All language subtitles for What We Do in the Shadows - 04x09 - Freddie.PLZPROPER.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,003 --> 00:00:02,766 - (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) - NADJA: What can I say? 2 00:00:02,790 --> 00:00:05,250 The nightclub has really taken off recently. 3 00:00:05,274 --> 00:00:07,700 Nadja's has become the hot spot 4 00:00:07,724 --> 00:00:10,208 for the tri-state area vampire community. 5 00:00:10,232 --> 00:00:11,767 And I, its queen. 6 00:00:12,248 --> 00:00:15,727 Most of the vampires lining up won't get in due to general ugliness. 7 00:00:15,751 --> 00:00:18,385 - Move! - Okay, you two in the denim capes, 8 00:00:18,409 --> 00:00:21,255 it ain't happening. Fly back to New Jersey. 9 00:00:21,279 --> 00:00:24,734 NADJA: This place has even started attracting human celebrities, 10 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,257 which is really great for business. 11 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:27,620 There's three of them now. 12 00:00:27,644 --> 00:00:29,185 Sofia, you stupid bitch, 13 00:00:29,209 --> 00:00:30,876 when are you gonna put me in one of your movies? 14 00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:33,269 I want to show the camera my bling ring. (LAUGHS) 15 00:00:33,678 --> 00:00:36,105 JIM: Hey, Colin really is performing tonight, right? 16 00:00:36,129 --> 00:00:38,027 We are very excited, man. 17 00:00:38,051 --> 00:00:39,472 We've been hearing about him for weeks. 18 00:00:39,496 --> 00:00:41,590 Colin is going to be on stage in three minutes. 19 00:00:41,614 --> 00:00:43,541 Great, that kid is incredible. 20 00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:45,183 More than a star, he's a phenomenon. 21 00:00:45,207 --> 00:00:47,476 He does have a certain je ne sais quoi. (LAUGHS) 22 00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:51,800 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 23 00:00:52,276 --> 00:00:54,697 He must have brain scrambles. That was utter gibberish. 24 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,014 - (LAUGHS) - SOFIA: Can I just ask you, 25 00:00:56,038 --> 00:00:59,935 what's the "Celebrity Special," and is it really $5,000? 26 00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:02,697 Oh, the Celebrity Special! 27 00:01:02,721 --> 00:01:03,933 Something you're interested in? 28 00:01:03,957 --> 00:01:04,987 - Yes, very much. - Yes, please. 29 00:01:05,011 --> 00:01:06,520 - Jim? - Oh, not for me. 30 00:01:06,544 --> 00:01:07,777 We're shooting in the morning. 31 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,579 And, really, I don't make that kind of money. 32 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:12,964 Oh. Celebrity Special for two, anyone? 33 00:01:12,988 --> 00:01:14,962 - (SHOUTING, CHEERING) - NADJA: Okay, uh... 34 00:01:14,986 --> 00:01:16,386 You two, over here. 35 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,663 May I present for you 36 00:01:18,687 --> 00:01:20,995 the Celebrity Special? 37 00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:22,588 It's to die for. 38 00:01:22,830 --> 00:01:24,332 (CHEERING) 39 00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:27,597 Oh, shit, that looks so real. 40 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:28,982 NADJA: It's so much more fun 41 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,543 when the celebrities actually ask for it themselves. 42 00:01:31,567 --> 00:01:32,723 He's empty. 43 00:01:32,747 --> 00:01:34,984 Come on, you guys. You are really good. 44 00:01:35,008 --> 00:01:36,177 That is amazing. 45 00:01:36,201 --> 00:01:38,321 - (CHANTING): Do the head. - That's right. 46 00:01:38,345 --> 00:01:41,853 - Do the head... Do the head... - (CHEERING) 47 00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:45,148 (CHUCKLING): I could never afford a gag like this. 48 00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:46,440 That's amazing. 49 00:01:46,464 --> 00:01:49,000 We're so glad you're enjoying the show, Jim. (LAUGHS) 50 00:01:50,906 --> 00:01:53,485 ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪ 51 00:01:53,509 --> 00:01:55,954 ♪ They have no use for your song ♪ 52 00:01:55,978 --> 00:01:58,623 ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ♪ 53 00:01:58,647 --> 00:02:01,750 ♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪ 54 00:02:02,985 --> 00:02:05,997 ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪ 55 00:02:06,021 --> 00:02:08,800 ♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪ 56 00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:11,069 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪ 57 00:02:11,093 --> 00:02:14,005 ♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪ 58 00:02:14,029 --> 00:02:15,798 ♪ ♪ 59 00:02:23,291 --> 00:02:24,916 - Over here! - (CHEERING) 60 00:02:24,940 --> 00:02:27,036 - Sofia? - NADJA: You think that the celebrities 61 00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:28,891 would have caught on by now, but I have got Chloë Sevigny 62 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:30,488 and Tiki Barber booked for tomorrow night, 63 00:02:30,512 --> 00:02:33,123 and the great Fran Lebowitz on Thursday. 64 00:02:33,147 --> 00:02:35,503 She says what we're all thinking. 65 00:02:35,527 --> 00:02:38,622 Okay, time for my little moneymaker, Baby Colin. 66 00:02:38,646 --> 00:02:40,515 Let's get on with the show. 67 00:02:40,539 --> 00:02:41,666 Now, where is he? 68 00:02:41,690 --> 00:02:44,169 - (GRUNTS) - (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) 69 00:02:44,193 --> 00:02:46,838 Are you fucking kidding me? 70 00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:49,428 What do you mean that Baby Colin is not performing? 71 00:02:49,452 --> 00:02:51,698 He goes on every night at 3:00 a. m.! 72 00:02:51,722 --> 00:02:54,063 I know, my darling, but things have changed. 73 00:02:54,087 --> 00:02:56,014 The nightclub is extraordinarily successful, 74 00:02:56,038 --> 00:02:57,589 and we both know why, 75 00:02:57,613 --> 00:02:59,618 so his contract must reflect that. 76 00:02:59,642 --> 00:03:01,949 - He doesn't have a contract. - Au contraire. 77 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:04,176 - I drew one up this morning. - (NADJA GROANS) 78 00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:09,293 GUILLERMO: So, full disclosure, 79 00:03:09,317 --> 00:03:11,162 (WHISPERS): I met someone. 80 00:03:11,186 --> 00:03:13,732 Well, a while back, when I was in England with Nadja, 81 00:03:13,756 --> 00:03:16,249 there was this guy, Freddie, 82 00:03:16,273 --> 00:03:18,897 and yeah, we just had this whirlwind romance. 83 00:03:18,921 --> 00:03:20,530 Ever since I've been back here we've been FaceTiming, 84 00:03:20,554 --> 00:03:22,372 like, all the time. (LAUGHS) 85 00:03:22,396 --> 00:03:25,020 And now, he's coming to New York for the weekend. 86 00:03:25,044 --> 00:03:26,511 - FREDDIE: See you soon. - (WHISPERS): Okay, besos. 87 00:03:26,535 --> 00:03:29,237 Which is super exciting and super terrifying, 88 00:03:29,261 --> 00:03:31,006 (CHUCKLES): because... 89 00:03:31,030 --> 00:03:33,060 he's the first person that I've ever really 90 00:03:34,327 --> 00:03:35,654 dated dated, you know? 91 00:03:35,678 --> 00:03:37,222 I'm gonna pick him up at the airport, 92 00:03:37,246 --> 00:03:39,724 and we're gonna spend the whole weekend in the city, 93 00:03:39,748 --> 00:03:42,544 - just Freddie and I and... - (DOORBELL RINGS) 94 00:03:42,568 --> 00:03:45,371 Oh, sorry. Sorry, guys. I'll be back. 95 00:03:46,730 --> 00:03:49,434 - Surprise. (LAUGHS) - Oh. Freddie. 96 00:03:49,458 --> 00:03:50,602 My flight got in early. 97 00:03:50,626 --> 00:03:52,504 Oh, my God, look at your face. 98 00:03:52,528 --> 00:03:55,106 - "Look at my face." Oh, wow. - Aww. 99 00:03:55,130 --> 00:03:56,608 Who-who are these guys? 100 00:03:56,632 --> 00:03:57,742 It's a, uh, a documentary crew. 101 00:03:57,766 --> 00:03:59,297 How did you find my place? 102 00:03:59,321 --> 00:04:00,912 Oh, return address of the post you sent me. 103 00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:03,682 Sorry, the "mail" you sent me. Oh, my God, you Americans. 104 00:04:03,706 --> 00:04:05,550 - (LAUGHS) - NANDOR: Guillermo? 105 00:04:05,574 --> 00:04:07,752 Oh. That is very kind of you, 106 00:04:07,776 --> 00:04:09,745 but I'm not hungry right now. 107 00:04:13,006 --> 00:04:14,867 GUIDE: (CLEARS THROAT) Number one, 108 00:04:14,891 --> 00:04:17,649 "Nightclub staff will not make direct eye contact 109 00:04:17,673 --> 00:04:19,030 with Colin unless they are giving him a gift." 110 00:04:19,054 --> 00:04:20,582 (NADJA GROANS) 111 00:04:20,606 --> 00:04:22,235 - COLIN: Hey, Nadja, guess what? - NADJA: What? 112 00:04:22,259 --> 00:04:23,703 - Chicken butt. - Ugh. 113 00:04:23,727 --> 00:04:25,537 Okay, number two, uh, 114 00:04:25,561 --> 00:04:27,604 "We also require a merch table, 115 00:04:27,628 --> 00:04:30,034 "where we will sell Colin's new compact disc..." 116 00:04:30,058 --> 00:04:32,477 LASZLO: Call Me Colin: An Hour of Singsongs 117 00:04:32,501 --> 00:04:35,490 and Laugh-'Em-Ups for the Whole Famn Damily. 118 00:04:35,514 --> 00:04:37,816 - Are you gonna sign it? - Of course not! 119 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:39,050 My darling, if it wasn't for this boy, 120 00:04:39,074 --> 00:04:40,552 your club would be as dead as disco. 121 00:04:40,576 --> 00:04:42,153 - COLIN: And guess what? - BOTH: What? 122 00:04:42,177 --> 00:04:45,124 All I want is to sing and dance and make people smile. 123 00:04:45,148 --> 00:04:47,783 I don't even really care about all this contract baloney. 124 00:04:47,807 --> 00:04:49,628 No, no, no, no. He doesn't know what he's saying. 125 00:04:49,652 --> 00:04:50,929 So, do have we a deal? 126 00:04:50,953 --> 00:04:54,222 Um, let me just have a little think, uh, mull it over. 127 00:04:55,612 --> 00:04:57,660 - All right. - What is this made of? 128 00:04:58,401 --> 00:05:00,468 Fuck no! Do you think that my club 129 00:05:00,492 --> 00:05:03,421 needs this little weird ventriloquist tap-dancing freak? 130 00:05:03,445 --> 00:05:05,610 - Hey. - But he is our main attraction. 131 00:05:05,634 --> 00:05:07,679 I could replace him in a second. 132 00:05:07,703 --> 00:05:09,147 Well, good luck with that. 133 00:05:09,171 --> 00:05:10,649 I've had the owner of the hottest vampire nightclub 134 00:05:10,673 --> 00:05:12,117 on the phone to me day and night, 135 00:05:12,141 --> 00:05:13,585 and he's not the only one. 136 00:05:13,609 --> 00:05:15,464 So you're actually going to leave? 137 00:05:15,488 --> 00:05:16,692 Looks that way, doesn't it? 138 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:17,886 Come on, boy. 139 00:05:17,910 --> 00:05:19,991 Let's take your talents upstate. 140 00:05:20,015 --> 00:05:22,027 Albany and Binghamton, to be more precise, but... 141 00:05:22,051 --> 00:05:25,109 - got to start somewhere. - (NADJA GROANS) 142 00:05:25,721 --> 00:05:27,866 FREDDIE: Wow, this place is like a museum. 143 00:05:27,890 --> 00:05:30,198 I-I can't believe this is your house, Guillermo. 144 00:05:30,222 --> 00:05:31,644 Well, it's actually not my house. 145 00:05:31,668 --> 00:05:33,253 I just help take care of Nandor. 146 00:05:33,277 --> 00:05:35,966 How'd you never mention that? I-I thought you worked at the U. N. 147 00:05:35,990 --> 00:05:37,809 Don't be silly. 148 00:05:37,833 --> 00:05:40,333 Guillermo does not work at the U and N. 149 00:05:40,357 --> 00:05:41,580 (WHISPERING): He forgets a lot of things. 150 00:05:41,604 --> 00:05:44,329 His mind doesn't work the way it used to, so... 151 00:05:44,353 --> 00:05:47,444 - I volunteer on my days off. - Aw, you're so sweet. 152 00:05:47,468 --> 00:05:49,514 - NANDOR: Guillermo. - Hmm. 153 00:05:49,538 --> 00:05:51,957 Why did you not tell me you had a friend coming to visit? 154 00:05:51,981 --> 00:05:53,794 - Friends... - Oh, we're, uh, we're a little bit 155 00:05:53,818 --> 00:05:54,993 more than friends, actually. 156 00:05:55,017 --> 00:05:57,586 Oh, I see. 157 00:05:57,987 --> 00:06:00,699 - Best friends. - GUILLERMO: No, uh... 158 00:06:00,723 --> 00:06:03,275 He's my boyfriend. 159 00:06:03,299 --> 00:06:04,960 Oh. 160 00:06:05,379 --> 00:06:08,464 - Oh, wow. - (FREDDIE CHUCKLES) 161 00:06:08,894 --> 00:06:11,922 And I'm sorry I didn't mention that earlier. 162 00:06:11,946 --> 00:06:13,332 This is fantastic news. 163 00:06:13,356 --> 00:06:14,479 - FREDDIE: Right? - GUILLERMO: Good. 164 00:06:14,503 --> 00:06:15,949 And a long time coming. 165 00:06:15,973 --> 00:06:17,549 - Oh. - He has been very lonely. 166 00:06:17,573 --> 00:06:19,484 - Oh. - Extremely lonely. 167 00:06:19,508 --> 00:06:21,306 - GUILLERMO: Not that lonely. - Pretty lonely. 168 00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:24,015 - Not that lonely. - NANDOR: Very pathetic. Really lonely. 169 00:06:24,039 --> 00:06:26,727 Thank you, Nandor, that is very interesting. 170 00:06:26,751 --> 00:06:29,776 And can I just reiterate that your home is beautiful? 171 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,383 I-I mean, this tapestry, is this Turkish in origin? 172 00:06:32,407 --> 00:06:34,459 - Y-Yes. Yes... - Around the 15th century, this one here? 173 00:06:34,483 --> 00:06:37,257 GUILLERMO: Freddie's actually a junior associate at an auction house in London. 174 00:06:37,281 --> 00:06:38,826 He's kind of an art buff. 175 00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:40,802 - (LAUGHS): No. - Very good eye. 176 00:06:40,826 --> 00:06:44,351 I disemboweled many villagers to get this tapestry. 177 00:06:44,375 --> 00:06:46,618 (WHISPERS): We're thinking of upping his medicine dose 'cause... 178 00:06:46,751 --> 00:06:47,848 (FREDDIE LAUGHS) 179 00:06:47,872 --> 00:06:49,927 I would love to hear more of your stories, Nandor. 180 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,876 I'm just so glad to have a new buddy. 181 00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:54,476 Oh, that's me. 182 00:06:54,735 --> 00:06:56,131 I am the buddy. 183 00:06:56,155 --> 00:06:58,442 This, uh, this place is pretty dusty, though. 184 00:06:58,466 --> 00:07:00,398 I'd tell you to get a Roomba in here, but, uh, 185 00:07:00,422 --> 00:07:01,860 - I think it might kill itself. - (BOTH LAUGH) 186 00:07:01,884 --> 00:07:05,228 - (LAUGHS) - I couldn't resist. 187 00:07:05,252 --> 00:07:08,321 I don't know what any of that means, but I love it. 188 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,269 Okay. Such long teeth. 189 00:07:10,293 --> 00:07:12,537 It's a genetic disorder in the family. 190 00:07:12,561 --> 00:07:15,412 And, uh, if you ever need anyone to help you look after 191 00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:17,174 any of these treasures, 192 00:07:17,198 --> 00:07:19,137 - promise you'll give me a call, eh? - Oh. 193 00:07:19,161 --> 00:07:21,387 So nice to meet you. What a, what a pleasure. 194 00:07:21,411 --> 00:07:22,888 - I'll see you very soon. - Yes. 195 00:07:22,912 --> 00:07:24,242 - All right. - Hopefully. 196 00:07:24,266 --> 00:07:25,717 - Bye-bye. - GUILLERMO: Sorry about that... 197 00:07:25,741 --> 00:07:27,576 - FREDDIE: That's okay. - (DOOR CLOSES) 198 00:07:35,684 --> 00:07:37,119 NANDOR: I cannot sleep. 199 00:07:37,813 --> 00:07:42,119 My mind has been seized by thoughts of a very special person. 200 00:07:42,658 --> 00:07:44,803 A person by the name of... 201 00:07:44,827 --> 00:07:46,642 Freddie. 202 00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:48,599 Ever since he and Guillermo 203 00:07:48,623 --> 00:07:51,097 left for the hotel, Freddie's charm 204 00:07:51,121 --> 00:07:53,702 and sweet, supportive nature 205 00:07:53,726 --> 00:07:55,306 have echoed in my mind. 206 00:07:55,330 --> 00:07:56,881 He touched my arm. 207 00:07:56,905 --> 00:07:59,584 Also, things have grown a little stale 208 00:07:59,608 --> 00:08:02,274 with my beloved Marwa. 209 00:08:02,298 --> 00:08:04,104 Are you, um... 210 00:08:04,128 --> 00:08:06,849 enjoying sitting in that chair? 211 00:08:07,209 --> 00:08:08,512 Yes. 212 00:08:09,372 --> 00:08:10,801 Hmm. 213 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,069 And yours is good? 214 00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:15,925 Yes, uh... 215 00:08:16,570 --> 00:08:18,736 It was a little bit hard, 216 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,620 so I put a cushion on it. 217 00:08:20,644 --> 00:08:22,560 - Wonderful. - Yes. 218 00:08:22,584 --> 00:08:24,815 NANDOR (SIGHS): Fuck, she's boring. 219 00:08:24,839 --> 00:08:26,982 But marriage is sacred to me. 220 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:29,614 I never once cheated on any of my 37 wives, 221 00:08:29,638 --> 00:08:31,674 and I'm not about to start now. 222 00:08:32,104 --> 00:08:35,416 Could I steal Freddie from Guillermo? 223 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:36,723 Of course. 224 00:08:36,747 --> 00:08:38,125 But that would be cruel. 225 00:08:38,149 --> 00:08:41,435 And also, you know, sloppy seconds. 226 00:08:41,459 --> 00:08:42,527 If only... 227 00:08:42,551 --> 00:08:44,520 Excuse me for a moment. 228 00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,948 (QUIETLY): I'm not sure if this is possible, 229 00:08:47,972 --> 00:08:49,935 but I wish for Marwa to be transformed 230 00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:53,631 into an exact copy of 231 00:08:53,655 --> 00:08:55,669 THIS PERSON: Freddie. 232 00:08:55,693 --> 00:08:57,780 Appearance, personality, everything. 233 00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:59,934 - Why are you whispering? - Because Marwa is someone 234 00:08:59,958 --> 00:09:01,046 that I love very much, 235 00:09:01,070 --> 00:09:03,190 and I don't want her to hear that I'm about to change her 236 00:09:03,214 --> 00:09:05,382 into a completely different person. 237 00:09:05,574 --> 00:09:07,610 As you wish. 238 00:09:11,341 --> 00:09:13,148 Marwa? 239 00:09:14,617 --> 00:09:15,927 (DOOR CREAKS) 240 00:09:17,207 --> 00:09:18,429 Hello. 241 00:09:18,911 --> 00:09:20,799 Hi, there. I'm Freddie. 242 00:09:20,823 --> 00:09:22,802 - Nice to meet you. - Hi. 243 00:09:22,826 --> 00:09:24,252 Boy, this place is pretty dusty. 244 00:09:24,276 --> 00:09:27,023 I'd tell you to get a Roomba in here, but I think it might kill itself. 245 00:09:27,047 --> 00:09:29,316 - (BOTH LAUGH) - Sorry, I couldn't resist. 246 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,441 Freddie. 247 00:09:34,986 --> 00:09:36,822 Our star performer's departure 248 00:09:36,846 --> 00:09:39,927 could not come at a worse time for Mistress Nadja. 249 00:09:39,951 --> 00:09:41,973 I'm actually a little worried about her. 250 00:09:41,997 --> 00:09:44,454 There's so much pressure running a nightclub, 251 00:09:44,478 --> 00:09:46,966 and she's been consuming a massive amount 252 00:09:46,990 --> 00:09:48,278 of liquor blood. 253 00:09:48,302 --> 00:09:49,898 Are you talking shit about me? 254 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:52,212 - No. - Hey, I love you like a sister, baby, 255 00:09:52,236 --> 00:09:54,436 you know it, but even... If you even think 256 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,288 about damaging my brand, 257 00:09:56,312 --> 00:09:58,761 - I will cut you in two! - (GLASS SHATTERING) 258 00:09:59,153 --> 00:10:00,521 Okay! 259 00:10:01,675 --> 00:10:03,565 - COLIN: Lazzo, guess what? - LASZLO: What? 260 00:10:03,589 --> 00:10:06,899 I can't believe I'm on the road, on my own tour bus. 261 00:10:06,923 --> 00:10:09,383 Now, this one maybe isn't as nice as the one 262 00:10:09,407 --> 00:10:11,812 in Cameron Crowe's turn-of-the-century masterpiece 263 00:10:11,836 --> 00:10:13,670 Almost Famous, but it... 264 00:10:13,694 --> 00:10:15,133 We've got to work our way to the top, boy. 265 00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:16,925 We got to strike out on tour. 266 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,578 It's how all the best vampire acts started. 267 00:10:19,602 --> 00:10:21,978 Gloria Estefang. Bloody Holly. 268 00:10:22,002 --> 00:10:24,142 Bat Stevens. Batboy Slim. 269 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,779 Hall & Throats. Tame Impaler. 270 00:10:26,803 --> 00:10:28,671 The Undead Kennedys. 271 00:10:29,684 --> 00:10:31,286 - (MICROPHONE WHINES FAINTLY) - (CLEARS THROAT) 272 00:10:32,073 --> 00:10:35,271 NADJA: Freshly drained blood of a drunk human celebrity. 273 00:10:35,295 --> 00:10:38,091 Just a little something to keep Mama sharp. 274 00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:40,928 Rest in peace, Sofia Copp-Coppola. 275 00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:44,874 Let us get on with it. Bring on the first little freak! 276 00:10:44,898 --> 00:10:47,392 GUIDE: Well, first we have Jack Metcalf. 277 00:10:47,416 --> 00:10:49,778 He is repped by Christie Marx Management. 278 00:10:49,802 --> 00:10:51,990 He is four feet and two inches high. 279 00:10:52,014 --> 00:10:53,182 (WHOOPS) 280 00:10:53,941 --> 00:10:56,427 ♪ Let me call you sweetheart... ♪ 281 00:10:57,137 --> 00:10:59,524 Flat! Flat! 282 00:10:59,548 --> 00:11:01,433 You don't have the range, babe. 283 00:11:01,457 --> 00:11:03,422 Get off my stage. Next! 284 00:11:03,594 --> 00:11:07,154 GUIDE: Peter Doskin, repped by Grandpa and Grandma. 285 00:11:07,178 --> 00:11:08,531 Chrysanthemum. 286 00:11:08,555 --> 00:11:11,018 C-H-R-Y-S-A... 287 00:11:11,042 --> 00:11:13,316 Why are you not stuffed in a locker somewhere? 288 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:16,778 Your bullies are not doing a good enough job. 289 00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:17,802 Next! 290 00:11:18,099 --> 00:11:20,610 ♪ Meet me in dream land ♪ 291 00:11:20,634 --> 00:11:23,264 ♪ Sweet dreamy dream land ♪ 292 00:11:23,288 --> 00:11:26,483 ♪ There let my dreams come true. ♪ 293 00:11:26,507 --> 00:11:28,580 (LIGHT APPLAUSE) 294 00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,824 Right, well, that's enough, you freeloading deadbeats. 295 00:11:30,848 --> 00:11:33,151 If you want to watch, then you've got to pay. Come on. 296 00:11:34,056 --> 00:11:35,691 (PIANO PLAYING) 297 00:11:36,684 --> 00:11:38,086 Ugh. 298 00:11:38,894 --> 00:11:42,168 No, no, no. 299 00:11:42,798 --> 00:11:43,942 No. 300 00:11:43,966 --> 00:11:46,978 (GRUNTS) Okay. I'm coming. Stop it. 301 00:11:47,002 --> 00:11:49,811 Okay, stop tapping. Watch and learn, bitch. 302 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:51,762 ♪ There's a large bird ♪ 303 00:11:51,786 --> 00:11:53,584 ♪ Stealing all my brothers... ♪ 304 00:11:53,608 --> 00:11:55,613 (GASPS) 305 00:11:55,637 --> 00:11:56,816 GUIDE: Auditions are over. 306 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,208 NADJA: No, it's going well. That was the finale. 307 00:11:59,232 --> 00:12:01,949 Ta-da! 308 00:12:04,073 --> 00:12:07,509 - Thinks are goig really, really well... - With Freddie. 309 00:12:07,533 --> 00:12:09,000 - Thank you. Thank you so much. - (SPANISH SONG PLAYING) 310 00:12:09,024 --> 00:12:11,860 GUILLERMO: Aw. 311 00:12:12,593 --> 00:12:14,832 I even let him make a list of all the things 312 00:12:14,856 --> 00:12:16,665 he's always wanted to do in New York City. 313 00:12:18,062 --> 00:12:21,038 NANDOR: I'm having the best time with my Freddie. 314 00:12:21,062 --> 00:12:22,179 ♪ ♪ 315 00:12:23,223 --> 00:12:25,016 NANDOR: He has written a list of things 316 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,963 he would like to do in New York City, 317 00:12:26,987 --> 00:12:29,308 and now we are doing those things. 318 00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:31,522 - Is-is it your turn next? I-I think... - No. 319 00:12:32,569 --> 00:12:34,505 - (CHEERING) - Oh, my God! 320 00:12:34,529 --> 00:12:35,897 (LAUGHING): Wow. 321 00:12:36,248 --> 00:12:37,596 NANDOR: (GRUNTS) Hey! Hey! 322 00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:39,792 (LAUGHS): Oh, wow! 323 00:12:40,175 --> 00:12:41,466 - Wait, wait. - Oh, okay. All right. 324 00:12:41,490 --> 00:12:43,468 - Come around. - (LAUGHS) 325 00:12:43,492 --> 00:12:45,904 (LAUGHTER, INDISTINCT CHATTER) 326 00:12:45,928 --> 00:12:47,906 ♪ ♪ 327 00:12:47,930 --> 00:12:49,031 (LAUGHS) 328 00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:52,034 GUILLERMO: So, this weekend has made me realize that I... 329 00:12:52,491 --> 00:12:54,681 - really need a life outside of work. - (LAUGHS): Yeah. 330 00:12:54,705 --> 00:12:56,481 I felt like I literally kept seeing Nandor everywhere... 331 00:12:56,505 --> 00:12:58,711 Which is ridiculous... 332 00:12:58,735 --> 00:13:01,699 Because that's how much space he occupies in my mind. 333 00:13:01,723 --> 00:13:03,217 - Anyways, we're talking about Nandor. - No. 334 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:04,807 - Let's go get some cheesecake. - Okay. 335 00:13:04,831 --> 00:13:06,600 - (LAUGHTER) - Hello. 336 00:13:06,624 --> 00:13:08,817 NADJA: Well, last night's auditions were a mess. 337 00:13:08,841 --> 00:13:10,037 And then I realized, 338 00:13:10,061 --> 00:13:12,991 why am I even trying to find another child performer? 339 00:13:13,015 --> 00:13:14,589 Fuck them kids. 340 00:13:14,613 --> 00:13:18,718 This is a scary, sexy nightclub for adults. 341 00:13:18,742 --> 00:13:23,383 So I decided to call Le Cirque Érotique. 342 00:13:24,211 --> 00:13:28,101 GUIDE: Le Cirque Érotique is a legendary consortium 343 00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:30,795 of sophisticated and deeply carnal 344 00:13:30,819 --> 00:13:32,951 vampire circus performers. 345 00:13:32,975 --> 00:13:35,374 Some of the most thrilling, obscene spectacles 346 00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,434 known to vampires. 347 00:13:37,458 --> 00:13:39,225 NADJA: They're famously tough to book. 348 00:13:39,249 --> 00:13:41,066 GUIDE: But they are coming here 349 00:13:41,090 --> 00:13:44,279 to perform tonight! (LAUGHS) 350 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:45,893 LASZLO: Lamar? 351 00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:48,279 Yeah, I'm just checking in. This place is amazing. 352 00:13:48,303 --> 00:13:51,613 It has ice on demand, 24 hours a day. 353 00:13:51,637 --> 00:13:52,765 And it's gratis. 354 00:13:52,789 --> 00:13:54,874 I've got to go, 'cause it's showtime. 355 00:13:54,898 --> 00:13:56,792 Why isn't that boy doing his scales? 356 00:13:56,816 --> 00:13:58,477 Why aren't you doing your scales, boy... 357 00:13:58,501 --> 00:14:01,647 - (VOICE CRACKING): Hey. Time to hit the road. - Shit. 358 00:14:01,671 --> 00:14:04,626 This little star's ready to shake his moneymaker. 359 00:14:06,195 --> 00:14:07,697 Is something wrong? 360 00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,970 Do you feel there's something wrong? 361 00:14:09,994 --> 00:14:11,189 (VOICE CRACKING): No. 362 00:14:11,213 --> 00:14:13,070 How far is it to the venue? 363 00:14:13,094 --> 00:14:14,664 - To the what? - COLIN: Venue. 364 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:15,972 Um... 365 00:14:16,386 --> 00:14:17,766 Not far. 366 00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,145 (WHISPERS): The fuck? 367 00:14:19,169 --> 00:14:21,417 Right, now, that was a bit of a shock. 368 00:14:21,441 --> 00:14:24,362 He appears to have hit puberty overnight. 369 00:14:24,386 --> 00:14:27,431 The worst thing is, I don't think he realizes it. 370 00:14:27,712 --> 00:14:29,633 - (MICROPHONE WHINES QUIETLY) - HOST: All right. 371 00:14:29,657 --> 00:14:31,671 All the way up from Staten Island, 372 00:14:31,695 --> 00:14:33,814 let's give a warm, Binghamton welcome 373 00:14:33,838 --> 00:14:36,574 to the most talented little boy in the world, 374 00:14:36,598 --> 00:14:39,064 - Baby Colin. - (APPLAUSE) 375 00:14:39,088 --> 00:14:40,820 Hi, Binghamton. 376 00:14:43,481 --> 00:14:46,024 (VOICE CRACKING): ♪ If you want to ring the bell not once, but twice... ♪ 377 00:14:46,048 --> 00:14:48,248 MAN: He's just a kid. 378 00:14:48,272 --> 00:14:51,366 ♪ If you want to roll and roll those lucky dice... ♪ 379 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,207 Come on, let's get a big clap going. 380 00:14:53,231 --> 00:14:55,100 - (RISING CHATTER) - (SCATTERED CLAPPING) 381 00:14:55,602 --> 00:14:57,898 ♪ If you want to spend your journey's end ♪ 382 00:14:57,922 --> 00:15:00,261 ♪ With sweet music and love... ♪ 383 00:15:00,862 --> 00:15:02,364 WOMAN: That's not Baby Colin. 384 00:15:02,388 --> 00:15:03,915 - It is... Yeah, it is. - WOMAN: Fuck... fuck off. 385 00:15:03,939 --> 00:15:05,703 I don't think it's him. 386 00:15:05,727 --> 00:15:07,603 - MAN: Get off the stage! - Everyone hates me! 387 00:15:07,627 --> 00:15:09,180 (AUDIENCE HISSING) 388 00:15:09,204 --> 00:15:12,474 - Go eat shit. - Be back soon. 389 00:15:13,471 --> 00:15:14,935 GUIDE: Oh, that's fun. 390 00:15:14,959 --> 00:15:16,862 NADJA: Come on, the circus troupe is loading in soon. 391 00:15:16,886 --> 00:15:18,731 - GUSTAVE: Hello? - Ah. 392 00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:20,718 Gustave LeRoy of Le Cirque Érotique. 393 00:15:20,742 --> 00:15:22,648 Hello, I am Nadja. Welcome. 394 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,308 And the rest of your troupe are, um... 395 00:15:24,332 --> 00:15:26,344 Oh, I thought they told you. 396 00:15:26,368 --> 00:15:27,612 It's just gonna be me tonight. 397 00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:30,156 Yeah, nobody else was available, but lucky for you, 398 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,849 I'm very free. Oh. 399 00:15:31,873 --> 00:15:34,244 I'd like to have you put those up around the club, please. 400 00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:35,453 NADJA: Just you? 401 00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:38,389 "The clown who can suck himself off." 402 00:15:38,413 --> 00:15:40,338 I put a little comedy into it as well. 403 00:15:40,362 --> 00:15:42,026 Now, where is a good place for me to, uh, 404 00:15:42,050 --> 00:15:43,594 start my stretches? 405 00:15:43,618 --> 00:15:44,996 GUILLERMO: Hello? 406 00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:46,597 I just need to get some insoles for my feet. 407 00:15:46,621 --> 00:15:48,824 - They're killing me. - (DISTANT LAUGHTER) 408 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,337 - NANDOR: the left nipple. - (FREDDIE CLONE LAUGHS) 409 00:15:53,361 --> 00:15:55,339 Hey, look who it is. 410 00:15:55,363 --> 00:15:57,642 Freddie, what are you... How? 411 00:15:57,666 --> 00:16:00,008 - Welcome. - You were just in the car with me. 412 00:16:00,032 --> 00:16:02,780 Don't be silly. This is not your Freddie. 413 00:16:02,804 --> 00:16:06,374 - This is my own Freddie. - All right, bruv. 414 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,259 What the hell? 415 00:16:08,283 --> 00:16:10,519 I asked the djinn to turn Marwa into a carbon copy 416 00:16:10,543 --> 00:16:12,313 of your Freddie. 417 00:16:12,337 --> 00:16:14,440 - What is wrong with you? - Don't be upset about it. 418 00:16:14,464 --> 00:16:17,024 - You should be flattered. - Put him back... 419 00:16:17,048 --> 00:16:18,295 Gigi, what's taking you so long? We need to go. 420 00:16:18,319 --> 00:16:20,742 No, um... Freddie, you should probably wait in the car, because... 421 00:16:20,766 --> 00:16:22,334 Um... 422 00:16:25,099 --> 00:16:27,902 (BOTH SCREAMING) 423 00:16:35,866 --> 00:16:38,349 Please give a warm welcome to your entertainment 424 00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:41,519 for the evening, Mr. Gustave LeRoy, huh? 425 00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:44,446 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 426 00:16:45,413 --> 00:16:46,991 (WHOOPING) 427 00:16:47,015 --> 00:16:48,493 GUIDE: Ah, yeah! 428 00:16:48,517 --> 00:16:50,595 (WHISTLING, GASPING) 429 00:16:50,619 --> 00:16:52,554 Yeah! 430 00:16:54,356 --> 00:16:55,733 (LAUGHTER) 431 00:16:55,757 --> 00:16:57,335 WOMAN: Yeah, let's see it. 432 00:16:57,359 --> 00:16:59,961 (CHEERING) 433 00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:03,040 Yes! 434 00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,575 MAN: He's really going for it. 435 00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:05,977 He's going for a full suck! 436 00:17:06,001 --> 00:17:07,378 Hey, Sofia, so it turns out 437 00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:10,188 it's just some guy sucking his own dick. 438 00:17:10,212 --> 00:17:12,450 Anyway, very funny the way you guys disappeared 439 00:17:12,474 --> 00:17:15,586 the other night after the bloody magic trick, 440 00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:17,789 which I'm still trying to figure out. 441 00:17:17,813 --> 00:17:20,758 But enough is enough. Come on, call me back. 442 00:17:20,782 --> 00:17:22,660 (WHOOPING) 443 00:17:22,684 --> 00:17:24,028 - Really? - WOMAN: That's it? 444 00:17:24,052 --> 00:17:25,897 - MAN: That's it? - That was, like, 20 seconds. 445 00:17:25,921 --> 00:17:27,465 Ladies and gentlemen, 446 00:17:27,489 --> 00:17:29,939 it was a pleasure for me 447 00:17:29,963 --> 00:17:32,398 - to suck myself off for you. - (AUDIENCE BOOING) 448 00:17:33,962 --> 00:17:35,673 - What the fuck was that? - Wasn't that amazing? 449 00:17:35,697 --> 00:17:37,041 I've never lasted that long. 450 00:17:37,065 --> 00:17:38,976 This was supposed to be a whole evening of sucking. 451 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,344 You're useless. 452 00:17:40,368 --> 00:17:41,779 (WHOOPS) Okay, to, um, 453 00:17:41,803 --> 00:17:44,191 keep the fun going and liven you guys up, 454 00:17:44,215 --> 00:17:47,785 we're gonna release the blood sprinklers. 455 00:17:47,809 --> 00:17:49,578 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 456 00:17:50,994 --> 00:17:53,287 Get ready for loads of blood. 457 00:17:53,725 --> 00:17:56,415 - GUIDE: Oh, yeah! - Spill the blood for the vampires. 458 00:17:56,439 --> 00:17:59,397 NADJA: We love blood so much. (WHOOPS) 459 00:17:59,421 --> 00:18:02,467 Blood sprinklers. Can we get the blood sprinklers on? 460 00:18:02,491 --> 00:18:04,626 Let's get them on. 461 00:18:06,361 --> 00:18:07,672 - (PATRONS GASPING) - WOMAN: Billy! 462 00:18:07,696 --> 00:18:08,797 Uh... 463 00:18:09,468 --> 00:18:11,589 - Um... Okay... - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 464 00:18:11,613 --> 00:18:13,950 - NADJA: Son of a bitch! - WOMAN: Peace out, I'm done. 465 00:18:13,974 --> 00:18:16,013 Hang on. No, no, no, don't go, 'cause I'm going to perform. 466 00:18:16,037 --> 00:18:18,382 ♪ There's a large bird ♪ 467 00:18:18,406 --> 00:18:20,172 ♪ Stealing my brothers... ♪ 468 00:18:20,196 --> 00:18:22,386 Come on, guys. Let's get a big clap going. 469 00:18:22,410 --> 00:18:24,355 (WHOOPS) 470 00:18:24,379 --> 00:18:26,724 ♪ And I realized that the egg was me... ♪ 471 00:18:26,748 --> 00:18:29,393 - (SHOUTS) - GUIDE: Oh, no. 472 00:18:29,417 --> 00:18:31,462 NANDOR: In three, two, one, go! 473 00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:34,465 - Okay, um, uh, the Panama Canal. - Got it. 474 00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:36,400 - Uh, oh, uh, pizza chef. - Yep. 475 00:18:36,424 --> 00:18:38,174 - Uh, Barbie doll. - Yep. Yep. 476 00:18:38,198 --> 00:18:41,038 - Uh, Alaska. - NANDOR: So, I did a little hypnosis 477 00:18:41,062 --> 00:18:42,807 on the two Freddies. 478 00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:45,088 Basically, I told them not to make such a big a deal 479 00:18:45,112 --> 00:18:46,644 out of the whole cloning thing. 480 00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,502 Uh, Genji monogatari by Murasaki Shikibu. 481 00:18:48,526 --> 00:18:49,579 Hai! 482 00:18:49,603 --> 00:18:51,382 Oh, uh, T-The New Adventures of Old Christine. 483 00:18:51,406 --> 00:18:52,850 - Yes. - And that's time. 484 00:18:52,874 --> 00:18:55,753 - BOTH: Yes! Come on, Freddie. - NANDOR: Oh. 485 00:18:55,777 --> 00:18:58,909 - (BOTH FREDDIES LAUGH) - Very impressive, you two. 486 00:18:58,933 --> 00:19:01,094 Very, um, in sync. 487 00:19:01,118 --> 00:19:02,802 - (LAUGHTER) - NANDOR: Hmm? 488 00:19:02,826 --> 00:19:03,988 - Hmm? - Very good. 489 00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:05,329 Now they're getting on great, 490 00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,723 so the situation is totally fine. 491 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:09,405 Fun little evening we're having, wouldn't you say? 492 00:19:09,429 --> 00:19:10,765 No, I wouldn't say. 493 00:19:10,789 --> 00:19:12,613 Couldn't just let me have one thing of my own? 494 00:19:12,637 --> 00:19:15,136 I did. You have your thing and I have mine. 495 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,407 Oh, so you took your wife, 496 00:19:16,431 --> 00:19:17,909 who you transformed into the perfect woman, 497 00:19:17,933 --> 00:19:20,460 and then turned her into a carbon copy of my boyfriend? 498 00:19:20,484 --> 00:19:22,313 Doesn't that register with you as being messed up? 499 00:19:22,337 --> 00:19:23,981 Stop saying things that I have done. 500 00:19:24,005 --> 00:19:26,179 This is my last night with Freddie. 501 00:19:26,203 --> 00:19:27,785 Okay, this might seem like a huge game to you, but it's not 502 00:19:27,809 --> 00:19:29,887 - to me, I really care about him. - I know, I just... 503 00:19:29,911 --> 00:19:33,454 Do you understand that I've never, in my whole life, 504 00:19:33,478 --> 00:19:36,734 ever, had a long-term boyfriend? Not once. 505 00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,620 And you find a way 506 00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:39,997 to make it about yourself. 507 00:19:40,021 --> 00:19:41,332 So thanks. 508 00:19:41,356 --> 00:19:42,733 Uh, wait... I... 509 00:19:42,757 --> 00:19:44,469 - Freddie? We're leaving. - Yes? 510 00:19:44,493 --> 00:19:45,896 - Oh, uh... - FREDDIE: Oh, uh... 511 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,338 NANDOR: That's, uh... 512 00:19:47,362 --> 00:19:49,660 That's actually... 513 00:19:51,032 --> 00:19:52,660 my Freddie. 514 00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:56,305 Freddie, we're leaving. 515 00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:58,266 Oh, uh, awesome to meet you, Freddie. 516 00:19:58,290 --> 00:19:59,659 Awesome to meet you, too, Freddie. 517 00:19:59,683 --> 00:20:01,585 GUILLERMO: Freddie, don't talk to Freddie. 518 00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,409 Well, 519 00:20:09,433 --> 00:20:10,852 Freddie had to go back to England... 520 00:20:11,402 --> 00:20:12,504 Bye. 521 00:20:12,528 --> 00:20:13,643 I love you. 522 00:20:13,667 --> 00:20:16,334 Meaning I'm back to my normal life, 523 00:20:16,358 --> 00:20:19,096 being a familiar for Nandor 524 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:24,446 and his exact clone of my boyfriend. 525 00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:26,543 At least we can stay in touch through the Internet. 526 00:20:26,567 --> 00:20:27,678 - FREDDIE (OVER DEVICE): How's it going? - Are you having beans 527 00:20:27,702 --> 00:20:29,714 - for dinner again? - Oh, yeah. Yeah. 528 00:20:29,738 --> 00:20:31,282 - You're such a little bean freak, babe. - Guilty as charged. 529 00:20:31,306 --> 00:20:32,946 FREDDIE CLONE: Is that who I think it is? 530 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,901 Oh, how's it going, Fredmeister? 531 00:20:34,925 --> 00:20:37,509 - Yeah, not too bad, Fredmeister. - Ooh, did you get a chance 532 00:20:37,533 --> 00:20:38,800 - to read the deep dive... - Uh... 533 00:20:38,824 --> 00:20:40,458 on the Palatine Hill in this month's Rosetta Journal? 534 00:20:40,482 --> 00:20:43,294 Oh, let me have a think. Hmm, how about yes? 535 00:20:43,318 --> 00:20:46,053 That's section on early medieval earthenware they just excavated? 536 00:20:46,077 --> 00:20:47,578 Bombshell, am I right? 537 00:20:47,602 --> 00:20:48,866 I had to put the journal down and take a walk 538 00:20:48,890 --> 00:20:50,476 - around the block. - Me, too, I just had to put 539 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:52,336 the journal down and take a walk around the block. 540 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:54,463 - Honestly. - Me, too! I had to put... 541 00:20:55,063 --> 00:20:57,275 I'm sorry, can we can cut? 542 00:20:57,299 --> 00:20:59,673 LASZLO: You can't cancel our dates, you bastard. 543 00:20:59,697 --> 00:21:01,070 We've got a contract. 544 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,453 - Don't fuck me. - Why is this happening to me? 545 00:21:03,477 --> 00:21:05,415 - I'm repulsive. - Good grief! 546 00:21:05,439 --> 00:21:07,318 Whatever is that foul odor? 547 00:21:07,342 --> 00:21:09,020 It's me. And Laszlo, guess what? 548 00:21:09,044 --> 00:21:10,855 - What? - I hate you. You're ruining my life! 549 00:21:10,879 --> 00:21:12,723 Come on, boy, don't be like that. 550 00:21:12,747 --> 00:21:15,827 I can sort this out. Yeah? I'll get you on stage tonight. 551 00:21:15,851 --> 00:21:19,330 No! I'm not singing any more of those baby songs. 552 00:21:19,354 --> 00:21:20,765 - And guess what? - What? 553 00:21:20,789 --> 00:21:22,867 From here on out, I'll only consider performing 554 00:21:22,891 --> 00:21:26,370 if it's the music of Papa Roach or Evanescence. 555 00:21:26,394 --> 00:21:27,505 (NU METAL PLAYING) 556 00:21:27,529 --> 00:21:29,598 - Fuck off! - LASZLO: Shut your mouth. 557 00:21:30,899 --> 00:21:32,577 ♪ ♪ 558 00:21:32,601 --> 00:21:34,312 I am beginning to think that maybe 559 00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:37,482 what I did was wrong. 560 00:21:37,506 --> 00:21:41,452 Probably not, but maybe. 561 00:21:41,476 --> 00:21:44,989 I set out to make things right with Guillermo. 562 00:21:45,013 --> 00:21:48,326 I offered to give him my Freddie, 563 00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:49,761 as a token of apology 564 00:21:49,785 --> 00:21:51,996 and also so that they could have sex with each other. 565 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:54,465 No. It's not the same. 566 00:21:54,489 --> 00:21:57,559 - It's pretty similar. - But it's not. 567 00:21:58,493 --> 00:22:00,338 NANDOR: That's when I knew I had to let 568 00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:01,439 my Freddie go. 569 00:22:01,463 --> 00:22:02,740 Which also meant 570 00:22:02,764 --> 00:22:05,810 letting my wife Marwa go. 571 00:22:05,834 --> 00:22:08,346 But I did leave her in Freddie form, 572 00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:10,615 'cause she seemed so much happier like that. 573 00:22:10,639 --> 00:22:13,017 Perhaps true love is about more than 574 00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:15,953 wishing for someone who likes all the things you like. 575 00:22:15,977 --> 00:22:17,455 My sweet Freddie. 576 00:22:17,479 --> 00:22:19,290 My Freddie always told me that his dream 577 00:22:19,314 --> 00:22:20,591 was to travel the world, 578 00:22:20,615 --> 00:22:24,328 explore his passion for art and history. 579 00:22:24,352 --> 00:22:25,830 Don't forget to buy that Roomba. 580 00:22:25,854 --> 00:22:27,031 (CRYING): I won't. 581 00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:28,733 I suppose I am the one 582 00:22:28,757 --> 00:22:30,826 who is now granting a wish. 583 00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,338 Fucking sucks. 584 00:22:34,362 --> 00:22:35,706 (SNIFFLES) 585 00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:37,708 NADJA: It is clear to me now 586 00:22:37,732 --> 00:22:39,977 that without Baby Colin as its main attraction, 587 00:22:40,001 --> 00:22:41,446 this club cannot survive. 588 00:22:41,470 --> 00:22:44,715 This place was the center of the vampire universe. 589 00:22:44,739 --> 00:22:47,752 But now it is just a big, empty piece of shit. 590 00:22:47,776 --> 00:22:49,854 And despite my hopes of a comeback, 591 00:22:49,878 --> 00:22:52,490 it is clear that our best days are behind us. 592 00:22:52,514 --> 00:22:54,292 - My darling? - (GASPS) Laszlo! 593 00:22:54,316 --> 00:22:55,827 I've thought of a way of saving the club. 594 00:22:55,851 --> 00:22:57,295 Ah. How? 595 00:22:57,319 --> 00:22:58,863 I've heard about this amazing clown 596 00:22:58,887 --> 00:23:00,956 that can suck himself dry. 597 00:23:02,757 --> 00:23:04,335 (MOANS) Who is this young ruffian? 598 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:06,003 You remember Baby Colin? 599 00:23:06,027 --> 00:23:07,596 Well, he's had a growth spurt. 600 00:23:08,530 --> 00:23:10,007 - Hey. - (GASPS) 601 00:23:10,031 --> 00:23:11,709 Can we go? 602 00:23:11,733 --> 00:23:13,444 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Bye. 603 00:23:13,468 --> 00:23:15,980 GUILLERMO: Cheers from jolly old England. 604 00:23:16,004 --> 00:23:18,850 I decided to go surprise Freddie, 605 00:23:18,874 --> 00:23:21,285 because why not, right? You only live once. 606 00:23:21,309 --> 00:23:23,588 And I have all that money saved that I... 607 00:23:23,612 --> 00:23:25,590 whatever, I stole from the club. 608 00:23:25,614 --> 00:23:27,592 He has no idea that I'm here, so... 609 00:23:27,616 --> 00:23:29,861 - (DISTANT LAUGHTER) - Oh. Is that him? 610 00:23:29,885 --> 00:23:31,729 Over there, right with... 611 00:23:31,753 --> 00:23:34,365 - I love you, Freddie. - I love you, too, Freddie. 612 00:23:34,389 --> 00:23:36,734 - Fancy a pint of bitter? - Why not? 613 00:23:36,758 --> 00:23:38,970 ("LAYLA" BY DEREK & THE DOMINOS PLAYING) 614 00:23:38,994 --> 00:23:40,996 ♪ ♪ 615 00:23:52,307 --> 00:23:53,584 Impaler Swift. 616 00:23:53,608 --> 00:23:55,987 Bruno Scars. Lindsey Suckingham. 617 00:23:56,011 --> 00:23:58,589 And that's not even mentioning the wraith acts. 618 00:23:58,613 --> 00:24:01,859 Bonnie Wraith. Wraith Hill. Wraith Evans. 619 00:24:01,883 --> 00:24:03,027 Billy Wraith Cyrus. 620 00:24:03,051 --> 00:24:04,996 Wraith No More. 621 00:24:05,020 --> 00:24:07,298 Wraith Charles. 622 00:24:07,322 --> 00:24:09,600 I could go on. 623 00:24:09,624 --> 00:24:11,693 ♪ ♪ 624 00:24:40,622 --> 00:24:42,691 ♪ ♪ 625 00:24:51,900 --> 00:24:54,302 - Synced & corrected by L0tech - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 46380

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