All language subtitles for The.Villains.of.Valley.View.S01E06.WEBRip.x264-ION100

Mom, can you sign this?

Turns out you can't be late
in school 32 days in a row.

Amy, when did you start
going to school?

Good morning, everybody.

Is that Colby?

I thought he was stuck
as a towel.

He was. Then this morning,

he randomly shape shifted
into that.

I'm a sledgehammer.

And you're bragging about it?

We need you to turn
into something cool.

You're like the cottage cheese
of shape shifting.

Oh, what's in the bag?

Oh, just some stuff
I'm throwing away.

I'm trying to declutter my life
of unnecessary things.

Oh, me, too.
And yet you're still here.

Hey, have you
if you notice

Jake's been acting weird
the past couple of days?

We're no weirder than usual.

I mean who am I to say?
My son's a sledgehammer.

STARLING: I know who you are.

-I'll take it from here.

I always sift through you trash
to make sure

everything's properly recycled.

Oh, by the way,

can you tell your mom
the mirror that she clipped off

the neighbor's car
isn't biodegradable?

Another one?

I really got to start
hiding her keys.

Hartley, I really appreciate it

but I can divide my own trash.

No, really, I don't mind.

No. Seriously, I--I've got it.

Let go off the bag, Jake.

You let go of the bag, Hartley.

A-ha! I knew it.

Paper!

Wait, what are you doing
with Starling's autograph?

And how does she know
who you are?

-She knows who you are?
-Shhh.

As in she knows you're Chaos,
the Supervillain?

Apparently.

But let's focus
on what's really important here.

Should we be separating
Dad's uranium

from the plastic bottles?

I'm so confused.

If Starling knows
who you really are,

why didn't she lock you up
at ColossalCon?

Oh, beats me.

But it wouldn't be
the first time she's let me go.

What are you talking about?

There was this battle
and when Green Talon

knocked me off
the side of a building,

I couldn't climb back up.

So I begged Starling for help.

-And--
-She saved your life.

-Yeah. And--
-And that's why you're trying

-to become a better person.
-Yeah. And--

And you wanted to talk to her
because you knew that she--

Can I please tell my story?

I'm pretty sure that's why
she didn't do

anything at ColossalCon.

She was looking out
for me again.

Yeah.

I don't think
Starling would turn her back

on a bunch of supervillains
living in the suburbs.

And I know who you are
could mean anything.

You're right.
I didn't even think about that.

What if she's rounding up
all the superheroes

to ambush my family?

There's only one way
to find out.

Live each day
in fear of an ambush?

No. You have to find Starling
and ask her.

She always says that anyone
could become a better person.

You have to tell her
she's the reason you changed.

But how am I supposed
to find her?

Her socials say
that she's still in Texas

filming a commercial
for her new sneakers.

-We can go to the set.
-Okay.

Just promise you won't tell
my family about this,

especially Amy.

Whoa! Amy is my BFF.

We don't keep secrets
from each other.

You saw what she did
at ColossalCon.

If Starling is letting us
off the hook,

do you really wanna be
the reason that Amy

goes berserk
and puts us all in danger?

Nope.

Then welcome to the dark side.

Amy, look at you
on the porch

with me and Jake.

It's a porch party!

You're acting weird.

You wear boots to the beach.

I think we're all
a little weird.

I was thinking
we could check out

the new hair salon downtown.

To have them do our hair?

No, to make fun
of everyone else's.

Oh, okay, sure.

Uh, just give me a few hours.

I have something to do first.
It's important.

What could be more important
than shaming women

who spent $300 on a haircut?

Uh, we have to help
Sunshine Club

down at the Senior Center.

Yeah, okay.
You lost me at help.

I'm just saying, Colby,
if you don't have eyes,

I don't think you should get
to pick what we watch.

Good afternoon, everyone.

Celia.

Friendly reminder,
just 'cause you have a key,

it doesn't mean you get to walk
in here whenever you like.

You're right. I'm so sorry.

I should also take my shoes off,

wouldn't wanna scuff
your floors.

Okay, something's up.

Red flag one, she's never nice.

Red flag two,
she never apologizes.

Red flag three,
have you seen those feet?

Hope you don't mind
a bunion or two.

I keep trying to shave
these suckers down

but I'm just a buni gal.

Celia, you're in an awfully
good mood.

Someone die?

No.

I just had lunch
with my gentleman, Finn Roberts.

It was lovely.

We laughed and laughed.

And then we under tipped.

Hey, Celia.

Wow, look at those feet.

Have you seen Hartley?
It's been hours.

She and Jake should have been
back by now.

-I'll text her.

Oh! Robert just sent me

another flirty text message.

"Hello, Celia."

I think we all know
what that means.

-Pretty sure it means--
-Mind your own business.

I mean, see you all later.

Sure you will.

When we least expect it.

Oh, look,
Celia forgot her notebook.

It's her secrets.

But do we think's in here?

Unless she's really clever,

I'm guessing secrets.

Wait, no, no, no!

We shouldn't invade her privacy.

But also, who cares? Let's read.

Um, "I have
the greatest granddaughter.

So full of love and hope."

Snooze. Get to the good stuff.

Um, oh, "But there's something
I've hidden from her,

something I've hidden
from the world.

When I was young,
I robbed a casino

and stashed the cash
in the walls

of my rental house."

Celia robbed a casino?

Celia was young?

Wait, we live
in her rental house,

which means that cash
is stashed somewhere in here.

-We have to find it.
-Of course we do.

But we won't take it off.

We need to leave her some
to get those hobbit feet fixed.

I can't believe
I get to hang out

with Starling twice in a week.

At this point,
we're basically friends.

Hartley, I really don't think
meeting a person twice

-makes you friends.
-I said we're friends.

Okay.

Starling's commercial shoot
is right over there.

But how are we gonna
get past security?

You know I don't like
to lie to people.

Yeah. Well, neither do I,
but I'm going to.

So follow my lead.

Where do you think you're going?

Everyone needs an ID badge.

We're crew members
and we're here to work.

So if you'll look excuse us,
we have a lot to do.

Oh, so you're on the crew.

What do you do?

I...

am the guy who does
the little clap work thing

for the camera. You know,

take one, take two, take three.

I could keep going
if you'd like.

There's a name
for that position.

Wanna tell me what it is?

-Clap guy?
-No.

-Mr. Clappy?
-No.

-Clappy Makes Slappy?
-Get out.

Already gone.

That was crazy.

I've never stuck in
anywhere before.

What a rush.

I think I need to lie down.

Not right now.
We have to find Starling.

And here she is. Hi.

Wow, you again.
Twice in one week.

Yeah. What are the odds?

Hey there.

You're pretty. Can I pet you?

No.

But I can send you
one of my dolls.

Um, we didn't really get
a chance

to talk at ColossalCon,
so I figured that--

Oh, yeah. I get pulled
in so many different directions

at those things.

Interviews, autographs, meeting.

Okay, she is really petting me.

I came to tell you
that because of you,

I've become a better person.

Aw, that makes me so happy.

Really? Oh, good,

because I was worried that
after you saw me at ColossalCon,

you might try
and hurt my family.

Why would I do that?

I'm so sorry, Starling.
They snuck in.

Oh, that's okay, Jackson.
I know him. I saved his life.

Actually, I saved him
and his whole family

from a sinkhole.

Sinkhole?

No, he wasn't in a sinkhole.

You saved him
when he was dangling off the--

Hartley.

Would you excuse us for a bit?

She doesn't know I'm Chaos,

which is a relief
and kind of crazy.

I mean, how could anyone forget
this chiseled jawline?

Well, if she doesn't
know you are,

let's not stay long enough
for her to figure it out.

Hey, I just had the best idea.

As a thank you
for being my fans,

how would you two like
to be in my commercial?

The concept is that my high tops
are villain tested

and you would play
two of the villains.

Oh, we're good, but thank you.

Oh, that's cute,
but I'm Starling

and no one says no to me.

Wardrobe.

Well, at least we don't have
to keep it a secret from Amy

because I'm pretty sure
she's gonna find out

when she sees us on TV.

This is bad.

If my parents see me
in a commercial

with a superhero,
they'll disown me.

And if Amy finds out
I'm here, she'll--

It's her.

She's asking where I am.

Now she's asking
if I'm with you.

Now I'm taking too long
to respond.

-Let's get out of here.
-Here are your badges.

I didn't catch your name,
so I put friend of Starling.

And any friend of Starling
is a friend of mine,

but I'm still watching you,
Clappy Makes Slappy.

Uh, thanks,
but we were just leaving.

Oh, you're not going anywhere.

No one says no to Starling.

Yeah?

Well, there's a first time
for everything.

Starling, Clappy's on the run.

Aw, are you nervous?

Don't be.

I'll teach you
how to act like villains.

I have a lot of experience
from kicking their butts.

I bet you do.

I made this device
to locate Celia's loot.

It's like an X-ray machine
that would double the radiation,

you know, just for fun.

I found it.

There's a box
hidden in this wall.

We're gonna be rich.

Colby, you're so lucky
you can't see this.

Wait.

How are we supposed
to get to it?

COLBY: I may not have eyes,

but I can tell
you're all staring at me.

Son, this is going to hurt us

more than
it's going to hurt you.

Yeah, probably not.

Ow! Ow!

You know you only needed
to break a small section.

I don't do small.

-Ow!

What? There's a box.

Okay.

The money must be inside.

Old letters?

Pictures? What is this junk?

Looks like a time capsule
full of someone's...

-precious mementos.
-Like I said, what is this junk?

Great. All that
and nothing to show for it

but a huge hole in the wall.

You know what that means?

Yep, I'm gonna keep smashing.

Yoo-hoo, neighbors!

Oh, no, Celia.

I brought treats.

All right. Someone clearly
Freaky Fridayed her.

Okay. So the key
to being a villain

is that you're vile, annoying,

and you don't care about anyone
but yourself.

I wouldn't say
all villains are like that.

Yeah, well,
you haven't met Havoc.

Nope, sure haven't,

from what I hear,
she's awful.

I think we're ready
for the stunt.

A stunt?

Yeah, my high tops
are villain tested,

which means they kick
villain butt.

Let's do this.

And action.

High tops activate.

What's happening?
What's activating?

Cut.

That was great.

Now let's kick them
from the front!

Lucky I wore
my new Starling high tops

to the top of this volcano.

Time for one final stop.

No, please don't.

Cut.

Come on, you can do better
than that.

You're hanging from a volcano

and the world's
most powerful superhero's

about to stomp you out.

Let's see that fear.

And action.

No, please, don't let me fall!

More.

No, please, don't let me fall!

I wanna see the most scared
you've ever been.

No, please, don't let me fall!

Help. I can't pull myself up.

Please, don't let me fall.
I'm sorry.

You're not the kid I saved
from the sinkhole.

You're... Chaos!

Please tell me
we're still acting.

How could you invade
my commercial?

I thought you knew who I was.

That is what you wrote
on my autograph.

I thought you were someone else.

You are a superhero.

How do you not know
the difference between...

the people you save
and a villain?

Fake villain.

He's an actor,
just committing to the role.

Look, I told you
my schedule is hectic.

I do six ColossalCons a month

plus talk shows, podcasts,
and the occasional bar mitzvah.

-Seriously?
-I like a good party.

My point is
I can't keep track of everyone.

But now that I know
who you really are,

what the heck
are you doing in Texas?

My family's hiding out
from Onyx.

Wait, are you a supervillain,
too?

No, I'm his neighbor,

but I could be your neighbor.

You just have to tell me
where you live.

Oh, we're not doing that.

Wait, you still haven't told me
why you came to see me.

To tell you that
when you saved my life,

I decided just stop
being a villain

and become a better person.

I'm happy to hear that.

But I can't just let
a family of supervillains

live among innocent civilians.

I'm sorry,
but I have to turn you in.

Hmm. These lemon bars
are great, Celia.

Thanks. I baked them for Robert.

Apparently,
lemons make him frisky.

I'm here to ask,
have you seen my notebook?

I can't find it anywhere.

Uh, no.

Maybe you accidentally
hid it somewhere.

Speaking of which,
where do you like

to hide things?

Because it's clearly
not in there.

Why is there a hole in my wall?

It's your house, you tell us.

I was having such a good day

and I've got to draft
an eviction notice.

Still a good day.

Wait. Uh, the reason
there's a hole is...

we were looking for the money
you hid in the walls,

you know,
after your casino heist.

Casino heist?

Pretending to know nothing.

That's a page out of my book.

We found your journal

and read about your secrets
of your dark past.

That isn't a journal.

It's a novel I wrote
for my creative writing class.

That's where I met Robert.

And if you believe my story,

then it must be good enough
to get published.

Heck, I'm gonna be rich!

Does that mean we don't have
to pay for the wall?

Oh, you're still paying
for that wall.

And the lemon bars.

Starling,
please don't turn them in.

They're my friends.

I'm sorry, but I have no choice.

Look, if you're gonna
turn in anyone, let it be me.

My family doesn't even know
I came here.

Starling, you always said
that anyone

can be a better person.

All he and his family
have ever known

is being supervillains,

but they can learn to change.

Please, give them that chance.

Starling, look out.

You just saved her life.

Uh...

what's going on?

She just paused
the space-time continuum.

That's my favorite power
of yours.

Wow, I guess you really have
become a better person.

Do you know
how much trouble I'll be in

if the superheroes found out
that I knew your family

was hiding here
and didn't do anything about it?

Not as much trouble
as I'll be in

if my family finds out
I'm a better person

because of a superhero.

Well then I guess
we'll both be keeping secrets.

Yeah, I guess so.

I know you'll probably
never tell your sister Havoc

about this, but if you do,

can you please take a video
so I could see her face?

Deal.

You should probably go.

Right.

Could I maybe get your number,

you know,
in case I'm ever tempted

to go bad again,
I could just give you a call?

Yeah, I guess I can do that.

I should probably
take yours, too,

you know, just to make sure

you're staying
on the right path.

While we're at it,
can I get your number too?

Aw, no.

Starling, you okay?

Yeah.

I'm great.

It's very nice of you
to have your friend over

to fix the hole
in the wall, Celia.

It's more for me
than it is for you.

Lemon bar?

My favorite?

Sweet and sour just like you.

Okay. I should be able
to patch this up in no time.

-Easy-peasy.
-Oh, wonderful.

Oh, it's certainly
gonna be great having someone

who works in construction
around here.

I'm working construction?

Oh, what do you do?

Didn't Celia tell you?

I'm the Chief of Police.

Of course you are.

Oh, you must be very busy
catching criminals

that are not in this house.

Not saying that they would be,
because why would they be?

Aren't you two gonna be late
for your creative writing class?

We'll just have to find
our own handyman.

Oh, no, he'll be fixing
all sorts of things around here.

He'll be here all the time.

I might start
breaking things myself

just to keep him around.

Fine by me.

Oh, I brought some sandpaper.

-For the wall?
-Nope, for your feet.

You know what they say,

the way to a woman's heart
is through her bunions.

And buckle up, Bobby,
it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Well, look,
who finally showed up.

Sorry, Amy.
I know we're supposed

-to hang out but--
-Save it.

You two have been acting weird
all day then you disappear

and expect me to not know
what's going on?

I know exactly
what you've been up to.

-You do?
-You do?

Yup.

My birthday is coming up
and you're out

shopping for a gift.

-Busted.
-You got us.

So help me.
If I get a gift card,

there will be blood.