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1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:06,640
* MTV ♪
2
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,842
[both chuckling]
3
00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,845
[rock music]
4
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:19,019
♪ ♪
5
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,792
[tranquil music]
6
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,994
[ethereal shimmering]
7
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:30,631
Greetings, lowly mortals.
I am Smart Butt-Head.
8
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:32,233
And I am Smart Beavis.
9
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,435
We speak to you
from our newest purchase,
10
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:36,670
a beachfront property
on your moon,
11
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,173
which we bought
from a hot single in our area.
12
00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:45,313
Um, Smart Butt-Head,
I do not see the beach.
13
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,281
Hm.
[device chimes]
14
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:50,718
And Melody1998 is not answering
her communicator.
15
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,286
This is displeasing.
16
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:55,723
Hm, yes, yes,
perhaps she is too lonely.
17
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,992
In the meantime, let us
turn our eyes upon the Earth
18
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,495
and the most fascinating
of all realities,
19
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:04,565
the alternate universe
in which Beavis and Butt-Head
20
00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,334
are in middle age.
21
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,569
Your puny brains
cannot possibly understand
22
00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:11,105
what you are about to see,
but do your best
23
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,574
while we search for Melody1998.
24
00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,909
Yes, yes, and the beach
on the moon, yes.
25
00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:20,114
♪ ♪
26
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,718
Um, Butt-Head, this couch
has a spring sticking out
27
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:29,089
right next to my bunghole.
- Uh, I don't care.
28
00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:30,358
[chuckles]
- Okay, yeah.
29
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,860
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
[chuckles]
30
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:37,998
Ugh, boy,
this beer is good today.
31
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:40,634
Likes me some beer.
32
00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,903
[chuckles]
Over here.
33
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,372
[chuckles]
34
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,240
Ah, that's what
I'm talking about.
35
00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,941
Yeah.
36
00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:50,944
[chuckles]
37
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,713
What the hell do you think
you're doing, Beavis?
38
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,815
I'm gonna sit here
from now on, Butt-Head.
39
00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:57,218
[chuckles]
- The hell you say?
40
00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:59,587
Yes, I am.
You go sit on the spring side.
41
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,555
Your butt's so big,
you won't even notice.
42
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,090
[chuckles]
43
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:05,559
Okay, Beavis, I'll just wait
for you to go take a whiz,
44
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,528
and then I'll take it back, dumbass.
45
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:08,829
[chuckles]
46
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,399
Nope, I'm not gonna
take a whiz, never.
47
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,401
[chuckles]
48
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:19,173
Never gonna whiz.
[chuckles]
49
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:25,346
- Have another beer, Beavis.
- Don't mind if I do.
50
00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:27,248
[chuckles]
51
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:31,084
Because I'm never gonna pee.
[chuckles]
52
00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:36,624
[grumbling]
Ah.
53
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,827
Good morning, Beavis.
How's your bladder?
54
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,462
[grunts]
55
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:44,632
Never felt better, yep.
Just fine.
56
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,099
[chuckles]
57
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,869
[shivering and grumbling]
58
00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:53,073
Look at the waterfall,
Beavis, gently pouring down
59
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,075
like pee
coming out of a wiener.
60
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:57,845
- [shivering and grumbling]
- [sighs]
61
00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:00,348
Just let it go.
- Ugh, ugh.
62
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,283
- [chuckles]
- Damn it.
63
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:06,720
Don't need to take a whiz.
Nope, no thank you.
64
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,155
[chuckles]
65
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:11,225
Hm, mm, yeah, hm, mm.
66
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:15,896
Beavis, it's been two days.
I've peed 31 times.
67
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,331
Yeah, well,
I tricked you, butthole!
68
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:20,100
I will never have to pee
because when you were asleep,
69
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:23,003
I put a chip clip on my wiener!
[chuckles]
70
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:24,305
Yeah, I win!
71
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:26,440
I finally beat you
at something, yeah!
72
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:27,408
[guts pop]
73
00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:29,877
[screams]
Ah, my kidneys!
74
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,712
[coughing]
[screams]
75
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,454
Ah, that's better.
[chuckles]
76
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,058
Both of this man's kidneys
popped like balloons.
77
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,627
I've never seen
anything like it.
78
00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,796
If he doesn't get
a transplant immediately,
79
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:49,863
he'll die.
80
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,699
[slurping]
81
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:54,635
Uh, okay.
[chuckles]
82
00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:00,508
What's your pain level
on a scale of one to ten?
83
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,777
Ugh, oh...
84
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,079
69.
85
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:08,982
[both chuckle]
86
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,418
That's very high.
87
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:11,919
If we can't find
a kidney donor match
88
00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,288
for him soon, we're going
to have to send him to hospice.
89
00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,590
[groaning]
[coughs]
90
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,392
Yes?
91
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,761
You said piss.
[coughs]
92
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:22,863
- [chuckles]
- Oh, ah.
93
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:26,300
That's right, buddy, I did.
Hang in there.
94
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,701
Would you like to be tested
95
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,737
to see if you can donate
your kidney to your friend?
96
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,739
Uh, no.
97
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:35,008
We found a match.
98
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:36,910
There's only one
in the entire state,
99
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:40,548
and, by God, we found him.
- Is he willing to donate?
100
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,750
He drove himself two hours
to get here,
101
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,686
and he says he wants to help
Mr. Beavis any way he can.
102
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:48,422
In fact, he says he knows
the both of you.
103
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:52,092
Hey, guys, it's me Stewart.
Remember me?
104
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,428
Uh, no.
105
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:57,631
Stewart, your best buddy
from high school.
106
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,468
Oh, yeah.
[chuckles]
107
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,936
That sucks.
[chuckles]
108
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,372
[laughs]
You guys.
109
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,540
The three amigos are back!
110
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,776
Jesus Christ, Stewart,
not now.
111
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,378
I'm waiting for some guy
both of us know
112
00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:11,779
to give me a kidney.
113
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:15,115
- No, this is your donor.
- [chuckles]
114
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:17,785
A part of Stewart
is going inside you.
115
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,520
[chuckles]
- Oh, no.
116
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:20,754
Oh.
117
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,159
[laughs]
Oh, boy.
118
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,728
The three of us
used to have some fun together,
119
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:30,931
didn't we?
- Uh, no.
120
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,467
You know, I was worried
about donating a kidney
121
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:36,236
'cause I'm still young,
and I've got the triplets,
122
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:39,973
but I'm gonna do it because
we were such good friends.
123
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,709
[clears throat]
[coughs]
124
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:45,212
Um, we weren't friends.
[coughs weakly]
125
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:48,181
Aww, you guys.
Nothing's changed.
126
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,651
Though I know if the situation
were reversed,
127
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,353
you'd do it for me.
- Wait, wait.
128
00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:55,589
I don't have to do something
for you, do I?
129
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:58,559
- Well, no.
- Oh, good, good, good.
130
00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:00,093
That's better.
[chuckles]
131
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,699
Beavis, if this is
the last time I talk to you,
132
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,901
I want you to know...
133
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:10,638
I did your mom.
[chuckles]
134
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,272
[grumbling]
Yeah, yeah.
135
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:16,610
Um, Butt-Head, I don't want
a part of Stewart in me.
136
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:19,513
Look at him.
What if I start to suck?
137
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,815
[chuckles]
I'm scared.
138
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,216
Hey, um, you know what?
139
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,985
I'm beginning
to have second thoughts
140
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,754
about this whole--
- Okay, shh.
141
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:29,590
Count backwards from ten.
- Hey, hey, um, um--
142
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:31,091
[snores]
143
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,393
And now you count backwards
from ten.
144
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:37,330
Ten, um, eight or something,
145
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:41,268
five, I don't know, W.
146
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,937
I am the great Cornholio.
[chuckles]
147
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,474
TP.
Yes, yes, TP.
148
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:47,908
♪ ♪
149
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,276
[Tyler, The Creator's
"See You Again"]
150
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:50,578
* You live
in my dream state ♪
151
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,680
Um, is this
Tyler, The Creator?
152
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,682
[chuckles]
- Uh, yeah.
153
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,216
[chuckles]
154
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:57,785
I mean,
he's cool and everything,
155
00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,320
but, um, he kind of needs
a better name, you know?
156
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:01,889
[chuckles]
157
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,057
If I was gonna be
one of these guys,
158
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:07,127
I'd be, like,
Butt-Head, The Scorer.
159
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,029
[both chuckling]
160
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,832
I'd be Beavis, The Mutilator. Yeah.
161
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,200
[chuckles]
162
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,803
You'd be Beavis,
The Monkey Spanker.
163
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:18,205
[chuckles]
164
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,540
I guess it has a nice ring
to it.
165
00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:20,941
[chuckles]
166
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,843
It's not my first choice,
you know, but, uh...
167
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:25,278
* Can I get a kiss? ♪
168
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:27,147
♪ And can you make it
last forever? ♪
169
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:30,317
If I was stranded
on a lifeboat with that girl,
170
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:34,087
I'd be like, "Hey, baby,
you ever do it on a boat
171
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,557
with three dudes
in raincoats masturbating?"
172
00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:39,593
[laughs]
173
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:43,296
Yeah, make that four.
[giggles]
174
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,332
Damn it, Beavis.
[chuckles]
175
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,467
You're messing up
my flow again.
176
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:49,402
* Okay, okay, okay,
okay dokey ♪
177
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,472
What country's army is this?
[chuckles]
178
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,341
I think it's, like, Europe.
179
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,644
[chuckles]
180
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:59,613
Tyler, The Creator's
gonna overthrow America.
181
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,314
[chuckles]
182
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,551
Yeah, I think he should
overthrow America, you know?
183
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:06,319
Because he's got a lot
of good ideas, you know,
184
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,956
and he's not like these
other politicians, you know?
185
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,924
He tells it like it is,
you know?
186
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,460
And he's concerned
about my tax dollars,
187
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:16,797
and he says all the things
that everyone else is afraid
188
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,532
to say, you know?
[chuckles]
189
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:21,769
Whoa, he's stepping
on the army's heads.
190
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:22,936
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
191
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,437
All these politicians,
192
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,339
they don't have the guts
to step on people's heads.
193
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:29,543
And all these fat cats
in Washington
194
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:33,681
and these companies
in bed with the corporations
195
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,850
and the councils
of representatives.
196
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,752
[chuckles]
197
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,087
He's in bed with chicks.
198
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,655
Yeah.
[chuckles]
199
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,123
Yeah.
[chuckles]
200
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:46,293
He'll drain the swamp.
201
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,796
Yeah, then he'll drain
the main vein.
202
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,497
[chuckles]
203
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,199
See, he's just like us.
204
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,968
He puts on a Charlie Brown
ghost outfit, you know?
205
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,237
And see,
now he's turning into bees,
206
00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:58,471
you know?
Just like us.
207
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,707
[chuckles]
208
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:03,243
Like a working man do.
[chuckles]
209
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:05,779
Uh, so you'd vote
for this guy?
210
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,480
No, no, no.
211
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,983
No, I'm not gonna vote.
No, no.
212
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,285
It seems like a big hassle,
you know?
213
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,921
You know, I always say...
[chuckles]
214
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:15,789
"Don't blame me,
I didn't vote."
215
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,124
[chuckles]
216
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,860
I don't know
why I was so worried.
217
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:23,396
The operation was a success,
and now we're not just friends.
218
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,399
We're blood brothers.
- This sucks.
219
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:29,402
I think that's worth a little
dialysis here and there, huh?
220
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,238
I would toast
to the three amigos,
221
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,040
but Beavis and I
can't have alcohol
222
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,975
because of our kidney,
so Butt-head,
223
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,110
you'll have to have
an extra glass for us.
224
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,046
[chuckles
- Oh, God.
225
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,948
Anyway,
after I left Highland,
226
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:43,116
I kind of bounced around
for, like, six years,
227
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,451
but now I'm doing great.
228
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,953
You are looking
at junior administrator
229
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,921
at Basco Mortgage.
You guys heard of it?
230
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,222
Mm-hmm, yeah.
231
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,291
Well, next time you want
to buy a house,
232
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,860
I can get you
half a point below prime.
233
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,027
[bottle pops]
234
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,328
I mean, I gotta ask
Mr. Basco first,
235
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:56,930
but he's cool.
He totally--
236
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,332
Uh, yeah, no.
No, no, no, no.
237
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:02,002
Amigo, oh, uh, hey,
you can't do that, Beavis.
238
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:03,837
The alcohol will mess up my--
hey, stop it.
239
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,639
That's my kidney in there.
240
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:06,807
[sighs]
Yeah.
241
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,709
[guts pop]
Ow!
242
00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:10,077
Finally.
[chuckles]
243
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,813
That kidney sucked.
[chuckles]
244
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,215
Well, here you go.
245
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,284
I don't need
this chip clip anymore.
246
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,618
[sighs]
247
00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:21,021
- That was my kidney.
- Your organ blew up.
248
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,455
[both chuckling]
249
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:25,292
- Yeah.
- Uh, another bottle, sir.
250
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,860
The guy who sucks is paying.
251
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,528
Yeah, yeah.
[chuckles]
252
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:31,164
Hey, Stewart, do you know
anyone cool who has a kidney?
253
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:34,534
[rock music]
254
00:10:34,584 --> 00:10:39,134
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