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1
00:00:02,060 --> 00:00:05,090
(audience applauds)
2
00:00:06,230 --> 00:00:08,200
- Welcome to our show we're
very happy you're here
3
00:00:08,250 --> 00:00:09,980
and could we turn up the lights
4
00:00:10,030 --> 00:00:12,120
so we can talk to the audience
before the show starts?
5
00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:15,110
Hello, are there any questions
anybody would like to ask?
6
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:16,160
Yes sir?
7
00:00:16,210 --> 00:00:17,210
- [Man] Did you
ever wear braces?
8
00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:19,060
- Did I ever wear braces.
9
00:00:19,110 --> 00:00:22,030
(audience laughs)
10
00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:26,190
They didn't work, yes I did.
11
00:00:28,030 --> 00:00:29,020
Yes I did.
12
00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:31,010
One time I wore a retainer
13
00:00:31,060 --> 00:00:34,140
when I was 25 years
old, two years ago.
14
00:00:34,190 --> 00:00:36,010
(audience laughs)
15
00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:37,150
I wore one of those things
16
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,100
they put up on the
roof of your mouth
17
00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:41,160
and then they put
the rubber band
18
00:00:41,210 --> 00:00:43,090
on it, you know you've had that
19
00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:45,050
and then like the first two days
20
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:46,990
it's so sore you
put a glass up there
21
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,010
and it, (gasps) and
you just want to die
22
00:00:49,060 --> 00:00:52,170
because it hurts so, and
it worked a little bit
23
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:56,040
because my lower teeth
used to be up here.
24
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:59,010
(audience laughs)
25
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,090
We've gotten a lot of letters
26
00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:05,090
about the little girl
who plays my kid sister
27
00:01:05,140 --> 00:01:06,980
on the show, Vicki Lawrence,
28
00:01:07,030 --> 00:01:09,040
and I'd like to call her out
here and let you all meet her
29
00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:11,020
'cause we haven't had the
chance really to talk to her.
30
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,100
Vicki come on.
31
00:01:12,150 --> 00:01:15,120
(audience applauds)
32
00:01:22,020 --> 00:01:23,030
She's a little nervous
33
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:24,220
because she's never
had to come out,
34
00:01:24,270 --> 00:01:26,160
and she didn't know what
she's gonna say or anything.
35
00:01:30,030 --> 00:01:31,140
Your hands are ice cold.
36
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:34,150
Do you have any questions
you'd like to ask Vicki?
37
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,000
- Oh no.
- There's a little boy there.
38
00:01:36,050 --> 00:01:37,100
- [Guest] how old are you?
39
00:01:37,150 --> 00:01:38,060
- I don't know.
40
00:01:38,110 --> 00:01:41,010
(audience laughs)
41
00:01:42,050 --> 00:01:45,000
(audience applauds)
42
00:01:46,130 --> 00:01:49,020
(upbeat music)
43
00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:11,100
(upbeat music)
(audience applauds)
44
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,970
(wind blowing)
45
00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:20,160
(thunder claps)
46
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,140
(phone rings)
47
00:02:35,180 --> 00:02:40,040
- Hello, Dr.Jekyll's
residence, Mrs.Jekyll speaking.
48
00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:43,000
Oh Sibyl dear.
49
00:02:43,050 --> 00:02:44,990
The country club dance?
50
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,100
No I'm afraid not.
51
00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:47,200
You see the good doctor
52
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:50,000
has been working
dreadfully hard lately.
53
00:02:50,050 --> 00:02:54,100
He's experimenting in
field of medicine.
54
00:02:54,150 --> 00:02:55,960
Acid indigestion.
55
00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:57,040
(audience laughs)
56
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:59,120
Yes he's just a burp
away from a breakthrough.
57
00:02:59,170 --> 00:03:01,180
(audience laughs)
58
00:03:01,230 --> 00:03:03,020
Oh, there's Henry now.
59
00:03:03,070 --> 00:03:05,100
I'll have to ring
off Sibyl, cheers.
60
00:03:08,210 --> 00:03:10,140
Darling, you're home.
61
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:15,140
- Oh Cynthia, it's been
an excruciating day.
62
00:03:16,060 --> 00:03:18,120
Operations, emergencies.
63
00:03:18,170 --> 00:03:20,980
- Oh you poor dedicated darling.
64
00:03:21,030 --> 00:03:24,080
Well now you can relax in
the bosom of your family
65
00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:26,120
such as there is.
66
00:03:26,170 --> 00:03:29,950
(audience laughs)
67
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,190
Mommy has a marvelous
evening planned
68
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,180
for just the two of us (laughs).
69
00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:38,960
I thought that
perhaps after dinner
70
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,980
you and I could go upstairs
71
00:03:41,030 --> 00:03:43,120
and mommy could turn
down the lights,
72
00:03:43,170 --> 00:03:45,080
and turn on the Victrola
73
00:03:45,130 --> 00:03:49,080
and perhaps you could
take my blood pressure.
74
00:03:49,130 --> 00:03:50,160
(audience laughs)
75
00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:53,070
- Really my sweet, you
look so fetching tonight
76
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,080
I might give you a
complete checkup.
77
00:03:55,130 --> 00:03:58,020
(Cynthia shrieks)
78
00:03:59,090 --> 00:04:01,170
Just to relax me
though first I think
79
00:04:01,220 --> 00:04:03,980
I'll have a little drink.
80
00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:05,040
- A drink?
81
00:04:05,090 --> 00:04:07,130
(dramatic music)
82
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,090
Oh no, Henry please.
83
00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:11,980
Let me make you a
nice hot cup of tea.
84
00:04:12,030 --> 00:04:13,190
- Just a short one, dear.
85
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,170
There's no harm in that.
86
00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:18,220
- Please don't do that, you
know what drinking does to you.
87
00:04:18,270 --> 00:04:22,020
- Nonsense my darling
I'm the doctor (laughs).
88
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,100
To us my beloved
89
00:04:24,150 --> 00:04:27,210
and may we enjoy better
things through chemistry.
90
00:04:27,260 --> 00:04:29,110
(audience laughs)
91
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,040
- No, Henry I beg of you please.
92
00:04:33,050 --> 00:04:35,970
(Henry gasps)
93
00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:37,160
- That hit the spot.
94
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,000
(audience laughs)
95
00:04:39,050 --> 00:04:40,110
(Henry grunts)
96
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:44,060
- I knew it, I just knew it,
I knew it, I just knew it.
97
00:04:44,110 --> 00:04:47,950
Oh Henry, look at you down
there rolling all over the floor
98
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,090
in your new suit.
99
00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:50,140
(Henry howls)
100
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,960
Oh, Henry stop all that howling.
101
00:04:53,010 --> 00:04:54,180
What if one of your
colleagues should hear you?
102
00:04:54,230 --> 00:04:56,170
There won't be a
doctor left in town
103
00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:58,080
willing to split a fee with you.
104
00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:04,000
Oh Henry, how could
you do this to me?
105
00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:05,980
(Henry growls)
106
00:05:06,030 --> 00:05:07,150
Sorry is not enough.
107
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,950
(audience laughs)
108
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,170
No Henry no, don't!
109
00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:12,200
Oh all right, Henry.
110
00:05:12,250 --> 00:05:13,970
I know you want your din din.
111
00:05:14,020 --> 00:05:16,230
Come along, come along,
heel Henry, heel heel.
112
00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:19,090
(audience laughs)
113
00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:21,010
Good Henry, sit down, that's it.
114
00:05:21,060 --> 00:05:21,960
Henry quit!
115
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,190
You're drooling
all over the house.
116
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,230
Henry quit wolfing your
food down like that
117
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:28,210
you'll be up all night
howling with heartburn.
118
00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:30,080
(Henry howls)
119
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:33,090
(Henry burps)
120
00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:35,230
No please, don't go
out again tonight.
121
00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:36,180
(glass shatters)
122
00:05:36,230 --> 00:05:37,230
No Henry!
123
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:39,040
No, oh Henry!
124
00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:43,110
(thunder claps)
125
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,180
At least you could've shaved.
126
00:05:45,230 --> 00:05:47,000
(audience laughs)
127
00:05:47,050 --> 00:05:49,210
Oh, I don't know what to do.
128
00:05:49,260 --> 00:05:51,160
Where have I failed?
129
00:05:51,210 --> 00:05:53,140
Where did I go wrong?
130
00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:56,010
Oh I don't know whether to
see a marriage counselor
131
00:05:56,060 --> 00:05:57,130
or a veterinarian.
132
00:05:57,180 --> 00:06:00,130
(audience laughs)
(knocking)
133
00:06:00,180 --> 00:06:01,120
That's the door.
134
00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:04,210
(knocking)
135
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:05,160
Come in.
136
00:06:07,090 --> 00:06:11,170
It's Cecil Frobisher.
137
00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:13,000
Why Cecil--
138
00:06:13,050 --> 00:06:14,140
- How lovely you
look, my darling.
139
00:06:14,190 --> 00:06:16,230
- Thank you I haven't seen
you since you graduated
140
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:18,000
from dental school.
141
00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:18,950
- I know.
142
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,800
- Where have you been?
- I've been in Africa
143
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,030
practicing dentistry
amongst the cannibals.
144
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:23,990
- Oh, any luck?
145
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,210
- Well I didn't get them
to give up cannibalism
146
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,180
but they are brushing
after every meal.
147
00:06:27,230 --> 00:06:28,980
(audience laughs)
148
00:06:29,030 --> 00:06:30,020
- Good show.
149
00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:31,950
- I've never forgotten
you, Cynthia.
150
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,160
- Oh, you mean
you've never married?
151
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:34,970
- Well no, no, no.
152
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,200
As a matter of fact I rather
enjoy being Cecil Frobisher
153
00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:38,010
the playboy dentist.
154
00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:39,200
Oh my darling--
155
00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:41,000
- Oh no Cecil, no.
156
00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:42,000
- Please?
157
00:06:42,050 --> 00:06:42,950
All right where is he?
158
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,970
Where's your husband?
Where is the good Dr. Jekyll?
159
00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:46,200
- The doctor?
- Yes.
160
00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:47,970
- You mean Henry?
- Yes.
161
00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:50,040
- Oh, well he wasn't
himself tonight
162
00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:52,180
so he retired into
his laboratory.
163
00:06:52,230 --> 00:06:54,050
- Oh really, Cynthia?
164
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,000
Are you sure?
165
00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:56,150
- What do you mean?
166
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,980
- I mean when I drove up here
something jumped out of the
167
00:06:58,030 --> 00:06:59,050
bushes and started
chasing my carriage
168
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,190
and snapping at my wheels.
169
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,120
- Snapping?
- Yes.
170
00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:05,950
(audience laughs)
171
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,960
It looked very much
like your hairy Henry.
172
00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:10,030
(audience laughs)
173
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,060
- I don't know what
you're talking about.
174
00:07:11,110 --> 00:07:13,990
- Oh stop it you little fool.
175
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,090
Your secret is out,
everyone at the club knows
176
00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:17,170
about your husband.
177
00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:19,110
- All right, all right, Cecil.
178
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,230
The truth will out.
179
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,120
I am married to a
part-time beast.
180
00:07:23,170 --> 00:07:24,100
(audience laughs)
181
00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:25,220
- I knew it, I was right!
182
00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:26,950
- Oh I've tried
everything, Cecil
183
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,180
but you know how he gets
when he starts drinking,
184
00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:30,220
and I can't even get him
185
00:07:30,270 --> 00:07:32,030
to go to obedience school.
186
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:33,030
(audience laughs)
187
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,030
Oh what can I do, Cecil?
188
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,050
What can I do?
189
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:37,990
- I'll tell you what you can do.
190
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,000
You can leave this house of
evil and come away with me.
191
00:07:41,050 --> 00:07:42,160
- Cecil, what are you saying?
192
00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:44,950
- I love you, I've
always loved you.
193
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,120
Marry me, marry me Cynthia.
194
00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:47,180
I'll give you everything.
195
00:07:47,230 --> 00:07:50,030
Furs, diamonds, I'll
even cure your overbite.
196
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,010
(audience laughs)
197
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,220
- You mean leave Henry?
198
00:07:56,270 --> 00:07:58,990
No, no I can't, oh.
199
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,970
(audience laughs)
200
00:08:01,020 --> 00:08:03,180
I can't, he loves
me, he needs me.
201
00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:05,990
(Henry howls)
202
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,000
Oh yes, Henry.
203
00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:08,230
mommy hears you,
mommy hears you.
204
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,950
- Did you say mommy?
- Yes.
205
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,190
- Oh, Cynthia this is so sick.
206
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,220
- It's not so sick, Cecil!
207
00:08:14,270 --> 00:08:17,190
(audience laughs)
208
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,960
- Please, darling come with
me before it's too late.
209
00:08:20,010 --> 00:08:21,180
- No I'm a doctor's wife
for better or for worse.
210
00:08:21,230 --> 00:08:23,230
- All right, if you're
sure he's what you want.
211
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:24,230
- I'm sure, I'm sure.
212
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,010
- Goodbye my darling.
- Yes.
213
00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:27,050
- But remember two things.
- What?
214
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:28,030
- I'll always love you.
- And?
215
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,110
- Vote against fluoridation.
216
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,030
(audience laughs)
217
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,060
(Henry howling)
218
00:08:34,110 --> 00:08:36,020
- All right, Henry all right.
219
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,070
Well if you can't
lick them, join them.
220
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:49,070
(Cynthia gags)
221
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,130
- Ooh that hit the spot.
222
00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:52,070
(audience laughs)
223
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:55,070
(Cynthia shrieking)
224
00:08:57,090 --> 00:09:00,000
(audience applauds)
225
00:09:00,050 --> 00:09:02,170
(upbeat music)
226
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,010
(gentle music)
227
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:20,120
? I look at you and suddenly ?
228
00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:26,220
? something in your eyes I see ?
229
00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:32,040
? soon begins bewitching me ?
230
00:09:35,220 --> 00:09:40,060
? The look of love
is in your eyes ?
231
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:51,100
? A look your smile
can't disguise ?
232
00:09:55,210 --> 00:10:00,210
? The look of love ?
233
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:06,200
? is saying so much more than
just words can ever say ?
234
00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:16,170
? and what my heart has heard
well it takes my breath away ?
235
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:22,140
? Oh I can hardly
wait to hold you ?
236
00:10:22,190 --> 00:10:26,000
? feel my arms around you ?
237
00:10:26,050 --> 00:10:29,020
? How long I have waited ?
238
00:10:29,070 --> 00:10:31,090
? waited just to love you ?
239
00:10:31,140 --> 00:10:35,140
? now that I have found you ?
240
00:10:35,190 --> 00:10:40,130
? You've got the look of love ?
241
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:46,130
? it's on your face ?
242
00:10:46,180 --> 00:10:50,150
? A look that time can't erase ?
243
00:10:57,110 --> 00:11:02,100
? Be mine tonight ?
244
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:08,000
? Let this be just the start
of so many nights like this ?
245
00:11:12,220 --> 00:11:17,220
? Let's take a lovers vow and
then seal it with a kiss ?
246
00:11:20,150 --> 00:11:23,160
? Oh I can hardly
wait to hold you ?
247
00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:27,030
? feel my arms around you ?
248
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:30,030
? How long I have waited ?
249
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:35,080
? Waited just to love you,
now that I have found you ?
250
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:41,100
? Don't ever go ?
251
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:46,060
? I love you so ?
252
00:11:46,110 --> 00:11:51,070
? That old devil look
so deep in your eyes ?
253
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,220
? Won't let me go ?
254
00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:07,070
(audience applauds)
255
00:12:16,230 --> 00:12:18,130
(upbeat music)
256
00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:20,950
- [Announcer] Good evening,
this is Harry Reasonable
257
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,150
in the gallery of the New York
County Criminal Courthouse.
258
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,100
In a few moments we will be
bringing you this live telecast
259
00:12:26,150 --> 00:12:28,040
of the murder trial
of the century.
260
00:12:28,090 --> 00:12:29,190
The cast of characters
in this trial
261
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,150
is as dramatic as
the crime itself.
262
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,160
The defendant is the
handsome, debonair,
263
00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:35,170
man about town, Rodney Harrison.
264
00:12:36,220 --> 00:12:38,070
Mr. Harrison's defense attorney
265
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,080
is the well known,
successful criminal lawyer,
266
00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:43,130
the eminent trial
practitioner, Clarence Sparrow.
267
00:12:45,070 --> 00:12:46,150
The prosecutor is the brilliant
268
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,100
female assistant
district attorney
269
00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:50,950
for New York County,
Harriet Hangem.
270
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,090
(audience laughs)
271
00:12:52,140 --> 00:12:54,980
I believe, yes, yes
we are about to start.
272
00:12:55,030 --> 00:12:56,210
Down to the courthouse floor.
273
00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:58,140
- Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye!
274
00:12:58,190 --> 00:13:00,110
This court is now in session.
275
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,010
The Honorable Tondalao
Milmon presiding.
276
00:13:03,060 --> 00:13:04,100
All please rise.
277
00:13:06,170 --> 00:13:09,120
(audience laughs)
278
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:21,070
- All pleas sit.
279
00:13:22,110 --> 00:13:25,120
(audience laughs)
280
00:13:29,210 --> 00:13:32,060
You forget one more
time and you are fired,
281
00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:33,190
nephew or no nephew.
282
00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:36,130
(gavel bangs)
283
00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:38,030
This court is now in session.
284
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,070
- Your Honor, the people
of the State of New York
285
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,980
versus Rodney Harrison.
286
00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:44,170
- Pretty rotten odds.
287
00:13:44,220 --> 00:13:47,130
- Yes, the state will
prove that on the night
288
00:13:47,180 --> 00:13:49,990
of July 10th, the
defendant did indeed,
289
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:54,050
and in fact intentionally and
with malice of forethought--
290
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,010
- Talk plain, talk plain!
291
00:13:56,060 --> 00:13:57,220
- Brutally strangle.
292
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,000
- That's pretty plain.
293
00:13:59,050 --> 00:14:01,050
- His wife, his mother-in-law,
294
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:03,050
and an Avon lady who barged in
295
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:05,100
without so much as a ding dong.
296
00:14:05,150 --> 00:14:07,090
(audience laughs)
297
00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:09,180
(gavel bangs)
298
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,160
- Is the prosecutor ready
with her opening remarks?
299
00:14:13,210 --> 00:14:14,230
- I am, Your Honor.
300
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,180
- Proceed.
301
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:18,230
- Your Honor, ladies and
gentlemen of the jury,
302
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:22,100
the state will prove that
beyond a shadow of a doubt
303
00:14:22,150 --> 00:14:26,110
that Rodney Harrison is
guilty of this terrible crime.
304
00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:29,090
And when I am finished
with this case
305
00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:31,210
I am certain that the
members of the jury
306
00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:34,960
will not only find you guilty,
307
00:14:35,010 --> 00:14:37,150
but will send you to
the electric chair.
308
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:40,980
(audience laughs)
309
00:14:41,030 --> 00:14:42,190
And if not you the defendant.
310
00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:46,980
- Terrific.
- Thank you.
311
00:14:47,030 --> 00:14:48,000
- Now for the defense.
312
00:14:48,050 --> 00:14:49,190
Are you ready Mr. Sparrow?
313
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,120
Mr. Sparrow?
314
00:14:53,070 --> 00:14:54,170
Clarence Sparrow!
315
00:14:54,220 --> 00:14:55,150
(gavel bangs)
316
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,180
- What, what?
317
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,170
What?
318
00:14:58,220 --> 00:14:59,220
- [Judge] Your opening remarks.
319
00:14:59,270 --> 00:15:00,220
- My what?
320
00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:04,000
(audience laughs)
321
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,220
(gavel bangs)
322
00:15:26,010 --> 00:15:29,010
(audience applauds)
323
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:38,170
- The court would like to
hear your opening statement.
324
00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:41,160
- Your Honor!
325
00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:44,110
(audience laughs)
326
00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:50,040
Your Honor!
- Yes.
327
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:55,220
- Ladies and gentlemen of the
jury, distinguished counsel,
328
00:15:59,220 --> 00:16:04,220
I have no opening statement.
329
00:16:05,140 --> 00:16:08,030
(audience laughs)
330
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:09,220
- I've heard of
the defense resting
331
00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:11,050
but this is ridiculous.
332
00:16:13,010 --> 00:16:14,210
Prosecutor, call
your first witness.
333
00:16:14,260 --> 00:16:16,080
- Your Honor.
334
00:16:16,130 --> 00:16:17,090
(Clarence snoring)
335
00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:17,990
- Proceed.
336
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:19,830
(gavel bangs)
- What?
337
00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:21,070
- Get out of here you old fool.
338
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:28,140
- Hey, sonny boy would you
wanna set me back to my chair?
339
00:16:31,230 --> 00:16:33,010
Whee!
340
00:16:34,230 --> 00:16:36,220
- Your Honor, as
my first witness
341
00:16:36,270 --> 00:16:38,970
and with the agreement
of the defense counsel,
342
00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:41,100
that old fool rolling
around over there,
343
00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:47,010
I call to the stand
Rodney Harrison.
344
00:16:47,210 --> 00:16:49,140
- Rodney Harrison to the stand!
345
00:16:49,190 --> 00:16:50,230
- Will you please shut up.
346
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,200
(gasps)
347
00:16:57,230 --> 00:17:00,190
Oh boy, oh boy, oh
boy, oh boy, oh boy.
348
00:17:03,110 --> 00:17:05,220
(laughs) Yeah, yeah, yeah.
349
00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:10,100
Ooh more (yells).
350
00:17:13,010 --> 00:17:16,010
(audience applauds)
351
00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:23,030
- Raise your right hand.
352
00:17:25,150 --> 00:17:28,040
(audience laughs)
353
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:30,060
(horn honking)
354
00:17:30,110 --> 00:17:31,120
- Oh, oh!
355
00:17:31,170 --> 00:17:34,000
(horn honking)
356
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,060
- [Bailiff] Do
you solemnly swear
357
00:17:36,110 --> 00:17:37,050
to tell the truth,
the whole truth,
358
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,830
and nothing but the truth?
- I do.
359
00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:40,150
- By the power vested in me
360
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,180
I now pronounce us man and wife.
361
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,970
- I object!
362
00:17:47,020 --> 00:17:49,000
- If he doesn't
object why should you?
363
00:17:50,130 --> 00:17:51,170
- Mr. Harrison.
364
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:52,120
- Yes?
365
00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:57,120
- Oh my gracious, oh!
366
00:17:57,170 --> 00:17:58,120
It's exciting.
367
00:17:58,170 --> 00:17:59,230
- Mr. Harrison.
368
00:18:01,050 --> 00:18:04,000
(audience laughs)
369
00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:12,080
Did you murder your wife?
370
00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:13,100
- No (laughs).
371
00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:14,140
- Would you like a recess?
372
00:18:14,190 --> 00:18:15,220
We could play in the yard.
373
00:18:15,270 --> 00:18:17,130
(audience laughs)
374
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,180
- I object!
375
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:19,220
- You play in the yard.
376
00:18:21,020 --> 00:18:22,020
- Your Honor, I object!
377
00:18:24,010 --> 00:18:25,070
- To what?
378
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:27,080
- The defendant wants to teach
379
00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:31,210
that man was descended from
the monkeys he has every right!
380
00:18:31,260 --> 00:18:34,950
(audience laughs)
381
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,130
- Oh, hush up you old fool.
382
00:18:38,060 --> 00:18:40,230
- Sustained, go on prosecutor.
383
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:45,230
- Mr. Harrison where were you
on the night of July 10th?
384
00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:48,970
- Nevermind that.
385
00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:51,190
Where are you gonna be on
the night of October 23rd?
386
00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:54,130
- Home.
387
00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:55,970
- I'll be there,
388
00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:59,090
and it is my duty to warn you
that no matter what you say
389
00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:01,130
I may be held against you.
390
00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:04,110
- I object!
391
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,210
- Oh boy are you objectionable.
392
00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:09,070
- The court obviously
favors the defendant.
393
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:10,980
- I plead temporary insanity.
394
00:19:11,030 --> 00:19:12,140
I'm crazy about him.
395
00:19:12,190 --> 00:19:14,030
(audience laughs)
396
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,070
- I object, Your Honor!
397
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,220
- And stop talking
about my honor.
398
00:19:20,190 --> 00:19:21,980
(gavel bangs)
399
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,170
You could really
louse things up.
400
00:19:23,220 --> 00:19:24,220
Now, will you proceed?
401
00:19:24,270 --> 00:19:28,210
- Quiet, I can't sleep
with all this noise!
402
00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:33,160
- Oh, will you hush
up you old fool.
403
00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:36,040
(audience laughs)
404
00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:37,980
- In the interest of justice
405
00:19:38,030 --> 00:19:40,000
I have decided to
handle the defense
406
00:19:40,050 --> 00:19:41,120
of this innocent.
407
00:19:51,230 --> 00:19:53,230
I have decide to
handle the defense
408
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,230
of this innocent man myself.
409
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,040
- He's not innocent.
410
00:19:57,090 --> 00:19:58,110
- Neither am I.
411
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:00,970
(audience laughs)
412
00:20:01,020 --> 00:20:03,970
Rodney, sweetheart,
tell the court
413
00:20:04,020 --> 00:20:06,210
just exactly what
happened on the night
414
00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:09,010
that you did not
murder your wife.
415
00:20:10,090 --> 00:20:12,090
- Well, I was driving
home late that night
416
00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:14,160
and as I approached my driveway
417
00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:17,000
I saw a one armed man
run out of my house.
418
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,220
(audience laughs)
419
00:20:18,270 --> 00:20:20,090
- What was he wearing?
420
00:20:20,140 --> 00:20:21,180
- A sleeveless sweater.
421
00:20:21,230 --> 00:20:24,180
(Judge laughs)
422
00:20:24,230 --> 00:20:26,170
(gavel bangs)
423
00:20:26,220 --> 00:20:28,150
- You are adorable.
424
00:20:29,230 --> 00:20:30,230
Oh, you're too much.
425
00:20:32,060 --> 00:20:35,020
Ladies and gentlemen of
the jury, now I ask you,
426
00:20:35,070 --> 00:20:38,020
are these the shoulders
of a murderer?
427
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,110
- I object!
428
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:40,210
- There goes big mouth again.
429
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:44,980
- Very well, then I will
take my plea to the jury.
430
00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:46,200
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury
431
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:48,110
I throw myself on your.
432
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,110
(audience laughs)
433
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,020
- And I throw this
case out of court
434
00:20:54,070 --> 00:20:55,990
because of lack of evidence
435
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,100
and I direct that the defendant
436
00:20:58,150 --> 00:21:00,980
be confined to my
chambers for 30 days.
437
00:21:01,030 --> 00:21:03,010
- And I say he
should get the chair!
438
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:07,000
- I'm the judge and I
say he gets the sofa.
439
00:21:07,050 --> 00:21:08,140
(audience laughs)
440
00:21:08,190 --> 00:21:11,010
(upbeat music)
441
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,110
(upbeat music)
442
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,190
- [Announcer] Dr. Jekyll
and the court room bailiff
443
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,000
were played by
William Schallert.
30272
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