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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:10,143 [theme music] 2 00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:13,213 ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show." 3 00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:22,389 Starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Larry 4 00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:25,425 Mathews, and Mary Tyler Moore. 5 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,366 There they are, folks-- 6 00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:35,668 Pancho Gonzalez and Helen Wills Moody. 7 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:39,706 Oh no. 8 00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:40,940 Oh boy. 9 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:41,975 This is going to be a productive day. 10 00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:42,842 I can just feel it. - Yeah. 11 00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:43,743 Buddy's right. 12 00:00:43,843 --> 00:00:44,778 Hey, come on, fellas. 13 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:45,912 What do you say we get to work? 14 00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:47,447 I got a very important "if date." 15 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:48,448 And "if date"? 16 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:49,582 Yeah. 17 00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:52,352 If he shows up and if he asks me, I got a date. 18 00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:53,353 Come on. 19 00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:54,687 Now, let's get to work. Now, come on. 20 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,022 Will you please? 21 00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:57,524 How about-- how about a husband and wife sketch? 22 00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,058 We haven't done one in a long time. 23 00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:00,660 I have nothing against those, but this time I'd 24 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:01,928 like one based on the truth. 25 00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:03,129 I don't want any more of those sketches 26 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:04,397 about Alan waking up in the morning 27 00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:05,598 and finding a Saint Bernard in his bed. 28 00:01:05,698 --> 00:01:06,533 That's the truth. 29 00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:07,734 That happened to me. 30 00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:09,335 Buddy, you never had a Saint Bernard in your bed. 31 00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:11,671 Oh, did you ever see my wife in the morning? 32 00:01:11,771 --> 00:01:12,605 [phone ringing] 33 00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:13,606 I keep yelling at her. 34 00:01:13,706 --> 00:01:15,809 Take off that ridiculous cask of brandy. 35 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,677 [laughs] 36 00:01:17,777 --> 00:01:19,612 Hi, Marge. 37 00:01:19,712 --> 00:01:20,413 Mrs. Billings. 38 00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:21,347 What's she doing down here? 39 00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,183 Who's Mrs. Billings? 40 00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:25,185 She wants me to direct the Parents 41 00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:26,753 Council Show again this year, and I've 42 00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:28,655 been ducking her for weeks. 43 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:29,589 What'll I do with her? 44 00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:30,423 Well, don't look at me. 45 00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:32,892 I'm not a parent or a council. 46 00:01:32,992 --> 00:01:34,294 Hey, Marge. 47 00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:36,162 Tell her anything, but get rid of her, will you? 48 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,198 I just don't want to talk to that-- 49 00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:42,001 [nervous laugh] Hello, Mrs. Billings. 50 00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:44,737 Oh, Mr. Petrie, Mr. Petrie. 51 00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:45,638 What? 52 00:01:45,738 --> 00:01:46,739 What? 53 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,741 I apologize from the bottom of my heart. 54 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:49,776 Apologize for what? 55 00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:51,077 For what they're doing to you. 56 00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,712 Oh, I know you must be a very busy man, 57 00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:54,647 and I really shouldn't come barging in like this. 58 00:01:54,747 --> 00:01:58,017 But I wanted you to hear it from me personally. 59 00:01:58,117 --> 00:01:59,252 What is it, Mrs. Billings? 60 00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:00,487 Well, you know that every year you've 61 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,021 been directing our community show, 62 00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:04,524 and you've done such a superb job. 63 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:08,461 Well, this year, without even consulting me, 64 00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:09,929 one of the other ladies on the committee 65 00:02:10,029 --> 00:02:12,232 gave the job to somebody else. 66 00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:14,200 Why, I think that's terrible. 67 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,803 Oh, I knew you'd feel that way. 68 00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:18,371 Believe me. 69 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,373 I'd have given anything to have spared you this humiliation. 70 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:23,309 Well, Mrs. Billings, all of us need a little emotional rubbish 71 00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:24,777 from time to time. 72 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,112 I'll muddle through somehow. 73 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:28,848 Oh, you're so wonderful to take it that way. 74 00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:30,250 Goodbye, Mr. Petrie. 75 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:31,951 Goodbye, whoever you are. 76 00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:39,826 [laughing] 77 00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:47,333 [bangs piano keys] 78 00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:50,770 Hey, Rob. 79 00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:53,673 I-- I hate to bother you in this moment of sorrow. 80 00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:56,843 Oh, I am so happy not to be doing that show. 81 00:02:56,943 --> 00:02:58,378 Why? Gee. 82 00:02:58,478 --> 00:02:59,946 It sounds like fun directing one of those community show. 83 00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:01,114 You know, fix those lights. 84 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,448 Pull that curtain. 85 00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:06,052 Have that good-looking girl go to my office. 86 00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:08,121 I don't mind directing. 87 00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:09,055 I don't mind producing. 88 00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:10,189 I don't mind performing. 89 00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,224 I don't mind they use my furniture 90 00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:13,192 for the sets every year. 91 00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:15,094 What I hate are those auditions. 92 00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:16,429 Well, what's wrong with auditions? 93 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:20,266 You might find another Monroe Diefendorf. 94 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,735 I never heard of Monroe Diefendorf. 95 00:03:22,835 --> 00:03:27,040 See, if you find one, you'll have one. 96 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,474 If I could just find one a little 97 00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:30,777 bit of talent in that neighborhood besides Laura. 98 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,679 She's the only professional in the whole group, 99 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,847 and each year she ends up with the lead. 100 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,482 So what's the problem? 101 00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:38,418 Everyone else's wife. 102 00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:39,919 They all think they have talent, and they 103 00:03:40,019 --> 00:03:41,421 think I'm playing favorites. 104 00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:42,589 Oh, I see what you mean. 105 00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:44,691 Hey, this year, just for a change, 106 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,459 why don't you have Laura not play the lead? 107 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,393 Sure. 108 00:03:47,493 --> 00:03:48,361 Then you can sleep in the garage. 109 00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:50,997 [chuckles] Oh, boy. 110 00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:54,801 This is the first time in three whole years that I am free. 111 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:55,802 Mr. Petrie. 112 00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:00,373 They cannot do this to you. 113 00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:01,541 Who can't do what, Mrs. Billings? 114 00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:03,009 Having somebody else direct, indeed. 115 00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:04,344 How ungrateful can they be? 116 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,745 They're not. They're not. 117 00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:07,080 Well, I'm not going to let them get away with it. 118 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,114 Oh, let them. Let them. 119 00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:09,082 I'll get even some other way. 120 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:10,750 No, no, no, no. 121 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:13,052 I will assume all the responsibility. 122 00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:15,188 Robert Petrie, you are our director. 123 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,322 No, I'm not. I'm not. 124 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:17,457 It's unfair. 125 00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:18,658 No. 126 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,226 Some way somehow I will get rid of that other man. 127 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:21,628 Oh, you can't do that to him. 128 00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:22,328 He's a director. 129 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,296 He has feelings. 130 00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:24,297 Oh, he's not a director. 131 00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,632 He's a dry cleaner. 132 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:28,635 Mrs. Billings, even dry cleaners have feelings. 133 00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:31,638 Well, that's show business. 134 00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:34,374 Robert Petrie, you will be directing our shows as 135 00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:36,175 long as there's a New Rochelle. 136 00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:39,545 Oh, I can't wait to just fly home and spread the good news. 137 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,319 She did it again. 138 00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:56,162 Hello, darling. 139 00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:57,397 Sure. 140 00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:04,804 How did you know I had spaghetti for lunch? 141 00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:05,838 Well, darling, look. 142 00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:07,173 I can put a steak on if you'd rather. 143 00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:08,541 That's all right. 144 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:09,575 What's the matter, dear? 145 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:10,977 You Seem a little out of sorts. 146 00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:14,380 I may be out of sorts, but I am in the show. 147 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,015 The show? 148 00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:17,183 Yup. 149 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:18,851 The Flying Phantom, Mrs. Billings. 150 00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:20,653 She caught me today. 151 00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:21,621 Really? 152 00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:22,755 Mhm. 153 00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:24,257 You are looking at the director of the Annual 154 00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:27,493 Follies and Fun Raiding Fiasco. 155 00:05:27,593 --> 00:05:29,796 I don't know how that woman finds me. 156 00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:31,431 [coughs] 157 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:34,267 I work in an unlisted building. 158 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,335 The nerve of her walking right into my office. 159 00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:37,603 Did she do that? 160 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:38,404 Yeah. 161 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:39,605 Hi, Mrs. Petrie. Yeah. 162 00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:40,940 I got the ginger ale-- 163 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,342 Hello, Freddy. 164 00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:43,776 And the cola, and the soda, and extra ice cubes. 165 00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:44,711 What's all that? 166 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:45,945 Yeah. 167 00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:47,180 And I got the corn curlies, and the Kasha Krispies, 168 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,347 and barley bebes. 169 00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:49,582 But you know something. 170 00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,484 We were all out of the potato poopies. 171 00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:53,953 Oh, well, that's all right. 172 00:05:54,053 --> 00:05:55,221 What's going on here? 173 00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:56,289 Here you are, Freddy. Thank you so much. 174 00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:57,790 OK. Thank you, Mrs. Petrie. 175 00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,092 Oh, oh. 176 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,593 What time should we be here tonight for the auditions? 177 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,095 Auditions? Tonight? 178 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,496 Yeah. 179 00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:05,098 Because I do an imitation, you know, of Al Jolson. 180 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,232 I imitate them all. 181 00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:07,400 Why don't we save it for tonight? 182 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,367 I do Regis Toomey, Amos and Andy. 183 00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:11,938 I do Lum and Abner. 184 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:12,872 OK. 185 00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:14,440 The Happiness Boys. 186 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:15,675 Oh, boy, tonight. 187 00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:23,549 Say, guess who I ran into today. 188 00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:26,519 You launched the Flying Phantom. 189 00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:27,954 You sent her down to my office, didn't you? 190 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,490 Well, darling, she asked me where you work. 191 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:31,924 Now, I couldn't very well lie to her. 192 00:06:32,024 --> 00:06:33,459 I mean I had to give her the address. 193 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,061 You didn't have to tell her what city? 194 00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:36,796 Oh, Rob. 195 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,898 You even arranged for auditions tonight. 196 00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:40,533 Well, darling, I know how you hate 197 00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:42,235 to be bothered with details. 198 00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:43,803 Honey, how could you do that? 199 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:45,571 You know I hate to do that show. 200 00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:47,907 LAURA: Robert Petrie, you love directing those shows, 201 00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:48,608 and you know it. 202 00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,109 I only did it for you. 203 00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:51,744 You only did it for me? 204 00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:54,347 You, of course, weren't planning on being in the show yourself. 205 00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:56,482 Well, I might do a little something. 206 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:59,285 (MOCKING) I might do a little something. 207 00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:01,587 Maybe like star in the show, huh? 208 00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:03,422 If the director thinks that I'm good enough. 209 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:05,057 --that I'm good enough. Yeah. 210 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:05,992 Oh, Rob, look. 211 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,026 These shows are fun. 212 00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:08,227 And who knows? 213 00:07:08,327 --> 00:07:09,495 Maybe it won't be so hard this year. 214 00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:11,364 Well, no thanks to you, Buddy and Sally 215 00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:13,566 have volunteered to help me out this year. 216 00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:14,600 Oh, that's wonderful. 217 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,135 Don't go overboard. 218 00:07:16,235 --> 00:07:17,570 They've written a whole show. 219 00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,539 It's a musical comedy called "The Gold Rush Girl." 220 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:22,241 They wrote a whole musical comedy especially for us? 221 00:07:22,341 --> 00:07:23,209 No. 222 00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:24,577 Especially for Alan Brady. 223 00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:25,812 They wrote it three years ago. 224 00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:27,146 Every year they try to peddle to Alan. 225 00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:28,648 He rejects it. 226 00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:30,550 Oh, well, of course, if it's no good. 227 00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:32,018 Well, [inaudible] good all right. 228 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,453 It's just that Alan always likes to be the main one, 229 00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:37,256 and the lead in this is a girl. 230 00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:39,959 A girl? 231 00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:40,960 The Gold Rush Girl? 232 00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:43,396 In the 1840s with a period costume? 233 00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:45,198 [gasps] Do you remember that costume I wore 234 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,532 in the show three years ago. 235 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:47,667 The Annie Oakley costume. I could wear that. 236 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,001 I gave it to Millie. 237 00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:50,303 I better call her and see if she still has it. 238 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,138 Boy, this is fun. 239 00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:53,372 If you think I'm the best one. 240 00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:55,007 [laughs] 241 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:57,743 Boy. 242 00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:00,913 All right. 243 00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:02,548 I guess you all know why we're here, 244 00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:05,351 our annual fundraising show. 245 00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:07,453 And I am once again your director. 246 00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:08,688 And-- [clapping] 247 00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,156 Thank you. Thank you. 248 00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:12,024 As such, I'm going to be looking forward to your hatred 249 00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:13,359 in the coming months. JERRY: Right. 250 00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:14,260 Right. 251 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,728 Don't be [inaudible] 252 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,196 This year, we're going to do something a little bit 253 00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:18,698 different. 254 00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,233 Our good friends here, Buddy Sorrell and Sally Rogers, 255 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,835 have written a book show for us, kind of a musical play. 256 00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:23,970 Oh. 257 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,371 And I'm going to let them tell you about it. 258 00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:26,572 So Buddy and Sally could you-- could 259 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,174 we hear a rundown of the play now? 260 00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:29,709 Why, sure, why not? 261 00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:32,011 This is probably the most rundown play you'll ever hear. 262 00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:35,014 Now, the name of the story is "The Gold Rush Girl," right? 263 00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:36,549 And the time is 1849. 264 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:42,121 Cut down from 2150. 265 00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:44,924 Actually, it's a story of a young girl who falls 266 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,659 in love with a medicine man. - Yeah. 267 00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:48,728 But she can only see him after meals and before bedtime. 268 00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,600 Now, she joins this traveling medicine 269 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:55,535 show, going to California. 270 00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:56,802 Yeah. 271 00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,004 And they're selling a very popular drink 272 00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,139 called Old Factor Whistle, one blast 273 00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:01,207 you're through for the day. 274 00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:04,577 That's not in the show. 275 00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:06,112 Well, they laughed. 276 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,046 All right. 277 00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:08,147 So it's in the show. 278 00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:10,683 Or, well, you could call it Old Card Table, 279 00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:13,686 two drink and your legs fold under you. 280 00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:15,621 Are you going to let me finish telling this story? 281 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,290 No. They might reject it. 282 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,058 I can't stand anymore rejection. 283 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:20,593 Why don't we just go on with the auditions? 284 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:22,194 Give us the chance to reject them. 285 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,129 All right. All right. 286 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,463 All right. Now, look. 287 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,565 The two leads are the handsome medicine man and the very 288 00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,100 beautiful Gold Rush Girl. 289 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,169 Oh, Mr. Petrie, you must play the handsome medicine man. 290 00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:32,905 And of course, Laura will be the beautiful Gold Rush Girl. 291 00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:34,640 Well, that does it. Let's go home, honey. 292 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,008 No, no, no, Mrs. Billings. 293 00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:37,643 These are open auditions, and everyone should 294 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,011 have a chance to try out. 295 00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:41,013 I mean, after all, I might not be right for it. 296 00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:43,149 It's up to the director to decide. 297 00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:48,454 Swell. 298 00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:49,689 All right, folks, we have an awful lot 299 00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:50,856 of parts to fill here. 300 00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,124 So I think we better get started. 301 00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:55,127 And I guess we'll begin with you, Millie. 302 00:09:58,197 --> 00:10:03,069 Mildred Helper, 146 Bonny Meadow Road. 303 00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:06,605 I'd like to sing "A Sentimental Love Song." 304 00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:09,175 Words and music by Mildred Helper. 305 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,077 146 Bonny Meadow Road. 306 00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:17,016 Wonderful. 307 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:17,984 You ready? 308 00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:20,686 [piano music] 309 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:28,361 (SINGING) My heart got a smash in the face. 310 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:34,166 That night I will never erase. 311 00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:38,004 You saw me standing 'neath the sun and the stars, 312 00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:41,507 and I was something to see. 313 00:10:41,607 --> 00:10:45,344 Then you just pulled out my aching heart 314 00:10:45,444 --> 00:10:49,782 and kicked it right in the knee. 315 00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:56,122 My heart has a terrible scar. 316 00:10:56,222 --> 00:11:02,728 I'll get you for this, wherever you are. 317 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:08,334 But first, I'll kill myself. 318 00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:11,370 I'm funny that way. 319 00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:20,813 But seriously, darling, you're OK. 320 00:11:24,483 --> 00:11:28,421 [applause] 321 00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:33,626 That was just swell, Mill. 322 00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:34,694 I'll let you know. OK? 323 00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:35,628 Well, when? 324 00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:36,829 Listen. 325 00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:37,730 If you don't call me, I'll call you. 326 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:38,831 OK? - Come on. 327 00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:39,865 That was wonderful, honey. 328 00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:41,400 Really wonderful. 329 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,703 Boy, that kind of talent is going to be tough to follow. 330 00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:44,904 What's Laura going to do? 331 00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:46,472 Uh. I don't know, honey. 332 00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:47,373 You want to do something? 333 00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:48,674 Oh, well. 334 00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:51,644 I hardly think Laura has to prove herself. 335 00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:53,045 And after all the star of our show 336 00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:54,880 must preserve her talented tootsies. 337 00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:58,718 Oh, thank you, Mrs. Billings, but I'm not the star yet. 338 00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:02,054 It's up to my husband, the director. 339 00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:05,558 Yes, my wife, the dancer has to earn the job. 340 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:06,826 Go ahead, honey. 341 00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:09,462 Well, I'll do a dance, but I can't really 342 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,063 do it here with the carpet. 343 00:12:11,163 --> 00:12:13,599 But I thought I'd wear a kind of a short Annie Oakley costume, 344 00:12:13,699 --> 00:12:16,769 and I'd start off standing on top of this big drumhead. 345 00:12:16,869 --> 00:12:18,838 And I'll do a big leap off right. 346 00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,240 And then I'll do a series of fouetté turns. 347 00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:22,675 So it'll be fouetté, fouetté, fouetté, 348 00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:23,809 fouetté, fouetté, fouetté, fouetté, 349 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:24,977 fouetté, fouetté around here. 350 00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:27,012 And then a leap in the air, spin. 351 00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:28,781 And now this is the effective part where you 352 00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:30,349 turn and sell it with a look. 353 00:12:30,449 --> 00:12:32,351 Right? 354 00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:36,088 A pirouette, tour jeté, and finish with a series 355 00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:38,457 of chaines, and a big finish. 356 00:12:38,557 --> 00:12:39,425 Like that. 357 00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:42,595 That's [inaudible] 358 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,531 A toast to the star of our show. 359 00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:47,566 Only if I'm worthy. 360 00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:49,101 Oh. 361 00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:52,905 You see, folks, the bigger they are, the nicer they are. 362 00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:56,542 All right, folks. Let's get along. 363 00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:57,843 We have a lot of parts to fill. 364 00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,011 So we have to move it along this evening. 365 00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,613 Are there any other hands-- let's 366 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,581 see hands now for anybody who wants to audition for the show. 367 00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:03,482 Come on. 368 00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:04,483 Who's next? 369 00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:07,486 Mel is your hand up? 370 00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:09,388 Did you want-- you mean you want to do something? 371 00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:10,689 Yes. 372 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:11,690 Well, I thought you were just going to help 373 00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:12,458 us with the production end. 374 00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:13,592 Well, that too. 375 00:13:13,692 --> 00:13:15,227 Well, what-- what do you do, Mel? 376 00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:17,596 Well, I uh-- 377 00:13:17,696 --> 00:13:19,465 fool around with uh-- 378 00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:20,699 (WHISPERS) ventriloquism. 379 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,600 What? 380 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:22,535 Ventriloquism. 381 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,070 Ventriloquism? 382 00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:27,173 It's just sort of a hobby. 383 00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:30,676 Oh, well, Buddy would there be a part for a ventriloquist 384 00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:31,577 in the show? 385 00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:32,611 No. 386 00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:35,147 But there's a part for a dummy. 387 00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:36,115 OK. 388 00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:37,516 Yeah. 389 00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:39,552 Well, I'll just need two props, a stool and a glass of water. 390 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:40,853 Oh, OK, Mel. 391 00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:42,321 Honey, would you get him a glass of water? 392 00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:44,590 Is this stool all right? 393 00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:46,992 OK, Mel, the floor is all yours. 394 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:56,535 Folks, I'd like you to meet my friend Dummy McGee. 395 00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:58,337 Hello, Dummy. 396 00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,673 Hello, Mr. Cooley. 397 00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:01,907 How are you? 398 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,142 I'm fine. 399 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,448 Now, I'd like to show you a little trick. 400 00:14:17,723 --> 00:14:20,893 What's new with you, Dummy? 401 00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:23,596 Well, Mr. Cooley, I'm in love. 402 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:24,930 How could you be in love? 403 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:28,367 You have no poise, no charm, no savoir faire. 404 00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:32,438 On what you pay me I could hardly get carfare. 405 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:35,541 [laughing] 406 00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:40,379 Now, Dummy, I think you should sing your song. 407 00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:42,948 (SINGING) Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care. 408 00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,384 Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care. 409 00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:46,652 Jimmy crack corn-- 410 00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:47,720 - Well, Mel, I think-- - (SINGING) and I don't care. 411 00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:48,954 I think we prob-- 412 00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:52,992 we get the general idea, I think. 413 00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:54,526 Oh, well, thank you, Rob. 414 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,794 Thank you, Rob. 415 00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:57,062 [laughs] 416 00:14:57,162 --> 00:14:58,764 Well, what about it? 417 00:14:58,864 --> 00:15:04,203 Well, it's-- that's very funny, Mel. 418 00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:07,306 Of course, you-- you realize your lips move a little bit. 419 00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:10,542 Well, they're-- they're better than they used to be. 420 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:11,477 What about it? 421 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:12,411 Can we be in the show? 422 00:15:12,511 --> 00:15:13,812 Well, Buddy, what do you think? 423 00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:15,814 Maybe in the medicine-- medicine show. 424 00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:17,116 The medicine show is perfect. 425 00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:19,485 When he gets through, everybody'd be sick. 426 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,319 I'll tell you what, Mel. 427 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:21,620 We'll discuss it a little later. 428 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:28,994 OK, everybody. 429 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:31,930 We got to move on here. 430 00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:33,165 Things are going a little slow. 431 00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,733 Anybody else now? Let's step right up. 432 00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:35,701 Pardon me. 433 00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:36,669 My name is Howard Lebost. 434 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:37,670 I'm your new neighbor. 435 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:38,570 Oh, darling. 436 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:39,972 I didn't introduce you. 437 00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:41,273 Mr. Lebost is the new English teacher at school. 438 00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:43,008 The children love your class. 439 00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:44,076 Thank you. 440 00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:45,010 This is my wife, Anita. 441 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:45,911 Oh, I see. 442 00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,112 What do you do, Howard? 443 00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:48,180 Well, actually, I don't do anything. 444 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,615 My wife has all the talent. 445 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:52,051 I mean she sings a little and dances a little. 446 00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:53,719 But she speaks very little English. 447 00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:54,620 She's from Mexico. 448 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,021 Oh, I see. 449 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:57,356 Well, we're very happy to have you with us, Anita. 450 00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,291 OK. 451 00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:01,560 Would you like to audition? 452 00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:02,661 Como? 453 00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:04,596 [speaking spanish] 454 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:13,238 She said that your wife is just so good. 455 00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:14,773 She'd rather not even try. 456 00:16:14,873 --> 00:16:16,342 Nonsense. 457 00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:19,078 This is a community affair, and everyone's going to audition 458 00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:20,446 and let the best girl win. 459 00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,915 There, didn't I tell you the bigger they are, 460 00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,650 the nicer they are? 461 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,418 Please, Anita. 462 00:16:26,518 --> 00:16:27,353 All right, Anita. 463 00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:28,687 You may go ahead and do your dance. 464 00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:30,356 [speaking spanish] 465 00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:31,523 OK. 466 00:16:35,794 --> 00:16:40,132 (SINGING) Heavens above you all know that I love you. 467 00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:44,203 They rival your beauty, my darling. 468 00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:51,410 I wait till the day, dear, when I can hear you say, dear. 469 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:55,147 [scatting] 470 00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:02,654 Aye, aye, aye, aye. 471 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:06,492 [singing in spanish] 472 00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:44,196 Aye, aye, aye, aye. 473 00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:48,500 [singing in spanish] 474 00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:59,244 [scatting] 475 00:18:04,716 --> 00:18:06,618 Olé. 476 00:18:06,718 --> 00:18:10,689 [applause] 477 00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:19,098 - Thank you, and good night. - Good night. 478 00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:20,165 Buenos noches. 479 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:21,066 Hasta luego. 480 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,067 ANITA: OK. 481 00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,068 FREDDY: Bye bye. 482 00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:28,173 [chuckles] 483 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:32,478 (SINGING) Aye, aye, aye, aye. 484 00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,847 [humming] 485 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,427 Turns like that. 486 00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:49,161 Let's see. 487 00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:50,095 And then I'll do a-- 488 00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:53,665 I'll do a foot to foot. 489 00:18:53,765 --> 00:18:55,067 Turn like that. 490 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:56,335 And a big turn. 491 00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:59,271 And look like that. 492 00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:01,073 This darn carpet. 493 00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:03,041 Can't dance on it. 494 00:19:03,141 --> 00:19:04,643 Oh, wait. Another big turn. 495 00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:05,811 A big finish there. 496 00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:08,447 And then you land on your drum. 497 00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:10,749 Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. 498 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,055 She was very good. 499 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,490 Who? 500 00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:19,324 Oh, yeah. 501 00:19:19,424 --> 00:19:21,460 Yeah, she-- she had something. 502 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,630 Everyone just stood right up and cheered. 503 00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:25,831 She was marvelous. 504 00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,866 Oh, honey, I think it was just their way 505 00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:31,737 of making a stranger from a foreign land feel welcome. 506 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:35,841 Kind of part of our exchange applause system. 507 00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:38,310 Rob, why don't you just come out and admit it? 508 00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:39,811 She was very, very good. 509 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:40,746 All right. 510 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,214 She was fantastic. 511 00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:44,483 Well, you know, for what she does there. 512 00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:45,984 Well, what does that mean? 513 00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:47,986 Well, honey, it just means that the whole thing is-- 514 00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:48,921 it's just a trick. 515 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:49,821 That's all. 516 00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,023 A trick? 517 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,525 Well, yeah, she fooled everybody, honey. 518 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,694 You come out and sing great and dance great, 519 00:19:55,794 --> 00:19:57,529 people are going to think you're talented. 520 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,203 She didn't fool me though, not for one minute. 521 00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,138 I saw through it. 522 00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:08,106 You take away all that fabulous dancing, 523 00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:09,041 all that great singing. 524 00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,442 What is there left? 525 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:14,246 Nothing but that haunting beauty. 526 00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:15,414 All right, Rob. All right. 527 00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:16,882 Finished. The end. 528 00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:18,951 Now, you're going to have to start facing the issue. 529 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,218 You have a decision to make. 530 00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:22,521 You've got to decide whether Anita or I 531 00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:24,122 will be the Gold Rush Girl. - Mhm. 532 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,457 Mhm. 533 00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:26,725 That's just what I've been wanting to avoid. 534 00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:28,594 Now, I told you I didn't want this job. 535 00:20:28,694 --> 00:20:29,962 Look, Rob. 536 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,997 You don't have to answer to anyone but your own conscience 537 00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:33,131 and integrity. 538 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,234 Now, I do want this part, but not 539 00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:37,603 at the expense of your conscience and integrity. 540 00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:38,704 Mhm. 541 00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:41,573 Well, you've just been a great help to me. 542 00:20:41,673 --> 00:20:43,242 As I see it, I have two choices. 543 00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:44,443 That's right. 544 00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:47,579 Either you or separate maintenance. 545 00:20:50,148 --> 00:20:52,951 Just do what you think is right. 546 00:20:53,051 --> 00:20:54,353 What do you think is right? 547 00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:56,121 Never mind what I think. 548 00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:57,823 What do you think? You're the director. 549 00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:58,590 You make the decisions. 550 00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:00,392 Now, who's it going to be? 551 00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:03,362 I guess there's only one thing for me to do. 552 00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:04,930 You know what you're going to do? 553 00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:05,864 Oh, yes. 554 00:21:05,964 --> 00:21:07,165 - Well, what? - What? 555 00:21:07,265 --> 00:21:08,500 You don't want me to play favoritism, do you? 556 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,235 No. What are you going to do? 557 00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:11,903 You'll find out when everybody else does when 558 00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,538 I posted on the bulletin board. 559 00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:16,441 So does that mean you're not going to tell me? 560 00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:18,644 Rob, you better tell me. 561 00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:19,978 OK. 562 00:21:20,078 --> 00:21:21,380 We're going to have a full dress rehearsal of the show now. 563 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:22,681 Oh, listen, kids. 564 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:23,915 You'll have to move back because we're going 565 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,150 to use the whole living room. 566 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:26,018 All the way back to the window seats. 567 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:26,652 That's it. Fine. 568 00:21:26,752 --> 00:21:27,653 OK. 569 00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:28,987 Buddy, you all set for the orchestra? 570 00:21:29,087 --> 00:21:30,222 - All set, Jere. - OK. 571 00:21:30,322 --> 00:21:31,123 We'll start now. 572 00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:33,392 [clears throat] Um. 573 00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:35,694 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, the New Rochelle 574 00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:40,799 Parents Council proudly presents the Broadway Gold Rush Twins. 575 00:21:40,899 --> 00:21:43,969 (SINGING) Doo doodle-doo doodle-doo, 576 00:21:44,069 --> 00:21:45,370 doodle doodle-oo-dee-oo. 577 00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:49,775 BOTH: Doo doodle-doo doodle-doo doodle-oo-dee-oo. 578 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:53,211 ALL: Doo doodle-doo doodle-doo doodle-oo-dee-oo doo. 579 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:54,379 Doo. 580 00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:55,547 BOTH: Why don't you join the group? 581 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:57,382 It's better than being a party poop. 582 00:21:57,482 --> 00:21:58,784 Doo doo, doo, doo, doo. 583 00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:00,085 BOTH: Obligato. 584 00:22:00,185 --> 00:22:02,120 Pizzicato. 585 00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:03,955 Guy Lombardo. 586 00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:10,262 It's the craziest when you noodle with a doodling song. 587 00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:11,697 ALL: Two, three, four. 588 00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:14,166 Like it so much I'll doodle some more. 589 00:22:14,266 --> 00:22:18,437 Little softer Perry Como. 590 00:22:18,537 --> 00:22:22,341 Even softer, pianissimo. 591 00:22:22,441 --> 00:22:26,478 Say you love me with a doodling song. 592 00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:30,482 B-C-D, ooh, what you doodle-do to me. 593 00:22:30,582 --> 00:22:32,718 Say you love me. 594 00:22:32,818 --> 00:22:34,453 Really love me. 595 00:22:34,553 --> 00:22:38,457 Say you love me true. 596 00:22:38,557 --> 00:22:40,592 Say you love me. 597 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:44,229 Please believe me when you do. 598 00:22:44,329 --> 00:22:46,932 That makes two-dle. 599 00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:48,967 Go together. 600 00:22:49,067 --> 00:22:50,669 Bet your boodle. 601 00:22:50,769 --> 00:22:54,840 Like the apples in the strudel do. 602 00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:59,111 When you noodle with a doodling song. 603 00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:02,848 What you call a real ball. 604 00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:04,015 Doo doodle-doo. 605 00:23:04,116 --> 00:23:04,950 Doodle-doo. 606 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:06,785 Doodle doodle-dee-doo. 607 00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:08,353 Doo doodle-doo. 608 00:23:08,453 --> 00:23:09,421 doodle-doo. 609 00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:10,922 I love you. 610 00:23:11,022 --> 00:23:12,457 Doo doodle-doo. 611 00:23:12,557 --> 00:23:13,391 Doodle-doo. 612 00:23:13,492 --> 00:23:14,893 Doodle Doodle-doo. 613 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,500 Here we go now. 614 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,502 Bet your boodle. 615 00:23:23,602 --> 00:23:27,506 Like the apples in the strudel do. 616 00:23:27,606 --> 00:23:31,910 When we oodle with a doodling song. 617 00:23:32,010 --> 00:23:33,945 All through. 618 00:23:34,045 --> 00:23:35,013 Thank you. 619 00:23:43,688 --> 00:23:47,859 [interposing voices] 620 00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:58,336 Children, children, it was a triumph, children. 621 00:23:58,437 --> 00:23:59,604 An absolute triumph. 622 00:23:59,704 --> 00:24:00,939 Hey, I want to tell you something, Rob. 623 00:24:01,039 --> 00:24:02,874 I'm so choked up about that Parents Council, 624 00:24:02,974 --> 00:24:06,812 I'm going out tomorrow and rent a kid. 625 00:24:06,912 --> 00:24:08,713 Say, how did we do at the box office anyway? 626 00:24:08,814 --> 00:24:11,016 Well, I am very proud to announce that this 627 00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,684 was our greatest year. 628 00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:13,418 Oh. 629 00:24:13,518 --> 00:24:14,386 Hey. 630 00:24:14,486 --> 00:24:17,355 We only lost $75. 631 00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:21,159 Oh, Mr. Petrie, could I ask you a rather unusual favor? 632 00:24:21,259 --> 00:24:22,494 What is it, Mrs. Billings? 633 00:24:22,594 --> 00:24:25,464 Well, as a souvenir of this memorable occasion, 634 00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:27,399 could I have your autograph? 635 00:24:27,499 --> 00:24:29,367 My autograph? 636 00:24:29,467 --> 00:24:30,302 Go on, Rob. 637 00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:31,503 Do it. 638 00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:35,607 Oh. 639 00:24:35,707 --> 00:24:36,908 Isn't that nice? 640 00:24:37,008 --> 00:24:37,676 Oh, thank you. 641 00:24:37,776 --> 00:24:39,044 There you are, my dear. 642 00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:40,245 Well, that does it. 643 00:24:40,345 --> 00:24:42,581 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Petrie has just signed 644 00:24:42,681 --> 00:24:46,384 to do our show for next year. 645 00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:47,619 She did it again. 646 00:24:52,257 --> 00:24:55,961 [theme music] 43903

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