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1
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:12,577
YES, MRS. MORGAN.
NO, NO, TOMORROW'S PERFECT.
2
00:00:12,743 --> 00:00:14,573
NO, I WILL--I WILL TELL HER--
3
00:00:14,743 --> 00:00:15,773
I'M SETTING UP A PLAY DATE
FOR YOU AND BOBBY
4
00:00:15,942 --> 00:00:18,612
FOR TOMORROW, OKAY?
5
00:00:18,776 --> 00:00:21,946
UH, YEAH, MRS. MORGAN TELL BOBBY
TO BRING HIS BATHING SUIT,
6
00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:24,920
I THINK JANIE WANTS
TO GO SWIMMING, TOO, OKAY?
7
00:00:25,077 --> 00:00:26,777
ALRIGHT YOU TAKE CARE OF
YOURSELF. BYE.
8
00:00:26,942 --> 00:00:29,482
I DON'T WANNA SWIM!
BOBBY STINKS.
9
00:00:29,642 --> 00:00:32,612
THAT'S WHY I WAS DOING THIS...
10
00:00:32,776 --> 00:00:37,616
HONEY, THAT'S SWIMMING.
YOUR MIME SKILLS ARE TERRIBLE.
11
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:39,006
I THOUGHT YOU LIKED THIS BOY.
12
00:00:39,177 --> 00:00:42,107
I DO, BUT HE STINKS.
13
00:00:42,277 --> 00:00:44,117
COME ON,
HE CAN'T BE THAT BAD.
14
00:00:44,276 --> 00:00:46,746
TRUST ME DADDY.
IF THAT KID SWIMS IN OUR POOL,
15
00:00:46,909 --> 00:00:48,739
WE'LL HAVE TO FLUSH IT.
16
00:00:48,909 --> 00:00:52,449
SORRY EM', I GOT TO BACK OUT
OF TOMORROW.
17
00:00:52,609 --> 00:00:54,949
DAVID MIGHT NEED ME
TO FLUSH SOMETHING.
18
00:00:55,109 --> 00:00:57,909
KEVIN, HE CAN HANDLE IT
BY HIMSELF.
19
00:00:58,076 --> 00:01:01,476
[both laugh]
- YOU BY YOURSELF
20
00:01:01,642 --> 00:01:04,172
MOM GOT US JOBS AS EXTRAS
ON THE SOAP TOMORROW.
21
00:01:04,342 --> 00:01:07,342
EXTRAS... WHY WOULD YOU WANT
TO SPEND THE ENTIRE AFTERNOON
22
00:01:07,509 --> 00:01:09,079
MAKING BELIEVE YOU'RE TALKING IN
THE BACKGROUND?
23
00:01:09,176 --> 00:01:13,776
[no audio]
24
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,941
WELL I WAS GONNA USE THE MONEY
TO FLY OUT
25
00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:18,409
FOR MY NANA'S 100TH BIRTHDAY,
BUT IF YOU NEED ME,
26
00:01:18,576 --> 00:01:21,206
FINGERS CROSSED, I'M SURE
SHE'LL MAKE IT ANOTHER YEAR.
27
00:01:21,376 --> 00:01:23,076
IT'S OKAY! GO.
28
00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:25,219
NO, SERIOUSLY,
I DON'T HAVE TO DO IT.
29
00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:27,146
KEVIN, YOU'LL ONLY BE AWAY
FROM MY FATHER FOR TWO DAYS.
30
00:01:27,309 --> 00:01:29,509
both: TWO DAYS?
- NO, I WILL QUIT RIGHT NOW.
31
00:01:29,675 --> 00:01:31,505
DAD, TELL HIM IT'S OKAY.
32
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:32,845
WHAT? HE'S HIS OWN MAN,
HE'S NOT MY PUPPET.
33
00:01:33,076 --> 00:01:35,476
ARE YOU NEW HERE?
34
00:01:35,641 --> 00:01:37,081
ALRIGHT, HAVE FUN YOU GUYS.
OR SHOULD I SAY...
35
00:01:37,209 --> 00:01:39,839
[no audio]
36
00:01:43,775 --> 00:01:45,945
GUYS, DO I REALLY NEED
A STUPID SPANISH TUTOR?
37
00:01:46,109 --> 00:01:47,809
{\an8}SI.
38
00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:50,805
NO, I DON'T SEE,
THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING!
39
00:01:50,975 --> 00:01:52,605
JOE,
IF YOU DON'T PASS SPANISH,
40
00:01:52,775 --> 00:01:54,575
YOU'LL HAVE TO
REPEAT IT NEXT YEAR.
41
00:01:54,741 --> 00:01:56,841
FINE, BUT THIS WHOLE THING
IS MUCHO LAME-O.
42
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:58,675
[doorbell rings]
43
00:01:58,841 --> 00:02:00,711
AH, THERE'S
YOUR SPANISH TUTOR NOW!
44
00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:02,805
GREAT-O.
45
00:02:02,974 --> 00:02:04,674
SON, JUST A LITTLE HINT--
46
00:02:04,841 --> 00:02:06,471
PUTTING AN "O" ON THE END OF EVERYTHING
47
00:02:06,641 --> 00:02:09,181
DOES NOT SUDDENLY
MAKE IT SPANISH.
48
00:02:09,341 --> 00:02:13,111
HI, DADDY!
49
00:02:13,275 --> 00:02:16,415
I HAVE ANOTHER SISTER?
50
00:02:16,575 --> 00:02:19,945
AWKWARD-O.
51
00:02:20,108 --> 00:02:21,078
[upbeat music]
52
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:28,645
♪
53
00:02:41,974 --> 00:02:45,514
JANIE, THIS IS TRACEY MCPHEE.
SHE'S NOT YOUR REAL SISTER.
54
00:02:45,674 --> 00:02:47,914
SHE WAS MY DAUGHTER
ON {\an8}SEE DAD RUN.
55
00:02:48,075 --> 00:02:50,235
I DON'T REMEMBER YOU.
56
00:02:50,407 --> 00:02:53,177
WELL, I WAS FIRED.
57
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,140
NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NOT FIRED.
58
00:02:55,307 --> 00:02:57,077
MARCUS BARNES,
OUR EXECUTIVE PRODUCER,
59
00:02:57,174 --> 00:02:59,474
DECIDED TO GO ANOTHER WAY.
60
00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:02,680
THIS IS AWKWARD-O.
61
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:07,210
SO, UH, HOW YOU BEEN?
WHERE YOU BEEN?
62
00:03:07,374 --> 00:03:09,534
HOW'D YOU GET MY ADDRESS?
63
00:03:09,707 --> 00:03:11,677
I'M JOE'S TUTOR.
64
00:03:11,839 --> 00:03:13,339
WAIT, HOLD ON.
YOU'RE MY TUTOR?
65
00:03:13,507 --> 00:03:16,247
OOH, HELLO-O.
66
00:03:16,407 --> 00:03:18,977
AND YOU MUST BE JOE.
67
00:03:19,140 --> 00:03:23,510
I MUST BE! I'M GONNA GO
PUT ON MY SKINNY JEANS.
68
00:03:23,673 --> 00:03:27,743
I MEAN, GET MY BOOKS.
69
00:03:27,906 --> 00:03:30,606
SO, YOU'RE TUTORING NOW!
both: GOOD FOR YOU!
70
00:03:30,773 --> 00:03:33,943
YEAH, WHEN I SAW AMY
HAD CALLED THE AGENCY
71
00:03:34,107 --> 00:03:35,637
I JUST, I FIGURED
I'D SURPRISE YOU.
72
00:03:35,806 --> 00:03:38,736
WELL, DANG IT, YOU DID.
73
00:03:38,906 --> 00:03:42,676
WELL WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU TWO SAW EACH OTHER?
74
00:03:42,839 --> 00:03:46,109
DAVID? I AM NOT DOING
A FIRST PIMPLE EPISODE!
75
00:03:46,273 --> 00:03:48,343
I WILL NOT LET THE WRITERS
MAKE ME LOOK UGLY!
76
00:03:48,506 --> 00:03:51,306
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
77
00:03:57,506 --> 00:04:00,706
ACTUALLY AMY, I REMEMBER.
IT WAS RIGHT AFTER I WAS FIRED,
78
00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:02,373
MY LIFE WENT INTO A TAILSPIN,
79
00:04:02,539 --> 00:04:04,509
AND {\an8}SEE DAD RUN WENT ON
TO BECOME A HIT!
80
00:04:04,673 --> 00:04:06,573
ACTUALLY, I THINK {\an8}TV GUIDE
REFERRED TO IT
81
00:04:06,739 --> 00:04:09,439
AS "A CULTURAL JUGGERNAUT,"
BUT LET'S GET BACK TO YOU HONEY.
82
00:04:09,606 --> 00:04:11,576
LISTEN, YOU WERE NOT FIRED.
83
00:04:11,738 --> 00:04:14,068
MARCUS BARNES,
OUR EXECUTIVE PRODUCER,
84
00:04:14,173 --> 00:04:15,673
HIS JOB WAS TO DO
THAT KIND OF STUFF
85
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:17,308
AND HE DECIDED
TO GO ANOTHER WAY.
86
00:04:20,772 --> 00:04:22,602
UM, BOTTOM LINE, TRACEY,
87
00:04:22,772 --> 00:04:24,872
WE'RE GOING ANOTHER WAY.
88
00:04:25,073 --> 00:04:27,713
UM...
89
00:04:27,872 --> 00:04:30,902
TO BE CLEAR,
I DECIDED TO GO ANOTHER WAY.
90
00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:37,813
DAVID HAD
NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.
91
00:04:37,972 --> 00:04:40,202
YOU'RE MAKING THE
BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE,
92
00:04:40,372 --> 00:04:43,372
AND YOU'LL ALL
LIVE TO REGRET IT!
93
00:04:50,272 --> 00:04:51,342
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SON?
94
00:04:51,505 --> 00:04:52,845
GERRY.
95
00:04:53,072 --> 00:04:54,842
YOU LOOK MORE LIKE A KEVIN.
96
00:04:55,072 --> 00:04:57,182
OKAY!
97
00:05:00,572 --> 00:05:02,472
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MARCUS?
98
00:05:02,638 --> 00:05:05,438
- ACTUALLY TRACEY, HE LIVES IN--
- HE MOVED TO DUBAI.
99
00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:07,875
HEY, WHERE'S
MY BEST BUDDY AT?
100
00:05:08,072 --> 00:05:10,632
[screams]
101
00:05:10,804 --> 00:05:15,814
DID I SAY DUBAI?
I MEANT NEARBY.
102
00:05:15,971 --> 00:05:18,611
TRACEY MCPHEE.
103
00:05:18,771 --> 00:05:20,471
SO, WHAT DO WE OWE
THIS PLEASURE?
104
00:05:20,637 --> 00:05:23,447
TRACEY IS JOE'S SPANISH TUTOR.
105
00:05:23,604 --> 00:05:25,874
GOOD FOR YOU!
106
00:05:26,072 --> 00:05:29,382
THANKS. TURNS OUT MY ACTING
CAREER KIND OF STALLED.
107
00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:31,207
ONE CHOKE HOLD
TO A SECURITY GUARD,
108
00:05:31,371 --> 00:05:33,601
AND SUDDENLY
YOU HAVE "ANGER ISSUES."
109
00:05:33,771 --> 00:05:35,811
IT'S NOT LIKE I TRIED TO
RUN HIM OVER WITH MY CAR.
110
00:05:35,971 --> 00:05:38,881
I MEAN, IF THERE'S NO WITNESSES,
IT DIDN'T HAPPEN, RIGHT?
111
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:43,172
SUCH A LOVELY STORY.
112
00:05:43,337 --> 00:05:44,507
[whispers] I HAVE TO GO.
113
00:05:44,671 --> 00:05:46,571
I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE, TRACEY.
114
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:48,637
THE THING IS THAT I WAS
TALKING WITH MY SON EARLIER,
115
00:05:48,804 --> 00:05:51,744
AND IT TURNS OUT HE DOESN'T
REALLY NEED A TUTOR--
116
00:05:51,904 --> 00:05:57,084
HEY, DAD, NOT SO FAST.
117
00:05:57,171 --> 00:05:59,271
LOOK, TRACEY.
I AM AS DUMB AS A STUMP
118
00:05:59,437 --> 00:06:02,377
WHEN IT COMES TO SPANISH,
SO I REALLY NEED YOU.
119
00:06:02,537 --> 00:06:05,337
WELL, LET'S GET STARTED!
120
00:06:05,504 --> 00:06:10,334
I AM RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
121
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:14,214
OOH, OOH... AH.
122
00:06:14,371 --> 00:06:16,341
COME ON, COME ON! UNH!
OKAY.
123
00:06:20,936 --> 00:06:22,706
ALL RIGHT, BACKGROUND,
HERE'S YOUR MOTIVATION.
124
00:06:22,870 --> 00:06:25,070
BLEND INTO THE BACKGROUND.
125
00:06:25,204 --> 00:06:28,134
IF I NOTICE YOU,
YOU'RE FIRED!
126
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:30,474
AND, HEY, HEY, HEY,
HAVE FUN!
127
00:06:30,636 --> 00:06:32,406
ALL RIGHT, LET'S PRACTICE
OUR SILENT CONVERSATION.
128
00:06:32,570 --> 00:06:36,970
[no audio]
129
00:06:37,137 --> 00:06:39,607
ARE YOU MOUTHING "DAVID"
OVER AND OVER AGAIN?
130
00:06:39,770 --> 00:06:42,670
NO... YES, I AM.
LOOK, I JUST--
131
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,736
DO YOU THINK HE'S OKAY
WITHOUT ME?
132
00:06:44,903 --> 00:06:46,303
KEVIN, YOU NEED TO SHOW HIM
THAT YOU HAVE A LIFE
133
00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:48,440
AND THAT YOU'RE A SOMEBODY.
134
00:06:48,603 --> 00:06:51,543
SO, START BEING A NOBODY AND
BLEND INTO THE BACKGROUND.
135
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,473
OKAY GUYS,
HERE'S THE SCENE.
136
00:06:53,636 --> 00:06:55,466
SO SASHA, ONE OF
MY MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES,
137
00:06:55,636 --> 00:06:57,436
IS BACK TO BEING
A BAD HIGH SCHOOL GIRL AGAIN,
138
00:06:57,603 --> 00:06:59,533
AND SHE'S STOLEN
THE COLONEL'S FAMILY JEWELS.
139
00:06:59,703 --> 00:07:01,543
AND I'VE GONE UNDERCOVER,
140
00:07:01,703 --> 00:07:05,343
DISGUISED AS A SCIENCE TEACHER,
TO BUST HER.
141
00:07:05,503 --> 00:07:08,733
WOULDN'T IT MAKE MORE SENSE
IF HE WAS THE SPANISH TEACHER?
142
00:07:08,902 --> 00:07:11,472
JUST BECAUSE I AM
A GORGEOUS LATIN LOVER,
143
00:07:11,635 --> 00:07:13,735
I CAN'T PLAY
A SCIENCE TEACHER...
144
00:07:13,902 --> 00:07:17,082
WHO LOVES SCIENCE, SLOWLY,
AND WITH PASSION.
145
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:20,073
CUE THE BACKGROUND!
AND--ACTION!
146
00:07:20,203 --> 00:07:22,973
OF COURSE I STUDIED!
IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS PRETENDING
147
00:07:23,136 --> 00:07:24,506
TO DO MY HOMEWORK
WHILE ACTUALLY OUT,
148
00:07:24,669 --> 00:07:27,279
STEALING DIAMONDS.
149
00:07:27,435 --> 00:07:31,305
ONCE I GRADE YOUR SCIENCE
TEST, SLOWLY, AND WITH PASSION
150
00:07:31,469 --> 00:07:35,969
I WILL KNOW THE TRUTH.
151
00:07:36,136 --> 00:07:38,076
OH, NO!
152
00:07:38,202 --> 00:07:39,772
I FORGOT TO REMIND DAVID
ABOUT HIS SPA APPOINTMENT!
153
00:07:39,935 --> 00:07:41,575
NO, YOU CAN'T CALL HIM!
154
00:07:41,735 --> 00:07:44,335
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE
OF A SCENE.
155
00:07:44,502 --> 00:07:46,402
EMILY, YOUR FATHER'S SKIN
IS A NATIONAL TREASURE.
156
00:07:46,569 --> 00:07:49,179
YOU CAN'T STOP ME.
157
00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:51,445
OKAY, YOU CAN STOP ME.
158
00:07:53,968 --> 00:08:00,908
NOW THIS, IS A "TAA-CO."
159
00:08:01,069 --> 00:08:04,169
"TACO."
160
00:08:04,335 --> 00:08:06,935
GOOD.
161
00:08:07,102 --> 00:08:08,702
NOW THIS NEXT ONE'S
A TOUGH ONE.
162
00:08:08,868 --> 00:08:13,798
"CHILI CON CARNE."
163
00:08:13,968 --> 00:08:16,538
NOW "CHILI,"
IS OBVIOUS, MEANS COLD.
164
00:08:16,701 --> 00:08:21,141
AND "CON" IS
THE OPPOSITE OF "PRO,"
165
00:08:21,302 --> 00:08:23,942
WHICH MEANS BAD.
AND "CARNE" IS A CARNIVAL.
166
00:08:24,102 --> 00:08:28,532
SO THIS IS COLD FOOD
YOU FIND AT A BAD CARNIVAL.
167
00:08:28,701 --> 00:08:31,071
YOU TEACH GOOD.
168
00:08:31,202 --> 00:08:32,502
HI, GUYS.
169
00:08:32,668 --> 00:08:34,438
HEY, DAD, CHECK IT OUT.
170
00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:37,071
TRACEY IS TEACHING ME
SPANISH WITH FOOD.
171
00:08:37,201 --> 00:08:38,171
OH.
172
00:08:38,334 --> 00:08:40,774
KWESS-A-DELLA?
173
00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:43,444
I THOUGHT THAT WAS PRONOUNCED
"QUESADILLA."
174
00:08:43,601 --> 00:08:45,511
VERY COMMON MISTAKE, YOU GOT
TO REALLY HIT THE "L"S.
175
00:08:45,668 --> 00:08:48,408
THAT'S WHY THERE'S TWO OF 'EM.
176
00:08:48,568 --> 00:08:50,598
ARE YOU SURE?
177
00:08:50,768 --> 00:08:52,768
I'M PRETTY SURE.
WHEN I WAS UNDER HOUSE ARREST
178
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:56,533
I WATCHED A LOT OF
"TELL-A NOVEL-AS."
179
00:08:56,701 --> 00:08:59,331
ISN'T IT "TELENOVELA?"
180
00:08:59,501 --> 00:09:01,301
COME ON, DAVID,
WHO'S THE EXPERT HERE?
181
00:09:01,468 --> 00:09:04,338
THIS MUCHACHO.
182
00:09:04,501 --> 00:09:08,971
WELL THEN, PASS ME ONE OF
THOSE KWESS-A-DELL-AS, MUCHACHO.
183
00:09:09,134 --> 00:09:11,904
THANK YOU!
184
00:09:12,068 --> 00:09:16,538
WHOA! [coughs]
185
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:18,870
HEY, YOU MUST BE BOBBY.
186
00:09:19,068 --> 00:09:20,568
HOW'D YOU KNOW?
187
00:09:20,733 --> 00:09:22,573
WELL...
[inhales]
188
00:09:22,733 --> 00:09:25,333
I JUST KINDA WALKED
IN THE ROOM AND IT HIT ME.
189
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:31,940
GOOD GORGONZOLA!
UNH!
190
00:09:32,101 --> 00:09:36,071
I WIN AGAIN!
I'M ON FIRE!
191
00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:38,577
WELL, NOT YET,
BUT IF SOMEBODY
192
00:09:38,733 --> 00:09:40,733
LIT A MATCH AROUND YOU...
BOOM!
193
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:43,840
CAN I USE YOUR PHONE?
I HAVE TO CALL MY MOM.
194
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:46,867
SURE THING, YOU KNOW WHAT?
OUTSIDE, BOBBY.
195
00:09:47,067 --> 00:09:50,067
OUTSIDE WE GET
REALLY GOOD RECEPTION.
196
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:55,070
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
WHOA! [coughs]
197
00:09:55,233 --> 00:09:58,333
I HAVE TO TELL BOBBY
HE STINKS.
198
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:00,230
HONEY, YOU CAN'T
JUST COME RIGHT OUT
199
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,170
AND TELL HIM THE TRUTH,
200
00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:04,033
YOU'RE GONNA HURT
HIS FEELINGS, ALL RIGHT?
201
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,230
BUT YOU SAID TO
ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH.
202
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,230
I KNOW I SAID THAT,
BUT IN THIS CASE,
203
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,530
EITHER HIS MOM, HIS DAD,
OR, MORE THAN LIKELY,
204
00:10:10,699 --> 00:10:12,799
A DOCTOR NEEDS TO TELL HIM.
205
00:10:12,966 --> 00:10:17,706
HE'S OFF THE PHONE!
206
00:10:17,866 --> 00:10:23,266
MY DAD SAYS YOU SHOULD
HEAR THIS FROM A DOCTOR,
207
00:10:23,432 --> 00:10:27,072
SO, DR. MONKEY CHUNKS
THINKS YOU'RE SMELLY.
208
00:10:27,232 --> 00:10:28,232
WHAT?
209
00:10:28,399 --> 00:10:31,269
A SUPER STINK-O.
210
00:10:31,432 --> 00:10:33,092
I DON'T WANNA PLAY
WITH YOU ANYMORE
211
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,666
YOU'RE MEAN.
212
00:10:34,832 --> 00:10:36,902
WE'RE STILL FRIENDS!
213
00:10:37,066 --> 00:10:40,826
DR. MONKEY CHUNKS JUST WENT
A DIFFERENT WAY.
214
00:10:45,099 --> 00:10:47,529
I WILL GRADE YOU RIGHT HERE
215
00:10:47,699 --> 00:10:50,599
IN THIS HALLWAY, IF I MUST.
216
00:10:50,766 --> 00:10:53,036
WHAT DO I CARE?
217
00:10:53,199 --> 00:10:55,869
NO, KEVIN!
YOU'RE GONNA GET US FIRED.
218
00:10:56,032 --> 00:10:57,872
DAVID,
I HAVE TO MAKE THIS QUICK!
219
00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,902
YOU HAVE A SPA APPOINTMENT
TWO O'CLOCK, TODAY,
220
00:11:00,132 --> 00:11:03,972
YOU'RE GETTING EVERYTHING--
BUT FACE--EXFOLIATION.
221
00:11:04,132 --> 00:11:06,662
KEVIN JUST CALLED ME
"BUTT FACE."
222
00:11:16,665 --> 00:11:18,875
DAVID,
YOUR HOUSE SMELLS SO BAD,
223
00:11:19,066 --> 00:11:21,136
I ALMOST DON'T WANNA
EAT YOUR FOOD.
224
00:11:23,199 --> 00:11:25,239
I SAID "ALMOST."
225
00:11:25,398 --> 00:11:28,328
THAT WOULD BE
THE LINGERING STINK OF BOBBY.
226
00:11:28,498 --> 00:11:29,298
SPELLED WITH A "B-O."
227
00:11:31,265 --> 00:11:33,695
B-B-Y.
228
00:11:33,865 --> 00:11:36,265
WELL, HE'S NEVER
COMING BACK.
229
00:11:36,431 --> 00:11:38,801
I OFFERED HIM THE COOKIES
FROM SNACK TIME,
230
00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:41,564
BUT HE STILL WON'T TALK
TO ME.
231
00:11:41,731 --> 00:11:44,061
OH, SWEETHEART, YOU'LL MAKE
OTHER, MORE HYGIENIC FRIENDS.
232
00:11:47,531 --> 00:11:49,371
HEY, WHAT'S UP?
233
00:11:49,531 --> 00:11:52,501
WELL, I GOT AN "F"
ON MY SPANISH TEST TODAY.
234
00:11:52,665 --> 00:11:55,435
OH! NEWS FLASH DAD.
235
00:11:55,598 --> 00:11:59,598
IT'S NOT PRONOUNCED
"KWESS-A-DELLA."
236
00:11:59,764 --> 00:12:02,834
TRACEY IS MAKING ME STUPIDER.
YOU GOTTA GET RID OF HER.
237
00:12:03,065 --> 00:12:06,435
WELL, THEN WHY YOU STILL
WEARING THOSE SKINNY JEANS?
238
00:12:06,597 --> 00:12:10,067
BECAUSE I CAN'T
GET 'EM OFF!
239
00:12:10,198 --> 00:12:11,898
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR PANTS,
240
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,105
AND I'LL TAKE CARE
OF TRACEY, OKAY?
241
00:12:14,265 --> 00:12:17,435
SORRY, I'M LATE,
WORST DAY EVER!
242
00:12:17,597 --> 00:12:20,197
UH-OH, THERE'S A LOT OF
AMMO ON THIS ISLAND!
243
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:22,864
WHICH ONE WILL YOU CHOOSE?
WHICH ONE WILL YOU CHOOSE?
244
00:12:23,065 --> 00:12:26,265
LISTEN, TRACEY,
WE HAVE TO TALK, OKAY?
245
00:12:26,430 --> 00:12:28,800
ONE DAY, MY COFFEE SHOP
HAS AN ICY DRINK THAT I LOVE,
246
00:12:28,964 --> 00:12:30,964
AND THEN THE NEXT DAY, THEY
CHANGE OUT THE TWO PERCENT MILK
247
00:12:31,130 --> 00:12:34,960
FOR FAT-FREE MILK BECAUSE THEY
DECIDED TO GO A DIFFERENT WAY!
248
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,670
SORRY, IT'S JUST, IF ONE MORE
BAD THING HAPPENS TO ME,
249
00:12:37,830 --> 00:12:40,400
I SWEAR I AM GOING TO LOSE IT!
250
00:12:40,564 --> 00:12:41,434
HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
251
00:12:47,064 --> 00:12:48,824
SORRY, DAVID.
252
00:12:49,064 --> 00:12:50,164
WHAT WAS IT THAT YOU WANTED TO
TALK TO ME ABOUT?
253
00:12:50,330 --> 00:12:53,740
TRACEY, WE'RE HAVING DINNER,
254
00:12:53,896 --> 00:12:55,966
WE'D LIKE TO INVITE YOU.
WE'RE HAVING FAJITAS.
255
00:12:56,130 --> 00:12:58,600
UGH!
DAVID, I'M A GIRL.
256
00:12:58,763 --> 00:13:01,893
SO IT'S "FA-SHE-TAS."
257
00:13:12,496 --> 00:13:15,066
DAD, ISN'T THERE SOMETHING
THAT YOU WANTED TO TELL TRACEY?
258
00:13:15,164 --> 00:13:16,504
YES, YES, THERE IS, I--
259
00:13:18,396 --> 00:13:21,136
ARE YOU DONE WITH THE KETCHUP?
260
00:13:21,296 --> 00:13:22,436
- HEY, GUYS.
- OH, HEY!
261
00:13:22,596 --> 00:13:24,506
HEY, HEY, LOOK WHO IT IS!
262
00:13:24,663 --> 00:13:28,733
IT'S MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE,
THE STAR OF {\an8}ALL THE DAYS.
263
00:13:28,896 --> 00:13:31,066
- UH-OH
- YOU KNOW--
264
00:13:31,229 --> 00:13:33,829
HONEY I WAS ACTUALLY JUST
TELLING TRACEY HERE
265
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,903
THAT SHE SHOULD RESUME
HER ACTING CAREER, FULL-TIME.
266
00:13:37,063 --> 00:13:38,593
REALLY?
267
00:13:38,763 --> 00:13:40,193
- REALLY?
- YES, ABSOLUTELY.
268
00:13:40,363 --> 00:13:42,063
YOU HAVE A GIFT, TRACEY.
269
00:13:42,163 --> 00:13:44,203
YOU NEED TO SHARE IT
WITH THE WORLD!
270
00:13:44,363 --> 00:13:46,333
AS A MATTER OF FACT, MY WIFE,
THE STAR OF {\an8}ALL THE DAYS,
271
00:13:46,496 --> 00:13:48,866
HAS A PART IN HER SHOW
THAT WOULD BE PERFECT FOR YOU!
272
00:13:49,063 --> 00:13:51,733
- REALLY?
- OH, WOW!
273
00:13:51,895 --> 00:13:54,505
THIS IS SO GREAT!
IT'S ALMOST HARD TO BELIEVE!
274
00:13:54,662 --> 00:13:57,902
YES, IT'S VERY
HARD TO BELIEVE.
275
00:13:58,063 --> 00:14:00,623
[forced laughter]
276
00:14:00,795 --> 00:14:03,335
BUT WHAT I DO KNOW FOR SURE IS
277
00:14:03,495 --> 00:14:06,905
YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TALENTS
AS A TUTOR, HONEY.
278
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:09,863
[laughs] I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING!
279
00:14:10,063 --> 00:14:12,293
NEITHER CAN I!
ALL RIGHT.
280
00:14:12,462 --> 00:14:13,932
WELCOME TO {\an8}ALL THE DAYS, SWEETIE.
281
00:14:14,096 --> 00:14:16,056
THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE!
282
00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:24,065
ALL RIGHT,
PLACES PLEASE!
283
00:14:26,228 --> 00:14:29,928
WOW, AMY, I SERIOUSLY CAN'T
TELL YOU HOW GRATEFUL I AM.
284
00:14:30,095 --> 00:14:32,435
I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN GIVEN
A FRESH START.
285
00:14:32,595 --> 00:14:33,695
AND, ACTION!
286
00:14:33,862 --> 00:14:36,802
WHAT? NO COUNTDOWN?
287
00:14:36,961 --> 00:14:38,931
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE PREPARED
WITH NO WARNING?
288
00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:41,765
I AM AN ACTOR,
NOT A TRAINED DOG!
289
00:14:41,927 --> 00:14:44,097
YEAH, I WASN'T
QUITE READY EITHER.
290
00:14:44,262 --> 00:14:49,802
FINE, IN 3, 2, AND ACTION!
291
00:14:49,961 --> 00:14:54,231
GO AHEAD, SEARCH MY LOCKER.
WHAT DO I CARE?
292
00:14:54,395 --> 00:14:58,225
THERE'S A LOT OF JEWELS IN
THERE FOR A HIGH SCHOOL GIRL.
293
00:14:58,395 --> 00:15:01,135
JEALOUS?
294
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:07,271
- IT'S DAVID!
- DO NOT SPEAK.
295
00:15:07,427 --> 00:15:11,467
REALLY, KEVIN?
THE SILENT TREATMENT?
296
00:15:11,627 --> 00:15:13,457
I GET IT,
YOU'RE MAD AT ME,
297
00:15:13,627 --> 00:15:14,727
THAT'S WHY YOU CALLED ME
"BUTT FACE."
298
00:15:18,128 --> 00:15:21,268
LOOK, KEVIN, WHATEVER I DID,
I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU, OKAY?
299
00:15:21,427 --> 00:15:24,557
WE'LL GRAB A BURGER, WE'LL SPEND
SOME QUALITY TIME TOGETHER,
300
00:15:24,727 --> 00:15:27,927
HOW'S THAT?
301
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:31,864
STILL NOTHING?
ALRIGHT FINE, FORGET IT.
302
00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:33,961
WHO'S BEING A BUTT FACE NOW?
303
00:15:36,794 --> 00:15:41,364
DAD, IT'S A DATE.
HE'LL CALL YOU LATER.
304
00:15:41,527 --> 00:15:45,057
THANK YOU,
I OWE YOU BIG TIME.
305
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:47,071
CUT! THAT'S IT.
306
00:15:47,194 --> 00:15:48,864
GIRL EXTRA IN THE SWEATER AND
CURLY-HAIRED GUY,
307
00:15:49,061 --> 00:15:50,791
GET OFF MY STAGE!
- YES!
308
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:55,430
WILL I STILL GET
A FULL DAY'S PAY?
309
00:15:55,593 --> 00:15:58,823
YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVER MIND.
AND ACTION.
310
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:12,060
OH, HEY, BOBBY.
HOW YOU DOING?
311
00:16:12,194 --> 00:16:15,504
IT'S OKAY, DADDY.
BOBBY AND I ARE FRIENDS AGAIN.
312
00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:18,770
I DON'T STINK ANYMORE!
313
00:16:18,926 --> 00:16:20,366
OH! OH GREAT.
314
00:16:20,526 --> 00:16:22,396
ALL THANKS TO ME.
315
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,200
I GUESS TELLING THE TRUTH
WORKS OUT AFTER ALL.
316
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:29,230
HUH. WEIRD.
317
00:16:29,393 --> 00:16:31,463
DADDY, CAN WE PLAY PRETZEL?
318
00:16:31,626 --> 00:16:34,926
OH, YEAH, ABSOLUTELY,
I'LL GET IT.
319
00:16:35,093 --> 00:16:37,223
HERE YOU GO.
320
00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:42,530
HEY, YOU FOUND
MY LUCKY SOCKS!
321
00:16:47,859 --> 00:16:49,959
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST,
SASHA DESARIO.
322
00:16:50,126 --> 00:16:52,596
SO GRAB YOUR BEDAZZLED BACKPACK
AND YOUR RUBBER BAND BRACELETS
323
00:16:52,759 --> 00:16:54,429
AND COME WITH ME.
324
00:16:54,592 --> 00:16:56,352
CUT!
THESE LINES ARE ALL WRONG.
325
00:16:56,525 --> 00:16:57,925
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM?
326
00:16:58,093 --> 00:17:00,093
THEY SHOULD BE MY LINES.
327
00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:02,130
MY CHARACTER SHOULD BE MAKING
THE ARREST.
328
00:17:02,293 --> 00:17:04,133
THERE IS ONLY ONE REAL DETECTIVE
IN THIS SHOW, ME!
329
00:17:04,293 --> 00:17:06,923
ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!
330
00:17:09,959 --> 00:17:11,659
[dialing phone number]
331
00:17:11,825 --> 00:17:12,955
DAVID, GOOD, YOU'RE HERE.
332
00:17:13,126 --> 00:17:14,926
TRACEY HAS LOST HER MIND.
333
00:17:15,093 --> 00:17:17,393
PLEASE, NO SUDDEN MOVES.
334
00:17:17,559 --> 00:17:21,559
MUSTARD MAKES SANTIAGO QUEASY.
335
00:17:21,725 --> 00:17:23,685
GET AWAY FROM
MY DRESSING ROOM.
336
00:17:23,859 --> 00:17:26,599
I'VE GOT SPICY BROWN MUSTARD,
AND I SWEAR I'LL USE IT.
337
00:17:31,192 --> 00:17:32,462
DAVID, YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
338
00:17:32,625 --> 00:17:35,055
ALL RIGHT, I GOT THIS.
339
00:17:35,192 --> 00:17:36,622
MARCUS, YOU GOTTA
DO SOMETHING.
340
00:17:36,791 --> 00:17:39,121
- NO, I DON'T.
- COME ON,
341
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,262
HOW DO YOU HANDLE AN
OUT-OF-CONTROL ACTOR ON A SET?
342
00:17:41,425 --> 00:17:43,655
WELL, WHAT WORKS FOR ME
IS TO REPEAT BACK TO THEM
343
00:17:43,824 --> 00:17:45,554
WHATEVER THEY SAID,
IN AN AGREEABLE MANNER.
344
00:17:45,724 --> 00:17:47,494
THAT'LL NEVER WORK.
345
00:17:47,658 --> 00:17:50,058
YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT'LL NEVER WORK.
346
00:17:50,225 --> 00:17:53,065
WAIT, NOT SO FAST,
IT JUST MIGHT.
347
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:54,829
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
TELL HER THE TRUTH.
348
00:17:55,059 --> 00:17:56,559
IT WORKED OUT FOR ME
AND BOBBY.
349
00:17:56,724 --> 00:17:58,524
THAT'LL NEVER WORK.
350
00:17:58,691 --> 00:18:01,131
YOU'RE RIGHT,
THAT'LL NEVER WORK.
351
00:18:01,292 --> 00:18:03,832
WAIT, NOT SO FAST,
IT JUST MIGHT.
352
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,561
TRACEY, I'M COMING IN.
353
00:18:14,724 --> 00:18:19,094
PUT DOWN THE MUSTARD,
AND LET SANTIAGO GO.
354
00:18:19,258 --> 00:18:21,628
NOT UNTIL MY DEMANDS ARE MET.
I WANT ALL OF HIS LINES
355
00:18:21,791 --> 00:18:24,331
IN THE SCRIPT,
AND A BIGGER BADGE.
356
00:18:24,491 --> 00:18:26,451
PLEASE HELP ME.
357
00:18:26,624 --> 00:18:29,824
THE MUSTARD SEED
IS SANTIAGO'S ONLY WEAKNESS.
358
00:18:30,058 --> 00:18:31,888
IF YOU SQUEEZE THAT BOTTLE,
YOU'LL REGRET IT
359
00:18:32,058 --> 00:18:33,288
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
360
00:18:33,458 --> 00:18:34,858
FINE.
361
00:18:35,058 --> 00:18:37,168
YOU ARE {\an8}LOCO EN LA CABEZA.
362
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:40,094
I AM AN AQUARIUS.
363
00:18:42,757 --> 00:18:45,727
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
364
00:18:45,890 --> 00:18:48,460
THIS IS THE REASON YOU GOT FIRED
FROM {\an8}SEE DADRUN.
365
00:18:48,623 --> 00:18:51,093
WHAT HAPPENED TO "MARCUS WENT
A DIFFERENT WAY?"
366
00:18:51,258 --> 00:18:54,728
I MADE HIM FIRE YOU BECAUSE
YOU ACT LIKE THIS.
367
00:18:54,890 --> 00:18:56,420
YOU FIRED ME?
368
00:18:56,590 --> 00:18:58,860
YES!
IF I WAS USING MY HEAD,
369
00:18:59,058 --> 00:19:00,718
I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU
THE TRUTH BACK THEN,
370
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:01,590
AND MAYBE YOU'D HAVE
SAVED YOUR JOB.
371
00:19:05,490 --> 00:19:08,790
I KNOW YOU WOULDN'T
UNDERSTAND, DAVID, BUT...
372
00:19:08,957 --> 00:19:10,657
WHEN I GET IN FRONT
OF THAT CAMERA,
373
00:19:10,823 --> 00:19:13,433
SUDDENLY EVERYTHING
BECOMES ABOUT ME.
374
00:19:13,590 --> 00:19:15,600
WELL, I GET IT.
375
00:19:15,757 --> 00:19:17,197
BUT THE TRICK IS,
YOU HAVE TO KEEP
376
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:20,917
THE "ME, ME, ME" INSIDE.
377
00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:22,790
YOU HEAR
THE "ME, ME, ME" TOO?
378
00:19:22,956 --> 00:19:28,296
I'M HEARING IT RIGHT NOW.
379
00:19:28,457 --> 00:19:30,217
I'M REALLY SORRY, DAVID.
380
00:19:30,390 --> 00:19:32,060
DON'T APOLOGIZE TO ME.
APOLOGIZE TO THEM.
381
00:19:32,190 --> 00:19:34,060
THAT'LL NEVER WORK.
382
00:19:34,157 --> 00:19:36,857
YOU'RE RIGHT,
THAT'LL NEVER WORK.
383
00:19:37,057 --> 00:19:40,717
WAIT, NOT SO FAST,
IT JUST MIGHT.
384
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,889
WILL YOU GO WITH ME?
385
00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:44,927
YES, ABSOLUTELY. I MEAN,
I'M NOT GOING TO LET ANYTHING
386
00:19:45,090 --> 00:19:47,320
BAD HAPPEN TO
MY FIRST TV DAUGHTER.
387
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,620
THANKS. HEY,
AND IF THINGS DON'T WORK OUT,
388
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:52,059
I COULD ALWAYS GO BACK TO
TUTORING SPANISH.
389
00:19:52,223 --> 00:19:54,153
LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT OVER
A KWESS-A-DELLA.
390
00:19:57,422 --> 00:19:58,862
[phone rings]
both: THE RADIUS
391
00:19:59,057 --> 00:20:00,087
- OF WHAT?
- OF A CIRCLE.
392
00:20:00,257 --> 00:20:03,887
HELLO? UH, NO, SORRY,
393
00:20:04,057 --> 00:20:06,297
THERE'S NOBODY
BY THE NAME OF GERRY HERE.
394
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:07,796
DAVID, I'LL TAKE
CARE OF THAT.
395
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:09,656
JUST--
- WHAT--OH.
396
00:20:09,822 --> 00:20:12,162
MOM, PLEASE!
I KNOW YOU NAMED ME GERRY,
397
00:20:12,322 --> 00:20:14,422
BUT YOU'RE JUST
MY REGULAR MOM.
398
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,789
DAVID IS AMERICA'S
NUMBER ONE DAD,
399
00:20:16,956 --> 00:20:18,666
AND MY NAME IS KEVIN NOW.
400
00:20:18,822 --> 00:20:21,792
AND IT'S TIME
YOU ACCEPT THAT.
401
00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:28,225
KEVIN, DID YOU JUST PLACE
MY DAD OVER YOUR OWN MOTHER?
402
00:20:28,389 --> 00:20:31,329
ISN'T THAT, LIKE,
BEYOND WEIRD?
403
00:20:31,489 --> 00:20:33,059
THERE'S NOTHING WEIRD
ABOUT THAT.
404
00:20:33,222 --> 00:20:34,992
MIND YOUR BUSINESS, EMILY!
405
00:20:36,238 --> 00:20:38,708
[both muttering and laughing]
406
00:20:38,758 --> 00:20:43,308
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