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1
00:00:01,017 --> 00:00:02,975
- Previously on
"Resident Alien"...
2
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,501
- Calm down? I
can't calm down.
3
00:00:04,525 --> 00:00:05,874
They're threatening
our families!
4
00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:08,442
- If I knew something
important and dangerous,
5
00:00:08,486 --> 00:00:09,922
I might've written it down.
6
00:00:09,965 --> 00:00:11,793
- Holy shit!
7
00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:13,839
- Who the hell is
Galvan/Powell Group?
8
00:00:13,882 --> 00:00:15,362
- Why are you in New York?
9
00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:17,712
You were supposed
to stay in Colorado
10
00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:19,149
and do your goddamn work.
11
00:00:19,192 --> 00:00:21,542
You have no idea who
you are dealing with.
12
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:24,415
- So where is this alien ball?
13
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:26,199
- I give you the ball,
I get my life back.
14
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:31,804
- My birthday's coming up.
15
00:00:31,829 --> 00:00:35,208
I was wondering if you want
to do something that day.
16
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:36,340
- I would love that.
17
00:00:36,383 --> 00:00:38,255
All: Surprise!
18
00:00:42,128 --> 00:00:44,043
- There's alien activity
here in Patience.
19
00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:45,479
I know it.
- What are you gonna do?
20
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,394
- I'm gonna call
the Alien Tracker
21
00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:48,874
and tell him to come to Patience
22
00:00:48,917 --> 00:00:50,180
and find himself an alien.
23
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,402
- I'm Goliath.
There's an alien race
24
00:00:55,446 --> 00:00:56,640
that's planning to
take over the Earth.
25
00:00:56,664 --> 00:01:00,146
- Wha... ah...
26
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,800
- You should've just
stayed in Colorado
27
00:01:01,843 --> 00:01:04,368
and done your job.
- You shot me.
28
00:01:04,411 --> 00:01:06,065
- Yeah. I should've
never made you
29
00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:07,762
kill Sam Hodges.
30
00:01:07,806 --> 00:01:10,025
I should've just taken
care of it myself.
31
00:01:17,946 --> 00:01:23,213
- Asta.
32
00:01:23,256 --> 00:01:26,781
- Holy shit. What
the hell happened?
33
00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:29,219
- He shot me.
34
00:01:29,262 --> 00:01:30,742
- Okay, we need to
call an ambulance.
35
00:01:30,785 --> 00:01:32,396
- No! We do not
need to do that.
36
00:01:32,439 --> 00:01:35,181
This is a dangerous man.
37
00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:38,289
- This is bad.
This is really bad.
38
00:01:39,050 --> 00:01:41,461
- No, it is okay.
39
00:01:42,534 --> 00:01:43,726
He's dead.
40
00:01:44,081 --> 00:01:45,865
- Oh, God.
41
00:01:46,003 --> 00:01:48,092
- Harry, Asta? Y'all out here?
42
00:01:48,183 --> 00:01:50,489
I heard gunfire!
43
00:01:50,514 --> 00:01:52,037
Hello?
44
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,373
Sheriff's Department.
45
00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:58,639
Oh, shit!
46
00:01:58,675 --> 00:01:59,904
- Oh, damn. What
y'all doin' out here?
47
00:01:59,937 --> 00:02:02,295
Did y'all hear gunshots?
- Just a racoon.
48
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:04,776
I almost put down that varmint.
49
00:02:04,819 --> 00:02:06,038
- I'm pretty sure I heard
50
00:02:06,081 --> 00:02:08,388
two distinctly different
caliber gunshots.
51
00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:10,825
- That was me. I'm
still celebrating.
52
00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:12,523
It's my birthday!
53
00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:17,876
- Yay, Harry. Whoo-hoo.
54
00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:20,270
- Oh, okay.
55
00:02:20,313 --> 00:02:22,228
Damn, y'all scared
the shit out of me.
56
00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:25,144
Anyway, it's good to
see y'all are all right.
57
00:02:25,188 --> 00:02:26,841
Everybody else left.
58
00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,515
They was wonderin' where
the two of you went.
59
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,410
- Yeah, I was thinking
the same thing.
60
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:32,319
I was like, "Where did they go?
61
00:02:32,344 --> 00:02:36,242
Don't tell me they're
off owl-hunting again."
62
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:37,939
But then, you know,
I went outside,
63
00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:40,290
followed the hoots,
and there they were.
64
00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:43,293
- Hoot, hoot.
- Hoot.
65
00:02:43,336 --> 00:02:44,729
- So...
- Hoot.
66
00:02:44,772 --> 00:02:46,905
- Yeah.
67
00:02:46,948 --> 00:02:50,517
- Okay.
- So you guys have fun here.
68
00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:54,217
Sheriff and I, no place to
go but away to our homes.
69
00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:56,480
Thank you for the party.
70
00:02:56,523 --> 00:02:59,047
- All right, yeah, um,
thanks for everything.
71
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,484
Party was pretty cool.
72
00:03:00,527 --> 00:03:03,878
You might want to open that
window in your bathroom.
73
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:06,030
Smell like a good old-fashioned
hump house up in there.
74
00:03:06,054 --> 00:03:07,230
- Ha ha!
75
00:03:07,273 --> 00:03:08,424
- You know what
I'm talking about.
76
00:03:08,448 --> 00:03:10,363
Yeah, that wasn't no normal sex.
77
00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,539
- No, I know.
- Ben and Kate.
78
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,063
- Yeah. You don't
know the half of it.
79
00:03:15,716 --> 00:03:18,371
- Oh, are you okay?
80
00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:21,896
- No. Are you?
81
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,071
No.
82
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:35,301
- Jesus, they took him out.
- What the hell we gonna do?
83
00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:38,217
- What was that?
84
00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,139
- Vin!
85
00:03:47,182 --> 00:03:50,360
Vinny!
86
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:58,074
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87
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:10,597
- Death is not a
loss for my people,
88
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,773
not like it is for humans.
89
00:04:12,817 --> 00:04:14,775
Where I am from,
everything that exists
90
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,951
is all part of the
same ecosystem.
91
00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:19,737
When our life is over,
we simply change form
92
00:04:19,780 --> 00:04:21,956
and return to where we started,
93
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,436
part of the planet.
94
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,309
We never really die.
95
00:04:26,352 --> 00:04:30,617
- Harry, your blood
is turning alien.
96
00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:32,271
- The wound is making me weaker.
97
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:35,274
I need you to take the bullet
out so that I can heal faster.
98
00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:38,016
Human emotions make
death difficult for them.
99
00:04:38,059 --> 00:04:41,541
It adds fear and sadness
to something very natural.
100
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:43,369
The man Asta shot
may have family
101
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,197
who will mourn the
end of his life.
102
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:49,941
But he also tried to kill me,
so rot into dirt, ham bag.
103
00:04:55,250 --> 00:05:00,081
- Okay. Everyone's gone.
104
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:03,476
So do we want to talk
about the dead guy?
105
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,349
- He killed Sam Hodges.
106
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,570
- Yeah, that's right.
107
00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:13,268
We followed clues in New
York, which led us to him.
108
00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:14,487
- Found those clues.
109
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:17,403
- Yeah, and he knew
that we knew that...
110
00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:18,709
- He knew we knew it.
111
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:21,146
- He, uh... what he did, and...
- He did it.
112
00:05:21,189 --> 00:05:22,930
- So he came here to kill us.
113
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,889
- Tried to kill us.
114
00:05:24,932 --> 00:05:27,413
- Right. I was just gonna see
115
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,817
if you had, like, a woodchipper
I could chuck the body into.
116
00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:31,025
- What?
117
00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:33,550
No! We have to
tell the police!
118
00:05:33,593 --> 00:05:36,596
We should've told Mike.
This is self-defense.
119
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,947
- You cannot do that.
If you tell the police,
120
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:43,386
then the bad people will know
that you killed their friend,
121
00:05:43,429 --> 00:05:44,865
and then they will come
122
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:48,652
and kill you and everyone
that is close to you.
123
00:05:48,695 --> 00:05:51,219
- Wait, who are these people?
124
00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:54,875
Sorry, I don't understand.
125
00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:58,662
Is this why you've been so
secretive this whole time?
126
00:05:58,705 --> 00:06:01,578
You were just
investigating Sam's murder?
127
00:06:01,621 --> 00:06:03,188
Why didn't you just tell me?
128
00:06:03,231 --> 00:06:08,149
- She did not tell you because
she didn't want you to know.
129
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:09,553
- I get it. You
were protecting me.
130
00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:12,371
Well, now I'm
protecting you, okay?
131
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,068
Hey, no one's gonna hurt you.
132
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:16,244
Nothing bad's gonna
happen, all right?
133
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:19,683
I'm gonna go outside.
I'm gonna check the body,
134
00:06:19,726 --> 00:06:25,210
and you are gonna stay here
with Harry, fix him up.
135
00:06:25,253 --> 00:06:27,081
We got this.
136
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:30,041
Okay?
- Okay.
137
00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,746
Is she gonna be okay?
138
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:42,140
There's still an
alien baby outside.
139
00:06:42,183 --> 00:06:44,664
- Do you mean the alien
baby who attached to my head
140
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,710
to warn me that there
is an evil alien race
141
00:06:46,753 --> 00:06:48,712
planning on taking over Earth?
142
00:06:48,755 --> 00:06:53,281
The gunshots scared
it back into the lake.
143
00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:55,762
- Well, you're very lucky,
144
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:57,764
because if this had
been a few inches lower,
145
00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,525
it would've hit your
heart, and you'd be dead.
146
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:03,117
- Mm.
- Wait. would you have died,
147
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,946
or would you just
turn back to alien?
148
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:07,470
- If the bullet hit
the human heart,
149
00:07:07,513 --> 00:07:08,775
it would kill this body
150
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:11,125
before I could turn
back into an alien.
151
00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:16,522
Then I would die too.
152
00:07:18,698 --> 00:07:21,222
- Oh, Harry.
153
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,528
- I'm not dead.
154
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:25,270
I am alive because you
killed the bad man.
155
00:07:25,313 --> 00:07:26,880
Thank you, Asta.
156
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,275
- You're welcome.
157
00:07:30,318 --> 00:07:33,365
- I do not like this human
feeling of being almost-dead.
158
00:07:33,408 --> 00:07:36,803
When I get a burnt
potato in my hashbrowns,
159
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:39,806
I put it to the side of
my plate and ignore it.
160
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:42,505
I will do the same with death.
161
00:07:42,548 --> 00:07:44,202
I feel better already.
162
00:08:13,361 --> 00:08:16,451
- Well, I found his car.
163
00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:19,672
I was wrong about tossing
the guy into a woodchipper.
164
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:22,153
Unless...
- I do not have a woodchipper!
165
00:08:22,196 --> 00:08:24,198
- Well, we can't make
him disappear anyway.
166
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:26,897
We have to plant
the body somewhere.
167
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,855
He was staying at
the Copper Ridge,
168
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,465
that shitty motel
on the edge of town.
169
00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:33,164
It's in the middle of nowhere,
quiet, no security cameras.
170
00:08:33,207 --> 00:08:35,446
It's one of the top three
places to plant a body in town.
171
00:08:35,470 --> 00:08:38,212
We'll bag the body, limit
how much DNA we get on it.
172
00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:39,823
I'll drive his car to the motel.
173
00:08:39,866 --> 00:08:42,042
You two dump his body
in the hot tub out back.
174
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:43,609
- Mm.
- We want the body in hot water
175
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:44,958
to help muddy the evidence.
176
00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:47,221
We'll plant his gun on
him, make him look shady.
177
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:49,267
Harry, you melt down
the rifle that shot him.
178
00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:51,225
- Ha!
- All right,
179
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:54,402
now he's just a dead guy in
a hot tub at a shitty motel.
180
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:56,970
- "Law and Order."
181
00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:58,102
- "CSI."
182
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,282
I'll go bring his car around.
183
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:10,636
- That's not the only
thing we will plant on him!
184
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,423
The medical records!
185
00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:19,253
We must sneak these into the
trunk of Mr. Dead Guy's car,
186
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:22,082
and then when they find the
dead body, they will find these
187
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:24,868
and they will blame him
for Sam Hodges' death,
188
00:09:24,911 --> 00:09:28,654
and then my name will
be cleared forever.
189
00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:31,744
Your Honor, the
evidence is clear!
190
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:34,573
There is no evidence
to convict my client!
191
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:36,793
I rest my case! Cun...
192
00:09:36,836 --> 00:09:38,882
Does "CSI" have
a "clung-clung?"
193
00:09:38,925 --> 00:09:40,927
- That doesn't help me.
194
00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:43,800
Harry, even if they
think that he killed Sam,
195
00:09:43,843 --> 00:09:46,585
I still killed him.
- It will work.
196
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:49,196
Mayor Snowflake has asked
me to be the town doctor.
197
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,937
I will accept. I
will do the autopsy.
198
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,460
I will fake the results.
199
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:56,290
I will make sure that Sheriff
Hat and Deputy Sadsmile
200
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:57,727
do not think you did it.
201
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:05,517
- "Frankenstein"
by Mary Shelley.
202
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:11,566
This audiobook is read to
you by Ms. Judith Cooper.
203
00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:15,353
"Letter One. To Mrs. Savi..."
204
00:10:15,396 --> 00:10:17,355
Sa... Savayle?
205
00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:20,532
Say, Say-vayle.
I... one of those.
206
00:10:20,575 --> 00:10:22,447
- Hey there, skank-arooni.
207
00:10:22,490 --> 00:10:24,057
- Oh, hey!
208
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,166
- Are you still trying to get
that audiobook thing going?
209
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:27,974
- Oh, yeah. I got
a new microphone.
210
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:30,542
So it's, like, really
professional now.
211
00:10:30,585 --> 00:10:32,607
- Oh, it looks like you're
still recording right now.
212
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:33,937
- Oh, yeah. It doesn't matter.
213
00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:35,721
Do you wanna watch me in action?
214
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,854
- Yeah, sure, yeah.
- Okay.
215
00:10:37,897 --> 00:10:41,684
"The commencement
of an enterprise,
216
00:10:41,727 --> 00:10:47,124
which you have regarded
with such evil forebodings."
217
00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:49,256
This one
is gonna scare
218
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,997
the poop out of my butt.
219
00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:53,086
- Yeah, I don't think
that part's in the book.
220
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:56,394
But I brought you these,
though, from a party I was at.
221
00:10:56,437 --> 00:10:58,265
- Oh! Deviled eggs.
222
00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:00,398
I didn't know about a
party. That's so weird.
223
00:11:00,441 --> 00:11:02,052
- Hmm.
- Oh, I bet
224
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,290
you probably tried to call me,
225
00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:07,318
but my phone is, like, so crazy.
226
00:11:07,361 --> 00:11:10,451
Thank you. Yummers.
227
00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:11,801
Oh, my God...
228
00:11:11,844 --> 00:11:14,194
So good.
229
00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:18,546
- Human corpses decay and
get smelly so quickly.
230
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:22,681
Why can't you turn to stone
like my people when you die?
231
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,727
- Can we not talk about this?
232
00:11:24,770 --> 00:11:26,250
I just wanna get this over with.
233
00:11:26,293 --> 00:11:27,686
- Mmm!
234
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:30,123
- You might wanna
slow down there.
235
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:32,212
- Well, mmm...
I'm really hungry.
236
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:35,041
Also, I really like these,
like, they're nice and warm,
237
00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,347
you know? You
can really, like,
238
00:11:36,390 --> 00:11:37,391
smell 'em.
239
00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:38,871
- Mm...
240
00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:40,917
- Can I have one more?
- Yeah.
241
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,136
Uh, do you have a
bathroom close by?
242
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,790
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm, good.
243
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,792
- Why?
- Ah.
244
00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:07,073
- Hey!
245
00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:11,512
Wake up, drunky! Better
not be pissing in there.
246
00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:17,127
People don't listen.
247
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,914
How's he even, like,
breathing in there?
248
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:14,010
- This way.
- You set me up.
249
00:13:14,053 --> 00:13:16,534
- If I had set you up, I
would be with all those men
250
00:13:16,577 --> 00:13:20,799
and dogs that are clearly
chasing both of us.
251
00:13:26,413 --> 00:13:30,722
- Tell me everything we know
about the Galvan/Powell Group.
252
00:13:30,765 --> 00:13:33,072
- Multinational conglomerate,
253
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:36,075
um, businesses all
over the world,
254
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:40,427
and interests in everything
from energy to shipping.
255
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,908
- And all the names we
found in Sam's office
256
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:45,345
are top executives
that work there.
257
00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:48,392
- Maybe they had something
to do with Sam's death
258
00:13:48,435 --> 00:13:51,177
and writing the names down
was his insurance policy.
259
00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:52,700
- Yeah, that's a good guess.
260
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,722
Hell, I wouldn't be surprised
if they all killed him.
261
00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:55,941
Look at them rich people names:
262
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:58,924
Troy Hendricks,
Tanner Corrington.
263
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:00,317
Sound like old-money murderers
264
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,058
who killed their
way out of trouble.
265
00:14:02,101 --> 00:14:04,495
The parents too busy buying
yachts and wearing visors
266
00:14:04,538 --> 00:14:05,800
to teach 'em right from wrong.
267
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,672
- They probably wear belts
268
00:14:07,715 --> 00:14:09,761
that have whales
and lobsters on 'em.
269
00:14:09,804 --> 00:14:11,154
- Just a bunch
270
00:14:11,197 --> 00:14:13,634
of generational-wealth,
privileged-as-hell,
271
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:18,596
lacrosse-ass, pastel-shorts,
boat-shoed mother...
272
00:14:18,639 --> 00:14:23,949
Sorry about the swearing.
- Oh, I swear all the time too.
273
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:27,213
Look at that guy, Gray Buchanan.
274
00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:30,260
- What an old shit...
275
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:33,785
head, asshole guy. Right, sir?
276
00:14:33,828 --> 00:14:35,439
- Yeah. Actually, yeah.
277
00:14:35,482 --> 00:14:37,876
You took some of them words
right out of my mouth.
278
00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:47,973
- Harry!
279
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:50,802
Oh, sorry. Dr. Vanderspeigle.
280
00:14:50,845 --> 00:14:52,195
Come in! Come in.
281
00:14:52,238 --> 00:14:55,067
How was the rest
of your birthday?
282
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:56,373
- I would like to talk to you
283
00:14:56,416 --> 00:15:00,855
about the offer for me
to be town doctor again!
284
00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:04,772
- Yeah.
- I accept.
285
00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:06,818
- Wow, that is incredible.
286
00:15:06,861 --> 00:15:08,776
- With these conditions:
287
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:12,171
I want the traffic outside
my office eliminated.
288
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,217
I want my own kitchen.
289
00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:19,004
I want that little
Ellen nurse to not talk,
290
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:23,008
and if she steals granola
bars from my desk,
291
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:26,620
I wanted her capital-punished.
292
00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:29,754
- Okay, well, two of
those are impossible,
293
00:15:29,797 --> 00:15:31,408
and one is kind of illegal.
294
00:15:31,451 --> 00:15:33,323
How about a white noise machine?
295
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,673
You know, it might block
the traffic sounds.
296
00:15:35,716 --> 00:15:37,153
- No deal!
297
00:15:37,196 --> 00:15:38,893
- Sheriff, Judy
Cooper's on the phone
298
00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:40,721
from the Copper Ridge Motel.
299
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:42,071
- Okay, deal.
300
00:15:42,114 --> 00:15:44,160
I accept the position. I
am now the town doctor.
301
00:15:44,203 --> 00:15:45,813
You cannot take it back.
302
00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:47,859
- O... okay!
303
00:15:47,902 --> 00:15:49,165
Great!
- Mm-hmm.
304
00:15:49,208 --> 00:15:50,969
- Ah, Deputy, we got
ourselves another murder!
305
00:15:52,559 --> 00:15:54,039
- What?
306
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:57,477
- Oh, no, a murder.
What a terrible day.
307
00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:03,005
- I remember he
checked in at 6:00,
308
00:16:03,048 --> 00:16:04,745
because I was eating my salami.
309
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:07,009
- And that's the last
time you saw him alive,
310
00:16:07,052 --> 00:16:08,532
when he checked in last night?
311
00:16:08,575 --> 00:16:11,361
- No, I saw him again
later in the parking lot.
312
00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:14,625
He was talking to two
men in a black van.
313
00:16:14,668 --> 00:16:16,583
Hello, Sheriff.
314
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:18,890
I knew that I was
probably gonna see you,
315
00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:20,674
So, um,
316
00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:23,068
I made you an audiobook.
317
00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:25,375
- "Autobiography of Malcolm X."
318
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:29,770
- Oh, Judy...
- Oh, it's not Malcolm Ten?
319
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:32,251
I'll redo it. I thought
that the X was a ten.
320
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:34,862
You know, like,
in Roman numerals.
321
00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:38,562
- Can you tell us anything
about the men in the van?
322
00:16:38,605 --> 00:16:41,260
- I didn't see 'em
real good, honestly.
323
00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:45,090
I did see a skunk, though, and
I followed it for a while...
324
00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:48,485
- Did you hear a gunshot?
- No.
325
00:16:48,528 --> 00:16:50,139
I actually didn't
really hear anything.
326
00:16:50,182 --> 00:16:52,445
D'arcy stopped by with food.
327
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:55,274
She was really upset because
I couldn't go to this party
328
00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:58,408
that she went to, so she
brought me devil's eggs.
329
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,584
- Oh, did you like them?
- Oh, yeah.
330
00:17:00,627 --> 00:17:02,455
They were really good.
- Oh.
331
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:04,172
- And luckily, there were still
a couple left on the counter
332
00:17:04,196 --> 00:17:06,677
this morning, so I finished 'em.
333
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,549
- Oh, are you having
any stomach issues?
334
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:13,205
- Oh, yeah. Real bad.
335
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:14,902
- All right, excuse me.
336
00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:16,774
Mr. Mayor, Dr. V.
337
00:17:16,817 --> 00:17:20,952
- I heard that there was
another murder in Patience,
338
00:17:20,995 --> 00:17:23,781
and I am devastated
at this news.
339
00:17:23,824 --> 00:17:25,411
- Yeah, see, we might
have an issue with that.
340
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:27,524
Little known fact: this hot tub
341
00:17:27,567 --> 00:17:30,527
is actually over the
county line into Jessup.
342
00:17:30,570 --> 00:17:33,356
So Jessup hot tub,
Jessup murder.
343
00:17:33,399 --> 00:17:35,445
Uh, suck on that, Mayor Mitch.
344
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:39,275
- Huh, well, maybe the shooter
was on the Patience side.
345
00:17:39,318 --> 00:17:41,451
- Well, maybe we should, uh,
346
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,168
take a gander at the
security cameras and see.
347
00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:45,237
- There are no security cameras!
348
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,326
Is my guess.
- He's right.
349
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:51,113
We're very discreet
here, so... I mean,
350
00:17:51,156 --> 00:17:54,768
two people could just disappear
into a motel room right now
351
00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:57,467
and do just about anything,
352
00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:00,339
and nobody would know...
353
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:02,776
I'll be right back.
354
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,430
- Look, with all due
respect, Mr. Mayor,
355
00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:05,910
I'm the sheriff of Patience,
356
00:18:05,953 --> 00:18:08,478
and this, to me, looks like
a Patience crime scene.
357
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,306
- And I'm the doctor
from Patience,
358
00:18:10,349 --> 00:18:15,659
and I will do the autopsy,
and you can suck on that...
359
00:18:15,702 --> 00:18:17,139
with no respect!
360
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:21,708
- Not very kind.
361
00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:23,667
- Sir, you're not
gonna believe this.
362
00:18:23,710 --> 00:18:26,322
- The victim was one of
the names on Sam's list:
363
00:18:26,365 --> 00:18:28,193
Tanner Corrington...
364
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:29,542
And he had a gun in his jacket.
365
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:34,895
- What an interesting
name I've never heard of.
366
00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:36,027
- Well, well, well.
367
00:18:36,070 --> 00:18:37,942
So Mr. Silver Spoon Fancy Pants
368
00:18:37,985 --> 00:18:43,034
was carrying and got
murdered? Surprise, surprise.
369
00:18:43,077 --> 00:18:45,819
- I'm so surprised.
370
00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:47,038
Wow.
371
00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:53,368
- Yes, hello.
372
00:18:53,392 --> 00:18:54,785
My name is Johnny Smithson.
373
00:18:54,828 --> 00:18:57,570
I'd like to report a murder
that happened in Jessup.
374
00:19:02,314 --> 00:19:08,451
- It's an odd feeling to know
that you are going to die soon.
375
00:19:08,494 --> 00:19:10,279
- I am glad this
appointment is over.
376
00:19:10,322 --> 00:19:12,150
Whenever this man
mentions dying,
377
00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:13,891
that bad feeling
I have about death
378
00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:16,633
climbs to the top of my stomach.
379
00:19:16,676 --> 00:19:19,897
Soon, it will not matter to
you what being dead is like,
380
00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:22,160
because you will be dead.
381
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:27,078
- I love your bedside manner.
382
00:19:27,121 --> 00:19:29,341
I'll miss it when I'm gone.
383
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:32,866
- No, you will not,
because you will be dead.
384
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,825
Goodbye, now.
385
00:19:34,868 --> 00:19:37,436
- You think I should give
him a different dose?
386
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,612
- One deceased male,
fatal gunshot wound.
387
00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:42,224
Where do you want
him for the autopsy?
388
00:19:42,267 --> 00:19:43,703
- Uh...
389
00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:45,444
- Alive people
wait in the lobby.
390
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:46,924
Dead people wait in exam one.
391
00:20:00,024 --> 00:20:03,201
- Hey. Much-needed day drink?
392
00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:06,291
- I need your help.
How am I supposed to...
393
00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:10,252
- What, live your
life just like normal?
394
00:20:10,295 --> 00:20:11,427
Hello, Asta.
395
00:20:11,470 --> 00:20:13,298
Here is your normal
3:00 p.m. whiskey,
396
00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,300
which you have every
day at this time.
397
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:21,741
- Oh, yeah, normal.
398
00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:24,396
I'm never gonna be normal again.
399
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,765
I'm supposed to
pick up Jay tomorrow
400
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,070
and take her to lunch
for her birthday.
401
00:20:27,094 --> 00:20:28,879
- Holy shit. That's amazing.
402
00:20:28,922 --> 00:20:31,534
- It would be if I
wasn't a murderer.
403
00:20:31,577 --> 00:20:33,057
- Okay, you're not a murderer.
404
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,928
You're just an innocent woman
405
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:37,975
that got caught up in all
this shit because of Harry.
406
00:20:38,018 --> 00:20:40,804
You shouldn't trust
that guy, by the way.
407
00:20:40,847 --> 00:20:43,197
He moved a body last night.
- So did we!
408
00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:45,809
- Yeah, but you know, it's
us. We made it look cool.
409
00:20:45,852 --> 00:20:49,334
It's like people who can rock a
pair of bell-bottoms, you know?
410
00:20:49,378 --> 00:20:51,075
- I think we should
tell the police.
411
00:20:51,118 --> 00:20:52,685
Maybe I should tell Liv.
412
00:20:52,729 --> 00:20:56,080
What if this guy has a family?
- Okay, you have a family...
413
00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:57,710
All right, starting with
me, your ne'er-do-well
414
00:20:57,734 --> 00:21:02,434
but lovable soul sister,
and if you go to the police,
415
00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:04,436
they'll just send more
bad guys to kill you,
416
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,133
and then I'll have
to kill all of them,
417
00:21:06,177 --> 00:21:07,352
and spend the rest of my life
418
00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:08,590
in my safe house
in Puerto Vallarta,
419
00:21:08,614 --> 00:21:09,678
which I can't really be there
420
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:10,853
for more than two
weeks at a time,
421
00:21:10,877 --> 00:21:12,662
and I hate going by
the name Veronica.
422
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,189
Okay. Well, you
make a good point.
423
00:21:18,232 --> 00:21:19,973
- Thanks.
424
00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:21,516
- All right, that's
fine. Keep me posted.
425
00:21:21,540 --> 00:21:22,585
- Yes, sir.
426
00:21:22,628 --> 00:21:26,153
- Okay. Thank you.
- Thanks.
427
00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:30,288
- Only three occupants in the
motel aside from the victim,
428
00:21:30,332 --> 00:21:33,117
and no one heard a gunshot
or anything unusual.
429
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,858
You find the murder weapon yet?
430
00:21:34,901 --> 00:21:36,425
- No.
- Shit.
431
00:21:36,468 --> 00:21:39,950
We got no gunshots.
We got no gun.
432
00:21:39,993 --> 00:21:42,169
- They could've used a silencer.
433
00:21:42,213 --> 00:21:45,521
- Or maybe it's an
icicle riddle, right?
434
00:21:45,564 --> 00:21:48,132
He gets stabbed with
an icicle, it melts.
435
00:21:48,175 --> 00:21:50,134
That's the perfect crime.
436
00:21:50,177 --> 00:21:51,875
- It looked like a
bullet wound, sir.
437
00:21:51,918 --> 00:21:55,313
- Yeah, maybe it was an ice gun
firing an ice bullet, right?
438
00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:57,160
The bullet friction, that'll
melt the gun right away,
439
00:21:57,184 --> 00:21:59,249
so that's a one-time-use-only
weapon, and the killer,
440
00:21:59,273 --> 00:22:00,405
he's gotta be somebody
441
00:22:00,449 --> 00:22:01,469
who knows how to
meditate or something,
442
00:22:01,493 --> 00:22:02,973
keep the body
temperature low enough
443
00:22:03,016 --> 00:22:04,627
that their hand
don't melt the gun.
444
00:22:04,670 --> 00:22:07,325
So maybe the killer's like
a Tibetan monk, right,
445
00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:09,371
who mediated before
he shot the guy...
446
00:22:09,414 --> 00:22:11,503
Not enough to bring him
inner peace, though.
447
00:22:11,547 --> 00:22:13,984
He was still angry
enough to kill a man.
448
00:22:14,027 --> 00:22:15,986
That's sad.
449
00:22:16,029 --> 00:22:19,293
- Or maybe he was shot
with a regular gun,
450
00:22:19,337 --> 00:22:22,166
and the murderer left with it.
451
00:22:22,209 --> 00:22:24,255
- See, that's thinking
inside the box.
452
00:22:24,298 --> 00:22:25,865
You think in, I think out.
453
00:22:25,909 --> 00:22:27,954
That's why we make such
a good team, ha ha.
454
00:22:29,869 --> 00:22:31,480
Hey! What are you
doing with that?
455
00:22:31,523 --> 00:22:33,371
That's the victim's car! We
ain't done with that yet!
456
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,658
- I'm sorry, sir. We
didn't order this.
457
00:22:35,701 --> 00:22:37,442
- I did. Hi.
458
00:22:37,486 --> 00:22:39,401
Detective Lena
Torres, Jessup Police.
459
00:22:39,444 --> 00:22:42,491
- Hello, what the hell are
you doing in my crime scene?
460
00:22:42,534 --> 00:22:44,362
- I could ask you the
same question, though.
461
00:22:44,406 --> 00:22:47,060
The answer is pretty
obvious, isn't it?
462
00:22:47,104 --> 00:22:48,845
The body was found in
a hot tub in my town.
463
00:22:48,888 --> 00:22:50,237
- Huh.
464
00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:51,456
No, I don't think so.
465
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:53,676
This here is a
Patience crime, okay?
466
00:22:53,719 --> 00:22:54,720
We got here first.
467
00:22:54,764 --> 00:22:56,461
You just can't go
towing that car.
468
00:22:56,505 --> 00:22:57,945
- I didn't see your
crime tape on it.
469
00:22:57,984 --> 00:23:00,117
- Well, that's
because we ran out
470
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,337
and had to switch to yellow
birthday party streamers,
471
00:23:03,381 --> 00:23:05,514
which disintegrated in the rain.
472
00:23:05,557 --> 00:23:06,926
- I think you'll agree that
it makes the most sense
473
00:23:06,950 --> 00:23:08,995
for us to take over
the investigation.
474
00:23:09,039 --> 00:23:10,214
Jessup forensic yard's
475
00:23:10,257 --> 00:23:11,713
got a bigger budget
and more manpower.
476
00:23:11,737 --> 00:23:13,130
- Huh. Well, I disagree.
477
00:23:13,173 --> 00:23:14,629
- You still haven't
introduced yourself.
478
00:23:14,653 --> 00:23:15,891
I guess they don't
have etiquette teachers
479
00:23:15,915 --> 00:23:17,003
here in Patience?
480
00:23:17,047 --> 00:23:18,527
- I'm Sheriff Mike Thompson.
481
00:23:18,570 --> 00:23:21,399
You can call me Big Black.
- In that case,
482
00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:24,010
you can call me Medium Brown.
483
00:23:24,054 --> 00:23:27,623
- I'm Liv. I'm white.
484
00:23:27,666 --> 00:23:29,538
- Nice to meet you.
485
00:23:29,581 --> 00:23:33,411
Okay, well, I'll loop you
in if I need any help.
486
00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:34,649
- You see how she
swung her finger around
487
00:23:34,673 --> 00:23:36,109
like she can loop?
488
00:23:36,153 --> 00:23:38,634
How you gonna loop me into
somethin' I'm already in?
489
00:23:38,677 --> 00:23:40,113
- Have a nice day!
490
00:23:40,157 --> 00:23:41,288
- I'm the loop...
491
00:23:51,168 --> 00:23:54,084
- Hey, Dr. V. I'm
so glad you're back.
492
00:23:54,127 --> 00:23:56,521
I am really relieved
493
00:23:56,565 --> 00:23:59,916
to be able to continue
our therapy sessions.
494
00:23:59,959 --> 00:24:04,529
I do not want to do it.
But it is part of the job.
495
00:24:04,573 --> 00:24:07,401
- Smart strategy.
Act indifferent
496
00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:10,274
so you don't seem like a
therapist and I open up more.
497
00:24:10,317 --> 00:24:13,277
- I actually do not care.
- That's brilliant.
498
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:17,890
- Hi.
- Your wife followed you.
499
00:24:17,934 --> 00:24:19,283
She's taking off her clothes.
500
00:24:19,326 --> 00:24:21,111
Please do not have
sex in my office!
501
00:24:21,154 --> 00:24:23,417
- I am so sorry
about last night.
502
00:24:23,461 --> 00:24:25,594
It's just a lot of
stuff got stirred up,
503
00:24:25,637 --> 00:24:30,599
and one thing led to another.
It's just so embarrassing.
504
00:24:30,642 --> 00:24:33,297
- I threw away all
of the bath towels
505
00:24:33,340 --> 00:24:37,997
and the bath mats and
the soap and my loofah.
506
00:24:39,433 --> 00:24:42,785
- So Kate had a great idea.
507
00:24:42,828 --> 00:24:46,745
Um, she suggested that
we try therapy together.
508
00:24:46,789 --> 00:24:50,967
- So she is controlling.
- You said I was controlling?
509
00:24:51,010 --> 00:24:53,447
- No. Uh, no, I don't think
510
00:24:53,491 --> 00:24:54,797
those were my exact words.
511
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:59,323
- He also said he hates
your honey-glazed salmon.
512
00:24:59,366 --> 00:25:01,586
- No, again, did not...
513
00:25:01,630 --> 00:25:03,327
- That salmon is
my specialty dish.
514
00:25:03,370 --> 00:25:05,111
- Love it.
- He said the only thing
515
00:25:05,155 --> 00:25:06,765
special about it
516
00:25:06,809 --> 00:25:12,205
was that something that lives
in the water could be so dry.
517
00:25:12,249 --> 00:25:14,556
- See, this is the problem.
518
00:25:14,599 --> 00:25:16,949
I want him to feel comfortable
telling me these things.
519
00:25:16,993 --> 00:25:20,257
- Mm, do not talk to me. Talk
directly to your husband.
520
00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:22,433
I do not care.
521
00:25:22,476 --> 00:25:25,175
- Yeah, that's his strategy.
522
00:25:28,395 --> 00:25:33,052
- Honey, I know you have
a hard time talking to me,
523
00:25:33,096 --> 00:25:37,666
and that's... it's okay. But
I don't want it to be hard.
524
00:25:37,709 --> 00:25:40,494
So I wanna make space for you
to tell me whatever you want.
525
00:25:40,538 --> 00:25:44,063
You can tell me
anything, and it's okay.
526
00:25:44,107 --> 00:25:50,635
- Okay, well, uh, thank you,
and thank you for the space.
527
00:25:50,679 --> 00:25:52,681
Without space, what do you have?
528
00:25:52,724 --> 00:25:53,986
Things. You know,
529
00:25:54,030 --> 00:25:57,033
things next to things,
which creates density,
530
00:25:57,076 --> 00:26:00,166
which also means
a lack of knowing,
531
00:26:00,210 --> 00:26:03,039
and sometimes the first
step in not knowing
532
00:26:03,082 --> 00:26:07,043
is knowing that you don't know.
533
00:26:07,086 --> 00:26:08,194
- What are you talking about?
534
00:26:08,218 --> 00:26:09,785
- You're supposed
to let him talk.
535
00:26:09,828 --> 00:26:12,222
- I am, but he's
not saying anything.
536
00:26:12,265 --> 00:26:13,658
We're having a baby.
537
00:26:13,702 --> 00:26:15,529
You know, we have
to talk about it.
538
00:26:15,573 --> 00:26:16,637
You know, I don't want to be
539
00:26:16,661 --> 00:26:17,899
the person in your
life who you...
540
00:26:17,923 --> 00:26:19,838
- I have more
important things to do
541
00:26:19,882 --> 00:26:22,536
than listen to unimportant
marriage arguments.
542
00:26:22,580 --> 00:26:23,929
The sooner I get them out,
543
00:26:23,973 --> 00:26:27,193
the sooner I can start
doing my fake autopsy.
544
00:26:27,237 --> 00:26:28,847
I will wait for her
to stop talking,
545
00:26:28,891 --> 00:26:31,894
then I will jump in and
tell them I have to leave.
546
00:26:34,287 --> 00:26:36,725
She is not stopping.
547
00:26:36,768 --> 00:26:40,859
- Wow, I think that
was a very good start.
548
00:26:40,903 --> 00:26:42,687
Thank you, Dr. Vanderspeigle.
549
00:26:45,255 --> 00:26:47,692
- Do you, um, do you
think it went well?
550
00:26:47,736 --> 00:26:49,868
- I don't know.
551
00:26:49,912 --> 00:26:54,351
I was doing math problems in
my head just to pass the time.
552
00:26:54,394 --> 00:26:57,093
What are they doing
with my body... hey!
553
00:26:57,136 --> 00:27:00,270
- Ah, well, Jessup police are
taking over the investigation
554
00:27:00,313 --> 00:27:01,334
because the hot
tub's in their town.
555
00:27:01,358 --> 00:27:02,465
So they're gonna
handle everything.
556
00:27:02,489 --> 00:27:03,752
- What do you mean everything?
557
00:27:03,795 --> 00:27:07,451
- Ballistics, you know,
autopsy, everything.
558
00:27:07,494 --> 00:27:10,019
Looks like Jessup is
Murder Town, USA now.
559
00:27:15,198 --> 00:27:17,679
- Hi, my name is
Deputy Liv Baker,
560
00:27:17,722 --> 00:27:22,684
and I have video evidence of an
unidentified aerial phenomenon
561
00:27:22,727 --> 00:27:25,687
that multiple witnesses
theorize is an alien ship.
562
00:27:25,730 --> 00:27:30,300
I also believe I might've
lost time, and I saw something
563
00:27:30,343 --> 00:27:31,649
I can't explain.
564
00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:37,699
I hope you get this.
Also, I'm not a wacko.
565
00:27:39,744 --> 00:27:40,702
- What's goin' on?
What you doin',
566
00:27:40,745 --> 00:27:42,399
an Instagram or somethin'?
567
00:27:42,442 --> 00:27:43,811
'Cause the lighting
in here is terrible.
568
00:27:43,835 --> 00:27:45,247
You gotta get yourself
one of them lights
569
00:27:45,271 --> 00:27:47,796
to make your skin look
better, like a flesh light.
570
00:27:47,839 --> 00:27:52,191
- I don't think that's
what it's, um, called.
571
00:27:52,235 --> 00:27:55,107
Fine. I'm recording a message
572
00:27:55,151 --> 00:27:58,241
to the Alien Tracker to go
along with the UFO video
573
00:27:58,284 --> 00:27:59,982
I got from Eugena Plunkett.
574
00:28:00,025 --> 00:28:03,246
- Did I not tell you to do that
on your own personal time only?
575
00:28:03,289 --> 00:28:04,769
- Yes, you did, sir.
- Okay.
576
00:28:04,813 --> 00:28:09,513
- This is personal time. I
had to go to the bathroom.
577
00:28:09,556 --> 00:28:12,081
So I'm counting this
as a bathroom break,
578
00:28:12,124 --> 00:28:15,388
and I'm just gonna hold
it for double long.
579
00:28:15,432 --> 00:28:17,129
- Huh.
580
00:28:17,173 --> 00:28:19,218
That logic checks out.
581
00:28:19,262 --> 00:28:21,090
So long as you don't go
to the bathroom again
582
00:28:21,133 --> 00:28:22,589
until you would've
gone to the bathroom
583
00:28:22,613 --> 00:28:23,938
if you were going
to the bathroom now,
584
00:28:23,962 --> 00:28:25,529
and when you do go
to the bathroom then,
585
00:28:25,572 --> 00:28:27,792
you gotta go twice as fast.
586
00:28:27,836 --> 00:28:30,708
- Of course. Yeah,
that makes sense.
587
00:28:30,752 --> 00:28:32,710
- All right, look at
that. We worked that out.
588
00:28:32,754 --> 00:28:34,233
- Could you please
589
00:28:34,277 --> 00:28:35,994
hand me some of those
Post-it notes over there?
590
00:28:36,018 --> 00:28:37,671
But not them
boring-ass yellow ones.
591
00:28:37,715 --> 00:28:38,736
I'm feelin' frisky.
Give me them
592
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,283
fuchsia sumbitches right there.
593
00:28:40,326 --> 00:28:42,633
- Mm, frisky.
- Mm-hmm.
594
00:28:42,676 --> 00:28:44,766
- Yes, sir.
- All right.
595
00:28:44,809 --> 00:28:46,308
- I'ma do all sorts
of stuff with these.
596
00:28:46,332 --> 00:28:49,118
- I don't wanna know.
- Thank you, Deputy.
597
00:28:54,471 --> 00:28:55,733
"Thank you for your message.
598
00:28:55,777 --> 00:28:58,736
"The Alien Tracker is
very busy right now.
599
00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:03,436
But check out his upcoming
tour dates below."
600
00:29:05,917 --> 00:29:09,616
I shouldn't have had
that extra iced tea.
601
00:29:09,660 --> 00:29:12,228
- The alien baby
has not returned.
602
00:29:12,271 --> 00:29:15,840
I need to find it so I can get
the rest of Goliath's message.
603
00:29:15,884 --> 00:29:17,407
Right now, all I know is that
604
00:29:17,450 --> 00:29:21,063
there is another dangerous
alien race already on Earth.
605
00:29:26,155 --> 00:29:27,809
I also know if I
can't figure out
606
00:29:27,852 --> 00:29:29,071
how to get the autopsy back,
607
00:29:29,114 --> 00:29:30,855
Asta will end up in Jessup jail,
608
00:29:30,899 --> 00:29:32,944
and I will have to bake her
a cake with a file in it
609
00:29:32,988 --> 00:29:35,904
like the cartoons
so she can escape.
610
00:29:35,947 --> 00:29:37,949
I don't want to bake a cake.
611
00:29:37,993 --> 00:29:41,257
Why can't the cartoons
bake escape pies?
612
00:29:41,300 --> 00:29:42,998
- There he is!
613
00:29:43,041 --> 00:29:45,043
Thought I'd bring
some brewskis by,
614
00:29:45,087 --> 00:29:47,176
celebrate your first
day back on the job.
615
00:29:47,219 --> 00:29:48,917
- I just saw you
today. That is enough.
616
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,808
- Ah, that was just
therapy. That doesn't count.
617
00:29:50,832 --> 00:29:52,790
This is the real hang.
Just a couple of dudes,
618
00:29:52,834 --> 00:29:55,488
no girls allowed,
order some 'za, huh?
619
00:29:55,532 --> 00:29:57,664
Come on, it'll be fun!
- No.
620
00:29:57,708 --> 00:30:00,450
No, get back in your
car. This is my house.
621
00:30:00,493 --> 00:30:02,147
- Oh, windy out here.
- Leave!
622
00:30:02,191 --> 00:30:03,496
- Yeah, let's go!
- No!
623
00:30:11,156 --> 00:30:13,855
- Well, just so you know,
624
00:30:13,898 --> 00:30:16,814
I'm sending you the co-pay
for my next dental bill.
625
00:30:16,858 --> 00:30:21,863
- Mm, way to work in
that you have insurance.
626
00:30:21,906 --> 00:30:23,429
That's hot.
627
00:30:23,473 --> 00:30:27,956
- A woman who hits on me with
her mouth full... also hot.
628
00:30:30,393 --> 00:30:33,613
- Well, I figured that
629
00:30:33,657 --> 00:30:35,833
I owed you the
whole dessert menu
630
00:30:35,877 --> 00:30:37,922
after standing you up last time.
631
00:30:37,966 --> 00:30:39,358
- Yeah.
- Yeah, no,
632
00:30:39,402 --> 00:30:40,664
that night was just...
633
00:30:43,710 --> 00:30:50,282
Um, anyway, I'm here now.
- Are you?
634
00:30:50,326 --> 00:30:51,588
Because a few minutes ago,
635
00:30:51,631 --> 00:30:53,305
I asked if you had any
brothers or sisters,
636
00:30:53,329 --> 00:30:55,026
and you said, "Fine, thanks!"
637
00:30:57,115 --> 00:30:59,074
- Did I?
- You know, he waited for you
638
00:30:59,117 --> 00:31:00,858
for three hours.
639
00:31:00,902 --> 00:31:03,078
I respect a man with confidence
640
00:31:03,121 --> 00:31:05,471
to return to the
scene of a rejection.
641
00:31:05,515 --> 00:31:09,736
- Wow. Damn.
642
00:31:09,780 --> 00:31:12,348
- Three hours?
643
00:31:12,391 --> 00:31:13,784
- Speaks to a man's character,
644
00:31:13,827 --> 00:31:16,047
puttin' in the time
for what he wants.
645
00:31:16,091 --> 00:31:17,788
Careful, D'arcy.
646
00:31:17,831 --> 00:31:20,312
Looks like you hooked
yourself a real one.
647
00:31:22,619 --> 00:31:23,925
- He is...
- Rude.
648
00:31:23,968 --> 00:31:25,187
- Direct.
- Rude.
649
00:31:28,842 --> 00:31:32,498
- Um, no, that's wrong.
650
00:31:32,542 --> 00:31:35,458
I'm the rude one.
651
00:31:35,501 --> 00:31:37,242
I'm sorry.
652
00:31:37,286 --> 00:31:41,072
I'm here now, and
I'm happy to be here.
653
00:31:41,116 --> 00:31:44,336
A little nervous,
maybe. But...
654
00:31:44,380 --> 00:31:50,560
I guess some of us feel like
we don't deserve nice things,
655
00:31:50,603 --> 00:31:56,087
and you're a very nice thing.
656
00:31:58,785 --> 00:32:01,614
- You're a nice thing too.
657
00:32:21,069 --> 00:32:23,985
- Yeah, how do you ruin salmon?
658
00:32:24,028 --> 00:32:26,117
I mean, you basically just
shine a flashlight on it,
659
00:32:26,161 --> 00:32:27,814
and it's done.
660
00:32:27,858 --> 00:32:30,774
- This craft beer
is 15% alcohol.
661
00:32:30,817 --> 00:32:33,690
Based on his flab to ab ratio,
662
00:32:33,733 --> 00:32:35,997
he will be unconscious
in four minutes,
663
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:37,650
peeing himself in six.
664
00:32:37,694 --> 00:32:39,783
Not on my couch!
665
00:32:39,826 --> 00:32:42,220
- What?
666
00:32:42,264 --> 00:32:43,264
- Nothing.
667
00:32:45,484 --> 00:32:49,358
- Hey, uh... you ever
play any drinking games?
668
00:32:49,401 --> 00:32:50,750
- I have a drinking game.
669
00:32:50,794 --> 00:32:52,056
Why don't you call the police
670
00:32:52,100 --> 00:32:54,711
and tell them that I
should do the autopsy?
671
00:32:54,754 --> 00:32:56,626
If you do it, you win!
672
00:32:56,669 --> 00:33:00,456
- No way.
673
00:33:00,499 --> 00:33:04,895
Dead guy found in Jessup.
Eh... Jessup murder.
674
00:33:07,028 --> 00:33:09,334
I could've modeled, you know?
675
00:33:09,378 --> 00:33:10,988
Did I ever tell you that?
676
00:33:11,032 --> 00:33:16,124
I was scouted at
a mall one time.
677
00:33:16,167 --> 00:33:22,086
Guy came up to me, handed
me a business card.
678
00:33:22,130 --> 00:33:25,263
I called it. It's legit.
679
00:33:27,657 --> 00:33:31,835
Told Kate about it
once. She said, "Cool."
680
00:33:34,142 --> 00:33:37,145
You know, a guy comes up to
you in a mall, gives you a hug,
681
00:33:37,188 --> 00:33:40,800
offers you a modeling gig...
A little bit more than cool.
682
00:33:40,844 --> 00:33:42,672
- You know what is cool?
683
00:33:42,715 --> 00:33:44,282
Murder.
684
00:33:44,326 --> 00:33:46,371
You should fight to have
this one in Patience.
685
00:33:46,415 --> 00:33:50,723
- No, we already
have enough of those.
686
00:33:50,767 --> 00:33:53,813
Unless the killer, you know,
687
00:33:53,857 --> 00:33:57,339
was somehow standing
in Patience,
688
00:33:57,382 --> 00:33:59,645
this is a Jessup problem.
689
00:33:59,689 --> 00:34:00,951
- What he doesn't know is,
690
00:34:00,994 --> 00:34:02,866
the real killer was
definitely in Patience
691
00:34:02,909 --> 00:34:05,042
when she shot the man.
692
00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:09,655
I'm going for a walk.
Do not pee on my couch!
693
00:34:09,699 --> 00:34:12,354
- He said I had
Superman's jawline.
694
00:34:12,397 --> 00:34:13,833
Ouch.
695
00:34:17,446 --> 00:34:19,970
- If the mayor is not going to
help me get the autopsy back,
696
00:34:20,013 --> 00:34:21,537
I will do it myself.
697
00:34:26,411 --> 00:34:28,587
Mm.
698
00:34:28,631 --> 00:34:31,808
This is the shell casing
from Asta's rifle.
699
00:34:33,679 --> 00:34:37,161
If I use this correctly,
I can move the focus
700
00:34:37,205 --> 00:34:40,904
of the murder and the
autopsy back to Patience.
701
00:34:53,264 --> 00:34:56,093
This is the shell from
the dead guy's gun...
702
00:34:56,137 --> 00:34:58,400
From the bullet that
almost killed me.
703
00:35:03,709 --> 00:35:05,798
- Few inches lower and this
would've hit your heart,
704
00:35:05,842 --> 00:35:08,366
and you'd be dead.
- Mm.
705
00:35:16,113 --> 00:35:17,897
Now the bullet shell is gone,
706
00:35:17,941 --> 00:35:20,596
and it is like I was
never shot at all.
707
00:35:20,639 --> 00:35:22,075
Mm.
708
00:35:22,119 --> 00:35:25,253
It does not bother me.
Everything is fine.
709
00:35:27,124 --> 00:35:30,954
Everything is just fine.
710
00:35:49,233 --> 00:35:51,148
- So what do you got?
711
00:35:51,192 --> 00:35:53,803
- Ha, sorry if we
interrupted your workout.
712
00:35:53,846 --> 00:35:56,066
- I run six miles every
morning for a healthy body,
713
00:35:56,109 --> 00:35:58,851
and I do the crossword every
night for a healthy mind.
714
00:35:58,895 --> 00:36:00,853
- I can solve a Rubik's Cube.
715
00:36:00,897 --> 00:36:03,682
I learned from a book, but I
don't need the book anymore.
716
00:36:03,726 --> 00:36:05,989
- Cool! My little
niece can do that.
717
00:36:06,032 --> 00:36:08,513
- All right, Detective Torres,
this is Harry Vanderspeigle.
718
00:36:08,557 --> 00:36:10,733
He's our town doctor. He
was gonna do the autopsy
719
00:36:10,776 --> 00:36:12,822
before you decided
to steal his body.
720
00:36:12,865 --> 00:36:15,216
All right Dr. V, she's
here. So you wanna tell me
721
00:36:15,259 --> 00:36:16,671
why you got three of
my deputies out there
722
00:36:16,695 --> 00:36:18,480
scouring underneath those trees?
723
00:36:18,523 --> 00:36:23,180
- I have a working theory that
I would like to share with you,
724
00:36:23,224 --> 00:36:27,228
with the aid of my
assistant, Judy Pooper.
725
00:36:27,271 --> 00:36:31,319
- It's Cooper.
Pooper's my butt.
726
00:36:31,362 --> 00:36:35,105
- Judy Cooter.
- Cooper!
727
00:36:35,148 --> 00:36:38,674
Cooter's my lady pocket.
728
00:36:38,717 --> 00:36:40,110
- Should we get outside?
729
00:36:41,938 --> 00:36:45,246
- There was a perfect line
from those trees over there
730
00:36:45,289 --> 00:36:48,379
to the hot tub.
731
00:36:48,423 --> 00:36:49,423
Go.
732
00:36:52,644 --> 00:36:56,213
With a hunting rifle, the
murderer could have hidden
733
00:36:56,257 --> 00:36:58,650
over there to take the shot.
734
00:36:58,694 --> 00:37:01,871
The shot knocks the
man into the water...
735
00:37:01,914 --> 00:37:03,089
Bang!
- Oh!
736
00:37:03,133 --> 00:37:05,135
Oh. Ah!
737
00:37:07,572 --> 00:37:10,401
Oh, oh, oh, no. Oh, no.
738
00:37:10,445 --> 00:37:11,663
- What the hell?
- Wow.
739
00:37:11,707 --> 00:37:14,144
- Why?
740
00:37:14,187 --> 00:37:15,493
Excuse me.
741
00:37:17,756 --> 00:37:19,715
- Was that good?
- You did not have to
742
00:37:19,758 --> 00:37:23,371
fall in the water.
I told her that.
743
00:37:23,414 --> 00:37:27,636
This is dead human soup.
744
00:37:27,679 --> 00:37:30,552
- Sheriff, I found a
shell of a hunting rifle.
745
00:37:32,815 --> 00:37:34,251
- Look at that.
746
00:37:34,295 --> 00:37:37,776
- Well, that looks like an
excellent working theory.
747
00:37:37,820 --> 00:37:40,649
- Sir, those trees are on the
Patience side of the line.
748
00:37:40,692 --> 00:37:41,737
- Mm-hmm.
749
00:37:41,780 --> 00:37:43,652
Detective, I think
we can all agree
750
00:37:43,695 --> 00:37:48,439
that this murder here
crosses county lines.
751
00:37:48,483 --> 00:37:51,137
- Dr. Vanderspeigle, you
got a good handle on this.
752
00:37:51,181 --> 00:37:52,704
You should take the autopsy,
753
00:37:52,748 --> 00:37:55,838
and if your theory
proves correct,
754
00:37:55,881 --> 00:37:58,362
looks like we might
be partners on this.
755
00:37:58,406 --> 00:37:59,842
- Ugh.
- I will be happy
756
00:37:59,885 --> 00:38:01,409
to do the autopsy.
757
00:38:01,452 --> 00:38:04,716
- Probably not happy,
because the man is dead.
758
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:09,242
- No, I will be very happy.
759
00:38:13,246 --> 00:38:17,338
- Judy...
- This water stinks.
760
00:38:25,737 --> 00:38:27,652
- Hey, Asta. I got your text.
761
00:38:27,696 --> 00:38:29,915
What's going on?
- Hey, um,
762
00:38:29,959 --> 00:38:32,657
I wanted to talk to
you about something.
763
00:38:32,701 --> 00:38:34,398
- Okay.
764
00:38:34,442 --> 00:38:35,660
- Hey, girls!
765
00:38:38,402 --> 00:38:39,925
- Hi, Dan!
- Hi, Dad.
766
00:38:43,015 --> 00:38:44,756
- If you tell the police,
767
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:48,325
then the bad people will know
that you killed their friend,
768
00:38:48,369 --> 00:38:50,327
and then they will
come and kill you
769
00:38:50,371 --> 00:38:53,722
and everyone that
is close to you.
770
00:38:53,765 --> 00:38:56,420
- Hi?
771
00:38:56,464 --> 00:39:00,555
- I just wanted to
tell you how much
772
00:39:00,598 --> 00:39:04,297
I appreciate you and Mike
and all the hard work you do.
773
00:39:04,341 --> 00:39:06,387
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
774
00:39:06,430 --> 00:39:08,345
- You sure that's it?
775
00:39:08,389 --> 00:39:11,957
- Yeah. Yeah, that's it.
776
00:39:15,047 --> 00:39:17,615
That's it. Okay, thanks.
777
00:39:17,659 --> 00:39:20,052
- Okay, yeah.
- Cool.
778
00:39:24,970 --> 00:39:27,190
- The beaver's dexterity
allows it to hold food
779
00:39:27,233 --> 00:39:29,453
in its front paws as it eats.
780
00:39:29,497 --> 00:39:32,151
The herbivore
feasts on a quiet...
781
00:39:34,980 --> 00:39:36,155
- Took you long enough.
782
00:39:36,199 --> 00:39:37,809
- Oh, I'm sorry.
783
00:39:37,853 --> 00:39:42,597
Were you not enjoying the fact
that I am funding your safety?
784
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:44,860
- I'm sorry. I'm just hungry.
785
00:39:44,903 --> 00:39:47,166
- I have a problem.
786
00:39:47,210 --> 00:39:50,561
There has to be a mole
somewhere in my organization.
787
00:39:50,605 --> 00:39:52,694
Nobody else knew
about our meetup.
788
00:39:52,737 --> 00:39:55,914
Nobody else could've told
that sniper where to be.
789
00:39:55,958 --> 00:40:00,789
So congratulations, you're the
only one who can't be the mole.
790
00:40:00,832 --> 00:40:04,793
- Huh.
- But can I trust you?
791
00:40:04,836 --> 00:40:05,924
- Of course.
792
00:40:05,968 --> 00:40:07,926
- Then why did I
find the alien ball
793
00:40:07,970 --> 00:40:10,233
hidden under the
floorboards last night
794
00:40:10,276 --> 00:40:13,366
after I drugged your food?
- You drugged me?
795
00:40:13,410 --> 00:40:15,978
- Do you think I'm
stupid? You held onto this
796
00:40:16,021 --> 00:40:18,807
because it's the only thing
that could've saved your life.
797
00:40:18,850 --> 00:40:21,200
- Well, if you've
been drugging my food,
798
00:40:21,244 --> 00:40:23,333
then clearly, I can't
trust you either.
799
00:40:23,376 --> 00:40:26,118
- Good. Now we're
on the same page.
800
00:40:26,162 --> 00:40:30,906
We have an unknown common enemy.
801
00:40:30,949 --> 00:40:32,516
We're on the same side now.
802
00:40:37,913 --> 00:40:42,221
- Hey, how do I know you're
not just gonna drug me again?
803
00:40:42,265 --> 00:40:43,832
- You don't.
804
00:40:48,967 --> 00:40:51,492
- Victory! The
autopsy is mine.
805
00:40:51,535 --> 00:40:52,754
Now all I have to do
806
00:40:52,797 --> 00:40:54,669
is falsify the
results in my favor,
807
00:40:54,712 --> 00:40:57,628
and Asta and I will be free.
808
00:41:00,588 --> 00:41:04,548
Are you ready?
- Yes.
809
00:41:04,592 --> 00:41:07,638
- Here is what I will do.
810
00:41:07,682 --> 00:41:10,554
The time of death was
approximately 11:45 p.m.
811
00:41:10,598 --> 00:41:15,951
I will say it was 4:00
a.m. the next morning.
812
00:41:15,994 --> 00:41:17,343
There is dirt on the body
813
00:41:17,387 --> 00:41:20,303
from when we moved
it from the woods.
814
00:41:20,346 --> 00:41:22,523
I will not note that.
815
00:41:22,566 --> 00:41:25,177
There is also bruising
on the carcass
816
00:41:25,221 --> 00:41:28,354
from when we dragged it over
the sticks and the pinecones.
817
00:41:28,398 --> 00:41:31,053
I will not note that, either.
818
00:41:31,096 --> 00:41:33,098
You shot him from 10 feet away?
819
00:41:33,142 --> 00:41:37,799
I will say that the wound
indicates that he was killed
820
00:41:37,842 --> 00:41:41,324
from 50 feet away,
approximately.
821
00:41:41,367 --> 00:41:44,414
Mark the bullet's
point of entry.
822
00:41:44,457 --> 00:41:46,547
This is the death hole.
823
00:41:47,896 --> 00:41:51,464
- What the hell happened?
824
00:41:51,508 --> 00:41:52,944
- Did you mark it?
825
00:42:15,663 --> 00:42:17,882
We have not finished
the autopsy.
826
00:42:19,797 --> 00:42:21,451
- I can't do it.
827
00:42:21,494 --> 00:42:24,193
- Why not?
828
00:42:24,236 --> 00:42:26,978
- How do I live with myself?
829
00:42:27,022 --> 00:42:28,066
I killed him.
830
00:42:31,548 --> 00:42:34,812
How do I live the rest
of my life like this?
831
00:42:34,856 --> 00:42:37,641
I just want to forget
the whole thing.
832
00:42:37,685 --> 00:42:39,425
I can't do it. I can't!
833
00:42:39,469 --> 00:42:42,907
- It is okay.
834
00:42:42,951 --> 00:42:45,910
It will be okay.
- No, it won't.
835
00:42:48,130 --> 00:42:50,698
It'll never be okay again.
836
00:42:50,741 --> 00:42:53,657
- I can feel her pain
as if it is inside me.
837
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,140
If she could just pretend
it did not happen,
838
00:42:58,183 --> 00:42:59,750
she would feel better.
839
00:42:59,794 --> 00:43:01,622
Do not think about the pain.
840
00:43:03,798 --> 00:43:05,669
- How?
841
00:43:05,713 --> 00:43:07,628
- If she cannot push
the bad feelings away,
842
00:43:07,671 --> 00:43:09,586
I can help her.
843
00:43:09,630 --> 00:43:12,154
I can erase all of her memories
844
00:43:12,197 --> 00:43:14,809
of that night for her, and
she will be happy again.
845
00:43:17,812 --> 00:43:22,338
She will forget, and
everything will be okay.
845
00:43:23,305 --> 00:44:23,244
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