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1
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HOLT: And I believe that's all I've got.
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00:00:07,093 --> 00:00:08,094
Oh, wait.
3
00:00:08,261 --> 00:00:11,511
There's one more thing.
Peralta gave me a note before the meeting.
4
00:00:12,807 --> 00:00:14,558
Ugh, the penmanship is horrid,
5
00:00:14,642 --> 00:00:18,479
but I think it says, "Ask if
anyone has an anal mint."
6
00:00:18,563 --> 00:00:20,147
It's announcements. And we do.
7
00:00:20,231 --> 00:00:21,691
Wow, what an entrance.
8
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Amy and I have some big news to share.
9
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I'm pregnant.
10
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We're pregnant!
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-[ALL FEIGNING ENTHUSIASM]
-DIAZ: What a surprise.
12
00:00:29,575 --> 00:00:30,575
What the hell? I thought you guys
13
00:00:30,659 --> 00:00:31,785
would be more excited than that.
14
00:00:31,869 --> 00:00:32,911
Charles, you didn't even faint.
15
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I'm so sorry. I'll try. [INHALES SHARPLY]
16
00:00:36,332 --> 00:00:38,041
It's not working.
Somebody choke me. On it.
17
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,460
Rosa. Sorry, we're so happy for you,
18
00:00:40,544 --> 00:00:42,879
but we also, maybe, kind of already knew.
19
00:00:42,963 --> 00:00:44,381
You didn't do the best job of hiding it.
20
00:00:44,465 --> 00:00:47,509
Why have you been carrying
that box around so much?
21
00:00:47,593 --> 00:00:48,843
I just love this box.
22
00:00:48,927 --> 00:00:50,762
Why are you reading that newspaper?
It's two days old.
23
00:00:50,846 --> 00:00:52,097
I just love this issue.
24
00:00:52,181 --> 00:00:53,640
Hey, why you wearing that hazmat suit?
25
00:00:53,724 --> 00:00:55,058
I just love this look.
26
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,977
Okay, fine.
So you all knew we were pregnant.
27
00:00:57,061 --> 00:00:58,395
Good for you.
But I bet you didn't figure out
28
00:00:58,479 --> 00:01:00,648
that we're having twins.
29
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[GASPS]
30
00:01:02,359 --> 00:01:03,859
No, not really. It's one baby.
31
00:01:03,943 --> 00:01:05,486
I just needed to see Charles faint.
32
00:01:05,570 --> 00:01:07,572
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
33
00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:29,552
Aw, Jake, I am excited
that you're having a kid.
34
00:01:29,636 --> 00:01:31,512
Thank you, Dad.
Oh, hey, if you're free next Friday,
35
00:01:31,596 --> 00:01:32,763
we're having a sex reveal party.
36
00:01:32,847 --> 00:01:34,515
I went to one of those in Amsterdam.
37
00:01:34,599 --> 00:01:36,350
I would not invite relatives.
38
00:01:36,434 --> 00:01:37,643
What? No, no, no.
39
00:01:37,727 --> 00:01:38,978
It's a party where we find out
40
00:01:39,062 --> 00:01:41,355
the biological sex of the
baby in a surprising way.
41
00:01:41,439 --> 00:01:42,815
You better hope you're having a girl.
42
00:01:42,899 --> 00:01:45,277
Peralta fathers do not
get along with sons.
43
00:01:45,361 --> 00:01:46,987
What? That's not true.
I mean, look at us.
44
00:01:47,071 --> 00:01:48,280
We're doing better than ever.
45
00:01:48,364 --> 00:01:50,449
This year you even
remembered my birthday month.
46
00:01:50,533 --> 00:01:53,994
Things are good now, but
honestly, it's probably just a blip.
47
00:01:54,286 --> 00:01:55,370
That's fun to hear.
48
00:01:55,454 --> 00:01:56,538
It's just the way it is.
49
00:01:56,622 --> 00:01:57,748
It's the family curse.
50
00:01:57,832 --> 00:02:00,167
I haven't talked to my
father since you were ten.
51
00:02:00,251 --> 00:02:02,419
His dad abandoned
him at the World's Fair.
52
00:02:02,503 --> 00:02:07,215
His dad fled to America after
drowning his dad in a well.
53
00:02:07,299 --> 00:02:09,885
Oh, my God. Okay, so, yes, fine.
54
00:02:09,969 --> 00:02:12,137
There's a bit of a trend,
but we're not cursed.
55
00:02:12,221 --> 00:02:13,597
You and I are good. I bet you could even
56
00:02:13,681 --> 00:02:14,681
fix things up with your dad.
57
00:02:14,765 --> 00:02:16,767
The Admiral?
You know, I always hoped that I could
58
00:02:16,851 --> 00:02:19,728
reconcile things with him one day,
but he's not gonna let that happen.
59
00:02:19,812 --> 00:02:22,314
What can I tell you.
We're not meant to have sons.
60
00:02:22,648 --> 00:02:24,692
There's a demon in our genes.
61
00:02:24,776 --> 00:02:25,860
Title of your sex tape.
62
00:02:25,944 --> 00:02:27,779
No. The title of my sex tape is
63
00:02:27,904 --> 00:02:30,114
"Cockpit Larry and the
Mile High Stewardae."
64
00:02:30,198 --> 00:02:32,909
What? "Stewardae."
It's plural for stewardess.
65
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:34,243
Okay.
66
00:02:34,327 --> 00:02:35,787
ADA Kurm. How are you?
67
00:02:35,871 --> 00:02:36,871
Do you want the real answer
68
00:02:36,955 --> 00:02:38,498
about how my wife's leaving me?
69
00:02:38,582 --> 00:02:40,583
Or do you just want me to
say, "Good, how are you?"
70
00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:41,668
Uh, the latter.
71
00:02:41,752 --> 00:02:42,752
Good. How are you?
72
00:02:42,836 --> 00:02:43,961
We're fine. Why are you here?
73
00:02:44,045 --> 00:02:45,171
You know that Carroll Street
74
00:02:45,255 --> 00:02:46,255
Brownstone B&E?
75
00:02:46,339 --> 00:02:47,965
Yeah, broken window, swiped an old TV.
76
00:02:48,049 --> 00:02:49,884
The house belongs to
a friend of the Mayor's.
77
00:02:49,968 --> 00:02:53,262
Oh.
I didn't realize the case was a priority.
78
00:02:53,346 --> 00:02:54,555
I'll check into it right away.
79
00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:56,224
Great.
Call me as soon as you have anything.
80
00:02:56,308 --> 00:02:58,018
Yeah. Will do.
81
00:02:59,394 --> 00:03:00,853
Oh, God, what a nightmare.
82
00:03:00,937 --> 00:03:02,855
Agreed. Dude's a mess.
You know he's only 24?
83
00:03:02,939 --> 00:03:04,190
No, the Carroll Street case.
84
00:03:04,274 --> 00:03:06,694
I didn't realize that the
Mayor was interested in it,
85
00:03:06,778 --> 00:03:09,030
and I think I did something bad.
86
00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:10,447
-[SNORING]
-You gave Hitchcock and Scully
87
00:03:10,531 --> 00:03:11,574
an important case.
88
00:03:11,699 --> 00:03:13,034
[SIGHS]
89
00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:16,036
Okay, here's the cake.
90
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,329
If it's pink on the inside, it's a girl,
91
00:03:17,413 --> 00:03:18,622
and if it's blue, it's a boy.
92
00:03:18,706 --> 00:03:19,957
And why do you seem so bummed by that?
93
00:03:20,041 --> 00:03:21,917
Because I still think you
should have done the pig roast,
94
00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:23,502
where we start eating it from the snout,
95
00:03:23,586 --> 00:03:25,671
and discover the baby's sex
when we get to the genitals.
96
00:03:25,755 --> 00:03:27,756
Yeah, you know, Amy wanted to
do that too, but I just don't see it.
97
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,490
-[PHONE DINGS]
-I'm getting a text.
98
00:03:29,717 --> 00:03:31,927
Ooh. "I will see you soon, sir."
99
00:03:32,011 --> 00:03:33,595
Guess who that was. Elton John.
100
00:03:33,679 --> 00:03:35,431
What? You said, "Sir", and that's on you.
101
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:37,141
No. It was my grandfather, the Admiral.
102
00:03:37,225 --> 00:03:38,308
Oh, you tracked him down?
103
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,018
Yep.
He's on his way to my apartment right now.
104
00:03:40,102 --> 00:03:41,645
I'm gonna fix his
relationship with my dad.
105
00:03:41,729 --> 00:03:42,730
It's gonna be very emotional.
106
00:03:42,814 --> 00:03:43,814
It's gonna be so dramatic.
107
00:03:43,898 --> 00:03:44,940
You should be producing for Ellen.
108
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:46,734
Do you really think so?
Because I actually have another idea
109
00:03:46,818 --> 00:03:49,112
for a segment where Ellen turns
your home into a haunted house.
110
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:51,657
I call it, "Extreme
Makeover, Bone Edition."
111
00:03:54,409 --> 00:03:56,828
But, you know, I don't have to do it.
I like being a cop.
112
00:03:56,912 --> 00:03:57,954
And you're so good at it.
113
00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,080
Yeah, okay. I'm gonna go meet my grandpa.
114
00:03:59,164 --> 00:04:00,207
Yup.
115
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:02,800
[FLUTE PLAYING "MUFFIN MAN"]
116
00:04:03,001 --> 00:04:05,086
Oh, fun. Terry's playing the flute.
117
00:04:05,170 --> 00:04:07,672
At work. Who are you? William Wonker?
118
00:04:07,756 --> 00:04:09,632
No. This is police business.
119
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,843
The flautist for the NYPD band retired
120
00:04:11,927 --> 00:04:14,053
and I'm going to
audition to take his spot.
121
00:04:14,137 --> 00:04:15,472
Captain Holt, you love music.
122
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:16,556
Can you give me some pointers?
123
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:17,891
No, I'd rather not.
124
00:04:18,016 --> 00:04:19,476
The music they play is dreck.
125
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,479
Last month, they performed
Sousa at a fallen officer's funeral,
126
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,814
and the people were
so appalled, they cried.
127
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,441
Or they were crying for the deceased?
128
00:04:26,525 --> 00:04:27,609
No, she was very unpopular.
129
00:04:27,693 --> 00:04:30,280
-The band made them cry.
-[WHISTLES]
130
00:04:30,446 --> 00:04:32,323
Suffice it to say I don't
respect what they do,
131
00:04:32,407 --> 00:04:34,707
so it wouldn't be the right teacher.
I'm sorry.
132
00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:36,953
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
133
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,539
Hey, Grandpa. Attention.
134
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:40,832
Oh.
135
00:04:41,374 --> 00:04:43,251
At ease. Just pulling your leg.
136
00:04:43,418 --> 00:04:45,544
I'm your grandfather, not
your commanding officer.
137
00:04:45,628 --> 00:04:47,379
Now, come on, give me a handshake.
138
00:04:47,463 --> 00:04:49,424
Okay. Right. Come on in.
139
00:04:50,967 --> 00:04:53,428
Wow, it's really been quite a while, huh?
140
00:04:53,803 --> 00:04:56,903
Are you still watching those
cartoons about the karate lizards?
141
00:04:57,390 --> 00:04:59,040
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?
142
00:04:59,267 --> 00:05:00,851
I am. There was recently a reboot.
143
00:05:00,935 --> 00:05:02,019
They did some interesting things
144
00:05:02,103 --> 00:05:03,479
with Splinter and Krang's backstories.
145
00:05:03,563 --> 00:05:05,147
Anyways, I'm an adult now, how are you?
146
00:05:05,231 --> 00:05:07,191
Oh, me? Well, I guess I'm a…
147
00:05:12,448 --> 00:05:13,741
Grandpa. What?
148
00:05:13,866 --> 00:05:15,158
Oh, I was just asking how you were.
149
00:05:15,242 --> 00:05:16,827
Oh, sharp as ever. Yeah.
150
00:05:16,911 --> 00:05:18,453
I'm so glad you reached out to me.
151
00:05:18,537 --> 00:05:20,956
Same, you know, now that
I'm having a baby of my own,
152
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,958
I've started to realize
how important father,
153
00:05:23,042 --> 00:05:25,126
son, grandfather
relationships really are.
154
00:05:25,210 --> 00:05:27,879
Mmm-hmm.
Which reminds me, my dad is also coming.
155
00:05:27,963 --> 00:05:30,006
He is. I'm surprised he wanted to see me.
156
00:05:30,090 --> 00:05:32,759
Well, he doesn't
exactly know you're here.
157
00:05:32,843 --> 00:05:35,178
I thought it might be cool
to surprise both of you.
158
00:05:35,262 --> 00:05:38,932
You know who else thought surprises
were cool? Admiral Yamamoto.
159
00:05:39,016 --> 00:05:41,017
And we all know what happened then, huh?
We do?
160
00:05:41,101 --> 00:05:42,310
Pearl Harbor. Pearl Harbor, right.
161
00:05:42,394 --> 00:05:43,478
Some surprises can be bad,
162
00:05:43,562 --> 00:05:44,813
but this one's not going to be.
163
00:05:44,897 --> 00:05:45,939
This one's gonna be good, just like…
164
00:05:46,023 --> 00:05:48,024
The Battle of Midway.
The Bimble of Derbay.
165
00:05:48,108 --> 00:05:49,734
Yup, we both said the
same thing, at the same time.
166
00:05:49,818 --> 00:05:50,861
-[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
-Oh, that's my dad.
167
00:05:50,945 --> 00:05:52,195
This is gonna be amazing.
168
00:05:52,906 --> 00:05:53,906
Hey, Jakey.
169
00:05:53,990 --> 00:05:56,534
Roger Peralta, prepare to hug and cry.
170
00:05:56,743 --> 00:05:58,954
This is your father.
171
00:06:00,372 --> 00:06:03,375
Dad, you son of a bitch! Uh-oh.
172
00:06:04,376 --> 00:06:05,377
PERALTA: Ow!
173
00:06:07,754 --> 00:06:08,838
[PERALTA GROANS]
174
00:06:09,631 --> 00:06:10,882
Can't believe you hit me.
175
00:06:10,966 --> 00:06:12,008
I'm sorry.
176
00:06:12,092 --> 00:06:13,992
My face is throbbing. Hey, Dino Bites.
177
00:06:14,177 --> 00:06:15,428
What the hell is my father doing here?
178
00:06:15,512 --> 00:06:16,846
You said you wanted to reconcile.
179
00:06:16,930 --> 00:06:18,931
I meant after he was dead.
180
00:06:19,015 --> 00:06:21,934
I planned on standing over his
grave and yelling, "I forgive you."
181
00:06:22,018 --> 00:06:23,769
Well, you may get the
chance sooner than you think.
182
00:06:23,853 --> 00:06:25,938
He keeps trailing off
and staring into space.
183
00:06:26,022 --> 00:06:28,274
[SCOFFS] That's his old trick.
184
00:06:28,358 --> 00:06:29,650
Whenever he doesn't want
to talk about something,
185
00:06:29,734 --> 00:06:31,778
he does that, the old bastard.
186
00:06:31,903 --> 00:06:33,447
Look, I know you don't like him,
187
00:06:33,531 --> 00:06:35,331
but can you at least try to be nice?
188
00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:36,951
For me?
189
00:06:37,451 --> 00:06:40,162
Okay. I'll be nice.
190
00:06:40,287 --> 00:06:42,873
I wish you were dead,
you lousy son of a bitch.
191
00:06:42,957 --> 00:06:44,249
PERALTA: You said
you were going to be nice.
192
00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:46,335
I lied so I could say
"the son of a bitch" thing.
193
00:06:46,419 --> 00:06:47,794
Dad! Okay.
194
00:06:47,878 --> 00:06:51,632
Your, grandson would
like us to make peace.
195
00:06:51,716 --> 00:06:55,302
So do you apologize for being the
worst father in the history of the world?
196
00:06:55,386 --> 00:06:57,888
Even worse than fathers who
chain their children in basements?
197
00:06:57,972 --> 00:06:59,973
I do not. That's on him, I tried.
198
00:07:00,057 --> 00:07:01,433
I really don't think you did.
199
00:07:01,517 --> 00:07:03,185
Jake, you don't get it.
He's a heartless jerk.
200
00:07:03,269 --> 00:07:04,770
When I was in high school, I almost died.
201
00:07:04,854 --> 00:07:06,438
He didn't even visit me in the hospital.
202
00:07:06,522 --> 00:07:09,316
Okay. So maybe start by
asking him to apologize for that.
203
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:13,028
No, he should apologize to
me for being in the hospital.
204
00:07:13,112 --> 00:07:14,447
I'm starting to see the
heartless thing now.
205
00:07:14,531 --> 00:07:15,531
Growing up, he had a boat.
206
00:07:15,615 --> 00:07:17,742
It meant everything to him.
207
00:07:17,826 --> 00:07:19,953
He named it Walter, after himself.
208
00:07:20,037 --> 00:07:21,412
She was the child I never had.
209
00:07:21,496 --> 00:07:23,790
I was the child you did have.
210
00:07:23,874 --> 00:07:26,274
Anyway, one day I took Walter Jr.
out for a spin.
211
00:07:26,376 --> 00:07:28,795
I was trying to impress
one of the lake girls.
212
00:07:28,879 --> 00:07:29,879
Before I met your mom,
213
00:07:29,963 --> 00:07:31,381
I was a bit of a ladies' man.
214
00:07:31,465 --> 00:07:33,466
Yes, that continued long
after you met my mom.
215
00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:34,842
He's always been a floozy.
216
00:07:34,926 --> 00:07:38,012
It was dark, I crashed into the
dock and woke up in the hospital.
217
00:07:38,096 --> 00:07:39,347
How was the girl? Flexible.
218
00:07:39,431 --> 00:07:40,848
Man, she could put her leg total…
219
00:07:40,932 --> 00:07:42,392
No, I was… After the accident.
220
00:07:42,476 --> 00:07:44,352
Oh, right. No, she was totally unhurt.
221
00:07:44,436 --> 00:07:46,604
Thank goodness.
But I was in the hospital for three weeks
222
00:07:46,688 --> 00:07:49,899
and Admiral Ass never visited me once.
223
00:07:49,983 --> 00:07:52,318
I warned you not to take the boat out.
224
00:07:52,402 --> 00:07:54,946
You make mistakes, you
gotta accept the consequences.
225
00:07:55,030 --> 00:07:56,115
I'm your son!
226
00:07:56,199 --> 00:07:57,700
And Walter was my daughter.
227
00:07:57,825 --> 00:07:59,410
Oh! Okay, both of you, stop.
228
00:07:59,494 --> 00:08:00,619
You're acting like children.
229
00:08:00,703 --> 00:08:02,705
You know what? That's it.
If you're going to like kids,
230
00:08:02,789 --> 00:08:04,439
then I'm gonna act like a parent.
231
00:08:05,124 --> 00:08:06,417
Cry Hard with a Vengeance?
232
00:08:06,501 --> 00:08:09,128
Yeah, it's Bruce Willis's
book about parenting,
233
00:08:09,212 --> 00:08:10,588
and we're going to read it.
234
00:08:11,172 --> 00:08:13,966
I just got another call from
the saddest ADA in the world.
235
00:08:14,050 --> 00:08:16,844
He's still pissed.
Did Hitchcock and Scully get anywhere?
236
00:08:16,928 --> 00:08:18,178
Hard to say. Their file contains
237
00:08:18,262 --> 00:08:20,681
a lot of non-case related documents.
238
00:08:20,765 --> 00:08:21,849
Bunch of menus?
239
00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:23,851
Cease and Assist letter from T.J. Maxx.
240
00:08:23,935 --> 00:08:26,687
Multiple patents submissions for
something called a "pillow shoe".
241
00:08:26,771 --> 00:08:28,772
An application for a
time share in "Fi-guee."
242
00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,190
You mean Fiji?
243
00:08:30,274 --> 00:08:31,734
No, Figi, with a "G."
244
00:08:31,943 --> 00:08:33,143
They're getting scammed.
245
00:08:34,904 --> 00:08:37,615
Wait. This is good.
There was a witness who saw everything.
246
00:08:37,699 --> 00:08:39,117
Identified the thief, even described
247
00:08:39,201 --> 00:08:41,286
the getaway car down to
a dent in the right bumper.
248
00:08:41,370 --> 00:08:43,204
We're golden!
Yeah, but Hitchcock and Scully
249
00:08:43,288 --> 00:08:46,038
forgot to write down the
witness's name or contact info.
250
00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:48,334
What? No, that's insane.
251
00:08:48,418 --> 00:08:50,170
Even they wouldn't do
something that dumb.
252
00:08:50,254 --> 00:08:53,590
Dumb? Excuse me, I don't need this crap.
253
00:08:53,674 --> 00:08:55,425
I could be on the
beach in Figi right now.
254
00:08:55,509 --> 00:08:58,511
If we go to court, we're going
to need the witness to testify.
255
00:08:58,595 --> 00:09:01,681
But now we have no way of contacting him.
So there's no case.
256
00:09:01,765 --> 00:09:05,101
How could you not take down
the witnesses' contact info?
257
00:09:05,185 --> 00:09:08,605
Well, unlike you dorks, we
don't do everything "by the book."
258
00:09:08,689 --> 00:09:09,814
We play by our own rules.
259
00:09:09,898 --> 00:09:11,441
And we get results. Mmm-hmm.
260
00:09:11,525 --> 00:09:12,859
No, you don't!
261
00:09:12,943 --> 00:09:14,153
That's why we're here.
262
00:09:14,528 --> 00:09:16,029
PERALTA: So, John
McClane's advice wasn't great,
263
00:09:16,113 --> 00:09:17,322
but I have other books.
264
00:09:17,406 --> 00:09:19,159
This one says to make sure
265
00:09:19,367 --> 00:09:20,618
neither of you has a full diaper.
266
00:09:20,702 --> 00:09:22,078
Feels like we can skip that part.
267
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,496
I wouldn't be so sure.
268
00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:25,623
Dad, come on. All right. How about this?
269
00:09:25,707 --> 00:09:28,751
Dad just name one happy
memory that you have with Grandpa.
270
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:31,003
And don't say the memory
you're going to have at his funeral.
271
00:09:31,087 --> 00:09:34,298
All right.
When I was eight, he was on shore leave,
272
00:09:34,382 --> 00:09:38,302
and we played catch in
the yard, and that was fun.
273
00:09:38,386 --> 00:09:40,263
Hey, there you go. That was great.
274
00:09:40,638 --> 00:09:43,265
And Grandpa, is there a happy
memory you wanna share?
275
00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:45,226
Well, can I pick the catch thing too?
276
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,520
PERALTA: Yeah, sure.
Because that was really a nice time.
277
00:09:47,604 --> 00:09:50,648
While we were playing, the
neighbor kid fell off his bike.
278
00:09:50,732 --> 00:09:51,816
Yeah, he broke his arm.
279
00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:53,442
You could see the bone.
280
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,111
Do you remember when we went skiing?
281
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,529
The guy fell off the
lift and busted his leg?
282
00:09:56,613 --> 00:09:58,072
Yes. And you could see the bone.
283
00:09:58,156 --> 00:10:00,075
It was just like, sticking
right out of the skin.
284
00:10:00,159 --> 00:10:03,329
And he's like screaming.
We were laughing.
285
00:10:03,495 --> 00:10:05,497
Oh, it was beautiful.
I hope somebody found him.
286
00:10:05,581 --> 00:10:08,667
Okay, well, you guys are both
monsters, but this is going great.
287
00:10:08,751 --> 00:10:11,086
[PLAYING FLUTE]
288
00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:12,379
Yes. Yes!
289
00:10:12,463 --> 00:10:15,924
I know you're being positive, but
I could use some honest criticism.
290
00:10:16,008 --> 00:10:17,758
Well, Terry, I'd love to help but…
291
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:20,763
Follow me.
292
00:10:22,223 --> 00:10:24,850
Oh, no. You caught me stretching.
293
00:10:24,934 --> 00:10:27,310
I've been doing this and
nothing else for the last half hour.
294
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:29,521
-Continuously.
-BOYLE: I saw you watching, Terry.
295
00:10:29,605 --> 00:10:31,023
You were finger conducting.
296
00:10:32,024 --> 00:10:34,109
Fine. Yes.
297
00:10:34,652 --> 00:10:38,155
I may have overstated my
contempt for the music they play
298
00:10:38,239 --> 00:10:40,365
so that I wouldn't have to help Jeffords.
299
00:10:40,449 --> 00:10:42,410
Oh, no, am I so bad, I can't be helped?
300
00:10:42,535 --> 00:10:44,871
Oh, man, I wanted to play in
the Thanksgiving Day parade.
301
00:10:44,955 --> 00:10:46,622
Terry loves being in and among floats.
302
00:10:46,706 --> 00:10:49,834
You're not bad. You're maybe even good.
303
00:10:49,918 --> 00:10:50,918
But to make you great,
304
00:10:51,002 --> 00:10:53,713
I'd have to break you down to nothing.
305
00:10:54,339 --> 00:10:55,548
It would ruin our friendship.
306
00:10:55,632 --> 00:10:58,134
I can handle criticism.
My daughters criticize me all the time.
307
00:10:58,218 --> 00:11:00,618
They're so mean now.
Please help me, sir, please!
308
00:11:01,638 --> 00:11:03,515
Okay, give me your flute.
309
00:11:04,349 --> 00:11:10,105
Wrong!
First rule, never give anyone your flute.
310
00:11:10,689 --> 00:11:12,899
-Hey, babe, how's it going?
-PERALTA: Amazingly well.
311
00:11:12,983 --> 00:11:14,817
My dad and my grandpa
are actually getting along.
312
00:11:14,901 --> 00:11:16,110
They've been catching up nonstop.
313
00:11:16,194 --> 00:11:17,236
Aunt Millie. Dead.
314
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:18,530
Uncle Thomas. Dead.
315
00:11:18,655 --> 00:11:19,655
-ROGER: Aunt Janet.
-WALTER: Dead.
316
00:11:19,739 --> 00:11:20,781
Uncle Dean. Gay!
317
00:11:20,865 --> 00:11:23,411
Oh, good for him.
What about Aunt Lyn? Dead.
318
00:11:23,536 --> 00:11:25,454
Apparently there was a
fire at the family reunion.
319
00:11:25,538 --> 00:11:27,748
Lucky for my Uncle Dean, he
was not welcome at the event.
320
00:11:27,832 --> 00:11:29,292
Wow. Dark.
321
00:11:29,542 --> 00:11:31,792
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad everything's working out.
322
00:11:32,003 --> 00:11:33,545
Oh, I gotta go. Love you. Bye.
323
00:11:33,629 --> 00:11:36,179
-Actually, I got to go too, so…
-[LINE DISCONNECTS]
324
00:11:36,924 --> 00:11:38,717
I didn't even think it was possible
325
00:11:38,801 --> 00:11:40,761
to put a cast on that part of the body.
326
00:11:40,970 --> 00:11:42,054
[BOTH LAUGHING]
327
00:11:42,138 --> 00:11:43,806
That was Amy, I hung up first.
328
00:11:43,931 --> 00:11:45,515
Looks like things are
still going great in here.
329
00:11:45,599 --> 00:11:46,808
Yeah, they sure are.
330
00:11:46,892 --> 00:11:49,020
Hey, Dad, toss me a beer. Bring the heat.
331
00:11:49,478 --> 00:11:50,479
Whoa.
332
00:11:50,563 --> 00:11:51,813
No, no, no. It's the sex reveal cake.
333
00:11:51,897 --> 00:11:53,315
-Oh!
-PERALTA: Nobody look at the floor.
334
00:11:53,399 --> 00:11:55,249
No one can see the color of the cake.
335
00:11:57,570 --> 00:11:58,946
How long we doing this? What's the plan?
336
00:11:59,030 --> 00:12:00,031
I don't know yet.
337
00:12:03,368 --> 00:12:05,828
Okay. We all heard the cake splat
on the other side of the counter,
338
00:12:05,912 --> 00:12:08,539
which means we can probably
assume you can see the color.
339
00:12:08,623 --> 00:12:09,749
Why does that matter?
340
00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:11,584
Because the color of the cake
tells us if we're having a boy or a girl.
341
00:12:11,668 --> 00:12:12,710
How can that baker tell?
342
00:12:12,794 --> 00:12:13,836
Because the baker does the test.
343
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:14,921
No, the doctor does the test.
344
00:12:15,005 --> 00:12:16,047
Then the doctor calls the baker.
345
00:12:16,131 --> 00:12:17,257
And the baker makes the cake.
346
00:12:17,341 --> 00:12:18,716
Okay. I hate to say this,
but can you start over?
347
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,927
No, we don't have time.
Just help me fix this.
348
00:12:21,011 --> 00:12:22,095
WALTER: You know it's Roger's fault.
349
00:12:22,179 --> 00:12:23,596
All he had to do was catch the beer.
350
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,473
Well, maybe I'd be
better at catch if I played it
351
00:12:25,557 --> 00:12:26,975
more than once growing up.
352
00:12:27,059 --> 00:12:29,227
Guys, focus up.
We're all getting along. Remember?
353
00:12:29,311 --> 00:12:31,479
Now, we can't see the cake before Amy,
354
00:12:31,563 --> 00:12:32,563
which means we have to figure out a way
355
00:12:32,647 --> 00:12:34,232
to clean it up without looking at it.
356
00:12:34,316 --> 00:12:36,109
[GASPS] We have to Bird Box it.
357
00:12:36,234 --> 00:12:37,277
And Bird Box is the bakery.
358
00:12:37,361 --> 00:12:40,196
No! Bird Box is a movie where
people aren't allowed to look at things.
359
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,782
Just put on these blindfolds
and help me clean it up.
360
00:12:42,866 --> 00:12:45,912
I Bird Boxed a stewardess in Sweden once.
Dad!
361
00:12:47,538 --> 00:12:49,665
Okay, that should be all of it.
362
00:12:50,208 --> 00:12:51,500
I think it's safe to take off
363
00:12:51,584 --> 00:12:53,419
our blindfold… [BLEEP]
364
00:12:53,669 --> 00:12:57,048
No, no! Oh, God! Oh, [BLEEP]
365
00:12:57,382 --> 00:12:58,549
What happened?
366
00:12:58,633 --> 00:12:59,925
We were so careful.
367
00:13:00,009 --> 00:13:01,010
Here comes the mop.
368
00:13:01,427 --> 00:13:02,470
ROGER: Bag.
369
00:13:02,762 --> 00:13:03,862
PERALTA: This is hard.
370
00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:05,348
I could use a beer.
371
00:13:05,723 --> 00:13:08,101
Yeah. Oh! You're okay?
372
00:13:08,267 --> 00:13:10,603
The cake was blue. You're having a boy.
373
00:13:10,895 --> 00:13:11,895
It's the curse.
374
00:13:11,979 --> 00:13:13,689
No, no, no, no. There's no curse.
375
00:13:13,815 --> 00:13:14,815
Look, we can still fix this.
376
00:13:14,899 --> 00:13:16,984
All we have to do is clean
every inch of this room
377
00:13:17,068 --> 00:13:18,402
and then bake a gourmet cake.
378
00:13:18,486 --> 00:13:20,363
No one can do all that in two hours.
379
00:13:20,655 --> 00:13:21,739
Wrong, Dad.
380
00:13:22,573 --> 00:13:23,825
There is one who can.
381
00:13:24,033 --> 00:13:25,493
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
382
00:13:26,787 --> 00:13:27,830
Hello, fellas.
383
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:29,373
Let's get to work.
384
00:13:29,623 --> 00:13:30,791
[WHIRRING]
385
00:13:32,251 --> 00:13:33,668
Oh, hey, I got something.
386
00:13:33,752 --> 00:13:34,753
There was a security camera
387
00:13:34,837 --> 00:13:35,837
by the Carroll Street brownstone.
388
00:13:35,921 --> 00:13:37,213
And you got footage of the perps?
389
00:13:37,297 --> 00:13:40,091
No, but it caught Scully and
Hitchcock interviewing the witness.
390
00:13:40,175 --> 00:13:41,634
All right, let's start
canvassing the neighborhood,
391
00:13:41,718 --> 00:13:42,844
see if anybody recognizes that guy.
392
00:13:42,928 --> 00:13:44,012
Yeah.
393
00:13:44,972 --> 00:13:45,973
SCULLY: Wait!
394
00:13:46,682 --> 00:13:47,724
What the hell!
395
00:13:47,808 --> 00:13:48,933
I'm sorry. I didn't want to run.
396
00:13:49,017 --> 00:13:50,685
And that was the only
way to stop the doors.
397
00:13:50,769 --> 00:13:51,978
It wasn't and it didn't.
398
00:13:52,062 --> 00:13:53,229
It worked. We're here.
399
00:13:53,313 --> 00:13:55,106
Please don't go looking for that witness.
400
00:13:55,190 --> 00:13:56,566
We're just trying to fix your screw-up.
401
00:13:56,650 --> 00:13:58,693
We didn't screw up.
The witness gave us his name,
402
00:13:58,777 --> 00:14:01,821
but he asked us not to write it
down because he's undocumented.
403
00:14:01,905 --> 00:14:02,906
[SIGHS] So he's scared show up
404
00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:04,199
to testify at the courthouse
405
00:14:04,283 --> 00:14:06,409
because he didn't want to
be detained by ICE. Damn it!
406
00:14:06,493 --> 00:14:09,080
You know, that keeps lots of
immigrants from helping cops.
407
00:14:09,164 --> 00:14:10,956
Yeah, we know that.
We're surprised you know that.
408
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:14,040
That's insulting. I'm very
concerned with immigration issues.
409
00:14:14,127 --> 00:14:15,878
And I've dated my fair share of spicy…
410
00:14:15,962 --> 00:14:17,546
No! Scully said the nice thing.
411
00:14:17,630 --> 00:14:19,630
You don't need to go past it, Hitchcock.
412
00:14:19,799 --> 00:14:22,301
Okay, I know you need
help and time is tight,
413
00:14:22,385 --> 00:14:23,844
but I see there's blue cake on the floor,
414
00:14:23,928 --> 00:14:24,929
and I know what that means,
415
00:14:25,013 --> 00:14:26,138
vis-à-vis the sex of the baby.
416
00:14:26,222 --> 00:14:29,225
So before we do anything,
I'm going to need a minute.
417
00:14:30,518 --> 00:14:33,813
Sorry for all the weeping and the
weird snort noise I made at the end.
418
00:14:33,897 --> 00:14:35,565
It's genetic. Now, Jake,
419
00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:37,149
grab a mop, you're on cleanup.
420
00:14:37,233 --> 00:14:38,776
Admiral, you're making the batter.
421
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:40,862
Captain, you're on frosting duty.
422
00:14:42,822 --> 00:14:45,199
Okay, Amy just texted, she's
gonna be here any second,
423
00:14:45,283 --> 00:14:46,493
so hide that thing.
424
00:14:48,036 --> 00:14:49,246
Oh.
425
00:14:49,705 --> 00:14:51,055
Dad, that is so noticeable.
426
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:52,666
It's awesome.
427
00:14:52,833 --> 00:14:54,983
All right, everybody
act normal, act normal.
428
00:14:55,711 --> 00:14:56,878
Hey, guys.
429
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:58,755
Hey, welcome home.
430
00:14:58,839 --> 00:15:01,258
I'd like you to meet my Grandpa Walter.
431
00:15:01,342 --> 00:15:02,843
It's so nice to meet you.
432
00:15:02,927 --> 00:15:04,594
Hello, things are normal here.
433
00:15:04,678 --> 00:15:06,513
Yeah, everything's totally
normal back here too,
434
00:15:06,597 --> 00:15:07,597
behind the chair.
435
00:15:07,681 --> 00:15:09,307
PERALTA: Yeah, and that
was a normal thing to say.
436
00:15:09,391 --> 00:15:10,767
Are things normal with you, Amy?
437
00:15:10,851 --> 00:15:11,852
Sure. Cool.
438
00:15:12,853 --> 00:15:14,396
I'm gonna go get ready for the party.
439
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,814
Oh. Fun.
440
00:15:16,857 --> 00:15:18,024
All right.
441
00:15:18,108 --> 00:15:19,109
[DOOR CLOSES]
442
00:15:19,193 --> 00:15:21,486
Oh, my God.
I can't believe we pulled it off.
443
00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:22,821
Charles, we owe it all to you.
444
00:15:22,905 --> 00:15:25,699
Stop. It was an honor to
cook and clean with all of you.
445
00:15:26,033 --> 00:15:28,869
Boy, Jake is so lucky
to have you as his butler.
446
00:15:28,994 --> 00:15:30,037
Oh, he's not. Thank you.
447
00:15:30,121 --> 00:15:31,248
Oh.
448
00:15:31,456 --> 00:15:32,707
JEFFORDS: I'm so glad you're helping me.
449
00:15:32,791 --> 00:15:34,167
Maybe I won't blow it after all.
450
00:15:34,251 --> 00:15:36,461
Oh, you'll do plenty
of blowing of that flute.
451
00:15:36,545 --> 00:15:38,588
Now, let's go. Five, six, seven, eight.
452
00:15:39,047 --> 00:15:41,049
-[PLAYS "THE MUFFIN MAN"]
-Stop.
453
00:15:41,216 --> 00:15:42,467
The nod meant start now.
454
00:15:42,551 --> 00:15:43,759
Not start one second later.
455
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:45,554
Again. Five, six, seven, eight.
456
00:15:45,762 --> 00:15:47,806
-[PLAYS "THE MUFFIN MAN"]
-Stop.
457
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,143
Are you playing, The Muffin
Man, or The Garbage Man?
458
00:15:52,227 --> 00:15:53,895
Huh? Do you know the Garbage Man?
459
00:15:53,979 --> 00:15:56,856
Because I do, because I'm
looking right at him. Again!
460
00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:58,274
Five, six, seven, eight.
461
00:15:58,358 --> 00:15:59,734
[PLAYS "THE MUFFIN MAN"]
462
00:16:00,610 --> 00:16:02,279
[VOCALIZING]
463
00:16:04,990 --> 00:16:06,032
Again.
464
00:16:08,618 --> 00:16:09,702
Again.
465
00:16:09,786 --> 00:16:10,996
[VOCALIZING]
466
00:16:15,167 --> 00:16:16,251
Why'd you stop playing, Garbage Man?
467
00:16:16,335 --> 00:16:17,336
I need some water.
468
00:16:17,420 --> 00:16:19,129
What you need to do is
keep practicing, Garbage Man.
469
00:16:19,213 --> 00:16:20,255
I don't have any more saliva.
470
00:16:20,339 --> 00:16:21,632
And I don't have any more time
471
00:16:21,716 --> 00:16:23,717
for your excuses, Garbage Man.
472
00:16:23,801 --> 00:16:25,428
Now play! Again. Five, six…
473
00:16:25,553 --> 00:16:27,179
I don't want your help anymore.
474
00:16:27,263 --> 00:16:28,514
I'm not a Garbage Man!
475
00:16:28,681 --> 00:16:30,349
I'm a Muffin Man!
476
00:16:31,392 --> 00:16:32,435
[GLASS CLINKS]
477
00:16:33,019 --> 00:16:34,061
Attention, everyone.
478
00:16:34,145 --> 00:16:35,687
Thank you all so much for coming.
479
00:16:35,771 --> 00:16:36,980
Please gather around.
480
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:38,857
We're gonna cut the cake and find out
481
00:16:38,941 --> 00:16:42,528
what our baby's whole
downstairs situation is.
482
00:16:43,362 --> 00:16:44,363
Why the accent?
483
00:16:44,447 --> 00:16:46,573
I don't know. I did so bad.
I should've let you talk.
484
00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:48,367
Yeah, you should have. I love you.
485
00:16:48,701 --> 00:16:52,287
Okay, let's do this.
Here we go. All right.
486
00:16:52,371 --> 00:16:56,501
We are having a… Green!
487
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,545
Oh, my God. What's inside of me?
488
00:16:58,629 --> 00:17:01,047
No. You just had a bad slice.
Here, I'll get a good one.
489
00:17:01,131 --> 00:17:02,840
I guess the bakery must have messed up.
490
00:17:02,924 --> 00:17:04,008
WALTER: What are you talking about?
491
00:17:04,092 --> 00:17:06,010
Roger's the one that
added the food coloring.
492
00:17:06,094 --> 00:17:07,387
Well, you mixed the batter.
493
00:17:07,471 --> 00:17:09,347
Did you guys bake that cake?
494
00:17:09,431 --> 00:17:10,932
We just, you could say that…
495
00:17:12,851 --> 00:17:13,852
Jake?
496
00:17:14,436 --> 00:17:16,271
Okay fine. Yes, we baked it.
I'm so sorry.
497
00:17:16,355 --> 00:17:17,605
I'll explain everything later.
498
00:17:17,689 --> 00:17:18,898
Dad, please stop cutting the cake.
499
00:17:18,982 --> 00:17:20,400
I'm trying to find a good slice.
500
00:17:20,484 --> 00:17:21,901
There is no good slice.
501
00:17:21,985 --> 00:17:23,695
You screwed it up. You're a screw-up.
502
00:17:23,779 --> 00:17:24,904
Yeah, well, if I'm a screw-up,
503
00:17:24,988 --> 00:17:26,948
it's 'cause you screwed
me up, you screw-up.
504
00:17:27,032 --> 00:17:28,366
Screw you. I'm leaving.
505
00:17:28,450 --> 00:17:29,742
PERALTA: Wait, no, Don't go.
506
00:17:29,826 --> 00:17:31,828
We reversed the curse.
Don't reverse the curse reverse.
507
00:17:31,912 --> 00:17:33,622
Actually, Jake. I'm going too.
508
00:17:33,789 --> 00:17:35,082
What? No. Why would you go?
509
00:17:35,166 --> 00:17:37,626
I need to go to the hospital.
I cut my thumb off.
510
00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:38,794
Again?
511
00:17:38,878 --> 00:17:40,672
-The other one.
-[ALL SCREAMING]
512
00:17:41,047 --> 00:17:42,256
Oh, God. Oh, God.
513
00:17:43,174 --> 00:17:45,635
Ah, get the Dino Bites.
514
00:17:48,262 --> 00:17:50,162
Hey, how you feeling? How's the thumb?
515
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,059
Great. Looks perfect.
Like nothing ever happened.
516
00:17:53,226 --> 00:17:54,526
It's the other thumb, Dad.
517
00:17:55,144 --> 00:17:56,645
No. Yeah, that looks bad.
518
00:17:56,729 --> 00:17:58,647
Doctor said it might
take a long time to heal
519
00:17:58,731 --> 00:18:00,441
and that it might never be as long again.
520
00:18:00,525 --> 00:18:02,276
What, my thumb? I don't care.
521
00:18:02,485 --> 00:18:03,820
Is my dad here?
522
00:18:04,028 --> 00:18:07,156
No, I called him and he said…
523
00:18:07,949 --> 00:18:08,949
How do I put this.
524
00:18:09,033 --> 00:18:11,410
That I'm a useless screw-up.
And he's done with me.
525
00:18:11,494 --> 00:18:13,996
Yeah, something exactly
like that, verbatim. Sure.
526
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,167
Look, I'm really sorry that I
forced this whole reunion on you.
527
00:18:17,251 --> 00:18:18,793
I think our family might be cursed.
528
00:18:18,877 --> 00:18:19,961
And I'm gonna be a bad dad.
529
00:18:20,045 --> 00:18:21,463
No, I was wrong.
530
00:18:21,755 --> 00:18:22,756
There's no curse.
531
00:18:22,965 --> 00:18:25,217
My dad is just a selfish dick.
532
00:18:26,093 --> 00:18:27,428
And I was too.
533
00:18:28,053 --> 00:18:31,640
All the other Peralta dads, we
probably just learned it from each other.
534
00:18:31,724 --> 00:18:33,308
Or it's just in our genes.
535
00:18:33,392 --> 00:18:34,852
No, you proved that wrong.
536
00:18:35,477 --> 00:18:37,980
You care and you do the work.
537
00:18:38,397 --> 00:18:41,232
You're reading parenting books
before your kid is even born.
538
00:18:41,316 --> 00:18:44,194
You tried get me and Dad back together.
539
00:18:44,278 --> 00:18:46,363
Hell, you even fished
my thumb out of the cake.
540
00:18:46,447 --> 00:18:47,447
Yeah. That was gross.
541
00:18:47,531 --> 00:18:50,617
You're so excited about having a
kid, you're having a sex reveal party.
542
00:18:50,701 --> 00:18:53,912
I never did anything like that
except that one time in Amsterdam.
543
00:18:54,079 --> 00:18:55,622
I really wish you'd
stop bringing that up.
544
00:18:55,706 --> 00:18:58,042
Jake, you're gonna be a great dad.
545
00:18:58,376 --> 00:18:59,876
And your son's gonna love you.
546
00:19:00,837 --> 00:19:02,046
Thanks.
547
00:19:02,672 --> 00:19:05,272
And I think you're going to
make a real good grandpa.
548
00:19:05,383 --> 00:19:09,137
Hey, who's got two
surgically reattached thumbs
549
00:19:09,846 --> 00:19:11,472
and is super proud of his son?
550
00:19:11,556 --> 00:19:13,015
Oh, you don't have to.
551
00:19:13,099 --> 00:19:14,309
This guy!
552
00:19:14,684 --> 00:19:17,437
[GROANS]
553
00:19:18,313 --> 00:19:19,772
My boss is furious.
554
00:19:19,856 --> 00:19:21,524
You ruined my 25th birthday.
555
00:19:21,608 --> 00:19:22,817
I want those guys punished.
556
00:19:22,901 --> 00:19:24,901
Understood. I'll talk to them right now.
557
00:19:25,695 --> 00:19:28,739
Without that witness, the DA has nothing.
Kurm's pissed.
558
00:19:28,823 --> 00:19:30,658
It's true. He kept calling
you guys a human centipede.
559
00:19:30,742 --> 00:19:31,784
Because we have our heads up our asses.
560
00:19:31,868 --> 00:19:33,119
Yes, we've heard that before.
561
00:19:33,203 --> 00:19:35,496
I never thought I'd say this
but you guys did the right thing.
562
00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:38,667
Unfortunately, Kurm wants you
disciplined, so effective tomorrow,
563
00:19:38,751 --> 00:19:40,711
you're each getting one
week paid suspension.
564
00:19:40,795 --> 00:19:42,212
Like vacation?
565
00:19:42,296 --> 00:19:43,547
You deserve this punishment.
566
00:19:43,631 --> 00:19:45,465
[WHISPERS] It's punishment
where you don't have to work.
567
00:19:45,549 --> 00:19:46,633
We can go anywhere we like?
568
00:19:46,717 --> 00:19:48,468
You can go to hell for all I care!
569
00:19:48,552 --> 00:19:50,053
[WHISPERS] Or to a resort
where you're being scammed.
570
00:19:50,137 --> 00:19:51,346
Figi. Good idea.
571
00:19:51,430 --> 00:19:52,597
Now get out of my face!
572
00:19:52,681 --> 00:19:53,981
DIAZ: [WHISPERS] Have fun.
573
00:19:56,435 --> 00:19:57,436
WOMAN: Next.
574
00:19:57,937 --> 00:19:58,937
Hi.
575
00:19:59,021 --> 00:20:02,733
My name is Terry Jeffords, and I
don't know how this is gonna go.
576
00:20:02,817 --> 00:20:03,817
Wait!
577
00:20:03,901 --> 00:20:04,901
Sir.
578
00:20:04,985 --> 00:20:07,279
I'm Captain Raymond
Holt of the 99th precinct.
579
00:20:07,363 --> 00:20:08,864
And I need to tell you about this man.
580
00:20:08,948 --> 00:20:10,699
Now, the audition
piece he's about to play
581
00:20:10,783 --> 00:20:12,159
may not be technically perfect.
582
00:20:12,243 --> 00:20:13,827
In fact, it may hurt your ears.
583
00:20:13,911 --> 00:20:16,246
You may consider it an insult to music.
584
00:20:16,330 --> 00:20:17,748
You may whisper to each other,
585
00:20:17,832 --> 00:20:20,168
"Muffin Man? Pfft!
More like Garbage Man."
586
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:21,335
Come on.
587
00:20:21,419 --> 00:20:22,462
But you would be wrong.
588
00:20:22,546 --> 00:20:24,464
This man has taught me something.
589
00:20:24,548 --> 00:20:27,800
He's taught me that music
is about heart and soul.
590
00:20:27,884 --> 00:20:29,886
It's about perseverance.
591
00:20:30,345 --> 00:20:34,432
Despite everything I put him
through, he showed up here today.
592
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:38,686
And you would be a fool
not to put him in your band.
593
00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:41,815
Thank you, Captain.
Lieutenant, what instrument do you play?
594
00:20:41,982 --> 00:20:43,316
The flute. You're hired.
595
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:44,776
What? I haven't even played.
596
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:47,236
You're the only flute who auditioned.
Welcome to the band.
597
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:49,197
Yes! I did it.
598
00:20:50,490 --> 00:20:51,866
Hey, how's your dad doing?
599
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:53,284
Oh, the doctor said he'll be okay.
600
00:20:53,368 --> 00:20:54,952
But his hands are basically claws now.
601
00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:56,579
I don't know why they think that's okay.
602
00:20:56,663 --> 00:20:58,706
Hey, listen, I'm sorry
the cake was green.
603
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,626
It's okay. I'll love our little Shrek,
604
00:21:00,710 --> 00:21:01,710
no matter what.
605
00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:02,795
Oh, my God, that's right.
606
00:21:02,879 --> 00:21:04,129
You still don't know the sex of the baby.
607
00:21:04,213 --> 00:21:07,049
With all the craziness, I almost forgot.
Emphasis on, "almost."
608
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:08,217
What?
609
00:21:08,342 --> 00:21:09,927
Well, I got another cake
just for the two of us.
610
00:21:10,011 --> 00:21:11,970
Jake, that's so sweet.
611
00:21:12,054 --> 00:21:13,138
Here we go.
612
00:21:13,222 --> 00:21:14,265
So excited.
613
00:21:14,932 --> 00:21:16,391
It's empty. There's no cake inside.
614
00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:17,476
What? Where'd it go?
615
00:21:17,643 --> 00:21:19,228
Hey guys, do you have any milk?
616
00:21:20,271 --> 00:21:22,565
We're having a boy? We're having a boy!
617
00:21:23,065 --> 00:21:24,775
Hey! Do you have milk or not?
618
00:21:25,067 --> 00:21:26,277
Jeez. God.
46449
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