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1
00:00:03,517 --> 00:00:05,353
(door opens)
2
00:00:08,661 --> 00:00:11,032
(footsteps approaching)
3
00:00:17,144 --> 00:00:19,181
(chains jingling)
4
00:00:36,015 --> 00:00:37,451
Hello.
5
00:00:39,222 --> 00:00:42,562
I'm Alan Strauss.
6
00:00:43,396 --> 00:00:45,233
Dr. Strauss.
7
00:00:46,402 --> 00:00:49,709
-Y-You're...?
-Candace.
8
00:00:49,809 --> 00:00:51,580
Sorry.
9
00:00:54,252 --> 00:00:55,688
I'm Sam's mother.
10
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,393
Oh.
11
00:01:00,197 --> 00:01:03,236
Is this... your house?
12
00:01:04,405 --> 00:01:07,746
Sam moved back in with me
when he split up with Mary.
13
00:01:07,846 --> 00:01:11,152
-Ah, I see.
-Did he...
14
00:01:12,923 --> 00:01:14,593
You know about Mary, don't you?
15
00:01:14,693 --> 00:01:17,431
I'm sorry, I can't
really discuss that.
16
00:01:17,532 --> 00:01:19,101
Of course. Yes.
17
00:01:19,201 --> 00:01:23,110
So, you know who I am?
18
00:01:23,243 --> 00:01:25,614
Of course I do.
19
00:01:25,715 --> 00:01:27,518
I loved your book.
20
00:01:28,754 --> 00:01:30,391
When his father left,
21
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,628
I started reading
all these books.
22
00:01:32,762 --> 00:01:35,167
You know, self-help.
23
00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:38,440
The Cactus and the Mirage
was one of my favorites.
24
00:01:38,541 --> 00:01:42,315
I had Sam read it, too,
but it didn't really help him,
25
00:01:42,415 --> 00:01:44,218
so I...
26
00:01:44,285 --> 00:01:46,356
told him he should try
real therapy.
27
00:01:46,456 --> 00:01:48,327
This isn't trying real therapy.
28
00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:49,663
Of course.
29
00:01:49,763 --> 00:01:52,067
I know how terrible this is.
30
00:01:52,134 --> 00:01:54,773
-Believe me, I know.
-(chains jingling)
31
00:01:58,113 --> 00:01:59,682
Unlock me.
32
00:01:59,816 --> 00:02:01,486
I don't have a key.
33
00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:03,591
(sighs) Well...
34
00:02:03,658 --> 00:02:05,829
call the police.
Then we can help Sam.
35
00:02:05,929 --> 00:02:07,464
CANDACE:
Please understand.
36
00:02:07,599 --> 00:02:11,206
I don't support him
in this at all.
37
00:02:11,306 --> 00:02:13,811
I'm not... like him.
38
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,086
But I can't turn in my own son.
39
00:02:18,152 --> 00:02:20,157
You're his mother.
Can't you tell him to stop this?
40
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,596
He's trying to stop.
I know it's-it's...
41
00:02:22,696 --> 00:02:25,266
Candace, please.
42
00:02:25,333 --> 00:02:28,507
I have kids.
A son and a daughter.
43
00:02:28,641 --> 00:02:31,513
They need me,
just like he needs you.
44
00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:34,819
I know this isn't right.
45
00:02:36,355 --> 00:02:38,060
But you have to help him.
46
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,330
He's my baby.
47
00:02:42,468 --> 00:02:44,271
♪
48
00:02:57,799 --> 00:03:00,203
(truck approaching)
49
00:03:03,443 --> 00:03:06,550
(truck door opens, closes)
50
00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:10,223
(footsteps crunching in gravel)
51
00:03:19,676 --> 00:03:21,179
You ever had pho?
52
00:03:21,279 --> 00:03:23,851
-Yes.
-Not like this, you haven't.
53
00:03:29,796 --> 00:03:31,198
(Sam exhales)
54
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,400
(door opens)
55
00:03:34,204 --> 00:03:36,743
(liquid pouring)
56
00:03:36,877 --> 00:03:40,885
(water runs, stops)
57
00:03:47,733 --> 00:03:49,335
I'm gonna get bowls.
58
00:03:49,401 --> 00:03:51,640
Sam, hold on a second.
59
00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:53,744
When you were gone,
60
00:03:53,844 --> 00:03:56,884
I heard someone
moving around upstairs,
61
00:03:56,984 --> 00:03:58,788
and I called up to them
62
00:03:58,921 --> 00:04:01,359
and asked them to come down.
63
00:04:01,426 --> 00:04:02,762
Did they come down?
64
00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:07,337
-So you met my mother.
-Yes.
65
00:04:07,437 --> 00:04:11,514
I was a little surprised.
Y-You said she was dead.
66
00:04:11,614 --> 00:04:14,520
Yeah, my parents aren't dead.
67
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:16,456
I-I lied about that, too.
68
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,861
Sorry.
69
00:04:20,765 --> 00:04:22,635
One of the reasons
that I didn't want
70
00:04:22,769 --> 00:04:24,540
to go into therapy
71
00:04:24,606 --> 00:04:26,442
was because I know it's all
72
00:04:26,543 --> 00:04:29,415
"mothers, mothers, mothers."
My mother is not my problem.
73
00:04:29,516 --> 00:04:31,853
Let me get the bowls.
74
00:04:31,953 --> 00:04:34,726
(footsteps ascending stairs)
75
00:04:34,826 --> 00:04:37,765
(exhales shakily)
76
00:04:47,785 --> 00:04:49,856
I'm going to
77
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,427
need you to take off this chain.
78
00:04:53,797 --> 00:04:56,202
There's no way to do
this work effectively
79
00:04:56,302 --> 00:04:57,805
with the therapist tied up.
80
00:04:57,939 --> 00:05:00,210
The chain's on your leg,
not on your mouth.
81
00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:03,417
Sam, I present
no physical threat to you.
82
00:05:03,483 --> 00:05:06,288
You're young and strong,
83
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:09,496
and I-I... I sit
in a chair all day.
84
00:05:09,629 --> 00:05:13,436
What do you imagine
would happen if I attacked you?
85
00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:16,910
(sighs)
86
00:05:17,010 --> 00:05:19,782
I... I pictured this
with you chained to the floor.
87
00:05:19,849 --> 00:05:22,454
I understand,
and I am asking you
88
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:24,057
to adjust that
89
00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:27,464
so I can help you
more effectively.
90
00:05:27,565 --> 00:05:32,274
Sam, there is no way that
this is going to work
91
00:05:32,341 --> 00:05:34,411
unless you take off this chain.
92
00:05:38,219 --> 00:05:40,423
She usually doesn't
come down here.
93
00:05:45,701 --> 00:05:47,705
-(grunting)
-(gurgling)
94
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,349
(sighs)
95
00:05:53,450 --> 00:05:57,257
Before, when we were
in my office...
96
00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,363
you told me that your mother
took care of you
97
00:06:00,463 --> 00:06:02,067
when your father
was being violent.
98
00:06:02,167 --> 00:06:03,603
"Mothers, mothers, mothers."
99
00:06:03,704 --> 00:06:06,943
It's just one part of things,
Sam, but we can't ignore it.
100
00:06:09,215 --> 00:06:12,387
Your mother told me
that he left.
101
00:06:13,356 --> 00:06:16,395
Can you tell me about that?
102
00:06:16,529 --> 00:06:17,899
He left us.
103
00:06:17,999 --> 00:06:19,969
How old were you?
104
00:06:21,706 --> 00:06:22,575
Fourteen.
105
00:06:23,376 --> 00:06:25,547
And what do you remember
about that?
106
00:06:28,787 --> 00:06:30,725
He left us.
107
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:33,296
So, he didn't hit me anymore.
108
00:06:33,396 --> 00:06:35,834
Did you see him after that?
109
00:06:39,408 --> 00:06:41,513
This is the house
you grew up in?
110
00:06:42,516 --> 00:06:45,053
(clears throat) Yup.
111
00:06:46,523 --> 00:06:50,597
Do you have memories,
um, like...
112
00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:55,507
Did he hurt you in this room?
113
00:06:57,044 --> 00:06:58,781
If I was in this room...
114
00:06:58,915 --> 00:07:01,586
-(bowl thuds)
-it was in this room.
115
00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,561
And you'd be here and...
116
00:07:05,661 --> 00:07:07,999
And he'd say something
117
00:07:08,099 --> 00:07:11,540
that I was supposed to do,
and if I didn't do it
118
00:07:11,607 --> 00:07:13,577
within one second...
119
00:07:14,545 --> 00:07:17,117
I didn't know what he meant
sometimes. I-- He was...
120
00:07:17,217 --> 00:07:19,689
(scoffs) I needed time to think,
121
00:07:19,789 --> 00:07:21,091
but...
122
00:07:22,896 --> 00:07:24,364
Like, one time,
123
00:07:24,464 --> 00:07:25,801
he got a whole load of grout
124
00:07:25,902 --> 00:07:28,473
for the kitchen
and the bathroom, and...
125
00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:30,811
he got a deal, right,
126
00:07:30,945 --> 00:07:34,485
so he ordered a ton of it,
and it came in these boxes.
127
00:07:34,586 --> 00:07:37,759
And he was yelling at me,
"Break 'em down."
128
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:40,631
Screaming. "Break 'em down."
129
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:43,303
I didn't know what he meant
130
00:07:43,403 --> 00:07:45,440
because I'd never
heard that before
131
00:07:45,541 --> 00:07:48,981
'cause he... he wasn't
pointing at the boxes.
132
00:07:49,081 --> 00:07:51,452
(inhales sharply, exhales)
133
00:07:51,553 --> 00:07:55,494
Then he just,
he just went at me,
134
00:07:55,594 --> 00:07:58,099
like he did.
135
00:08:03,175 --> 00:08:05,681
You said your mom got it, too.
136
00:08:06,216 --> 00:08:09,221
She's a good mother.
137
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:12,027
She made me sandwiches
every day.
138
00:08:12,127 --> 00:08:13,830
She did the laundry.
139
00:08:17,605 --> 00:08:21,145
It's a terrible situation
for a mother and a son.
140
00:08:28,995 --> 00:08:31,667
♪
141
00:08:31,767 --> 00:08:34,939
(Alan breathing deeply)
142
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,595
RABBI:
Everyone, please. Everyone, please.
143
00:08:45,695 --> 00:08:48,033
-(overlapping chatter)
-RABBI: People!
144
00:08:48,166 --> 00:08:51,072
People. People!
145
00:08:51,205 --> 00:08:52,942
I have something to say.
146
00:08:53,043 --> 00:08:57,050
People, people.
I have something to say.
147
00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:59,523
-(chatter quiets)
-RABBI: I understand that
148
00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,194
the mother of the chatan
has some
149
00:09:02,261 --> 00:09:03,964
words she'd like to share
150
00:09:04,064 --> 00:09:06,168
with the new couple.
151
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:13,048
(murmuring)
152
00:09:18,694 --> 00:09:20,732
We don't have women sing.
153
00:09:20,832 --> 00:09:23,737
Rabbi, it's my son's wedding.
154
00:09:33,289 --> 00:09:37,698
BETH:
Hi. I'm Ezra's mom.
155
00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:41,005
-(overlapping chatter)
-Where are you going?
156
00:09:41,105 --> 00:09:43,777
BETH: I'm also the cantor
at Temple Sinai.
157
00:09:43,910 --> 00:09:46,617
(murmuring continues)
158
00:09:46,717 --> 00:09:49,121
(Beth clears throat)
159
00:09:49,221 --> 00:09:51,693
(strums guitar)
160
00:09:55,032 --> 00:09:57,103
(sighs)
161
00:09:58,774 --> 00:10:00,944
(thunder rumbles)
162
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,764
Talk to me, Sam.
163
00:10:12,602 --> 00:10:14,471
I know you're struggling
with your feelings
164
00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:16,743
about the manager
at the restaurant.
165
00:10:18,647 --> 00:10:22,020
Is there anything else
you can tell me about it?
166
00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:24,124
(thunder rumbling)
167
00:10:25,628 --> 00:10:26,797
Uh...
168
00:10:26,897 --> 00:10:28,967
You should help me.
169
00:10:39,054 --> 00:10:41,793
Hmm...
170
00:10:45,768 --> 00:10:47,772
I have a thought for us.
171
00:10:47,838 --> 00:10:50,510
-Mm-hmm.
-You know,
172
00:10:50,611 --> 00:10:53,517
your mother
is an impressive woman,
173
00:10:53,617 --> 00:10:56,188
and she would clearly
do anything
174
00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:58,125
to help you feel better,
175
00:10:58,192 --> 00:11:00,765
help you live the life
that you want to live,
176
00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:03,837
and I think that
she can help us now.
177
00:11:04,806 --> 00:11:08,146
We are all part
of family systems.
178
00:11:08,213 --> 00:11:10,216
You, me, everyone.
179
00:11:10,349 --> 00:11:13,122
Changes to those systems
180
00:11:13,189 --> 00:11:15,026
can have a profound effect
on us,
181
00:11:15,126 --> 00:11:17,698
even at your age.
182
00:11:17,799 --> 00:11:18,968
And I was thinking
183
00:11:19,034 --> 00:11:21,572
that it might be beneficial
184
00:11:21,673 --> 00:11:24,311
if we were to do
some family therapy work
185
00:11:24,411 --> 00:11:25,847
with you and your mother.
186
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:29,956
Mm.
187
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:31,826
She's been through enough.
188
00:11:33,864 --> 00:11:36,804
She doesn't need to be dragged
into what we're doing here.
189
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:38,607
I think that's kind of you,
190
00:11:38,707 --> 00:11:40,945
and I can see why
you'd want to protect her.
191
00:11:41,045 --> 00:11:42,280
But I don't think you need
192
00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:45,687
to worry about her feeling
dragged into this.
193
00:11:45,787 --> 00:11:49,127
I think she might
find it helpful, too.
194
00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:53,068
Sam.
195
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,411
You don't have to take
this next step alone.
196
00:11:57,512 --> 00:12:01,987
There is someone
who wants to be there with you.
197
00:12:02,087 --> 00:12:06,228
She doesn't want you struggling
with this by yourself.
198
00:12:18,252 --> 00:12:20,222
(birds chirping)
199
00:12:30,243 --> 00:12:33,249
He was always
a very physical man,
200
00:12:33,382 --> 00:12:37,224
and it was always
a very intense relationship.
201
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:40,731
-I think Sam and I...
-SAM: He was an asshole.
202
00:12:40,831 --> 00:12:42,735
It's pretty simple.
203
00:12:42,869 --> 00:12:45,907
He was a terrible father,
and Sam and I...
204
00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:47,511
Worse than terrible.
205
00:12:47,612 --> 00:12:49,916
Let's try to slow down
a little bit.
206
00:12:50,049 --> 00:12:53,924
In this space, let everybody
finish what they're saying.
207
00:12:54,058 --> 00:12:56,863
When we go more slowly,
208
00:12:56,930 --> 00:13:00,102
usually, everyone thinks
a little more clearly,
209
00:13:00,202 --> 00:13:03,009
and sometimes, when we wait,
210
00:13:03,109 --> 00:13:06,281
people don't say what we think
they are going to.
211
00:13:09,254 --> 00:13:13,195
Sam and I took refuge
in each other.
212
00:13:13,262 --> 00:13:16,102
I learned that from one
of the books I read.
213
00:13:16,235 --> 00:13:18,072
Not yours.
214
00:13:18,139 --> 00:13:19,942
Hmm.
215
00:13:21,312 --> 00:13:23,415
That it was a refuge.
216
00:13:23,482 --> 00:13:25,119
You were in this together.
217
00:13:25,253 --> 00:13:27,324
Mm-hmm.
218
00:13:27,424 --> 00:13:29,428
ALAN:
You still are.
219
00:13:29,496 --> 00:13:33,903
You are bonded to each other.
220
00:13:33,970 --> 00:13:36,141
It's very moving.
221
00:13:38,379 --> 00:13:41,085
-Sam.
-Yup.
222
00:13:41,151 --> 00:13:43,389
You love your mother,
223
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,929
and I think that can give us
a way to help you.
224
00:13:48,934 --> 00:13:51,405
I want you to think
in a new way of how
225
00:13:51,471 --> 00:13:54,512
you can protect your mother.
226
00:13:54,612 --> 00:13:58,318
As you struggle
with this impulse
227
00:13:58,419 --> 00:14:01,593
to become violent,
228
00:14:01,693 --> 00:14:03,731
I want you
to protect your mother
229
00:14:03,831 --> 00:14:06,468
by not acting on that impulse.
230
00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:11,178
So that she can be free
from this source of pain.
231
00:14:11,278 --> 00:14:13,349
So...
232
00:14:13,449 --> 00:14:15,420
you think to yourself,
233
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,159
"I will not do this,
234
00:14:18,259 --> 00:14:20,964
so that I can
protect my mother."
235
00:14:26,910 --> 00:14:28,479
(sniffles)
236
00:14:40,103 --> 00:14:42,340
(Alan clears throat)
237
00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:51,492
Will you do that for me, Sam?
238
00:15:06,389 --> 00:15:08,359
(truck approaching)
239
00:15:08,426 --> 00:15:10,396
(sighs) Okay.
240
00:15:12,334 --> 00:15:14,304
(chains jingling)
241
00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:18,981
(truck door opens, closes)
242
00:15:19,081 --> 00:15:21,719
-(metallic creak)
-(footsteps approaching)
243
00:15:27,431 --> 00:15:29,067
(door slides closed)
244
00:15:30,036 --> 00:15:32,406
(Sam sighs)
245
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,425
SAM:
Pastitsio.
246
00:16:01,465 --> 00:16:03,402
That guy at the--
247
00:16:03,503 --> 00:16:06,074
this restaurant
where I did the inspection.
248
00:16:07,578 --> 00:16:09,582
I went back there tonight.
249
00:16:22,942 --> 00:16:24,078
Mmm.
250
00:16:24,144 --> 00:16:26,949
I figured I'd be okay,
251
00:16:27,049 --> 00:16:28,118
maybe,
252
00:16:28,218 --> 00:16:30,624
you know, with you here.
253
00:16:30,691 --> 00:16:33,295
I was just looking at him.
254
00:16:35,466 --> 00:16:37,070
How did that feel?
255
00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:39,308
I got my food.
256
00:16:39,408 --> 00:16:40,944
There he was.
257
00:16:41,044 --> 00:16:44,619
Mm, I sat in my car
across the street,
258
00:16:44,686 --> 00:16:47,490
and I did the whole thing
259
00:16:47,625 --> 00:16:51,431
in my head, every second.
260
00:16:53,169 --> 00:16:55,306
You said with me here.
261
00:16:55,406 --> 00:16:57,511
Was this a test for yourself?
262
00:16:59,014 --> 00:17:00,182
Yeah, I guess so.
263
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:04,457
Seems like you did well.
264
00:17:06,328 --> 00:17:09,467
I-I want to show him...
265
00:17:10,504 --> 00:17:13,810
I-I want to teach him
how to behave
266
00:17:13,877 --> 00:17:16,348
to other people
in the world. I...
267
00:17:17,551 --> 00:17:19,454
I still want to do it.
268
00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:27,638
(mutters): Okay.
269
00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:34,217
Mmm. Mmm.
270
00:17:35,386 --> 00:17:36,221
Thanks.
271
00:17:38,693 --> 00:17:42,166
Was it like that
with the other ones who you...
272
00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,208
Did they do something
273
00:17:46,308 --> 00:17:49,314
that made you want
to teach them a lesson?
274
00:17:49,381 --> 00:17:52,053
Yes.
275
00:17:52,153 --> 00:17:54,726
They were all-- I...
276
00:17:54,826 --> 00:17:56,696
Every one of them deserved it.
277
00:18:06,181 --> 00:18:07,952
(birds chirping)
278
00:18:08,052 --> 00:18:10,422
♪
279
00:18:26,623 --> 00:18:29,193
(creaking overhead)
280
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:35,406
Candace?
281
00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:37,711
(footsteps)
282
00:18:42,353 --> 00:18:45,392
Candace, we need to talk.
283
00:18:59,488 --> 00:19:01,692
♪
284
00:19:12,247 --> 00:19:14,719
(guitar playing)
285
00:19:14,819 --> 00:19:18,091
(Beth singing in Hebrew)
286
00:19:18,192 --> 00:19:19,762
(others murmuring)
287
00:19:19,862 --> 00:19:22,233
(continues singing in Hebrew)
288
00:19:28,145 --> 00:19:30,884
(Beth continues singing
in Hebrew)
289
00:19:41,137 --> 00:19:44,243
(continues singing in Hebrew)
290
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:52,761
♪
291
00:20:03,148 --> 00:20:05,486
(Beth continues singing
in Hebrew)
292
00:20:21,084 --> 00:20:23,556
(Beth continues singing
in Hebrew)
293
00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:26,061
(song ends)
294
00:20:26,128 --> 00:20:27,798
(sighs)
295
00:20:36,716 --> 00:20:38,719
(truck approaching)
296
00:20:41,826 --> 00:20:44,197
(truck door opens, closes)
297
00:20:44,297 --> 00:20:46,301
(thudding overhead)
298
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,693
(grunting)
299
00:21:03,168 --> 00:21:04,672
-(gasps)
-(chains jingling)
300
00:21:04,772 --> 00:21:06,776
(grunting)
301
00:21:06,876 --> 00:21:09,380
MAN:
No. No. No. No.
302
00:21:09,481 --> 00:21:11,685
Stop. (whimpering)
303
00:21:16,161 --> 00:21:18,566
(duct tape stretching, ripping)
304
00:21:26,715 --> 00:21:28,719
(keys jingle)
305
00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:41,478
(door opens, slams closed)
306
00:21:41,579 --> 00:21:43,749
♪
307
00:23:29,962 --> 00:23:32,132
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
308
00:23:32,182 --> 00:23:36,732
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
20359
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