All language subtitles for Brooklyn Nine-Nine - S07E05 - Debbie.eng.SDH

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

Oh, hey, Jake, what's, what's
the deal with the office today?

It feels crazy.

Somebody stole 20 bricks of coke

and some machine guns from evidence.

What? It's the first I'm hearing of it.

Yeah, well, you just got here, right?
Right.

I need you to find whoever
did this and kill them.

So they're dead.

Bonkers morning, huh?

So any idea who did it?

No. But whoever it was had an intimate
knowledge of our security systems.

It was obviously an inside job.

I bet it was Brian.

Why do you say that?

Because he once said he has a hot tub.

You know how that crowd is.

I didn't know Brian had a hot tub.

That does sound bad.

Yeah.

But we have to let the
investigation run its course.

Right now, everyone's a suspect.

DIAZ: Except for Hitchcock and Scully.

Whoever did it took the stairs.

What will happen to the person,
you know, if you find them.

HOLT: Well, they have
committed several felonies,

probably looking at, uh, 30-to-life.

So that person could miss 15 Olympics.
Cool.

I have to go.

They know the drugs are missing.

They don't suspect me
because I'm playing it super cool.

Now when is the hand off?

Yes, I'm alone in the ladies room.

No one can hear me.

Okay, so I know something.

But you can't ask how I know it.

Debbie took the coke and the guns.

Yeah, we know its Debbie.
Acting super suspicious.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Debbie, can I see you in my office?

Yeah, sure. What's this about?

We'll talk in my office.

It'll just take a minute. Oh, hey. Wow.

This morning's full of surprises, huh,

first that stolen cocaine

that Hot Tub Brian took,

now this unrelated thing involving me.

Ha. You know what, I think
I'm gonna go make a sandwich.

I just I love sandwiches,
I'll meet you in there.

Guilty of loving sandwiches, right?
[LAUGHS]

Debbie.

Hmm, what do I want in my sandwich?
Let's see.

Definitely ham, cheese,
baking soda, for sure.

French vanilla creamer.

Ooh, orange chicken. [LAUGHS]

[GRUNTS] Debbie!

You really thought
you'd get away with it?

Damn, Scully.

I was planning on eating
that orange chicken later.

JEFFORDS: Is that why you took her down?

Do you even know about
the missing cocaine?

Cocaine?

So we don't know where
Debbie's hidden the drugs.

We searched her car, her apartment,

we even tried the
location data on her phone.

But she was smart. She had it turned off.

Or her battery died.
According to her Screen Time app,

she plays five hours a day,

the game called, Cool Girl in School.

I love CGIS.

I just made captain of the color guard.

Junior year's looking up.

The coke Debbie took was
evidence against Silvio Nucci.

Now, he wanted it gone, I think
he got Debbie to do his dirty work.

I'm sorry.
You think Debbie is working with notorious

crime boss Silvio Nucci?

The same Debbie who has a denim jacket

that says "Rock 'n Roll"?

It was her.
I heard her setting up a drop.

And why were you in the women's room?

It wasn't for a gross reason,
the men's room was occupied

and I had to dump out.

Well, as long as it
wasn't for a gross reason.

We know you did it, Debbie.

Just tell me the truth.

Let me be your friend here.

Thank you, but I already
have plenty of friends.

Gil, Finn. Goldie, Bubbles.

Those are clearly just
the names of your pet fish.

Okay, fine.

They're my fish, and I took the drugs.

I'm sorry, I screwed everything up.

Okay, this is good.

Now just tell me why you did it.

Because I need my drugs.

I'm a big time drug girl.

Debbie, I don't think that's true.

I think Silvio Nucci, forced
you to do this against your will.

Nucci? [LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]

What? [CONTINUES LAUGHING]

She sat there and laughed for 40 minutes.

She's never gonna turn on Nucci.

I'll bet she's heard stories of what he
does to people who testify against him.

Man, I wish there was
something we could do to help her.

Why? Well, I know she committed a crime,

but she's clearly in over her head.

I don't think she's
actually a bad person.

She's a grown-up who
made her own decisions,

and now she has to
suffer the consequences.

You might not get it, but personally,

I relate to someone who made a mistake

and can't find their way out of it.

When I was younger, I
was thoroughly hoodwinked

by the "so-called" good
people at Columbia CD Club.

Next thing you know, I had 16 copies

of Blind Melons' first album.

In high school, I broke into a bunch
of houses and wound up in juvie.

What? That's terrible.

I mean, yeah, Rosa's is a little worse.

I was in ballet school, and
there was so much pressure

to be perfect all the
time that I just snapped.

If hadn't been underage,
I would've gone to prison.

It's all the more reason you
should have sympathy for Debbie

and understand why
she could use our help.

Nobody helped me, my parents kicked me

out of house and told me I was on my own.

I'm so sorry you had to go
through all that alone, Rosa.

No, it was a good thing.

I had to face my mistakes
and fix them by myself.

It made me a stronger person.

So, no, I don't think we
should take pity on Debbie.

Okay, fine. But even so, wouldn't
you rather take down Silvio Nucci,

a known crime boss,
instead of Debbie Fogle,

a rewards member at JOANN Fabrics?

Yeah, but Debbie's not
gonna testify against Nucci.

You may be right, and that's why
we're gonna catch him in the act.

Brace yourselves, everyone,
we're about to pop that Nucci.

Apologies.
That was inappropriate in the workplace.

But in my defense, that was
a song that I learned about

from Columbia House, Rosa.

Hmm. All right, here's the plan.

Why are we going this way?
The bathroom's back there.

I'm breaking you out,
I work for Silvio Nucci.

Oh, my God. You work for Nucci? Me too!

Way too loud, Debbie.

Okay. Press yourself against the wall

to avoid being seen by the camera.

Why didn't she do it
with her back to the wall?

Face first seems like such a mistake.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Oh, no, they found us.

No, no, no, Debbie.

Rosa's on Nucci's payroll too.

She's getting us out of here. Oh.

Debbie. Trunk. Now. Sorry.
It's a little tight in there.

Oh, I'm not picky.
I don't need light or oxygen.

I'm kinda like a low-maintenance plant.
Ooh, like a succulent…

That's great, Debbie.
But the trunk is closing on its own,

it's definitely not me slamming it.

DEBBIE: So you guys are
gonna stay here with me?

Nucci thought we could
help you guard the coke.

Oh, I can handle it.

I'm pretty tough.
I take self-defense at the women's gym.

Hiyah! Hiyah!

Oh, neat. You actually say the
words, "Hiyah" like Miss Piggy.

So when's Nucci coming
to pick up the coke?

Uh, could be hours. Could be days. Days?

I don't know. Nucci just said
to wait by this burner phone.

-He said he always works like that.
-PERALTA: Right.

Of course.
We have so many inside jokes about it.

I can imagine. He is pretty funny.

He's always like, "Debbie,

"if you mess this up, I'm gonna
gut you like a fish." What? [LAUGHS]

So he threatened you.
That's why you went dirty.

No. He offered me a million dollars.
I had no choice.

My dad is really sick, and he needed this

expensive experimental surgery. Ah!

What about you guys? How did he turn you?

Well, I've been dirty long before
Nucci came onto the scene.

[LAUGHS] I do a ton of coke.

They call me Mr. Springtime because
of how fast I make the snow disappear.

Wow, I've never even had a nickname.

I mean, I guess people
do call me, "Hey, lady."

Right. Well, I'm gonna let the
Nine-Nine know we are looking for you,

you know, so those idiots
don't think we broke you out.

Ooh, you think they're idiots?

Oh, yeah, big time.
I mean, Holt's a blowhard.

Jeffords is all brawn, no brains.

Boyle's a laughing stock.
Amy's just the worst.

I mean, she thinks she's
so smart and so pretty

and she makes me feel good

about the world and my place in it.

[CLEARS THROAT] And she smells
like [BLEEP]. We've all smelled her.

Rosa, let's go outside.

Hey, you know, that was
Undercover Jake talking in there, right?

Relax, man.
So you're not gonna tell Amy what I said?

Oh, no, I definitely am. I'm saying relax

because there's no way you can stop me.

Damn it!
Well, did you at least text the Nine-Nine

and tell 'em we don't
know when the handoff is?

Yeah, but, man, I don't like this.

We found the drugs.
We should forget about Nucci

and take Debbie in. What?

Nucci is the real bad guy here.

And you heard Debbie.

She's only doing this to get
the money for her dad's surgery.

There are other ways to get money.

She could've gone to a bank.
Right, and she's white.

She definitely would've gotten approved.
Terrific point.

That's not what I was saying. Ah, we were

both thinking it.
Anyways, it doesn't matter.

Our plan is working.
What are you worried about?

There's a loose cannon in there

with two machine guns.

She's not a loose cannon.

I saw her apologize to a
chair after bumping into it.

Trust me. We're not gonna
have any problems with Debbie.

Hey, Jake, guess what?

You made cocaine sound
so cool, I decided to try it.

But I didn't wanna overdo it,

so I only did, like, a tiny little toot.

Then I didn't feel anything.
So I did, like, a little bit more.

And I still didn't feel anything,
so then I did a lot more.

And then I felt it.
Like, I really felt it.

So then I did a couple
more, like, big ass toots.

Why do you guys keep
ducking behind the bed?

'Cause you keep
pointing those guns at us.

Oh, my God. Do not worry about it.

It's totally fine.

We need to find out
how Nucci got to Debbie.

Fortunately, it turns out she
kept a fairly comprehensive diary.

As a power journaler, I think we can hold
off on using the word "comprehensive."

Oh, damn, that's comprehensive.

These are all just from this year?

This one is labeled August 21st. Morning.

This one is August 21st Evening.

This entire dairy is about
an episode of House Hunters.

This is gonna take forever.

I actually took a speed reading course.
I tested at 800 WPM.

That's pathetic. I tested at 802.

That's pretty close to Holt's score.

No, no. 802's incredible. She pwned me.

I read the entire Urban Dictionary

so I could converse with
the other uniformed officers.

Finished it in 47 minutes.

I've never been so
attracted to a gay man before.

And I dated several in college.

Shall we have a read-off, Santiago?

We don't have finger guards.

So we do it raw.

JEFFORDS: Okay, I
normally don't encourage

such childish competitions,

but this might help things go faster.

My only question is, Holt, are you sure

your old ass eyes are
up to the challenge?

HOLT: I know you're
just trying to motivate me,

but these old ass eyes will be
reading your tombstone, son.

Oh, I needed more light in this place.

Now I can finally think, and the
ideas are, like, flowing out of me.

Okay, what about this one?

It's hamburgers, but
the pickles are coins?

Still feel bad for her now
that she's a cokehead?

She's not a cokehead.

She's an innocent girl in a stressful
situation who did cocaine one time

and will probably never do it again.

Whoo! Guess who just did more coke.

This is my thing now.

-[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
-Ooh, okay.

Is it Nucci? Yes.

He wants to know if I can
do the handoff in two hours.

Um, I'm gonna tell him no
because I'm having so much fun

with my new best friends, Jake and Rosa.

Ah, no, no, no. Don't mention us.

You know, because you're
supposed to be working,

not enjoying yourself.

Right, just keep it short.
Say two hours is great.

That's very smart.

And I'm gonna send him my favorite
GIF of Mr. Bean giving a thumbs up.

Oh, Mr. Bean. What a stud.

Hey, Rosa, what would you do

if you could do anything to Mr. Bean?

-Nothing.
-PERALTA: Come on, Rosa.

Don't be shy. Say what you would do to
international sex symbol Mr. Bean's body.

Fine. I would take a very large glass…
[BLEEPING]

let himself out.

I see.

Wow. Um, I just have one quick note.

Mr. Bean never [BLEEPING],

beg for mercy.

Ah, great note, Debbie. The point
is, we all think Mr. Bean is sexy as hell

and wish we looked exactly like him.

You're closer than you think.

Hmm? Oh, hey, Rosa.

It's not that you're a
third wheel or anything,

it's just that we're out of ice,

so could you go get us
some more ice, please?

Hey, well, this is full of ice, but yeah.

I'll hit up the Nine-Nine.

You've actually been texting
the Nine-Nine a lot, haven't you?

Yeah, to make sure our cover's intact,

and so they don't
figure out that we're dirty.

Is that what's really going on?

'Cause I feel like there's
something you're not telling me.

I feel like all that coke
is making you paranoid.

No, you're paranoid.
Now, don't you dare take another step.

[CHUCKLES] Okay.
Debbie, what are you doing?

Give me your phone. That's it.

Debbie Fogle, you are under arrest.

What? Oh, my God.
Are you not really dirty?

Ah… No. And I'll be taking that gun.

-Hiyah! [GRUNTS]
-[GRUNTS]

Okay, so the women's gym and the cocaine
have given Debbie super powers. Cool.

Cool, cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool, cool.

You're making a big mistake, Debbie.
This isn't gonna work.

I'm such a terrible judge of character.

I was wrong about Rosa, I missed
all the signs with my cousin Jared.

[WHISPERS] The sandwich guy.
What is wrong with me?

Nothing. You're just coming down
from the many handfuls of coke you did.

Right. I'm so dumb. I'm such an idiot!
I'm dumb, I'm dumb.

Ah, hey, why don't you let
me hold your gun for you?

And then you can hit yourself in the
face with your fist like a normal person

having a mental breakdown.

I can't give you my gun.

You'll probably try and arrest me.

Debbie, I'm not like Rosa.
Here, check my phone.

I haven't been texting the Nine-Nine.

I have nothing to hide.

I don't know. There are a lot of
sweet messages between you and Amy.

I thought you said
she stinks like [BLEEP].

She does. Prove it.

Describe her stink to me.

Don't think about it, just say it.

Bad mayo, three-day-old macaroni salad.

Okay, I buy it. I trust you.

Why'd you do that?

Rosa probably told the
Nine-Nine that you're corrupt

and they could use your phone
to track us to the new drop site.

Oh. Right, smart.

Hey, should I drive?

You know, that way, you can take a nap

and get the coke out of your system.
[SNORTING]

And we'll both be calm and
you just did a bunch more.

I did! I'm the king of New York.

I'm driving. Whoo!

So how's it going?

What do you want, Terry?

Or are you just here to
fan some more flames?

No, I'm just here to see who's losing

and therefore has to wear this hat I
made that says, "More Stupider." [LAUGHS]

Fine. Yeah, I'm fanning flames.

Fan, fan, fan, fan, fan, Santiago.

Don't call her, "Santiago,"
call her, "Virginia Slim,"

because I'm smoking her.

Damn, Ray! [CHUCKLES]

You guys are moving fast,

but there's no way you're
actually comprehending anything.

I'm taking my time and
reading deliberately,

and you know what they say,
slow and steady wins the race.

[SCOFFS] Classic reg-reader bullcrap.

Yeah, what are you gonna say next,

that you read to relax?

[BOTH LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

[BOTH SIGHING]

This is so much better than
that dump of a hotel, right?

[SNIFFS] This place has six chimneys.

Uh, hey, Debbie, whose house is this?

Oh, it's mine.
I own it, um, until 11 a.m. on Monday.

We have to be out by then, or
it's another $45,000 to Airbnb.

But until then, I'm a mansion girl.

What happened to using the
money for your father's surgery?

Was that a lie? No.

No, my dad really is sick,
but I found out this morning

that my stupid brother Derek
already paid for his surgery.

He thinks he's so
great 'cause he's, like,

a big shot lawyer and he has a family

and he's not afraid of ghosts.

Well, guess what, I get
to keep the cash now.

So take that, Derek,
and, you know, put it.

She's a mansion girl

She's so rich and she's hot

She's a mansion girl
With a kitchen island

Little pitchy.
Still think Debbie's a good person?

Not gonna lie, the whole dad
reveal did not help my case.

All right, I'm gonna use her
burner phone to call the Nine-Nine.

DEBBIE: Look what I found.

Do you like it, Jake?

Uh, yes, I love it.

Real Cruella De Vil vibe.

No, no, no. I'm not Cruella De Vil.

I would never hurt dogs.

I'm Perdita.

Who? The romantic lead of the film.

Pongo's wife?

The girl dog.

Yes, yes! Of course.

You look exactly like Perdita.

Oh, my God. Thank you so much.

Hey, Debbie? Hmm.

Will you hand me your phone so I can
take your picture and you can 'Gram this?

I mean, the house, this coat.

You're gonna wanna show
this off to people, right?

That is such a good idea.

I do wanna show off to people.

I just have to make a quick call.

Hi, Mom. Do you like my mansion?

Deborah Lyn, why are you holding a gun?

Oh, my God, Mom!

I'm wearing a fur coat and
that's what you focus on?

I hate you so freaking much.

BOYLE: This is ridiculous.

Neither of you have even
taken a bathroom break.

Are you kidding me?

Do you think world
record-holder Howard Berg

would stop in the middle
of a read-off to expel?

Ow.

What's going on, Santiago? It's nothing.

It's my guide finger,
I've got paper burn.

Let me see. Hmm. [CHUCKLES]

Santiago, you're hurt.

Don't be a hero. [SIGHS]

Damn, you must've been cooking.

I was. Let's take a break.

Put some ointment on that. Right.

And when I come back, my finger's
slipping all over the page. Nice try.

I'm not falling for any of your tricks.

Oh, but you already have, while you
were waggling your finger in the air,

I've been reading all this time
out of the corner of my eye.

Damn it!

Why are you doing this, Deborah Lyn?

Because you're being so mean, Mom.

Also, I know that if I didn't tie you up,

you'd probably go run and find
your phone so you could call Derek.

Maybe we should call Derek.

He could help. He's a lawyer.

Yeah, I know he's a lawyer.

Do you think you could go more than
five minutes without bringing that up?

-[CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
-You have to get the gun from her.

I know, but how do I get close enough?

There's one way.
She clearly has a thing for you.

Why do you say that? Just because
she has a fantasy of us as a dog couple?

Wait. Yeah, I see it. That's gonna work.

DEBBIE:…very tacky.

And it's like, you don't even care

how many chimneys I have.

Hey, sorry to interrupt.

Mrs. Fogle, we weren't introduced.

I'm Jake, Debbie's boyfriend.

You are? We are?

I mean, yeah, if you're into it.

I am. I do.

See, Mom, I am with someone.

All those psychics were wrong.

So listen, babe.

Yes, babe.

I was thinking… About what, babe?

That we… Go on, babe.

Wow, you really latched onto
the "babe" thing, huh? I love it.

Great. Great. Great.
Well, anyways, I was just gonna say that,

you know, once we're
done with this big score,

we need a place to hide out. Somewhere
where the cops could never find us.

Ooh, like Epcot?

Uh, yes, Epcot is great.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

We can kiss in front of the Eiffel Tower,

on the canals of Venice,
oh, in the Canada Pavilion.

Yes, but why wait till
the Canada Pavilion

when we can start right now, huh?

Oh, my God. This is happening.

Come here.

[BOTH GRUNT]

Hiyah!

What the hell, babe?

Debbie, what's you plan here? Talk to me.

Why? So you can just
tell me more beautiful lies?

You think you can just lick your
lips and make me weak in the knees?

No.

Nice try, but I closed my
eyes, so I didn't even see it.

-[CELL PHONE BEEPING]
-Oh, come on.

Oh. Nucci's on his way. [LAUGHS]

And I'm about to be rich.

Debbie, this is bad.
You don't wanna be an accessory to murder.

What are you talking about?

What do you think is gonna
happen when Nucci gets here

and finds two cops? He's gonna kill us.

Yeah, I know that.

Um, I've obviously
thought all of this through

and it all is going
according to my plans.

[GUN FIRING]

I'm sorry, I just started
trembling and I accidentally…

Debbie, please, just put the gun down!

I just talked to the manager at the
hotel where the handoff was happening.

He said Debbie's room was empty
and there's no sign of Rosa or Jake.

Is there anything in those
diaries that can help us find 'em?

Debbie mentioned her mom a
bunch in one of the ones I read.

Seems like she tells her everything.
Ooh, that's a good lead.

It is a good lead, isn't it?

Did you hear that, speed freaks?

Let's find out all we can about the mom.

I'll start reading right away
because slow and steady wins…

Her mother's name is Margaret Jean Fogle.

She lives in Bensonhurst.
She drives a maroon Lexus.

Vanity plates, "DEREKSMOM."

She's been married three times.
To Horace Miller.

Then Frank Yelter. And then James Fogle.

She goes grocery shopping on Tuesdays.
Water aerobics on Wednesdays.

Book Club on Fridays.
She drinks too much wine.

Always a pinot grigio. Always from Napa.

The race, slow and steady wins the race.

Okay, uh, what if I just
tell Nucci not to kill you?

You know, we're business partners.

We make all of our
business decisions together.

Yep. We're all gonna die today.

Debbie, if you just untie us,

we can help you get out of here.

Okay, but if I untie
you, you'll arrest me,

and then I'll go to prison
for the rest of my life.

DIAZ: You'll be in prison anyway.

I guarantee you if
anything happens to us,

the Nine-Nine will hunt you down.

Okay, okay, okay.

Maybe I should surrender.

Uh, but I don't wanna go to jail.

Okay. I don't know what to do.

Um, Mom, help me.

Now you need my help?

Please. It doesn't matter what I
say, you're still gonna mess it up.

Just like you messed up your bangs
when you had to cut your own hair.

Well, I'm sure that was a long time ago.

That was last year. I see.

Or when you got in a car accident

when your brother was
going to take the bar.

Or when you lost all your money

investing in that cruise line for cats.

Feline Cruise Line.

You know what, you're
not my daughter any more.

What? What are you saying?

You have embarrassed me
and the family for the last time.

I'm done with you.

Goodbye.

Shut up, Margaret!

Same crap my parents pulled.

Always pointing out my flaws,

never helping and then
bailing when things got messy.

You know, I was a lot like you.

You were holed up with a ton
of cocaine and a bunch of guns?

That's my business. What?

I spent years telling myself

that tough love made me stronger,

but you know what I
really wish they'd done?

What? Been nice to me.

I wish they would've
told me I made a mistake,

but they still loved me.

And they would help
me try to figure it out.

Would've saved me a lot of pain.

Debbie, you have made
some really bad choices today.

Really bad. Not now, Debbie's mom.

You are not a bad person.

If we get out of this alive, I promise
you, I will help you however I can.

Wow. Thank you.

Oh, your back is very wet.

Yeah, I guess between the
fur coat and all the cocaine,

I've been sweating a lot.

-[TIRES SCREECHING]
-That's Nucci, he's here.

Hi, Debbie. Do you have something for me?

Yes, I do. I do have something.

I have two friends.

What the hell is this?

Drop your weapons.

No way. You drop your weapons.

[SIREN BLARING]

FEMALE OFFICER: NYPD! Everyone down on
the ground! Down on the ground, right now!

Don't do anything stupid.

I will shoot her. Put down your gun.

Oh, man.
Grabbing Debbie was a big mistake.

What do you mean by… [GRUNTS]

Hiyah!

Whoa, Debbie, that was amazing.

Thanks. By the way, Jake
thinks you smell like [BLEEP].

What? That's weird.
I don't know why she said that.

Anyways, let's get Debbie into a cop car.

Well, you really gonna help out Debbie

or did you say all that
stuff so she'd let us go?

I told the DA she cooperated
and he agreed to be lenient.

Especially since we got Nucci
and the cocaine was returned.

Except for the pound
of it that Debbie did.

Yeah, the paramedic said he had never
heard a human heart beat that loudly.

He could hear it outside of her body.

Ugh. She'll probably get ten years,

but it's better than 30.

Let's be real. Debbie's life wasn't
gonna begin till she was 50 anyway.

Yeah, the kooky aunt vibe will
probably play a lot better then.

So, hey, one more thing.

We can never let anyone know
that we got beat up by Debbie Fogle.

Agreed. Take it to the grave?

To the grave.
This conversation never happened.

I don't even know who you are.
That's hurtful.

You took it too far. That's a weird thing

for a stranger to say.

Bye.

Okay.