's crooked.
1009
00:35:59,568 --> 00:36:00,986
- [FINGERS SNAP]
- Okay, Tim, focus.
1010
00:36:01,028 --> 00:36:03,739
We'll meet outside
Armstrong's office at 11:15.
1011
00:36:03,781 --> 00:36:05,741
We'll sneak in,
and we'll plant the bugs.
1012
00:36:05,783 --> 00:36:06,909
Are you focused?
1013
00:36:06,951 --> 00:36:08,119
Hey, what the...
1014
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,162
- Oh, I am focused, all right.
- No, no.
1015
00:36:10,204 --> 00:36:11,497
I'm not yellow. I'm blue.
1016
00:36:11,539 --> 00:36:13,582
11:30. Stick to the plan.
1017
00:36:13,624 --> 00:36:14,625
11:15.
1018
00:36:14,667 --> 00:36:16,627
15. Got it.
The block is focused.
1019
00:36:16,669 --> 00:36:19,463
- I'm blue! Aah! I'm blue.
- [BABIES LAUGHING]
1020
00:36:20,423 --> 00:36:22,425
Don't you understand?
I'm blue!
1021
00:36:22,466 --> 00:36:24,427
[OVER SPEAKERS]ARMSTRONG: Welcome, children.
1022
00:36:24,468 --> 00:36:25,803
Willkommen.
1023
00:36:25,845 --> 00:36:27,263
Bienvenue.
1024
00:36:27,304 --> 00:36:28,431
Annyeonghaseyo.
1025
00:36:28,472 --> 00:36:30,307
And buenos días.
1026
00:36:30,349 --> 00:36:34,270
Thank you for choosing to be excellent.
1027
00:36:34,311 --> 00:36:35,831
- Please don't touch me.
- [BABIES LAUGHING]
1028
00:36:35,855 --> 00:36:38,190
This is some ridiculous mistake.
1029
00:36:38,232 --> 00:36:39,692
I'm blue! I'm blue!
1030
00:36:39,733 --> 00:36:41,444
♪ The wheels on the bus
go pi R-squared ♪
1031
00:36:41,485 --> 00:36:43,779
- ♪ Circumference all around. ♪
- Yes.
1032
00:36:46,991 --> 00:36:48,284
TIM: Hello.
1033
00:36:48,325 --> 00:36:50,077
Uh, hello.
1034
00:36:50,119 --> 00:36:51,787
Nice plant.
1035
00:36:51,829 --> 00:36:54,290
This is my emotional support plant.
1036
00:36:54,331 --> 00:36:56,125
Hi. I-I'm new here.
1037
00:36:56,167 --> 00:37:00,337
Said nihonium to the other
elements in the periodic table.
1038
00:37:00,379 --> 00:37:02,256
- Ooh.
- [LAUGHTER]
1039
00:37:02,298 --> 00:37:03,799
Okay.
1040
00:37:03,841 --> 00:37:05,468
Can't sit here.
1041
00:37:05,509 --> 00:37:07,303
Or here. Or there.
1042
00:37:07,344 --> 00:37:08,804
[YELLS]
1043
00:37:08,846 --> 00:37:12,600
Seating position is determined by class rank.
1044
00:37:12,641 --> 00:37:14,727
We can't possibly include your data,
1045
00:37:14,769 --> 00:37:17,146
given that the rigor
of your previous school
1046
00:37:17,188 --> 00:37:19,064
is an unknown variable.
1047
00:37:19,106 --> 00:37:20,316
- STUDENTS: Ooh.
- [LAUGHS]
1048
00:37:20,357 --> 00:37:21,942
- Sick burn, Nathan.
- [GRUNTS]
1049
00:37:21,984 --> 00:37:23,194
- [GROANS]
- Ow.
1050
00:37:23,235 --> 00:37:24,320
Here.
1051
00:37:24,361 --> 00:37:26,489
- You can take my seat.
- [SIGHS]
1052
00:37:26,530 --> 00:37:28,949
I'm so proud of you.
1053
00:37:28,991 --> 00:37:30,951
I mean... thanks.
1054
00:37:30,993 --> 00:37:32,453
Okay...
1055
00:37:32,495 --> 00:37:33,996
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
1056
00:37:34,038 --> 00:37:35,331
ARMSTRONG: Good morning.
1057
00:37:35,372 --> 00:37:36,767
STUDENTS: Good morning, Dr. Armstrong!
1058
00:37:36,791 --> 00:37:39,126
[CHUCKLES]
Very warm welcome. Thank you.
1059
00:37:39,168 --> 00:37:40,461
Huh?
1060
00:37:40,503 --> 00:37:42,505
As you can see,
we've got a new colleague
1061
00:37:42,546 --> 00:37:44,298
joining us today.
1062
00:37:44,340 --> 00:37:45,800
- Ooh.
- Hello.
1063
00:37:45,841 --> 00:37:47,611
New colleague, why don't you
introduce yourself.
1064
00:37:47,635 --> 00:37:50,679
Uh, my name's Ti... um, Marcos.
1065
00:37:50,721 --> 00:37:53,099
- Hmm.
- Marcos Lightspeed.
1066
00:37:53,140 --> 00:37:55,684
Marcos Lightspeed.
1067
00:37:55,726 --> 00:37:58,270
Yeah. Colorful, characterful,
and I like it.
1068
00:37:58,312 --> 00:37:59,897
- In any case...
- [GASPS]
1069
00:37:59,939 --> 00:38:02,525
- ...welcome, Marcos, to Blue Unit.
- [GASPS]
1070
00:38:02,566 --> 00:38:04,318
Our most advanced class.
1071
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:07,154
Ooh, this is rarefied air
1072
00:38:07,196 --> 00:38:08,489
- we're breathing.
- [GROANS]
1073
00:38:08,531 --> 00:38:10,407
Here at The Acorn Center, we believe
1074
00:38:10,449 --> 00:38:12,493
that all competition is...
1075
00:38:12,535 --> 00:38:15,037
STUDENTS: Healthy competition.
1076
00:38:15,079 --> 00:38:17,498
[BABIES YELLING, LAUGHING]
1077
00:38:17,540 --> 00:38:19,917
[NOISEMAKERS BLARING]
1078
00:38:23,587 --> 00:38:26,966
I'm trapped in the dum-dum holding tank.
1079
00:38:27,007 --> 00:38:30,344
[GASPS]
I'm having a panic attack.
1080
00:38:30,386 --> 00:38:32,763
There must be a way out of here.
1081
00:38:35,766 --> 00:38:37,893
Something doesn't smell right.
1082
00:38:37,935 --> 00:38:40,020
[SNIFFS]
Blueberry.
1083
00:38:40,062 --> 00:38:41,772
[LAUGHING]
1084
00:38:41,814 --> 00:38:43,983
[WHISPERS]
I have to get out of here.
1085
00:38:44,024 --> 00:38:45,234
Hi.
1086
00:38:45,276 --> 00:38:46,735
Don't look at me.
1087
00:38:46,777 --> 00:38:48,737
- Okay.
- [BABY LAUGHING]
1088
00:38:48,779 --> 00:38:51,031
And our first subject today is...
1089
00:38:51,073 --> 00:38:53,159
No fractions, no fractions,
no fractions. Whoa!
1090
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:55,911
Particle physics.
1091
00:38:55,953 --> 00:38:57,079
Yes! What?
1092
00:38:57,121 --> 00:38:58,205
Yes!
[LAUGHS]
1093
00:38:58,247 --> 00:38:59,707
Who knows which scientist
1094
00:38:59,749 --> 00:39:01,959
first theorized that the universe has a limit
1095
00:39:02,001 --> 00:39:04,670
beyond which the laws of physics break down?
1096
00:39:04,712 --> 00:39:06,255
[STUDENTS CLAMORING]
1097
00:39:06,297 --> 00:39:08,007
Wow. Everybody seems to know.
1098
00:39:08,048 --> 00:39:11,510
- [SIGHS, GASPS]
- Señor Lightspeed.
1099
00:39:11,552 --> 00:39:15,055
Um, Dr. Flam... baisley?
1100
00:39:15,097 --> 00:39:17,933
- [BUZZER SOUNDS]
- Oh, that's the wrong answer.
1101
00:39:17,975 --> 00:39:20,770
His brain sure doesn't move at light speed.
1102
00:39:20,811 --> 00:39:21,937
[LAUGHTER]
1103
00:39:21,979 --> 00:39:23,564
- ARMSTRONG: Uh, okay.
- I know, right?
1104
00:39:23,606 --> 00:39:25,441
- Anybody else?
- Right here.
1105
00:39:25,483 --> 00:39:26,859
- Max Planck.
- [BELL DINGS]
1106
00:39:26,901 --> 00:39:28,360
ARMSTRONG: That's correct.
1107
00:39:28,402 --> 00:39:29,779
Tabitha has set the bar.
1108
00:39:29,820 --> 00:39:31,489
First one on the board.
Ding, ding, ding.
1109
00:39:31,530 --> 00:39:33,616
Way to go, Tabitha.
1110
00:39:33,657 --> 00:39:36,118
You're going down, Templeton.
1111
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:37,578
Bring it on, Nathan.
1112
00:39:37,620 --> 00:39:38,788
Yeah, Tabitha. Get him.
1113
00:39:38,829 --> 00:39:41,332
ARMSTRONG: Next subject.
1114
00:39:41,373 --> 00:39:42,958
Ancient Greek.
1115
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,795
- STUDENTS: Opa!
- Oprah! [CHUCKLES]
1116
00:39:45,836 --> 00:39:47,963
- [LAUGHTER, BABBLING]
- Attention.
1117
00:39:48,005 --> 00:39:49,840
Attention, everyone.
1118
00:39:49,882 --> 00:39:52,551
Who wants to play Shawshank?
1119
00:39:52,593 --> 00:39:54,053
- No!
- BABIES: Huh?
1120
00:39:54,887 --> 00:39:58,057
Who wants to go outside and play?
1121
00:39:58,099 --> 00:40:01,185
- [CHEERING]
- Does that sound fun? Good.
1122
00:40:01,227 --> 00:40:03,145
Now, anybody have any ideas?
1123
00:40:03,187 --> 00:40:04,480
- BABY: No!
- Come on, people.
1124
00:40:04,522 --> 00:40:05,624
Think, think, think, think, think.
1125
00:40:05,648 --> 00:40:06,875
We need to think outside the box.
1126
00:40:06,899 --> 00:40:08,335
- Oh, oh, oh! Me, me! Oh!
- You, Bo-Peep.
1127
00:40:08,359 --> 00:40:11,403
We can build a hot-air balloon
1128
00:40:11,445 --> 00:40:13,364
out of Popsicle sticks and bubble gum!
1129
00:40:13,405 --> 00:40:14,698
[LAUGHING]
1130
00:40:14,740 --> 00:40:16,408
And how would it fly?
1131
00:40:16,450 --> 00:40:18,327
- Pixie dust!
- [LAUGHING, CHEERING]
1132
00:40:18,369 --> 00:40:19,870
Get back in the box, Bo-Peep.
1133
00:40:19,912 --> 00:40:22,164
- All the way in?
- All the way in.
1134
00:40:22,206 --> 00:40:24,375
- Yay!
- Ooh. Uh, can we get in the box, too?
1135
00:40:24,417 --> 00:40:26,419
- Can we? Can we?
- BABY: Glue.
1136
00:40:26,460 --> 00:40:28,379
I like glue.
1137
00:40:28,421 --> 00:40:29,588
Who doesn't?
1138
00:40:29,630 --> 00:40:31,048
But we're trying to brainstorm here.
1139
00:40:31,090 --> 00:40:32,341
Glue's good.
1140
00:40:32,383 --> 00:40:34,051
[LAUGHING WILDLY]
1141
00:40:34,093 --> 00:40:36,846
- Think, think, think, think, think, think...
- [GROANS]
1142
00:40:36,887 --> 00:40:40,015
...think, think, think, think,
think, think, think, think!
1143
00:40:40,057 --> 00:40:41,517
Bingo.
1144
00:40:41,559 --> 00:40:42,852
Next subject.
1145
00:40:42,893 --> 00:40:45,521
X is equal to the derivative of...
1146
00:40:45,563 --> 00:40:46,814
- NATHAN: Ooh, me!
- Itself.
1147
00:40:46,856 --> 00:40:48,482
ARMSTRONG: Kudos for Tabitha.
1148
00:40:48,524 --> 00:40:49,984
Wow. You knew that?
1149
00:40:50,025 --> 00:40:53,320
The world's leading producer of bauxite is...
1150
00:40:53,362 --> 00:40:54,822
- NATHAN: Oh!
- Australia.
1151
00:40:54,864 --> 00:40:56,216
ARMSTRONG: Once again, Tabitha's on the board.
1152
00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:58,451
- Very good.
- Yes, Tabitha! [APPLAUSE]
1153
00:40:58,492 --> 00:41:00,077
We got 15 minutes, people.
1154
00:41:00,119 --> 00:41:02,246
The difference in "try" and "triumph"
1155
00:41:02,288 --> 00:41:04,039
is just a little oomph.
1156
00:41:04,081 --> 00:41:07,168
- BABIES: Oomph!
- Go big or go home.
1157
00:41:07,209 --> 00:41:08,794
Okay. Going home.
1158
00:41:08,836 --> 00:41:10,588
- Let's pick up the pace.
- No!
1159
00:41:10,629 --> 00:41:13,632
Hand downs, Norma Rae.
This is my time.
1160
00:41:13,674 --> 00:41:15,801
To be, or not to be?
Tabitha.
1161
00:41:15,843 --> 00:41:17,403
- To be.
- That's correct. [BELL DINGS]
1162
00:41:17,428 --> 00:41:21,390
Can anyone tell me
the horsepower of a 302 engine?
1163
00:41:21,432 --> 00:41:23,225
- Uh, seven?
- [BUZZER SOUNDS]
1164
00:41:23,267 --> 00:41:24,977
- ARMSTRONG: Oh, boy.
- Weak sauce, Nathan.
1165
00:41:25,019 --> 00:41:26,562
- That was weak.
- [GROANS]
1166
00:41:26,604 --> 00:41:27,831
Tabitha, do you have an idea about that?
1167
00:41:27,855 --> 00:41:30,399
300 horsepower with a four-barrel carb.
1168
00:41:30,441 --> 00:41:31,710
- [BELL DINGS]TIM: Wow.
- [GROANS]
1169
00:41:31,734 --> 00:41:33,569
- Her dad must be a genius.
- [APPLAUSE]
1170
00:41:33,611 --> 00:41:36,113
On my signal, unleash heck.
1171
00:41:36,906 --> 00:41:39,033
- Fire!
- [BABIES GRUNT]
1172
00:41:40,034 --> 00:41:42,620
- [BABIES CHEERING]
- Yes!
1173
00:41:43,871 --> 00:41:45,956
- I found a cure!
- [CHEERING]
1174
00:41:45,998 --> 00:41:47,750
- [BELL DINGS]
- Yes! Yes! She did it!
1175
00:41:47,792 --> 00:41:48,959
She did it.
1176
00:41:49,001 --> 00:41:50,586
- [STUDENTS GASP]
- [BUZZERS SOUNDING]
1177
00:41:50,628 --> 00:41:52,254
STUDENTS: Marcos!
1178
00:41:52,296 --> 00:41:54,548
I did it. I did it.
1179
00:41:54,590 --> 00:41:56,425
[BABIES CHEERING]
1180
00:41:56,467 --> 00:42:00,346
Remember, your size doesn't
determine your strength.
1181
00:42:01,889 --> 00:42:04,266
Well, so far,
it's Tabitha number one
1182
00:42:04,308 --> 00:42:05,768
and everybody else last.
1183
00:42:05,810 --> 00:42:08,437
- [CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
- [GROANS, SOBS]
1184
00:42:08,479 --> 00:42:11,065
[♪♪♪]
1185
00:42:15,319 --> 00:42:16,487
Psst. Hey, Tabitha.
1186
00:42:16,529 --> 00:42:17,738
You're really...
1187
00:42:17,780 --> 00:42:20,366
- A geek. I know.
- No.
1188
00:42:20,407 --> 00:42:22,284
You're amazing.
1189
00:42:22,326 --> 00:42:24,620
Oh. Thanks, Marcos.
1190
00:42:24,662 --> 00:42:28,124
You'll be singing
a different tune at rehearsal.
1191
00:42:28,165 --> 00:42:30,209
The wrong tune.
1192
00:42:30,251 --> 00:42:31,419
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1193
00:42:31,460 --> 00:42:32,711
You're so funny.
1194
00:42:32,753 --> 00:42:34,422
Hilarious!
1195
00:42:37,007 --> 00:42:39,468
And yeah, Templeton, don't be late.
1196
00:42:39,510 --> 00:42:41,178
- [LAUGHS]
- [GASPS] Late.
1197
00:42:41,220 --> 00:42:43,305
- I'm late.
- ARMSTRONG: Next subject.
1198
00:42:43,347 --> 00:42:44,515
Yes!
1199
00:42:44,557 --> 00:42:46,475
[STRAINING]
Just a little further.
1200
00:42:46,517 --> 00:42:49,603
[BABIES GIGGLING, BABBLING]
1201
00:42:49,645 --> 00:42:50,813
Glue!
1202
00:42:50,855 --> 00:42:52,648
[YELLS, SCREAMS]
1203
00:42:52,690 --> 00:42:53,834
- TIM: Excuse me.
- [ENGINE REVVING]
1204
00:42:53,858 --> 00:42:55,109
Yes, Marcos.
1205
00:42:55,151 --> 00:42:57,945
Can I have a hall pass?
I have to go.
1206
00:42:57,987 --> 00:43:00,489
ARMSTRONG: Voilà. Feel free.
1207
00:43:00,531 --> 00:43:02,158
[SCOFFS]
Now what?
1208
00:43:02,199 --> 00:43:03,951
- [GRUNTS] Now what?
- [BABIES CRYING]
1209
00:43:03,993 --> 00:43:05,578
Glue!
1210
00:43:05,619 --> 00:43:07,455
Glue is bad!
1211
00:43:07,496 --> 00:43:09,165
[WHIMPERING]
1212
00:43:09,206 --> 00:43:10,332
Glue.
1213
00:43:10,374 --> 00:43:12,793
[GASPS]
Glue is good.
1214
00:43:12,835 --> 00:43:16,172
How to get to the principal's office.
1215
00:43:16,213 --> 00:43:17,673
Of course.
1216
00:43:17,715 --> 00:43:20,593
You get sent to the principal's office.
1217
00:43:20,634 --> 00:43:22,762
["IT'S TRICKY" BY RUN-D.M.C. PLAYING]
1218
00:43:22,803 --> 00:43:25,097
- Booyah!
- [STUDENTS GASP]
1219
00:43:25,139 --> 00:43:28,142
♪ I think it's very vital
to rock a rhyme... ♪
1220
00:43:28,184 --> 00:43:30,186
♪ Here we go, it's tricky
to rock a rhyme ♪
1221
00:43:30,227 --> 00:43:34,106
♪ To rock a rhyme that's right
on time, it's tricky ♪
1222
00:43:34,148 --> 00:43:36,442
♪ It's tricky, tricky,
tricky, tricky ♪
1223
00:43:36,484 --> 00:43:38,152
♪ It's tricky to rock a rhyme ♪
1224
00:43:38,194 --> 00:43:40,696
♪ To rock a rhyme that's right
on time, it's tricky... ♪
1225
00:43:40,738 --> 00:43:42,531
What's up, y'all?
1226
00:43:42,573 --> 00:43:44,617
School is...
1227
00:43:44,658 --> 00:43:46,160
- stupid.
- [STUDENTS GASP]
1228
00:43:46,202 --> 00:43:48,913
[STATICKY] Listen, you know,
I acknowledge your anger.
1229
00:43:48,954 --> 00:43:51,707
It's, uh, very, uh, feisty,
but please sit down.
1230
00:43:51,749 --> 00:43:54,418
- Okay. Uh, no.
- [STUDENTS GASP]
1231
00:43:54,460 --> 00:43:57,213
Sitting is... stupid!
1232
00:43:57,254 --> 00:43:59,715
- He's such a bad boy.
- STUDENTS: Ooh.
1233
00:43:59,757 --> 00:44:01,967
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY THROUGH STATIC]
1234
00:44:02,009 --> 00:44:03,928
♪ It's tricky to rock a rhyme ♪
1235
00:44:03,969 --> 00:44:06,555
♪ To rock a rhyme that's right
on time, it's tricky ♪
1236
00:44:06,597 --> 00:44:09,058
- ♪ How is it, D? ♪
- ♪ It's tricky, tricky... ♪
1237
00:44:09,100 --> 00:44:12,311
All right. I'm afraid you can't
disrupt class any longer.
1238
00:44:12,353 --> 00:44:16,107
Oh, no. Are we gonna have
a talk in your office?
1239
00:44:16,148 --> 00:44:17,733
No.
1240
00:44:17,775 --> 00:44:19,920
- You are gonna have a time-out.
- [GASPING]STUDENTS: The Box?
1241
00:44:19,944 --> 00:44:21,904
- He's going in the Box.
- [MURMURING]
1242
00:44:21,946 --> 00:44:24,406
No, the Box makes you crazy.
1243
00:44:24,448 --> 00:44:25,908
The Box?
1244
00:44:25,950 --> 00:44:29,578
♪ Sail away, sail away, sail away ♪
1245
00:44:29,620 --> 00:44:32,415
[GROANS]♪ Sail away, sail away ♪
1246
00:44:32,456 --> 00:44:33,874
- ♪ Sail away... ♪
- [GRUNTS]
1247
00:44:33,916 --> 00:44:36,127
- ARMSTRONG: Sayonara, Marcos.
- [GASPS]
1248
00:44:36,168 --> 00:44:38,712
[AUTOMATED VOICE]
Your time-out begins now.
1249
00:44:38,754 --> 00:44:40,089
Relax.
1250
00:44:40,131 --> 00:44:42,258
- Wait!
- [MUSIC STOPS]
1251
00:44:42,299 --> 00:44:44,635
[CHILD CRYING]
1252
00:44:44,677 --> 00:44:46,345
[ROBOT VOICE]
Don't cry.
1253
00:44:46,387 --> 00:44:48,264
There, there. All better.
1254
00:44:48,305 --> 00:44:50,599
[TED GRUNTING]
1255
00:44:50,641 --> 00:44:51,767
[MUFFLED GRUNTING]
1256
00:44:51,809 --> 00:44:53,811
[YELLS, MUMBLES]
1257
00:44:53,853 --> 00:44:56,939
[GRUNTING, SPITTING]
1258
00:44:57,773 --> 00:45:00,359
[SIGHS]
It's like they always say:
1259
00:45:00,401 --> 00:45:02,236
If you want something done right,
1260
00:45:02,278 --> 00:45:04,947
you have to do it without your brother!
1261
00:45:05,823 --> 00:45:08,909
We meet again, doorknob.
1262
00:45:10,453 --> 00:45:12,288
[GRUNTING]
1263
00:45:12,329 --> 00:45:13,956
[DOOR CREAKING]
1264
00:45:14,749 --> 00:45:16,417
ARMSTRONG: Hello.
1265
00:45:16,459 --> 00:45:17,918
Welcome, welcome.
1266
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:19,837
Please come in. Entrez vous?
1267
00:45:19,879 --> 00:45:21,297
You're here.
1268
00:45:21,338 --> 00:45:22,840
Oh, yes. I...
1269
00:45:22,882 --> 00:45:25,050
I was expecting you.
1270
00:45:25,885 --> 00:45:27,970
I...
[GRUNTS, YELLS]
1271
00:45:28,012 --> 00:45:28,971
[BUTTON BEEPS]
1272
00:45:29,013 --> 00:45:31,307
I expected that you
1273
00:45:31,348 --> 00:45:34,393
would be expecting me, so there.
1274
00:45:34,435 --> 00:45:37,938
Oh, and, uh, by the way,
I know why you're here,
1275
00:45:37,980 --> 00:45:39,982
- so, uh... so there.
- [BUTTON BEEPS]
1276
00:45:40,024 --> 00:45:42,818
[CHUCKLES]
You do?
1277
00:45:42,860 --> 00:45:45,112
- Mm-hmm. Yes, I do.
- [BUTTON BEEPS]
1278
00:45:45,154 --> 00:45:46,822
- [WHIRRING]
- Have a seat, please.
1279
00:45:46,864 --> 00:45:48,240
[GRUNTS]
Thank you.
1280
00:45:48,282 --> 00:45:49,950
- You know what you are?
- Mm?
1281
00:45:49,992 --> 00:45:54,330
You are, if I may,
extremely intelligent.
1282
00:45:54,371 --> 00:45:55,831
Go on.
[GRUNTS]
1283
00:45:55,873 --> 00:45:57,476
Uh, as a matter of fact,
I've been observing you.
1284
00:45:57,500 --> 00:45:58,626
[BUTTON BEEPS]
1285
00:45:58,667 --> 00:46:00,586
Spends time wisely. Check.
1286
00:46:00,628 --> 00:46:03,255
Makes good use of
classroom materials. Check.
1287
00:46:03,297 --> 00:46:05,841
Keeps hands to self. Check.
1288
00:46:05,883 --> 00:46:07,384
Hey, forget
"works well with others."
1289
00:46:07,426 --> 00:46:10,513
You make others work well for you.
1290
00:46:10,554 --> 00:46:13,933
That's literally the title
of the book I'm working on.
1291
00:46:13,974 --> 00:46:16,185
No kidding.
You had no business
1292
00:46:16,227 --> 00:46:18,312
being in Yellow Level, did you?
1293
00:46:18,354 --> 00:46:20,689
- It was sabotage.
- Sabotage. Exactly.
1294
00:46:20,731 --> 00:46:23,275
Jealousy, fear.
Hey, I faced the same obstacles.
1295
00:46:23,317 --> 00:46:26,904
In fact, you know,
you remind me a lot of myself
1296
00:46:26,946 --> 00:46:29,365
when I was your age,
1297
00:46:29,406 --> 00:46:32,201
which is now.
1298
00:46:32,243 --> 00:46:33,661
[GRUNTS]
1299
00:46:35,621 --> 00:46:36,705
What?
1300
00:46:36,747 --> 00:46:38,040
[LAUGHS]
1301
00:46:38,082 --> 00:46:41,377
Surprise, surprise.
1302
00:46:41,419 --> 00:46:43,879
What the frittata?
1303
00:46:43,921 --> 00:46:45,005
Well put.
1304
00:46:45,047 --> 00:46:47,466
He's a ba... You're a baby.
1305
00:46:47,508 --> 00:46:50,052
I repeat, you're a baby.
1306
00:46:50,094 --> 00:46:52,555
So surprised, you said it twice.
[CHUCKLES]
1307
00:46:52,596 --> 00:46:54,056
[LAUGHS]
1308
00:46:54,098 --> 00:46:57,560
Unfortunately, people are, uh,
not ready for a...
1309
00:46:57,601 --> 00:46:59,812
a baby in a position of power.
1310
00:46:59,854 --> 00:47:01,355
Yet.
1311
00:47:01,397 --> 00:47:04,066
Remind me to get the number
of your muttonchop guy.
1312
00:47:04,108 --> 00:47:06,902
You know, I could use somebody like you.
1313
00:47:06,944 --> 00:47:10,865
With a superior intelligence like my own.
1314
00:47:10,906 --> 00:47:13,576
- Uh... really?
- Mmm.
1315
00:47:13,617 --> 00:47:14,994
Somebody who can, uh...
1316
00:47:15,035 --> 00:47:17,163
Mmm.
[CRUNCHING]
1317
00:47:17,204 --> 00:47:18,581
- Mmm. Yeah.
- [GASPS]
1318
00:47:18,622 --> 00:47:21,333
Truly comprehend
what I'm trying to accomplish.
1319
00:47:21,375 --> 00:47:24,086
- Well, you're looking at him.
- Bingo.
1320
00:47:24,128 --> 00:47:26,297
Mmm. We have a secret level.
1321
00:47:26,338 --> 00:47:27,965
Mmm.
For very special babies.
1322
00:47:28,007 --> 00:47:29,467
Mmm. The best of the best.
1323
00:47:29,508 --> 00:47:30,718
Ah. The elite.
1324
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:31,761
Beyond blue?
1325
00:47:31,802 --> 00:47:33,804
Oh, yeah. Way beyond.
1326
00:47:33,846 --> 00:47:35,806
Way beyond. Ooh.
1327
00:47:35,848 --> 00:47:37,933
Mmm. There's a meeting today...
1328
00:47:37,975 --> 00:47:39,685
[SLURPS]
...after school.
1329
00:47:39,727 --> 00:47:41,228
Babies only.
1330
00:47:41,270 --> 00:47:44,106
We may be small, but we're
about to teach grown-ups
1331
00:47:44,148 --> 00:47:46,484
a big lesson.
1332
00:47:47,860 --> 00:47:49,779
Mmm. Lolly?
1333
00:47:49,820 --> 00:47:51,113
- Okay.
- [SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
1334
00:47:51,155 --> 00:47:52,656
Oh. Time for recess.
1335
00:47:52,698 --> 00:47:54,158
- Bye-bye.
- [BUTTON BEEPS]
1336
00:47:54,867 --> 00:47:56,911
[SINGSONGY]
Sayonara...
1337
00:47:56,952 --> 00:47:58,496
[GROANS]
1338
00:47:59,538 --> 00:48:01,290
[GRUNTS]
1339
00:48:01,332 --> 00:48:03,542
Well, I think that went well.
1340
00:48:04,668 --> 00:48:06,468
- [RECORDED]TED: You're a baby.
- TINA: What?
1341
00:48:06,504 --> 00:48:08,506
- I repeat, you're a baby.
- [SCOFFS]
1342
00:48:08,547 --> 00:48:10,716
Is he talking to me?
He better not be talking to me,
1343
00:48:10,758 --> 00:48:12,218
because I'll... Armstrong?
1344
00:48:12,259 --> 00:48:13,969
[CHUCKLES]
You're right, Connie.
1345
00:48:14,011 --> 00:48:15,513
He's talking about Armstrong.
1346
00:48:15,554 --> 00:48:17,324
- I don't know what has gotten into her.
- [GASPS]
1347
00:48:17,348 --> 00:48:20,976
- But she's acting strange, Dr. Federman.
- [LAUGHING]
1348
00:48:21,018 --> 00:48:23,229
Isn't it a bit early for terrible twos?
1349
00:48:23,270 --> 00:48:25,106
Is there terrible ones?
Is that a thing?
1350
00:48:25,147 --> 00:48:26,649
Oh, piano-playing bunny, you slay me.
1351
00:48:26,690 --> 00:48:28,234
Okey dokey.
1352
00:48:28,275 --> 00:48:32,571
We need some eyes on the prize,
visual confirmation here.
1353
00:48:32,613 --> 00:48:33,864
[SNORING]
1354
00:48:33,906 --> 00:48:36,117
Oh, Daddy.
1355
00:48:36,158 --> 00:48:38,202
If I were there, I'd pinch you so hard.
1356
00:48:38,244 --> 00:48:40,079
[SLEEPILY]♪ Sail away, sail away... ♪
1357
00:48:40,121 --> 00:48:41,914
[AUTOMATED VOICE]
Your time-out has concluded.
1358
00:48:41,956 --> 00:48:43,833
Sail away! What time is it?
1359
00:48:43,874 --> 00:48:45,543
[AUTOMATED VOICE]
It is time for recess.
1360
00:48:45,584 --> 00:48:47,586
I'm late, I'm late,
I'm late, I'm late. Come on.
1361
00:48:47,628 --> 00:48:49,588
[CHUCKLING]
He'll understand, right?
1362
00:48:49,630 --> 00:48:51,424
[GASPS] Okay.
Where is he? Where is he?
1363
00:48:51,465 --> 00:48:54,802
- Where is he? Uh...
- [KIDS CHATTERING, WHOOPING]
1364
00:48:54,844 --> 00:48:56,762
- Oomph! Yeah, baby!
- [CHEERING]
1365
00:48:56,804 --> 00:48:58,347
No, not my bows.
1366
00:48:58,389 --> 00:49:01,725
- But they're not your bows... anymore.
- [SOBBING]
1367
00:49:01,767 --> 00:49:04,728
Yep, where there's crying,
there's my brother.
1368
00:49:06,355 --> 00:49:09,525
[PLAYING "MAY" FROM THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION]
1369
00:49:09,567 --> 00:49:11,735
[WHISPERS]BABY: Psst. Here you go.
1370
00:49:11,777 --> 00:49:13,320
BABY #2: Cool.
1371
00:49:14,071 --> 00:49:16,407
[GRUNTING]
Glue. Glue. Glue.
1372
00:49:19,326 --> 00:49:21,078
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, blue.
- Whoa!
1373
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:22,872
Where do you think youse going?
You lost?
1374
00:49:22,913 --> 00:49:23,873
Could you let me through,
please?
1375
00:49:23,914 --> 00:49:25,332
No!
1376
00:49:25,374 --> 00:49:28,043
So, what, did you flunk
coloring class, kid?
1377
00:49:28,085 --> 00:49:29,670
- [LAUGHTER]
- Really, guy?
1378
00:49:30,629 --> 00:49:32,381
Mmm, cherry.
1379
00:49:32,423 --> 00:49:33,382
Go on.
1380
00:49:33,424 --> 00:49:34,776
- Blues on the other side.
- [GROANS]
1381
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:36,093
TED: Let him through.
1382
00:49:36,135 --> 00:49:37,219
Okay, he's cool.
1383
00:49:37,261 --> 00:49:38,637
TIM: See? I'm cool.
1384
00:49:38,679 --> 00:49:39,889
I'm cool.
1385
00:49:39,930 --> 00:49:41,724
You failed me, Tim.
1386
00:49:41,766 --> 00:49:43,184
I was desperate.
1387
00:49:43,225 --> 00:49:45,895
I crawled.
I did things with glue
1388
00:49:45,936 --> 00:49:48,314
that I'm not proud of,
but I made it.
1389
00:49:48,355 --> 00:49:50,274
I made it all the way
to Armstrong's office,
1390
00:49:50,316 --> 00:49:52,276
and then where's Tim?
1391
00:49:52,318 --> 00:49:53,486
- I know. I...
- Where's Tim?
1392
00:49:53,527 --> 00:49:55,237
- I tried to...
- Where's Tim?!
1393
00:49:55,279 --> 00:49:57,114
- I was in the Box, okay?
- [BABIES GASPING]
1394
00:49:57,156 --> 00:49:58,365
- TED: The Box?
- The Box?
1395
00:49:58,407 --> 00:49:59,241
Glue.
1396
00:49:59,283 --> 00:50:00,785
Yeah, that's right.
1397
00:50:00,826 --> 00:50:02,036
[WHISPERS]
The Box.
1398
00:50:02,078 --> 00:50:03,412
Show a little respect.
1399
00:50:03,454 --> 00:50:06,332
See, Tim, this is why I work alone.
1400
00:50:06,373 --> 00:50:08,918
- [SIGHS]
- I'll succeed in the mission.
1401
00:50:08,959 --> 00:50:10,461
You can take the pony home.
1402
00:50:10,503 --> 00:50:12,838
The only thing you're ever gonna succeed at
1403
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:13,881
is being alone.
1404
00:50:13,923 --> 00:50:15,091
- Fine.
- Fine!
1405
00:50:15,132 --> 00:50:16,592
Fine!
1406
00:50:16,634 --> 00:50:18,094
I like ponies.
1407
00:50:18,135 --> 00:50:20,471
Aah! Thank you for sharing.
1408
00:50:20,513 --> 00:50:22,807
[PIANO PLAYING GENTLE TUNE]
1409
00:50:25,643 --> 00:50:27,496
- [NATHAN GROANS IN FRUSTRATION]
- [PIANO PLAYS DISCORDANT NOTES]
1410
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:29,105
NATHAN: You are blowing it, Templeton!
1411
00:50:29,146 --> 00:50:30,272
MEGHAN: Yeah, Templeton.
1412
00:50:30,314 --> 00:50:31,690
TABITHA: I'm trying.
1413
00:50:31,732 --> 00:50:34,360
NATHAN: Ugh! You always come in a beat late.
1414
00:50:34,401 --> 00:50:36,862
I'm sorry, Nathan.
I'm doing my best.
1415
00:50:36,904 --> 00:50:40,783
Your best is going to keep me
out of going to Juilliard.
1416
00:50:40,825 --> 00:50:42,743
- Yeah, Templeton.
- It's one, two, three
1417
00:50:42,785 --> 00:50:45,162
- and one, two, three.
- MEGHAN: One, two, three.
1418
00:50:45,204 --> 00:50:46,681
NATHAN & MEGHAN: And one, two, three
1419
00:50:46,705 --> 00:50:49,458
and one, two, three
and one, two, three.
1420
00:50:49,500 --> 00:50:52,795
- And one, two...
- Oh, come on!
1421
00:50:52,837 --> 00:50:54,130
Are you kidding me?
1422
00:50:54,171 --> 00:50:55,798
I just can't do it right now, okay?
1423
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,258
I can't. I just can't.
1424
00:50:57,299 --> 00:50:59,427
- I'll do it tomorrow.
- MEGHAN: Seriously?
1425
00:50:59,468 --> 00:51:01,303
- [SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
- [KIDS CHEERING]
1426
00:51:01,345 --> 00:51:03,556
NATHAN: All right, all right, all right.
1427
00:51:03,597 --> 00:51:05,975
See you at the pageant tomorrow.
1428
00:51:06,016 --> 00:51:07,935
Beat it!
1429
00:51:12,565 --> 00:51:15,734
MEGHAN: Oh, Nathan, Nathan, let me do it.
1430
00:51:15,776 --> 00:51:17,111
Let me do it, Nathan.
1431
00:51:17,153 --> 00:51:18,654
I want to sing the song.
1432
00:51:18,696 --> 00:51:19,989
No.
1433
00:51:20,030 --> 00:51:21,949
I want to see her fail.
1434
00:51:21,991 --> 00:51:23,659
Oh.
1435
00:51:23,701 --> 00:51:25,286
Pure genius.
1436
00:51:25,327 --> 00:51:27,496
- [LAUGHING]
- [PLAYS OMINOUS CHORDS]
1437
00:51:27,538 --> 00:51:29,165
NATHAN: I can't wait.
1438
00:51:29,206 --> 00:51:30,726
- We'll see about that.
- [SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
1439
00:51:30,750 --> 00:51:32,668
[OVER SPEAKER]ARMSTRONG: Goodbye, children.
1440
00:51:32,710 --> 00:51:33,836
Sayonara.
1441
00:51:33,878 --> 00:51:35,171
Auf Wiedersehen.
1442
00:51:35,212 --> 00:51:36,338
Adieu.
1443
00:51:36,380 --> 00:51:38,299
Adios, niños.
1444
00:51:38,340 --> 00:51:39,842
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]
1445
00:51:39,884 --> 00:51:41,343
- [SIGHS]
- [HORSE NEIGHS]
1446
00:51:41,385 --> 00:51:42,970
[TIM GASPS]
1447
00:51:43,012 --> 00:51:44,346
Oh, come on.
1448
00:51:45,222 --> 00:51:46,432
[YELLS]
1449
00:51:47,558 --> 00:51:48,934
[YELPS]
1450
00:51:48,976 --> 00:51:51,353
Oh, my gosh.
1451
00:51:51,395 --> 00:51:54,815
- Stop what you're doing.
- [CHATTER STOPS]
1452
00:51:54,857 --> 00:51:56,192
I see a baby pony.
1453
00:51:56,233 --> 00:51:58,027
- [SCREAMING]
- [EXCITED CHATTER]
1454
00:51:58,068 --> 00:51:59,570
I like ponies.
1455
00:51:59,612 --> 00:52:00,863
STUDENT: Oh, over there!
1456
00:52:00,905 --> 00:52:02,031
- Yes!
- [LAUGHTER]
1457
00:52:02,072 --> 00:52:04,200
It's so cute!
1458
00:52:04,241 --> 00:52:05,993
[EXCITED CHATTER]
1459
00:52:06,035 --> 00:52:08,412
[HORN HONKS]
1460
00:52:12,291 --> 00:52:14,085
That's it? No hello?
1461
00:52:14,126 --> 00:52:16,128
- Not even a "Hi, Mom"?
- What?
1462
00:52:16,170 --> 00:52:18,005
- Hi, Tabitha!
- [GASPS]
1463
00:52:18,047 --> 00:52:19,924
- Oh. Hi.
- [TINA COUGHS]
1464
00:52:20,716 --> 00:52:22,301
What?
You never told me you had
1465
00:52:22,343 --> 00:52:24,178
an older sister who could drive.
1466
00:52:24,220 --> 00:52:25,679
Uh, that's my mom.
1467
00:52:25,721 --> 00:52:27,431
Tabitha, don't interrupt.
[CHUCKLES]
1468
00:52:27,473 --> 00:52:29,534
- Yeah, I'm a new friend of Tabitha's...
- Hey, stop.
1469
00:52:29,558 --> 00:52:31,560
- [MUMBLING]
- Oh, really?
1470
00:52:31,602 --> 00:52:33,395
I-I mean, we just met.
1471
00:52:33,437 --> 00:52:34,456
Well, what's your name,
new friend?
1472
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:36,524
Stop. You're embarrassing me.
1473
00:52:36,565 --> 00:52:38,859
- Marcos. Marcos Lightspeed.
- [HORSE NEIGHS]
1474
00:52:38,901 --> 00:52:40,236
[BABBLES, GRUNTS]
1475
00:52:40,277 --> 00:52:41,612
- Ow!
- CAROL: Tina!
1476
00:52:41,654 --> 00:52:43,072
- What is with you?
- [TIM CHUCKLES]
1477
00:52:43,114 --> 00:52:44,532
Cute kid.
1478
00:52:44,573 --> 00:52:46,492
Well, I better get going
if I'm gonna walk those
1479
00:52:46,534 --> 00:52:49,078
three and a half miles home...
1480
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:50,454
in the snow...
1481
00:52:50,496 --> 00:52:52,081
without a jacket.
1482
00:52:52,123 --> 00:52:53,916
Three and a half miles?
1483
00:52:53,958 --> 00:52:56,752
Three and a half, six--
somewhere in there. [CHUCKLES]
1484
00:52:56,794 --> 00:52:59,130
Yeah, well, that TV dinner
is not gonna microwave itself.
1485
00:52:59,171 --> 00:53:00,548
TV dinner?
1486
00:53:00,589 --> 00:53:02,925
Yeah, I'm a latchkey kid,
so I eat whatever I want.
1487
00:53:02,967 --> 00:53:04,969
- Cartoons are my babysitter.
- [TIRES SCREECH]
1488
00:53:05,010 --> 00:53:06,178
- No.
- Oh, yeah.
1489
00:53:06,220 --> 00:53:08,180
[SCOFFS]
1490
00:53:08,222 --> 00:53:11,475
♪ Strangers in the night ♪
1491
00:53:11,517 --> 00:53:13,978
♪ Exchanging glances ♪
1492
00:53:14,019 --> 00:53:15,271
♪ Lovers... ♪
1493
00:53:15,312 --> 00:53:16,772
What is this?
1494
00:53:16,814 --> 00:53:19,108
Some kind of prank?
1495
00:53:19,150 --> 00:53:20,443
Children can be so cruel.
1496
00:53:20,484 --> 00:53:21,902
- Hello.
- [ELECTRONIC CHIME]
1497
00:53:21,944 --> 00:53:24,738
[SCREAMING]
1498
00:53:24,780 --> 00:53:26,449
[GRUNTS]
1499
00:53:28,909 --> 00:53:30,411
[RETCHES]
1500
00:53:30,453 --> 00:53:32,705
- [GRUNTS]
- [BABIES YELLING, LAUGHING]
1501
00:53:33,914 --> 00:53:35,291
[GRUNTS]
1502
00:53:35,332 --> 00:53:36,876
[RETCHES]
1503
00:53:36,917 --> 00:53:41,005
Whoa. This is exactly like
Bill Gates' rec room...
1504
00:53:41,046 --> 00:53:43,507
but a little smaller.
1505
00:53:44,258 --> 00:53:46,343
[GRUNTING]
1506
00:53:47,303 --> 00:53:49,555
- [STRAINING]
- [SCRAPING]
1507
00:53:52,391 --> 00:53:55,144
What is all this?
1508
00:53:55,186 --> 00:53:57,438
Research and development?
1509
00:53:58,773 --> 00:54:00,983
Product testing?
1510
00:54:02,610 --> 00:54:07,072
Huh. Something tells me
this isn't day care.
1511
00:54:08,115 --> 00:54:10,993
Boy, could I use
a spy camera right about now.
1512
00:54:11,035 --> 00:54:14,538
♪ Sail away, sail away,
sail away. ♪
1513
00:54:15,331 --> 00:54:17,083
Anyway...
1514
00:54:18,751 --> 00:54:21,170
- [GASPS]
- [MUFFLED BABBLING]
1515
00:54:21,212 --> 00:54:22,755
TED: Aw.
1516
00:54:22,797 --> 00:54:25,841
Now, aren't you a cutie
in that little karate outfit.
1517
00:54:25,883 --> 00:54:27,176
[BABY GRUNTS]
1518
00:54:27,218 --> 00:54:28,427
Huh.
1519
00:54:28,469 --> 00:54:30,596
[ALL WHOOPING, GRUNTING]
1520
00:54:30,638 --> 00:54:33,349
Is this some kind of a ninja boy band?
1521
00:54:33,390 --> 00:54:34,558
[SCREAMS]
1522
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:37,186
- Whoa...!
- [BABIES WHOOPING]
1523
00:54:37,228 --> 00:54:39,188
Whoa!
1524
00:54:39,230 --> 00:54:41,023
Oh. Whoa, whoa.
1525
00:54:41,065 --> 00:54:42,942
[ALL GRUNTING, WHOOPING]
1526
00:54:42,983 --> 00:54:45,194
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh!
1527
00:54:45,236 --> 00:54:46,195
[SCREAMS]
1528
00:54:46,237 --> 00:54:47,696
Whoa.
[YELLS]
1529
00:54:47,738 --> 00:54:48,697
I give up.
1530
00:54:48,739 --> 00:54:52,451
Cobra Kai!
Cobra Kai!
1531
00:54:52,493 --> 00:54:55,496
[ALL GRUNTING RAPIDLY]
1532
00:54:55,538 --> 00:54:57,373
TED: Sayonara, baby!
1533
00:54:57,415 --> 00:54:59,417
- Hey, there you are.
- Oh, hello! [COUGHS]
1534
00:54:59,458 --> 00:55:00,751
Thank you.
[SIGHS]
1535
00:55:00,793 --> 00:55:02,545
I see that you've angered my baby ninjas.
1536
00:55:02,586 --> 00:55:03,980
- Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
- [BABY LAUGHS, GRUNTS]
1537
00:55:04,004 --> 00:55:05,732
- Shoo. Shoo. [CHUCKLES]
- [SNEEZES, BABBLES]
1538
00:55:05,756 --> 00:55:07,925
What maniacal underground
fortress doesn't have ninjas?
1539
00:55:07,967 --> 00:55:09,567
- Am I right? [GRUNTS]
- Impressive, huh?
1540
00:55:09,593 --> 00:55:10,886
Pretty impressive.
1541
00:55:10,928 --> 00:55:12,388
What do you think?
What do you think?
1542
00:55:12,430 --> 00:55:13,532
TED: I know tuition is pretty steep,
1543
00:55:13,556 --> 00:55:15,641
but how do you afford all this?
1544
00:55:15,683 --> 00:55:17,601
ARMSTRONG: Oh, that's a good question.
1545
00:55:17,643 --> 00:55:20,187
- I taught babies to code.
- No.
1546
00:55:20,229 --> 00:55:22,207
ARMSTRONG: Yes. And you know
what they say about having
1547
00:55:22,231 --> 00:55:24,400
an infinite amount of monkeys
banging on typewriters?
1548
00:55:24,442 --> 00:55:26,277
They will eventually write Shakespeare?
1549
00:55:26,318 --> 00:55:28,446
A-plus.
Oh, boy, you are smart.
1550
00:55:28,487 --> 00:55:32,366
Or the most popular apps
that money can buy.
1551
00:55:32,408 --> 00:55:34,452
Apps. They're writing apps.
1552
00:55:34,493 --> 00:55:36,078
- Cat Chat.
- [CAT MEOWS]
1553
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:37,413
Palm Doodle.
1554
00:55:37,455 --> 00:55:39,081
Ooh, Find My Nose.
1555
00:55:39,123 --> 00:55:40,499
- [TED GASPS]
- Stock Crush.
1556
00:55:40,541 --> 00:55:42,102
- You did Stock Crush?
- [CASH REGISTER DINGS]
1557
00:55:42,126 --> 00:55:43,753
I love Stock Crush.
1558
00:55:43,794 --> 00:55:46,672
All us. But my next app...
1559
00:55:46,714 --> 00:55:49,425
ooh, it's gonna change the world.
1560
00:55:49,467 --> 00:55:50,509
Forever.
1561
00:55:50,551 --> 00:55:51,844
So why bother with a school?
1562
00:55:51,886 --> 00:55:54,388
You could go public and make millions.
1563
00:55:54,430 --> 00:55:56,140
Oh.
[LAUGHS]
1564
00:55:56,182 --> 00:55:58,517
- Billions.
- Billions.
1565
00:55:58,559 --> 00:56:01,604
Yeah, but some things are
more important than money.
1566
00:56:01,645 --> 00:56:03,272
Please don't say "love."
1567
00:56:03,314 --> 00:56:05,483
Mmm. Power.
1568
00:56:05,524 --> 00:56:07,693
That's more like it.
1569
00:56:08,652 --> 00:56:10,529
TIM: Wow. This is so amazing.
1570
00:56:10,571 --> 00:56:13,282
First, the ride, and now
a-a full sit-down dinner.
1571
00:56:13,324 --> 00:56:14,992
Wow. What a palace.
1572
00:56:15,034 --> 00:56:17,411
- I mean, you have electricity?
- Well, yeah.
1573
00:56:17,453 --> 00:56:19,580
Man, you guys are beyond generous.
1574
00:56:19,622 --> 00:56:21,624
You're welcome anytime.
1575
00:56:21,665 --> 00:56:23,268
- [GROANS]
- CAROL: Tabitha, would you mind
1576
00:56:23,292 --> 00:56:24,919
- setting the table?
- Okay, Mom.
1577
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:27,171
Really? You're just gonna
throw that right there, huh?
1578
00:56:27,213 --> 00:56:28,339
[GASPS]
1579
00:56:28,380 --> 00:56:30,966
Psst. Psst. Daddy.
1580
00:56:31,008 --> 00:56:32,843
- Shh! It's Marcos.
- What are you doing here?
1581
00:56:32,885 --> 00:56:34,428
- Where's Uncle Ted?
- What?
1582
00:56:34,470 --> 00:56:35,489
He kicked me off the mission.
1583
00:56:35,513 --> 00:56:36,430
He can't do that.
1584
00:56:36,472 --> 00:56:37,473
Only I can do that.
1585
00:56:37,515 --> 00:56:38,682
You're back on the mission.
1586
00:56:38,724 --> 00:56:40,142
No need.
I have my own mission now.
1587
00:56:40,184 --> 00:56:42,436
What? What could be more
important than my mission?
1588
00:56:42,478 --> 00:56:44,647
Got to go. Lightspeed out.
1589
00:56:45,856 --> 00:56:47,316
This is so great.
[CHUCKLES]
1590
00:56:47,358 --> 00:56:48,901
Well, I hope you're hungry.
1591
00:56:48,943 --> 00:56:50,629
Been so long since I've used silverware.
[CHUCKLES]
1592
00:56:50,653 --> 00:56:53,114
So, how'd you like your first day?
1593
00:56:53,155 --> 00:56:54,490
Kind of intense.
1594
00:56:54,532 --> 00:56:56,492
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah. You'll get used to it.
1595
00:56:56,534 --> 00:56:58,035
- Even that Nathan kid?
- Nathan.
1596
00:56:58,077 --> 00:57:00,287
- Ugh. He's a mess.
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah.
1597
00:57:00,329 --> 00:57:02,498
- He is such a square.
- A square?
1598
00:57:02,540 --> 00:57:04,500
Uh, yeah, you know, like a dork.
1599
00:57:04,542 --> 00:57:06,419
Dweeb. Nerdlet.
A real poindexter.
1600
00:57:06,460 --> 00:57:07,962
Lame-o. Dorkus to the max.
1601
00:57:08,003 --> 00:57:09,797
[CHUCKLES]
They used to call me.
1602
00:57:09,839 --> 00:57:12,299
- [CHUCKLES] You're weird.
- I am?
1603
00:57:12,341 --> 00:57:14,343
Yeah, but in a good way.
1604
00:57:14,385 --> 00:57:15,845
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1605
00:57:15,886 --> 00:57:18,431
So, why is the pageant stressing you out so much?
1606
00:57:18,472 --> 00:57:20,558
[GROANS]
I have to sing.
1607
00:57:20,599 --> 00:57:22,768
- So what?
- I don't know.
1608
00:57:22,810 --> 00:57:25,146
My whole family is going to be there,
1609
00:57:25,187 --> 00:57:27,314
including my dad.
1610
00:57:27,356 --> 00:57:28,858
Oh.
1611
00:57:28,899 --> 00:57:30,276
Right.
1612
00:57:30,317 --> 00:57:32,361
You're embarrassed of him?
1613
00:57:32,403 --> 00:57:34,447
No. No, it's not that.
1614
00:57:34,488 --> 00:57:35,990
[TIM SIGHS HEAVILY]
1615
00:57:36,031 --> 00:57:37,801
It's just, he's really good
at this kind of thing--
1616
00:57:37,825 --> 00:57:41,579
being creative and using your imagination--
1617
00:57:41,620 --> 00:57:43,622
but it's hard for me.
1618
00:57:43,664 --> 00:57:45,875
I just want him to be proud of me.
1619
00:57:45,916 --> 00:57:47,209
You know?
1620
00:57:47,251 --> 00:57:49,211
[COOS]
1621
00:57:49,253 --> 00:57:50,212
Really?
1622
00:57:50,254 --> 00:57:52,923
Well, yeah.
1623
00:57:53,883 --> 00:57:56,051
Um, who are these extra plates for?
1624
00:57:56,093 --> 00:57:57,887
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
- [WHISPERS] Mom and Dad.
1625
00:57:57,928 --> 00:57:59,805
Hey, hey!
The key still works!
1626
00:57:59,847 --> 00:58:01,366
You guys should really change the locks.
1627
00:58:01,390 --> 00:58:02,933
- Oh, you made it.
- Look who's here!
1628
00:58:02,975 --> 00:58:03,726
Mom and Dad.
1629
00:58:03,768 --> 00:58:04,894
TABITHA: Grandma! Grandpa!
1630
00:58:04,935 --> 00:58:06,687
- TED SR.: There she is.
- [GASPS]
1631
00:58:06,729 --> 00:58:08,206
- Come here, my little tabby cat.
- Yay! You're here!
1632
00:58:08,230 --> 00:58:10,292
- Look at how big you are.
- You're almost a teenager.
1633
00:58:10,316 --> 00:58:11,692
Can you vote yet?
1634
00:58:11,734 --> 00:58:12,961
TABITHA: Ten and a half more years, Grandma.
1635
00:58:12,985 --> 00:58:14,212
Daddy, they're gonna recognize you.
1636
00:58:14,236 --> 00:58:15,362
No, no. It's fine.
1637
00:58:15,404 --> 00:58:17,281
I've got the glasses. See?
1638
00:58:17,323 --> 00:58:18,759
- TED SR. & TABITHA: Selfie!
- How do you do it again?
1639
00:58:18,783 --> 00:58:20,034
Bring out the baby.
1640
00:58:20,076 --> 00:58:21,636
- Hide!
- Where are you hiding that baby?
1641
00:58:21,660 --> 00:58:23,037
No. Just be cool. Be cool.
1642
00:58:23,079 --> 00:58:24,598
- JANICE: There she is.
- TED SR.: Hello.
1643
00:58:24,622 --> 00:58:25,849
TED SR.: Hey, who's the new guy?
1644
00:58:25,873 --> 00:58:27,750
- That's Marcos.
- I gotcha.
1645
00:58:27,792 --> 00:58:31,003
[BABIES CLAMORING]
1646
00:58:31,045 --> 00:58:33,339
Attention, babies. Bienvenue.
1647
00:58:33,380 --> 00:58:35,091
Willkommen.
1648
00:58:35,132 --> 00:58:36,467
Dobro pozhalovat'.
1649
00:58:36,509 --> 00:58:39,220
- And namaste.
- [CLAMORING CONTINUES]
1650
00:58:39,261 --> 00:58:41,180
Uh, babies.
1651
00:58:41,222 --> 00:58:42,515
Hey, hey.
1652
00:58:42,556 --> 00:58:43,992
- No more screen time.
- [CLAMORING STOPS]
1653
00:58:44,016 --> 00:58:46,352
- [WHIMPERING]
- ARMSTRONG: Listen.
1654
00:58:46,393 --> 00:58:49,647
Believe it or not,
I used to be just like you.
1655
00:58:49,688 --> 00:58:52,274
- [COOING]
- Yes. I even had parents.
1656
00:58:52,316 --> 00:58:55,694
Mine were child psychologists
1657
00:58:55,736 --> 00:58:58,197
who made me part of an experiment.
1658
00:58:58,239 --> 00:58:59,448
Really?
1659
00:58:59,490 --> 00:59:02,118
They exposed me to 10,000 hours
1660
00:59:02,159 --> 00:59:05,704
- of Mozart, language lessons and public radio.
- Huh. Wow.
1661
00:59:05,746 --> 00:59:07,498
I hate public radio.
1662
00:59:07,540 --> 00:59:11,043
It was at that point I realized
I was smarter than my parents.
1663
00:59:11,085 --> 00:59:15,047
And with my first step,
I ran away from home.
1664
00:59:15,089 --> 00:59:17,299
- [BABIES MOAN SADLY]
- Why?
1665
00:59:17,341 --> 00:59:19,135
They pushed me around.
1666
00:59:19,176 --> 00:59:21,303
I got told what to do all the time.
1667
00:59:21,345 --> 00:59:22,471
[CRYING]
1668
00:59:22,513 --> 00:59:25,516
But a single word changed my life.
1669
00:59:25,558 --> 00:59:27,143
"No." Say it.
1670
00:59:27,184 --> 00:59:28,477
ALL: No!
1671
00:59:28,519 --> 00:59:30,479
- Take a nap.
- Nyet!
1672
00:59:30,521 --> 00:59:32,398
- Put on your coat.
- Nein!
1673
00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:34,775
- Eat your vegetables.
- Nahii!
1674
00:59:34,817 --> 00:59:37,069
Are you gonna let grown-ups
push you around?
1675
00:59:37,111 --> 00:59:39,447
No, no! No, no, no!
No, no! No, no, no!
1676
00:59:39,488 --> 00:59:40,823
- Are you?
- Good God, no.
1677
00:59:40,865 --> 00:59:42,158
That's right.
1678
00:59:42,199 --> 00:59:45,161
Why do parents get to be in charge, anyway?
1679
00:59:45,202 --> 00:59:47,580
They had their chance,
and what did we get?
1680
00:59:47,621 --> 00:59:51,751
Pollution, politics, wars.
1681
00:59:51,792 --> 00:59:54,128
BABIES: Ooh.
1682
00:59:54,170 --> 00:59:56,172
Not "ooh." "Boo."
1683
00:59:56,213 --> 00:59:57,798
ALL: Boo!
1684
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:01,177
The only thing holding us back
is them,
1685
01:00:01,218 --> 01:00:02,845
but not anymore.
1686
01:00:02,887 --> 01:00:06,766
The moment that we've worked
so hard for is almost here.
1687
01:00:06,807 --> 01:00:07,933
- B-Day.
- [BABIES CHEERING]
1688
01:00:07,975 --> 01:00:09,185
- B-Day?
- B-Day.
1689
01:00:09,226 --> 01:00:11,312
- I'm this many.
- I'm this many.
1690
01:00:11,353 --> 01:00:13,689
No, no, it's not...
it's not your birthday.
1691
01:00:13,731 --> 01:00:16,567
It's the beginning of the baby revolution.
1692
01:00:16,609 --> 01:00:18,402
- Yay, yay.
- [BABIES CHEERING]
1693
01:00:18,444 --> 01:00:21,071
And there'll be cake.
Cake for everybody.
1694
01:00:21,113 --> 01:00:23,866
[CHANTING]BABIES: Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
1695
01:00:23,908 --> 01:00:25,493
- No more rules.
- [CHANTING CONTINUES]
1696
01:00:25,534 --> 01:00:27,369
Oh là là!
1697
01:00:27,411 --> 01:00:29,121
No more parents.
1698
01:00:29,163 --> 01:00:30,372
Uh-oh.
1699
01:00:30,414 --> 01:00:31,540
Pew, pew, pew, pew!
1700
01:00:31,582 --> 01:00:34,043
Sayonara, Mama and Papa!
1701
01:00:34,085 --> 01:00:36,087
- Oh, this is bad.
- [CHUCKLES]
1702
01:00:36,128 --> 01:00:38,005
All right, pep rally's over.
1703
01:00:38,047 --> 01:00:40,424
Your-your parents are gonna pick you up.
1704
01:00:40,466 --> 01:00:41,509
[CRYING]
1705
01:00:41,550 --> 01:00:43,052
This is my life's work.
1706
01:00:43,094 --> 01:00:46,013
Oh, yes, 17 long months.
1707
01:00:46,055 --> 01:00:48,641
To... no more parents.
[LAUGHS]
1708
01:00:48,682 --> 01:00:50,309
Mmm.
[GARGLES, SLURPS]
1709
01:00:50,351 --> 01:00:52,770
Cheers to the revolution.
1710
01:00:53,729 --> 01:00:55,439
- No. Nope. Nope.
- [TABITHA CHUCKLES]
1711
01:00:55,481 --> 01:00:57,321
- No. Oh, that's a keeper.
- TABITHA: Oh, Tina.
1712
01:00:57,358 --> 01:00:59,443
Oh, it's so cute.
What's the app called?
1713
01:00:59,485 --> 01:01:00,903
- It's called QT Snap.
- Oh.
1714
01:01:00,945 --> 01:01:02,881
- Show me how to download that.
- Everyone has it.
1715
01:01:02,905 --> 01:01:04,907
So, Marcos... Lightspeed?
1716
01:01:04,949 --> 01:01:06,534
- Is that what you said?
- Mm-hmm.
1717
01:01:06,575 --> 01:01:08,369
Sounds like a cartoon name.
1718
01:01:08,411 --> 01:01:09,578
[LAUGHING]
1719
01:01:09,620 --> 01:01:11,414
- It really does.
- [LAUGHS AWKWARDLY]
1720
01:01:11,455 --> 01:01:14,375
Well, my parents,
they're a little wacky, so...
1721
01:01:14,417 --> 01:01:16,001
[SLURPING]
1722
01:01:16,043 --> 01:01:18,754
Huh. It's like I know you from somewhere.
1723
01:01:18,796 --> 01:01:20,131
I don't think so.
1724
01:01:20,172 --> 01:01:21,799
- That is a keeper, too.
- Hey. Hey.
1725
01:01:21,841 --> 01:01:23,843
- Doesn't he look familiar?
- I don't think I do.
1726
01:01:23,884 --> 01:01:25,302
Yeah, he looks just like Tim.
1727
01:01:25,344 --> 01:01:26,929
Yeah. You look like Tim.
1728
01:01:26,971 --> 01:01:29,140
- [COUGHS] Hmm?
- Huh?
1729
01:01:29,181 --> 01:01:30,683
Except Tim didn't wear glasses.
1730
01:01:30,724 --> 01:01:32,852
Oh, that's right.
[SCOFFS]
1731
01:01:32,893 --> 01:01:35,354
Huh. Well, how about that.
1732
01:01:35,396 --> 01:01:37,940
- [TINA SIGHS]
- Hey, where is Tim, anyway?
1733
01:01:37,982 --> 01:01:39,775
Tim and Ted are on a trip.
1734
01:01:39,817 --> 01:01:41,986
- TED SR. & JANICE: Together?
- They're bonding.
1735
01:01:42,027 --> 01:01:44,071
- Well, that's about time.
- Yeah.
1736
01:01:44,113 --> 01:01:46,282
I just hope Tim's back
in time for the pageant.
1737
01:01:46,323 --> 01:01:47,801
- [JANICE SCOFFS]
- [TED SR. CHUCKLES]
1738
01:01:47,825 --> 01:01:50,745
Uh, why...
why wouldn't he be there?
1739
01:01:50,786 --> 01:01:52,788
- [LAUGHS] Tim Time.
- Tim Time.
1740
01:01:52,830 --> 01:01:53,849
- JANICE: Oh. [CHUCKLES]
- [CAROL LAUGHS]
1741
01:01:53,873 --> 01:01:54,957
What's-what's Tim Time?
1742
01:01:54,999 --> 01:01:56,459
- Go ahead.
- Okay.
1743
01:01:56,500 --> 01:02:00,421
Well, Marcos, Tim Time is like a black hole
1744
01:02:00,463 --> 01:02:04,884
where things like reality
and being on time get lost.
1745
01:02:04,925 --> 01:02:06,343
- [TABITHA LAUGHS]
- Oh.
1746
01:02:06,385 --> 01:02:09,138
Tabitha's father has
a very active imagination.
1747
01:02:09,180 --> 01:02:10,890
Which is a good thing.
1748
01:02:10,931 --> 01:02:12,617
Yeah, that's a...
I'd say that's a good thing.
1749
01:02:12,641 --> 01:02:15,978
Oh, remember when he said our
boss was trying to kidnap us?
1750
01:02:16,020 --> 01:02:17,521
- He did?
- [LAUGHTER]
1751
01:02:17,563 --> 01:02:20,107
TED SR.: Or that his baby brother could walk and talk
1752
01:02:20,149 --> 01:02:21,776
but only when we weren't looking.
1753
01:02:21,817 --> 01:02:23,110
[LAUGHTER]
1754
01:02:23,152 --> 01:02:25,029
["WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE" PLAYING]
1755
01:02:25,070 --> 01:02:27,907
[CHUCKLING]
Wow. Turn around.
1756
01:02:29,450 --> 01:02:31,118
TABITHA: That's so Dad.
1757
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:33,829
You know, Ted was quite a handful himself.
1758
01:02:33,871 --> 01:02:36,165
- Oh, he could be very...
- TED SR.: Uptight.
1759
01:02:36,207 --> 01:02:37,958
JANICE: Mm. Yes. High-strung.
1760
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:40,377
Oh. Remember the time he sued us?
1761
01:02:40,419 --> 01:02:43,130
- [LAUGHTER]
- JANICE: Teenagers. Ugh.
1762
01:02:43,172 --> 01:02:45,382
He really looked up
to his big brother, though.
1763
01:02:45,424 --> 01:02:47,551
- BOTH: He did?
- JANICE: Oh, yeah.
1764
01:02:47,593 --> 01:02:49,386
He wouldn't leave him alone.
1765
01:02:49,428 --> 01:02:51,013
Everything Tim did, Teddy wanted to do.
1766
01:02:51,055 --> 01:02:52,556
- TABITHA: Really?
- Yeah.
1767
01:02:52,598 --> 01:02:54,683
- Tagalong Teddy, we called him.
- [TABITHA CHUCKLES]
1768
01:02:54,725 --> 01:02:56,852
- JANICE: Well, not to his face.
- TED SR.: No, no.
1769
01:02:56,894 --> 01:02:59,105
Not to his face.
He was very litigious.
1770
01:02:59,146 --> 01:03:01,357
But you know what?
Your dad didn't mind.
1771
01:03:01,398 --> 01:03:03,400
He was so proud of his little brother.
1772
01:03:03,442 --> 01:03:05,236
- Oh, yeah.
- He loved showing him off.
1773
01:03:05,277 --> 01:03:07,947
TED SR.: Those guys did everything together.
1774
01:03:07,988 --> 01:03:10,032
JANICE: They were best friends.
1775
01:03:10,074 --> 01:03:11,784
- Just like you and me.
- [TINA GIGGLING]
1776
01:03:11,826 --> 01:03:13,536
Right, Tina?
1777
01:03:13,577 --> 01:03:14,870
Best friends forever.
1778
01:03:14,912 --> 01:03:16,223
- Tickle monster!
- [CAROL CHUCKLES]
1779
01:03:16,247 --> 01:03:18,374
CAROL: That's so sweet.
1780
01:03:26,090 --> 01:03:27,550
TABITHA: And this is my closet.
1781
01:03:27,591 --> 01:03:29,385
- TIM: Oh, cool closet.
- And this is my bed.
1782
01:03:29,427 --> 01:03:31,345
- And this is my fish.
- [TAPPING]
1783
01:03:31,387 --> 01:03:35,099
- Hey, want to see something really, really cool?
- Sure.
1784
01:03:36,100 --> 01:03:38,060
I made this vocalizer for Dr. Hawking.
1785
01:03:38,102 --> 01:03:39,854
Hey, my old...
1786
01:03:39,895 --> 01:03:41,814
- What did you do?!
- Check this out.
1787
01:03:41,856 --> 01:03:43,983
Say hello, Dr. Hawking.
1788
01:03:44,900 --> 01:03:46,902
[ROBOTIC VOICE]
Hell-l-l-l-l...
1789
01:03:46,944 --> 01:03:50,573
[GRUNTS]
Um, he has performance anxiety.
1790
01:03:50,614 --> 01:03:51,991
Mm-hmm. Yep.
1791
01:03:52,032 --> 01:03:53,659
Oh, this is Lamb Lamb.
1792
01:03:53,701 --> 01:03:55,202
Hey, Lamb Lamb.
1793
01:03:55,244 --> 01:03:57,913
That's my galaxy model
right up there on my shelf.
1794
01:03:57,955 --> 01:04:00,124
My scientist of the week award.
1795
01:04:00,166 --> 01:04:02,001
- Wow.
- My geode rock collection.
1796
01:04:02,042 --> 01:04:03,586
And my telescope.
1797
01:04:03,627 --> 01:04:04,754
Sweet.
1798
01:04:04,795 --> 01:04:07,089
- Hey, cool guitar.
- Yeah.
1799
01:04:07,131 --> 01:04:08,132
That's my dad's.
1800
01:04:08,174 --> 01:04:10,009
Cool dad.
[GRUNTS]
1801
01:04:10,050 --> 01:04:11,302
Are you okay?
1802
01:04:11,343 --> 01:04:13,596
Yeah, I'm a lot taller in my mind.
1803
01:04:13,637 --> 01:04:16,807
Hey, if you want,
I can help you with your song.
1804
01:04:16,849 --> 01:04:19,101
No, you can't.
1805
01:04:19,143 --> 01:04:20,770
- Your ears will bleed.
- Oh, please.
1806
01:04:20,811 --> 01:04:22,438
It'll be fun.
1807
01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:25,024
How about this one?
It's a classic.
1808
01:04:25,065 --> 01:04:27,109
[SIGHS]
Do we have to?
1809
01:04:27,151 --> 01:04:29,445
Come on. Let's try.
1810
01:04:30,446 --> 01:04:32,198
Okay.
1811
01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:34,825
It's not gonna be good, though.
1812
01:04:34,867 --> 01:04:35,993
No judgment.
1813
01:04:36,035 --> 01:04:37,536
We're just having fun.
1814
01:04:37,578 --> 01:04:39,663
[PLAYING GENTLE MELODY]
1815
01:04:42,500 --> 01:04:46,545
[OFF-KEY]♪ There's no place like home ♪
1816
01:04:46,587 --> 01:04:48,714
♪ For the holidays ♪
1817
01:04:48,756 --> 01:04:50,674
[ROBOTIC VOICE]
Please stop.
1818
01:04:50,716 --> 01:04:54,303
- No, stop. Aah...!
- ♪ 'Cause no matter ♪
1819
01:04:54,345 --> 01:04:56,972
♪ How far away you roam... ♪
1820
01:04:57,014 --> 01:04:58,390
[STOPS PLAYING]
1821
01:04:58,432 --> 01:05:00,142
Good... try.
1822
01:05:00,184 --> 01:05:02,812
Ugh! I just get so nervous.
1823
01:05:02,853 --> 01:05:04,814
[CHUCKLES]
That's okay.
1824
01:05:04,855 --> 01:05:07,316
Listen, all you got to do
1825
01:05:07,358 --> 01:05:10,319
is imagine that you're inside the song.
1826
01:05:10,361 --> 01:05:14,156
Everything in the lyrics
is actually happening to you.
1827
01:05:14,198 --> 01:05:17,326
And you can see the notes.
1828
01:05:17,368 --> 01:05:20,287
[PLAYING "IF YOU WANT TO SING OUT, SING OUT"]
1829
01:05:22,206 --> 01:05:25,876
TIM:♪ Well, if you want
to sing out, sing out ♪
1830
01:05:25,918 --> 01:05:29,463
♪ And if you want
to be free, be free ♪
1831
01:05:29,505 --> 01:05:32,842
- Wow. Whoa!
- ♪ 'Cause there's a million things to be ♪
1832
01:05:32,883 --> 01:05:35,511
- ♪ You know that there are ♪
- Whoa. Marcos, wait up.
1833
01:05:35,553 --> 01:05:37,263
- Come on.
- [GRUNTS]
1834
01:05:37,304 --> 01:05:39,533
- ♪ And if you want to sing high, sing high ♪
- [WHIMPERING]
1835
01:05:39,557 --> 01:05:41,517
- That's a little too high.
- ♪ And if you want ♪
1836
01:05:41,559 --> 01:05:43,519
- ♪ To sing low, sing low ♪
- Whoa.
1837
01:05:43,561 --> 01:05:45,187
I got you.
1838
01:05:45,229 --> 01:05:47,440
- ♪ 'Cause there's a million ways to go ♪
- [GASPS]
1839
01:05:47,481 --> 01:05:49,191
♪ You know that there are ♪
1840
01:05:49,233 --> 01:05:50,609
OMG, that's a lot.
1841
01:05:50,651 --> 01:05:51,735
[SCREAMS]
1842
01:05:51,777 --> 01:05:54,572
♪ Uh-huh, it's easy ♪
1843
01:05:54,613 --> 01:05:57,074
- ♪ Uh-huh ♪
- [SCREAMS, LAUGHS]
1844
01:05:57,116 --> 01:05:59,702
♪ You only need to try ♪
1845
01:05:59,744 --> 01:06:01,495
[SCREAMS, LAUGHS]
1846
01:06:01,537 --> 01:06:03,414
[YELLING]
1847
01:06:03,456 --> 01:06:05,624
♪ You can sing what you want ♪
1848
01:06:05,666 --> 01:06:07,251
Whoo! Yeah, this is fun!
1849
01:06:07,293 --> 01:06:10,463
- ♪ The opportunity's yours ♪
- [WHOOPING]
1850
01:06:10,504 --> 01:06:13,549
♪ And if you do it your way ♪
1851
01:06:13,591 --> 01:06:14,884
Whoa.
1852
01:06:14,925 --> 01:06:17,219
♪ You can do it today ♪
1853
01:06:17,261 --> 01:06:20,097
Marcos, wait. Where are you?
1854
01:06:20,139 --> 01:06:21,724
Come on. You can do it.
1855
01:06:21,766 --> 01:06:24,602
- I can't. I can't.
- [AUDIENCE CHEERING]
1856
01:06:24,643 --> 01:06:27,229
[♪♪♪]
1857
01:06:27,271 --> 01:06:28,397
[GASPS SOFTLY]
1858
01:06:28,439 --> 01:06:30,232
[AUDIENCE MURMURING QUIETLY]
1859
01:06:30,274 --> 01:06:32,526
[PANTING NERVOUSLY]
1860
01:06:33,778 --> 01:06:37,072
- Now go for it.
- [AUDIENCE CHATTERING]
1861
01:06:37,114 --> 01:06:38,908
- ♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
- [CHATTER STOPS]
1862
01:06:38,949 --> 01:06:41,160
[♪♪♪]
1863
01:06:41,202 --> 01:06:43,704
Whoa.
[CHUCKLES]
1864
01:06:46,457 --> 01:06:47,625
Hey.
1865
01:06:47,666 --> 01:06:49,710
♪ It's easy ♪
1866
01:06:49,752 --> 01:06:51,128
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
1867
01:06:51,170 --> 01:06:54,757
♪ You only need to try ♪
1868
01:06:54,799 --> 01:06:56,509
TABITHA: All right. My turn.
1869
01:06:56,550 --> 01:06:58,469
TIM: Here we go. It's all you.
1870
01:06:58,511 --> 01:07:01,430
♪ Well, if I want
to sing out, sing out ♪
1871
01:07:01,472 --> 01:07:03,140
- ♪ Sing out ♪
- Yes, let it out.
1872
01:07:03,182 --> 01:07:05,059
♪ And if I want
to be free, be free ♪
1873
01:07:05,101 --> 01:07:06,435
♪ Be free ♪
1874
01:07:06,477 --> 01:07:08,646
♪ 'Cause there's
a million things to be ♪
1875
01:07:08,687 --> 01:07:11,023
♪ I know that there are,
I know that there are ♪
1876
01:07:11,065 --> 01:07:13,484
- ♪ I know that there are ♪
- ♪ You know that there are ♪
1877
01:07:13,526 --> 01:07:16,445
- ♪ I know that there are... ♪
- ♪ You know that there are... ♪
1878
01:07:16,487 --> 01:07:20,032
- ♪ I know that there are ♪
- ♪ You know that there are ♪
1879
01:07:20,074 --> 01:07:24,161
♪ I know that there are. ♪
1880
01:07:27,832 --> 01:07:30,209
Wow. That was so great.
1881
01:07:30,251 --> 01:07:31,752
No, you were so great.
1882
01:07:31,794 --> 01:07:32,920
Thanks, Marcos.
1883
01:07:32,962 --> 01:07:34,338
- [CAMERA CLICKS]
- What?
1884
01:07:34,380 --> 01:07:35,816
- Oh, that's a keeper.
- Oh, they can see us.
1885
01:07:35,840 --> 01:07:37,007
- They can see us.
- Aw.
1886
01:07:37,049 --> 01:07:38,300
Guys, come on.
1887
01:07:38,342 --> 01:07:40,469
Stop. No, do it. Do it.
1888
01:07:40,511 --> 01:07:42,430
[CHUCKLING]
Oh, no.
1889
01:07:42,471 --> 01:07:44,723
Parents, right?
[CHUCKLES]
1890
01:07:44,765 --> 01:07:46,976
- Bye, Templeton family!
- CAROL: Bye-bye.
1891
01:07:47,017 --> 01:07:48,644
- Bye, Marcos.
- Lightspeed.
1892
01:07:48,686 --> 01:07:49,687
Weird kid.
1893
01:07:49,728 --> 01:07:51,397
JANICE: Yeah, I don't like him.
1894
01:07:51,439 --> 01:07:53,774
[GUITAR PLAYING SOFTLY]
1895
01:07:53,816 --> 01:07:56,402
♪ Catch my eye ♪
1896
01:07:57,194 --> 01:07:59,864
♪ Take my hand ♪
1897
01:08:00,698 --> 01:08:02,366
♪ This bond is tighter than we ♪
1898
01:08:02,408 --> 01:08:04,076
You go get 'em, Tabitha.
1899
01:08:04,118 --> 01:08:06,245
♪ Ever planned ♪
1900
01:08:06,287 --> 01:08:09,123
♪ Give me courage ♪
1901
01:08:09,165 --> 01:08:10,750
♪ So I can land... ♪
1902
01:08:10,791 --> 01:08:12,352
TINA:Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up,
1903
01:08:12,376 --> 01:08:13,854
pick up, pick up,
pick up, pick up, pick up,
1904
01:08:13,878 --> 01:08:16,005
pick up, pick up, pick up,
pick up. Choo-choo!
1905
01:08:16,046 --> 01:08:18,340
Don't they understand
it's the fate of the world?
1906
01:08:18,382 --> 01:08:20,426
I've been on hold forever!
1907
01:08:20,468 --> 01:08:22,511
CHILD: All operators are currently napping.
1908
01:08:22,553 --> 01:08:25,055
I've been on hold so long
I got a tooth growing in.
1909
01:08:25,097 --> 01:08:27,516
Back in my day, we wrote memos.
1910
01:08:27,558 --> 01:08:29,143
That's cute and old-timey.
1911
01:08:29,185 --> 01:08:30,478
[SCOFFS]
1912
01:08:30,519 --> 01:08:32,521
TED: I weep for the future.
1913
01:08:32,563 --> 01:08:35,024
Do you want to talk about your
feelings now while I'm on hold?
1914
01:08:35,065 --> 01:08:36,192
I can give you 20 minutes.
1915
01:08:36,233 --> 01:08:37,485
No.
1916
01:08:37,526 --> 01:08:39,111
Let's get to the nut, the nugget.
1917
01:08:39,153 --> 01:08:40,613
What are you afraid of?
1918
01:08:40,654 --> 01:08:43,073
Sharks, getting shot
in the head with an arrow,
1919
01:08:43,115 --> 01:08:44,492
and... the IRS.
1920
01:08:44,533 --> 01:08:46,035
- That's it.
- There you go.
1921
01:08:46,077 --> 01:08:47,536
Was that so hard?
Baby steps.
1922
01:08:47,578 --> 01:08:49,538
Now, what about being lonely?
1923
01:08:49,580 --> 01:08:51,415
- I'm not lonely.
- Mm-hmm.
1924
01:08:51,457 --> 01:08:53,876
I'm just... alone.
1925
01:08:53,918 --> 01:08:55,377
There's a difference.
1926
01:08:55,419 --> 01:08:57,064
- I think it's time you read your file.
- [GASPS]
1927
01:08:57,088 --> 01:08:58,672
- Ah-ah-ah-ah.
- Just give me.
1928
01:08:58,714 --> 01:09:00,091
Whoa. This is it?
1929
01:09:00,132 --> 01:09:02,593
It's so thin.
1930
01:09:02,635 --> 01:09:04,470
YOUNG TIM:Dear Boss Baby,
1931
01:09:04,512 --> 01:09:06,097
I promise you this:
1932
01:09:06,138 --> 01:09:08,808
Every morning when you wake up,
I will be there.
1933
01:09:08,849 --> 01:09:11,560
Every night at dinner, I will be there.
1934
01:09:11,602 --> 01:09:13,979
Every birthday party,
every Christmas morning,
1935
01:09:14,021 --> 01:09:15,481
I will be there.
1936
01:09:15,523 --> 01:09:18,901
Year after year after year.
1937
01:09:18,943 --> 01:09:23,864
And you and I will always be brothers.
1938
01:09:23,906 --> 01:09:25,783
Always.
1939
01:09:25,825 --> 01:09:28,577
Makes me want to make a sad face.
1940
01:09:28,619 --> 01:09:30,830
[TOY TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
1941
01:09:33,332 --> 01:09:35,584
We were just kids.
1942
01:09:35,626 --> 01:09:38,170
We didn't know anything about the real world.
1943
01:09:38,212 --> 01:09:40,714
And eventually, you have to grow up.
1944
01:09:40,756 --> 01:09:42,967
Just because you grow up, it doesn't mean
1945
01:09:43,008 --> 01:09:44,510
you have to grow apart.
1946
01:09:44,552 --> 01:09:47,179
I don't know.
Maybe it's already too late.
1947
01:09:47,221 --> 01:09:49,181
[GRUNTING]TIM: Hey.
1948
01:09:49,223 --> 01:09:50,433
Sorry I'm late.
1949
01:09:50,474 --> 01:09:52,017
TINA: Daddy!
1950
01:09:52,059 --> 01:09:53,227
Daddy, Daddy.
1951
01:09:53,269 --> 01:09:54,478
What's going on?
1952
01:09:54,520 --> 01:09:55,980
Uncle Ted really misses you.
1953
01:09:56,021 --> 01:09:58,357
- Isn't that nice?
- [TOY TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
1954
01:10:01,152 --> 01:10:03,946
So, hey, uh, what you doing?
1955
01:10:03,988 --> 01:10:05,406
Oh, I was, uh...
1956
01:10:05,448 --> 01:10:08,659
I don't know,
I was just working on this.
1957
01:10:08,701 --> 01:10:10,494
[GASPS]
1958
01:10:12,913 --> 01:10:15,708
Look, I'm sorry about what I said at recess.
1959
01:10:15,750 --> 01:10:18,335
What happens on the playground
stays on the playground.
1960
01:10:18,377 --> 01:10:20,254
I was just worried about Tabitha, you know?
1961
01:10:20,296 --> 01:10:21,630
She's your daughter. I get it.
1962
01:10:21,672 --> 01:10:23,340
This whole time,
I was thinking about
1963
01:10:23,382 --> 01:10:25,718
what I wanted and not what she needed.
1964
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:27,904
I think I finally got this
parenting thing figured out.
1965
01:10:27,928 --> 01:10:29,054
Gold star for you, Daddy.
1966
01:10:29,096 --> 01:10:30,741
- Keep it up, Pops.
- Yeah, well, about that.
1967
01:10:30,765 --> 01:10:33,851
Armstrong wants to get rid
of parents somehow.
1968
01:10:33,893 --> 01:10:36,187
- Sorry, what?
- He's planning a baby revolution.
1969
01:10:36,228 --> 01:10:37,730
Ugh, come on.
1970
01:10:37,772 --> 01:10:39,982
Just when I got good
at this whole parenting thing.
1971
01:10:40,024 --> 01:10:41,484
We got to stop him.
1972
01:10:41,525 --> 01:10:43,068
- Not we.
- You?
1973
01:10:43,110 --> 01:10:44,445
Neither one of us.
1974
01:10:44,487 --> 01:10:46,113
- BabyCorp is taking it from here.
- Ah.
1975
01:10:46,155 --> 01:10:48,300
So, what, they're gonna send in
the Baby SEALS or something?
1976
01:10:48,324 --> 01:10:49,825
- Looks like it.
- So you'll, um...
1977
01:10:49,867 --> 01:10:52,203
you'll be headed back to your office.
1978
01:10:52,244 --> 01:10:54,497
TED: Uh, yeah.
Well, keep in touch, Tim.
1979
01:10:54,538 --> 01:10:56,332
Hello? BabyCorp?
1980
01:10:56,373 --> 01:10:58,334
Thank goodness, BabyCorp.
Well, BabyCo...
1981
01:10:58,375 --> 01:11:00,586
[STAMMERING]
Wha-What? What are you saying,
1982
01:11:00,628 --> 01:11:02,588
there's not enough evidence,
BabyCorp? I...
1983
01:11:02,630 --> 01:11:04,423
- Uh-oh.
- So you're not gonna do anything?
1984
01:11:04,465 --> 01:11:05,841
But, BabyCorp, I...
1985
01:11:05,883 --> 01:11:07,551
Ugh. Well, then we'll take care of it.
1986
01:11:07,593 --> 01:11:09,345
You know what, BabyCorp?
1987
01:11:09,386 --> 01:11:10,763
I quit!
1988
01:11:10,805 --> 01:11:12,890
What a bunch of diaper sniffers.
[GRUNTS]
1989
01:11:12,932 --> 01:11:14,642
[WHISTLE BLOWS, TRAIN POWERS DOWN]
1990
01:11:14,683 --> 01:11:16,852
Looks like we have to stop
Armstrong ourselves.
1991
01:11:16,894 --> 01:11:19,438
We're going rogue.
I like it.
1992
01:11:19,480 --> 01:11:21,107
- So the mission's back on?
- Yeah.
1993
01:11:21,148 --> 01:11:23,901
If you two can put up with
each other a little longer.
1994
01:11:23,943 --> 01:11:27,196
I suppose I can live with that.
Tim?
1995
01:11:27,238 --> 01:11:28,197
I think that's doable.
1996
01:11:28,239 --> 01:11:29,198
Yay!
1997
01:11:29,240 --> 01:11:30,658
Forced together again.
1998
01:11:30,699 --> 01:11:33,452
WIZZIE: It's 8:45 p.m.
1999
01:11:33,494 --> 01:11:35,538
TED: Okay. Our clock is ticking.
2000
01:11:35,579 --> 01:11:38,666
We have to stop Armstrong
before the formula wears off.
2001
01:11:38,707 --> 01:11:42,086
Working as a team,
we will strike at the pageant.
2002
01:11:42,128 --> 01:11:43,379
Go, Tina.
2003
01:11:43,421 --> 01:11:45,714
Now, this top secret document...
2004
01:11:45,756 --> 01:11:47,216
Sweetie, it's the program.
2005
01:11:47,258 --> 01:11:49,552
This top secret program reveals
2006
01:11:49,593 --> 01:11:52,555
that Armstrong is scheduled
to address the audience,
2007
01:11:52,596 --> 01:11:55,641
which he will do right here
at the very end.
2008
01:11:55,683 --> 01:11:58,269
We need someone backstage.
Tim, that's you.
2009
01:11:58,310 --> 01:12:00,938
How am I gonna get backstage
if I'm not in the pageant?
2010
01:12:00,980 --> 01:12:02,815
TED: My people will
take care of that.
2011
01:12:02,857 --> 01:12:03,649
[TOY SQUEAKS]
2012
01:12:03,691 --> 01:12:05,067
- Ah!
- Thank you.
2013
01:12:05,109 --> 01:12:06,235
- [CHUCKLES]
- Thank you.
2014
01:12:06,277 --> 01:12:07,319
- No!
- Great.
2015
01:12:07,361 --> 01:12:09,405
- And... go.
- [LAUGHING]
2016
01:12:09,447 --> 01:12:10,865
Glue.
2017
01:12:10,906 --> 01:12:12,741
[SCREAMS]
2018
01:12:12,783 --> 01:12:15,077
[ROBOT VOICE]
There, there. All better.
2019
01:12:15,119 --> 01:12:16,704
Awesome.
2020
01:12:16,746 --> 01:12:20,166
Now, I'll be your eyes
and your ears in the audience.
2021
01:12:20,207 --> 01:12:22,084
I can't let Mommy see me talk,
2022
01:12:22,126 --> 01:12:24,003
or she's gonna start
squealing and hugging me,
2023
01:12:24,044 --> 01:12:25,755
but these little doodads will let you
2024
01:12:25,796 --> 01:12:27,590
understand my baby talk.
2025
01:12:27,631 --> 01:12:29,258
It's called a GAGA device.
2026
01:12:29,300 --> 01:12:30,634
- Aw, that's cute.
- Check it out.
2027
01:12:30,676 --> 01:12:31,927
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
2028
01:12:31,969 --> 01:12:33,196
[OVER GAGA]
Can you hear me, Daddy?
2029
01:12:33,220 --> 01:12:34,430
Also cute.
2030
01:12:34,472 --> 01:12:36,515
Meanwhile, with my new purple status,
2031
01:12:36,557 --> 01:12:38,559
I can stay close to Armstrong.
2032
01:12:38,601 --> 01:12:40,603
Um, that's-that's an eyebrow.
2033
01:12:40,644 --> 01:12:42,605
- Oh. Sorry.
- Uh, no, that's, uh...
2034
01:12:42,646 --> 01:12:44,356
TED:When the moment is right,
2035
01:12:44,398 --> 01:12:45,983
I'll implant a device.
2036
01:12:46,025 --> 01:12:47,485
- Got it.
- Got what?
2037
01:12:47,526 --> 01:12:48,694
I mean, you've got this.
2038
01:12:48,736 --> 01:12:50,738
Go get 'em, tiger.
[CHUCKLES]
2039
01:12:50,780 --> 01:12:52,698
- Oh, thank you, parents.
- [APPLAUSE]
2040
01:12:52,740 --> 01:12:54,116
Thank you. There's the...
2041
01:12:54,158 --> 01:12:56,118
There's the old enthusiasm I like to see.
2042
01:12:56,160 --> 01:12:58,496
TINA:This will allow me to control his suit.
2043
01:12:58,537 --> 01:13:01,957
I can make Muttonchops do whatever I want.
2044
01:13:01,999 --> 01:13:03,834
[BABBLING]
2045
01:13:03,876 --> 01:13:06,253
TINA:I can make him dance.
2046
01:13:06,295 --> 01:13:07,963
I can make him prance.
2047
01:13:08,005 --> 01:13:09,816
- Hey, no, no, no, no.
- Including exposing himself
2048
01:13:09,840 --> 01:13:11,634
- to the audience.
- [AUDIENCE GASPS]
2049
01:13:11,675 --> 01:13:14,428
[SCREAMS]Every parent
will pull out their phone.
2050
01:13:14,470 --> 01:13:16,806
Don't look at me.
Don't look at me!
2051
01:13:16,847 --> 01:13:19,433
The photos will spread like a diaper rash.
2052
01:13:19,475 --> 01:13:21,310
Cut to our pizza party.
2053
01:13:21,352 --> 01:13:23,270
Boom! Bam! Poo! Poof!
2054
01:13:23,312 --> 01:13:24,480
Questions?
2055
01:13:24,522 --> 01:13:25,707
After Tabitha sings her solo, right?
2056
01:13:25,731 --> 01:13:27,191
After Tabitha sings.
2057
01:13:27,233 --> 01:13:30,861
Now we just sit back, relax
and enjoy the show.
2058
01:13:32,113 --> 01:13:33,656
[FANFARE PLAYING]
2059
01:13:33,697 --> 01:13:36,158
ARMSTRONG: Welcome, parents,
to our holiday pageant.
2060
01:13:36,200 --> 01:13:39,662
Remember, flash photography
in the auditorium
2061
01:13:39,703 --> 01:13:42,331
is absolutely okay.
2062
01:13:42,373 --> 01:13:45,126
Take a picture. Show your kids
that you love 'em.
2063
01:13:45,167 --> 01:13:46,669
Yippee!
2064
01:13:46,710 --> 01:13:48,045
Come on, Tim.
2065
01:13:48,087 --> 01:13:50,339
- You promised you'd be here.
- [MAN GROANS]
2066
01:13:50,381 --> 01:13:51,841
Oh, sorry. This seat is taken.
2067
01:13:51,882 --> 01:13:53,801
- Yep. Sorry.
- Oh, no. [MUTTERS]
2068
01:13:53,843 --> 01:13:56,053
- So sorry. I... Sorry.
- [MAN GRUNTS, MUTTERS]
2069
01:13:56,095 --> 01:13:58,180
- Sorry! I am so sorry.
- [SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
2070
01:13:58,222 --> 01:14:00,516
[OVER GAGA]
Uncle Teddy, are you in position?
2071
01:14:00,558 --> 01:14:01,892
The baby's in the cradle.
2072
01:14:01,934 --> 01:14:04,562
- The baby's in the cradle.
- Mmm. [SLURPING]
2073
01:14:04,603 --> 01:14:06,188
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
2074
01:14:06,230 --> 01:14:08,190
[OVER GAGA]
Papa Bear, can you read me?
2075
01:14:08,232 --> 01:14:09,817
The flake has landed.
2076
01:14:09,859 --> 01:14:11,902
Places! Places, everybody!
2077
01:14:11,944 --> 01:14:13,296
- Here we go. Here we go.
- Oh, my gosh.
2078
01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:15,215
- It's starting. It's starting.
- [SIGHS] Finally.
2079
01:14:15,239 --> 01:14:16,782
It's starting. It's starting.
2080
01:14:16,824 --> 01:14:18,075
Yay!
2081
01:14:18,117 --> 01:14:20,202
- You're a big pageant guy, huh?
- No, no, no.
2082
01:14:20,244 --> 01:14:22,747
I'm not talking about the show.
I'm talking about B-Day.
2083
01:14:23,581 --> 01:14:24,957
B-Day?
2084
01:14:24,999 --> 01:14:27,334
Oh, yeah. It's already
in the parents' phones.
2085
01:14:27,376 --> 01:14:29,086
[COUGHS]
2086
01:14:29,128 --> 01:14:30,880
I taught babies to code.
2087
01:14:30,921 --> 01:14:33,591
TED: Apps. They're writing apps.
2088
01:14:33,632 --> 01:14:35,801
But my next app...
2089
01:14:35,843 --> 01:14:39,388
ooh, it's gonna change the world forever.
2090
01:14:39,430 --> 01:14:44,059
QT Snap is the app that's going
to change the world forever?
2091
01:14:44,101 --> 01:14:47,062
Forever starts today.
[CHUCKLES]
2092
01:14:47,104 --> 01:14:49,106
Uh, cool.
[GASPS]
2093
01:14:49,148 --> 01:14:51,525
[AUDIENCE GASPING]
2094
01:14:51,567 --> 01:14:54,195
[♪♪♪]
2095
01:14:54,236 --> 01:14:55,738
AUDIENCE: Aw.
2096
01:14:55,780 --> 01:14:57,299
- KIDS:♪ It's wintertime ♪
- [TIM MUMBLING]
2097
01:14:57,323 --> 01:14:58,908
♪ It's the best time of year ♪
2098
01:14:58,949 --> 01:15:00,826
♪ But due to ice caps melting ♪
2099
01:15:00,868 --> 01:15:02,912
♪ Global warming's here ♪
2100
01:15:02,953 --> 01:15:04,747
♪ It feels like summer ♪
2101
01:15:04,789 --> 01:15:06,749
♪ The snow has disappeared ♪
2102
01:15:06,791 --> 01:15:08,417
♪ It's all our parents' fault ♪
2103
01:15:08,459 --> 01:15:11,337
- ♪ So we're all doomed ♪
- TIM:♪ All, uh... ♪
2104
01:15:11,378 --> 01:15:12,797
♪ Doomed. ♪
2105
01:15:12,838 --> 01:15:14,423
This is kind of dark.
2106
01:15:14,465 --> 01:15:15,776
Did the kids just say we're doomed?
2107
01:15:15,800 --> 01:15:17,760
What the heck are we watching?
2108
01:15:17,802 --> 01:15:19,845
- [CAMERA CLICKS]
- [YELPS]
2109
01:15:19,887 --> 01:15:21,597
Their brains are turning to mush.
2110
01:15:21,639 --> 01:15:23,140
Months of hypnotic research embedded
2111
01:15:23,182 --> 01:15:25,976
in the most user-friendly
photo app ever made.
2112
01:15:26,018 --> 01:15:27,603
Ooh.
2113
01:15:27,645 --> 01:15:29,688
Now all we need to do is sit back, relax
2114
01:15:29,730 --> 01:15:31,440
and enjoy the show.
2115
01:15:31,482 --> 01:15:32,817
- WOMAN: Hey!
- Right.
2116
01:15:32,858 --> 01:15:34,985
[CHUCKLES] I'll be right back.
We're, uh...
2117
01:15:35,027 --> 01:15:36,667
- WOMAN: Hey!
- ...out of Dundle Floofers.
2118
01:15:36,695 --> 01:15:38,030
- [CHUCKLES]
- Mmm.
2119
01:15:38,072 --> 01:15:39,615
[CHUCKLING]
2120
01:15:39,657 --> 01:15:41,117
KIDS: Diwali!
2121
01:15:41,158 --> 01:15:42,993
[TRADITIONAL HINDU MUSIC PLAYING]
2122
01:15:43,035 --> 01:15:44,620
Las Posadas!
2123
01:15:44,662 --> 01:15:46,956
[MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING]
2124
01:15:46,997 --> 01:15:49,125
- Agnostic!
- [MUSIC STOPS]
2125
01:15:50,334 --> 01:15:52,670
- And Hanukkah!
- [SCREAMS]
2126
01:15:52,711 --> 01:15:54,004
Your son is so talented.
2127
01:15:54,046 --> 01:15:56,298
- Oh, so is yours.
- Liars.
2128
01:15:56,340 --> 01:15:58,801
Tina, come in.
B-Day is happening now.
2129
01:15:58,843 --> 01:16:00,344
It's all in the phones.
2130
01:16:00,386 --> 01:16:03,347
Armstrong is using an app
to brainwash the parents.
2131
01:16:03,389 --> 01:16:05,391
- [GASPS]
- [OVER GAGA] Gasp.
2132
01:16:05,433 --> 01:16:07,643
- TED: We have to stop the show.
- [SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
2133
01:16:07,685 --> 01:16:09,246
[OVER GAGA]
Okay, okay. Uh, there's a...
2134
01:16:09,270 --> 01:16:11,772
there's a big old no-touchy switch backstage.
2135
01:16:11,814 --> 01:16:13,149
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
2136
01:16:13,190 --> 01:16:14,835
[OVER GAGA]
Daddy, we have to pull the plug.
2137
01:16:14,859 --> 01:16:17,069
Daddy, come in.
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,
2138
01:16:17,111 --> 01:16:18,505
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.
2139
01:16:18,529 --> 01:16:20,448
Ugh. He's not responding.
2140
01:16:20,489 --> 01:16:21,782
[PANTING]
Of course not.
2141
01:16:21,824 --> 01:16:23,951
- I'll do it myself.
- Stop!
2142
01:16:23,993 --> 01:16:26,829
- [GRUNTS]
- Theater kids only.
2143
01:16:26,871 --> 01:16:29,165
Oh, come on, nativity!
2144
01:16:29,206 --> 01:16:30,541
Look holier!
2145
01:16:30,583 --> 01:16:32,001
[ANGELIC CHOIR VOCALIZING]
2146
01:16:32,042 --> 01:16:33,586
[GASPS]
2147
01:16:33,627 --> 01:16:36,005
TIM: Hey, Tabitha.
2148
01:16:36,046 --> 01:16:37,923
[CHUCKLING]
Don't you worry, okay?
2149
01:16:37,965 --> 01:16:39,842
You're gonna be great.
2150
01:16:39,884 --> 01:16:42,136
Thanks, Marcos.
And thanks for all your help.
2151
01:16:42,178 --> 01:16:43,262
Anytime.
2152
01:16:43,304 --> 01:16:45,347
I feel like you really understand me.
2153
01:16:45,389 --> 01:16:47,016
I'm so excited.
2154
01:16:47,057 --> 01:16:50,811
I can't wait to see the look
on my dad's face when I sing.
2155
01:16:51,771 --> 01:16:53,689
MEGHAN: Hey! You're on, Templeton!
2156
01:16:53,731 --> 01:16:55,024
Wish me luck.
2157
01:16:55,065 --> 01:16:56,442
MEGHAN: And break a leg.
2158
01:16:56,484 --> 01:16:57,985
Or two, for that matter.
[LAUGHS]
2159
01:16:58,027 --> 01:17:01,614
KIDS:♪ We're in this together ♪
2160
01:17:01,655 --> 01:17:04,200
♪ We live in harmony... ♪
2161
01:17:04,241 --> 01:17:05,451
TED: Psst.
2162
01:17:06,410 --> 01:17:07,536
Tim!
2163
01:17:07,578 --> 01:17:08,788
Is that the baby Jesus?
2164
01:17:08,829 --> 01:17:10,081
[GASPS]
2165
01:17:10,122 --> 01:17:11,332
[SCREAMS]
2166
01:17:11,373 --> 01:17:13,042
[LAUGHING]
2167
01:17:13,084 --> 01:17:14,293
[♪♪♪]
2168
01:17:14,335 --> 01:17:17,880
♪ We have to shut down the pageant. ♪
2169
01:17:17,922 --> 01:17:19,799
- Yeah!
- What? No. Why?
2170
01:17:19,840 --> 01:17:22,218
Armstrong's turning the parents into zombies
2171
01:17:22,259 --> 01:17:23,928
so they'll do whatever he wants.
2172
01:17:23,969 --> 01:17:26,055
What? What are you doing? No!
2173
01:17:26,097 --> 01:17:27,473
- [GRUNTS]
- [CHAIR CRASHES]
2174
01:17:27,515 --> 01:17:28,849
Tabitha's on next.
2175
01:17:28,891 --> 01:17:30,851
TED: You'd risk the future of the world
2176
01:17:30,893 --> 01:17:32,895
- to see your daughter sing?
- Yes!
2177
01:17:32,937 --> 01:17:34,998
- I have to be there for her.
- Look who's worried about
2178
01:17:35,022 --> 01:17:36,607
showing up for things all of a sudden.
2179
01:17:36,649 --> 01:17:38,234
What's that supposed to mean?
2180
01:17:38,275 --> 01:17:39,902
You didn't even come to my graduation.
2181
01:17:39,944 --> 01:17:41,362
Ow! Which one?
2182
01:17:41,403 --> 01:17:43,823
Business school, law school.
None of them.
2183
01:17:43,864 --> 01:17:45,574
You didn't even come to my wedding.
2184
01:17:45,616 --> 01:17:47,326
- Which one?
- I only had one!
2185
01:17:47,368 --> 01:17:48,994
We had a deal, Tim.
2186
01:17:49,036 --> 01:17:50,913
You promised you'd be there always.
2187
01:17:50,955 --> 01:17:52,498
Whoa. Where did you...
2188
01:17:52,540 --> 01:17:55,126
- Breach of contract!
- [GRUNTS]
2189
01:17:55,960 --> 01:17:57,753
[NINJA BABIES WHOOPING]
2190
01:17:57,795 --> 01:17:58,921
Whoa.
2191
01:17:58,963 --> 01:18:00,256
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
2192
01:18:00,297 --> 01:18:02,675
ARMSTRONG: How do you do there, fellas?
2193
01:18:02,716 --> 01:18:05,636
[CHUCKLES]
Nothing's gonna ruin my B-Day.
2194
01:18:05,678 --> 01:18:08,222
Not even you.
2195
01:18:08,264 --> 01:18:10,099
- Oh, busted.
- Yeah, it was obvious
2196
01:18:10,141 --> 01:18:11,725
from the very, very beginning
2197
01:18:11,767 --> 01:18:14,395
that you two were working together.
2198
01:18:14,437 --> 01:18:15,813
What gave us away?
2199
01:18:15,855 --> 01:18:18,107
Well, I'd say the bickering,
2200
01:18:18,149 --> 01:18:19,942
the, uh, petty disputes,
2201
01:18:19,984 --> 01:18:21,610
the jealousy.
2202
01:18:21,652 --> 01:18:24,780
You know, you two are brothers
in every single way.
2203
01:18:24,822 --> 01:18:26,490
[HUMS A TUNE]
2204
01:18:26,532 --> 01:18:28,784
- Off to the Box they go.
- [NINJA BABIES YELLING]
2205
01:18:28,826 --> 01:18:30,828
What? No.
Not the Box. Not now.
2206
01:18:30,870 --> 01:18:32,455
Please.
2207
01:18:32,496 --> 01:18:34,474
Aw, it's just... it's too bad
that you're never gonna
2208
01:18:34,498 --> 01:18:36,625
have a chance to reboot
your relationship and...
2209
01:18:36,667 --> 01:18:38,586
- No!
- ...and restore the closeness
2210
01:18:38,627 --> 01:18:39,962
that you once felt.
2211
01:18:40,004 --> 01:18:41,630
- Sorry about that.
- No.
2212
01:18:41,672 --> 01:18:43,883
- No, no, no, no. No!
- Adios, Marcos.
2213
01:18:43,924 --> 01:18:46,969
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪
2214
01:18:47,011 --> 01:18:48,846
CAROL: Oh, look, look. There she is.
2215
01:18:48,888 --> 01:18:50,014
There's our little angel.
2216
01:18:50,055 --> 01:18:51,932
- Oh! Tabby's in the tree.
- Ah! Oh!
2217
01:18:53,434 --> 01:18:55,644
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪
2218
01:18:55,686 --> 01:18:57,438
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪
2219
01:18:57,480 --> 01:19:00,775
[NINJA BABIES SPEAKING GIBBERISH, LAUGHING]
2220
01:19:00,816 --> 01:19:02,485
[YELLS]
2221
01:19:02,526 --> 01:19:04,862
You had one job to do.
2222
01:19:04,904 --> 01:19:06,864
One job.
2223
01:19:06,906 --> 01:19:08,866
- Oh, no.
- The fountain.
2224
01:19:08,908 --> 01:19:10,534
It's flooding the room.
2225
01:19:10,576 --> 01:19:11,911
This isn't a time-out.
2226
01:19:11,952 --> 01:19:13,329
It's game over.
2227
01:19:13,370 --> 01:19:15,414
♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
2228
01:19:15,456 --> 01:19:17,750
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
2229
01:19:17,792 --> 01:19:20,544
[PANTING]
2230
01:19:23,130 --> 01:19:24,507
MEGHAN: Psst.
2231
01:19:24,548 --> 01:19:28,135
It's one, two, three
and one, two, three.
2232
01:19:28,177 --> 01:19:30,387
- [GASPS, PANTS]
- [PIANO PLAYING]
2233
01:19:39,522 --> 01:19:42,024
♪ Catch my eye ♪
2234
01:19:42,066 --> 01:19:45,194
♪ Take my hand ♪
2235
01:19:45,236 --> 01:19:50,533
♪ This bond is tighter
than we ever planned ♪
2236
01:19:50,574 --> 01:19:52,910
♪ Give me courage ♪
2237
01:19:52,952 --> 01:19:55,371
♪ So I can land ♪
2238
01:19:55,413 --> 01:19:58,916
♪ We know that divided we'll fall ♪
2239
01:19:58,958 --> 01:20:03,003
♪ So together we stand ♪
2240
01:20:03,963 --> 01:20:06,924
♪ Laugh and cry with me ♪
2241
01:20:06,966 --> 01:20:09,593
♪ Fly that high with me ♪
2242
01:20:09,635 --> 01:20:11,762
- ♪ See the sunset and the sunrise ♪
- [GASPING]
2243
01:20:11,804 --> 01:20:14,432
- ♪ The world looks so good through our eyes ♪
- Wow.
2244
01:20:14,473 --> 01:20:19,437
♪ Like the moon
and stars at night ♪
2245
01:20:21,063 --> 01:20:23,107
You're right. I blew it.
2246
01:20:23,149 --> 01:20:25,234
I ruined the mission.
[SIGHS]
2247
01:20:25,276 --> 01:20:27,153
And I'm a terrible father.
2248
01:20:27,194 --> 01:20:30,156
Hey, you did sort of ruin the mission.
2249
01:20:30,197 --> 01:20:31,782
But you're a great dad.
2250
01:20:31,824 --> 01:20:33,242
No, I'm not.
2251
01:20:33,284 --> 01:20:34,869
I could never do your job.
2252
01:20:34,910 --> 01:20:36,454
I mean, you work around the clock,
2253
01:20:36,495 --> 01:20:38,164
you can't even quit if you wanted to,
2254
01:20:38,205 --> 01:20:39,790
and you don't even get paid.
2255
01:20:39,832 --> 01:20:42,168
Frankly, I don't see how that's legal.
2256
01:20:42,209 --> 01:20:44,336
I was always jealous of you.
2257
01:20:44,378 --> 01:20:46,797
I wanted to be successful,
too, you know.
2258
01:20:46,839 --> 01:20:48,132
Sure, Tim.
2259
01:20:48,174 --> 01:20:50,509
I made a lot of money...
2260
01:20:50,551 --> 01:20:52,636
but you made a family.
2261
01:20:53,721 --> 01:20:55,765
The truth is...
2262
01:20:55,806 --> 01:20:57,725
it's lonely at the top.
2263
01:21:01,061 --> 01:21:03,773
♪ Reach with me ♪
2264
01:21:03,814 --> 01:21:07,109
♪ See the sky ♪
2265
01:21:07,151 --> 01:21:11,864
♪ I'll always be here
for the rest of your life ♪
2266
01:21:11,906 --> 01:21:14,867
♪ Sail that ocean ♪
2267
01:21:14,909 --> 01:21:17,286
♪ Find that sand ♪
2268
01:21:17,328 --> 01:21:20,873
♪ We know that divided we'll fall ♪
2269
01:21:20,915 --> 01:21:24,919
♪ So together we stand ♪
2270
01:21:24,960 --> 01:21:27,171
[KIDS VOCALIZING]
2271
01:21:30,341 --> 01:21:34,261
You know, I'm... I'm sorry we
don't see each other anymore.
2272
01:21:34,303 --> 01:21:36,305
A very wise person once told me,
2273
01:21:36,347 --> 01:21:38,140
just because you grow up
2274
01:21:38,182 --> 01:21:40,142
doesn't mean you have to grow apart.
2275
01:21:40,184 --> 01:21:41,685
- Was it Tina?
- Oh, yeah.
2276
01:21:41,727 --> 01:21:44,647
[LAUGHING]
Oh, it is crazy how smart she is.
2277
01:21:44,688 --> 01:21:46,899
It's like she looks right into your soul.
2278
01:21:46,941 --> 01:21:49,819
I'm sorry that I missed your graduations.
2279
01:21:49,860 --> 01:21:52,530
I'm sorry I missed your one wedding.
2280
01:21:52,571 --> 01:21:55,825
BOTH: I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.
2281
01:21:55,866 --> 01:21:58,744
♪ Side by side ♪
2282
01:21:58,786 --> 01:22:01,414
♪ Hand in hand ♪
2283
01:22:01,455 --> 01:22:06,293
♪ We speak a language
no one else can understand ♪
2284
01:22:06,335 --> 01:22:09,255
- ♪ Hear those cheers ♪
- [CAMERAS CLICKING]
2285
01:22:09,296 --> 01:22:11,549
♪ Strike up the band ♪
2286
01:22:11,590 --> 01:22:16,053
♪ We know that divided we'll fall ♪
2287
01:22:16,095 --> 01:22:23,269
♪ So together we stand. ♪
2288
01:22:25,938 --> 01:22:27,106
[CHUCKLES]
2289
01:22:27,148 --> 01:22:29,191
[PANTING]
2290
01:22:32,820 --> 01:22:34,822
[PANTS, WHIMPERS]
2291
01:22:34,864 --> 01:22:37,241
[ONE PERSON CLAPPING]
2292
01:22:38,951 --> 01:22:41,579
[HYPERVENTILATING]
2293
01:22:41,620 --> 01:22:43,873
[CRYING]
2294
01:22:43,914 --> 01:22:45,916
Oh, Tabitha.
2295
01:22:45,958 --> 01:22:47,376
[GASPS]
Gramps?
2296
01:22:47,418 --> 01:22:49,086
Nana? Mom?
2297
01:22:49,128 --> 01:22:50,254
Oh, no!
2298
01:22:50,296 --> 01:22:52,173
- [GRUNTS]
- Oh, my gosh, Tabitha.
2299
01:22:52,214 --> 01:22:54,049
You did such a great job.
2300
01:22:54,091 --> 01:22:57,303
Well, that's just horribly rude of you all.
2301
01:22:57,344 --> 01:22:58,637
Come on, everybody.
2302
01:22:58,679 --> 01:23:02,516
Uh, how about a standing ovation?
2303
01:23:02,558 --> 01:23:05,478
- [LAUGHS] Very good.
- [TINA GASPS]
2304
01:23:05,519 --> 01:23:07,104
They're zombies!
2305
01:23:07,146 --> 01:23:08,814
We did it!
2306
01:23:08,856 --> 01:23:12,735
- The baby revolution has begun.
- [BABIES CHEERING, LAUGHING]
2307
01:23:12,777 --> 01:23:15,070
No more need for costumes.
2308
01:23:15,112 --> 01:23:16,989
[YELLS, LAUGHS]
2309
01:23:17,031 --> 01:23:19,200
Who wants cake?
2310
01:23:20,117 --> 01:23:21,577
Oh, my gosh.
2311
01:23:21,619 --> 01:23:24,163
ARMSTRONG: Happy B-Day, everybody.
2312
01:23:24,205 --> 01:23:26,207
Daddy, Uncle Ted.
2313
01:23:26,248 --> 01:23:27,792
Come in. Where are you?
2314
01:23:27,833 --> 01:23:30,127
[CRYING]
2315
01:23:31,754 --> 01:23:33,756
[♪♪♪]
2316
01:23:33,798 --> 01:23:36,092
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
2317
01:23:36,133 --> 01:23:38,135
[SNIFFLES]
2318
01:23:38,177 --> 01:23:40,137
TINA: Here you go, sis.
2319
01:23:40,179 --> 01:23:42,681
Now, I already used this,
so I know it's safe.
2320
01:23:42,723 --> 01:23:44,475
Thanks.
2321
01:23:45,851 --> 01:23:48,395
Wait. Are you t-talking?
2322
01:23:48,437 --> 01:23:50,397
[CHUCKLING] I know.
It's pretty weird, isn't it?
2323
01:23:50,439 --> 01:23:52,650
[SCREAMS]
Oh, my gosh, you're talking!
2324
01:23:52,691 --> 01:23:54,110
It's an emergency.
2325
01:23:54,151 --> 01:23:56,445
I'm on a supersecret mission from BabyCorp.
2326
01:23:56,487 --> 01:23:57,446
[GASPS]
2327
01:23:57,488 --> 01:23:59,865
You mean Dad's stories are true?
2328
01:23:59,907 --> 01:24:01,784
That's what the suit says.
2329
01:24:01,826 --> 01:24:02,993
How do I look?
2330
01:24:03,035 --> 01:24:04,412
No way!
2331
01:24:04,453 --> 01:24:06,455
Now, I can't get ahold of Dad or Uncle Ted,
2332
01:24:06,497 --> 01:24:08,374
so I need your help, big sis.
2333
01:24:08,416 --> 01:24:10,000
Wait, wait.
Dad's here?
2334
01:24:10,042 --> 01:24:11,502
They've been here the whole time.
2335
01:24:11,544 --> 01:24:13,462
- Where?
- I don't have much time to explain,
2336
01:24:13,504 --> 01:24:15,840
but Dr. Armstrong is a baby.
2337
01:24:15,881 --> 01:24:17,800
A very bad, bad baby.
2338
01:24:17,842 --> 01:24:21,679
Soon, the world is gonna be our playground.
2339
01:24:21,720 --> 01:24:24,140
- Whee! [GRUNTS]
- ["PUSH IT" BY SALT-N-PEPA PLAYING]
2340
01:24:24,181 --> 01:24:25,516
[LAUGHS]
2341
01:24:25,558 --> 01:24:27,893
Now we can make parents do whatever we want.
2342
01:24:27,935 --> 01:24:30,020
Awesome! Yeah!
2343
01:24:30,062 --> 01:24:32,982
No more rules.
2344
01:24:33,023 --> 01:24:35,693
Sayonara, Mama and Papa.
2345
01:24:35,734 --> 01:24:37,027
Yeah.
2346
01:24:37,069 --> 01:24:38,154
[BABIES LAUGHING]
2347
01:24:38,195 --> 01:24:39,488
- Mom?
- Dad?
2348
01:24:39,530 --> 01:24:40,489
Grandpa?
2349
01:24:40,531 --> 01:24:42,199
Whoa. Are you kidding me?
2350
01:24:42,241 --> 01:24:44,326
We need to shut it down
before it goes global.
2351
01:24:44,368 --> 01:24:46,495
- ARMSTRONG: Yeah. [LAUGHS]
- What are we gonna do?
2352
01:24:46,537 --> 01:24:48,748
Okay, we need to find the big whatchamacallit
2353
01:24:48,789 --> 01:24:50,374
that controls the parents' phones.
2354
01:24:50,416 --> 01:24:51,917
- The server.
- Yes. Yes.
2355
01:24:51,959 --> 01:24:54,086
Is there a big one
of those whatsits at school?
2356
01:24:54,128 --> 01:24:55,671
Uh, let's see.
2357
01:24:55,713 --> 01:24:58,841
Well, servers get really hot,
so you need air ducts.
2358
01:24:58,883 --> 01:25:00,176
TINA: Now you're thinking!
2359
01:25:00,217 --> 01:25:02,386
TABITHA: Which intersect at the acorn!
2360
01:25:02,428 --> 01:25:04,722
- A-plus!
- Come on.
2361
01:25:04,764 --> 01:25:06,182
- This way.
- [GASPS]
2362
01:25:06,223 --> 01:25:08,434
Opportunity knocks.
2363
01:25:08,476 --> 01:25:11,020
First, we need to make a quick pit stop.
2364
01:25:11,061 --> 01:25:14,356
[AUTOMATED VOICE, DISTORTED]
Your time has concluded.
2365
01:25:14,398 --> 01:25:16,525
- [BOTH PANTING]
- It looks like this is it, Tim.
2366
01:25:16,567 --> 01:25:18,861
Well, hey, at least we have
2367
01:25:18,903 --> 01:25:22,531
these last final precious moments together.
2368
01:25:23,741 --> 01:25:25,951
Precious. Precious!
2369
01:25:25,993 --> 01:25:28,412
[WHISTLING]
2370
01:25:29,205 --> 01:25:30,956
- [♪♪♪]
- [WHINNIES]
2371
01:25:32,166 --> 01:25:35,211
- Oh, right. Precious. Precious!
- [CONTINUES WHISTLING]
2372
01:25:35,252 --> 01:25:37,379
[♪♪♪]
2373
01:25:38,631 --> 01:25:40,758
- [TED CONTINUES WHISTLING]
- [TIM SPUTTERING]
2374
01:25:44,095 --> 01:25:46,514
[WHISTLING AND SPUTTERING CONTINUE]
2375
01:25:48,015 --> 01:25:50,267
[BANGING ON GLASS]
2376
01:25:55,815 --> 01:25:57,233
[BOTH GASPING]
2377
01:25:57,274 --> 01:25:58,859
[GRUNTS]
2378
01:25:59,819 --> 01:26:00,986
[COUGHING]
2379
01:26:01,028 --> 01:26:01,987
[WHINNIES]
2380
01:26:02,029 --> 01:26:04,073
That's my girl.
2381
01:26:04,115 --> 01:26:05,241
Thank you.
2382
01:26:05,282 --> 01:26:07,243
[SPUTTERS, SPITS]
2383
01:26:07,284 --> 01:26:08,494
[GASPS]
Tina?
2384
01:26:08,536 --> 01:26:09,912
Tina, Tina, come in.
It's Daddy.
2385
01:26:09,954 --> 01:26:12,289
Daddy! Listen, we have
to shut down the server.
2386
01:26:12,331 --> 01:26:14,083
- It's in the acorn.
- Whoa.
2387
01:26:14,125 --> 01:26:15,751
This is so weird.
2388
01:26:15,793 --> 01:26:17,044
I call shotgun.
2389
01:26:17,086 --> 01:26:18,129
Quick, to the acorn!
2390
01:26:18,170 --> 01:26:19,713
- TED: Hyah!
- [NEIGHING]
2391
01:26:20,881 --> 01:26:22,425
BOTH: Yeehaw!
2392
01:26:22,466 --> 01:26:24,260
Hold on to your chaps, pal.
2393
01:26:24,301 --> 01:26:25,362
- [NINJA BABY SHOUTS]
- Whoa!
2394
01:26:25,386 --> 01:26:27,638
[ALL WHOOPING]
2395
01:26:30,975 --> 01:26:32,977
- [SCREAMS]
- Oh, no!
2396
01:26:33,978 --> 01:26:36,105
Glue!
[LAUGHS]
2397
01:26:36,147 --> 01:26:38,607
Yah! Pixie dust! Aha.
2398
01:26:38,649 --> 01:26:40,025
- Yeah, baby.
- Yes. [WHINNIES]
2399
01:26:40,067 --> 01:26:42,361
[BABBLING]
2400
01:26:42,403 --> 01:26:43,988
[EERIE CHUCKLING]
2401
01:26:44,029 --> 01:26:45,906
[SHOUTS]
2402
01:26:45,948 --> 01:26:47,867
[EERIE CHUCKLING]
2403
01:26:47,908 --> 01:26:49,285
Wha...?
2404
01:26:49,326 --> 01:26:51,495
CREEPY GIRL: Where'd I go?
2405
01:26:52,329 --> 01:26:54,623
- Whoa!
- I like your pajamas.
2406
01:26:54,665 --> 01:26:55,499
[SCREAMS]
2407
01:26:55,541 --> 01:26:58,794
[NINJA BABIES CRYING]
2408
01:26:58,836 --> 01:27:00,504
Where are you going?
2409
01:27:00,546 --> 01:27:01,964
- Hyah!
- [WHOOPING]
2410
01:27:02,006 --> 01:27:03,841
- Glue.
- TED: I'm proud to be a yellow.
2411
01:27:03,883 --> 01:27:05,134
I like your pony.
2412
01:27:05,176 --> 01:27:06,177
[BOTH SCREAM]
2413
01:27:06,218 --> 01:27:07,470
Thank you.
2414
01:27:07,511 --> 01:27:09,472
- [CRYING]
- [OVER RADIO]ARMSTRONG: What?
2415
01:27:09,513 --> 01:27:12,391
Ah, ah, ah.
No, no, no.
2416
01:27:14,101 --> 01:27:16,187
[WHIRRING]
2417
01:27:16,228 --> 01:27:19,440
Now let's crack that big nut.
[GRUNTS]
2418
01:27:20,316 --> 01:27:22,610
Oh, no.
It's about to go worldwide.
2419
01:27:22,651 --> 01:27:24,862
How are we gonna get up there?
2420
01:27:25,863 --> 01:27:27,573
- Really?
- ARMSTRONG: Well, you got grit.
2421
01:27:27,615 --> 01:27:29,200
I'll give you that.
2422
01:27:29,241 --> 01:27:31,243
Gumption, even. Very admirable.
2423
01:27:31,285 --> 01:27:33,412
And yet, uh, annoying.
2424
01:27:33,454 --> 01:27:35,664
Quite annoying. Yeah.
2425
01:27:35,706 --> 01:27:38,250
I'm gonna have to,
you know, uh, stop you.
2426
01:27:38,292 --> 01:27:39,502
Glue me, glue me, glue me.
2427
01:27:39,543 --> 01:27:41,045
Precious, sic him.
2428
01:27:41,087 --> 01:27:42,379
You're too little and too late.
2429
01:27:42,421 --> 01:27:44,507
- [CLANG]
- Ah, ba-bad dog.
2430
01:27:44,548 --> 01:27:47,843
- Pets aren't allowed in school.
- Aah! Precious!
2431
01:27:49,345 --> 01:27:51,013
And you, my pudgy protégé.
2432
01:27:51,055 --> 01:27:52,348
Go, go, go, go!
Move! Move!
2433
01:27:52,389 --> 01:27:54,350
- I offered you the world.
- [BOTH YELL]
2434
01:27:54,391 --> 01:27:55,827
- We could have been partners.
- [GROANING]
2435
01:27:55,851 --> 01:27:57,686
I've got something better than a partner.
2436
01:27:57,728 --> 01:27:59,772
- I have a brother.
- Yeah!
2437
01:27:59,814 --> 01:28:01,982
- [GRUNTS] Let go.
- No, you let go.
2438
01:28:02,024 --> 01:28:04,193
Wow. Point taken.
2439
01:28:04,235 --> 01:28:05,903
What? What's going on?
2440
01:28:07,071 --> 01:28:09,281
[YELLING]
2441
01:28:09,323 --> 01:28:10,533
Hey, that's my leisure suit.
2442
01:28:10,574 --> 01:28:11,951
It looks better on her.
2443
01:28:11,992 --> 01:28:13,452
Hands up, diapers down.
2444
01:28:13,494 --> 01:28:14,870
Things are about to get weird.
2445
01:28:14,912 --> 01:28:16,580
- Yeah, that's my girls!
- [TED LAUGHS]
2446
01:28:16,622 --> 01:28:18,541
- That's really Dad?
- Yep.
2447
01:28:18,582 --> 01:28:20,751
I said a lot of stuff to that kid.
2448
01:28:20,793 --> 01:28:22,545
Well, quite the family reunion.
2449
01:28:22,586 --> 01:28:24,004
Uh, the more the merrier.
2450
01:28:24,046 --> 01:28:26,173
- I say let's call your parents.
- TIM: Oh, no.
2451
01:28:26,215 --> 01:28:27,550
[ZOMBIELIKE MURMURING]
2452
01:28:27,591 --> 01:28:29,385
- Uh-oh.
- Okay.
2453
01:28:29,427 --> 01:28:31,720
Mommy and Daddy,
let's hug 'em-- to death.
2454
01:28:31,762 --> 01:28:33,639
Oh, don't worry about us.
Get to the server.
2455
01:28:33,681 --> 01:28:35,558
- Go, Tina, go!
- [WHOOPS]
2456
01:28:35,599 --> 01:28:38,602
- [ARMSTRONG STAMMERING]
- [TINA GRUNTS, YELLS]
2457
01:28:38,644 --> 01:28:40,438
- Hey!
- You got this, Tina.
2458
01:28:40,479 --> 01:28:41,814
Get down from there.
2459
01:28:41,856 --> 01:28:43,566
TED: Go for his lollies!
2460
01:28:43,607 --> 01:28:45,901
Never touch another man's pony.
2461
01:28:45,943 --> 01:28:46,986
[ALL GRUNT]
2462
01:28:47,027 --> 01:28:49,363
Here. Stick around.
Stick around.
2463
01:28:49,405 --> 01:28:51,782
Uh, Tim, what do we do now?!
2464
01:28:51,824 --> 01:28:53,743
Don't move.
Maybe they won't see us.
2465
01:28:53,784 --> 01:28:55,411
TED: They see us, Tim. They see us.
2466
01:28:55,453 --> 01:28:56,787
TIM: Did you move? I didn't move.
2467
01:28:56,829 --> 01:28:58,247
- TED: Really, Tim?
- [GRUNTING]
2468
01:28:58,289 --> 01:29:00,082
Oh. Hey, that's a little too high now.
2469
01:29:00,124 --> 01:29:02,918
Don't look down.
Look straight ahead, okay?
2470
01:29:02,960 --> 01:29:04,795
[GRUNTS, WHIMPERS]
2471
01:29:04,837 --> 01:29:06,464
- [BUZZER SOUNDS]
- It's locked.
2472
01:29:06,505 --> 01:29:08,257
Can I give you a hand?
2473
01:29:08,299 --> 01:29:09,568
Of course, I mean that facetiously,
2474
01:29:09,592 --> 01:29:12,261
because the hand acts as a...
as a key.
2475
01:29:12,303 --> 01:29:13,596
No, no. No, no, no.
2476
01:29:13,637 --> 01:29:15,306
- Hey, hey. No, no, no, no.
- Thanks, sis.
2477
01:29:15,347 --> 01:29:17,600
[GRUNTS]
Stay away from my server.
2478
01:29:17,641 --> 01:29:19,101
- [YELLS]
- [GRUNTS]
2479
01:29:19,143 --> 01:29:20,620
- Shut it down, Tabitha.
- What are you doing?
2480
01:29:20,644 --> 01:29:22,521
What are you doing?
No, no, no! No!
2481
01:29:22,563 --> 01:29:24,273
Don't do that.
2482
01:29:24,315 --> 01:29:25,649
- Oh, no!
- [ZOMBIELIKE GRUNTING]
2483
01:29:25,691 --> 01:29:27,276
- Hugs.
- Hug Grandpa.
2484
01:29:27,318 --> 01:29:28,861
It's Night ofthe Living Boomers.
2485
01:29:28,903 --> 01:29:31,947
- Dad, stop! [SCREAMS]
- ADULTS: Hugs.
2486
01:29:31,989 --> 01:29:33,032
[YELLS]
2487
01:29:33,073 --> 01:29:34,450
[GRUNTS, GASPS]
2488
01:29:34,492 --> 01:29:36,619
[GROANS] Back.
Back, you little monsters.
2489
01:29:36,660 --> 01:29:39,038
- You back off, candy pants.
- [YELLS, GRUNTS]
2490
01:29:39,080 --> 01:29:40,206
[SCREAMS]
2491
01:29:40,247 --> 01:29:42,291
Ha! Got your nose.
2492
01:29:42,333 --> 01:29:43,667
[GRUNTING]
2493
01:29:43,709 --> 01:29:46,128
Oh, right in the breadbasket!
2494
01:29:46,170 --> 01:29:48,297
[BOTH GRUNTING RAPIDLY]
2495
01:29:48,339 --> 01:29:51,008
[BOTH BABBLING]
2496
01:29:53,594 --> 01:29:54,845
- Ow!
- Ha!
2497
01:29:54,887 --> 01:29:56,323
- Knocked his block off.
- Ah, poopy.
2498
01:29:56,347 --> 01:29:58,140
Tina, I think I got it. Yes!
2499
01:29:58,182 --> 01:30:00,309
Don't hit that button.
Don't hit that button. Aah!
2500
01:30:00,351 --> 01:30:02,144
Ow! Ooh!
2501
01:30:02,186 --> 01:30:04,855
- And... enter.
- ARMSTRONG: No, no! Stop it!
2502
01:30:04,897 --> 01:30:06,899
- [SCREAMS]
- Cut it out. [MUTTERS]
2503
01:30:06,941 --> 01:30:09,693
- Look what you made me do.
- [GASPS] The fire alarm.
2504
01:30:09,735 --> 01:30:11,487
- ARMSTRONG: Darn it.
- TABITHA: Dad!
2505
01:30:11,529 --> 01:30:13,864
Uncle Ted!
Pull the fire alarm!
2506
01:30:13,906 --> 01:30:15,506
- The girls need help.
- TED: No kissies!
2507
01:30:15,533 --> 01:30:17,785
The girls need us.
[GRUNTS]
2508
01:30:17,827 --> 01:30:20,621
- [ALARM RINGING]
- [GRUNTS] Time's up, halflings.
2509
01:30:20,663 --> 01:30:23,666
[SPUTTERS]
Great galloping gargoyles!
2510
01:30:23,707 --> 01:30:27,169
- [TED SCREAMING]
- WIZZIE: What? What?
2511
01:30:27,211 --> 01:30:29,422
Tim! Get to the fire alarm!
2512
01:30:29,463 --> 01:30:30,881
I'll hold them back.
2513
01:30:30,923 --> 01:30:33,175
TED: Make it rain, baby.
2514
01:30:33,217 --> 01:30:34,510
TIM: I'm on it.
2515
01:30:34,552 --> 01:30:35,970
What's the matter?
2516
01:30:36,011 --> 01:30:37,572
[VOICE CRACKS]
You can't handle the awkward phase?
2517
01:30:37,596 --> 01:30:38,681
[WHIMPERING]
2518
01:30:38,722 --> 01:30:41,058
Go, Marcos... uh, Dad. Go!
2519
01:30:41,100 --> 01:30:42,560
- [GASPS]
- I'm back!
2520
01:30:42,601 --> 01:30:44,061
- Here we go.
- Come on.
2521
01:30:44,103 --> 01:30:46,188
How about another round,
you tough guy? Come on!
2522
01:30:46,230 --> 01:30:47,606
Ow. Stop it.
2523
01:30:47,648 --> 01:30:49,024
I still got these.
[GRUNTING]
2524
01:30:49,066 --> 01:30:50,693
TABITHA: You put my sister down.
2525
01:30:50,734 --> 01:30:53,904
B-Day will happen,
whether you like it or not.
2526
01:30:53,946 --> 01:30:56,198
- You shall not pass!
- [ZOMBIELIKE MURMURING]
2527
01:30:56,240 --> 01:30:58,117
Uh, you shall not pass.
2528
01:30:58,159 --> 01:30:59,827
No! Stop passing.
2529
01:30:59,869 --> 01:31:01,537
- [GRUNTS]
- [FIRE ALARM RINGING]
2530
01:31:01,579 --> 01:31:02,788
Yeah, Dad!
2531
01:31:02,830 --> 01:31:04,248
Way to go!
[WHOOPS]
2532
01:31:04,290 --> 01:31:06,375
- [ALARM STOPS]
- [TABITHA GASPS]
2533
01:31:06,417 --> 01:31:07,960
TABITHA: That's it?
2534
01:31:08,002 --> 01:31:10,254
That's right. Why? What?
The school's expensive.
2535
01:31:10,296 --> 01:31:13,382
- I had to cut costs someplace.
- [BOTH GRUNT]
2536
01:31:13,424 --> 01:31:14,550
Oh, no. It's not working.
2537
01:31:14,592 --> 01:31:15,718
Did you pull it right?
2538
01:31:15,760 --> 01:31:17,052
How else you gonna pull it?
2539
01:31:17,094 --> 01:31:19,096
[LAUGHS]ARMSTRONG: You'll see I'm right.
2540
01:31:19,138 --> 01:31:20,723
I'll show everybody.
2541
01:31:20,765 --> 01:31:23,893
The age of parents is over.
2542
01:31:23,934 --> 01:31:26,353
[BABIES COOING, MURMURING]
2543
01:31:28,773 --> 01:31:31,233
ARMSTRONG: Yay, yay, yay.
[SIGHS]
2544
01:31:31,275 --> 01:31:33,903
How about you watch me have a little toast?
2545
01:31:33,944 --> 01:31:37,198
To the baby revolution and to me.
2546
01:31:37,239 --> 01:31:38,657
[GASPS]
2547
01:31:40,785 --> 01:31:42,703
- It's time for the candy volcano...
- Mmm, mmm.
2548
01:31:42,745 --> 01:31:44,585
- Oh, that's good.
- TABITHA & TINA: Of doom!
2549
01:31:44,622 --> 01:31:46,582
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
2550
01:31:46,624 --> 01:31:48,084
No, no, no! No!
2551
01:31:48,125 --> 01:31:50,586
[YELLS]
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
2552
01:31:50,628 --> 01:31:52,254
- No, no, no.
- Boom shakalaka?
2553
01:31:52,296 --> 01:31:53,923
- Boom!
- Don't do that!
2554
01:31:53,964 --> 01:31:56,217
- [CRACKLING, SIZZLING]
- [SCREAMING]
2555
01:31:56,258 --> 01:31:58,511
[BOTH GRUNT]
2556
01:31:58,552 --> 01:32:00,805
- Whoa!
- [SCREAMING]
2557
01:32:00,846 --> 01:32:02,431
- [GRUNTS]
- TINA: Oh, no!
2558
01:32:02,473 --> 01:32:03,933
- Tabitha!
- [ARMSTRONG GRUNTING]
2559
01:32:03,974 --> 01:32:04,934
[GRUNTS]
2560
01:32:04,975 --> 01:32:06,811
No! Someone help me, please!
2561
01:32:06,852 --> 01:32:08,771
Tabitha, hang on!
2562
01:32:08,813 --> 01:32:11,107
Ted, I need upsies-- now.
2563
01:32:11,148 --> 01:32:12,858
[BOTH GRUNT]
2564
01:32:12,900 --> 01:32:15,861
- [YELPS, GRUNTS]
- [TABITHA SCREAMING]
2565
01:32:17,613 --> 01:32:19,281
Dad, help me!
2566
01:32:19,323 --> 01:32:20,407
Look at you.
2567
01:32:20,449 --> 01:32:22,284
You're smart. You're strong.
2568
01:32:22,326 --> 01:32:23,619
You don't need parents.
2569
01:32:23,661 --> 01:32:25,663
What can they possibly offer you?
2570
01:32:25,704 --> 01:32:28,124
- How about unconditional love?
- [GASPS, YELLS]
2571
01:32:28,165 --> 01:32:29,875
- That's what.
- No, no, no. No.
2572
01:32:29,917 --> 01:32:32,086
- Sayonara.
- No, no, no. No. [SCREAMS]
2573
01:32:33,671 --> 01:32:36,298
- [GRUNTS]
- [ARMSTRONG SCREAMS, WHIMPERS]
2574
01:32:36,340 --> 01:32:37,675
TIM: Tabitha!
2575
01:32:37,716 --> 01:32:39,468
[STRAINED GRUNTING]
2576
01:32:39,510 --> 01:32:41,429
[YELLS]
2577
01:32:41,470 --> 01:32:43,097
- I'm gonna fall!
- Tabitha!
2578
01:32:43,139 --> 01:32:44,306
Hang on!
2579
01:32:44,348 --> 01:32:45,683
[SCREAMS]
2580
01:32:45,724 --> 01:32:48,018
I got you. I got you.
2581
01:32:48,060 --> 01:32:49,854
[BOTH SIGH]
2582
01:32:49,895 --> 01:32:52,106
I got you, Tabitha.
2583
01:32:52,148 --> 01:32:54,733
[PANTING]
2584
01:32:54,775 --> 01:32:56,694
I got you.
2585
01:32:56,735 --> 01:32:59,238
That's my big brother.
2586
01:33:00,030 --> 01:33:03,033
Thanks, Marcos Lightspeed.
2587
01:33:05,077 --> 01:33:06,704
Mwah.
2588
01:33:07,538 --> 01:33:09,540
I thought we both had to grow up.
2589
01:33:09,582 --> 01:33:12,001
Well, let's not grow up too fast.
2590
01:33:12,042 --> 01:33:13,502
[SIGHS]
2591
01:33:13,544 --> 01:33:14,920
I love you, Dad.
2592
01:33:14,962 --> 01:33:16,839
I love you, Tabitha Templeton.
2593
01:33:16,881 --> 01:33:19,049
Aw. You see that?
2594
01:33:19,091 --> 01:33:21,343
And you wanted to take it all away.
2595
01:33:21,385 --> 01:33:22,845
- Where you going?
- Home.
2596
01:33:22,887 --> 01:33:25,723
You know, Doc,
childhood doesn't last forever,
2597
01:33:25,765 --> 01:33:27,600
but family sure does.
2598
01:33:27,641 --> 01:33:29,351
Uncle Ted! Heads up!
2599
01:33:29,393 --> 01:33:31,145
- [SCREAMS, GRUNTS]
- Woo-hoo!
2600
01:33:31,187 --> 01:33:33,522
We win! Get ready to order some pizzas.
2601
01:33:33,564 --> 01:33:35,816
[TED CHUCKLING]
2602
01:33:37,735 --> 01:33:40,029
[♪♪♪]
2603
01:33:42,782 --> 01:33:44,366
[BABIES GASPING]
2604
01:33:44,408 --> 01:33:45,993
[CHEERING]
2605
01:33:46,035 --> 01:33:47,119
Woo-hoo!
2606
01:33:47,161 --> 01:33:49,288
- [SQUEALS]
- Cool! [LAUGHS]
2607
01:33:50,414 --> 01:33:52,583
- [GASPS]
- [MURMURING]
2608
01:33:52,625 --> 01:33:54,627
[WIZZIE LAUGHING]
2609
01:33:54,668 --> 01:33:57,088
Huzzah!
[LAUGHS]
2610
01:33:57,129 --> 01:33:59,173
Huzzah!
2611
01:34:01,425 --> 01:34:03,677
- [SIGHS, GRUNTS]
- [APPLAUSE]
2612
01:34:03,719 --> 01:34:05,971
[CHEERING]
2613
01:34:08,265 --> 01:34:09,642
Oh, sweet.
2614
01:34:09,683 --> 01:34:11,727
He who findeth keepeth.
2615
01:34:11,769 --> 01:34:13,229
[CLEARS THROAT]
2616
01:34:13,270 --> 01:34:14,313
[KIDS CHEERING]
2617
01:34:14,355 --> 01:34:17,775
Mommy, Daddy,
I missed you so much.
2618
01:34:17,817 --> 01:34:20,194
Ooh, ooh, ooh. Yay!
2619
01:34:20,236 --> 01:34:21,403
Junior!
2620
01:34:21,445 --> 01:34:23,197
- Glue!
- [JIMBO YELPS]
2621
01:34:23,239 --> 01:34:25,324
So soft.
2622
01:34:25,366 --> 01:34:26,784
Where are we going?
2623
01:34:26,826 --> 01:34:28,077
Not bad, Templetons.
2624
01:34:28,119 --> 01:34:29,829
Woo-hoo! Yay, Templetons.
2625
01:34:29,870 --> 01:34:31,330
Yeah, mission accomplished.
2626
01:34:31,372 --> 01:34:34,500
And as a bonus,
we stopped Armstrong, too.
2627
01:34:34,542 --> 01:34:36,043
- Huh?
- What?
2628
01:34:36,085 --> 01:34:38,921
My real mission was
getting you two back together.
2629
01:34:38,963 --> 01:34:41,757
- A-plus! See me after class.
- [TABITHA CHUCKLES]
2630
01:34:41,799 --> 01:34:43,509
Wait, so you never actually quit?
2631
01:34:43,551 --> 01:34:44,760
- Nope.
- Huh.
2632
01:34:44,802 --> 01:34:45,928
Well played.
2633
01:34:45,970 --> 01:34:47,263
I don't like to mix the two,
2634
01:34:47,304 --> 01:34:48,806
but I will say it was never business.
2635
01:34:48,848 --> 01:34:50,349
It was always personal.
2636
01:34:50,391 --> 01:34:51,725
You know what, kid?
2637
01:34:51,767 --> 01:34:54,019
You're the best boss I ever had.
2638
01:34:54,061 --> 01:34:55,646
- Thank you, chief.
- [TABITHA CHUCKLES]
2639
01:34:55,688 --> 01:34:57,273
CAROL: Tim! You actually made it.
2640
01:34:57,314 --> 01:34:59,483
- Yeah.
- I mean, I knew you'd make it.
2641
01:34:59,525 --> 01:35:01,152
- Teddy.
- Teddy, you're here.
2642
01:35:01,193 --> 01:35:03,320
- And look what you're wearing.
- Uh...
2643
01:35:03,362 --> 01:35:05,281
Sweetheart, I cried.
2644
01:35:05,322 --> 01:35:06,449
Then I went blank.
2645
01:35:06,490 --> 01:35:08,242
Oh, come on.
Every-Everyone get together.
2646
01:35:08,284 --> 01:35:10,119
This... We got to get this.
Here we go.
2647
01:35:10,161 --> 01:35:11,787
- Dad, no! No!
- What?
2648
01:35:11,829 --> 01:35:13,289
[CAMERA CLICKS]
2649
01:35:13,330 --> 01:35:14,415
[GUITAR PLAYING]
2650
01:35:14,457 --> 01:35:15,708
TABITHA:♪ We know that ♪
2651
01:35:15,750 --> 01:35:17,585
♪ Divided we'll fall ♪
2652
01:35:17,626 --> 01:35:23,007
♪ So together we stand ♪
2653
01:35:25,009 --> 01:35:27,803
♪ We know that divided we'll fall ♪
2654
01:35:27,845 --> 01:35:29,513
[CAMERA CLICKS]
2655
01:35:29,555 --> 01:35:35,311
♪ So together we stand. ♪
2656
01:35:35,352 --> 01:35:37,188
- Yay, Tabitha!
- That was beautiful!
2657
01:35:37,229 --> 01:35:39,190
- The crowd goes wild!
- [TINA LAUGHING]
2658
01:35:39,231 --> 01:35:41,484
[CHUCKLES]
Thank you. Thank you.
2659
01:35:41,525 --> 01:35:42,818
- [WHINNIES]
- Aah!
2660
01:35:42,860 --> 01:35:44,487
Aw, hey, Precious.
2661
01:35:44,528 --> 01:35:45,863
[CHUCKLES]
You're amazing.
2662
01:35:45,905 --> 01:35:47,740
Oh, I wish Teddy could have been here.
2663
01:35:47,782 --> 01:35:49,825
Yeah, I know. Me, too.
2664
01:35:49,867 --> 01:35:51,660
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
- [GASPS]
2665
01:35:51,702 --> 01:35:53,537
- Hmm.
- [SQUEALING]
2666
01:35:55,706 --> 01:35:57,333
Hey, I was just...
2667
01:36:04,006 --> 01:36:05,966
TED:Merry Christmas, Tim.
2668
01:36:06,008 --> 01:36:08,177
I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you,
2669
01:36:08,219 --> 01:36:10,513
but please enjoy this
2670
01:36:10,554 --> 01:36:13,224
inappropriately lavish gift instead.
2671
01:36:18,896 --> 01:36:22,191
You've given me the greatest gift of all.
2672
01:36:22,233 --> 01:36:23,901
- You.
- [CHUCKLES]
2673
01:36:23,943 --> 01:36:27,363
Love, the best brother in the world.
2674
01:36:27,404 --> 01:36:29,698
P.S. Duck.
2675
01:36:29,740 --> 01:36:31,534
[SHOUTS]
2676
01:36:31,575 --> 01:36:34,203
[GROANING, SPITTING]
2677
01:36:34,245 --> 01:36:35,538
In your face, Leslie!
2678
01:36:35,579 --> 01:36:37,331
[CHUCKLING]
Hey. Oh, it is on, Lindsey!
2679
01:36:37,373 --> 01:36:39,834
- No. No, no, no, no. Don't, don't, don't.
- Come here!
2680
01:36:39,875 --> 01:36:41,043
I'm younger than you.
2681
01:36:41,085 --> 01:36:42,461
You're a bigger target.
2682
01:36:42,503 --> 01:36:44,064
- [LAUGHS] I got you so good!
- [TED GRUNTS]
2683
01:36:44,088 --> 01:36:45,548
- [LAUGHING]
- TED: No, you didn't.
2684
01:36:45,589 --> 01:36:46,882
Aah! You missed me!
2685
01:36:46,924 --> 01:36:48,551
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
2686
01:36:48,592 --> 01:36:49,969
- Ambush.
- Exactly.
2687
01:36:50,010 --> 01:36:51,429
- TIM: Ow!
- TED: Sneak attack!
2688
01:36:51,470 --> 01:36:53,556
Oh, isn't it great
to see them fighting again?
2689
01:36:53,597 --> 01:36:54,890
[SIGHS]
Finally.
2690
01:36:54,932 --> 01:36:56,559
[TOY PHONE RINGING]
2691
01:36:57,893 --> 01:36:59,603
Shouldn't you pick up?
2692
01:36:59,645 --> 01:37:01,564
Nah, we got some family business.
2693
01:37:01,605 --> 01:37:03,107
Woo-hoo! Yeah!
2694
01:37:03,149 --> 01:37:05,276
- [CAROL GASPS]
- [RINGING CONTINUES]
2695
01:37:07,862 --> 01:37:10,448
[ON PHONE]CHILD: Tina, we have another assignment for you.
2696
01:37:10,489 --> 01:37:12,199
[GASPS, WHISPERS]
I'm listening.
2697
01:37:12,241 --> 01:37:14,243
JANICE: Grandma's coming in hot!
2698
01:37:14,285 --> 01:37:16,829
- You want some of Grandpa?
- Everyone, get Tagalong Teddy!
2699
01:37:16,871 --> 01:37:18,581
- TIM:It's true.
- Gotcha!
2700
01:37:18,622 --> 01:37:20,291
You can't stop time.
2701
01:37:20,332 --> 01:37:22,668
But every once in a while,
you get a second chance.
2702
01:37:22,710 --> 01:37:24,479
- TABITHA: I'm gonna get you!
- [PRECIOUS NEIGHS]
2703
01:37:24,503 --> 01:37:26,148
TIM:So, even though you're only a kid once...
2704
01:37:26,172 --> 01:37:27,965
well, unless you get
to be a kid twice,
2705
01:37:28,007 --> 01:37:30,217
which is really weird, to be honest,
2706
01:37:30,259 --> 01:37:33,220
but the point is
you have to grow up sometime.
2707
01:37:33,262 --> 01:37:35,473
- [WIZZIE LAUGHING]
- [CAMERA CLICKS]
2708
01:37:35,514 --> 01:37:38,225
And you should always
be nice to your brother.
2709
01:37:38,267 --> 01:37:40,311
TINA:Ah, that was really sweet, Daddy.
2710
01:37:40,352 --> 01:37:42,188
That'll be great for my report.
2711
01:37:42,229 --> 01:37:44,398
TIM:Okay, so... so that's it, then.
2712
01:37:44,440 --> 01:37:47,151
TINA:Well, actually, there's one more little thing.
2713
01:37:48,778 --> 01:37:51,030
[♪♪♪]
2714
01:37:59,955 --> 01:38:01,540
[DOOR OPENS]
2715
01:38:02,666 --> 01:38:04,710
Mama?
Papa?
2716
01:38:04,752 --> 01:38:06,045
DAD: Wha...
2717
01:38:06,087 --> 01:38:09,173
- [GASPS] Oh, my son.
- [MOM GASPING]
2718
01:38:09,215 --> 01:38:11,634
- [DAD SOBBING]
- [MOM LAUGHING]
2719
01:38:11,675 --> 01:38:13,761
MOM: You came home.
2720
01:38:13,803 --> 01:38:15,805
TIM:Oh, yeah. Right.
2721
01:38:15,846 --> 01:38:17,640
TINA:Okay, Pops. Now.
2722
01:38:17,681 --> 01:38:19,934
TIM:The end.
2723
01:38:19,975 --> 01:38:23,187
["TOGETHER WE STAND" PLAYING]
2724
01:38:31,987 --> 01:38:34,240
[CHILDREN'S CHORUS VOCALIZING]
2725
01:39:04,061 --> 01:39:06,272
[♪♪♪]
2726
01:39:15,739 --> 01:39:18,534
TABITHA:♪ Catch my eye ♪
2727
01:39:18,576 --> 01:39:21,328
♪ Take my hand ♪
2728
01:39:21,370 --> 01:39:26,709
♪ This bond is tighter
than we ever planned ♪
2729
01:39:26,751 --> 01:39:29,128
♪ Give me courage ♪
2730
01:39:29,170 --> 01:39:31,505
♪ So I can land ♪
2731
01:39:31,547 --> 01:39:35,092
♪ We know that divided we'll fall ♪
2732
01:39:35,134 --> 01:39:39,180
♪ So together we stand ♪
2733
01:39:40,264 --> 01:39:42,850
♪ Climb with me ♪
2734
01:39:42,892 --> 01:39:45,895
♪ Share my dreams ♪
2735
01:39:45,936 --> 01:39:47,688
♪ Tomorrow's brighter ♪
2736
01:39:47,730 --> 01:39:50,983
♪ Than it's ever been ♪
2737
01:39:51,025 --> 01:39:53,736
♪ Fear no danger ♪
2738
01:39:53,778 --> 01:39:56,113
♪ Make big plans ♪
2739
01:39:56,155 --> 01:39:59,784
♪ We know that divided we'll fall ♪
2740
01:39:59,825 --> 01:40:04,705
♪ So together we stand ♪
2741
01:40:04,747 --> 01:40:07,875
♪ Laugh and cry with me ♪
2742
01:40:07,917 --> 01:40:10,127
♪ Fly that high with me ♪
2743
01:40:10,169 --> 01:40:13,089
♪ See the sunset and the sunrise ♪
2744
01:40:13,130 --> 01:40:15,800
♪ The world looks so good
through our eyes ♪
2745
01:40:15,841 --> 01:40:17,676
♪ Like the moon ♪
2746
01:40:17,718 --> 01:40:19,887
♪ And stars at night ♪
2747
01:40:21,138 --> 01:40:23,891
♪ Rest your head ♪
2748
01:40:23,933 --> 01:40:26,602
♪ Tell me your thoughts ♪
2749
01:40:26,644 --> 01:40:29,855
♪ Everything I have and call mine ♪
2750
01:40:29,897 --> 01:40:32,024
♪ Is all yours ♪
2751
01:40:32,066 --> 01:40:34,819
♪ Sail that ocean ♪
2752
01:40:34,860 --> 01:40:37,279
♪ Find that sand ♪
2753
01:40:37,321 --> 01:40:40,783
♪ We know that divided we'll fall ♪
2754
01:40:40,825 --> 01:40:45,121
♪ So together we stand ♪
2755
01:40:45,162 --> 01:40:47,415
[CHILDREN'S CHORUS VOCALIZING]
2756
01:41:04,807 --> 01:41:07,351
♪ Reach with me ♪
2757
01:41:07,393 --> 01:41:10,438
♪ See the sky ♪
2758
01:41:10,479 --> 01:41:15,651
♪ I'll always be here
for the rest of your life ♪
2759
01:41:15,693 --> 01:41:18,362
♪ Side by side ♪
2760
01:41:18,404 --> 01:41:20,990
♪ Hand in hand ♪
2761
01:41:21,031 --> 01:41:26,746
♪ We speak a language
no one else can understand ♪
2762
01:41:26,787 --> 01:41:29,248
♪ Hear those cheers ♪
2763
01:41:29,290 --> 01:41:31,709
♪ Strike up the band ♪
2764
01:41:31,751 --> 01:41:35,129
♪ We know that divided we'll fall ♪
2765
01:41:35,171 --> 01:41:40,676
♪ So together we stand ♪
2766
01:41:42,386 --> 01:41:44,221
♪ We know that ♪
2767
01:41:44,263 --> 01:41:46,849
♪ Divided we'll fall ♪
2768
01:41:46,891 --> 01:41:54,064
♪ So together we stand. ♪
2769
01:41:54,106 --> 01:41:56,901
[SONG ENDS]
2770
01:41:56,942 --> 01:41:59,236
[♪♪♪]
2771
01:42:16,420 --> 01:42:18,714
[CHORUS VOCALIZING]
2772
01:42:28,974 --> 01:42:31,268
[♪♪♪]
2773
01:43:01,006 --> 01:43:03,300
[♪♪♪]
2774
01:43:33,038 --> 01:43:35,332
[♪♪♪]
2775
01:44:05,070 --> 01:44:07,364
[♪♪♪]
2776
01:44:37,103 --> 01:44:39,396
[♪♪♪]
2777
01:45:09,135 --> 01:45:11,429
[♪♪♪]
2778
01:45:41,167 --> 01:45:43,461
[♪♪♪]
2779
01:46:13,199 --> 01:46:15,493
[♪♪♪]
2780
01:46:45,231 --> 01:46:47,525
[♪♪♪]
2781
01:47:11,048 --> 01:47:13,050
[MUSIC FADES]
237487
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