Original subtitles

[The partridge family's "Come on get happy" Playing]

♪ hello, world, hear the song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we had a dream we'd go traveling together ♪

♪ we'd spread a little love ♪

♪ and then we'll keep movin' on ♪

♪ something always happens whenever we're together ♪

♪ we get a happy feeling when we're singing a song ♪

♪ traveling along there's a song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

[♪♪♪]

[Screeching and creaking]

Oh! Oh!

Keith, don't ever do that again. Do what?

Walk down this hall. What's that sound?

I don't know. I just hope it's one of ours.

Come on. Let's go see what it is.

You're kidding.

Oh, what were you doing out of bed?

Oh, well, I was thinking more along the lines

of sneaking out and running for help.

I doubt if it's a burglar.

They're usually not that noisy on the job.

Come on. Let's see what it is

before it wakes the neighborhood.

Good idea. Let's go!

Not that. I mean letting it

wake up the whole neighborhood.

Then we won't have to face it alone.

[Screeching and creaking continues]

Well, I wasn't cut out to be a hero.

[♪♪♪]

[Screeching and creaking continues]

[Sighs]

Danny.

Keith. Danny.

Oh, hi, mom.

Keith, what are you doing up so early?

Don't tell me you just got back from a night baseball game.

Danny, what are you doing?

Listening to an album of Laurie's.

I didn't play it in the house

because I didn't wanna wake up the whole family.

So you came out here and woke up the whole neighborhood.

What were those sounds anyway?

Not sounds, songs. It's whales singing.

Whales? Yep.

Bet you didn't know whales could sing, did you?

Well, I figured it was either that or Wayne Newton.

Danny, that's all very interesting,

but what are you doing up at this hour listening to whales?

Well, see, Laurie just got the album last night.

That's when I got my brilliant idea.

What idea?

Those whales have very pretty voices, don't they?

Beautiful. Exactly.

So we're gonna make a million dollars

cashing in on the ecology movement.

Well, don't you get it?

The partridge family will be the first group

to have a whale lead singer.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Danny: I'm telling you, it's a million-dollar idea.

To be truthful with you, Danny, it's a terrible idea.

Chris: It's gonna be awful crowded in the bus with a whale along.

Yeah. Why don't we bring my goldfish instead?

The whale won't actually be with us. He'll be on tapes.

See, here's what we do.

We record the whale's voice underwater,

then you write a song to it.

Then whammo, a million bucks.

Keith: Great idea.

Then after we do an album of whales wailing,

we can do one with hummingbirds humming.

Better yet, we can do one with toads.

Then you can be the lead singer.

Mom, are you gonna let him talk to me like that?

Yes.

No one appreciates my genius.

Judy Collins did one song with whales in the background.

We're gonna do a whole album.

We gotta think big.

Laurie: Good morning. All: Good morning.

What's my album doing down here? I thought I left it in my room.

Well, you were asleep,

and I just borrowed it to make a million dollars.

Mom, have you heard this yet?

It'll blow your mind.

I have, and it did.

Danny was playing it full blast at 5 this morning.

Danny wants to sign up a whale to sing with us.

What? It's a natural.

Ecology's big these days, right?

So we put a whale in the act and then we cash in on it.

Terrific idea, huh?

That is the worst idea I've ever heard.

I thought you liked animals. I do. That's the point.

I don't get it.

You're the one that bought the record in the first place.

Danny, the man who made this album is a zoologist.

He didn't do it to become famous or to make a million dollars.

I bet you can't guess his motives, can you?

Does it have anything to do with women's lib?

He wanted to make people more aware of the whale.

I read the liner notes.

Laurie: They're almost extinct.

That's because we slaughter them.

And I think it's crass and disgusting to profit from them.

I don't want any part of it.

I agree with her. So do I.

I don't get it.

My idea isn't gonna hurt any whales.

I just wanna make a million bucks, that's all.

Danny, you're exploiting them.

You're using the fact

that the whale is in trouble for your own personal gain.

What do you mean, "Exploiting"?

All I wanna do is make some whale a star.

Oh, Danny.

[♪♪♪]

No, I'm sorry. You people won't do either.

My ad specifically said I was looking for a whale.

Uh, kid, kid, just a minute. Come here.

Listen. Listen to me.

I've been in show business for many years.

And believe me when I tell you,

you can't get a better attraction than a dancing bear.

Now here, I'll show you what I mean. Watch this.

All right, gentle frank, let's go. Hit it.

[Singing]

He's a little bit shy. He'll be all right.

Come on. Gentle frank, let's go. Hit it.

Come on, gentle frank. Hey, peewee. You're on, baby.

Let's go.

He doesn't have his taps on. But he'll... stay with me.

[Singing]

Shirley: Danny.

Lady, will you wait your turn? My bear is on.

Sir? Sir? What's that?

Uh, I'm looking for a whale. I don't want a bear, sir.

Well, listen, i...

I got a horse at home that does fantastic tricks.

No, sir. I'm not looking for a horse or a bear.

Uh, hi, mom. Um...

"wanted. One singing whale. Must have talent.

Others need not apply. Danny partridge."

I didn't know all those people

were gonna show up with their animals.

Thought it'd be just one little whale.

Danny, how could you do this? It's a million-dollar idea!

Everyone in this family told you

what we thought of your million-dollar idea.

We're not gonna exploit whales or bears

or even people for any amount of money!

Have I made myself clear this time?

I'm sorry. I was only trying to help out.

Don't help so much.

[♪♪♪]

Where would I find a singing whale anyway?

Laurie: Danny, telephone!

[♪♪♪]

Danny: Hello?

Yeah.

No kidding? Out of sight. Yeah, we'll be there tomorrow.

Bye.

And you said it couldn't be done.

What couldn't be done?

I just found a whale to sing in our act.

[♪♪♪]

Shirley: Dr. Whelander, do you know why Danny put that ad in the paper?

I understand you wanna make a record using the whale.

To be perfectly honest,

when he first came up with the idea, we all refused.

I just felt that it was taking advantage

of the plight of the whales.

The fact that whales are almost extinct

is the reason I wanna do it.

My reasons exactly.

If more people become aware of whales...

Well, maybe they'll do something

to keep them from being slaughtered.

It's a nice whale.

Yes, and smart.

They're the most intelligent animal, next to humans.

You're kidding. Oh, no.

There are documented cases of whales and porpoises

saving the lives of drowning swimmers.

We repay them by killing them.

Keith: Why do they kill the whales?

Whelander: They kill them to make dog food.

Dog food? It's hard to believe.

Unfortunately, it's true.

That's why marineland wants to make this record.

Because any profits we receive will go

to the New York zoological society.

They're working to save the whale.

Well, if our making the record can do anything at all

to help the whale, I'm all for it.

Me too. Okay.

But if we do do it, we'll donate our profits too.

Great idea. Why don't we donate 10 percent?

Better yet, 5 percent.

We wouldn't want to put them in a higher tax bracket.

A hundred percent.

A hundred percent? A hundred percent?

I'm glad you agree.

[♪♪♪]

[Whales screeching on speakers]

Well, have you ever been to a recording session before?

Oh, I feel like a kid.

I haven't been this excited since I captured my first shark.

Yeah, a lot of people say that.

All right, hold it. That's where we wanna start.

Okay, it's cued up. This is a take.

Any time you're ready. All right.

One, two, one... ma'am?

Cut.

Uh, uh, y'all the partridge family?

Yes...

Sir, this is no time for autographs.

You're holding up a recording session.

That's what I aim to do.

Hey, doc, you remember me? No, should I?

You remember about four years ago?

My name's flicker. E .j. Flicker.

My friends all call me squint.

This is no time for social pleasantries.

We have work to do.

I heard that y'all are making a recording with my whale.

Your whale? You're the man who called us

to get the whale out of the inlet.

I'm the man, and that's my whale.

Mr. Flicker, what's this all about?

Well, ma'am...

I read in yesterday's paper

that y'all are making a recording with my whale.

How did that get in the papers?

I told the reporter I was talking off the record.

You keep referring to it as your whale.

The last time I talked to you,

you referred to it as "That thing."

well, that thing is my whale. I found him...

And I don't remember giving y'all

any recording leases to him neither.

I don't believe it. Whelander: It's not your whale!

Well, I'm sorry, but my lawyers disagree.

And y'all ain't gonna make no record

until we come to some understanding.

How much?

Fifty percent. Fifty percent!

It wasn't even your idea. That's right.

That's the only reason why I'm asking 50 percent.

Fair is fair.

You are out of your mind

if you think we're going to give you 50 percent.

Well...

In that case, me and my whale are gonna take a little walk.

[♪♪♪]

Y'all keep in touch, you hear?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[Knocking on door]

Shirley: Danny, are you there?

Yeah.

Shirley: Honey?

Don't you feel well? I feel rotten.

Is it your throat again?

No, it's my conscience.

When I saw Mr. Flicker yesterday,

it was like seeing myself in a mirror.

And I didn't like what I saw. What do you mean?

Well...

He doesn't care anything about the whale.

Doesn't care anything about any whale.

He just wants to make money off of it.

And when I first came up with this idea...

That's all I was interested in too.

He made me see what I was really like.

Rotten.

Well, if you're so rotten, why do you feel bad?

Because I didn't care about the whale.

But you care now. Well, yeah.

Well, maybe you're not as rotten as you think you are.

It's how you feel now that really counts.

As far as seeing yourself in Mr. Flicker...

Well, he's much older than you.

Not nearly as handsome.

Oh, mom.

Kincaid: Shirley? Are you there? Be right down.

Come on. Let's see if Reuben has some good news.

[♪♪♪]

What'd you find out? Nothing good.

My lawyer says flicker does not have a case.

Well, is that bad? Yes.

If flicker insists on taking this to court,

he'll lose eventually.

But a lawsuit can drag out for years.

But whales might be extinct by then.

If the record's gonna do any good,

it's gotta come out right away.

Kincaid: That's where flicker's got us, and he knows it.

Looks like we're gonna have to give him the 50 percent.

Boy, I really blew it this time.

I'm never gonna talk to a reporter again.

Kincaid: I know how you feel, kid.

He didn't even spell your name right.

Reuben?

Could you arrange for us to cut

that album tomorrow at marineland?

Well, I suppose I could. But why?

I think the press might be very interested in covering it.

Mom? A publicity stunt? You might call it that.

Reuben, could you draw up some release forms

for Mr. Flicker to sign?

Yeah.

Mr. Flicker?

It's Mrs. Partridge.

[♪♪♪]

[Laughs]

Okay. Squint.

And you call me Shirley.

Look, um, we've decided to accept your very generous offer.

Yes.

And we're going to do the album tomorrow at marineland.

And the press will be there and well,

we wanted you to come.

After all, it is your whale.

Good, good. One o'clock.

See you then.

[♪♪♪]

Mom, you have feet of Clay.

[♪♪♪]

Well, shirl, I'm ready when you are.

Good.

Please, be brutal.

It's not like me, Shirley. But I'll do my very best.

We're ready, Mr. Flicker.

Mr. Flicker? Yes, ma'am.

This is Mr. Howard cosell of abc.

Nice to know you. Nice to know you, sir.

Well, look, now that you're both here,

we're running a little bit short of time.

I've already taped the introductory part

which explains what you're doing here.

Now I'd like to get right into the interview.

Fine. Kids, come on.

All right, I think we're about all set.

Okay, Sam.

Mr. Flicker, I understand you're the one

who originally found this great whale.

That's right.

Found him grounded in my inlet.

Laying there just like a fish out of water.

The most pitiful thing you ever did see.

And that, of course, was when you called marineland.

Yes. He didn't want that thing dying on his property.

I sure didn't. I love animals.

And if it wasn't for me,

this magnificent beast wouldn't be alive today,

starring on this record.

Well, of course that's very noble of you.

I happen to be an animal lover myself.

But what about you, Mrs. Partridge?

Oh, an animal lover? I certainly am.

Well, I know you claim you're making

this record for humanitarian reasons,

but aren't you really exploiting the whale?

Why, whatever do you mean?

The fact is that you're making this record for commercial gain.

Isn't that true? Oh, no, Mr. Cosell.

Why, our 50 percent of the profits

is being donated to the New York zoological society

for the preservation of whales.

But the other 50 percent...

Well, I have no control over that.

Oh, who does?

Fifty percent?

Am I getting that much? Your lawyer insisted.

Mr. Flicker, since that's the case,

10 million viewers are watching you right now who wanna know

what are you going to do with your share of the money?

Well, i... I am a very humanitarian type.

Personally, whales are sure high up on my list.

Second only to hoof-and-mouth disease.

Flicker: Whales are one of the things

that make this great country great.

The land of the home, free of the brave.

Well, we know this is a great country, Mr. Flicker.

But address yourself, if you will, to the question.

What are you going to do with the money?

Well, uh, I do gotta get my clutch in my car fixed.

Oh, I'll pay for that.

Oh, well, of course I'm gonna give my money to the whales.

Well, what else can I do?

I mean, what else can any concerned American do?

The first thing in the morning. Kincaid: Good news, Mr. Flicker.

You don't have to wait till morning.

Knowing your generous nature,

I prepared this release form.

And you can sign away your money in front of 10 million viewers.

All right. It's all yours, Mr. Flicker.

Of course I'll sign.

Just one sweep of this here pen

and I'll be giving away thousands of dollars.

But what good is money when nature needs me?

Now's the time for every good man

to come to the aid of their nation.

I need my car clutch.

You gotta take a back seat to the plight of the whale.

[♪♪♪]

You set this whole thing up with Mr. Cosell, didn't you?

Well, let's just say we're both animal lovers.

I'm sorry I suspected you of having feet of Clay.

You're all right, and you're sneaky too.

[Partridge family playing "Whale song"]

[Whales screeching]

[Singing "Whale song"]

♪ whale song soft and low ♪

♪ sing me a story as gently you go ♪

♪ whale song I hear what you say ♪

♪ this may be the last time you're passin' this way ♪

♪ sing me a song of times that you knew ♪

♪ when the waters were clear and the seabirds they flew ♪

♪ through a sky that was clear from the sea to the land ♪

♪ free from the fear and destruction of man ♪

♪ whale song soft and low ♪

♪ sing me a story as gently you go ♪

♪ whale song I hear what you say ♪

♪ this may be the last time you're passin' this way ♪

♪ song of the whale so sweet and so clear ♪

♪ but no song at all to the ones who won't hear ♪

♪ and if people don't listen and if people don't know ♪

♪ might the song of the man be the next song to go ♪

♪ whale song continue to sing ♪

♪ there's a place in this world for each livin' thing ♪

♪ so long but just for today ♪

♪ 'cause people will listen and I know there's a way ♪

[whales screeching]

[♪♪♪]

Thank you very much, Howard.

I really appreciate what you did for us.

Any time at all and you know that, Shirley.

The pleasure was all mine, believe me.

So long, gentlemen.

Kincaid: Mr. Cosell, thanks a lot.

Thank you, Howard. See you soon again, shirl.

Bye.

Boy, you both did that so well

it almost seems like it should be illegal.

You were beautiful. Thank you.

Mom, what if it hadn't worked?

Well, I had a little backup plan.

I was gonna bill the old cheapskate

for tending and feeding his whale for four years.

Do you have any idea how much a whale eats?

I have five kids, remember?

Mom, do you think it'll do any good?

I mean, do you think it helps the whale any?

Danny, I wish I could say yes. But I really don't know.

I never knew a whale before.

But now that I've met one, I'd miss him if he were gone.

["whale song" Playing]

♪ and if people don't listen and if people don't know ♪

♪ might the song of the man be the next song to go ♪

[♪♪♪]

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