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1
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- Before we get started,
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00:00:05,010 --> 00:00:08,030
could we turn up the lights
so we can talk to the people?
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00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:10,220
Are there any questions
you'd like to ask about the--
4
00:00:10,270 --> 00:00:13,140
- [Man] Did you enjoy
being TV's new sex symbol?
5
00:00:14,230 --> 00:00:16,000
- Oh!
6
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:18,120
Oh!
7
00:00:18,170 --> 00:00:19,950
Did you hear him?
8
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,230
How did I enjoy being
TV's new sex symbol?
9
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,040
Isn't that divine?
10
00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:24,970
That's--
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00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:26,140
- [Cameraman] Male or female?
12
00:00:26,190 --> 00:00:30,210
(audience laughing
and applauding)
13
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- Thank you for asking
that, Uncle George.
14
00:00:42,050 --> 00:00:43,000
- [Girl] He's such
a smart mouth,
15
00:00:43,050 --> 00:00:45,000
how come you don't fire him?
16
00:00:45,050 --> 00:00:47,020
(laughs)
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00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,180
("Carol's Theme")
18
00:01:08,130 --> 00:01:11,180
(audience applauding)
19
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(bright fanfare)
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- Good evening, and
welcome to V.I.P.,
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00:01:24,020 --> 00:01:26,090
the television program
that moves its cameras
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00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:28,980
all over the country in
search of interesting people,
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and we will continue to
do so until we find one.
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And now here is your host
on V.I.P., F. Lee Corman.
25
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:39,020
(audience applauding)
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00:01:44,010 --> 00:01:45,050
- Good evening.
27
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Tonight we are departing
from our regular format
28
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of visiting celebrities' homes
29
00:01:49,070 --> 00:01:51,040
and have sent our
cameras to this
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00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:54,090
lovely wooded retreat
in Northern California.
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00:01:55,230 --> 00:01:58,080
Each weekend, hundreds
of nature lovers
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00:01:58,130 --> 00:02:02,130
come here to enjoy sociability,
sunshine, and health.
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00:02:02,180 --> 00:02:04,030
Ah, one of the sun worshipers
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00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,210
has just come into range
of our hidden cameras.
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00:02:08,020 --> 00:02:09,140
Let's talk to her, shall we?
36
00:02:12,020 --> 00:02:13,020
Hello there.
37
00:02:15,090 --> 00:02:16,970
Hello there!
38
00:02:17,020 --> 00:02:18,840
Hello there!
- Who said that?
39
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,070
- [F. Lee] It's
me, F. Lee Corman.
40
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,180
- Oh!
41
00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:24,180
- Do you mind if I ask you a
few questions about nudism?
42
00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:27,020
- Oh no, I guess
it'll be all right.
43
00:02:28,070 --> 00:02:29,050
- [F. Lee] Are you sure?
44
00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:30,200
- I have nothing to hide.
45
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,130
(audience laughing)
46
00:02:32,180 --> 00:02:34,220
- [F. Lee] Yes, I can see that.
47
00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:35,170
- You can?
48
00:02:37,010 --> 00:02:39,220
- [F. Lee] No, no, no, no,
I didn't mean it that way.
49
00:02:39,270 --> 00:02:42,090
Tell me, are you
married or single?
50
00:02:42,140 --> 00:02:44,950
- I'm single, but I
have a boyfriend here.
51
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,150
- [F. Lee] Oh? Do you go steady?
52
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,130
- No, but we see a
lot of each other.
53
00:02:48,180 --> 00:02:51,120
(audience laughing)
54
00:02:53,010 --> 00:02:55,160
- [F. Lee] How is
this nudist camp run?
55
00:02:55,210 --> 00:02:57,130
- It's run very democratically.
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00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,180
Every season we hold elections.
57
00:03:00,230 --> 00:03:03,130
Our president right
now is a Mr. Johnson.
58
00:03:04,180 --> 00:03:06,970
- [F. Lee] You have a
president named Johnson?
59
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,080
- Uh-huh, and his wife's
called Nudie Bird.
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00:03:09,130 --> 00:03:11,110
(laughs)
61
00:03:14,030 --> 00:03:18,110
- [F. Lee] Tell me, do you
have any kind of a motto or--
62
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:19,010
- Hm?
63
00:03:19,060 --> 00:03:22,060
(audience laughing)
64
00:03:27,010 --> 00:03:28,110
I got the little devil.
65
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,110
(audience laughing)
66
00:03:34,050 --> 00:03:35,060
- [F. Lee] I was asking
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00:03:35,110 --> 00:03:37,980
do you have any kind
of a motto or slogan?
68
00:03:38,030 --> 00:03:39,990
- Oh, no, but we
have a camp song.
69
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,040
- [F. Lee] Oh? What's it called?
70
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:42,220
- On a Clear Day
You Can See Forever.
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00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,060
- [F. Lee] Tell me, what kind
72
00:03:46,110 --> 00:03:47,110
of a social life
do you have here?
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00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,060
- Oh, same as anywheres else.
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00:03:49,110 --> 00:03:51,980
We have movies, parties, dances.
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00:03:52,030 --> 00:03:52,980
- Dances?
- Mm-hm.
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00:03:53,030 --> 00:03:54,180
- [F. Lee] How do nudists dance?
77
00:03:54,230 --> 00:03:55,170
- Cheek to cheek.
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00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:58,090
(audience laughing)
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00:03:58,140 --> 00:04:00,180
- [F. Lee] Tell me,
how do your parents
80
00:04:00,230 --> 00:04:02,130
feel about your being a nudist?
81
00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:04,080
- My parents are in favor of it.
82
00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:08,040
In fact, nudism brought my
mother and my father together.
83
00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:13,090
Oh yes, oh yes, my
mother, oh, you knew her?
84
00:04:14,090 --> 00:04:15,150
My mother was a nudist.
85
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,180
- [F. Lee] And what
was your father?
86
00:04:16,230 --> 00:04:17,230
- A policeman.
87
00:04:19,010 --> 00:04:21,130
(lively music)
88
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,010
(energetic music)
89
00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:40,180
(door closing)
90
00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:43,010
(sniffles)
91
00:04:48,090 --> 00:04:50,150
(shivers)
92
00:04:51,110 --> 00:04:53,150
(sneezes)
93
00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:55,120
- Oh.
94
00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:02,150
? I feel pretty ?
95
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,080
? Oh I'm pretty ?
96
00:05:04,130 --> 00:05:06,150
? Yes, I'm pretty and witty ?
97
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,140
(audience applauding)
98
00:05:13,170 --> 00:05:15,010
- Good morning, you're late,
99
00:05:15,060 --> 00:05:17,050
and we have a lot of work to do.
100
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:18,040
- Is that so?
101
00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:19,020
Good morning.
102
00:05:19,070 --> 00:05:19,990
- Yes, it is.
103
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,190
So you'd better get started.
104
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,150
- Well, okay.
105
00:05:23,130 --> 00:05:25,060
? Oh, I'm pretty ?
106
00:05:25,110 --> 00:05:26,150
? Yes, I'm pretty ?
107
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,180
(sneezes)
108
00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:29,130
- It's cold in here!
109
00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:32,140
- Well, some people are more
hot blooded than others.
110
00:05:33,180 --> 00:05:36,010
(blows nose)
111
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,160
(types)
112
00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:42,120
? I'm darling, I'm cute ?
113
00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:43,990
? Yes, I'm pretty ?
114
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,100
- What are you doing?
115
00:05:45,150 --> 00:05:46,990
Mr. Martin will be
here any minute.
116
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:47,990
- I certainly hope so.
117
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,200
I'm not doing this for you.
118
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- This is a business
office, and--
119
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:53,190
- Good morning, Simpson.
120
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:54,200
- Good morning, sir.
121
00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:57,030
- And a good morning
to you, Miss Lamont.
122
00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:57,960
(giggles)
123
00:05:58,010 --> 00:05:59,110
My, don't we look pretty today.
124
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,140
- Oh, we sure do.
125
00:06:01,190 --> 00:06:03,970
I just love you in that suit.
126
00:06:04,020 --> 00:06:06,020
- I know, that's why I wore it.
127
00:06:06,070 --> 00:06:07,070
(laughing)
128
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,040
Simpson!
- Yes, sir.
129
00:06:09,090 --> 00:06:11,040
- Here's a copy of
the Acme report,
130
00:06:11,090 --> 00:06:12,140
the Wesley survey, and
the Michaels account.
131
00:06:12,190 --> 00:06:14,140
Have 15 copies made of each.
132
00:06:14,190 --> 00:06:16,040
Then I want you to pull the
Webster and Dickinson files,
133
00:06:16,090 --> 00:06:17,120
bring them up to date.
- Yes, sir.
134
00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:18,170
- Then get in touch with
Mr. Rivers at the bank,
135
00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:20,220
go over our gross income
from '56 through '67,
136
00:06:20,270 --> 00:06:22,140
and then get me Jackson
at the main plant.
137
00:06:22,190 --> 00:06:23,040
- Yes, sir.
138
00:06:23,090 --> 00:06:24,160
- Miss Lamont, I--
139
00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:25,100
- Yes?
140
00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:27,070
- Miss Lamont, would you--
141
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,190
- Yes.
142
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:32,120
- If you're not busy, would
you get me some coffee, please?
143
00:06:32,170 --> 00:06:35,100
- I'd just love to, Mr. Martin.
144
00:06:36,110 --> 00:06:37,130
- No sugar.
145
00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:39,010
- Why, of course not.
146
00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:41,180
You're sweet enough as it is.
147
00:06:41,230 --> 00:06:43,180
(giggling)
148
00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:55,160
- Simpson!
149
00:06:55,210 --> 00:06:56,950
- Yes?
150
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,000
- [Mr. Martin] Have
you started on the--
151
00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:00,230
(audience laughing)
152
00:07:07,230 --> 00:07:09,060
Is there something
wrong with your eyes?
153
00:07:09,110 --> 00:07:10,140
- Why, no.
154
00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:11,140
(glass tinkling)
155
00:07:11,190 --> 00:07:12,190
Oh, there is now.
156
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,010
Oh,
157
00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:15,130
no.
158
00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:16,170
- What was that?
159
00:07:16,220 --> 00:07:19,020
- My contact lenses popped out!
160
00:07:19,070 --> 00:07:19,970
Be careful.
161
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:21,120
- Oh, that's terrible.
162
00:07:21,170 --> 00:07:23,010
You be careful how you walk
around here, Miss Lamont.
163
00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:24,170
You might cut your
pretty little feet.
164
00:07:24,220 --> 00:07:27,000
(glass breaking)
165
00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:30,170
- Never mind, I have some
glasses around here somewhere.
166
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,120
- Here's your
coffee, Mr. Martin.
167
00:07:34,170 --> 00:07:35,190
- Thank you, Miss Lamont.
168
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,160
I don't know what
I'd do without you.
169
00:07:37,210 --> 00:07:38,170
- Aw.
170
00:07:40,150 --> 00:07:41,220
- Thank you, Miss Lamont.
171
00:07:41,270 --> 00:07:44,170
I don't know what
I'd do without you.
172
00:07:44,220 --> 00:07:46,180
But I'd sure like to try.
173
00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:51,020
- Mind your own
business, Mr. Magoo.
174
00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:52,120
(sneezes)
175
00:07:52,170 --> 00:07:54,020
(intercom buzzing)
176
00:07:54,070 --> 00:07:55,100
- Yes, Mr. Martin?
177
00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:57,140
- [Mr. Martin] Simpson,
are those reports finished?
178
00:07:57,190 --> 00:07:59,040
- I'm sorry, sir, I
haven't had time--
179
00:07:59,090 --> 00:08:01,170
(Mr. Martin growls)
180
00:08:01,220 --> 00:08:04,140
(intercom tinkles)
181
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,100
- Hi.
182
00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:08,190
- [Mr. Martin] Hope
you're not busy.
183
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,190
- Ha!
184
00:08:14,230 --> 00:08:17,150
- Never too busy
for you, Mr. Martin.
185
00:08:18,190 --> 00:08:20,060
- [Mr. Martin] I just
wanted to tell you
186
00:08:20,110 --> 00:08:21,190
this coffee is yum-yum.
187
00:08:24,030 --> 00:08:25,190
- Thank you.
188
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,160
Anytime, Mr. Martin.
189
00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:29,960
- [Mr. Martin] Well, goodbye.
190
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,000
- Ciao.
191
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:36,010
- If you had to work for a
living, you'd starve to death.
192
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,090
- I'd still look
better than you do.
193
00:08:40,150 --> 00:08:42,150
- Simpson, have you finished
that work I gave you?
194
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,190
- Well, sir, it takes
hours doing it by myself.
195
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,020
Perhaps Miss Lamont
could give me a hand.
196
00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:48,100
- Oh, no, she can't.
197
00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:50,160
I have a very important
project for Miss Lamont.
198
00:08:50,210 --> 00:08:51,180
Miss Lamont?
199
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:52,970
- Yes?
200
00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:55,180
- I wonder if you would
sharpen this pencil for me.
201
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:58,150
- Oh, well, I'll
try, Mr. Martin.
202
00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:03,160
- The end without the eraser.
203
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,990
- Oh, that one.
204
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,000
Thank you.
205
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:12,090
There?
- Mm-hm.
206
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,050
- Ooh!
207
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:21,170
(audience laughing)
208
00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:25,180
(pencil sharpener grinding)
209
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,090
- [Simpson] You know,
we could save some time
210
00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:32,000
if I ordered an electric
pencil sharpener.
211
00:09:32,050 --> 00:09:33,180
- You do, and I'll fire you.
212
00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:36,960
- There you are, Mr. Martin.
213
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,200
- Ooh, thank you,
that's fine, perfect.
214
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:39,990
- Oh, good.
215
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,090
Is there anything
else, Mr. Martin?
216
00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:45,190
- Yes, get your pad and bring
it into my office, please.
217
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:46,230
- Oh, yes, sir.
218
00:09:49,190 --> 00:09:50,150
Ha!
219
00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:52,070
- Simpson.
220
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,060
- [Simpson] Yes, sir?
221
00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:53,980
- See that I am not disturbed.
222
00:09:54,030 --> 00:09:55,960
- Yes, sir.
223
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,200
Simpson, see that
I am not disturbed.
224
00:09:58,250 --> 00:10:01,090
(types)
225
00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:03,010
May I help you?
226
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,010
- Oh, hello.
227
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:05,190
I'm Mrs. Martin.
228
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:10,170
(audience laughing)
229
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,040
- You're Mrs. Martin?
- Yes.
230
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,140
- The Mrs. Martin?
231
00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:16,140
Mr. Martin's Mrs. Martin?
232
00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:17,090
- Yes.
233
00:10:17,140 --> 00:10:19,120
(laughs)
234
00:10:20,190 --> 00:10:22,070
- Oh, what a
pleasure to meet you!
235
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,110
- How do you do, my dear?
236
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:24,100
- Oh, go right in.
237
00:10:24,150 --> 00:10:25,150
- Is my husband in?
238
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,030
- Oh, yes, he is.
239
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,100
Just go right in.
240
00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:29,970
- You're sure I'm
not disturbing him?
241
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:32,060
- Oh, no, it'll be a
real jolly surprise.
242
00:10:34,140 --> 00:10:36,150
(laughs)
243
00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:41,140
- [Mrs. Martin] Marvin!
244
00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:43,170
(laughs)
245
00:10:44,140 --> 00:10:48,120
? It's a lovely day today ?
246
00:10:48,170 --> 00:10:51,160
? And whatever
you've got to do ?
247
00:10:51,210 --> 00:10:55,230
? You've got a lovely
day to do it in ?
248
00:10:57,150 --> 00:11:01,020
- Goodbye, Mrs. Martin,
and come back just anytime.
249
00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:03,190
It's been a pleasure seeing you.
250
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,140
Ta ta!
251
00:11:08,140 --> 00:11:10,000
- Simpson.
- Yes, sir.
252
00:11:10,050 --> 00:11:12,060
- Bring those files
into my office, please.
253
00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:13,050
- Yes, sir.
254
00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:20,030
? I feel pretty, oh, so pretty ?
255
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:24,040
? I feel pretty and
witty and bright ?
256
00:11:24,090 --> 00:11:29,040
? And I pity any girl
who isn't me tonight ?
257
00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:32,150
? See the pretty girl
in that mirror there ?
258
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:33,140
Oh!
259
00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:34,970
- [Mr. Martin] Simpson!
260
00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:38,180
- Yes, sir, coming,
sir, right away, sir.
261
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:40,110
? Oh, so charming ?
262
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:43,970
? It's alarming how
charming I feel ?
263
00:11:44,020 --> 00:11:45,060
- [Mr. Martin] Simpson!
- Yes, sir!
264
00:11:45,260 --> 00:11:49,170
? And so pretty that the world ?
265
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:52,010
(audience applauding)
266
00:11:52,060 --> 00:11:54,170
(lively fanfare)
267
00:12:00,190 --> 00:12:03,000
- And sweetheart,
love of my life,
268
00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:06,150
for dessert I have baked
with my own little hands
269
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:11,080
your choice of baked
Alaska or crepes Suzette.
270
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,030
- Blech!
271
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,950
This coffee is terrible!
272
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,020
Phooey, yuck!
273
00:12:17,060 --> 00:12:18,130
You call yourself a cook?
274
00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:21,000
You're nothin', a big, fat zero.
275
00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:22,190
That goes for your mother, too.
276
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,050
Dishwater, yuck!
277
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:26,110
(cries)
278
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,200
- [Narrator] The next evening.
279
00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:30,030
(harp music)
280
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,070
(coffee pot rattling)
281
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:43,200
(chokes)
282
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,180
- Serves you right, big mouth.
283
00:12:47,230 --> 00:12:50,220
(audience applauding)
284
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,050
- You know, with air travel
becoming more and more popular,
285
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:59,990
many people are using foreign
airlines for the first time.
286
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,030
Of course, each of
these airlines takes on
287
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,060
the national characteristics
of the countries it serves.
288
00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:07,050
And tonight we'd
like to show you
289
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:08,220
what the service might be
290
00:13:08,270 --> 00:13:11,180
on a few of those
foreign airlines.
291
00:13:11,230 --> 00:13:14,110
("Marseillaise")
292
00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:24,010
- Bonjour, monsieur et madame.
293
00:13:24,060 --> 00:13:26,060
Welcome aboard French Airlines,
294
00:13:26,110 --> 00:13:31,000
nonstop flagship direct
from New York to gay Paris.
295
00:13:31,050 --> 00:13:33,990
For your information,
this is Flight 40,
296
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:35,190
and I am 36-21-36.
297
00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:39,130
(men applauding)
298
00:13:39,180 --> 00:13:43,040
Now, would you excuse me
while I get comfortable.
299
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:46,080
Would the gentlemen please
fasten their safety belts
300
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:48,010
while I am taking off.
301
00:13:49,050 --> 00:13:51,020
(men whistling)
302
00:13:51,070 --> 00:13:53,160
To make your trip more pleasant,
303
00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:56,190
instead of in-flight
motion pictures,
304
00:13:56,240 --> 00:14:00,170
we will present the
naughty French revue,
305
00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:02,100
Les Nudes de Paris.
306
00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:06,080
Is this any way
to run an airline?
307
00:14:06,130 --> 00:14:08,130
(men applauding)
308
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:12,020
Now may I present
to you your pilot,
309
00:14:13,010 --> 00:14:15,030
Captain Pierre Montaigne?
310
00:14:16,170 --> 00:14:19,080
(go-go music)
311
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,150
- Bonjour, eh?
312
00:14:26,020 --> 00:14:28,100
This is your capitaine dancing.
313
00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:30,010
For your information,
314
00:14:30,060 --> 00:14:32,980
I am the airline's
number one pilot,
315
00:14:33,030 --> 00:14:37,100
and I have flown more than
10,000 transatlantic parties.
316
00:14:37,150 --> 00:14:41,070
- We will be flying at an
altitude of 30,000 feet.
317
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,050
- Of course, I will
be flying much higher.
318
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:46,050
(audience laughing)
319
00:14:48,050 --> 00:14:53,050
- Now we will continue our
flight in the French way.
320
00:14:54,090 --> 00:14:56,180
We will separate
the married couples.
321
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,150
(romantic music)
322
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:12,000
? Hold me close
and hold me fast ?
323
00:15:12,210 --> 00:15:15,070
? The magic spell you cast ?
324
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:20,070
? This is la vie en rose ?
325
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:24,980
? When you kiss
me, heaven sighs ?
326
00:15:25,030 --> 00:15:28,140
? And though I close my eyes ?
327
00:15:28,190 --> 00:15:33,140
? I see la vie en rose ?
328
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:39,100
? When you press
me to your heart ?
329
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:42,130
? I'm in a world apart ?
330
00:15:42,180 --> 00:15:47,120
? A world where roses bloom ?
331
00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:53,050
? And when you speak,
angels sing from above ?
332
00:15:55,030 --> 00:16:00,030
? Everyday words seem to
turn into love songs ?
333
00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:11,050
? Give your heart
and soul to me ?
334
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:16,050
? And life will always be ?
335
00:16:17,050 --> 00:16:19,130
? La vie en rose ?
336
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:27,120
Oh, what would you like?
337
00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:29,060
Coffee, tea,
338
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,140
or me?
339
00:16:33,050 --> 00:16:35,210
(lively fanfare)
340
00:16:39,010 --> 00:16:41,120
(bright music)
341
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:49,050
(audience laughing)
342
00:16:51,050 --> 00:16:53,000
- Greetings, comrades.
343
00:16:53,050 --> 00:16:57,080
Welcome to Slavic Airlines,
flight number one.
344
00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:03,040
This is first class section.
345
00:17:05,030 --> 00:17:08,040
We don't have any safety
belts on the plane,
346
00:17:08,090 --> 00:17:12,060
so you men who have the belts
on your pants, use those.
347
00:17:12,110 --> 00:17:14,080
Just don't stand up.
348
00:17:15,060 --> 00:17:17,200
In case of any trouble
during the flight,
349
00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:21,160
don't worry, we got
emergency door right here.
350
00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:28,020
We will be taking
off in five minutes.
351
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:30,220
Knock on wood.
352
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:38,000
We will proceed directly
from here to the repair shop.
353
00:17:38,050 --> 00:17:43,050
And now I would like you
should meet driver of airplane.
354
00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:45,220
Hey, Kowalski!
355
00:17:45,270 --> 00:17:47,220
- Yeah, yeah.
356
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,070
(audience laughing)
357
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,070
Hello, Stella.
358
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,040
Greetings, comrades.
359
00:17:55,090 --> 00:17:58,120
I am Captain Stefan Kowalski,
360
00:17:58,170 --> 00:18:02,100
most decorated hero
of World War II.
361
00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:05,000
Didn't get captured
till second day.
362
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:08,130
(speaking foreign language)
363
00:18:10,050 --> 00:18:12,230
Now we'll be flying over ocean
364
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:16,130
at top speed of 12 miles an hour
365
00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:18,150
at altitude of six feet.
366
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:22,060
I will try to avoid
the big waves.
367
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:26,160
(speaking foreign language)
368
00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:29,010
All right.
369
00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:32,970
I'll give you another chance.
370
00:18:33,020 --> 00:18:36,060
All right, it's time to
contact the control tower.
371
00:18:37,180 --> 00:18:39,170
(glass breaking)
372
00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:41,090
Are we ready for takeoff?
373
00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:44,030
- [Man] All clear.
374
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,230
- All right, give me
back my brick, you crook.
375
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,130
They don't grow on trees.
376
00:18:48,140 --> 00:18:51,020
(speaking foreign language)
377
00:18:51,070 --> 00:18:52,080
Here, hold this.
378
00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:54,110
All right, we now take off
379
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:57,080
for Budapest,
Belgrade, and Warsaw.
380
00:18:57,130 --> 00:18:59,950
- How long before
we get to Warsaw?
381
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,020
- Maybe a week.
382
00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:03,040
- A week?
383
00:19:03,090 --> 00:19:04,180
- Who's in a hurry
to get to Poland?
384
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,130
Phooey.
385
00:19:07,170 --> 00:19:09,980
- What kind of food do
you serve on this flight?
386
00:19:10,030 --> 00:19:12,020
- Chicken.
387
00:19:12,220 --> 00:19:15,050
Proud bird with the broken tail.
388
00:19:17,070 --> 00:19:18,060
- [Passenger] What about liquor?
389
00:19:18,110 --> 00:19:18,990
- What?
390
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:20,040
- [Passenger] What about liquor?
391
00:19:20,090 --> 00:19:21,110
- Oh, you're in luck.
392
00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:24,090
This is champagne flight.
393
00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:27,090
(audience laughing)
394
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,150
Here.
395
00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:41,150
Pass it among you.
396
00:19:43,150 --> 00:19:46,160
- All right, we be
ready for takeoff.
397
00:19:46,210 --> 00:19:48,020
Hey, Stella.
- What?
398
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:49,040
- Here, hold this.
399
00:19:51,130 --> 00:19:54,960
Hey, Stella, how about give
me a kiss for good luck, yeah?
400
00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:56,930
- Phew!
- Oh, come on, Stella!
401
00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:58,170
Come on, Stella!
402
00:20:00,060 --> 00:20:02,170
Hey, pay attention, this is
your in-flight entertainment.
403
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,070
(fabric ripping)
404
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:08,210
My best uniform.
405
00:20:11,020 --> 00:20:12,810
- Okay!
406
00:20:13,010 --> 00:20:16,170
Hold onto seats,
because here we go!
407
00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:19,100
(engine roaring)
408
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:24,150
(audience applauding)
409
00:20:31,150 --> 00:20:36,150
? I'm so glad we had
this time together ?
410
00:20:37,150 --> 00:20:42,000
? Just to have a
laugh or sing a song ?
411
00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:47,220
? Seems we just get started
and before you know it ?
412
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:53,170
? Comes the time we
have to say so long ?
413
00:20:56,070 --> 00:20:57,170
- Goodnight.
414
00:20:57,220 --> 00:20:59,030
("Carol's Theme")
415
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,090
(audience applauding)
27984
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