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[The partridge family's
"Come on get happy" Playing]
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♪ hello, world, hear the
song that we're singing ♪
3
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:16,723
♪ come on, get happy ♪
4
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:20,947
♪ a whole lot of lovin' is
what we'll be bringing ♪
5
00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:23,594
♪ we'll make you happy ♪
6
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:28,363
♪ we had a dream we'd
go traveling together ♪
7
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,232
♪ we'd spread a little love ♪
8
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,071
♪ and then we'll
keep movin' on ♪
9
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:35,166
♪ something always happens
whenever we're together ♪
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00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:38,769
♪ we get a happy feeling
when we're singing a song ♪
11
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:42,782
♪ traveling along there's
a song that we're singing ♪
12
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:47,146
♪ come on, get happy ♪
13
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:51,248
♪ a whole lot of lovin' is
what we'll be bringing ♪
14
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:54,122
♪ we'll make you happy ♪
15
00:00:54,122 --> 00:00:58,232
♪ we'll make you happy ♪
16
00:00:58,226 --> 00:01:02,096
♪ we'll make you happy ♪
17
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:05,874
[♪♪♪]
18
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:09,066
Mom! Mom!
19
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,499
Mom, I did it. I
did it. Did what?
20
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:14,365
Remember when I told you I
wanted to handle our publicity
21
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:15,575
and you laughed at me?
22
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,806
You wanna handle our publicity?
23
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:20,881
That's the trouble with
this family. I get no respect.
24
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,051
You are a little young
for the job, Danny.
25
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:26,550
That's why I decided to
prove I could do it. And I did.
26
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:30,094
It's right here in
San pueblo today.
27
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:36,696
"the x-rated life of Keith
partridge, by Keith partridge."
28
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:40,527
I got the paper to
print it all by myself.
29
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:44,204
"keith was born in a small
farmhouse in Spanish Harlem."
30
00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:46,565
what? He was born in a hospital
31
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,944
right here in San
pueblo. In the new wing.
32
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:52,152
Oh, mom, look at the
paragraph in boldface type.
33
00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:54,246
The boldface print
was my idea too.
34
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,078
"a girl can look like
a bucket of frogs,
35
00:01:56,083 --> 00:02:00,853
but I'll dig her if she's
wearing a black garter."
36
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:04,364
did they print the
paragraph in italics?
37
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:07,188
I'm afraid they did.
38
00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:09,795
"keith's first love was
a girl named Rose,
39
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:13,227
and that's why he has a
red Rose tattooed on his..."
40
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:15,104
he doesn't.
41
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:17,142
Oh, you probably never noticed.
42
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,907
It's always covered
by his billfold.
43
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:21,766
I don't know why Keith
made up this pack of lies.
44
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,805
But I'm certainly
gonna find out.
45
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,481
Mom, wait a minute.
46
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,179
Read the small print.
47
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:32,991
"written by Keith partridge
as told to Danny partridge."
48
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,716
[♪♪♪]
49
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,860
I suddenly get the idea
50
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:41,759
that Keith knows
nothing about this article.
51
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:44,802
Right. I just used his name
for that touch of realism.
52
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,768
Oh, well, I'm glad to hear that.
53
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:50,367
At least there's only one
degenerate in this family.
54
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:53,811
Did I do something wrong?
55
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:57,077
Forget I asked.
56
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,207
[♪♪♪]
57
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:06,322
[♪♪♪]
58
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,896
Danny, you're the most
corrupt person I know
59
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,228
under three feet tall.
60
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:20,703
How could you do it?
61
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,701
I had to get some publicity,
just to prove I could do it.
62
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,474
All right, so you
wanted to prove yourself.
63
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:29,244
But that's no reason to
make up a pack of lies.
64
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,213
I couldn't tell the
truth about Keith.
65
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,751
Let's face it, he's boring.
66
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:38,448
Danny, I think you and I
ought to continue this discussion
67
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:43,222
alone, outside, in the garage.
68
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,593
Couldn't we all talk about it?
69
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,332
Sort of a group discussion? No.
70
00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:48,227
Are you gonna beat him up? Yes.
71
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,858
Can I watch? No.
72
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:53,704
[♪♪♪]
73
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,941
Poor Danny.
74
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:57,496
I wish I could watch.
75
00:03:57,505 --> 00:04:02,165
Poor Keith. What's he
gonna do when he finds out?
76
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:06,675
I think I'll serve our x-rated
brother breakfast in bed.
77
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,118
Along with this little goodie.
78
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:12,247
[Knocking]
79
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,031
Oh, good morning, good
morning, good morning.
80
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:24,568
Wake up. You're
having breakfast in bed.
81
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,644
It's a beautiful day.
82
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:32,366
Why, the sun is out
and the birds are singing.
83
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:34,843
It's one of those days
that just makes you feel
84
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:36,242
happy to be alive.
85
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:40,553
Come on, rise and shine,
before your waffles get cold.
86
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:49,094
Uh, after 16 years of almost
total indifference from you,
87
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,289
why this?
88
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,630
Oh, whatever do you mean?
89
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,496
Oh, come on. Breakfast in bed?
90
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,026
And you haven't insulted
me. What's wrong?
91
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:01,131
Well, I didn't want your
day to be a total loss.
92
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,104
What total loss? It
hasn't even started yet.
93
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:06,844
Oh, believe me, it started.
94
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:11,740
You know, sundays are a good
day to catch up on your reading.
95
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,505
Ciao.
96
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,584
Ciao.
97
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,523
[♪♪♪]
98
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,024
How come you're
all standing around?
99
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,523
I have no other choice.
100
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:27,355
How did Keith take
it? Well, he hasn't yet.
101
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:29,461
I bet he went back to sleep.
102
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:31,163
Yeah, he's known to do that.
103
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,274
No, his curiosity is piqued.
104
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:36,196
It'll just take him a few
seconds to wake up.
105
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:39,973
Right about now he's probably
at his mirror brushing his hair.
106
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,413
[Thudding]
107
00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:43,179
He dropped his brush.
108
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:47,476
Now he'll go back to
the bed, he'll sit down,
109
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:52,821
he'll pick up the magazine,
and start reading the article.
110
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:56,560
It should be sinking
in right about...
111
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:59,257
Keith: I'll kill him! Don't
tell him where I am.
112
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,659
[♪♪♪]
113
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:07,597
I just want one shot
at him, clean and easy.
114
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,641
Where is he?
115
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,643
I was sold out.
116
00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:18,182
You sure were. You...
Keith, I was doing it for you.
117
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:21,078
With that kind of publicity, I
could make you a superstar.
118
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:25,121
Oh, well, I just wanna thank
you until you're black and blue.
119
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,948
So, I'm a black-garter
freak, am I?
120
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:29,524
You didn't read far enough.
121
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,593
About the Rose tattoo?
122
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:34,632
What Rose tattoo?
123
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,928
The one on your...
Hm. What's a "Hm"?
124
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:40,471
I don't know, but
your billfold covers it.
125
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:44,035
You didn't.
Hearsay. All hearsay.
126
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:46,737
Oh, you didn't. If
you didn't read that,
127
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,540
I guess you didn't get to
the really embarrassing part.
128
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:52,343
Embarrassing part?
You mean there's more?
129
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,745
About you and Mrs. Damion.
130
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,678
My English teacher?
131
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:02,722
She turns you on. Dirty old man.
132
00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:05,023
[♪♪♪]
133
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,055
Shirley: Keith, you're
in your pajamas.
134
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:10,130
You can't go running around
the neighborhood like that.
135
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,200
You'll start rumors.
136
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,910
He's buried me.
137
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:24,609
How can I go to school
tomorrow and face everybody?
138
00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:26,512
Especially Mrs. Damion.
139
00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:29,724
Oh, well, I'm sure
she's known all along.
140
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:31,977
Women sense those things.
141
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:34,515
[♪♪♪]
142
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,126
Eat your hearts out.
143
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,497
[Ringing]
144
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:58,312
[♪♪♪]
145
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:14,145
All right, now, that's enough.
146
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:17,564
Obviously we've all read
the article about Keith.
147
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,127
And I'm sure that we all realize
148
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:21,026
he's the victim
of a practical joke.
149
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:24,358
So now, let's just leave it at
that and get on with our lesson.
150
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:27,474
Now, all right,
151
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,897
yesterday we discussed
152
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:34,774
how Elizabeth Barrett
eloped with Robert Browning
153
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:38,135
and went to Italy. Well,
it was during this period
154
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:43,275
that Elizabeth Barrett Browning
wrote her most famous poem.
155
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,652
How do I love thee?
156
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:52,885
Let me count the ways.
157
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:56,863
I love thee to the depth
and breath and height
158
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:59,934
my soul can reach,
when feeling out of sight
159
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:03,943
for the ends of
being and ideal grace.
160
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:08,507
I love thee to the
levels of everyday's
161
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,938
most...
162
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,754
Where is he? I'll kill
him. What's going on?
163
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:16,417
Oh, nothing. I was
pelted with black garters.
164
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:19,216
Mrs. Damion recited love
poetry to me for an hour.
165
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:22,049
And don't ask about
the Rose tattoo.
166
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:23,755
Where is he?
167
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:26,587
[♪♪♪]
168
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:29,403
There you are, you
redheaded hamburger.
169
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:32,126
Keith, that's enough.
Look, I know how you feel.
170
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,102
But can't we talk
this out like adults?
171
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,171
Yeah, let's talk
it out like adults.
172
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,299
Fine, fine.
173
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,514
From one adult to
another, I'm gonna get you.
174
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:43,006
Lots of things are printed
about all of us that aren't true.
175
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,780
When you're in show business
you have to expect that.
176
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,079
Why lecture me? He's
the character assassin.
177
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,181
I already punished him for that.
178
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,353
Yeah, well, I haven't. Keith...
179
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:54,092
Keith,
180
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,728
I just wanted to get
you some free publicity.
181
00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:03,026
I didn't know it'd end up like
this. I was wrong. I'm sorry.
182
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,874
What can I say?
183
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,737
I can't hit a kid
who's apologizing,
184
00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:10,436
even though he deserves it.
185
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,842
This won't happen
again, will it?
186
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:16,941
I promise, it won't
happen again.
187
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:19,254
After next Sunday. What?
188
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,906
The article I wrote
was a two-parter.
189
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,045
You mean you wrote
something else about me?
190
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:27,451
It'll be quick and merciful.
Keith, it's not about you.
191
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:29,824
Oh?
192
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,793
Who's the second part about?
193
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,633
Well,
194
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:38,967
it's about someone who I
deeply admire and respect.
195
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,097
And I send her
mother's day cards.
196
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:44,970
Let's get him.
197
00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:47,372
[♪♪♪]
198
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,424
"so she decided to go
into business for herself.
199
00:11:56,416 --> 00:12:00,216
And that's when mom started
the school for exotic dancers."
200
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,890
a school for exotic
dancers, huh?
201
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:05,660
And you told me those
tassels were earrings.
202
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:08,228
I have to give you credit,
mom. You think big.
203
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,858
I learned to play the piano
to be the life of a party.
204
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,934
Okay, have you both finished?
205
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,303
Not quite yet.
206
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:16,571
Take a look at the
paragraph in boldface print.
207
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:20,469
Oh, I bet the boldface
type was Danny's idea.
208
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:23,383
"the ship mom was on
hit an iceberg and sank.
209
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,036
"mom was saved from going under
210
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:27,445
"because she held
onto a man's beard.
211
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:30,747
To this day she can't
resist a man with a beard."
212
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,820
Laurie: Why, mom,
you never told us.
213
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,220
I don't really need
this, you know.
214
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:36,892
Hey, here's something good.
215
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,360
A paragraph in italics.
216
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:41,928
I don't care to read
anymore. Oh, well, then...
217
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:43,599
Let's see.
218
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:48,196
"when mom was alone and
lost in the jungles of Zanzibar... "
219
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,971
I'd no idea you were
so well travelled.
220
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,741
I was kidnapped a lot.
221
00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:54,769
"... she lived for
six months eating
222
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,384
"only coconuts
and bamboo shoots.
223
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,947
"then she was found by a
newspaper correspondent
224
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,407
"wearing a trench coat.
225
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:05,654
And that's why..."
226
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:08,462
that's why what?
227
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:12,117
"and that's why mom is turned on
228
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,255
by any man wearing
a trench coat."
229
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,261
where is Danny? He skipped out
230
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:18,873
and I don't think he'll be
back until you've cooled off.
231
00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:22,026
If that's what he's waiting for,
we may never see him again.
232
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:24,065
But when I do... Mom, look,
233
00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:27,041
we've all been
through this before.
234
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,110
If you're gonna stay
in show business,
235
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,039
you've gotta
develop a tough skin.
236
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:35,114
Yeah, being on the top
can be a lonely place, mom.
237
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:38,515
But the show must go on. Right.
238
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,988
Oh, no, the show!
239
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:44,358
The pta fashion show is today.
240
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:47,257
How am I gonna
face all those women?
241
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,460
[Knocking]
242
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:52,571
Why fight it? You have
to face them sometime.
243
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:59,373
I think it's for you, mom.
244
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,812
[♪♪♪]
245
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:04,738
Brought your milk,
Mrs. Partridge.
246
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:06,384
[♪♪♪]
247
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,518
[♪♪♪]
248
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,320
Thank you, Sheila.
249
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:22,226
Our next model is
Mrs. Shirley partridge.
250
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:25,969
Shirley is wearing a casual
eveningwear ensemble.
251
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:29,666
A demure Navy suede midi coat
252
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:32,439
with matching boots and cap.
253
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:35,909
In startling contrast
to this shy cover-up,
254
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:41,479
Shirley is wearing
shocking-pink hot pants.
255
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,051
[Music playing]
256
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:17,348
Shirley: Danny?
257
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,951
Where is he? I'll kill him.
258
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,194
Something wrong?
259
00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:24,989
You know what's
wrong. Where is he?
260
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,131
Danny partridge.
261
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:32,861
I was sold out again.
262
00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:35,395
We go with the strength.
263
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:37,442
Mom, is there something wrong?
264
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,337
Oh, just the same old thing.
265
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,170
Men popping out of nowhere
266
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,575
wearing trench
coats and grinning.
267
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:47,277
And then when I appeared
at the pta fashion show
268
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,220
the women threw pennies at me.
269
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:53,186
Honest, mom, I never
asked for contributions.
270
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,586
Mom, I think we should
talk this out like adults.
271
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,818
After all, you've already
punished him once.
272
00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,894
A two-part article deserves
a two-part punishment.
273
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,163
[Doorbell ringing]
274
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:05,472
I'll get it. You certainly will.
275
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,674
Hi. Is your mother...? Reuben!
276
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:13,969
If that trench coat is your
idea of some kind of a joke...
277
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,913
No, it's my idea
of a trench coat.
278
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,910
What is going on around here?
279
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:24,352
Mom has come down with
an acute case of trench coat.
280
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:26,721
You know, you people
aren't making any more sense
281
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,059
than those reporters.
What reporters?
282
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,816
The ones who met
me at the airport.
283
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,623
They asked some weird questions.
284
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,755
Like what?
285
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:37,231
I can't say in mixed company.
286
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:39,100
What's all this about you being
287
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,999
from the Sally rand
school of etiquette?
288
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,501
Shirley: Danny
made up those stories.
289
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,904
He did?
290
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,865
Well, he can't
get away with that.
291
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:49,614
You should sue him for libel.
292
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,539
Never mind. What did
you tell the reporters?
293
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,875
I don't quite know what's
going on around here.
294
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:58,051
But I do know how to
handle myself with the press.
295
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,552
Reporter: Mr. Kincaid.
296
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,964
How much truth is
there in the recent article
297
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,586
concerning Shirley partridge?
298
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:08,132
Article? What article?
299
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:09,458
Great answer, Reuben.
300
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,132
Got out of that like a real pro.
301
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:12,931
I know how to
protect my clients.
302
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:15,902
Reporter: Well, the article
said that Shirley partridge
303
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:18,102
used to run a school
for exotic dancers.
304
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:21,165
You're kidding. No comment.
305
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:24,414
Reporter: There's also a
rumor Mrs. Partridge can't resist
306
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,111
a man with a beard.
307
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:28,113
I never knew...
308
00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:31,445
No comment. No comment?
309
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:35,351
Oh, Reuben, I'm certainly
glad you dispelled all the rumors.
310
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,255
You made it sound
like it was all true.
311
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,587
You really got me off the hook.
312
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:42,832
He hit me with those cockamamie
questions out of the blue.
313
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,799
How would I know what
you were before I knew you?
314
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,168
Reuben.
315
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,638
Maybe we can call up the station
316
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:52,036
and have them retract
it on tomorrow's show.
317
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:54,968
Well, how do you
retract a "No comment"?
318
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,684
That does it.
319
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:59,106
I'm not gonna show my
face outside this house
320
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,152
until this whole
thing blows over.
321
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:02,508
Well, you can't do that.
322
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,715
What about the
concert tomorrow night?
323
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:08,147
Oh, the concert.
324
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,615
After the concert.
325
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,922
Seems to me that you
should be more worried
326
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,394
about the concert than after it.
327
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:16,233
It's a convention,
remember? All men.
328
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,199
[♪♪♪]
329
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:20,468
Yeah, and we've all
heard those stories
330
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:22,097
about wild conventioneers.
331
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,741
[♪♪♪]
332
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,835
[Indiscernible chatter]
333
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:36,483
Do they look friendly? Oh, very.
334
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:39,323
Joy buzzers, funny
hats, lots of confetti.
335
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:42,519
Just your average group
of clean-cut rowdies.
336
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:44,122
They're gonna get me.
337
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,293
Oh, why, now you're
being paranoid.
338
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:48,393
Mom, these people
are all from out of town.
339
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:50,855
They probably haven't
read our Sunday supplement.
340
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,933
Why, it's only local.
Do you really think so?
341
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:57,373
No, I was lying.
342
00:18:57,370 --> 00:19:02,010
Man [on microphone]:
Gentlemen, the partridge family.
343
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,178
[Applause]
344
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:13,015
♪ if you ever put me down ♪
345
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:17,759
♪ I would fall right
through the ground ♪
346
00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:22,387
♪ couldn't make it on my own ♪
347
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:26,265
♪ couldn't stay here all alone ♪
348
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:27,726
family: ♪ ooh ♪
349
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:31,604
♪ and there would be no sun ♪
350
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:38,514
♪ and there would
be no one to run to ♪
351
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,951
♪ if you ever go ♪
352
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:44,147
family: ♪ honey, honey
you'll never know ♪
353
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,520
♪ honey, you'll never know ♪
354
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,149
family: ♪ honey, honey
you'll never know ♪
355
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:52,655
♪ what it would do to me ♪
356
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:55,289
♪ the hurt would be new to me ♪
357
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:58,195
♪ honey, it's new to me ♪
358
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,167
♪ if you could ever believe ♪
359
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:05,797
♪ the love I got up my sleeve ♪
360
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:10,205
♪ then you would never go ♪
361
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:14,449
♪ honey, don't ever go ♪
362
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,817
family: ♪ you'll never know ♪
363
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:21,546
♪ if you ever said goodbye ♪
364
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:25,964
♪ I would want so much to die ♪
365
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:31,098
♪ all the world
would look so gray ♪
366
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:35,097
♪ couldn't face another day ♪
367
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:39,741
♪ and there would be no sun ♪
368
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:45,579
♪ and there would
be no one to run to ♪
369
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,748
all: ♪ if you ever go ♪
370
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,418
family: ♪ honey, honey
you'll never know ♪
371
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:53,818
♪ honey, you'll never know ♪
372
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:56,490
family: ♪ honey, honey
you'll never know ♪
373
00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:58,389
♪ what it would do to me ♪
374
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,431
family: ♪ what it
would do to me ♪
375
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,957
♪ the hurt would be new to me ♪
376
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,702
family: ♪ honey,
it's new to me ♪
377
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:06,697
♪ if you could ever... ♪
378
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:09,039
[applause]
379
00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:17,843
Well, if they're gonna get
you, they're gonna get you now.
380
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:27,123
Men: Bravo! Bravo!
381
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,389
Gee, they really like us.
We'd better take another bow.
382
00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,896
[♪♪♪]
383
00:21:51,077 --> 00:21:52,777
It just got here.
384
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,149
Great.
385
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,076
Here, let's hide it.
386
00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:59,252
Shirley: What's going...?
Danny: Good morning.
387
00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:01,951
Ah. Good morning, brother.
388
00:22:01,954 --> 00:22:04,294
Welcome to breakfast.
389
00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:07,430
Laurie: Two eggs over
easy, bacon crisp and dry.
390
00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:09,057
Just the way you like it.
391
00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:10,361
Fresh chocolate milk
392
00:22:10,363 --> 00:22:12,633
served in your favorite
Donald duck glass.
393
00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:15,672
A big napkin
because you're messy.
394
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,298
In case you haven't noticed,
395
00:22:17,303 --> 00:22:18,973
there are two words
that are not used
396
00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:21,171
in the partridge
family vocabulary:
397
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:22,773
"brotherly love."
398
00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:25,835
however, there are two
words more commonly used.
399
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:27,075
Yes?
400
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:30,349
"get even."
401
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:32,949
Keith, what's in that magazine?
402
00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:36,692
Well, mom, ever since Danny's
article about you came out
403
00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:38,959
it sort of took me
out of the limelight.
404
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:42,488
So I've noticed. And
as concerned children
405
00:22:42,495 --> 00:22:45,995
we felt that what was needed
was a re-focusing of attention.
406
00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:47,868
So we all got together and...
407
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:50,237
"and Danny really
doesn't wanna be a singer.
408
00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:53,706
He only sings with the family
to pay for his ballet lessons."
409
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:57,006
ballet lessons? That's
an out-and-out lie.
410
00:22:57,009 --> 00:23:00,649
Well, they can't tell
the truth about you.
411
00:23:00,647 --> 00:23:03,207
Let's face it, you're boring.
412
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,775
Keith: Yeah. Get
down to the good part.
413
00:23:05,785 --> 00:23:08,515
Skip down to the
paragraph in boldface print.
414
00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:10,521
Chris: The boldface
print was my idea.
415
00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:12,823
Everybody kicks you
when you're down.
416
00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:15,985
Well, go ahead. Read
the worst. I can take it.
417
00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:17,295
Okay.
418
00:23:17,296 --> 00:23:20,666
"danny claims to be
very tight with his money.
419
00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:24,267
"but the truth is he's
generous to a fault.
420
00:23:24,270 --> 00:23:27,270
"he's constantly giving
away all his money to charity.
421
00:23:27,273 --> 00:23:30,883
"he once pledged the shirt
off his back to a telethon.
422
00:23:30,877 --> 00:23:34,207
In fact, being
poor turns him on."
423
00:23:34,213 --> 00:23:35,483
[doorbell ringing]
424
00:23:35,482 --> 00:23:37,682
That's defamation of character.
425
00:23:37,684 --> 00:23:39,894
I'm a tightwad and you know it.
426
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:42,447
That's a low blow.
427
00:23:42,455 --> 00:23:45,155
Yeah. Right in the billfold.
428
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,528
Danny, it's for you.
429
00:23:48,528 --> 00:23:51,098
[♪♪♪]
430
00:23:58,505 --> 00:24:00,965
Mom?
431
00:24:06,078 --> 00:24:09,548
Give till it feels good.
432
00:24:09,549 --> 00:24:11,849
[♪♪♪]
433
00:24:20,159 --> 00:24:23,199
[♪♪♪]
434
00:24:23,249 --> 00:24:27,799
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