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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:12,315 ANYONE NOTICE THE LOOKS I'M GETTING 2 00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,666 FROM THOSE TWO FINE YOUNG LADIES? 3 00:00:14,794 --> 00:00:17,964 MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I'VE RECENTLY GROWN OUT MY MUSTACHE. 4 00:00:18,099 --> 00:00:19,399 - MM. - [laughs] YEAH. 5 00:00:19,534 --> 00:00:21,104 OR THEY'RE MESMERIZED BY THAT 6 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:23,189 SPAGHETTI SIDEBURN YOU'RE SPORTING. 7 00:00:23,316 --> 00:00:25,616 [chuckles] - OH, MAN. 8 00:00:25,751 --> 00:00:26,801 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? 9 00:00:26,925 --> 00:00:28,535 HERE THEY ARE. MY FAVORITE PEOPLE! 10 00:00:28,664 --> 00:00:29,884 all: HEY! 11 00:00:30,013 --> 00:00:31,323 - MARIO. - HI. 12 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:32,658 DAVID, GREAT TO SEE YOU. 13 00:00:32,796 --> 00:00:34,006 OH, MAN, EVERYTHING WAS FANTASTIC, THANK YOU. 14 00:00:34,143 --> 00:00:35,753 I SEE EVERYONE HAD THE HOBBS SPECIAL. 15 00:00:35,883 --> 00:00:38,103 LIKE WE HAD A CHOICE. 16 00:00:38,231 --> 00:00:40,451 DON'T YOU RUN OFF. I HAVE TIRAMISU FOR EVERYBODY. 17 00:00:40,579 --> 00:00:41,619 - NICE. - OOH, TIRAMISU. 18 00:00:41,753 --> 00:00:43,103 TIRAMISU, TIRAMISU. 19 00:00:43,231 --> 00:00:46,231 [giggles] 20 00:00:46,362 --> 00:00:47,972 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE REST OF THE CLASS, EMILY? 21 00:00:48,102 --> 00:00:50,582 I'M SNAP-TALKING WITH MATTHEW. 22 00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:53,360 I SENT HIM A PICTURE OF MY PASTA SHAPED LIKE A SMILEY FACE, 23 00:00:53,493 --> 00:00:55,453 AND HE SENT ME A PICTURE OF A HEART MADE OUT OF KETCHUP, 24 00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:56,970 SO THEN I SENT HIM-- 25 00:00:57,103 --> 00:01:00,153 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. DON'T RUIN THE ENDING FOR ME. 26 00:01:04,538 --> 00:01:06,148 HI. - SORRY TO INTERRUPT. 27 00:01:06,277 --> 00:01:09,017 WE HEARD CELEBRITIES EAT HERE. 28 00:01:09,147 --> 00:01:10,537 COULD WE BOTHER YOU FOR A PICTURE? 29 00:01:10,668 --> 00:01:14,418 OH, WELL. OKAY, SURE. 30 00:01:20,018 --> 00:01:22,668 WHY DON'T THOSE LADIES WANT YOUR PICTURE, MOMMY? 31 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,280 'CAUSE NOBODY WATCHES SOAP OPERAS ANYMORE. 32 00:01:24,409 --> 00:01:26,889 SO NOBODY CARES WHO MOMMY IS, SWEETIE. 33 00:01:27,019 --> 00:01:29,579 ALL RIGHT. LET'S JUST DO THIS THING. 34 00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:31,844 OOH. - AY YI YI. 35 00:01:31,975 --> 00:01:34,065 WELL, UM, WE'LL-- 36 00:01:34,193 --> 00:01:35,753 WE'LL GET THAT ONE TO GO. 37 00:01:35,889 --> 00:01:38,409 - YEAH. - UM... 38 00:01:41,194 --> 00:01:43,544 EMILY, EMILY, YOU'VE BEEN ON THAT PHONE ALL NIGHT, 39 00:01:43,672 --> 00:01:45,322 AND IT'S FAMILY NIGHT. COME ON. 40 00:01:45,455 --> 00:01:49,115 YOU KEEP THIS UP, I'M GONNA TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU. 41 00:01:49,238 --> 00:01:51,798 IT'S LIKE WE'RE RAISING A FOREHEAD. 42 00:01:51,933 --> 00:01:54,113 HEY! MAYBE--MAYBE THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND. 43 00:01:54,238 --> 00:01:55,418 I SET UP A SMART ALERT FOR DAVID HOBBS. 44 00:01:55,543 --> 00:01:57,153 NOW ANY TIME YOUR NAME POPS UP ON THE INTERNET, 45 00:01:57,282 --> 00:02:01,332 I GET AN ALERT. ABOUT MY DADDY. 46 00:02:01,457 --> 00:02:03,017 REALLY? NICE. [phone chirps] 47 00:02:03,152 --> 00:02:06,032 - WHOA. - WHAT? 48 00:02:06,152 --> 00:02:08,152 WHAT? WHAT? - UH-OH. 49 00:02:08,283 --> 00:02:09,153 WHAT IS IT? 50 00:02:09,284 --> 00:02:13,554 [techno music] 51 00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,195 [British accent] DOES AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE DAD 52 00:02:15,327 --> 00:02:19,157 TREAT HIS KIDS LIKE THEY'RE NUMBER TWO? 53 00:02:19,284 --> 00:02:21,414 THIS IS MITCH KROFT, AND, DAVID HOBBS... 54 00:02:21,545 --> 00:02:23,505 YOU HAVE BEEN MITCH-SLAPPED! 55 00:02:23,633 --> 00:02:26,113 [slap] 56 00:02:26,241 --> 00:02:28,161 IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 57 00:02:28,285 --> 00:02:31,285 SURE, YOU JUST KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT. 58 00:02:33,460 --> 00:02:36,330 [upbeat music] 59 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:44,160 ♪ 60 00:02:55,201 --> 00:02:56,241 I WAS AS SURPRISED AS ANYONE TO SEE HOW 61 00:02:56,375 --> 00:02:58,335 DAVID HOBBS TREATS HIS SON. 62 00:02:58,462 --> 00:03:04,252 I MEAN, IT WENT FROM INNOCENT DESSERT TO TERROR...MISU. 63 00:03:06,332 --> 00:03:11,212 OUCH. 64 00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:12,413 I KNOW I'M YOUR FAVORITE, 65 00:03:12,550 --> 00:03:15,080 BUT CAN YOU MAKE IT A LITTLE LESS OBVIOUS? 66 00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:19,293 - DAD. - YEAH? 67 00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:20,810 WHY DID THAT GUY LIE ABOUT YOU? 68 00:03:20,942 --> 00:03:22,122 YOU DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE. 69 00:03:22,247 --> 00:03:24,337 UNLESS I DID SOMETHING TO ANNOY YOU. 70 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,075 'CAUSE SOMETIMES I DO THIS NERVOUS RAMBLING THING 71 00:03:26,204 --> 00:03:28,554 THAT BUGS PEOPLE, AND I DON'T REALLY REALIZE I'M DOING IT-- 72 00:03:28,682 --> 00:03:31,512 JOE, JOE, JOE, JOE. YOU'RE DOING IT. 73 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:33,079 IT'S JUST WHAT THESE PEOPLE DO, SWEETIE. 74 00:03:33,205 --> 00:03:35,115 THEY TAKE PICTURES OF CELEBRITIES, 75 00:03:35,248 --> 00:03:37,688 AND THEY TRY TO MAKE US LOOK BAD, FOR MONEY. 76 00:03:37,814 --> 00:03:38,854 HMM? OKAY. - ALL RIGHT? 77 00:03:38,988 --> 00:03:39,728 GO GET READY FOR SCHOOL, PAL. 78 00:03:39,857 --> 00:03:41,207 ALL RIGHT. 79 00:03:41,335 --> 00:03:42,415 IF I EVER DO SOMETHING TO ANNOY YOU, 80 00:03:42,553 --> 00:03:44,083 YOU CAN JUST TELL ME, SO THEN I'LL BE AWARE OF IT-- 81 00:03:44,206 --> 00:03:47,646 JOE... YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN. 82 00:03:47,771 --> 00:03:49,901 OOH, I'M SORRY. 83 00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:54,563 DID I SAY "US CELEBRITIES"? MY MISTAKE. 84 00:03:54,684 --> 00:03:57,034 A REAL CELEBRITY HAS MORE THAN SEVEN PEOPLE 85 00:03:57,163 --> 00:04:00,993 FOLLOWING THEM...ON TWITTER. 86 00:04:01,121 --> 00:04:03,421 HONEY, AS SOON AS I FOUND OUT WHERE TWITTER IS, 87 00:04:03,555 --> 00:04:06,375 I WILL FOLLOW YOU THERE, OKAY? 88 00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:07,562 A CLIP OF YOU NAILING JOE 89 00:04:07,686 --> 00:04:09,866 HAS ALREADY GOTTEN 9,000 HITS ONLINE. 90 00:04:09,991 --> 00:04:11,291 EMILY, HONEY. YOU'RE--YOU'RE GONNA... 91 00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:14,435 [bang] 92 00:04:14,556 --> 00:04:18,296 DO THAT. 93 00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:21,296 YOU SHOULD HAVE TEXTED HER. 94 00:04:21,426 --> 00:04:23,296 - YOU OKAY WITH THIS? - WHAT? 95 00:04:23,426 --> 00:04:25,566 THE TABLOIDS CAN BE PRETTY ROUGH. 96 00:04:25,687 --> 00:04:26,727 WHAT? COME ON. 97 00:04:26,861 --> 00:04:28,041 THIS JUST GOES ALONG WITH BEING 98 00:04:28,166 --> 00:04:30,556 AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE DAD FOR TEN YEARS RUNNING. 99 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:31,908 RIGHT? COME ON. 100 00:04:32,037 --> 00:04:33,957 THEY'RE TRYING TO KNOCK ME OFF MY PEDESTAL. 101 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:35,380 I'M SURPRISED IT DIDN'T HAPPEN SOONER. 102 00:04:35,515 --> 00:04:38,085 OH, IT DID. 103 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,261 REMEMBER WHEN THEY WROTE YOU WERE HAVING 104 00:04:39,385 --> 00:04:43,775 A SCANDALOUS AFFAIR WITH SOPHIA VERGERA? 105 00:04:43,907 --> 00:04:49,307 OH, YEAH. 106 00:04:49,429 --> 00:04:52,959 THE HUMANITY. 107 00:04:57,995 --> 00:05:00,745 - OW! - OH. 108 00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:04,905 JUST RELAX, AND DADDY WILL TAKE CARE OF THIS, OKAY? 109 00:05:11,388 --> 00:05:13,168 YEAH. 110 00:05:13,301 --> 00:05:14,871 ALL RIGHT. WHAT DO YOU THINK, HUH? 111 00:05:14,997 --> 00:05:19,957 DON'T YOU LOOK PRETTY? 112 00:05:20,084 --> 00:05:23,614 DOES IT LOOK PRETTY TO YOU? 113 00:05:23,737 --> 00:05:26,217 UM...NO, IT DOES NOT. 114 00:05:26,346 --> 00:05:32,046 AND YOU SAY YOU KNOW HAIR. 115 00:05:34,781 --> 00:05:36,091 AT LEAST ONE OF US LOOKS GOOD. 116 00:05:36,217 --> 00:05:37,397 [knock at door] 117 00:05:37,521 --> 00:05:38,951 YEAH? - HEY, HEY, DAVID. 118 00:05:39,086 --> 00:05:39,826 - MARCUS! - HEY, HEY. 119 00:05:39,955 --> 00:05:41,135 GOLF! MARCUS, GOLF. 120 00:05:41,260 --> 00:05:43,650 OOH! HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE. 121 00:05:43,782 --> 00:05:44,962 NO, NO, NO. 122 00:05:45,087 --> 00:05:46,477 HOUSTON DOES NOT HAVE A PROBLEM, MARCUS. 123 00:05:46,608 --> 00:05:47,788 WE DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM, OKAY? 124 00:05:47,913 --> 00:05:49,603 I NEED TO GOLF. I'M GOING INSANE IN THIS HOUSE. 125 00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:52,220 SERIOUSLY, I'VE HAD MORE TEA PARTIES THAN THE QUEEN. 126 00:05:52,348 --> 00:05:56,218 I AM--I AM A LEGEND IN "DUCK, DUCK, GOOSE." 127 00:05:56,349 --> 00:05:58,349 YOU KNOW WHAT "I SPY," MARCUS? YOU KNOW WHAT "I SPY"? 128 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,790 "I SPY" A GOLF COURSE. 129 00:06:01,915 --> 00:06:03,615 LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU, DAVID. 130 00:06:03,741 --> 00:06:06,481 EVERY MORNING MY WIFE GETS UP AND GOES DOWN TO HUCKELBERRY'S 131 00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:08,180 TO GET A DOZEN ECLAIRS. 132 00:06:08,307 --> 00:06:09,957 ALL RIGHT. YOU LIKE ECLAIRS. 133 00:06:10,089 --> 00:06:14,269 MAN, THAT DOZEN IS GONE BEFORE SHE GETS TO THE HOUSE. 134 00:06:14,394 --> 00:06:16,054 YOU LIVE TWO BLOCKS FROM THE STORE. 135 00:06:16,177 --> 00:06:17,527 DAVID, SHE DRIVES WITH HER KNEES. 136 00:06:17,655 --> 00:06:19,395 SHE DRIVES WITH HER KNEES. JUST LEANS--WITH THE KNEES. 137 00:06:19,525 --> 00:06:21,175 [munches] 138 00:06:21,308 --> 00:06:23,918 LISTEN. 139 00:06:24,048 --> 00:06:25,618 THE POINT IS, THEY HOLD THOSE ECLAIRS 140 00:06:25,743 --> 00:06:28,443 BECAUSE SHE IS CLOSE, PERSONAL FRIENDS WITH DAVID HOBBS. 141 00:06:28,569 --> 00:06:30,829 - I UNDERSTAND. - THIS MORNING? NO ECLAIRS. 142 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,840 AND SHE CAME HOME WITH THIS. 143 00:06:38,570 --> 00:06:39,830 THIS IS A PICTURE OF ME AND EMILY 144 00:06:39,961 --> 00:06:41,441 WHEN SHE WAS FIVE YEARS OLD, MARCUS. 145 00:06:41,571 --> 00:06:42,621 COME ON, THEY PULLED THIS OUT OF THE ARCHIVES. 146 00:06:42,745 --> 00:06:43,785 THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 147 00:06:43,919 --> 00:06:45,189 THIS IS MY FAVORITE GAME TO PLAY WITH HER. 148 00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:46,130 I'D HANG HER UPSIDE DOWN BY HER ANKLES. 149 00:06:46,266 --> 00:06:48,146 SHE LOVED IT. 150 00:06:48,267 --> 00:06:49,657 THIS GUY IS JUST TRYING TO DIG UP SOME DIRT. 151 00:06:49,788 --> 00:06:51,048 THERE'S NOTHING THERE. 152 00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:52,180 YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING, MAN, 153 00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:53,791 TO GET OUT IN FRONT OF THIS, ALL RIGHT? 154 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,060 YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING BIG, MAN. LOOK AT THIS. 155 00:06:56,181 --> 00:06:57,921 OH, COME ON. [phone rings] 156 00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,491 YOU KNOW WHAT, MARCUS? LOOK, MY--MY FANS, 157 00:07:00,616 --> 00:07:01,826 THEY STILL LOVE ME, AND THEN THEY'LL GO WITH ME 158 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,323 NO MATTER WHAT. 159 00:07:04,442 --> 00:07:05,352 OH, HANG ON. [phone beeps] 160 00:07:05,486 --> 00:07:07,666 HELLO? 161 00:07:07,790 --> 00:07:11,360 YES, THIS IS DAVID HOBBS, THE ONE AND ONLY. 162 00:07:11,487 --> 00:07:14,047 WHAT? WHY? 163 00:07:14,182 --> 00:07:15,712 NO, HANG--HANG ON A SECOND. 164 00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:19,095 THAT--THAT WAS A COMPLETE MISUNDERSTANDING. 165 00:07:19,227 --> 00:07:21,887 NO, I'M NOT RAISING MY VOICE. I'M FINE. 166 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,789 WELL NOW I'M RAISING MY VOICE 'CAUSE YOU CANCELED MY TEE TIME! 167 00:07:23,922 --> 00:07:26,932 HOW'S THAT? HELLO? 168 00:07:27,054 --> 00:07:29,444 OH, THEY CANCELED OUR TEE TIME, MARCUS. 169 00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:32,105 OH, THEY CANCELED OUR TEE TIME? 170 00:07:32,228 --> 00:07:35,358 - DID I HEAR "TEA TIME"? - NO. 171 00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,269 YEAH, I'LL HAVE A LITTLE CHAMOMILE WITH A LITTLE HONEY 172 00:07:37,402 --> 00:07:38,832 TO CALM MY NERVES. I'D LIKE A LITTLE... 173 00:07:38,967 --> 00:07:41,967 [knock at door] - HANG ON. 174 00:07:42,098 --> 00:07:43,438 HEY, GWEN, CHARLOTTE. 175 00:07:43,577 --> 00:07:46,227 [mouth full] HI, MR. HOBBS. 176 00:07:46,359 --> 00:07:48,489 JANIE'S ALL READY TO GO. 177 00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:49,970 OH, DAVID, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO COME SELL COOKIES? 178 00:07:50,099 --> 00:07:51,759 I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP. 179 00:07:51,881 --> 00:07:54,011 I CAN SORT OF CONTROL CHARLOTTE, 180 00:07:54,143 --> 00:07:57,673 BUT JANIE EATS THROUGH OUR PROFITS LIKE A SMALL BEAVER. 181 00:08:00,795 --> 00:08:02,755 OUT IN FRONT OF IT, DAVID. 182 00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:05,322 NOTHING SAYS "GOOD DAD" LIKE A GROWN MAN 183 00:08:05,448 --> 00:08:08,098 IN A LITTLE GIRL'S UNIFORM SELLING COOKIES. 184 00:08:10,014 --> 00:08:13,274 I LOOK GOOD IN A UNIFORM. 185 00:08:13,406 --> 00:08:16,066 YEAH, THIS IS KIND OF FUN. I'M GLAD I CAME HERE TODAY. 186 00:08:16,188 --> 00:08:18,148 WELL, I DO LOVE YOUR ENTHUSIASM. 187 00:08:18,275 --> 00:08:21,315 YOU'RE LIKE A BREATH OF BLUE AIR. 188 00:08:21,450 --> 00:08:22,630 I'M AN ACTOR. WHEN I GET INTO A ROLE, 189 00:08:22,754 --> 00:08:24,144 I GET INTO A ROLE. 190 00:08:24,276 --> 00:08:26,496 SO IF I'M A BLUE BONNET, I'M BLUE BONNET ALL THE WAY. 191 00:08:26,624 --> 00:08:28,324 YEAH, YEAH. I CAN SEE THAT. 192 00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:29,800 OH, HEY, CAN I GIVE YOU MY MAIL? 193 00:08:29,929 --> 00:08:32,889 SAVE ME A TRIP TO THE POST OFFICE? 194 00:08:33,016 --> 00:08:34,146 - YOU DONE? - [laughs] 195 00:08:34,277 --> 00:08:36,937 PROBABLY NOT, PAPA SMURF. 196 00:08:37,060 --> 00:08:37,840 ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE DONE. 197 00:08:37,973 --> 00:08:39,493 OKAY. 198 00:08:39,625 --> 00:08:42,805 ALL RIGHT, OUT OF 20. 199 00:08:42,930 --> 00:08:44,370 JUST WONDERING. 200 00:08:44,496 --> 00:08:46,846 DOES THAT GUY TAKING PHOTOS BOTHER YOU? 201 00:08:46,974 --> 00:08:48,624 [camera shutter clicking] 202 00:08:48,757 --> 00:08:50,677 IT SEEMS LIKE SUCH AN INVASION OF PRIVACY. 203 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,670 AH, JUST PART OF THE GAME. 204 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,800 ALL RIGHT, HERE YOU GO. 205 00:08:55,931 --> 00:08:59,321 THERE'S YOUR--YOUR MINT CHOCOLATE, RIGHT, OKAY? 206 00:08:59,453 --> 00:09:02,283 ATTABOY, COME ON. GIVE ME A HUG, YEAH. 207 00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:03,241 [camera shutter clicking] WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN? 208 00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:06,497 [laughs] HEY, HE'S VERY FUNNY. 209 00:09:06,628 --> 00:09:08,198 ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME A HIGH FIVE. THERE YOU GO. 210 00:09:08,324 --> 00:09:11,064 TAKE A FREE BOX. HERE YOU GO. 211 00:09:11,194 --> 00:09:12,984 YOU ENJOY. YOU HAVE A NICE AFTERNOON. 212 00:09:13,107 --> 00:09:15,977 OKAY. 213 00:09:16,107 --> 00:09:17,277 [bee buzzing] - DADDY, A BEE! 214 00:09:17,412 --> 00:09:18,622 - WHAT? WHAT? - OH! 215 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:19,900 - GET IT! GET IT! - ALLERGIC! I'M ALLERGIC! 216 00:09:20,021 --> 00:09:20,841 - [screams] - OKAY, ALL RIGHT! 217 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:25,247 [camera shutter clicking] 218 00:09:27,848 --> 00:09:29,978 DAVID HOBBS. OR, AS WE NOW CALL HIM, 219 00:09:30,109 --> 00:09:32,459 AMERICA'S ANGRIEST DAD EVER, 220 00:09:32,587 --> 00:09:34,597 IS AT IT AGAIN. 221 00:09:34,717 --> 00:09:37,497 WHAT'S WORSE THAN TAKING A LITTLE GIRL'S BOX OF COOKIES? 222 00:09:37,631 --> 00:09:39,421 BEATING HER WITH IT. 223 00:09:39,544 --> 00:09:42,454 SHAME ON YOU! THAT'S A DOUBLE MITCH-SLAP. 224 00:09:42,588 --> 00:09:44,068 [slap, slap] 225 00:09:44,197 --> 00:09:48,377 TRUTH STINGS, DOESN'T IT, DADDY? 226 00:09:48,502 --> 00:09:50,242 DAVID, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A HALF AN HOUR. 227 00:09:50,371 --> 00:09:51,771 WHY DON'T WE JUST GO SOMEPLACE ELSE? 228 00:09:51,893 --> 00:09:53,373 NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT. 229 00:09:53,502 --> 00:09:55,072 LOOK, MARIO JUST DOESN'T KNOW THAT WE'RE HERE. 230 00:09:58,459 --> 00:10:01,849 YEAH, YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT. 231 00:10:01,981 --> 00:10:03,031 - DADDY? - MM? 232 00:10:03,156 --> 00:10:06,026 YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD IN THAT PICTURE. 233 00:10:06,156 --> 00:10:10,036 THAT'S NOT DAD. IT'S JOHN STAMOS. 234 00:10:10,156 --> 00:10:13,246 [whispering] STAMOS! 235 00:10:13,374 --> 00:10:18,464 UH, RIGHT THIS WAY, MR. HOBBS. 236 00:10:18,592 --> 00:10:21,422 HEY, UH, MARIO, WHERE'S--WHERE'S MY PICTURE? 237 00:10:21,548 --> 00:10:22,808 AND WHAT HAPPENED TO MY TABLE? 238 00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:25,600 OH, UH, UM... THIS--THIS IS YOUR TABLE. 239 00:10:25,722 --> 00:10:30,112 I-I JUST MOVED IT, FROM OVER THERE TO OVER HERE. 240 00:10:30,245 --> 00:10:32,515 MORE PRIVACY FOR YOU. 241 00:10:32,636 --> 00:10:37,206 IT'S CLOSER TO THE KITCHEN. THE FOOD, IT COMES OUT HOTTER. 242 00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:40,981 UH-OH. 243 00:10:41,115 --> 00:10:42,425 - NO. - UGH. 244 00:10:42,550 --> 00:10:43,510 DON'T SAY IT. DON'T TELL ME MY SPECIAL'S 245 00:10:43,637 --> 00:10:45,857 OFF THE MENU. - OH, YEAH. 246 00:10:45,985 --> 00:10:50,165 IT LOOKS LIKE THEY SCRATCHED IT OFF WITH A KEY OR A KNIFE. 247 00:10:50,290 --> 00:10:52,460 OH, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. 248 00:10:52,595 --> 00:10:54,075 DAD, DON'T WORRY. I'M SURE EVERYTHING IS FINE. 249 00:10:54,204 --> 00:10:55,864 [sighs] [phone beeps] 250 00:10:55,986 --> 00:10:59,556 SIRI, WHO IS AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE TV DAD? 251 00:10:59,683 --> 00:11:01,333 [phone pings] 252 00:11:01,465 --> 00:11:04,125 FOR TEN YEARS, DAVID HOBBS HAS HELD THAT DISTINCTION. 253 00:11:04,249 --> 00:11:06,209 HOWEVER, DUE TO RECENT EVENTS... 254 00:11:06,336 --> 00:11:07,896 PLEASE TURN THAT OFF. 255 00:11:08,031 --> 00:11:09,341 DAD, DON'T GET SO ANGRY. 256 00:11:09,466 --> 00:11:11,076 I AM NOT ANGRY. 257 00:11:11,205 --> 00:11:14,255 THE NEAREST ANGER MANAGEMENT CENTER IS .5 MILES. 258 00:11:14,379 --> 00:11:16,549 AND WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT USING THAT DURING FAMILY TIME? 259 00:11:16,684 --> 00:11:17,814 I CAN MAKE YOU AN APPOINTMENT. 260 00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:19,075 YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S IT. 261 00:11:19,206 --> 00:11:20,076 I'M TAKING IT AWAY FROM YOU FOR A WEEK. 262 00:11:20,206 --> 00:11:21,946 - MOM! - DON'T "MOM." 263 00:11:22,077 --> 00:11:24,037 DIALING NOW. 264 00:11:24,164 --> 00:11:28,214 - ANGER MANAGEMENT CENTER. - MAKE IT STOP, HONEY. 265 00:11:28,338 --> 00:11:31,338 HE'LL CALL YOU BACK. OKAY, BYE. 266 00:11:31,468 --> 00:11:32,468 [door bangs] 267 00:11:40,469 --> 00:11:42,079 RESTORE DAVID'S RIGHTFUL PLACE 268 00:11:42,208 --> 00:11:44,298 AS AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE DAD, TAKE ONE. 269 00:11:47,904 --> 00:11:49,124 [grunting] 270 00:11:49,253 --> 00:11:50,383 - NO! GET-- - GIVE ME THAT! 271 00:11:50,514 --> 00:11:51,854 OH! - STOP IT! 272 00:11:51,992 --> 00:11:54,392 DROP THAT PURSE, COWARD! 273 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,254 [grunts] DAMN IT! 274 00:11:56,384 --> 00:11:57,954 OH! OH. 275 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:02,470 - I'LL SAVE THAT BABY! - [groans] 276 00:12:02,602 --> 00:12:03,742 GET BACK HERE, YOU! 277 00:12:03,863 --> 00:12:06,553 - OH! - THIEF! 278 00:12:06,689 --> 00:12:11,389 [struggling, crashing] 279 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:14,130 AND CUT! 280 00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:16,955 DID I LOOK HEROIC? 281 00:12:17,082 --> 00:12:18,562 THAT WAS GREAT. 282 00:12:18,690 --> 00:12:19,990 GREAT REHEARSAL. 283 00:12:20,125 --> 00:12:21,175 GOOD JOB. 284 00:12:21,299 --> 00:12:22,469 - WHOO-WHOO. - ALL RIGHT. 285 00:12:22,604 --> 00:12:25,174 MAN, WHEN WE FILM THIS ON LOCATION AND LEAK IT 286 00:12:25,299 --> 00:12:27,999 TO THE PRESS, YOUR IMAGE IS GONNA BE BACK ON TRACK. 287 00:12:28,126 --> 00:12:30,476 EXCELLENT. HEY, LISTEN, I-I AD-LIBBED "COWARD," 288 00:12:30,605 --> 00:12:31,785 BUT I THINK "DIRTBAG" MIGHT BE STRONGER. 289 00:12:31,908 --> 00:12:33,208 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 290 00:12:33,344 --> 00:12:35,224 A GREAT IDEA, DAVID. IT--I MUST HAVE READ YOUR MIND, 291 00:12:35,344 --> 00:12:37,824 BECAUSE I-I WROTE "DIRTBAG" IN THE SCRIPT. 292 00:12:37,953 --> 00:12:39,783 - OKAY. - WHAT-- 293 00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:41,599 THAT WAS VERY HEROIC, DAVID, 294 00:12:41,736 --> 00:12:42,736 UNTIL YOU KNOCKED THE BABY OUT THE DOOR. 295 00:12:42,867 --> 00:12:44,257 BUT, NO, STILL VERY HEROIC, 296 00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:47,608 'CAUSE IT'S NOT A REAL BABY, SO-- 297 00:12:47,736 --> 00:12:49,306 LISTEN, PEOPLE, THIS HAS GOT TO WORK, 298 00:12:49,433 --> 00:12:51,733 BECAUSE I'M--I'M STARTING TO LOSE THE PERKS OF BEING ME. 299 00:12:51,867 --> 00:12:54,437 AND WITHOUT MY PERKS I'M, YOU KNOW, JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. 300 00:12:54,563 --> 00:12:55,783 I-I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THAT. 301 00:12:55,911 --> 00:12:57,351 ALL RIGHT, OKAY PEOPLE, 302 00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:59,386 LET'S REHEARSE IT ONE MORE TIME, PLEASE. 303 00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:00,961 BACK TO ONE. LET'S DO THIS. 304 00:13:01,086 --> 00:13:02,956 [phone ringing] 305 00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:05,226 OH, HANG ON, HANG ON. 306 00:13:05,347 --> 00:13:06,387 YEAH, HANG ON. PHONE. 307 00:13:06,521 --> 00:13:08,221 [phone beeps] HELLO? 308 00:13:08,348 --> 00:13:09,868 [sighs] 309 00:13:09,999 --> 00:13:13,089 EMILY, IT'S FOR YOU! AGAIN! PICK IT UP. 310 00:13:13,217 --> 00:13:16,177 I'M DOING HOMEWORK, DAD. COULD YOU TAKE A MESSAGE? 311 00:13:16,304 --> 00:13:18,444 THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON ALL DAY. 312 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:24,435 [thick accent] JUST TELL HER LISA CALLED. 313 00:13:24,566 --> 00:13:26,486 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 314 00:13:26,610 --> 00:13:28,700 I'M USING MARY'S PHONE TO GET MY PHONE BACK. 315 00:13:28,827 --> 00:13:32,737 I AM THIS CLOSE TO DRIVING DAD TO THE EDGE. 316 00:13:32,871 --> 00:13:35,221 TAKE NOTE. YOU'LL BE DOING IT SOMEDAY. 317 00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:36,870 CAN I TRY? 318 00:13:37,002 --> 00:13:38,572 [deep voice] HI, DADDY. 319 00:13:38,698 --> 00:13:43,528 THIS ISN'T JANIE. 320 00:13:43,655 --> 00:13:48,355 WRONG, AND WAY TOO CREEPY. 321 00:13:48,481 --> 00:13:51,001 [phone ringing] 322 00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:54,224 [nasally] THIS IS BRENDA FOR EMILY. 323 00:13:54,352 --> 00:13:57,912 AND THAT'S NOT CREEPY? 324 00:13:58,048 --> 00:14:02,748 - EMILY! - STILL DOING HOMEWORK. 325 00:14:02,874 --> 00:14:04,484 - ALL RIGHT, YOU READY, DAVID? - OH, YES. 326 00:14:04,614 --> 00:14:06,874 YES, LET'S GO. - ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS. 327 00:14:07,005 --> 00:14:10,315 AND, ACTION! 328 00:14:10,441 --> 00:14:11,661 [phone ringing] - [grunts] 329 00:14:11,788 --> 00:14:13,308 - CUT! - HANG ON. 330 00:14:13,441 --> 00:14:14,571 THAT WAS GOOD. GOOD TILL THE END, GOOD TILL THERE. 331 00:14:14,702 --> 00:14:15,882 HANG ON A SECOND. 332 00:14:16,006 --> 00:14:17,356 [phone beeps] 333 00:14:17,484 --> 00:14:19,794 YEAH, LOOK, TALK TO HER AT SCHOOL, PLE-- 334 00:14:19,919 --> 00:14:22,609 OH, HI, MRS. BROOKS. 335 00:14:22,745 --> 00:14:24,835 MIS--NO, MRS. BROOKS. 336 00:14:24,963 --> 00:14:26,103 YOU--YOU CAN'T BELIEVE 337 00:14:26,224 --> 00:14:30,744 EVERYTHING YOU READ IN THE TABLOIDS. 338 00:14:30,877 --> 00:14:32,097 OKAY, FINE. 339 00:14:32,225 --> 00:14:33,665 IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU FEEL, I UNDERSTAND. 340 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,140 ALL RIGHT, GOOD-BYE. [phone beeps] 341 00:14:36,269 --> 00:14:37,489 JANIE'S PLAYDATE JUST CANCELED. 342 00:14:37,617 --> 00:14:40,747 THAT'S WHY WE'RE GETTING OUT IN FRONT OF THIS, MAN. 343 00:14:40,878 --> 00:14:42,668 RUN, JOE, RUN! 344 00:14:42,791 --> 00:14:45,441 AND PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE, YOU BUNCH OF BULLIES! 345 00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,452 WHAT HAPPENED? 346 00:14:50,574 --> 00:14:52,144 JOE WAS GETTING AMBUSHED ON THE FRONT LAWN, 347 00:14:52,271 --> 00:14:54,621 AND I HAD TO JUMP IN AND SAVE HIM. 348 00:14:54,749 --> 00:14:56,229 THE OLDER KIDS PICKING ON YOU, JOE? 349 00:14:56,358 --> 00:15:02,188 NO. IT WAS THE BLUE BONNETS. 350 00:15:02,315 --> 00:15:03,575 THEY'RE TOUGH, DAVID. 351 00:15:03,706 --> 00:15:05,666 I HAD FOUR OF THEM JUST CLAWING ON TO ME 352 00:15:05,794 --> 00:15:08,234 LIKE A BUNCH OF ANGRY KOALA BEARS, JUST-- 353 00:15:08,359 --> 00:15:09,399 YEAH. 354 00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:11,583 THEY YELLED, "REVENGE!" 355 00:15:11,707 --> 00:15:16,147 AND THEN THEY STARTED STUFFING COOKIES DOWN MY PANTS. 356 00:15:16,273 --> 00:15:18,143 IS--IS THIS ABOUT THE BEE THING? 357 00:15:18,273 --> 00:15:19,713 YEAH. BUT THE JOKE'S ON THEM. 358 00:15:19,838 --> 00:15:21,578 I LOVE WARM COOKIES. 359 00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:27,975 DADDY, WHEN'S MY FRIEND MOLLY COMING OVER? 360 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:32,410 OH, UM, MOLLY'S MOM JUST CANCELED THE PLAYDATE. 361 00:15:32,535 --> 00:15:36,055 WHY, DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG? 362 00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,448 NO. 363 00:15:39,579 --> 00:15:43,319 NO, YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, HONEY. 364 00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:44,670 MARCUS, THIS PRODUCTION IS OVER. 365 00:15:44,797 --> 00:15:46,887 LOOK, MY KIDS ARE STARTING TO GET HURT NOW, OKAY? 366 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,534 NO MORE GAMES. I GOTTA PUT A STOP TO THIS. 367 00:15:49,667 --> 00:15:51,367 AND, JOE, A QUICK LIFE LESSON. 368 00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:52,893 DON'T EAT COOKIES OUT OF YOUR UNDERWEAR. 369 00:15:53,015 --> 00:15:57,975 GOT IT. STARTING NOW. 370 00:15:58,103 --> 00:15:59,143 - DAD. - THANK YOU. YES? 371 00:15:59,277 --> 00:16:01,067 THE PHOTOGRAPHER GUY'S HERE AGAIN. 372 00:16:01,191 --> 00:16:02,581 I KNOW THAT, JOE. THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE. 373 00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,932 AS SOON AS MOM SHOWS UP, I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF HIM. 374 00:16:05,060 --> 00:16:06,500 WHY DO YOU NEED MOMMY? 375 00:16:06,626 --> 00:16:08,146 WELL, BECAUSE MOMMY IS LEVEL-HEADED, 376 00:16:08,278 --> 00:16:10,588 AND SHE WON'T LET THINGS GET OUT OF CONTROL. 377 00:16:10,713 --> 00:16:14,023 HOW DARE YOU! YOU PAPARAZZI BOTTOM-FEEDERS! 378 00:16:14,148 --> 00:16:16,188 DO YOU VULTURES HAVE ANY IDEA OF THE HEARTACHE 379 00:16:16,322 --> 00:16:17,672 YOU CAUSE WITH YOUR LIES? 380 00:16:17,801 --> 00:16:20,411 MY HUSBAND? HE'S A GOOD, GOOD MAN, OKAY? 381 00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:24,760 AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED! 382 00:16:24,888 --> 00:16:26,628 PLEASE DON'T HURT ME. 383 00:16:26,757 --> 00:16:28,627 I WAS JUST TAKING A PICTURE OF MY PARENTS. 384 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:35,758 WE'RE VISITING FROM MINNESOTA. 385 00:16:38,237 --> 00:16:40,237 THEY'VE GOT A STAMOS SPECIAL. 386 00:16:40,368 --> 00:16:44,068 VEAL, LEMON, CAPERS. 387 00:16:44,195 --> 00:16:47,245 THAT'S PICCATA. WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT THAT? 388 00:16:47,369 --> 00:16:51,109 MM, STAMOS. 389 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:57,157 [phone ringing] 390 00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,503 HELLO? 391 00:16:59,631 --> 00:17:02,331 HELLO, MARY. 392 00:17:02,457 --> 00:17:04,377 SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WEARING TO SCHOOL TOMORROW. 393 00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:07,320 TELL HER MY YELLOW BLOUSE WITH THE FRINGE. 394 00:17:07,458 --> 00:17:08,718 N-NO, TELL HER 395 00:17:08,848 --> 00:17:10,628 THE BABY BLUE LONG SLEEVE WITH THE SPARKLY-- 396 00:17:10,762 --> 00:17:11,722 MARY? MARY? SHE WILL CALL YOU BACK. 397 00:17:11,849 --> 00:17:15,459 GOOD-BYE. 398 00:17:15,588 --> 00:17:17,728 EMILY, I'M GIVING THIS BACK TO YOU. 399 00:17:17,849 --> 00:17:20,629 ONLY BECAUSE I THINK THAT YOU'VE LEARNED YOUR LESSON, OKAY? 400 00:17:20,763 --> 00:17:22,553 - ABSOLUTELY. LESSON LEARNED. - ALL RIGHT. 401 00:17:22,676 --> 00:17:26,026 HONEY? I'M THINKING WE SHOULD TAKE THE FOOD TO GO. 402 00:17:26,155 --> 00:17:27,195 - WHAT? - OUT THE BACK. 403 00:17:27,329 --> 00:17:28,509 GOOD IDEA. 404 00:17:28,634 --> 00:17:30,464 YEAH, THEY DON'T EVEN BRING US BREAD ANYMORE. 405 00:17:30,590 --> 00:17:32,630 - THEY TREAT US LIKE POO. - WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE. 406 00:17:32,764 --> 00:17:34,294 WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 407 00:17:34,416 --> 00:17:36,246 LOOK, IF I CAN TEACH YOU ANYTHING, 408 00:17:36,374 --> 00:17:38,284 IT'S TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, OKAY? 409 00:17:38,417 --> 00:17:39,507 NOW, SIT DOWN. 410 00:17:39,635 --> 00:17:42,165 [sighing] 411 00:17:42,287 --> 00:17:44,157 'CAUSE IT'S TIME TO STAND UP. 412 00:17:44,287 --> 00:17:47,467 NO, REALLY, JUST SIT DOWN. 413 00:17:47,592 --> 00:17:48,852 I'M GONNA STAND UP FOR YOU GUYS. 414 00:17:48,983 --> 00:17:52,333 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 415 00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:54,812 IT'S AMERICA'S ANGRIEST DAD! DON'T HURT ME. 416 00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:55,850 [childish voice] DON'T HURT ME. 417 00:17:55,984 --> 00:17:57,544 OH, WAIT, I FORGOT. 418 00:17:57,679 --> 00:17:58,989 I'M NOT A CHILD, SO I MUST BE SAFE. 419 00:17:59,115 --> 00:18:01,155 THAT'S VERY FUNNY. 420 00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:04,329 LISTEN, I-I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WANT TO TAKE SHOTS AT ME. 421 00:18:04,463 --> 00:18:06,033 THAT'S FINE. THAT'S PART OF OUR GAME, 422 00:18:06,159 --> 00:18:07,639 AND I CAN TAKE IT. 423 00:18:07,767 --> 00:18:11,337 BUT WHEN IT STARTS AFFECTING MY KIDS... 424 00:18:11,464 --> 00:18:12,764 [clicks tongue] WE GOT A PROBLEM. 425 00:18:12,899 --> 00:18:15,329 LOOK, WE BOTH KNOW HOW THIS WORKS. 426 00:18:15,464 --> 00:18:17,904 IF I WANTED TO TAKE WHOLESOME AND SWEET PICTURES 427 00:18:18,029 --> 00:18:19,949 OF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, I'D WORK AT THE MALL. 428 00:18:20,073 --> 00:18:21,943 AND I'D BE POOR. 429 00:18:22,073 --> 00:18:24,593 BUT MANIPULATING SHOTS TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE 430 00:18:24,726 --> 00:18:28,346 THE WORST PARENT EVER ALLOWS ME TO DRIVE A MASERATI 431 00:18:28,466 --> 00:18:29,766 AND DATE A MODEL... 432 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:33,380 SLASH-ACTRESS. 433 00:18:33,509 --> 00:18:37,869 [New Jersey accent] NOT BAD FOR A GUY FROM JERSEY, RIGHT? 434 00:18:37,988 --> 00:18:40,948 YOU GOTTA GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT. 435 00:18:41,075 --> 00:18:46,335 ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SMILE AND SAY "CHEESE," MY FRIEND. 436 00:18:46,467 --> 00:18:48,517 MM-HMM-HMM. 437 00:18:48,641 --> 00:18:54,341 [coughs, chokes] 438 00:18:56,990 --> 00:18:59,680 [choking and grunting] 439 00:19:02,860 --> 00:19:04,950 [grunts, gags] 440 00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:06,038 OH! - HANG ON, ONE MORE HIT. 441 00:19:06,165 --> 00:19:07,335 OH! 442 00:19:07,469 --> 00:19:10,209 YOU OKAY? ALL RIGHT, JUST HAVE A SEAT. 443 00:19:10,339 --> 00:19:11,249 CATCH YOUR BREATH, THERE YOU GO. 444 00:19:11,383 --> 00:19:12,473 HE'S OKAY, EVERYBODY. - WHOO! 445 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,340 - RIGHT, RIGHT, MITCH? - ALL RIGHT, YES! 446 00:19:14,470 --> 00:19:17,430 [applause] YAY! ALL RIGHT, YES! 447 00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:19,517 - THANK YOU. - MARIO! 448 00:19:19,644 --> 00:19:20,564 YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT MY HUSBAND'S HEAD SHOT 449 00:19:20,687 --> 00:19:21,727 BACK UP ON THAT WALL. 450 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,651 I DON'T SEE STAMOS HERE SAVING LIVES. 451 00:19:24,775 --> 00:19:26,425 I WAS JUST ENJOYING MY DINNER 452 00:19:26,558 --> 00:19:29,998 WHEN OUT OF NOWHERE MR. HOBBS ATTACKED ME. 453 00:19:30,124 --> 00:19:31,434 [camera shutter clicking] 454 00:19:31,559 --> 00:19:34,389 IT WAS BLOODY DREADFUL. 455 00:19:34,515 --> 00:19:36,905 THIS IS AMAZING. I-I CAN'T WIN WITH THIS GUY. 456 00:19:37,037 --> 00:19:39,387 ALL RIGHT, HE'S TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD FOR SAVING HIS LIFE. 457 00:19:39,515 --> 00:19:42,125 DAD, DON'T WORRY. KARMA'S A MITCH. 458 00:19:42,255 --> 00:19:43,995 LOOK, WE BOTH KNOW HOW THIS WORKS. 459 00:19:44,125 --> 00:19:45,305 IF I WANTED TO TAKE 460 00:19:45,429 --> 00:19:47,209 SWEET AND WHOLESOME PICTURES 461 00:19:47,342 --> 00:19:49,042 OF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, I'D WORK AT THE MALL. 462 00:19:49,169 --> 00:19:51,039 AND I'D BE POOR. 463 00:19:51,169 --> 00:19:53,519 BUT MANIPULATING SHOTS TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE 464 00:19:53,648 --> 00:19:57,128 THE WORST PARENT EVER ALLOWS ME TO DRIVE A MASERATI 465 00:19:57,256 --> 00:20:00,126 AND DATE A MODEL. - YOU RECORDED THAT? 466 00:20:00,257 --> 00:20:01,517 YEAH. AND, THANKS TO MY PHONE, 467 00:20:01,648 --> 00:20:03,348 IT'S ALREADY UPLOADED AND TRENDING. 468 00:20:03,475 --> 00:20:06,085 OH! YES! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, 469 00:20:06,214 --> 00:20:08,874 BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH. 470 00:20:08,997 --> 00:20:10,127 SEE, I KNEW I DID THE RIGHT THING 471 00:20:10,258 --> 00:20:11,868 BUYING YOU THAT PHONE, HONEY. RIGHT? 472 00:20:13,606 --> 00:20:15,436 AMY HOBBS SEEMS TO BE ANGRY ALL THE DAYS. 473 00:20:15,563 --> 00:20:17,213 THAT'S RIGHT, MS. HOBBS. 474 00:20:17,345 --> 00:20:19,785 YOU'VE BEEN MITCH-SLAPPED. [slap] 475 00:20:19,911 --> 00:20:23,131 - I'M SORRY. - FOR WHAT? 476 00:20:23,259 --> 00:20:24,569 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? 477 00:20:24,694 --> 00:20:28,614 OH, I MATTER! 478 00:20:28,738 --> 00:20:29,958 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. - WHAT? 479 00:20:30,086 --> 00:20:31,346 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 480 00:20:31,478 --> 00:20:33,178 I'M GONNA STRIKE WHILE THE IRON'S HOT, BABY. 481 00:20:33,304 --> 00:20:35,864 I'M GONNA GO KICK A PUPPY AT THE MALL. 482 00:20:35,999 --> 00:20:37,519 SIT DOWN, HONEY. COME ON. 483 00:20:37,652 --> 00:20:39,172 THEY'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT ME IN A MINUTE. 484 00:20:39,222 --> 00:20:43,772 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34637

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