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[G get get h get hap get happy get happy" get happy" pl
get happy" play get happy" playin get happy" playing]
2
00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:10,983
♪ Hello, world, hear the
song that we're singing ♪
3
00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:14,047
♪ come on, get happy ♪
4
00:00:15,648 --> 00:00:19,648
♪ a whole lot of lovin' is
what we'll be bringing ♪
5
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,563
♪ we'll make you happy ♪
6
00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:27,130
♪ we had a dream we'd
go traveling together ♪
7
00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:28,927
♪ we'd spread a little love ♪
8
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,629
♪ and then we'll
keep movin' on ♪
9
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,770
♪ something always happens
whenever we're together ♪
10
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:37,497
♪ we get a happy feeling
when we're singing a song ♪
11
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:41,414
♪ traveling along there's
a song that we're singing ♪
12
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:45,608
♪ come on, get happy ♪
13
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:50,022
♪ a whole lot of lovin' is
what we'll be bringing ♪
14
00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:52,846
♪ we'll make you happy ♪
15
00:00:52,952 --> 00:00:56,962
♪ we'll make you happy ♪
16
00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,827
♪ we'll make you happy ♪
17
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,363
[♪♪♪]
18
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:07,074
Mom, someday can i
sort clothes all by myself?
19
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,897
Sure, when you get old enough.
20
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:10,772
How will i know
when i'm old enough?
21
00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:12,940
When you don't want to do it.
22
00:01:13,039 --> 00:01:15,309
Danny, all i need
is a buck. No way.
23
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,378
You'd just squander
it on cheap thrills.
24
00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:19,407
There's a beautiful
new girl in school
25
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:21,612
and she wants me
to show her the town.
26
00:01:21,714 --> 00:01:22,954
Now, i need a buck!
27
00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:25,049
You're gonna show a
girl the town on a dollar?
28
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:26,751
It's not that big a town.
29
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:30,193
Then i'll give you a nickel.
Buy her a picture postcard.
30
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,990
Danny partridge. Yeah, mom.
31
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,733
This is a brand-new
shirt and there are already
32
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,599
two buttons
missing off the front.
33
00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:39,227
Make him pay for a new one.
34
00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:41,942
It's not my fault. Gloria
hickey tore them off.
35
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:44,535
Who? Gloria hickey.
36
00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:46,937
She's a girl in school
and she hates me.
37
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,140
So she came up and
ripped my buttons off.
38
00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:51,382
Danny, i know gloria hickey.
39
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,678
You must have done
something to her first.
40
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,850
Nothing.
41
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,579
Well, it was an accident.
42
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,494
I was walking along,
43
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:03,416
and suddenly, i discovered i
had a ball of mud in my hand.
44
00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:04,763
And i thought to myself:
45
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,928
"Boy, it sure is dumb for me
to be holding this ball of mud."
46
00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:09,727
So i tossed it away.
47
00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:12,929
And you hit gloria right in
the back of the head with it.
48
00:02:13,032 --> 00:02:15,242
Boy, it was a great
shot. Thanks a lot.
49
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,335
Why did you hit
her with a mud ball?
50
00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:19,007
I can't stand her
and she's a creep.
51
00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:21,305
Danny! I'll get it.
52
00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:22,877
Danny!
53
00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:28,349
Gloria! Hi, danny.
54
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:30,848
Listen, i'm sorry about
hitting you in the head
55
00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:32,150
with the mud ball.
56
00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:33,822
That's okay. It
was a great shot.
57
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:35,720
Did you come over to see me? No.
58
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:38,462
Oh. I came over to see your mom.
59
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:39,988
I'm selling cookies
60
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:42,233
and i thought she
might wanna buy a box.
61
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,198
Well, you're talking
to the right person.
62
00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:45,867
I handle all the finances.
63
00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:47,625
How much are
they? A dollar a box.
64
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:52,744
Nothing to it. i'll just
have to dip into petty cash.
65
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:55,039
[♪♪♪]
66
00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:05,045
Shirley: Danny,
who was at the door?
67
00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:07,951
Uh, it was gloria hickey.
68
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,624
She came over to apologize
69
00:03:09,722 --> 00:03:13,462
for tearing the
buttons off my shirt.
70
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:14,790
Twelve boxes of cookies?
71
00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:17,864
Looks like you came out on
the short end of the apology.
72
00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:20,774
Don't tell anybody
i bought them.
73
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:25,639
Now, see what you
made me do? Me?
74
00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:27,338
Danny, what'd you break now?
75
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,240
Nothing. He dropped his cookies.
76
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:32,454
Where'd you get them?
77
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,305
He bought them
from gloria hickey.
78
00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:37,554
I didn't buy them. I mugged her.
79
00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:41,720
Why would you buy all those
cookies from a girl you can't...?
80
00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:44,191
[♪♪♪]
81
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,460
I don't believe it.
Danny's in love.
82
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,930
I am not in love.
83
00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:52,528
She's ugly, she's got buck teeth
and i never wanna see her again.
84
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:55,202
[♪♪♪]
85
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:57,799
He's in love, all right.
86
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,714
[♪♪♪]
87
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:07,147
[♪♪♪]
88
00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:14,785
[♪♪♪]
89
00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:18,488
Is danny really in love?
90
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:22,201
If he spent $12, he's in love.
91
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:25,565
If she likes danny, she
ought to get a merit badge.
92
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,095
All right, that's enough.
93
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,500
I don't want you
kids teasing him.
94
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:32,042
Having your first crush
on a girl is tough enough
95
00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:33,338
without you making it worse.
96
00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,839
Mom, i've been
waiting years for this.
97
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,042
No. understood?
98
00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:39,353
I'm gonna have a talk with him.
99
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:44,375
Keith, well, what do
11-year-old kids do on a date?
100
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:48,394
I don't know. they can't
neck. Danny doesn't have one.
101
00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:53,659
Wish i'd have said
that. Glad i did.
102
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,430
[♪♪♪]
103
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:06,572
Danny, i want to talk to you.
104
00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:08,943
Danny: About what?
105
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,212
About gloria.
106
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,350
I hate gloria.
107
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:14,475
Then why did you buy
all those cookies from her?
108
00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:17,450
She gave me a good
deal. It was strictly business.
109
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:25,019
Danny, every boy starts
to like girls sooner or later.
110
00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:27,134
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
111
00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:28,926
But it couldn't be love, mom.
112
00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:31,298
Love is beautiful and nice.
113
00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:33,327
You know, you
must've read about it.
114
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,973
A little.
115
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,969
Well, i don't feel any of that.
116
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:42,041
When i see gloria, i get
this strange yearning inside.
117
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,006
What kind of yearning?
118
00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:47,312
I don't wanna talk about it.
119
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:49,623
You'll think I'm some
kind of "prevert."
120
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:55,416
Danny, I promise I won't think
you're some kind of "prevert."
121
00:05:55,521 --> 00:06:00,061
Well, when i see
her, i get this yearning,
122
00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:04,359
this uncontrollable
desire to grab her
123
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:07,504
and run up and
punch her in the arm.
124
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,970
It's not normal.
125
00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:10,468
I've seen lots of movies
126
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:12,670
and not one of them
does the hero run up
127
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,472
and punch the girl in the arm.
128
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:20,845
Danny, it isn't
normal for adults,
129
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,517
but it's very normal
for an 11-year-old boy.
130
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:25,276
It is?
131
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,015
It's a young boy's way
of getting a girl's attention.
132
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,461
You mean i'm
normal? Well, close.
133
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,986
Boy, does that take
a load off my mind.
134
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:35,332
Mom, when i see gloria,
135
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:38,128
i also get another
uncontrollable desire.
136
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,401
Oh?
137
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:42,339
Yeah, to ask her to
the sixth-grade dance.
138
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:47,005
Well, then ask her.
I can't. i'm afraid.
139
00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:48,936
[♪♪♪]
140
00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:50,541
Oh, honey.
141
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:53,682
[Knocking]
142
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,350
Come in.
143
00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:03,718
Laurie, i know i've been
rotten to you in the past.
144
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:05,263
Constantly.
145
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,558
And i hope you
can forget all that,
146
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:10,800
because i'm about
to bare my soul to you.
147
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:12,997
Oh? I'm involved with a woman.
148
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:16,499
A woman? are you
talking about gloria hickey?
149
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:19,742
Now, let's leave
personalities out of it.
150
00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:23,209
I've been studying a lot of
techniques to impress women,
151
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:26,279
and since you're
a woman, sort of,
152
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,179
i thought i might
try them out on you.
153
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,781
Sure. it might be educational.
154
00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:34,193
Okay, method number one.
155
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,919
What are you
doing? Ignoring you.
156
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:40,334
You know, playing
hard to get. Oh.
157
00:07:40,426 --> 00:07:43,456
If you ignore me, how
are you gonna ask me out?
158
00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:46,533
Maybe i ought to try
method two. Why not?
159
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:49,102
Method number two.
Ask me what's on my mind.
160
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,042
Okay, what's on your mind?
161
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,707
I can't tell you. Why?
162
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,975
Because i'm deep, dark and
mysterious. women love it.
163
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:57,375
Wrong. Wrong?
164
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,047
Better try method number three.
165
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,645
I don't have a
method number three.
166
00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:05,276
Danny, if you're trying
to get the girl's attention,
167
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:07,824
you're going about it all wrong.
168
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,520
Look, pretend i'm gloria. Why?
169
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:11,392
Well, talk to me
like you talk to her.
170
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,391
And i'll point out
your mistakes, okay?
171
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,233
Okay, but you have
to turn your back.
172
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,158
I always walk up
on her from behind.
173
00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:18,533
Why do you do that?
174
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:21,931
Because if she sees
me coming, she runs.
175
00:08:22,034 --> 00:08:23,774
Okay.
176
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:25,710
[♪♪♪]
177
00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:32,880
Hi, gloria.
178
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:36,119
Ow! danny, that was
definitely a mistake.
179
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:38,575
I got your attention, didn't i?
180
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,824
[♪♪♪]
181
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,202
Well, danny finally
got up enough nerve
182
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:53,828
to ask gloria to the dance.
183
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:55,843
I hope she's wearing
shoulder pads.
184
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:57,065
Look, when he comes down,
185
00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:59,309
i don't want you
kids teasing him.
186
00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:01,705
He's scared to death
and if you tease him,
187
00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:03,037
he's sure to back out.
188
00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:04,142
[Clears throat]
189
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:06,453
[♪♪♪]
190
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:19,088
Tracy: you look funny.
That does it. i'm not going.
191
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:20,591
Oh, now, wait a minute, danny.
192
00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:22,933
Danny, there's
nothing to be afraid of.
193
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,399
That's easy for you to say.
194
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,197
You've never had
to ask a girl out.
195
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,029
But, danny,
there's nothing to it.
196
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,674
Excuse us. It's
time for man talk.
197
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,540
Come here.
198
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:35,539
Danny, if there's anything
199
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:37,641
you want to know
about handling women,
200
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:40,053
and you want to
get it from a real pro,
201
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,376
you know who to ask.
202
00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:45,791
Yeah, but i already asked
keith. he was no help.
203
00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:48,085
I was talking about myself.
204
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:49,917
Mr. kincaid,
205
00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:53,062
i know you're trying to make me
feel better by making me laugh.
206
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:55,959
Bless you.
207
00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:57,702
[♪♪♪]
208
00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:01,299
Danny...
209
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,610
Look, danny, it's
easy to ask a girl out,
210
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:08,935
especially for someone
as brave as you.
211
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:14,011
Right. why, dazzle her with
your impish grin and overpower...
212
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,453
Well, don't overpower.
213
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:18,448
Overwhelm her with
your natural charm.
214
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,521
You really think i
have natural charm?
215
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,320
Yeah, we don't talk about
it because we're jealous.
216
00:10:23,422 --> 00:10:25,222
I don't think you have charm.
217
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:26,934
Well, you're jealous.
218
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:28,456
That's the spirit.
219
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,101
Yeah, what's there
to be afraid of?
220
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:32,866
I'll walk right up, look her
straight in the eye and say:
221
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:35,665
"Gloria, i want you to
go to the dance with me."
222
00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:37,138
Good. [Doorbell rings]
223
00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:38,836
I'll get it.
224
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:43,741
Gloria: Hi, danny.
225
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:45,183
I can't do it.
226
00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:47,947
[♪♪♪]
227
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:52,117
Well, so much for natural charm.
Let's go have some ice cream.
228
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:53,848
[Doorbell rings]
229
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:58,592
Hi, mrs. partridge. Hi, gloria.
230
00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:01,761
I'm sorry if danny
acted rather strange.
231
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:03,101
I didn't notice.
232
00:11:03,195 --> 00:11:06,795
Oh. oh, come in.
233
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:10,039
Mrs. partridge, we're having
a sixth-grade dance at school,
234
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:13,106
and the girls can ask the guys
because the guys chicken out
235
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:15,165
and won't ask the
girls, you know?
236
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:16,514
I certainly do.
237
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,709
Gloria, are you here
to ask my brother out?
238
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:21,951
Yeah. do you think he'll
go? Oh, i think he would.
239
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:24,548
In fact, i'm certain of it.
240
00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:27,390
Really? i never dreamed
it would come true.
241
00:11:27,486 --> 00:11:30,616
I have such a crush on
him. Why don't you ask him.
242
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,763
Between us women, he
has a crush on you too.
243
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:36,158
I don't believe it. keith
partridge has a crush on me?
244
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,632
[♪♪♪]
245
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:54,012
Poor danny. What
are we gonna do?
246
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:55,383
I really don't know.
247
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:57,851
I've never been in a
situation like this before.
248
00:11:57,950 --> 00:12:01,590
I was once. I was in
love with rose barker,
249
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:04,357
and she was in love
with captain kangaroo.
250
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:05,727
Captain kangaroo?
251
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,485
Oh, she wasn't in
love with the man.
252
00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:10,203
She was in love with the image.
253
00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:13,928
Hi.
254
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:16,103
[♪♪♪]
255
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:17,872
Why does everybody look so glum?
256
00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:26,409
Keith, i'm afraid you
have a big problem.
257
00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:28,852
Oh, i do? Mm-hm.
258
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:30,718
Little gloria hickey's
in love with you.
259
00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:33,946
Is this a put-on?
Afraid not, brother.
260
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:36,823
She's gonna ask you
to the sixth-grade dance.
261
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:39,630
Poor danny. Does he know?
262
00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:42,495
No, and i don't
want him to know.
263
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,495
It would break his heart.
264
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,328
What am i gonna do?
265
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:56,180
Laurie, mom, mr. kincaid.
266
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,205
Home wrecker!
267
00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:01,210
[♪♪♪]
268
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:04,323
I think he knows.
269
00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:06,816
[♪♪♪]
270
00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:10,524
Did you talk to danny?
271
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,163
I tried to last night. He
just didn't want to talk.
272
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,189
I wish i could help him.
273
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,804
Oh, he'll get over it.
274
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,856
Kids forget those
things pretty fast.
275
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,234
I hope so.
276
00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:23,642
Boy, that does
it. It's not fair.
277
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,766
I mean, i can understand
a guy wanting revenge,
278
00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:27,871
why must the
innocent always suffer?
279
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:30,113
Keith, why are you
walking around with a comb
280
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:31,739
sticking out of your head?
281
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:34,384
Why? i'll tell you why.
It's stuck there for good.
282
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,780
Danny put molasses on it.
283
00:13:36,782 --> 00:13:38,582
Yeah, well, it's not funny.
284
00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:41,794
Not only did he mess with my
head, he short-sheeted my bed.
285
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:43,687
Then, during the
middle of the night,
286
00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:47,489
he poured corn
flakes all over me.
287
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:48,893
I didn't get any sleep at all.
288
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:51,234
I snapped, crackled
and popped all night.
289
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,800
Poor danny. "Poor danny"?
290
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,798
You weren't the one
who got breakfast in bed.
291
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:58,270
Keith, he thinks you
stole his girlfriend.
292
00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:00,540
Right, you're a home wrecker.
293
00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:02,939
I am an innocent home wrecker.
294
00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:04,412
Look, i can't get mad at him
295
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,710
because i understand
the way he must feel,
296
00:14:06,812 --> 00:14:09,352
but that still doesn't get
the comb out of my hair.
297
00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:11,218
All right, i'll go
and talk to him.
298
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:12,447
No.
299
00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:14,191
No, this is between
me and danny.
300
00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:17,816
I think it's about time we
had a man-to-almost-man talk.
301
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,393
[♪♪♪]
302
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,402
[Knocking]
303
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:28,465
Danny, can i talk
to you a minute?
304
00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:33,507
Sure. why not? you won.
You have the right to gloat.
305
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:36,536
I am not here to gloat.
306
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:38,112
Why? i'd gloat if i were you.
307
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:41,050
You have the most beautiful
girl in the whole world
308
00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:42,406
in love with you.
309
00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:44,484
You're mr. lucky
and i'm mr. loser.
310
00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:47,193
Danny, i'm sorry this
whole thing happened.
311
00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:48,916
I can't accept your apology.
312
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:53,691
I'm not apologizing. I have
nothing to apologize for.
313
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:55,592
Sure. it's not your fault
314
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:57,064
you stole my girlfriend from me.
315
00:14:57,162 --> 00:15:00,972
It's not your fault you broke
up a beautiful relationship.
316
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:05,336
It's not your fault i cry
myself to sleep at night.
317
00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:07,867
[♪♪♪]
318
00:15:09,942 --> 00:15:12,582
Okay, yesterday i tried
the mr. nice-guy approach
319
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:14,108
and it didn't work.
320
00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:16,223
But something's gotta
be done. What's wrong?
321
00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:19,645
Last night danny snuck
into my room again. look.
322
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:22,987
"Danny loves gloria"?
323
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:25,618
While i'm dreaming
about native girls in tahiti,
324
00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:26,964
that redheaded hamburger
325
00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:29,129
is printing true
confessions on my chest,
326
00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:30,798
and he did it in indelible ink.
327
00:15:30,896 --> 00:15:33,996
This situation is beginning to
get out of hand. where is danny?
328
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:36,239
He's in the garage.
329
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:48,577
Danny, i wanna talk to you.
330
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,551
It won't do any good, mom.
331
00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:52,019
I just have to reconcile myself
332
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:54,487
to the fact that i'll
be miserable forever,
333
00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:56,486
thanks to keith.
334
00:15:57,923 --> 00:16:00,433
That isn't gonna help at all.
335
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,556
Honey...
336
00:16:04,229 --> 00:16:08,029
As you get older, you'll
find out that most of the time,
337
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:11,273
love doesn't work out
the way you want it to.
338
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:12,500
And it does hurt.
339
00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:15,474
It hurts like fury.
340
00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:18,744
I'm sorry.
341
00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:22,184
But, danny, you can't
honestly blame keith.
342
00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:25,375
I mean, you can't really believe
343
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,494
he's interested
in little gloria.
344
00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:28,916
That makes it all the worse.
345
00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:32,291
To him, she's just
another wild fling.
346
00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:33,831
Oh, danny.
347
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,096
But she doesn't like me, mom.
348
00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:38,625
I have to blame somebody.
349
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,631
[♪♪♪]
350
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,673
[Doorbell rings]
351
00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:48,471
I'll get it. Okay.
352
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,414
[♪♪♪]
353
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,149
Hi, keith. Hi, gloria.
354
00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,919
Uh, just a second.
355
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:01,852
Laurie, it's her. What do i do?
356
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,024
What do you do with
girls in love with you?
357
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:06,993
Laurie, you have a dirty
mind. She's 11 years old.
358
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:09,902
I could tell her you're
not here. Laurie...
359
00:17:09,995 --> 00:17:12,655
All right, there's
only one thing to do.
360
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:13,875
Break the truth to her gently
361
00:17:13,899 --> 00:17:15,829
and build danny
up in the process.
362
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:19,144
She might get the
hint. Good idea.
363
00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:24,979
Come on in, gloria.
364
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:27,847
[♪♪♪]
365
00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:31,076
Gloria, don't you think
Danny's really a great guy?
366
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:35,953
He's icky. i love you, keith,
and i know you love me too.
367
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,585
Laurie and your mom
told me. They did?
368
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:43,026
Uh, excuse me, gloria.
369
00:17:45,464 --> 00:17:47,034
You told her i loved her?
370
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,472
We thought she was
talking about danny.
371
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:52,068
Thanks a lot. Now what do i do?
372
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,341
It's up to you.
373
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:55,169
I make it a point
never to interfere
374
00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:57,114
with other people's love lives.
375
00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:04,418
So she thinks she likes keith.
Does that mean you're giving up?
376
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:07,486
You don't call it giving up
when the game's all over.
377
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:11,216
Well, i never thought
i'd raise a quitter.
378
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:13,863
Who's a quitter? You are.
379
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:17,229
Danny, most things
in life that people want
380
00:18:17,329 --> 00:18:18,829
aren't just handed to them.
381
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,731
If you really want something,
you have to keep trying.
382
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,574
You mean i should
fight for gloria?
383
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:24,769
That's exactly what i mean.
384
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:26,340
I think you're right.
385
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,938
I'm gonna go over to
gloria's house right now
386
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,341
and punch her in the arm.
387
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,912
[♪♪♪]
388
00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:38,353
So i came over to ask you
to go to the sixth-grade dance.
389
00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:44,422
Gloria... miss hickey.
390
00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:47,633
Miss hickey, i'd love to go
to the dance with you but...
391
00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:49,156
You long-haired hamburger,
392
00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:51,201
that's my girlfriend
you're asking out!
393
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,126
Danny, wait a minute.
Leave me alone!
394
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:55,702
Danny, you don't understand.
I understand enough!
395
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,801
What's going on?
396
00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,273
A fight for the
honor of a woman.
397
00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:01,771
We are not fighting for
the honor of a woman.
398
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:04,614
I'm not interested in
her. She's 11 years old.
399
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:07,410
[♪♪♪]
400
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:13,292
Shirley: gloria! Miss hickey!
401
00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:15,785
Now see what you've done?
402
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,688
[♪♪♪]
403
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,395
[Doorbell rings]
404
00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:39,507
Gloria, come on in.
405
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:41,751
I guess you're
here to see keith.
406
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,817
No, i'm here to see you.
407
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,817
Danny, i have to
talk to you, alone.
408
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:53,055
We are alone. Oh, yeah.
409
00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:55,188
Danny, i have a
confession to make.
410
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:58,264
I'm not in love
with keith anymore.
411
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,503
You're not? No.
412
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:04,369
Yesterday you were willing
to fight for me, but he wouldn't.
413
00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:06,639
He couldn't love me.
414
00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:09,738
Well, i knew it all along.
415
00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:13,511
I just wanted to
break it to you gently.
416
00:20:13,612 --> 00:20:16,282
You're so considerate.
That's true.
417
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,281
And, danny? Yeah?
418
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:21,793
Would you take me to
the dance tomorrow night?
419
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,787
[♪♪♪]
420
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:28,755
[Singing "i would have
loved you anyway"]
421
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:30,600
♪ Ooh ♪
422
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:35,266
♪ ooh ♪
423
00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:37,797
♪ you know that I've
been watchin' you ♪
424
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,373
♪ for quite some time ♪
425
00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:45,111
♪ tryin' to find a way
of makin' you mine ♪
426
00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:48,580
♪ long before you started
a-comin' on strong with me ♪
427
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:53,590
♪ with a super charm that
brought me down to see ♪
428
00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:56,455
♪ hey, didn't you know
that you've been actin' ♪
429
00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:58,285
♪ like a movie star ♪
430
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:04,060
♪ and didn't you think I'd
dig the person you are ♪
431
00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:07,602
♪ no, you never really
had to put on all that show ♪
432
00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:13,439
♪ I decided when I met
you a long long time ago ♪
433
00:21:13,538 --> 00:21:17,008
♪ whoa whoa ♪
434
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:20,849
♪ I would have
loved you anyway ♪
435
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:26,116
♪ I would have
thought you were fine ♪
436
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:29,858
♪ I would have
taken you any day ♪
437
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:33,055
♪ I still would try
to make you mine ♪
438
00:21:33,158 --> 00:21:39,328
♪ I would have
loved you anyhow ♪
439
00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:43,341
♪ I would have
thought you were okay ♪
440
00:21:43,435 --> 00:21:47,435
♪ just like I'm lovin'
you here and now ♪
441
00:21:47,539 --> 00:21:51,839
♪ tellin' ya I'll never
go away go away ♪
442
00:21:51,943 --> 00:21:54,383
♪ go away ♪
443
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:06,090
♪ So you never really
had to put on all that show ♪
444
00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:10,831
♪ I decided when I met
you a long, long time ago ♪
445
00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:14,299
♪ whoa whoa ♪
446
00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:19,199
♪ I would have
loved you anyway ♪
447
00:22:19,304 --> 00:22:23,244
♪ I would have
thought you were fine ♪
448
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:27,312
♪ I would have
taken you any day ♪
449
00:22:27,412 --> 00:22:32,322
♪ I still would try
to make you mine ♪
450
00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:36,187
♪ I would have
loved you anyhow ♪
451
00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,458
[Applause]
452
00:22:37,556 --> 00:22:39,456
♪ I would have
thought you were okay ♪
453
00:22:49,568 --> 00:22:52,168
[Girls giggling]
454
00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:00,806
No one wants an autograph
from a home wrecker.
455
00:23:00,912 --> 00:23:04,022
[♪♪♪]
456
00:23:11,623 --> 00:23:12,993
[♪♪♪]
457
00:23:13,091 --> 00:23:15,891
Danny, tell us what you and
gloria hickey did on your date.
458
00:23:15,994 --> 00:23:19,704
No way. i told you, a gentleman
doesn't discuss those things.
459
00:23:19,798 --> 00:23:21,768
Can't you tell us just a little?
460
00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:24,567
Laurie, you're a woman. I
thought you'd understand.
461
00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:26,809
Girls are also curious.
462
00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:28,565
I can't betray my confidence.
463
00:23:28,673 --> 00:23:30,313
Keith: Mm-hm.
can i tell you why he
464
00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:31,939
can't betray his confidence?
465
00:23:32,043 --> 00:23:35,753
Because nothing happened.
That's not true. a lot happened.
466
00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:38,245
Like what?
467
00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:40,690
Well, like when i was
standing on one side
468
00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:42,286
of the gym with the guys
469
00:23:42,387 --> 00:23:45,887
and gloria was standing on
the other side with the girls,
470
00:23:45,991 --> 00:23:48,531
well, she finally came over
and asked me to dance.
471
00:23:48,627 --> 00:23:50,827
Why didn't you ask her to dance?
472
00:23:50,929 --> 00:23:52,959
I was ignoring her.
473
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,326
A woman loves it
when a guy ignores her.
474
00:23:56,435 --> 00:24:00,305
Forget the dance. get to the
good stuff, after the dance.
475
00:24:00,405 --> 00:24:03,305
Well, after the dance,
i walked her home.
476
00:24:03,408 --> 00:24:06,608
It was a beautiful moonlit
night, really romantic,
477
00:24:06,711 --> 00:24:08,251
just like in the movies.
478
00:24:08,346 --> 00:24:11,816
Don't tell me. You
looked deep into her eyes.
479
00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:13,587
Yeah, i did that.
480
00:24:13,685 --> 00:24:17,385
Then you realized
it was true love
481
00:24:17,489 --> 00:24:18,589
and you reached for her,
482
00:24:18,690 --> 00:24:20,530
and then you
punched her in the arm.
483
00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:23,495
Were you following
me? Just a guess.
484
00:24:23,595 --> 00:24:26,865
Well, you left out the best
part. she punched me back.
485
00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:30,595
I swear i'll never wash
this shoulder again.
486
00:24:30,702 --> 00:24:35,672
Why not? Because
i can't lift my arm.
487
00:24:35,774 --> 00:24:38,944
[♪♪♪]
488
00:24:44,883 --> 00:24:47,223
[♪♪♪]
489
00:24:47,273 --> 00:24:51,823
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