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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,608 --> 00:00:09,476 [theme music] 2 00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:12,812 ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show." 3 00:00:12,912 --> 00:00:22,188 Starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Larry 4 00:00:22,288 --> 00:00:25,225 Matthews, and Mary Tyler Moore. 5 00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:35,035 LAURA: Millie, I thought it out very, very carefully. 6 00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:36,403 And I know my husband. 7 00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:39,038 He may be smart and bright, but like all men, 8 00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:41,674 he can be deceived. 9 00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:45,078 Well, I couldn't do this to my Jerry without his finding out. 10 00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:46,079 You ever tried? 11 00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:47,881 Well I've thought about it. 12 00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:50,050 But I don't know, I could never go through with it. 13 00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:51,384 How about you? 14 00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:53,119 Once, about three years after we were married. 15 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:55,422 But Rob suspected something, so I dropped it. 16 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:58,324 Millie, I know I can get away with it if you help me. 17 00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:00,760 Listen, I'll be a regular Liza Bentley. 18 00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:02,962 LAURA: Who's Liza Bentley? 19 00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:05,331 Well she was my first best girlfriend. 20 00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:07,700 I had two steady boyfriends once, 21 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,703 and she kept my secret even though one of my boyfriends 22 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,238 was her own brother. 23 00:01:12,338 --> 00:01:14,407 LAURA: Well this is a little different. 24 00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:18,978 MILLIE: Yeah, deceiving a husband is much more ticklish. 25 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,114 If I were you, I'd stop right now. 26 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:23,183 LAURA: I can't, it's like an obsession now. 27 00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:24,884 [thud] - Well, you better-- 28 00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:26,152 Shh, what was that? 29 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,094 Oh, hi Darling. 30 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,697 You're home very early, aren't you? 31 00:01:37,797 --> 00:01:38,832 MILLIE: Hi Rob! 32 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,333 Millie. 33 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:43,002 Well, I was just going. 34 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,504 Well don't go on my account Mil. 35 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,239 Well, we were just chatting. 36 00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:47,640 Well, go ahead and chat. 37 00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:49,676 I haven't heard girls chat for a long time. 38 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:50,810 Chat. 39 00:01:50,910 --> 00:01:52,846 No, Millie and I will demonstrate our chatting 40 00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:53,980 technique some other time. 41 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:54,881 Goodbye Millie. 42 00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,316 Goodbye Laura. 43 00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:03,590 Well, it certainly is nice to have you home early. 44 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:04,958 Is it? 45 00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:06,860 Darling, are you all right? 46 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:07,794 Yeah, I'm just fine. 47 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:08,995 Why do you ask? 48 00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:10,163 Well, I know it sounds kind of silly, 49 00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:13,566 but your lips were very cold. 50 00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:15,668 My lips are regular lip temperature. 51 00:02:15,768 --> 00:02:18,972 It be your lips are running a fever. 52 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:21,307 Rob, are you sure you're all right? 53 00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:23,409 I mean, did something happen down at the office? 54 00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:24,811 Yes. 55 00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:26,746 Something is always happening while I'm down at the office. 56 00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:29,282 I'm going to lie down for a little while. 57 00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:40,927 Millie, I think Rob suspects something. 58 00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:43,396 Well, because he's been acting very strangely ever 59 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,632 since he got home last night. 60 00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:49,502 Now I'm beginning to feel sorry I started this whole thing. 61 00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:50,970 Well no, I can't stop now. 62 00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:54,407 I wish I could, but I've gone too far with it already. 63 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,042 Well no, I don't know he knows. 64 00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:58,111 I just think he knows. 65 00:02:58,211 --> 00:02:59,479 Yeah, you may be right. 66 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:02,081 Might just be my imagination. 67 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,850 Gee Millie, I hope this is worth it. 68 00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:06,119 I mean to go through all this deception just 69 00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:08,154 for a few fleeting moments of excitement. 70 00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:09,389 I don't know. 71 00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:15,228 Boy, I tell you, the hardest thing in the world 72 00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:17,664 is to give a surprise birthday party. 73 00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:21,901 Why am I doing it? 74 00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:24,337 Well because Millie, almost anything else I've give him 75 00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:26,873 would wear out or get thrown away eventually. 76 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:30,243 And if I can pull this off, I'll be giving Rob something that'll 77 00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:33,012 last him a long, long time. 78 00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:36,649 No Millie, not indigestion. 79 00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:38,384 Memories. 80 00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:39,852 All right, shoot me. 81 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,721 I'm a sentimentalist. 82 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:42,822 Yeah. 83 00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:44,224 Well listen Millie, I better hang up now. 84 00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:46,859 Rob's liable to pop in any moment. 85 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:47,927 Good bye. 86 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,132 Rob! 87 00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:54,667 Rob, Darling! 88 00:03:54,767 --> 00:03:56,102 You'd better hurry if you're going to be at work on time. 89 00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:57,337 ROB: I'm coming! 90 00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:02,308 [yawn] 91 00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:09,616 Oh, boy. 92 00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,985 I must have really been tired last night. 93 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,052 How are you this morning, honey? 94 00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:14,253 Fine, how are you? 95 00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:15,288 Fine, what's for breakfast? 96 00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:16,789 Well, what's your pleasure? 97 00:04:16,889 --> 00:04:18,157 Oh, let's see. 98 00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:22,161 Toast, scrambled, orange juice, cold cereal, and a warm hug. 99 00:04:22,261 --> 00:04:24,330 Well, here's the warm hug. 100 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,999 Your juice and coffee are on the table. 101 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,233 The scrambleds are in preparation. 102 00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:30,670 Get the cereal yourself please. 103 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,739 Hey, honey? 104 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:36,309 I'd like to apologize for being such poor company last night. 105 00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:37,877 Yeah, what was the matter with you anyway? 106 00:04:37,977 --> 00:04:38,845 Oh, nothing. 107 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:39,946 Just didn't feel too well. 108 00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:41,814 I think I had one of those 24 hour things. 109 00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:43,149 Feel great now. 110 00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,351 Mommy, can I have my hard boiled egg, 111 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:46,953 mayonnaise and garlic press? 112 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,389 Yeah, they're on the table and the mayonnaise is in the bowl. 113 00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:50,990 But how about a good morning first? 114 00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:52,592 Oh yeah, good morning first. 115 00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:58,297 Hard boiled egg, mayonnaise, and a garlic press? 116 00:04:58,398 --> 00:04:59,265 Yeah, it's real neat. 117 00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:00,199 Watch, Daddy. 118 00:05:00,299 --> 00:05:03,269 I am watching. 119 00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,038 Where did you learn this trick? 120 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,339 In school. 121 00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:07,974 Our teacher showed us how to do it. 122 00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:11,811 And I thought you weren't learning anything. 123 00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:12,845 Want to do one Daddy? 124 00:05:12,945 --> 00:05:14,047 Oh, yeah. 125 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,617 I've always enjoyed science and experimentation. 126 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:20,353 [inaudible] make chopped eggs. 127 00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:22,088 Is that what we're making? Chopped eggs? 128 00:05:22,188 --> 00:05:23,122 Uh huh. 129 00:05:23,222 --> 00:05:24,323 Here, Daddy, want to taste it? 130 00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:25,925 Yeah. 131 00:05:26,025 --> 00:05:27,393 Just for science, anyway. 132 00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:32,732 That's delicious. 133 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,500 Honey, hold my scrambled and make them hard boiled. 134 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:35,702 It's a little too late dear. 135 00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:36,602 Maybe tomorrow. 136 00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:37,904 You like this Daddy? 137 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,172 I love them, Ritch. 138 00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:41,908 Good, now I know what to get you for your birthday. 139 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,409 Chopped eggs. 140 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,178 My birthday? 141 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,547 Ritch, Darling, how about some milk? 142 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:48,848 I already have some. 143 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:50,516 LAURA: Oh, so you have. 144 00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:53,286 Honey, have I got another birthday coming up here again? 145 00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:54,620 Why, yes. 146 00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:56,923 Yes you do, come to think of it. 147 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,458 ROB: But what day is it? 148 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,026 Oh, gee, Darling. 149 00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:01,694 I'm really not sure. 150 00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:05,264 You have read trickle around Saturday on the calendar. 151 00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:07,934 It says Rob's birthday. 152 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,235 Is that what it is? 153 00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:11,037 I always make these little notes 154 00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,538 and then forget to look at them. 155 00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:16,809 Thanks for reminding me Ritch. 156 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:21,514 Honey, you buy anything for my birthday? 157 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,316 None of your business. 158 00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,685 Well, if I guess, will you tell me? 159 00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:26,919 No. 160 00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:30,223 Planning any kind of a dinner or party or anything? 161 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,725 Why do you say that? 162 00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:34,494 Honey, I don't want a cup and a half. 163 00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:38,331 That only works on television. 164 00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:41,634 I said are you planning any kind of a dinner or anything for me? 165 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,970 Well of course I'm planning some kind of a dinner 166 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,204 for you Darling. 167 00:06:45,304 --> 00:06:46,773 Don't think I'd let you go hungry on your birthday, 168 00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:47,473 do you? 169 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:48,808 Well, you never have. 170 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,610 No, well, as a matter of fact, I thought maybe 171 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,979 we'd three of us have a little cake for lunch, 172 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,715 and then maybe in the evening we'd call Buddy, and Sally, 173 00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:57,850 and Billy, and Jerry, and maybe go out to some nice restaurant. 174 00:06:57,950 --> 00:06:59,385 - Would you like that? - Well, yeah. 175 00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:01,654 I'd like that even if it wasn't my birthday. 176 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,189 OK, we'll plan on that then. 177 00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:04,657 You want me to ask Buddy and Sally? 178 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,058 No. 179 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,060 I mean, wouldn't look right for you to invite them, would it? 180 00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:09,262 Well, I don't know. Why? 181 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:10,363 Well it would look like you were 182 00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:11,664 giving yourself a testimonial. 183 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,833 Oh, yeah, that's true. 184 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:17,036 OK, I'll leave all the details up to you, Honey. 185 00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,372 I'll just pretend like I don't know anything about it. 186 00:07:19,472 --> 00:07:20,573 If you two don't hurry, you're going 187 00:07:20,673 --> 00:07:21,841 to be late for work and school. 188 00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:24,510 Oh, I don't want to be late for school. 189 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,779 We got a new teacher who hollers. 190 00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:27,880 Bye Daddy. 191 00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:28,815 Bye Ritch. 192 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:29,515 Bye Mommy. 193 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:30,650 LAURA: Bye. 194 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,351 I better hurry up too. 195 00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:33,886 I got an old boss who hollers. 196 00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:38,024 Coffee. 197 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,058 Bye Honey. 198 00:08:00,112 --> 00:08:01,514 Millie? 199 00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,282 Rob knows. 200 00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:04,884 Well, because just now at breakfast, 201 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:08,554 he said are you planning some kind of a dinner party for me. 202 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,789 Oh, that man. 203 00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:11,724 Why does he have to be so smart? 204 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,926 Well, I don't see how I can now. 205 00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:15,228 He knows. 206 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,696 Oh, that's true. 207 00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:19,031 He doesn't know what kind of party it's going to be. 208 00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:20,933 Yeah, well I told him I'd ask you and Jerry, 209 00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:23,169 and then I'd talk to Buddy and Sally. 210 00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:25,304 Yeah, well I'll call Buddy and Sally at home now, 211 00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:27,940 and then I'll call them at the office later when he's there. 212 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,276 We'll outsmart that smart aleck yet. 213 00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:31,310 Bye Millie. 214 00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:06,846 Hello, Sally? 215 00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:08,147 Laura. 216 00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:09,148 Listen. 217 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,519 - You go. - OK. 218 00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:14,854 Coffee buddy? 219 00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,355 Yeah, I'm on a special hard boiled egg diet. 220 00:09:16,455 --> 00:09:17,490 Black for you Sal? 221 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,058 Yeah, and listen, if they have any 222 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:21,294 of almond paste sweet rolls with the honey nuts and raisins 223 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,528 on top, grab one for me. 224 00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,130 Yeah, grab two for me. 225 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,399 I thought you said you were on a special hard boiled egg diet. 226 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:27,633 I am. 227 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:28,668 I can eat anything I want as long as I 228 00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:30,436 eat a hard boiled egg with it. 229 00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:31,604 That's why it's-- 230 00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:33,539 ALL: A special hard boiled egg diet. 231 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:35,775 Hey, don't talk about me while I'm gone. 232 00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:40,980 Why do you suppose he said that? 233 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,683 Maybe he just don't want us to talk about him while he's gone. 234 00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,085 Well how'd he know we were going to? 235 00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:47,219 Are we? 236 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,155 Didn't Laura call you up this morning at home? 237 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,456 No, why? 238 00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:51,824 Well she called me and she said she was going to call 239 00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,225 you right after we hung up. 240 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,027 Oh, maybe she called right after I ducked out. 241 00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:56,529 You know, got out in a hurry today. 242 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:57,797 My mother-in-law is spending a month with us 243 00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,398 for a couple of days. 244 00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:01,500 Now did you know that Rob is having a birthday this weekend? 245 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,103 Seems to me like he just had a birthday about a year ago. 246 00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:05,538 Same time. 247 00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,073 Most people do. 248 00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,207 Oh yeah? 249 00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,942 So how come you haven't had a birthday since-- 250 00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:16,849 That's because I only announce them once every other year. 251 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:17,850 Listen. 252 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,051 What do you think Laura called for? 253 00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:20,286 Do you think she's going to give Rob 254 00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:21,053 a surprise party or something? 255 00:10:21,153 --> 00:10:22,121 How'd you know? 256 00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:23,489 Well she wouldn't just call you up to have 257 00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:24,423 you go buy him a present. 258 00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:25,691 Well, that's true. 259 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:27,460 Ah, she'll never pull it off. 260 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:28,995 Oh, why do you say that? 261 00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:30,930 Well look, I knew right away, and I didn't go to college 262 00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,131 like Rob. 263 00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:33,599 Yeah, well Laura knows Rob better than you and I, 264 00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:34,934 and she thinks she can do it. 265 00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,103 And besides, she's got a pretty original plan. 266 00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:38,004 Yeah, what is it? 267 00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:39,338 Now look. 268 00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:40,973 Laura's going to call us both here while Rob is with us. 269 00:10:41,073 --> 00:10:42,875 And she's going to invite us to this dinner party. 270 00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:43,609 See? 271 00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:44,944 Oh, and then we accept. 272 00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:46,412 And instead of it being a small dinner party, 273 00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:47,580 is a big surprise party. 274 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:48,547 Not a bad idea. 275 00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:50,449 Yeah, but that's not it. 276 00:10:50,549 --> 00:10:52,051 What, it's a good idea? 277 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,486 Yeah, well Laura's is better. 278 00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:54,820 Now look. 279 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,355 When she calls us here to invite us, one of us 280 00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:57,356 says we can't make it. 281 00:10:57,456 --> 00:10:58,824 Why? 282 00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:01,594 Because she says Rob suspects it's a surprise party. 283 00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:03,129 But he won't suspect if he knows she 284 00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:05,231 tried to arrange a plain dinner and couldn't 285 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,165 get all the people. 286 00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:07,066 See? 287 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,300 I don't know. 288 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:09,602 Let me think about it. 289 00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:11,404 You sure this isn't a surprise party for me? 290 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,438 No. 291 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,441 Now look. 292 00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:17,343 When Laura calls, you tell her you can make it, 293 00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:19,378 and I'll say I can't. 294 00:11:19,478 --> 00:11:20,546 I can make it but you can't. 295 00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:21,680 Yeah, good. Right. 296 00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:22,581 Yeah, but wait a minute. 297 00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:23,549 What if you get a call-- 298 00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:25,117 OK, come and get it. 299 00:11:25,217 --> 00:11:25,885 Oh. 300 00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:27,253 BUDDY: Oh boy, I'm hungry. 301 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,555 There was only one honey nut roll for Sally. 302 00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:31,190 Oh, thank you Ron. 303 00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:32,358 Yeah, there's yours. 304 00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:33,559 And what do you want? 305 00:11:33,659 --> 00:11:34,694 Do you want a bear claw or a bow tie? 306 00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:36,195 Well, I'd rather have a rabbit's 307 00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:39,365 foot and a pair of pants, but I'll take the bear claw. 308 00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:42,334 Well, what did you guys do while I was gone. 309 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:43,369 Well, let's see. 310 00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:46,939 I built a steam locomotive. 311 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,774 Sally knitted a tarpaulin for the infield 312 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:50,276 at the Yankee Stadium. 313 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,411 I was kind of hoping you guys discussed some opening 314 00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:53,746 jokes for this week's show. 315 00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:56,515 You know we only work when we're threatened. 316 00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:58,350 What you have in mind for Alan? 317 00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,052 Well I was thinking maybe it would be funny 318 00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:02,288 if Alan told some jokes about how his wife was 319 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,390 trying to plan a surprise party for him, 320 00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:05,891 but he knew all about it. 321 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,162 What-- what made you think of that? 322 00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:12,364 Because Laura is in the process of doing 323 00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:13,466 the same thing right now. 324 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:14,500 And it's pretty funny. 325 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,935 Yeah, how do you know? 326 00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:18,270 Well, deductive reasoning and knowledge of the way 327 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:19,705 my wife's mind works. 328 00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:21,140 And a little accidental eavesdropping. 329 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:21,907 Accidental? 330 00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:23,042 Well, for the most part. 331 00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:24,110 Yeah. 332 00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:26,112 I came home last night and overheard she 333 00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:27,179 and Millie talking about it. 334 00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:28,414 And then I heard her on the phone 335 00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:29,815 this morning talking about it. 336 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,650 Hey, she was going to call you two guys at home. 337 00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:32,852 Did she? - Didn't call me? 338 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:35,254 Well, she called me and said she'd 339 00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:37,823 like to have a plain dinner like Saturday or Sunday, 340 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,091 and she'd call me right back. 341 00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:40,726 But she didn't say anything about keeping 342 00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:41,660 it a secret from you. 343 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:42,595 She didn't? 344 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:43,796 No. 345 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:50,569 Oh, she's a cute one. 346 00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:51,637 I know just what she's doing. 347 00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:53,272 Well, I'm sure glad you do. 348 00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:54,473 Because I don't. 349 00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:56,475 [phone ringing] 350 00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:57,376 Hello. 351 00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:58,744 Oh, hi Laura! 352 00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,679 Yeah, we were just talking about that. 353 00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:03,883 Well, have you decided when you'd like to give the dinner? 354 00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:06,418 Oh, well why not Sunday? 355 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,521 Well it's just that I have these two tickets to a play 356 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,589 Saturday night and the-- 357 00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:11,891 no, I can't. 358 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:13,192 My Aunt Agnes is coming in from Connecticut, 359 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,793 and she's been looking forward to this outing 360 00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:16,795 for a month and a half. 361 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,531 Oh, what a shame. 362 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,968 Well look, can't Millie and Jerry change their appointment? 363 00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:24,303 Well, maybe next year. 364 00:13:24,403 --> 00:13:25,237 Huh? 365 00:13:25,337 --> 00:13:26,038 Yeah, he's here. 366 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:27,573 Yeah, I'll put him on. 367 00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:28,541 Not you, Smiley. 368 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,477 She wants Buddy. 369 00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:32,745 Hey, hey, I forgot. 370 00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:33,879 What am I supposed to say? 371 00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:34,814 Say yes. 372 00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:36,048 Yes! 373 00:13:39,618 --> 00:13:40,519 Saturday night? 374 00:13:40,619 --> 00:13:41,720 Oh, sure. 375 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:42,755 There's no reason why Pickles and me 376 00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:43,656 can't be there Saturday night. 377 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:44,657 Yeah, where? 378 00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:45,558 Yeah. 379 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:46,926 Yeah. 380 00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:48,427 Hey Laura, Rob is here. 381 00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:53,232 Oh, you knew it, huh? 382 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,034 Rob, somebody wants to talk to you. 383 00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:56,602 Wants to invite you for dinner. 384 00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:57,736 I think. 385 00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:58,737 I think it's your wife. 386 00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:00,339 Oh, my wife! 387 00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:01,774 Is that who you two guys have been talking to all this time? 388 00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:02,708 Yeah. 389 00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:03,976 Hi Honey. 390 00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:04,977 Yeah, I heard that. 391 00:14:05,077 --> 00:14:06,445 It's a shame Sal can't come. 392 00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:08,747 Well, we'll just suffer along with three couples then, 393 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:09,748 I guess. 394 00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:10,783 Mel? 395 00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:12,451 I don't know, did you ask him? 396 00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:14,286 Oh, you want me to ask him? 397 00:14:14,386 --> 00:14:15,321 Sure. 398 00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:16,589 Saturday night. 399 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,290 OK. Yeah, no. 400 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:18,991 I won't forget. 401 00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:20,259 I'll ask Mel. 402 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:22,561 OK, goodbye. 403 00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:24,797 Still think Laura is planning a surprise party? 404 00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:26,131 Oh, isn't she? 405 00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:28,367 Rob, if she were planning a surprise party, 406 00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:30,469 she certainly wouldn't let you hear her inviting everybody. 407 00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:32,504 Yeah, and she wouldn't have you inviting Mel. 408 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,707 No, that's just exactly what she would do. 409 00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,308 You see, what she's doing in chess 410 00:14:36,408 --> 00:14:37,977 is called the double reverse half 411 00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:41,013 truth check your mate gambit. 412 00:14:41,113 --> 00:14:42,948 I'm going to play right along with her and let her check 413 00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:44,083 her mate. That's all. 414 00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:47,353 Well, you may be right Sebastian. 415 00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:48,988 But I think she's employing the old 416 00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:50,556 I tried to give him a surprise party 417 00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:53,292 but the rat found out about it, so I changed my plans bit. 418 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,027 I don't know which one you guys is right, 419 00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:59,398 but there's a free meal in there some place, and I'm going. 420 00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:00,499 Marge? 421 00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:02,468 Would you please ask Mr. Coolidge to step in here 422 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,402 for just a moment Please? 423 00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:04,503 Oh, this is going to be a thrill. 424 00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:06,305 ROB: Thank you. 425 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,640 Yeah. 426 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,709 If my thinking is correct, when I invite Mel to the party 427 00:15:10,809 --> 00:15:14,913 he will either accept or decline. 428 00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:16,348 Brilliant deduction. 429 00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:19,285 Depending on what my wife instructed him to say. 430 00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:21,453 Now she instructed you to say yes, didn't she? 431 00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:22,388 No. 432 00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:23,389 Sally did. 433 00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,327 Rob. 434 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,296 Do you think that Laura arranged for me and Aunt Agnes 435 00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:31,864 to go see a play that night. 436 00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:33,799 Oh, you guys are doing a good job. 437 00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:35,367 Keep it up. 438 00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:38,771 Now, if my guess is correct, Mel has been instructed by Laura 439 00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,506 to say that he can't make it. 440 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:41,440 Yeah. 441 00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:42,808 Why? 442 00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:44,376 Well because only two couples have accepted to the party. 443 00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:45,744 See? 444 00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:47,279 That will make it seem much more like just a casual dinner 445 00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:48,614 than a big surprise party. 446 00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,582 Oh, thank you, Sherlock Holmes. 447 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,651 Now what do you think Mel is going to use for an excuse? 448 00:15:52,751 --> 00:15:55,220 Well, something completely irreversible like two expensive 449 00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:57,589 tickets to a Broadway show, or maybe a command 450 00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,191 dinner party at Alan Brady's. 451 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:00,592 Do you want to see me Rob? 452 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:01,994 I've only got a second. 453 00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:03,996 A second with you is like a year with an ugly mob. 454 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,501 Mel. 455 00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:11,303 I just wanted to ask you if you and your wife 456 00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:13,505 could come to our house for a dinner party on Saturday night. 457 00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:14,707 Sure, we'd love to. 458 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,442 SALLY: Well, there you [inaudible] 459 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:19,611 There goes your double reverse checkmate Sebastian. 460 00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,046 You mean you can join us? 461 00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,915 Well sure. 462 00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:25,217 Oh, I hope you don't mean this Saturday. 463 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,219 Why, you have something planned 464 00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:28,387 for this Saturday night, huh? 465 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:29,388 Oh yes. 466 00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:30,589 Alan Brady is expecting us for dinner. 467 00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:31,757 Oh, yeah. 468 00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:32,658 Well can't you-- could you make off? 469 00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:33,992 Oh, I'd love to Rob. 470 00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:35,728 But he wants to go to the concert afterward. 471 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,163 He used both excuses. 472 00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:39,932 Well it's all right Mel. 473 00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,133 I understand perfectly. 474 00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:42,568 What's the occasion? 475 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:43,669 Oh, it's my wife. 476 00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:44,970 She thinks my birthday should be celebrated 477 00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:46,038 like a national holiday. 478 00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:48,207 Your birthday? 479 00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:49,608 Oh, what a shame. 480 00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:51,243 Gee, I'd love to be there. 481 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:52,611 Well it's all right, Mel. 482 00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:53,779 I'll tell you what. 483 00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:55,280 If your plans change and you want 484 00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:56,281 to come at the last minute, you're perfectly welcome. 485 00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:57,883 Oh, fine. Thanks Rob. 486 00:16:57,983 --> 00:16:59,184 Well, I've got to run now. - OK. 487 00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:01,120 That's the best news since Armistice Day. 488 00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:08,293 Well kids, have I got my wife figured out, or haven't I? 489 00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:10,029 Well, it sure looks like you do. 490 00:17:10,129 --> 00:17:11,597 Hey, would you explain it to me? 491 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,199 Only slowly, so I'll know if I'm supposed to yell surprise. 492 00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:16,235 Yeah, you are supposed to yell surprise. 493 00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:18,270 See, everybody who has said they can't make it to my house 494 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,706 Saturday night is going to make it to my house Saturday night. 495 00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:21,607 Right Sal? 496 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,575 Rob, look. 497 00:17:23,675 --> 00:17:24,910 See these two tickets? 498 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:26,044 Eighth row center. 499 00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:27,212 And come Saturday night, I'm going 500 00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:28,380 to be sitting in one of them. 501 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,715 Surprised! 502 00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:31,683 Look, are you sure those don't belong to your Aunt Agnes? 503 00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:32,851 Both of them? 504 00:17:32,951 --> 00:17:33,952 Rob, my Aunt Agnes has more trouble 505 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,021 getting a date than I have. 506 00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:37,656 I don't believe any of you guys. 507 00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:39,625 I got a surprise party coming Saturday night. 508 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,627 I know it, you know it, we all know it. 509 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,095 So let's not spend any more time on it. 510 00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:43,996 Shall we? 511 00:17:44,096 --> 00:17:45,030 Oh, by the way. 512 00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,331 One thing I would appreciate. 513 00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:47,599 Don't tell Laura that I know all about it. 514 00:17:47,699 --> 00:17:49,168 I don't know what you're talking about. 515 00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:52,071 Neither do I. All right, we won't tell Laura. 516 00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,439 Now what are you going to do for us? 517 00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:55,474 All right, when you jump out and say surprise, 518 00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,443 I will react and be probably surprised. 519 00:17:57,543 --> 00:17:58,477 OK? 520 00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:11,356 Happy birthday, Darling. 521 00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:12,291 What? 522 00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:13,225 Huh? 523 00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:14,560 I said happy birthday, Darling. 524 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:17,029 And here is the second in a series of surprises 525 00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:18,163 I have prepared for you. 526 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:19,932 Oh, thank you, Honey. 527 00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:21,500 This is just what I needed. 528 00:18:23,969 --> 00:18:27,039 Hey, no pith, no pits, no peel. 529 00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:28,740 Did you run this through a garlic press? 530 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:29,908 How'd you guess? 531 00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:31,110 That's what I thought. 532 00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:32,744 You know how good I am at guessing. 533 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,246 Yeah. 534 00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:35,914 You said second in a series of surprises. 535 00:18:36,014 --> 00:18:36,815 LAURA: Mhmm. 536 00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:37,850 What's the first one? 537 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,418 You got it. 538 00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:41,320 It's Saturday morning, and I let you sleep two extra hours. 539 00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:42,621 See? 540 00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:43,989 Ritchie's been bothering to come in all morning long. 541 00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:44,990 Where is he? 542 00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:46,191 He's with Millie and Jerry. 543 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,160 They have custody of him until noon. 544 00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:51,497 How about the third in a series of surprises? 545 00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:52,231 Thank you. 546 00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:53,832 You're welcome. 547 00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:56,435 Now sire, what do you desire for your royal birthday breakfast? 548 00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:59,037 Name it your majesty, and it is but yours. 549 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,840 I shall have lox and bagels. 550 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:03,709 Oh, with fresh cream cheese? 551 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:04,643 [phone ringing] 552 00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:05,711 ROB: I'll get it, Honey. 553 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:06,645 Uh, no! 554 00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:07,579 Darling, don't do that! 555 00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:08,881 I'll get it! 556 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,016 You go wash your royal face and brush your royal teeth 557 00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:11,950 your majesty. 558 00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:13,118 And hop to it please. 559 00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:14,920 Your wish is my command, grace baby. 560 00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:19,958 Hello? 561 00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:22,494 Oh, hi Sally. 562 00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:24,963 You can't come to the party? 563 00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:26,965 Oh. 564 00:19:27,065 --> 00:19:30,302 You mean you really can't make it? 565 00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:35,107 You mean you really, really can't make it? 566 00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:36,909 Oh, Sally. 567 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,411 Look, I know I must sound awfully mean asking you to come 568 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:40,979 all the way up here with a runny nose, 569 00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:45,184 but gee, it's not going to be much of a party without you. 570 00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:48,353 Well so far only Millie and Jerry. 571 00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:50,756 No, Joe and Sadie have a bar mitzvah tonight. 572 00:19:53,058 --> 00:19:56,094 Well, Mel said he'd try to make it up after the concert. 573 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:59,431 But we need people to yell surprise. 574 00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:00,732 Well. 575 00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:02,134 OK. 576 00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:04,736 Listen, Sally, if you're feeling any better by this afternoon, 577 00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:06,939 will you call me please? 578 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:07,906 OK. 579 00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:08,907 Bye bye. 580 00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:18,350 [grunting] 581 00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:20,986 Who was that, Honey? 582 00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:22,254 Sally. 583 00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:24,890 What'd she want? 584 00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,391 Oh, Rob. 585 00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:27,826 Sally has a cold! 586 00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:28,794 What? 587 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,630 I said Sally has a cold! 588 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,565 Honey! 589 00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:34,299 Don't cry. 590 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:35,467 Sally's a big girl. 591 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,668 She'll beat that cold. 592 00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:38,971 No Rob, you just don't understand. 593 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,072 I think I do, Honey. 594 00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:41,039 No, you don't. 595 00:20:41,139 --> 00:20:42,374 Honey, believe me, I do. 596 00:20:42,474 --> 00:20:44,810 No, you don't! 597 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:45,811 Honey. 598 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,546 Oh, Rob, do you know what I have gone 599 00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:49,748 through in the last few days? 600 00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:54,453 I have worked, and arranged, and called, and I don't know what. 601 00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:58,090 Just to give you a surprise birthday party. 602 00:20:58,190 --> 00:20:59,858 And everything fell through. 603 00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:03,595 Now you have to have a plain old stupid dinner party. 604 00:21:03,695 --> 00:21:04,830 Honey. 605 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,164 Honey, don't cry. 606 00:21:06,264 --> 00:21:07,733 Why shouldn't I cry? 607 00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:10,936 I have a perfectly honest and good reason to cry, 608 00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:12,104 and I'm going to cry. 609 00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:13,038 ? 610 00:21:13,138 --> 00:21:14,373 Oh, Honey. 611 00:21:14,473 --> 00:21:15,507 Honey, look. 612 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,309 If it'll make you feel any better, 613 00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:20,712 I'm glad that the surprise part of it fell out. 614 00:21:20,812 --> 00:21:22,114 Why? 615 00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,950 Because Honey, I just couldn't have look properly surprised. 616 00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:26,251 That's all. 617 00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:28,820 I've known what your plans were since Monday. 618 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,389 Oh, you couldn't have. 619 00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:31,556 Not really, no. 620 00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:33,725 Believe me, Honey, I did. 621 00:21:33,825 --> 00:21:34,926 How could you? 622 00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:36,294 I just did, Honey. 623 00:21:36,395 --> 00:21:37,329 What's the difference? 624 00:21:37,429 --> 00:21:39,197 Ask Buddy and Sally if I didn't. 625 00:21:39,297 --> 00:21:41,166 You knew everything? 626 00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:42,367 Yes, Honey. 627 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:43,935 I knew everything. 628 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:45,671 I've lived with you long enough to know how that little mind 629 00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:46,972 of yours works. 630 00:21:47,072 --> 00:21:51,310 You only knew what I wanted you to know. 631 00:21:51,410 --> 00:21:53,278 And how's that? 632 00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:56,081 Well I let you know I was planning 633 00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:57,582 a surprise birthday party. 634 00:21:57,683 --> 00:22:00,852 And my idea was to make it look like no one could come 635 00:22:00,952 --> 00:22:03,388 and then we'd go to a restaurant and have dinner. 636 00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:04,990 That's right and everybody would 637 00:22:05,090 --> 00:22:07,159 come to the restaurant at the dinner party and yell surprise. 638 00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:08,560 Honey, I hate to tell you, but I knew 639 00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:09,961 that was your plan all along. 640 00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:11,863 You're just saying that. 641 00:22:11,963 --> 00:22:13,098 No Honey, honest. 642 00:22:13,198 --> 00:22:14,232 And look. 643 00:22:14,332 --> 00:22:15,567 I want you to know that I'm just as 644 00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:17,536 appreciative and touched this way, maybe more, 645 00:22:17,636 --> 00:22:19,371 than if it had worked out. 646 00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:21,940 Thank you, Honey. 647 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:22,974 You're welcome. 648 00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:27,679 Boy, Rob. 649 00:22:27,779 --> 00:22:29,348 You just wait till next year. 650 00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:30,882 I'll surprise you on your birthday 651 00:22:30,982 --> 00:22:35,954 if I have to do it three months early. 652 00:22:36,054 --> 00:22:38,290 No, not three months early. 653 00:22:38,390 --> 00:22:39,324 Three months late. 654 00:22:39,424 --> 00:22:40,892 And that way you'd never guess. 655 00:22:40,992 --> 00:22:42,527 Why don't you just skip a year and then 656 00:22:42,627 --> 00:22:43,995 I'll forget my birthday? 657 00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:48,333 Or maybe I'll give you a surprise party right now. 658 00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:49,534 ALL: Surprise! 659 00:23:09,354 --> 00:23:10,889 Open my present first. 660 00:23:10,989 --> 00:23:12,724 That's a surprise and it's part of a surprise. 661 00:23:12,824 --> 00:23:14,025 The present. 662 00:23:14,126 --> 00:23:16,094 But listen, nothing more can surprise me after that. 663 00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:17,929 This is probably a tie, right? 664 00:23:18,029 --> 00:23:18,830 Just open it. 665 00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:20,732 What's this? 666 00:23:20,832 --> 00:23:24,469 A chauffeured limousine round trip ride from New Rochelle 667 00:23:24,569 --> 00:23:25,837 to New York? 668 00:23:25,937 --> 00:23:27,139 Hey, thanks Buddy. 669 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:28,106 It's what I've always wanted. 670 00:23:28,206 --> 00:23:29,074 Good. 671 00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:30,075 Here, open this one next. 672 00:23:30,175 --> 00:23:31,243 Boy, is that heavy. 673 00:23:31,343 --> 00:23:33,178 What's that? 674 00:23:33,278 --> 00:23:35,881 A roll of quarters. 675 00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:37,082 What is it? 676 00:23:37,182 --> 00:23:40,752 Change for the West Side Highway for the tollbooth. 677 00:23:40,852 --> 00:23:41,987 Thank you. 678 00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:43,421 I never have any change when I want it Jerry and Mil. 679 00:23:43,522 --> 00:23:44,489 I wish it could have been more. 680 00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:47,259 Yeah, so do I. 681 00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:48,493 Keep going, keep going. 682 00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:49,728 Here it is. This is the tie. 683 00:23:49,828 --> 00:23:51,229 Yeah, that's the tie. Go ahead. 684 00:23:51,329 --> 00:23:52,164 OK. What's this? 685 00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:53,231 Two tickets? 686 00:23:53,331 --> 00:23:55,167 To the biggest hit on Broadway. 687 00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:56,535 Eighth row center. 688 00:23:56,635 --> 00:23:57,836 I thought these belonged to your Aunt Agnes. 689 00:23:57,936 --> 00:23:59,504 So I lied. 690 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:02,440 Did you ever organize this right? 691 00:24:02,541 --> 00:24:03,875 How do you like that? 692 00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:05,811 A round trip chauffeured limousine from New Rochelle 693 00:24:05,911 --> 00:24:09,614 to New York and back, money for the tollbooth, 694 00:24:09,714 --> 00:24:11,750 and two tickets to a hit show. 695 00:24:11,850 --> 00:24:13,118 Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 696 00:24:13,218 --> 00:24:14,286 Wait a minute! One more. 697 00:24:14,386 --> 00:24:15,954 Oh, why thank you, Mel. 698 00:24:16,054 --> 00:24:17,222 What is-- Oh. 699 00:24:17,322 --> 00:24:18,156 Oh. 700 00:24:18,256 --> 00:24:20,125 Oh. 701 00:24:20,225 --> 00:24:21,026 I know. 702 00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:21,960 For my date. 703 00:24:22,060 --> 00:24:23,228 Thank you. 704 00:24:23,328 --> 00:24:24,162 Oh boy. 705 00:24:24,262 --> 00:24:25,430 Hey. 706 00:24:25,530 --> 00:24:26,932 Would you guys do one more thing for me? 707 00:24:27,032 --> 00:24:27,833 Sure. 708 00:24:27,933 --> 00:24:28,767 What? 709 00:24:28,867 --> 00:24:30,869 Sing For He's a Jolly Good Fellow. 710 00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:33,738 ALL (SINGING): For he's a jolly good fellow! 711 00:24:33,839 --> 00:24:35,474 For he's a jolly good fellow! 712 00:24:35,574 --> 00:24:39,211 For he's a jolly good fellow! 713 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:41,880 Which nobody can deny! 48676

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