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1
00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,336
DADDY, WHAT'S UP WITH JOE
THIS MORNING?
2
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,180
WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
3
00:00:12,343 --> 00:00:13,373
HEY, BUDDY.
YOU GOT A GOOD NIGHT'S--
4
00:00:13,543 --> 00:00:16,843
BREAKFAST READY YET?
5
00:00:17,011 --> 00:00:19,341
UH...YOU OKAY?
6
00:00:19,512 --> 00:00:21,982
YEAH. NEVER BETTER.
7
00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:27,490
DADDY, WHY IS HE WINKING
AT US?
8
00:00:27,647 --> 00:00:29,847
JOE, IS THERE AN INSIDE JOKE
THAT I FORGOT ABOUT?
9
00:00:30,014 --> 00:00:31,314
BECAUSE IF THERE IS,
WHATEVER IT IS...
10
00:00:31,482 --> 00:00:34,052
OKAY?
11
00:00:34,216 --> 00:00:35,516
THERE YOU GO.
12
00:00:35,682 --> 00:00:37,352
- PATTIES?
- YEP.
13
00:00:37,516 --> 00:00:40,086
PATTIES?
DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?
14
00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:41,920
YEAH, UH,
RIGHT NOW, NO.
15
00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:44,285
LINKS.
I PREFER MY SAUSAGE LINKED.
16
00:00:44,451 --> 00:00:45,621
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
17
00:00:45,785 --> 00:00:47,495
SINCE WHEN DID YOU EVER CARE
18
00:00:47,651 --> 00:00:49,691
WHAT SHAPE YOUR BREAKFAST MEAT
COMES IN?
19
00:00:49,852 --> 00:00:51,462
SORRY.
20
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:52,759
I'M TWO WEEKS AWAY
FROM BREAKING
21
00:00:52,919 --> 00:00:54,659
THE SCHOOL DISTRICT RECORD
22
00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:55,880
FOR CONSECUTIVE DAYS
WITHOUT AN ABSENCE.
23
00:00:56,054 --> 00:00:57,524
YOU'VE NEVER MISSED
24
00:00:57,688 --> 00:00:59,518
A DAY OF SCHOOL?
- NEVER.
25
00:00:59,688 --> 00:01:00,588
NOT EVEN THE TIME THAT
YOU BROKE YOUR LITTLE--
26
00:01:00,754 --> 00:01:01,894
NEVER!
27
00:01:02,089 --> 00:01:03,089
THE STRESS IS KILLING ME.
28
00:01:03,189 --> 00:01:04,959
LOOK, COME ON.
29
00:01:05,123 --> 00:01:06,583
THIS MUCH STRESS AT YOUR AGE
IS NOT HEALTHY.
30
00:01:06,756 --> 00:01:10,226
NEITHER ARE THESE PATTIES.
31
00:01:10,391 --> 00:01:12,321
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE
A DAY OFF?
32
00:01:12,491 --> 00:01:14,131
- "A DAY OFF?"
- YEAH.
33
00:01:14,292 --> 00:01:16,332
[laughs maniacally]
"A DAY OFF"?
34
00:01:16,492 --> 00:01:17,732
BUT JOE, YOU GOTTA FORGET
ABOUT THIS SCHOOL RECORD THING.
35
00:01:17,892 --> 00:01:19,592
COME ON.
36
00:01:19,759 --> 00:01:21,729
YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'M GONNA CALL THE SCHOOL
37
00:01:21,893 --> 00:01:23,563
TO TELL THEM YOU'RE SICK.
WE'RE GONNA GO TO THE BEACH.
38
00:01:23,727 --> 00:01:25,537
WE'RE GONNA PLAY HOOKY.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
39
00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:27,564
BUT DAD, THAT'S TOTALLY
AGAINST THE RULES.
40
00:01:27,728 --> 00:01:29,428
JOE, SOME RULES ARE MEANT
TO BE BROKEN, RIGHT?
41
00:01:29,595 --> 00:01:30,655
AND BESIDES,
IT'S CALLED PLAYING HOOKY.
42
00:01:30,828 --> 00:01:32,398
IF IT WAS A BAD THING,
43
00:01:32,562 --> 00:01:33,892
THEY'D CALL IT
COMMITTING HOOKY.
44
00:01:34,097 --> 00:01:35,667
OKAY? YOU IN?
45
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,459
- YEAH. OKAY.
- OKAY, BEAUTIFUL.
46
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:39,530
GREAT.
- IF YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
47
00:01:39,697 --> 00:01:41,227
I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA.
COME ON, BOTH OF YOU.
48
00:01:41,398 --> 00:01:42,998
BATHING SUITS ON.
LET'S GO.
49
00:01:43,165 --> 00:01:44,765
TOTALLY,
TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.
50
00:01:44,931 --> 00:01:46,331
- MOM, PLEASE. GET INSIDE.
- RUDE.
51
00:01:46,499 --> 00:01:48,339
INCONSIDERATE.
SELFISH.
52
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:52,430
ANOTHER MORNING POWER WALK
RUINED BY DOG POOP.
53
00:01:52,601 --> 00:01:54,571
THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME
THIS WEEK ON OUR LAWN.
54
00:01:54,734 --> 00:01:56,694
AND EVERYBODY KNOWS, HONEY,
55
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,707
IF YOUR DOG RELEASES,
YOU GOTTA PICK UP THE PIECES.
56
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,838
HMM, HMM. HMM.
57
00:02:01,002 --> 00:02:01,932
[chuckles] REALLY?
58
00:02:02,103 --> 00:02:03,273
OH, YEAH.
59
00:02:03,436 --> 00:02:04,606
BETTER THAN YESTERDAY'S GEM.
60
00:02:04,769 --> 00:02:06,299
"IF YOUR DOG MAKES A DOODY,
61
00:02:06,470 --> 00:02:08,670
I'M CALLING JUDGE JUDY."
- HMM.
62
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,537
YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M GONNA FIND
OUT WHO'S DOING IT,
63
00:02:11,705 --> 00:02:13,105
AND I'M GONNA BRING HIM
TO JUSTICE.
64
00:02:13,272 --> 00:02:15,872
YEAH.
65
00:02:16,107 --> 00:02:17,477
SOUNDS LIKE A REAL
"POO DONE IT?"
66
00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:18,809
RIGHT HERE.
67
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,712
EMILY, DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING.
68
00:02:20,873 --> 00:02:22,113
COME ON.
69
00:02:22,274 --> 00:02:25,104
[upbeat music]
70
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:32,745
♪
71
00:02:43,479 --> 00:02:44,809
JOE, JUST WASH OFF
THE BOOGIE BOARD.
72
00:02:44,978 --> 00:02:46,278
LEAVE IT OUTSIDE, OKAY?
THANK YOU.
73
00:02:46,446 --> 00:02:47,776
DAVID...
74
00:02:47,946 --> 00:02:50,876
TOWELS?
FLIP-FLOPS? SAND TOYS?
75
00:02:51,115 --> 00:02:53,915
YOUR BRONZE GLOW THAT
EVEN THE GODS WOULD ENVY?
76
00:02:54,115 --> 00:02:55,385
YOU WENT TO BEACH WITHOUT ME?
77
00:02:55,548 --> 00:02:58,148
THAT'S OUR ONE RULE.
78
00:02:58,316 --> 00:03:01,316
SOME RULES ARE MEANT
TO BE BROKEN, KEVIN.
79
00:03:01,483 --> 00:03:03,413
IN FACT,
I'M BLOWING MY NAP OFF
80
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:06,453
AND GETTING JACKED UP
ON SUGAR.
81
00:03:06,618 --> 00:03:08,858
DON'T MAKE THIS A THING, KEVIN.
82
00:03:09,018 --> 00:03:10,548
IT'S YOUR THING.
83
00:03:10,719 --> 00:03:12,189
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID,
"KEVIN, NEVER LET ME
84
00:03:12,352 --> 00:03:13,392
"GO TO BEACH WITHOUT YOU
BECAUSE I FORGET
85
00:03:13,553 --> 00:03:14,863
TO PUT SUNSCREEN ON THE KIDS."
86
00:03:15,019 --> 00:03:16,159
NO, THAT WAS THE OLD DAVID.
87
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:17,690
YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW, KEVIN,
88
00:03:17,853 --> 00:03:19,883
I USED A BOTTLE OF SPF 30
ON JANIE
89
00:03:20,122 --> 00:03:23,792
AND ON MILKY WHITE JOE,
I PUT ON...
90
00:03:23,955 --> 00:03:26,125
STEEL SHIELD.
91
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,859
YEAH, THAT'S A BUG SPRAY, DAVID.
92
00:03:29,023 --> 00:03:30,723
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED
THE DEAD MOSQUITO
93
00:03:30,889 --> 00:03:33,199
LYING ON ITS BACK.
94
00:03:33,357 --> 00:03:35,497
I THOUGHT
IT WAS JUST SUNBATHING.
95
00:03:35,658 --> 00:03:37,728
IT WAS THE BEST DAY EVER, DAD.
96
00:03:37,891 --> 00:03:40,431
[gasps]
97
00:03:40,592 --> 00:03:41,462
WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?
98
00:03:41,626 --> 00:03:42,656
I DON'T KNOW.
99
00:03:42,826 --> 00:03:44,426
HE WASN'T THAT RED IN THE CAR.
100
00:03:44,593 --> 00:03:46,263
WHOO.
101
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,567
HEY, DAVID.
I GOT GREAT NEWS, MAN.
102
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,488
I GOT A CALL FROM
THE "DADS WHO CARE" PEOPLE.
103
00:03:50,661 --> 00:03:52,131
AND THEIR CHARITY WOULD LIKE
TO HONOR US,
104
00:03:52,295 --> 00:03:53,425
THE CREATORS
OF {\an8}SEE DAD RUN,
105
00:03:53,595 --> 00:03:56,125
AS CARING DADS OF THE YEAR.
106
00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:58,740
WE HAVE A NATIONAL RADIO
INTERVIEW THIS SATURDAY.
107
00:03:58,896 --> 00:04:00,436
THAT'S GREAT.
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
108
00:04:00,597 --> 00:04:02,907
THEY THINK I CARE.
- YEAH.
109
00:04:03,132 --> 00:04:05,602
DO THEY KNOW THAT YOU USE
BUG SPRAY AS SUNSCREEN?
110
00:04:05,765 --> 00:04:07,665
OH--
111
00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:09,792
[whispers] THAT IS THE WORST
SUNBURN I'VE EVER SEEN.
112
00:04:09,965 --> 00:04:11,765
WHAT DID YOU DO?
113
00:04:11,933 --> 00:04:13,633
IT'S JUST HIS FACE
A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW..
114
00:04:13,799 --> 00:04:15,329
AND BESIDES,
IT'S JUST A REMINDER
115
00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:16,830
OF THE GREAT DAY WE HAD,
RIGHT?
116
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:17,900
- [groans] AH.
- OOH.
117
00:04:18,135 --> 00:04:19,865
[pops lips]
118
00:04:20,035 --> 00:04:21,035
LET'S SEE WHAT WE'VE GOT
GOING ON HERE, JOE.
119
00:04:24,736 --> 00:04:26,506
NOTICE? NO BUG BITES.
120
00:04:26,670 --> 00:04:29,140
DAD, WHEN THE KIDS AT SCHOOL
SEE MY SUNBURN,
121
00:04:29,304 --> 00:04:31,004
THEY'RE GONNA KNOW WE WENT
TO THE BEACH.
122
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:32,871
YEAH, WELL,
UH, YOU KNOW, JOE,
123
00:04:33,038 --> 00:04:34,138
[stammers]
I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF THIS.
124
00:04:34,239 --> 00:04:35,579
I GOT AN IDEA, OKAY?
125
00:04:35,739 --> 00:04:37,749
KEVIN, CAN YOU RUN A BATH?
126
00:04:37,905 --> 00:04:39,145
OOH,
A COOL BATH DOES SOUND GOOD.
127
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,970
YEAH, RUN ONE FOR JOE TOO.
128
00:04:41,140 --> 00:04:42,040
OKAY, BUT MINE FIRST
'CAUSE I GOT SOME SAND
129
00:04:42,207 --> 00:04:42,467
IN MY NETHERS.
130
00:04:48,041 --> 00:04:50,341
MAKEUP?
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS, DAD.
131
00:04:50,508 --> 00:04:52,318
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT, JOE?
132
00:04:52,476 --> 00:04:54,146
LOOK, YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE
THE SUNBURN ANYMORE.
133
00:04:54,309 --> 00:04:56,179
NICE WORK, BLAKE.
- ANY TIME, DAVID.
134
00:04:56,344 --> 00:04:58,484
ALL RIGHT. YEAH, THANKS
FOR TOUCHING ME UP TOO.
135
00:04:58,644 --> 00:05:01,614
DAD, WHAT IF THE WHOLE SCHOOL
FINDS OUT THE TRUTH?
136
00:05:01,778 --> 00:05:05,018
JOE, I'M NOT EMBARRASSED THAT
I WEAR A TINTED MOISTURIZER.
137
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:06,839
I'M TALKING ABOUT ME, DAD.
138
00:05:07,012 --> 00:05:08,782
DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN I LIE?
139
00:05:08,946 --> 00:05:11,746
I'LL BE FARTING UP AND DOWN
THE HALLWAYS.
140
00:05:11,913 --> 00:05:14,983
PRICE OF FREEDOM, JOE.
PRICE OF FREEDOM.
141
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,788
OKAY.
NOW IT'S PERSONAL.
142
00:05:17,948 --> 00:05:20,448
I AM GOING DOOR TO DOOR
UNTIL I IDENTIFY
143
00:05:20,615 --> 00:05:23,155
WHO THIS BELONGS TO.
144
00:05:23,316 --> 00:05:25,316
DAD, PLEASE DO SOMETHING.
145
00:05:25,484 --> 00:05:27,614
SHE'S TURNING
INTO THE CRAZY POOP LADY.
146
00:05:27,784 --> 00:05:29,754
NOW I'VE NARROWED
THE CONTENTS DOWN
147
00:05:29,917 --> 00:05:32,587
TO EITHER THE FAZIO'S POODLE
OR THE GOLDSTEIN'S BICHON.
148
00:05:32,752 --> 00:05:34,352
HONEY, DO THESE SMELL
MORE LIKE
149
00:05:34,519 --> 00:05:36,649
MEATBALLS OR MATZOH BALLS
TO YOU?
150
00:05:36,819 --> 00:05:40,559
THEY SMELL LIKE CRAZY BALLS.
151
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,390
I REST MY CASE.
152
00:05:42,554 --> 00:05:44,224
YOU KNOW, WE'RE LIVING
IN A SOCIETY
153
00:05:44,388 --> 00:05:46,148
WHERE RULES ARE MEANT
TO BE FOLLOWED.
154
00:05:46,322 --> 00:05:48,762
DADDY SAYS RULES ARE MEANT
TO BE BROKEN.
155
00:05:48,922 --> 00:05:50,892
THAT'S ONLY THE STUPID ONES,
HONEY. COME ON.
156
00:05:51,056 --> 00:05:52,786
ALL RIGHT, JOE,
GO GET IN THE CAR.
157
00:05:52,956 --> 00:05:54,556
ALL RIGHT.
OH, DON'T PUT THE SEAT BELT ON.
158
00:05:54,723 --> 00:05:56,153
I DON'T WANT TO RUIN
YOUR MAKEUP.
159
00:05:56,291 --> 00:05:57,621
KIDDING.
IT'S A JOKE.
160
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:58,691
[laughs]
COME ON.
161
00:05:58,858 --> 00:05:59,918
OKAY, HONEY.
162
00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:01,829
JUST TO UNDERSTAND YOU,
163
00:06:01,992 --> 00:06:04,232
YOUR SOLUTION
TO JOE'S STRESS PROBLEM
164
00:06:04,393 --> 00:06:06,223
IS TO DITCH SCHOOL,
165
00:06:06,393 --> 00:06:08,393
GO TO THE BEACH,
AND LIE TO COVER IT UP.
166
00:06:08,561 --> 00:06:11,691
YOU UNDERSTAND ME COMPLETELY.
167
00:06:11,861 --> 00:06:13,831
IT'S WHY WE MAKE SUCH
A PERFECT TEAM.
168
00:06:13,994 --> 00:06:16,404
YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S GONNA
SCREW THINGS UP EVEN MORE?
169
00:06:16,562 --> 00:06:18,172
[sighs]
HONEY, IF I TOOK THE TIME
170
00:06:18,263 --> 00:06:19,893
TO THINK ABOUT
WHY I DO THINGS,
171
00:06:20,063 --> 00:06:22,193
I WOULDN'T HAVE TIME
TO DO ANYTHING.
172
00:06:22,364 --> 00:06:23,634
I'M GONNA GRAB
A CUP OF COFFEE.
173
00:06:23,797 --> 00:06:25,267
ANYBODY?
174
00:06:32,566 --> 00:06:34,566
UM, DUDE,
175
00:06:34,732 --> 00:06:36,802
I DON'T WANT TO FREAK YOU OUT,
176
00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:42,377
BUT I THINK YOUR FACE IS,
LIKE, MELTING.
177
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:44,205
all: EWW!
178
00:06:44,369 --> 00:06:45,569
ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S ENOUGH, CLASS.
179
00:06:45,735 --> 00:06:47,705
I AM CONCERNED ABOUT JOE.
180
00:06:47,869 --> 00:06:49,569
HE HAS NEVER MISSED
A DAY OF SCHOOL.
181
00:06:49,736 --> 00:06:51,176
ARE YOU OKAY, JOE?
182
00:06:51,271 --> 00:06:52,201
YEAH.
183
00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:53,341
I'M FINE.
184
00:06:53,504 --> 00:06:55,174
[flatulence]
185
00:06:57,672 --> 00:07:00,832
DOES ANYONE ELSE SMELL
SAUSAGE LINKS?
186
00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:02,505
NO, WAIT.
187
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,343
PATTIES.
188
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,907
JOE, UNFORTUNATELY,
I THINK
189
00:07:07,074 --> 00:07:10,744
I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
190
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:13,178
WELL, YOU'LL BE HAPPY
TO KNOW
191
00:07:13,276 --> 00:07:15,346
THAT MY TEACHER THINKS
I HAVE A HORRIBLE SKIN DISEASE.
192
00:07:15,509 --> 00:07:16,369
AW, JOE.
THAT'S AWFUL.
193
00:07:16,542 --> 00:07:18,242
BUT?
194
00:07:18,410 --> 00:07:19,780
NOBODY SUSPECTS ME
OF PLAYING HOOKY.
195
00:07:19,943 --> 00:07:20,943
- SO?
- THANK YOU?
196
00:07:21,178 --> 00:07:22,908
YOU'RE WELCOME.
197
00:07:23,077 --> 00:07:24,677
AH, IT'S NO WONDER
YOU'RE THE DADS WHO CARE
198
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:25,714
CO-CHAIR CO-CARING DAD
OF THE YEAR.
199
00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:27,188
UH-HUH.
200
00:07:27,312 --> 00:07:28,382
- DAD...
- HUH?
201
00:07:28,545 --> 00:07:30,245
I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP.
202
00:07:30,413 --> 00:07:31,213
THIS IS MORE PRESSURE
THAN THE STREAK.
203
00:07:31,380 --> 00:07:32,850
OH.
204
00:07:33,013 --> 00:07:34,853
JOE, TAKE IT EASY. LISTEN.
205
00:07:35,013 --> 00:07:36,713
I'M--I'M GONNA GO TO SCHOOL
WITH YOU TOMORROW,
206
00:07:36,881 --> 00:07:37,791
AND I'LL CLEAR
THE WHOLE THING UP, OKAY?
207
00:07:37,947 --> 00:07:38,647
THANKS, DAD.
208
00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:42,578
OKAY.
209
00:07:42,748 --> 00:07:44,378
I JUST ATE A BIG MEAL,
210
00:07:44,549 --> 00:07:46,349
AND I'M NOT WAITING
TO GO SWIMMING.
211
00:07:46,517 --> 00:07:50,017
LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
212
00:07:50,185 --> 00:07:51,815
[sighs]
213
00:07:51,984 --> 00:07:53,084
5 BUCKS SAYS SHE SINKS
LIKE A STONE.
214
00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,389
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND,
MR. HOBBS,
215
00:07:59,553 --> 00:08:01,363
BUT I MENTIONED JOE'S CONDITION
TO HIS CLASSMATES,
216
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,660
AND THEY REALLY WANTED
TO DO SOMETHING.
217
00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:05,260
OH, NO.
218
00:08:05,421 --> 00:08:07,321
UH, ALL RIGHT.
219
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:08,788
MRS. LEE, THERE'S SOMETHING
THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW.
220
00:08:08,954 --> 00:08:10,694
THE--
221
00:08:10,855 --> 00:08:12,895
[children chanting]
222
00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:17,560
YOUR SKIN CAN'T WIN.
223
00:08:17,724 --> 00:08:19,294
YOU'RE WAVING?
224
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,227
OH, IT'S JUST A REFLEX, JOE.
225
00:08:21,392 --> 00:08:22,862
MR. HOBBS,
226
00:08:23,025 --> 00:08:24,665
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN.
- HEY.
227
00:08:24,825 --> 00:08:26,525
WE'RE ALL PULLING
FOR YOUR BOY.
228
00:08:26,693 --> 00:08:28,033
WELL, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
229
00:08:28,194 --> 00:08:30,194
JUST TELL THEM.
230
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,100
I CAN'T.
IF WE TELL THEM THE TRUTH NOW,
231
00:08:32,260 --> 00:08:34,190
THEY'RE ALL GONNA FEEL SILLY
FOR CARING.
232
00:08:34,328 --> 00:08:35,358
[children chanting]
JOE! JOE!
233
00:08:35,528 --> 00:08:36,558
JOE! JOE! JOE! JOE!
234
00:08:36,728 --> 00:08:37,898
I'M SORRY! I LIED!
235
00:08:38,061 --> 00:08:39,331
I DON'T HAVE A SKIN DISEASE.
236
00:08:41,862 --> 00:08:42,822
IT'S A MIRACLE!
237
00:08:42,996 --> 00:08:44,436
HE'S CURED!
238
00:08:44,597 --> 00:08:47,537
[all cheering]
239
00:08:47,698 --> 00:08:48,558
OH, YEAH, YES!
240
00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:55,235
FILING A FALSE ABSENCE NOTE,
241
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,670
IMPERSONATING A FALSE DISEASE,
242
00:08:57,833 --> 00:09:01,833
ACCEPTING PUBLIC SYMPATHY
FOR SAID FALSE DISEASE,
243
00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:06,001
AND COMMITTING HOOKY.
244
00:09:06,202 --> 00:09:07,372
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN...
[clears throat]
245
00:09:07,535 --> 00:09:09,035
HERE'S THE THING.
246
00:09:09,203 --> 00:09:10,103
WE BOTH KNOW
THAT MY SON JOE
247
00:09:10,269 --> 00:09:11,939
IS A GOOD KID.
248
00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:13,273
HE REALLY IS.
HE'S NOT TO BLAME HERE.
249
00:09:13,437 --> 00:09:15,507
IF THERE'S ANYBODY TO BLAME...
250
00:09:15,670 --> 00:09:17,970
IT'S THE SCHOOL.
251
00:09:18,205 --> 00:09:19,765
REALLY?
252
00:09:19,938 --> 00:09:21,738
AND AS THE LEADER
OF THAT SCHOOL,
253
00:09:21,905 --> 00:09:26,275
A LOT OF THAT BLAME LIES
WITH YOU, MY FRIEND.
254
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,110
I MEAN, LOOK AT THE PRESSURE
YOU PUT THESE KIDS ON.
255
00:09:28,274 --> 00:09:30,014
YOU KNOW, MY SON DEVELOPED
A TWITCH.
256
00:09:30,208 --> 00:09:31,838
THERE IT IS. LOOK AT THAT.
IT'S UNSIGHTLY.
257
00:09:32,008 --> 00:09:34,078
IS IT ANY WONDER HE NEEDED
A DAY OFF?
258
00:09:34,242 --> 00:09:35,742
AND I'LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING ELSE.
259
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,049
HE'S NOT ALONE
IN ALL OF THIS.
260
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,270
WHEN WE WENT TO THE BEACH,
261
00:09:38,443 --> 00:09:40,043
YOU KNOW WHAT WE SAW?
262
00:09:40,210 --> 00:09:41,340
WE SAW LACEY FISHER
AND HER MOTHER
263
00:09:41,510 --> 00:09:45,080
HANGING OUT ON A BOAT.
264
00:09:45,245 --> 00:09:47,215
NOW,
AS AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE DAD,
265
00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,218
I'D LIKE TO THINK
THAT YOU'D LIKE TO ACT
266
00:09:49,378 --> 00:09:51,618
AS AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE
PRINCIPAL AND APOLOGIZE.
267
00:09:51,779 --> 00:09:54,909
WOW.
268
00:09:55,079 --> 00:09:57,849
JOE, WOULD YOU STEP OUTSIDE,
SO I CAN TALK TO YOUR FATHER?
269
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,814
OOH, THIS ISN'T
GONNA END WELL.
270
00:10:00,981 --> 00:10:02,891
[laughs]
I'LL BE OUT IN A SECOND.
271
00:10:03,048 --> 00:10:04,418
HE JUST WANTS TO APOLOGIZE
TO ME IN PRIVATE.
272
00:10:04,582 --> 00:10:05,712
I GET IT.
273
00:10:05,882 --> 00:10:07,882
DID I SAY "WOW" ALREADY?
274
00:10:08,049 --> 00:10:11,989
'CAUSE IF I DID,
I SHOULD HAVE ADDED THIS TO IT.
275
00:10:14,218 --> 00:10:15,888
MR. HOBBS, YOU'VE INSPIRED ME.
276
00:10:16,051 --> 00:10:18,551
I'VE JUST DECIDED
TO INSTITUTE
277
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,979
A PARENT/STUDENT
DETENTION SESSION
278
00:10:21,152 --> 00:10:23,022
ON SATURDAYS.
- OH.
279
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:24,487
ONE THAT WILL HOLD PARENTS
EQUALLY ACCOUNTABLE
280
00:10:24,653 --> 00:10:26,053
FOR THEIR CHILDREN'S BEHAVIOR.
281
00:10:26,221 --> 00:10:28,661
OOH. YEAH.
282
00:10:28,821 --> 00:10:31,821
YOU KNOW, THE WIFE LOVES
HER SATURDAYS.
283
00:10:31,988 --> 00:10:33,388
BUT IF YOU THINK
IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO,
284
00:10:33,556 --> 00:10:35,196
SHE'LL BE HERE.
285
00:10:35,356 --> 00:10:37,586
AND WE'RE BACK TO "WOW."
286
00:10:42,791 --> 00:10:44,421
COME ON, GUYS.
287
00:10:44,591 --> 00:10:46,721
YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE
TO DETENTION.
288
00:10:46,891 --> 00:10:49,591
I DON'T WANT TO GO
TO STUPID DETENTION.
289
00:10:49,759 --> 00:10:51,299
WELL, SWEETIE,
YOUR DAD'S GOING WITH YOU.
290
00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:53,530
YOU SHOULD FOLLOW HIS EXAMPLE.
291
00:10:53,693 --> 00:10:56,463
I DON'T WANT TO GO
TO STUPID DETENTION.
292
00:10:56,628 --> 00:10:58,498
SO WERE YOU AND MARCUS
AT LEAST ABLE TO RESCHEDULE
293
00:10:58,661 --> 00:11:00,361
THE "DADS WHO CARE" INTERVIEW?
294
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:02,029
NO. IT'S LIVE RADIO,
295
00:11:02,230 --> 00:11:04,100
SO WE'RE LOCKED IN.
- OH.
296
00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:06,093
GONNA HAVE TO DO THE INTERVIEW
FROM STUPID DETENTION.
297
00:11:06,264 --> 00:11:08,034
I'M GOING BACK TO BED.
298
00:11:08,231 --> 00:11:12,661
I STAYED UP LATE
WATCHING {\an8}TITANIC.
299
00:11:12,832 --> 00:11:15,032
SPOILER ALERT:
THE SHIP SINKS.
300
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,360
IT'S NOT A TOTAL LOSS.
301
00:11:23,534 --> 00:11:26,334
THE FISHERS COULDN'T OUTRUN
THE LAW EITHER.
302
00:11:26,501 --> 00:11:28,971
HEY, LACEY.
I SEE WE BOTH GOT DETENTION.
303
00:11:29,135 --> 00:11:31,065
APPARENTLY, THE PRINCIPAL
GOT AN ANONYMOUS TIP
304
00:11:31,236 --> 00:11:33,536
THAT WE WERE ON A BOAT
THE OTHER DAY.
305
00:11:33,703 --> 00:11:35,303
YEAH, WELL,
IT'S LIKE I TELL
306
00:11:35,470 --> 00:11:37,300
MY YOUNG SON, JOE,
ALL THE TIME.
307
00:11:37,471 --> 00:11:38,601
IF YOU GONNA DO THE CRIME,
YOU GOTTA DO THE TIME.
308
00:11:38,771 --> 00:11:39,901
WHAT CRIME?
309
00:11:40,071 --> 00:11:42,011
I LOST MY MOTHER RECENTLY.
310
00:11:42,239 --> 00:11:46,339
WE WERE ON THAT BOAT SCATTERING
HER ASHES INTO THE SEA.
311
00:11:48,806 --> 00:11:51,646
THEY WERE STILL ON A BOAT.
312
00:11:51,807 --> 00:11:53,367
GOOD MORNING.
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE ALL--
313
00:11:53,541 --> 00:11:55,241
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN,
IF I MAY.
314
00:11:55,342 --> 00:11:56,482
I NOTICED THAT
THERE WASN'T ANY COFFEE
315
00:11:56,642 --> 00:11:57,712
TO GO WITH THOSE DOUGHNUTS
316
00:11:57,875 --> 00:11:59,745
SO I'D LIKE TO TREAT.
317
00:11:59,908 --> 00:12:01,776
I KNOW MRS. FISHER COULD USE
A LITTLE PICK-ME-UP.
318
00:12:01,776 --> 00:12:03,776
SO IF YOU'LL JUST LET ME
CALL MY ASSISTANT--
319
00:12:03,943 --> 00:12:06,313
THERE WILL BE NO CELL PHONES, EVERYONE.
320
00:12:06,477 --> 00:12:08,647
ADD THEIRS TO THE BOX.
321
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,151
THANK YOU.
322
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:12,522
THANK YOU.
323
00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:16,419
THEY'LL BE IN MY OFFICE
AT THE END OF THE DAY.
324
00:12:16,580 --> 00:12:18,980
NICELY PLAYED. VERY NICE.
325
00:12:19,147 --> 00:12:20,347
VERY NICE. I GET IT.
326
00:12:20,514 --> 00:12:22,254
OKAY, LISTEN. HERE'S THE THING.
327
00:12:22,348 --> 00:12:23,978
WHEN YOU'RE DONE
WITH YOUR LITTLE SHOW,
328
00:12:24,148 --> 00:12:25,088
I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT
LIVE INTERVIEW
329
00:12:25,249 --> 00:12:26,949
I HAVE TO DO,
330
00:12:27,115 --> 00:12:28,815
SO IF YOU WOULD SLIP ME BACK
THAT PHONE
331
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,912
WITHOUT ANYBODY SEEING,
THAT'D BE GREAT.
332
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,053
MR. HOBBS SEEMS TO THINK
THIS IS ALL FUN AND GAMES.
333
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:33,321
WELL, IT'S NOT.
334
00:12:33,484 --> 00:12:34,394
IS THAT CLEAR?
335
00:12:34,551 --> 00:12:36,821
YES, SIR.
336
00:12:36,984 --> 00:12:39,014
- STOP THAT.
- ABSOLUTELY.
337
00:12:39,252 --> 00:12:40,752
I'M NOT KIDDING.
DO YOU AND YOUR SON
338
00:12:40,918 --> 00:12:41,828
WANT TO BE HERE
AGAIN NEXT WEEK?
339
00:12:41,985 --> 00:12:43,025
OH, NO, SIR.
340
00:12:43,253 --> 00:12:44,323
THAT'S ANOTHER WEEK.
341
00:12:44,486 --> 00:12:46,246
OH, I'M IN BIG TROUBLE.
342
00:12:46,354 --> 00:12:48,364
- AND ANOTHER.
- DAD, YOU'RE KILLING ME.
343
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:49,420
WAIT A MINUTE, HE'S SERIOUS?
344
00:12:49,587 --> 00:12:51,157
AND ANOTHER!
345
00:12:51,321 --> 00:12:53,321
[groans]
THIS STUPID DETENTION!
346
00:12:57,956 --> 00:12:59,716
THIS STAKEOUT'S
THE ONLY WAY
347
00:12:59,890 --> 00:13:02,260
WE'RE GONNA SNIFF OUT
THE POOP-A-TRAITOR.
348
00:13:02,424 --> 00:13:04,624
WHAT IF THEY'RE ALREADY GONE
AND ON THE RUNS?
349
00:13:04,791 --> 00:13:07,091
[laughs]
350
00:13:07,259 --> 00:13:09,259
OKAY, THE FACT THAT WE'RE
OUT HERE IS BAD ENOUGH,
351
00:13:09,392 --> 00:13:11,262
BUT DO WE REALLY HAVE
TO KEEP MAKING POOP PUNS?
352
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:12,830
YES, WE DO-DO.
353
00:13:14,993 --> 00:13:16,753
ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE.
354
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,596
I HAVE TO MAKE
A FEW BUSINESS CALLS.
355
00:13:18,761 --> 00:13:20,791
BUT I'LL BE RIGHT OUT
IN THE HALLWAY.
356
00:13:20,961 --> 00:13:22,661
SO IF ANY OF YOU WERE
THINKING ABOUT JUMPING SHIP,
357
00:13:22,828 --> 00:13:24,528
MRS. FISHER...
358
00:13:24,696 --> 00:13:25,926
[sobs]
359
00:13:26,095 --> 00:13:27,125
DON'T.
360
00:13:41,267 --> 00:13:42,967
DAD?
361
00:13:43,132 --> 00:13:44,762
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
362
00:13:44,933 --> 00:13:47,273
IT'S BETTER
YOU DON'T KNOW, JOE.
363
00:13:47,434 --> 00:13:49,504
BUT I DO LIKE PEOPLE KNOWING
WHERE I AM AT ALL TIMES
364
00:13:49,668 --> 00:13:52,898
SO THEY DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
365
00:13:53,069 --> 00:13:54,709
I'M GONNA GO GET MY PHONE,
366
00:13:54,869 --> 00:13:56,739
I'M GONNA DO THE INTERVIEW,
OKAY?
367
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:58,973
FORGET ABOUT ME.
GO BACK WITH THE OTHER STUDENTS.
368
00:13:59,136 --> 00:14:01,006
OKAY.
369
00:14:01,171 --> 00:14:03,941
I DON'T WANT YOU HERE.
GO ON, NOW GET. GO.
370
00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:06,414
- FINE.
- THIS AIN'T NO LIFE FOR YOU.
371
00:14:06,572 --> 00:14:08,412
NO ARGUMENT HERE.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
372
00:14:08,573 --> 00:14:11,103
ARE YOU REALLY NOT GONNA
HELP ME? I'M YOUR DAD.
373
00:14:11,274 --> 00:14:13,574
FINE. I CAN'T GET IN
ANY MORE TROUBLE, SO...
374
00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:15,340
BEFORE YOU MAKE THAT CALL,
375
00:14:15,508 --> 00:14:17,068
WE'RE ABOUT TO CRAWL
INTO A VENT.
376
00:14:17,275 --> 00:14:18,905
SO LET'S SEE
HOW IT PLAYS OUT.
377
00:14:23,042 --> 00:14:24,272
FANTASIA,
378
00:14:24,410 --> 00:14:26,140
WOULD YOU HURRY UP, FANTASIA?
379
00:14:26,310 --> 00:14:28,340
THE CRAZY POOP LADY IS
ON TO US.
380
00:14:28,511 --> 00:14:31,181
LOOK, SHE'S EVEN GOT FLYERS
OUT IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
381
00:14:31,344 --> 00:14:33,274
MM, MM, MM, MM.
382
00:14:33,445 --> 00:14:35,945
DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHY LOOK.
DO YOUR BUSINESS.
383
00:14:36,112 --> 00:14:38,282
I DO IT IN FRONT OF YOU.
- OKAY, YOU GUYS.
384
00:14:38,446 --> 00:14:40,616
LUNCH BREAK IS OVER.
LET'S GET BACK INTO POSITION.
385
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,410
THEY'RE COMING.
COME ON.
386
00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:44,181
LET'S GO, GIRL. COME ON.
LET'S GO.
387
00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:50,188
THIS IS WORSE THAN
WHEN WE HAD TO WAIT FOR JOE
388
00:14:50,349 --> 00:14:52,389
AFTER HE SWALLOWED THE QUARTER
FROM HIS 50-STATE COLLECTION.
389
00:14:52,549 --> 00:14:54,879
YEAH, THE WEIRD THING WAS
THAT HE SWALLOWED A COLORADO,
390
00:14:55,049 --> 00:14:58,749
BUT POOPED OUT A HAWAII.
391
00:14:58,917 --> 00:15:03,117
ONLY MAGIC TRICK
HE EVER PULLED OFF.
392
00:15:03,286 --> 00:15:04,356
GREAT.
393
00:15:04,519 --> 00:15:06,379
NOW WE'RE STUCK HERE.
394
00:15:06,553 --> 00:15:08,823
HOW COME I COULDN'T FALL
IN LOVE WITH A MANLY DOG
395
00:15:08,987 --> 00:15:11,487
THAT I WASN'T AFRAID
TO BE SEEN WITH?
396
00:15:11,654 --> 00:15:12,114
[babbles]
397
00:15:16,088 --> 00:15:17,158
HOW YOU DOING BACK THERE, DAD?
398
00:15:17,322 --> 00:15:19,292
YEAH, I'M GOOD.
399
00:15:19,423 --> 00:15:21,193
I'M NO STRANGER TO CLIMBING
THROUGH VENTS.
400
00:15:21,356 --> 00:15:22,656
SEASON TWO WE DID
AN EPISODE CALLED
401
00:15:22,823 --> 00:15:25,533
{\an8}SEE DAD VENT HIS FRUSTRATION.
402
00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:28,461
- OH, I LOVE THAT ONE.
- YEAH.
403
00:15:28,625 --> 00:15:30,825
AMERICA LOVES CLIMBING
THROUGH VENTS.
404
00:15:30,992 --> 00:15:32,762
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHERE YOU'RE GOING?
405
00:15:32,925 --> 00:15:34,765
OKAY.
406
00:15:34,926 --> 00:15:38,196
WE'RE RIGHT ABOVE
THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE.
407
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:39,430
OKAY.
408
00:15:39,594 --> 00:15:40,624
LET'S PUSH THIS DOWN.
409
00:15:40,794 --> 00:15:41,494
[clanging]
410
00:15:43,028 --> 00:15:43,928
ALMOST THERE.
411
00:15:44,095 --> 00:15:45,565
OOH!
412
00:15:49,729 --> 00:15:51,529
IT'S OKAY, DAD.
THE FLOOR BROKE MY FALL.
413
00:15:51,697 --> 00:15:55,137
OH, GOOD.
NOW GO GRAB THE PHONE.
414
00:15:55,298 --> 00:15:57,038
I GOT IT.
415
00:15:57,198 --> 00:15:59,038
DEAR, I PROMISE
I'LL BE HOME BY 4:00.
416
00:15:59,198 --> 00:16:02,568
YES, I'M HAVING THE YOGURT
THAT YOU PACKED ME.
417
00:16:02,733 --> 00:16:04,303
IT'S TEMPLEMAN!
418
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,770
- OH!
- SAVE YOURSELF.
419
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:09,303
AND DO THE INTERVIEW, DAD.
DO IT FOR AMERICA.
420
00:16:09,434 --> 00:16:11,474
NO, MARGARET.
421
00:16:11,635 --> 00:16:14,405
I DID NOT STOP FOR DOUGHNUTS,
AND I RESENT THE ACCUSATION.
422
00:16:14,568 --> 00:16:15,698
WELL, APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
423
00:16:15,868 --> 00:16:19,308
YES, I LOVE YOU TOO.
424
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,937
AH, SATURDAYS.
425
00:16:21,103 --> 00:16:24,503
IT'S BEAR CLAW TIME.
426
00:16:24,671 --> 00:16:26,571
MARGARET SAID
I SHOULDN'T EAT YOU.
427
00:16:26,738 --> 00:16:32,208
[growling]
428
00:16:34,172 --> 00:16:36,402
[cell phone rings]
429
00:16:36,574 --> 00:16:39,914
HELLO?
THIS IS HE.
430
00:16:40,074 --> 00:16:42,614
WELL, YEAH.
I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU
431
00:16:42,775 --> 00:16:46,175
THAT I'M HONORED
TO HAVE BEEN CHOSEN.
432
00:16:46,343 --> 00:16:47,743
AM I WHISPERING?
433
00:16:47,910 --> 00:16:50,170
I DON'T THINK SO.
434
00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:53,144
MARCUS, ARE YOU THERE?
MAYBE THEY CAN HEAR YOU BETTER.
435
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:54,212
YES, I'M HERE.
436
00:16:54,378 --> 00:16:55,548
WHAT?
437
00:16:55,712 --> 00:17:00,622
NO, I'M NOT WHISPERING EITHER.
438
00:17:00,779 --> 00:17:03,419
WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO SAY IS
WE ARE NOT WHISPERING.
439
00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:06,010
AND WE BOTH CARE.
440
00:17:06,180 --> 00:17:08,420
YES, AND WE BOTH WANT
TO BE GOOD ROLE MODELS
441
00:17:08,581 --> 00:17:10,321
AND SET A GOOD EXAMPLE
FOR OUR CHILDREN.
442
00:17:10,482 --> 00:17:11,552
EXACTLY.
443
00:17:11,716 --> 00:17:13,416
BEING STAND-UP CITIZENS
444
00:17:13,582 --> 00:17:14,852
AND WALKING PROUDLY
IN THE COMMUNITY.
445
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,682
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN.
446
00:17:26,852 --> 00:17:29,422
JOE, HOW LONG
HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?
447
00:17:29,586 --> 00:17:33,796
SINCE THE BEAR CLAW FIGHT.
448
00:17:33,954 --> 00:17:36,994
YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF,
YOUNG MAN?
449
00:17:37,154 --> 00:17:39,524
I WANTED TO GET
MY DAD'S PHONE BACK
450
00:17:39,688 --> 00:17:41,728
SO HE COULD DO HIS INTERVIEW.
451
00:17:41,889 --> 00:17:43,989
YOU SEE, HE'S A ROLE MODEL
FOR SO MANY PEOPLE.
452
00:17:44,156 --> 00:17:45,766
I JUST DIDN'T WANT HIM
TO LET THEM DOWN.
453
00:17:45,923 --> 00:17:48,433
SO I CRAWLED THROUGH THE VENT
454
00:17:48,590 --> 00:17:50,560
AND I WAS GONNA GIVE HIM
HIS PHONE BACK.
455
00:17:50,725 --> 00:17:52,625
THE WHOLE THING WAS MY IDEA.
456
00:17:52,791 --> 00:17:54,051
WELL, JOE, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE A ROLE MODEL
457
00:17:54,225 --> 00:17:55,465
FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE AS WELL.
458
00:17:55,626 --> 00:17:57,996
I GUESS I WAS WRONG.
459
00:17:58,159 --> 00:17:59,459
YOU WERE WRONG.
460
00:17:59,627 --> 00:18:01,857
ABOUT BEING WRONG.
461
00:18:02,027 --> 00:18:03,757
JOE IS A ROLE MODEL.
462
00:18:03,928 --> 00:18:05,868
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?
463
00:18:06,028 --> 00:18:08,498
SINCE THE BEAR CLAW FIGHT.
464
00:18:08,662 --> 00:18:11,402
WE BOTH SAW IT.
465
00:18:11,563 --> 00:18:13,503
PRINCIPAL TEMPLEMAN,
466
00:18:13,663 --> 00:18:17,233
JOE IS NOT THE GUILTY ONE.
AND NEITHER IS THE SCHOOL.
467
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:20,567
AND NEITHER ARE YOU.
I AM.
468
00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:22,802
AND IF JOE WAS FEELING
ANY PRESSURE AT ALL,
469
00:18:22,965 --> 00:18:26,805
HE'S FEELING WAY MORE NOW
BECAUSE OF ME.
470
00:18:26,966 --> 00:18:31,196
AND HERE HE IS STILL TRYING
TO TAKE THE FALL FOR ME.
471
00:18:31,368 --> 00:18:33,138
WELL, I'M NOT GONNA LET
THAT HAPPEN THIS TIME.
472
00:18:33,335 --> 00:18:34,775
I'M GONNA TAKE THE FALL FOR HIM.
473
00:18:39,969 --> 00:18:44,039
A LITTLE ON THE NOSE, BUT OKAY.
474
00:18:44,203 --> 00:18:45,903
YES,
THAT'S THE TYPE OF FATHER
475
00:18:46,070 --> 00:18:47,370
WE USED TO DEPICT ON THE SHOW.
476
00:18:47,538 --> 00:18:50,168
SOMEONE--UGH.
477
00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:53,769
WHO WOULDN'T HIDE
FROM RESPONSIBILITY.
478
00:18:53,939 --> 00:18:55,909
TAZEY, COME BACK HERE.
479
00:18:56,073 --> 00:18:56,903
YOU KNOW WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE HIDING.
480
00:18:57,073 --> 00:18:57,903
TAZEY.
481
00:18:58,073 --> 00:19:00,343
[gasps]
482
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:03,077
SOMEBODY'S DOG, LOOK LIKE
A SKUNK DOG RAN THROUGH THERE.
483
00:19:03,241 --> 00:19:04,511
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET
A PICTURE OF IT.
484
00:19:04,675 --> 00:19:06,905
MARCUS?
485
00:19:07,075 --> 00:19:09,445
LOOK, I GOTTA GO.
IT'S BEEN HONOR. BYE.
486
00:19:09,609 --> 00:19:12,219
WHEN DID YOU GET A DOG?
487
00:19:12,377 --> 00:19:14,717
OH, LOOK AT HER.
488
00:19:14,877 --> 00:19:17,347
IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS.
489
00:19:17,445 --> 00:19:20,405
LOOK, MY CIGAR SHOP IS
RIGHT NEXT TO A DOG RESCUE.
490
00:19:20,579 --> 00:19:22,779
SO I WAS UP TO SIX CIGARS A DAY
491
00:19:22,946 --> 00:19:24,886
JUST SO I COULD SEE HER
IN THE WINDOW.
492
00:19:25,047 --> 00:19:28,187
FINALLY, I HAD TO TAKE
MY LITTLE TAZEY HOME.
493
00:19:28,348 --> 00:19:30,478
THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK UP
AFTER TAZEY?
494
00:19:30,648 --> 00:19:32,378
[sighs]
I JUST COULDN'T DO IT.
495
00:19:32,549 --> 00:19:34,889
I FELT LIKE EVERY TIME
I THREW HER POOP AWAY,
496
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:40,219
I WAS THROWING A PIECE
OF HER AWAY.
497
00:19:40,384 --> 00:19:42,484
LOOK AT THIS FACE.
DO YOU BLAME ME?
498
00:19:42,651 --> 00:19:45,421
[gasps] WHO'S A LITTLE
SCHMOOTZIE WOOTZIE BEAR?
499
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,485
WHO'S GOT
THE CUTEST LITTLE FACE?
500
00:19:47,652 --> 00:19:48,812
[laughs]
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US
501
00:19:48,985 --> 00:19:50,415
YOU GOT A DOGGY-WOGGY?
502
00:19:50,586 --> 00:19:52,126
THAT'S WHY.
503
00:19:52,354 --> 00:19:54,124
DID HE SCARE YOU?
IT'S OKAY.
504
00:19:54,354 --> 00:19:55,394
LET'S GO HOME AND CUDDLE
AND WATCH BASKETBALL.
505
00:20:01,788 --> 00:20:03,588
"DEAR KEVIN,
506
00:20:03,756 --> 00:20:05,456
"WE ACCEPT THE FACT THAT
YOU GET A LITTLE UPSET
507
00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,492
"WHEN WE LEAVE
FOR THE BEACH WITHOUT YOU.
508
00:20:07,657 --> 00:20:09,757
BUT YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT
THIS FAMILY FOR WHO WE ARE."
509
00:20:09,923 --> 00:20:11,393
{\an8}[Don't You (Forget About Me)
by Simple Minds]
510
00:20:11,558 --> 00:20:13,828
"A CRAZY POOP LADY."
511
00:20:13,991 --> 00:20:17,001
"THE EMBARRASSED DAUGHTER
OF A CRAZY POOP LADY."
512
00:20:17,159 --> 00:20:19,799
"A RULE BREAKER."
513
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,660
"AN ATTENDANCE JUNKIE."
514
00:20:22,826 --> 00:20:24,956
"A LITTLE DOGGY LOVER."
515
00:20:25,127 --> 00:20:27,797
"AND AMERICA'S
NUMBER ONE DAD.
516
00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:29,661
"BUT ONE THING
WE KNOW FOR SURE--
517
00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:31,538
"WE'RE BETTER
WHEN WE'RE ALL TOGETHER.
518
00:20:31,696 --> 00:20:33,336
"WHICH INCLUDES YOU, KEVIN.
519
00:20:33,496 --> 00:20:35,106
"SO NO, WE DIDN'T FORGET
ABOUT YOU.
520
00:20:35,263 --> 00:20:36,133
NOW HURRY UP,
WE'RE IN THE CAR."
521
00:20:36,296 --> 00:20:37,926
YES!
522
00:20:38,867 --> 00:20:40,097
♪
523
00:20:40,098 --> 00:20:40,568
* DON'T YOU
524
00:20:40,618 --> 00:20:45,168
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