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1
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:14,214
-(dance music playing)
- NADJA: What can I say?
2
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:16,049
The nightclub has really
taken off recently.
3
00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:18,318
Nadja's has become the hot spot
4
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,088
for the tri-state area
vampire community.
5
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:22,656
And I, its queen.
6
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,292
Most of the vampires lining up
won't get in
7
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:27,094
due to general ugliness. Move!
8
00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:29,396
Okay, you two in the denim
capes, it ain't happening.
9
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:31,498
Fly back to New Jersey.
10
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,735
NADJA: This place has
even started attracting human celebrities,
11
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,770
which is really great
for business.
12
00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:38,138
There's three of them now.
13
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,573
Sofia, you stupid bitch,
14
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,675
when are you gonna put me
in one of your movies?
15
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,077
I want to show the camera
my bling ring. (laughs)
16
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,445
JIM:
Hey, Colin really is
17
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,080
performing tonight, right?
18
00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:48,415
We are very excited, man.
19
00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:50,250
We've been hearing
about him for weeks.
20
00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:52,519
Colin is going to be on stage
in three minutes.
21
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,021
Great, that kid is incredible.
22
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,522
More than a star,
he's a phenomenon.
23
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,192
He does have a certain
je ne sais quoi. (laughs)
24
00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,993
(speaking French)
25
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,698
He must have brain scrambles.
That was utter gibberish.
26
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,533
-(laughs)
- SOFIA: Can I just ask you,
27
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:10,070
what's the "Celebrity Special,"
and is it really $5,000?
28
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:13,207
Oh, the Celebrity Special!
29
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,575
Something you're interested in?
30
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,243
- Yes, very much.
- Yes, please. - Jim?
31
00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:17,778
Oh, not for me.
We're shooting in the morning.
32
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,580
And, really, I don't make
that kind of money.
33
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:23,483
Oh. Celebrity Special
for two, anyone?
34
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,586
-(shouting, cheering)
- NADJA: Okay, uh...
35
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:26,386
You two, over here.
36
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,122
May I present for you
37
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:31,625
the Celebrity Special?
38
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:33,227
It's to die for.
39
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,330
(cheering)
40
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,598
Oh, shit, that looks so real.
41
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,466
NADJA:
It's so much more fun
42
00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:42,035
when the celebrities actually
ask for it themselves.
43
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:43,170
He's empty.
44
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,439
Come on, you guys.
You are really good.
45
00:01:45,472 --> 00:01:46,640
That is amazing.
46
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:49,142
-(chanting): Do the head.
- That's right.
47
00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:52,012
- Do the head...
-(cheering)
48
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:55,148
(chuckling): I could never
afford a gag like this.
49
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:56,750
That's amazing.
50
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,319
We're so glad you're enjoying
the show, Jim. (laughs)
51
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,455
("You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing)
52
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:04,057
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long ♪
53
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:06,527
♪ They have no use
for your song ♪
54
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,196
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead ♪
55
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:12,332
♪ You're dead
and out of this world ♪
56
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,570
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone ♪
57
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:19,373
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world ♪
58
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,642
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead ♪
59
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,578
♪ You're dead
and out of this world. ♪
60
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,380
♪ ♪
61
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,489
- Over here!
-(cheering)
62
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:37,391
- Sofia? - NADJA:
You think that the celebrities
63
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,293
would have caught on by now,
but I have got Chloë Sevigny
64
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,061
and Tiki Barber booked
for tomorrow night,
65
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:43,463
and the great Fran Lebowitz
on Thursday.
66
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,566
She says what
we're all thinking.
67
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:49,203
Okay, time for my little
moneymaker, Baby Colin.
68
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,104
Let's get on with the show.
69
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:52,239
Now, where is he?
70
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:54,741
-(grunts)
-(whispers indistinctly)
71
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,411
Are you fucking kidding me?
72
00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:59,713
What do you mean that
Baby Colin is not performing?
73
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,782
He goes on every night
at 3:00 a. m.!
74
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:04,351
I know, my darling,
but things have changed.
75
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,587
The nightclub
is extraordinarily successful,
76
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:10,190
and we both know why, so his
contract must reflect that.
77
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:12,359
- He doesn't have a contract.
- Au contraire.
78
00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,595
- I drew one up this morning.
-(Nadja groans)
79
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:19,433
GUILLERMO:
So, full disclosure,
80
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:21,735
(whispers):
I met someone.
81
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:24,304
Well, a while back, when
I was in England with Nadja,
82
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:26,406
there was this guy, Freddie,
83
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,109
and yeah, we just had
this whirlwind romance.
84
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,111
Ever since I've been back here
we've been FaceTiming,
85
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,746
like, all the time.
(laughs)
86
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:35,315
And now, he's coming
to New York for the weekend.
87
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,084
- FREDDIE: See you soon.
-(whispers): Okay, besos.
88
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,586
Which is super exciting
and super terrifying,
89
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:42,189
(chuckles):
because he's the first person
90
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:46,226
that I've ever really
dated dated, you know?
91
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,794
I'm gonna pick him up
at the airport,
92
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,297
and we're gonna spend
the whole weekend in the city,
93
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,633
- just Freddie and I and...
-(doorbell rings)
94
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:55,469
Oh, sorry. Sorry, guys.
I'll be back.
95
00:03:57,037 --> 00:04:00,007
- Surprise. (laughs)
- Oh. Freddie.
96
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,175
My flight got in early.
97
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,076
Oh, my God, look at your face.
98
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,679
-"Look at my face." Oh, wow.
- Aww.
99
00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:07,181
Who-who are these guys?
100
00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:08,315
It's a, uh, a documentary crew.
101
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:09,650
How did you find my place?
102
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,485
Oh, return address
of the post you sent me.
103
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:14,254
Sorry, the "mail" you sent me.
Oh, my God, you Americans.
104
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:16,123
-(laughs)
- NANDOR: Guillermo?
105
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,325
Oh. That is very kind of you,
106
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,327
but I'm not hungry right now.
107
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,098
GUIDE:
(clears throat) Number one,
108
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:28,101
"Nightclub staff will not
make direct eye contact
109
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,603
with Colin unless they are
giving him a gift."
110
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,538
-(Nadja groans)
- COLIN: Hey, Nadja, guess what?
111
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,407
- NADJA: What?
- Chicken butt.
112
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,109
- Ugh.
- Okay, number two, uh,
113
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,778
"We also require a merch table,
114
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:40,414
"where we will sell
Colin's new compact disc..."
115
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,050
LASZLO: Call Me Colin:
An Hour of Singsongs
116
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,752
and Laugh-'Em-Ups
for the Whole Famn Damily.
117
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,388
- Are you gonna sign it?
- Of course not!
118
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:49,623
My darling,
if it wasn't for this boy,
119
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,124
your club would be
as dead as disco.
120
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,726
- COLIN: And guess what?
- BOTH: What?
121
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,495
All I want is to sing and dance
and make people smile.
122
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,798
I don't even really care about
all this contract baloney.
123
00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,200
No, no, no, no. He doesn't
know what he's saying.
124
00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:01,502
So, do have we a deal?
125
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,438
Um, let me just have a little
think, uh, mull it over.
126
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,242
- All right.
- What is this made of?
127
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:10,611
Fuck no!
Do you think that my club
128
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,680
needs this little weird
ventriloquist tap-dancing freak?
129
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:16,183
- Hey.
- But he is our main attraction.
130
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,252
I could replace him in a second.
131
00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:19,720
Well, good luck with that.
132
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,221
I've had the owner
of the hottest vampire nightclub
133
00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:22,689
on the phone to me
day and night,
134
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,157
and he's not the only one.
135
00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:25,759
So you're actually
going to leave?
136
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:28,028
Looks that way, doesn't it?
Come on, boy.
137
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,564
Let's take your talents upstate.
138
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:32,599
Albany and Binghamton,
to be more precise, but...
139
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,668
- got to start somewhere.
-(Nadja groans)
140
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:38,438
FREDDIE: Wow, this place
is like a museum.
141
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,274
I-I can't believe this
is your house, Guillermo.
142
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,042
Well, it's actually
not my house.
143
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,410
I just help take care of Nandor.
144
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:44,678
How'd you never mention that?
145
00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:46,547
I-I thought you worked
at the U. N.
146
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,714
Don't be silly.
147
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:50,517
Guillermo does not work
at the U and N.
148
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,152
(whispering):
He forgets a lot of things.
149
00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,354
His mind doesn't work
the way it used to, so...
150
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:58,025
- I volunteer on my days off.
- Aw, you're so sweet.
151
00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,660
- NANDOR: Guillermo.
- Hmm.
152
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,529
Why did you not tell me you had
a friend coming to visit?
153
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,198
- Friends...
- Oh, we're, uh, we're a little bit
154
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,566
more than friends, actually.
155
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:08,168
Oh, I see.
156
00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,504
- Best friends.
- GUILLERMO: No, uh...
157
00:06:11,305 --> 00:06:13,674
He's my boyfriend.
158
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,542
Oh.
159
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:19,046
- Oh, wow.
-(Freddie chuckles)
160
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:22,149
And I'm sorry I didn't
mention that earlier.
161
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,116
This is fantastic news.
162
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:24,251
- FREDDIE: Right?
- GUILLERMO: Good.
163
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,053
And a long time coming.
164
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,121
- Oh.
- He has been very lonely.
165
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:29,556
- Oh.
- Extremely lonely.
166
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,158
- GUILLERMO: Not that lonely.
- Pretty lonely.
167
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,492
Not that lonely.
168
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:34,061
NANDOR:
Very pathetic. Really lonely.
169
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:37,130
Thank you, Nandor,
that is very interesting.
170
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,800
And can I just reiterate
that your home is beautiful?
171
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:42,603
I-I mean, this tapestry,
is this Turkish in origin?
172
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,404
- Y-Yes.
Yes... - Around the 15th century, this one here?
173
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:45,739
GUILLERMO: Freddie's actually
a junior associate
174
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:47,174
at an auction house in London.
175
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,042
He's kind of an art buff.
176
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,144
-(laughs): No.
- Very good eye.
177
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:54,548
I disemboweled many villagers
to get this tapestry.
178
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,083
(whispers): We're thinking
of upping his medicine dose
179
00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,484
-'cause...
-(Freddie laughs)
180
00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:00,187
I would love to hear more
of your stories, Nandor.
181
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,055
I'm just so glad
to have a new buddy.
182
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:05,058
Oh, that's me.
183
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,326
I am the buddy.
184
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,462
This, uh, this place
is pretty dusty, though.
185
00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,497
I'd tell you to get a Roomba
in here, but, uh,
186
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,432
- I think it might kill itself.
-(both laugh)
187
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:15,269
-(laughs)
- I couldn't resist.
188
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:18,238
I don't know what any of that
means, but I love it.
189
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,374
Okay. Such long teeth.
190
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:23,110
It's a genetic disorder
in the family.
191
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,212
And, uh, if you ever need anyone
to help you look after
192
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,014
any of these treasures,
193
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,283
- promise you'll give me
a call, eh? - Oh.
194
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,585
So nice to meet you.
What a, what a pleasure.
195
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,120
- I'll see you very soon.
- Yes.
196
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,254
- All right.
- Hopefully.
197
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:36,290
- Bye-bye.
- GUILLERMO: Sorry about that...
198
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,158
- FREDDIE: That's okay.
-(door closes)
199
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,701
NANDOR:
I cannot sleep.
200
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:49,570
My mind has been seized
by thoughts
201
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:52,372
of a very special person.
202
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,375
A person by the name of...
203
00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:56,443
Freddie.
204
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,312
Ever since he and Guillermo
205
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:01,415
left for the hotel,
Freddie's charm
206
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:05,519
and sweet, supportive nature
have echoed in my mind.
207
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,454
He touched my arm.
208
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,157
Also, things have grown
a little stale
209
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,025
with my beloved Marwa.
210
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:14,161
Are you, um...
211
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:17,431
enjoying sitting in that chair?
212
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:20,501
Yes. Hmm.
213
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,037
And yours is good?
214
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:26,507
Yes, uh...
215
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:30,377
It was a little bit hard,
so I put a cushion on it.
216
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:32,546
- Wonderful.
- Yes.
217
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:35,082
NANDOR (sighs):
Fuck, she's boring.
218
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,217
But marriage is sacred to me.
219
00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:40,187
I never once cheated
on any of my 37 wives,
220
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,256
and I'm not about to start now.
221
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:45,592
Could I steal Freddie
from Guillermo?
222
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,760
Of course.
223
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,228
But that would be cruel.
224
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:51,765
And also, you know,
sloppy seconds.
225
00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:53,100
If only...
226
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,102
Excuse me for a moment.
227
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,238
(quietly): I'm not sure
if this is possible,
228
00:08:58,272 --> 00:09:00,507
but I wish for Marwa
to be transformed
229
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:05,078
into an exact copy
of this person: Freddie.
230
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:07,681
Appearance, personality, everything.
231
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,783
- Why are you whispering?
- Because Marwa is someone
232
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,618
that I love very much,
233
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,153
and I don't want her to hear
that I'm about to change her
234
00:09:13,187 --> 00:09:15,355
into a completely
different person.
235
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,192
As you wish.
236
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,730
Marwa?
237
00:09:25,199 --> 00:09:27,301
(door creaks)
238
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,002
Hello.
239
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:31,371
Hi, there. I'm Freddie.
240
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,106
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
241
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,341
Boy, this place is pretty dusty.
242
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:35,676
I'd tell you to get
a Roomba in here,
243
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,377
but I think
it might kill itself.
244
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,680
-(both laugh)
- Sorry, I couldn't resist.
245
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,383
Freddie.
246
00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:47,154
Our star performer's departure
247
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,656
could not come at a worse time
for Mistress Nadja.
248
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:52,192
I'm actually a little worried
about her.
249
00:09:52,226 --> 00:09:54,228
There's so much pressure
running a nightclub,
250
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:57,064
and she's been consuming
a massive amount
251
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,298
of liquor blood.
252
00:09:58,332 --> 00:09:59,733
Are you talking shit about me?
253
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,002
- No.
- Hey, I love you like a sister, baby,
254
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,538
you know it, but even--
if you even think
255
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:08,008
about damaging my brand,
I will cut you in two!
256
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,343
(glass shattering)
257
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:10,744
Okay!
258
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,714
- COLIN: Lazzo, guess what?
- LASZLO: What?
259
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:17,084
I can't believe I'm on the road,
on my own tour bus.
260
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,419
Now, this one maybe
isn't as nice as the one
261
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,055
in Cameron Crowe's
turn-of-the-century masterpiece
262
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:25,259
- Almost Famous, but it...
- We've got to work our way to the top, boy.
263
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,793
We got to strike out on tour.
264
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:29,496
It's how all the best
vampire acts started.
265
00:10:29,530 --> 00:10:32,065
Gloria Estefang. Bloody Holly.
266
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,134
Bat Stevens. Batboy Slim.
267
00:10:34,168 --> 00:10:36,703
Hall & Throats. Tame Impaler.
268
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,605
The Undead Kennedys.
269
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,642
-(microphone whines faintly)
-(clears throat)
270
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,210
NADJA:
Freshly drained blood
271
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,112
of a drunk human celebrity.
272
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,781
Just a little something
to keep Mama sharp.
273
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:51,518
Rest in peace,
Sofia Copp-Coppola.
274
00:10:51,552 --> 00:10:55,022
Let us get on with it.
Bring on the first little freak!
275
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,090
GUIDE: Well, first
we have Jack Metcalf.
276
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:59,560
He is repped
by Christie Marx Management.
277
00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:02,563
He is four feet
and two inches high.
278
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:03,764
(whoops)
279
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:07,000
♪ Let me call you
sweetheart... ♪
280
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:09,369
Flat! Flat!
281
00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:12,005
You don't have the range, babe.
282
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,707
Get off my stage. Next!
283
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:17,211
GUIDE: Peter Doskin, repped
by Grandpa and Grandma.
284
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,112
Chrysanthemum.
285
00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:20,447
C-H-R-Y-S-A...
286
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,217
Why are you not stuffed
in a locker somewhere?
287
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:26,687
Your bullies are not doing
a good enough job.
288
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,055
Next!
289
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,591
♪ Meet me in dream land ♪
290
00:11:30,624 --> 00:11:32,759
♪ Sweet dreamy dream land ♪
291
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:37,064
♪ There let my dreams
come true. ♪
292
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:38,465
(light applause)
293
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,734
Right, well, that's enough,
you freeloading deadbeats.
294
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,070
If you want to watch,
then you've got to pay. Come on.
295
00:11:44,638 --> 00:11:46,273
(piano playing)
296
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,442
Ugh.
297
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,678
No, no, no.
298
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:54,515
No.
299
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,049
(grunts) Okay.
300
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,551
I'm coming. Stop it.
301
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,786
Okay, stop tapping.
Watch and learn, bitch.
302
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,688
♪ There's a large bird ♪
303
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,590
♪ Stealing all my brothers... ♪
304
00:12:03,624 --> 00:12:06,326
-(gasps)
- GUIDE: Auditions are over.
305
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,328
NADJA: No, it's going well.
That was the finale.
306
00:12:08,362 --> 00:12:10,130
Ta-da!
307
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,573
- Thank you. Thank you so much.
-(Spanish song playing)
308
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:22,442
GUILLERMO:
Aw.
309
00:12:22,476 --> 00:12:25,078
I even let him make a list
of all the things
310
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:27,247
he's always wanted
to do in New York City.
311
00:12:27,281 --> 00:12:30,751
NANDOR: I'm having the
best time with my Freddie.
312
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:32,753
♪ ♪
313
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,721
NANDOR:
He has written a list of things
314
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:36,790
he would like to do
in New York City,
315
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:39,459
and now we are doing
those things.
316
00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:42,095
- Is-is it your turn
next? I-I think-- - No.
317
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,064
-(cheering)
- Oh, my God!
318
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,465
(laughing):
Wow.
319
00:12:45,499 --> 00:12:48,168
NANDOR:
(grunts) Hey! Hey!
320
00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:50,037
(laughs):
Oh, wow!
321
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,039
- Wait, wait.
- Oh, okay. All right.
322
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,041
- Come around.
-(laughs)
323
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,476
(laughter, indistinct chatter)
324
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:58,478
♪ ♪
325
00:12:58,512 --> 00:12:59,613
(laughs)
326
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,181
GUILLERMO:
So, this weekend has
327
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:02,616
made me realize
that I really need
328
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:04,451
- a life outside of work.
-(laughs): Yeah.
329
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:07,054
I felt like I literally kept
seeing Nandor everywhere--
330
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:08,722
which is ridiculous--
331
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:11,458
because that's how much space
he occupies in my mind.
332
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,060
- Anyways, we're not talking about Nandor.
- No.
333
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,394
- Let's go get some cheesecake.
- Okay.
334
00:13:14,428 --> 00:13:16,196
-(laughter)
- Hello.
335
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:18,365
NADJA: Well, last night's
auditions were a mess.
336
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,133
And then I realized,
337
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:23,070
why am I even trying to find
another child performer?
338
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,204
Fuck them kids.
339
00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:28,442
This is a scary,
sexy nightclub for adults.
340
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:32,746
So I decided to call
Le Cirque Érotique.
341
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:38,085
GUIDE: Le Cirque Érotique
is a legendary consortium
342
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,787
of sophisticated
and deeply carnal
343
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:43,524
vampire circus performers.
344
00:13:43,557 --> 00:13:45,325
Some of the most thrilling,
obscene spectacles
345
00:13:45,359 --> 00:13:47,394
known to vampires.
346
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,363
NADJA:
They're famously tough to book.
347
00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:50,797
GUIDE:
But they are coming here
348
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:54,034
to perform tonight!
(laughs)
349
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:56,036
LASZLO:
Lamar?
350
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,205
Yeah, I'm just checking in.
This place is amazing.
351
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:01,708
It has ice on demand,
24 hours a day.
352
00:14:01,742 --> 00:14:03,043
And it's gratis.
353
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,578
I've got to go,
'cause it's showtime.
354
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:06,446
Why isn't that boy
doing his scales?
355
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,448
Why aren't you doing
your scales, boy...
356
00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:11,084
-(voice cracking): Hey.
Time to hit the road. - Shit.
357
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:14,321
This little star's ready
to shake his moneymaker.
358
00:14:15,756 --> 00:14:17,257
Is something wrong?
359
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,526
Do you feel
there's something wrong?
360
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,728
(voice cracking):
No. How far is it to the venue?
361
00:14:21,762 --> 00:14:23,664
To the what?
362
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,499
- COLIN: Venue.
- Um...
363
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,601
Not far.
364
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:29,036
(whispers):
The fuck?
365
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,104
Right, now,
that was a bit of a shock.
366
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:34,174
He appears to have
hit puberty overnight.
367
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:36,710
The worst thing is,
I don't think he realizes it.
368
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:39,179
-(microphone whines quietly)
- HOST: All right.
369
00:14:39,213 --> 00:14:41,348
All the way up
from Staten Island,
370
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,350
let's give a warm,
Binghamton welcome
371
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,320
to the most talented
little boy in the world,
372
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,488
- Baby Colin.
-(applause)
373
00:14:48,522 --> 00:14:50,557
Hi, Binghamton.
374
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:56,597
(voice cracking): ♪ If you want to ring the bell not once, but twice...
♪
375
00:14:56,630 --> 00:14:58,232
MAN:
He's just a kid.
376
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:01,435
♪ If you want to roll and roll
those lucky dice... ♪
377
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,437
Come on, let's get
a big clap going.
378
00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:05,339
-(rising chatter)
-(scattered clapping)
379
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:08,175
♪ If you want to spend
your journey's end ♪
380
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,110
♪ With sweet music and love... ♪
381
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,312
WOMAN:
That's not Baby Colin.
382
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,248
- It is-- Yeah, it is.
- WOMAN: Fuck-- fuck off.
383
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:15,616
I don't think it's him.
384
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:17,651
- MAN: Get off the stage!
- Everyone hates me!
385
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,753
(audience hissing)
386
00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:23,056
- Go eat shit.
- Be back soon.
387
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,591
GUIDE:
Oh, that's fun.
388
00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:27,127
NADJA: Come on, the circus
troupe is loading in soon.
389
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,495
- GUSTAVE: Hello?
- Ah.
390
00:15:28,529 --> 00:15:30,364
Gustave LeRoy
of Le Cirque Érotique.
391
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,366
Hello, I am Nadja. Welcome.
392
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:34,034
And the rest of your troupe
are, um...
393
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,069
Oh, I thought they told you.
394
00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,337
It's just gonna be me tonight.
395
00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:39,573
Yeah, nobody else was available,
but lucky for you,
396
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,575
I'm very free. Oh.
397
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,644
I'd like to have you put those
up around the club, please.
398
00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:45,179
NADJA:
Just you?
399
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:48,115
"The clown who can suck
himself off."
400
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,616
I put a little comedy
into it as well.
401
00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:51,752
Now, where is a good place
for me to, uh,
402
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,320
start my stretches?
403
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:54,721
GUILLERMO:
Hello?
404
00:15:54,755 --> 00:15:56,323
I just need to get
some insoles for my feet.
405
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:58,559
- They're killing me.
-(distant laughter)
406
00:16:01,695 --> 00:16:03,063
- NANDOR: ...the left nipple.
-(Freddie Clone laughs)
407
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:05,065
Hey, look who it is.
408
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,367
Freddie, what are you-- How?
409
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:10,170
- Welcome.
- You were just in the car with me.
410
00:16:10,204 --> 00:16:12,506
Don't be silly.
This is not your Freddie.
411
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:16,109
- This is my own Freddie.
- All right, bruv.
412
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,178
What the hell?
413
00:16:18,212 --> 00:16:20,447
I asked the djinn to turn Marwa
into a carbon copy
414
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,249
of your Freddie.
415
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,384
- What is wrong with you?
- Don't be upset about it.
416
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,119
- You should be flattered.
- Put him back...
417
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:28,355
- Gigi, what's taking you so long? We need to go.
- No, um...
418
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:29,756
Freddie, you should probably
wait in the car, because...
419
00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:31,358
Um...
420
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,364
(both screaming)
421
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:48,075
Please give a warm welcome
to your entertainment
422
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:51,245
for the evening,
Mr. Gustave LeRoy, huh?
423
00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:54,181
(cheering, applause)
424
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,717
(whooping)
425
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,218
GUIDE:
Ah, yeah!
426
00:16:58,252 --> 00:17:00,320
(whistling, gasping)
427
00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:02,289
Yeah!
428
00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:05,459
(laughter)
429
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:07,060
WOMAN:
Yeah, let's see it.
430
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,696
(cheering)
431
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,766
Yes!
432
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,301
MAN:
He's really going for it.
433
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:15,702
He's going for a full suck!
434
00:17:15,736 --> 00:17:17,104
Hey, Sofia, so it turns out
435
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,506
it's just some guy
sucking his own dick.
436
00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:22,176
Anyway, very funny the way
you guys disappeared
437
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:25,312
the other night after
the bloody magic trick,
438
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,514
which I'm still trying
to figure out.
439
00:17:27,548 --> 00:17:30,484
But enough is enough.
Come on, call me back.
440
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,386
(whooping)
441
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:33,754
- Really?
- WOMAN: That's it?
442
00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:35,622
- MAN: That's it?
- That was, like, 20 seconds.
443
00:17:35,656 --> 00:17:37,191
Ladies and gentlemen,
444
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,259
it was a pleasure for me
445
00:17:39,293 --> 00:17:41,728
- to suck myself off for you.
-(audience booing)
446
00:17:43,697 --> 00:17:45,399
- What the fuck was that?
- Wasn't that amazing?
447
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:46,767
I've never lasted that long.
448
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,702
This was supposed to be
a whole evening of sucking.
449
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,070
You're useless.
450
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,505
(whoops)
Okay, to, um,
451
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,707
keep the fun going
and liven you guys up,
452
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:57,511
we're gonna release
the blood sprinklers.
453
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,313
(cheering, applause)
454
00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:02,349
Get ready for loads of blood.
455
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:05,619
- GUIDE: Oh, yeah! -
Spill the blood for the vampires.
456
00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:09,122
NADJA: We love blood so much.
(whoops)
457
00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:12,192
Blood sprinklers. Can we get
the blood sprinklers on?
458
00:18:12,226 --> 00:18:14,361
Let's get them on.
459
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,397
-(patrons gasping)
- WOMAN: Billy!
460
00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:18,532
Uh...
461
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,767
- Um... Okay...
-(indistinct chatter)
462
00:18:20,801 --> 00:18:24,037
- NADJA: Son of a bitch!
- WOMAN: Peace out, I'm done.
463
00:18:24,071 --> 00:18:25,739
Hang on. No, no, no, don't go,
'cause I'm going to perform.
464
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,108
♪ There's a large bird ♪
465
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,476
♪ Stealing my brothers... ♪
466
00:18:29,510 --> 00:18:32,112
Come on, guys.
Let's get a big clap going.
467
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:34,081
(whoops)
468
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:36,450
♪ And I realized
that the egg was me... ♪
469
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:39,119
-(shouts)
- GUIDE: Oh, no.
470
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:41,188
NANDOR:
In three, two, one, go!
471
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:44,191
- Okay, um, uh, the Panama Canal.
- Got it.
472
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:46,126
- Uh, oh, uh, pizza chef.
- Yep.
473
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:48,462
- Uh, Barbie doll. Uh, Alaska.
- Yep. Yep.
474
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,764
NANDOR:
So, I did a little hypnosis
475
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,533
on the two Freddies.
476
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:54,301
Basically, I told them
not to make such a big a deal
477
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,370
out of the whole cloning thing.
478
00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:58,572
- Uh, Genji monogatari by Murasaki Shikibu.
- Hai!
479
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:01,108
Oh, uh, T-The New Adventures
of Old Christine.
480
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,576
- Yes.
- And that's time.
481
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:05,479
- BOTH: Yes! Come on, Freddie.
- NANDOR: Oh.
482
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:08,182
-(both Freddies laugh)
- Very impressive, you two.
483
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:10,517
Very, um, in sync.
484
00:19:10,551 --> 00:19:11,785
-(laughter)
- NANDOR: Hmm?
485
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,053
- Hmm?
- Very good.
486
00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:15,055
Now they're getting on great,
487
00:19:15,088 --> 00:19:17,457
so the situation
is totally fine.
488
00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:18,759
Fun little evening we're having,
wouldn't you say?
489
00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:20,661
No, I wouldn't say.
490
00:19:20,694 --> 00:19:23,063
- Couldn't just let me have one
thing of my own? - I did.
491
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:24,731
You have your thing
and I have mine.
492
00:19:24,765 --> 00:19:26,133
Oh, so you took your wife,
493
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,634
who you transformed
into the perfect woman,
494
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:29,703
and then turned her into
a carbon copy of my boyfriend?
495
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:32,039
Doesn't that register with you
as being messed up?
496
00:19:32,072 --> 00:19:33,707
Stop saying things
that I have done.
497
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,475
This is my last night
with Freddie.
498
00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:37,511
Okay, this might seem like
a huge game to you, but it's not
499
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:39,613
- to me, I really care about him.
- I know, I just...
500
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:42,716
Do you understand that
I've never, in my whole life,
501
00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:45,619
ever, had a long-term
boyfriend? Not once.
502
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:49,723
And you find a way
to make it about yourself.
503
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,058
So thanks.
504
00:19:51,091 --> 00:19:52,459
Uh, wait-- I...
505
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,194
- Freddie? We're leaving.
- Yes?
506
00:19:54,228 --> 00:19:55,329
- Oh, uh...
- FREDDIE: Oh, uh...
507
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,064
NANDOR:
That's, uh...
508
00:19:57,097 --> 00:19:58,765
That's actually...
509
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:03,604
...my Freddie.
510
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:06,039
Freddie, we're leaving.
511
00:20:06,073 --> 00:20:07,374
Oh, uh, awesome
to meet you, Freddie.
512
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:08,775
Awesome to meet you, too, Freddie.
513
00:20:08,809 --> 00:20:10,711
GUILLERMO:
Freddie, don't talk to Freddie.
514
00:20:17,084 --> 00:20:18,719
Well,
515
00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:20,587
Freddie had to go back
to England...
516
00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:21,722
Bye.
517
00:20:21,755 --> 00:20:23,190
I love you.
518
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:26,059
...meaning I'm back
to my normal life,
519
00:20:26,093 --> 00:20:28,095
being a familiar for Nandor
520
00:20:28,128 --> 00:20:32,699
and his exact clone
of my boyfriend.
521
00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:35,702
At least we can stay in touch
through the Internet.
522
00:20:35,736 --> 00:20:37,404
- FREDDIE (over device): How's it
going? - Are you having beans
523
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:39,439
- for dinner again?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
524
00:20:39,473 --> 00:20:41,008
- You're such a little bean freak, babe.
- Guilty as charged.
525
00:20:41,041 --> 00:20:42,176
FREDDIE CLONE:
Is that who I think it is?
526
00:20:42,209 --> 00:20:44,144
Oh, how's it going, Fredmeister?
527
00:20:44,178 --> 00:20:45,746
Yeah, not too bad, Fredmeister.
528
00:20:45,779 --> 00:20:47,748
- Ooh, did you get a chance to read the deep dive...
- Uh...
529
00:20:47,781 --> 00:20:50,184
...on the Palatine Hill in
this month's Rosetta Journal?
530
00:20:50,217 --> 00:20:53,020
Oh, let me have a think.
Hmm, how about yes?
531
00:20:53,053 --> 00:20:55,322
That's section on early medieval
earthenware they just excavated?
532
00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:57,057
Bombshell, am I right?
533
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,592
I had to put the journal down
and take a walk
534
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,194
- around the block.
- Me, too, I just had to put
535
00:21:00,227 --> 00:21:02,062
the journal down and take
a walk around the block.
536
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,198
- Honestly.
- Me, too! I had to put...
537
00:21:04,798 --> 00:21:07,000
I'm sorry, can we can cut?
538
00:21:07,034 --> 00:21:08,735
LASZLO: You can't cancel
our dates, you bastard.
539
00:21:08,769 --> 00:21:10,204
We've got a contract.
540
00:21:10,237 --> 00:21:12,673
- Don't fuck me.
- Why is this happening to me?
541
00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:14,041
I'm repulsive.
542
00:21:14,074 --> 00:21:17,044
Good grief!
Whatever is that foul odor?
543
00:21:17,077 --> 00:21:18,745
It's me. And Laszlo, guess what?
544
00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:20,581
- What? - I hate you.
You're ruining my life!
545
00:21:20,614 --> 00:21:22,449
Come on, boy,
don't be like that.
546
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:25,552
I can sort this out. Yeah?
I'll get you on stage tonight.
547
00:21:25,586 --> 00:21:29,056
No! I'm not singing
any more of those baby songs.
548
00:21:29,089 --> 00:21:30,490
- And guess what?
- What?
549
00:21:30,524 --> 00:21:32,593
From here on out,
I'll only consider performing
550
00:21:32,626 --> 00:21:36,096
if it's the music of Papa Roach
or Evanescence.
551
00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:37,231
(nu metal playing)
552
00:21:37,264 --> 00:21:39,333
- Fuck off!
- LASZLO: Shut your mouth.
553
00:21:40,634 --> 00:21:42,302
♪ ♪
554
00:21:42,336 --> 00:21:44,037
I am beginning to think
that maybe
555
00:21:44,071 --> 00:21:47,207
what I did was wrong.
556
00:21:47,241 --> 00:21:51,178
Probably not, but maybe.
557
00:21:51,211 --> 00:21:54,715
I set out to make things right
with Guillermo.
558
00:21:54,748 --> 00:21:58,051
I offered to give him
my Freddie,
559
00:21:58,085 --> 00:21:59,486
as a token of apology
560
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,722
and also so that they could have
sex with each other.
561
00:22:01,755 --> 00:22:04,191
No. It's not the same.
562
00:22:04,224 --> 00:22:07,294
- It's pretty similar.
- But it's not.
563
00:22:08,228 --> 00:22:10,063
NANDOR:
That's when I knew I had to let
564
00:22:10,097 --> 00:22:11,164
my Freddie go.
565
00:22:11,198 --> 00:22:12,466
Which also meant
566
00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:15,536
letting my wife Marwa go.
567
00:22:15,569 --> 00:22:18,071
But I did leave her
in Freddie form,
568
00:22:18,105 --> 00:22:20,340
'cause she seemed so much
happier like that.
569
00:22:20,374 --> 00:22:22,743
Perhaps true love is
about more than
570
00:22:22,776 --> 00:22:25,679
wishing for someone who likes
all the things you like.
571
00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:27,181
My sweet Freddie.
572
00:22:27,214 --> 00:22:29,016
My Freddie always told me
that his dream
573
00:22:29,049 --> 00:22:30,317
was to travel the world,
574
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:34,054
explore his passion
for art and history.
575
00:22:34,087 --> 00:22:35,556
Don't forget to buy that Roomba.
576
00:22:35,589 --> 00:22:36,757
(crying):
I won't.
577
00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:38,458
I suppose I am the one
578
00:22:38,492 --> 00:22:40,561
who is now granting a wish.
579
00:22:42,129 --> 00:22:44,064
Fucking sucks.
580
00:22:44,097 --> 00:22:45,432
(sniffles)
581
00:22:45,465 --> 00:22:47,434
NADJA:
It is clear to me now
582
00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:49,703
that without Baby Colin
as its main attraction,
583
00:22:49,736 --> 00:22:51,171
this club cannot survive.
584
00:22:51,205 --> 00:22:54,441
This place was the center
of the vampire universe.
585
00:22:54,474 --> 00:22:57,477
But now it is just a big,
empty piece of shit.
586
00:22:57,511 --> 00:22:59,580
And despite my hopes
of a comeback,
587
00:22:59,613 --> 00:23:02,216
it is clear that
our best days are behind us.
588
00:23:02,249 --> 00:23:04,017
- My darling?
-(gasps) Laszlo!
589
00:23:04,051 --> 00:23:05,552
I've thought of a way
of saving the club.
590
00:23:05,586 --> 00:23:07,020
Ah. How?
591
00:23:07,054 --> 00:23:08,589
I've heard about
this amazing clown
592
00:23:08,622 --> 00:23:10,691
that can suck himself dry.
593
00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:14,061
(moans)
Who is this young ruffian?
594
00:23:14,094 --> 00:23:15,729
You remember Baby Colin?
595
00:23:15,762 --> 00:23:17,331
Well, he's had a growth spurt.
596
00:23:18,265 --> 00:23:19,733
- Hey.
-(gasps)
597
00:23:19,766 --> 00:23:21,435
Can we go?
598
00:23:21,468 --> 00:23:23,170
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Bye.
599
00:23:23,203 --> 00:23:25,706
GUILLERMO:
Cheers from jolly old England.
600
00:23:25,739 --> 00:23:28,575
I decided to go
surprise Freddie,
601
00:23:28,609 --> 00:23:31,011
because why not, right?
You only live once.
602
00:23:31,044 --> 00:23:33,313
And I have
all that money saved that I...
603
00:23:33,347 --> 00:23:35,315
whatever, I stole from the club.
604
00:23:35,349 --> 00:23:37,317
He has no idea
that I'm here, so...
605
00:23:37,351 --> 00:23:39,586
-(distant laughter)
- Oh. Is that him?
606
00:23:39,620 --> 00:23:41,455
Over there, right with...
607
00:23:41,488 --> 00:23:44,091
- I love you, Freddie.
- I love you, too, Freddie.
608
00:23:44,124 --> 00:23:46,460
- Fancy a pint of bitter?
- Why not?
609
00:23:46,493 --> 00:23:48,695
("Layla" by Derek & the Dominos
playing)
610
00:23:48,729 --> 00:23:50,731
♪ ♪
611
00:24:02,042 --> 00:24:03,310
Impaler Swift.
612
00:24:03,343 --> 00:24:05,712
Bruno Scars. Lindsey Suckingham.
613
00:24:05,746 --> 00:24:08,315
And that's not even mentioning
the wraith acts.
614
00:24:08,348 --> 00:24:11,585
Bonnie Wraith. Wraith Hill.
Wraith Evans.
615
00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:12,753
Billy Wraith Cyrus.
616
00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:14,721
Wraith No More.
617
00:24:14,755 --> 00:24:17,024
Wraith Charles.
618
00:24:17,057 --> 00:24:19,326
I could go on.
619
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,428
♪ ♪
620
00:24:50,357 --> 00:24:52,426
♪ ♪
621
00:25:01,635 --> 00:25:04,037
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
622
00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:08,637
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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