All language subtitles for Lost in Space - 02x19 - Mutiny in Space.DVD-Rip .English.HI.updated.Addic7ed.com

[ Man Narrating ]
Last week, as you recall...

we left Will and the Robot working with
Dr. Smith on his rainmaking device...

unaware that they were soon
to be shanghaied...

on an incredible voyage
through outer space.

Ready on the left?
Ready on the right?

Ready on the firing line!

- Oh, no! I think it's headed for the Jupiter!
- Ridiculous!

Will Robinson is correct.

- Your calculations are snafu, Dr. Smith.
- Oh, dear.

- It's gonna hit the ship!
- Everybody, behind those rocks, quick!

Well, it missed the ship,
but I don't know how.

A little bit of luck? Whew.

It smells as though someone
just blew out 10,000 candles.

I think it smells like
the Fourth of July.

- If you ask me, it smells like Smith.
- We better start repairing this.

- Come on, Penny. We'll get the tool kit.
- Okay.

Until we make
a new set of instruments...

we're gonna have to rely on our senses to tell
what kind of weather's blowing on the wind.

Here's a piece of the casing
that contained the charge.

[ Sniffs ]
Hydrochloric acid.

- Phosphorous.
- And nitroglycerine.

Aren't those some of the chemicals
we have in our lab?

- Had, Maureen.
- Will!

Did anything happen?

Oh, I see that it did.

Well, that's the end of Dr. Smith's
rainmaking experiment.

- And the end of Dr. Smith.
- Where is he?

Back there. He asked me to come here
and ask you if it was raining...

before he came.

As you can see, it has been raining.
It's been raining flak!

It's a miracle none of us
were hit, or the ship!

You go back and tell Dr. Smith
that I want to see him right now!

Yes, sir,
but I don't think he'll come.

Then he can stay out there
till it really rains, and then some!

Oh, there now, Will.
Don't worry about Dr. Smith.

Ah! I felt a drop that time.

It's wet. Experiment
concluded and successful.

The wetness on the palm of your hand,
Dr. Smith, is cold sweat...

usually produced by fear.

Indeed. And what have I to fear,
you nattering ninny?

Do you wish me
to draw you a diagram?

- Where is that boy? Why hasn't he come?
- The reason is obvious.

"The best-laid plans of mice and Smith,
gang aft agley."

You are in hot water,
Dr. Smith, up to your neck.

I was only trying to convince the heavens
to release a bit of rain.

- Surely they'll understand that.
- Do you wanna bet?

Certainly not! Betting is vulgar.

What's that?
I just saw a shadow on those rocks.

Will? Will, my dear boy, is that you?
[ Gasps ]

Good heavens!

Some poor unfortunate's obviously
made an involuntary landing.

- Wouldn't you say?
- Affirmative.

Upon me soul,
what extraordinary creatures.

Poor devil.

Sucked into space
when the hull split apart, probably.

A reasonable deduction,
but not entirely true.

Is it possible
it could be made to fly?

Possible, but highly improbable.

You are planning a getaway,
Dr. Smith?

We shall see.
Yes, indeed, we shall.

As for you, sir...

mind your manners
if you intend to keep your friends.

- [ Alarm Wailing ]
- [ Gasps ]

This will bear a little looking into,
I think.

Hold your tongue.
Come along.

Fugitives or castaways,
by the look of 'em.

Planning a getaway, are you?

Well, Admiral Zahrk is not averse
to helping those who can help him...

if I can make mariners
out of them.

You haven't seen the last
of Admiral Zahrk...

Mr. Kidnoh!

Not by a long shot!

[ Snorting ]

[ Inhaling ]

[ Sneezes ]

Won't someone
say something to me?

Even a friendly smile
would be enough.

Judy?

Oh, sadness, oh, sorrow.
We were such good chums.

Major, I give you permission
to talk to me as harshly as you like.

Insult me, please, Major.

Oh, dear. Not even
a single venomous word.

In that case, I have no choice but to remove
myself at the earliest possible moment...

from this torment of ostracism.

By a fortunate happenstance...

I have discovered a vehicle which,
with a few minor repairs...

will take me into a silence...

that is far, far better
than the silence of friends.

I shall take with me
only those few necessaries...

which will enable me to survive
until my untimely end.

With your permission,
I should like to borrow a repair kit.

Thank you.

- Dr. Smith, are you--
- Yes, dear girl?

Adieu.

Adieu.

- Now, do you suppose that he really--
- I don't understand--

- I'm gonna tell you one thing about Smith--
- One at a time!

I don't know. He may really mean it,
especially if he's found the vehicle.

I think he was just saying that
to make us feel sorry for him.

As a matter of fact,
I did feel sorry for him.

- I don't feel a bit sorry for him.
- Oh, poor Dr. Smith.

Poor Dr. Smith?
Oh, poor Dr. Smith!

Why don't we throw him a party
to show how happy we are...

that he blew up our weather station?

Look, I don't care whether he's telling the
truth or not about finding that vehicle.

One thing's certain--
he's incapable of repairing it.

So whatever scheme he's got
up his sleeve to get off the hook...

just remember this--

until further notice,
Dr. Smith is off-limits.

My sentiments exactly.

What are you trying to do,
ruin everything, you lamebrained lump?

I wish to correct
your omissions, Dr. Smith.

Without proper caulking...

adequate pressure within the ship
cannot be maintained.

You could not survive
in the vacuum of space.

Simple Simon, don't you realize that
this pitiful rattletrap of a vehicle...

will convince the Robinsons that they will be
responsible for my death if they let me go?

As humanitarians,
they will at once regret...

the cruel and unusual punishment
that they've bestowed upon me...

and restore me at once
to my rightful place in their midst.

Oh, dear. Now I really must rest.
My back is extremely delicate.

You, sir, will come along
and give me adequate warning...

when the Robinsons' curiosity induces
them to come and see me at work.

There. [ Yawns ]
Oh, dear.

Rest, rest, rest, rest.

What a foul weaver of cowardly
conspiracy that fellow is.

He and Kidnoh are two of a kind--
scheming rascals.

[ Gasps ]
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.

If I didn't need his help,
I'd have him flogged for this.

Scamping his work
like a galley scullion.

Oh, well.
[ Sighs ]

Hardly fitting work
for an admiral...

but needs must
when the devil drives.

Warning! Warning!
Danger! Warning!

Danger! Warning! Warning!

Will you stop that blather,
you bubbleheaded booby?

- A person is approaching.
- That's better.

- What kind of a person?
- Diminutive.

Active, imaginative, inquisitive.

Except for the diminutive part,
sounds exactly like me.

Well, I suppose we'd best
get back to the alien ship.

- Is he coming this way?
- He will be here directly.

Good. It will give me
a chance to convince him.

What you are doing is not honest,
Dr. Smith.

Spare me the accurate appraisals,
dunderhead.

Gosh, Robot, there really is a spaceship.
Looks like it's a pretty good one too.

In a manner of speaking,
you are correct, Will Robinson.

Have you no greeting for me,
dear boy?

Tell Dr. Smith I'm sorry,
but he's still off-limits.

That is, he's ostra-- ostra--

- Ostracized.
- Yeah, that's right.

Tell Dr. Smith not to worry,
'cause I don't think...

that the-- the silent treatment
will last too long.

But I have my pride, you know.

I cannot allow myself
to be treated like a pariah.

I made the only choice
that was open to me.

- Did you hear that, Will Robinson?
- Uh-huh.

- Then I do not have to repeat that either.
- Oh.

I see you've been working
on the spaceship.

Tell Dr. Smith he did a real good
caulking job on the hatch.

Thank the young man.
Thank him--

The hatch?

Who is responsible for this?

Do not look at me.

Tell Dr. Smith that I'm sorry
that he has to go...

but I understand how he feels about
being off-limits and everything.

- Tell him that if I can help in any way--
- Oh, he can. He really can.

I would like a spare astro-compass
and some food...

a few pressure patches
and some extra food...

a little fuel and whatever small delicacies
in the way of food he can spare.

Tell Dr. Smith I'll do the best I can
and that I'll see him later.

Thank the young man.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

They'll never let me go, once he tells them
how ill-prepared I am for such a flight.

Don't you dare to ask me
if I want to bet on that.

No one would take a bet
on such skullduggery, Dr. Smith.

Silence,
you presumptuous pip-squeak.

Ah, I agree with you, laddie.

An excellent caulking job.

Admiral Zahrk's hand
has not lost its cunning...

or his spirit its determination.

Cast me adrift to perish in space,
would you...

Mr. Kidnoh?

Well, you're wrong!

You're wrong, you mutinous dog!

[ Snorting ]

Dr. Smith?

Dr. Smith?

Hey!

Come along, boy. Come along.

Don't dawdle in the companionway!

There's work to be done.

Come along, boy.
Come along. Come along.

Man the helm! Man the helm.

We're casting off.

- Where are we going?
- "Sir," boy. "Sir."

- Yes, sir, but--
- "Aye, aye, sir."

Aye, aye, sir,
but where are we going?

Stand by for castoff!

As quartermaster pro tem, boy...

your duty is to obey orders,
not ask questions.

Sir, I just want to know
where we're going...

because wherever it is,
I don't wanna go.

I live here with my family, and you
had no right to drag me aboard.

"Sir," boy, "sir"...

when you address an admiral
of the Imperial Cassiopeian fleet.

I'll relay a signal to your grandfather
informing him...

that you are now under the protection
of Admiral Zahrk.

You'll be well taken care of, boy.

If you mean Dr. Smith,
he's not my grandfather...

and I don't want anybody taking care
of me except my own family... sir.

Listen, boy.

He who ships with Admiral Zahrk...

ships to glory!

Your family will be proud of you.

They'd rather have me with them.

By order of Admiral Zahrk,
for the good of the fleet...

for the honor of your family...

you are now articled
as a volunteer.

Stand by for takeoff!

Clear the bow!

Admiral, listen.

- You've got to listen to me!
- Man your helm, mister!

Oh, uh, uh, attend
to your helm, mister.

Stand by!

Blast away!

[ Rumbling ]

Nothing makes a man more proud
of his profession...

than a splendid liftoff.

You'll-- You'll get your space legs
in just a few moments, laddie.

Ah! The Sipheus
on the starboard bow.

Here, take a look.

Good old Sipheus.

Send a flare of friendship out to 'em,
Quartermaster.

I think we're still on the ground, sir.

Are you presuming
to question my navigation...

on my bridge, Quartermaster?

- I'm afraid I am, sir.
- What?

Oh, damnable incompetence
below decks!

I could have staked my life--

Ah! Here's the trouble.

Crossed power line.

Stand by for takeoff!

Blast... away!

Drat!

We seem to have sustained some
minor damage, Quartermaster.

Oh, our chronometer seems
to have suffered too.

Ah, there she goes.

Nil desperandum.

It'll all be repaired, lad,
after I've dined.

Attend to table, boy.

Aye, aye, sir.

Did it again.

Excellent roast. Done to a turn.

Had some experience
in the galley, have you?

That roast was cooked
by my mother, sir.

It wasn't really intended for you.
It was meant for Dr. Smith.

- Bah!
- Do you happen to know where he is, sir?

Carousing in some infamous
grog shop, no doubt.

More wine!

There, there, boy.
[ Clears Throat ]

We'll attend to the damage presently.

Duty can wait
on an excellent repast, eh?

[ Gasps ]

Ohh.

Duty.

It's a word that swine Mr. Kidnoh...

seems to have forgotten!

But I'll make him remember it!

That I will.

There'll be no quarter
for Mr. Kidnoh...

when I catch up with him.

And when he learns
what punishment I've devised...

his eyes will start
from their sockets...

in mortal terror.

Mr. Kidnoh, take that...

and that and that!

That and that!

Cuckoo!

- Cuckoo!
- Who said that?

Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

- Is Will all right?
- Yes.

I put him to bed and told him to save
his wild stories for the morning.

Let's see now--
an alien spaceship...

a rough, tough admiral
who shanghais children...

a Dr. Smith who can't be found,
let alone a robot.

It's wild enough to be believable.

Where did Will say
he found that ship?

Over in the rock canyon area,
I believe.

We could see the rocks with the scope,
but, uh, anything below that, nah.

Something tells me
you're planning to investigate.

Only to find out how much truth there is
to Dr. Smith's story about finding a ship.

Certainly not Will's about an admiral.

Aren't you curious about Will's story?

No, just fascinated by that boy's
fantastic imagination.

Admiral Zahrk of the Imperial
Cassiopeian Navy-- wow!

Do we go out there
in the morning?

Yeah, I guess so.

- What'd you find?
- A burned-out propulsion unit.

At least I guess that's what it was.

And other instruments that could
be in working order or not.

I'm not familiar with them.

Lower deck looks like it
could've been crew's quarters.

- Not admiral's quarters?
- No evidence that it was
even used by a midshipman.

But it is an alien ship, so that part of
Smith's story-- as well as Will's-- is correct.

I guess you owe Will an apology
for that part of it.

But what do you owe Smith,
if you can find him?

I'm still working on that one.

There's no hurry. This ship isn't
going anywhere, nor is Smith.

John, it might be kind of interesting
if we could pretend that he was.

- What do you mean?
- Well, just suppose that-- [ Chuckles ]

- Come on. I'll show you.
- All right.

Dr. Smith.

Are you going to lie
in the sack all day?

It is well past breakfast time.

- Did you say "breakfast"?
- I said it was well past breakfast time.

Ohh.

That hard bed leaves
a great deal to be desired.

My back is a disaster area.

Do you suppose Will has arrived
with the supplies I ordered?

If you mean food,
you should say "food."

Hold your tongue, you silly goose!

Food is essential
to sustain the inner man.

Nobody seems to understand
that... but me.

Ah, the dear boy kept his word.
What have we here?

It is not one of the extras
you ordered, Dr. Smith.

However, it is an extra propulsion unit
from the Jupiter 2 surplus stock.

"With the compliments of the Jupiter 2.

Bon voyage."

- Is this one of Will's jokes?
- Negative.

The handwriting indicates that
the message came from Major West.

[ Laughing ]

What do you find so funny,
you hardware hyena?

Major West is calling your bluff,
Dr. Smith.

He believed you meant it.
I think that is very funny.

- [ Laughing ]
- Silence, you sniggering cinder box!

Avast there,
ye scheming shore vermin!

Mr. Spindlelegs,
what have you done with that lad?

- If you mean Will Robinson, General--
- General?

I'm an Admiral of the Imperial Fleet,
you bumbling ignoramus.

Where is he?

Well, you see, Your Worship...

my metallic friend will explain all.

Begging the admiral's pardon, sir,
but if my senses serve me correctly...

Will Robinson is now safe and sound
in the bosom of his family.

Most regrettable.

I could have made a man out of him
instead of a mollycoddle...

drowned with mother love.

Ah! You seem to have shown some
resourcefulness this morning, Mr. Spindlelegs.

This power unit will serve
my purpose admirably.

You may take it aboard.

But I had nothing
to do with it, sir.

Modesty ill becomes a man of your
staggering vanity, Mr. Spindlelegs.

Take it aboard! We shall cast off
the moment it's installed.

"We," sir?

You seem to be afflicted
by some unwarranted fears...

for your safety.

Am I to understand that you
would prefer not to sail...

with Admiral Zahrk?

- I would prefer not to sail with anyone, sir.
- Indeed?

It seems to me I distinctly remember
your telling the lad...

that you intended
to sail in my ship.

Now, hoist the engine aboard, sir...

- and don't try my patience any further!
- [ Bell Clangs ]

Yes, Your Worship.
Yes, indeed, Your Worship.

Well, you heard what he said.

- Hoist it aboard.
- He said for you to hoist it aboard.

You know very well that my condition
does not warrant such manual labor.

- That does not compute.
- Compute, my foot!

You, down there!
Didn't you hear what I said?

Hoist it aboard!

Yes, Your Worship. Aye, aye, sir!
[ Yelling ]

Hi, Admiral.
Have you seen Dr. Smith this morning?

Hi, Admiral.
Have you seen Dr. Smith this morning?

Good morning, boy.
Climb the rigging.

- I just want to know if you've seen Dr. Smith.
- Didn't you hear what I said?

Climb the rigging.

Dr. Smith? Are you in there?

Dr. Smith.

Dr. Smith, are you in there?

Gee! Hey, what are you doing?

[ Will Grunting ]

And now we are ready
for takeoff, Mr. Kidnoh!

I'm on my way!

You'll rue the day
you ever crossed me...

Mr. Kidnoh!

Mom! Dad!

I just heard
that alien spaceship taking off.

Yes, we're looking at it right here.

I can't understand it. Dr. Smith couldn't
have gotten that propulsion unit to work.

Will said that propulsion unit
was all Admiral Zahrk needed.

Where's Will now?

He was afraid the admiral
would shanghai Dr. Smith...

so he went out there to warn him.

You've just gotta take us back, sir.

You could drop us off and then
go wherever you wanted to.

There, there, laddie.
Just a momentary pang of homesickness.

Quite understandable.

My, you're a plucky one,
returning here...

but I shall expect you to write to your
mother once a week while we're away.

Couldn't resist the great adventure
with Admiral Zahrk, could you, now?

[ Coughing, Laughing ]
Ohh!

Fess up, laddie!
Space is in your blood, as it is in mine.

I just came back to get Dr. Smith.

Of course, of course.

- Quartermaster!
- Aye, aye, sir.

We shall bear on Zubenelgenubi,
Quartermaster.

Zubenelgenubi it is.

Otherwise known as
the southern claw of a scorpion.

Knowledgeable little rascal,
aren't you?

Go below!

- Aye, aye, sir.
- [ Bell Clangs ]

Take the wheel, lad.

Go on, take the wheel.
It won't bite you.

- [ Sighs ]
- That's a good lad.

It's good to have somebody sturdy
and dependable by my side.

Where are we?

I think that's Zubenelgenubi
to the starboard bow, sir.

Ah, so it is.

Hard aport to Miaplacidus.

Hard aport, lad!

There.

- That's a good lad, Midshipman Robinson.
- Midshipman?

Admiral Zahrk is sufficiently impressed with
your abilities to reward them as they deserve.

Sail with Zahrk, and you'll be
first mate in a year or two.

We'll run a splendid ship together,
you and I, Midshipman.

The pride of the fleet
when we sail into our home port...

with Mr. Kidnoh's head hanging
from the highest yardarm!

[ Laughing ]

Ohh. However, never make
the mistake of assuming...

that my liking for you will excuse
a dereliction of duty, Midshipman.

Discipline will always come first
with me, as it always has.

My father's like that
when we're in space.

No one is like Admiral Zahrk,
Midshipman Robinson.

No one!
[ Snorting ]

[ Inhales, Sneezes ]

Steady as she goes!

Steady as she goes it is, sir.

There's a good lad.

Dad?

Yeah?

Hey, Dad, look at this.

That may be the ship's log.

It could give us a clue to their
whereabouts if I could decode it.

Let's get back to the ship.

It's your watch, Robot.

When there is work to be done
to be done...

a sailor's lot is not a happy one.

Oh, be gone!
[ Groaning ]

Oh, William,
he's had me swabbing decks...

scrubbing bulkheads,
polishing brass.

All ignominious tasks
for a man of my quality.

I would not be in this predicament if
your family hadn't sent me to Coventry.

None of us would be
in this predicament...

if you hadn't made threats
you weren't going to keep.

Be that as it may,
we must find some way...

of making him take you back
to your sorrowing family...

regardless of what
may happen to me.

Well, I tried to talk to him, but he's got
his mind fixed on just one destination...

and he knows enough
about navigation to get us there.

Do you suppose he knows enough about
navigation to get us back to Earth, William?

I guess so, but I don't think
it would fit in with his plans.

One can but try. I must make myself
presentable before I speak to him.

Ah, yes.
What have we here?

I think this might
just do the trick.

Now, come along.

Let's try the next page.

[ Zahrk's Voice ]
Mutiny!

In the dead of night, I was seized
and cast adrift in a leaky space cutter...

by order of my thieving dog
of a mate, Mr. Kidnoh!

But I have outwitted him.

Though he be a hundred
light-years away...

I will never give up the pursuit.

With the crew which I have assembled
on this uncharted planet...

the chase is on!

Death to all mutineers!

Well, at least we know why he came here
and what he's doing.

Yeah, a ragtag and a bobtail crew
on a leaky space cutter.

And with our propulsion unit.

Say, that, uh, unit-- that unit
had magnetic drive, didn't it?

Yeah. Meaning it could run forever
on a minimum of fuel.

- Yeah, I know, but--
- But what, John?

Listen, let me get this more clear
in my mind. Then I'll tell you about it.

Don, I'm gonna need a lot of help.

I don't know who I hate more,
Smith or myself.

Aah! Who are you?

Top of the evening to you. Everything
below is scrubbed and shipshape, sir.

[ Grumbling ]

Mr. Kidnoh!

Mr. Kidnoh...

you mutinous dog!

What have you done with my ship?

Answer me before I plunge my cutlass
into your gizzard!

Well, sir, dear, sir, my name is Smith,
Dr. Zachary Smith.

I was press-ganged, remember?

Aah.

Mr. Spindlelegs.

What are you doing on my bridge?

I came up to help, sir.
I can be of great assistance to you, sir.

Assistance?

Why, you clumsy swab...

your very presence
on board this ship...

is an insult to navy tradition!

[ Gasps ]
But I'm an old space-hand. Indeed, I am.

I've sailed many a craft in this deep.

I've sailed four-stackers,
twin-riggers, pancakers.

You name them, Admiral.
I've sailed them all.

Now you'd like to see my papers,
wouldn't you? I have them right here.

Or possibly here. Oh, dear.
Ah, yes, I remember.

I left them in my old space chest
back on Earth.

Perhaps we could make a brief stop there
until I join you officially...

if you would be kind enough
to appoint me quartermaster.

You have a glib tongue,
Mr. Spindlelegs.

I am sincere, sir.

[ Grunts, Snorting ]

[ Inhaling, Sneezes ]

Lock on Fontax, Quartermaster!

Begging your pardon, sir,
but a lock on Fontax...

will take us directly into the path--

Are you presuming to navigate my ship,
Quartermaster?

Lock on Fontax immediately!

Lock on Fontax it is, sir.

A shortcut to Earth, sir?

A shortcut to Mr. Kidnoh...

you slimy-tongued cuttlefish!

And when I catch up with him...

the mutinous dog...

and his pack of filthy
cutthroat scavengers...

there'll be no vengeance
in all the universe...

to match mine!

[ Coughing ]

- [ Groans ]
- Aren't you well, sir?

Not recently.

I'll dance a hornpipe
to the rhythm of their cries...

Mr. Spindlelegs.

Have you danced today,
Mr. Spindlelegs?

- Danced, sir?
- Yes, danced, blast ya!

It's a standing order for my crew!

Clears the head, tones the muscles...

stimulates the nerves!

Come on.

Dance, Mr. Spindlelegs!
Dance!

- ## [ Upbeat ]
- Faster! Faster!

Oh, dear. Couldn't you play
a simple waltz, sir?

- No. Faster!
- Oh, dear! I can't move faster!

Faster! Blast ya!

Faster! Faster!

Riptide of solar fire
on the port bow, sir.

[ Screaming ]

Ah, that did it.
Steady as she goes.

Hoist the hurricane signal,
Mr. Spindlelegs.

I believe an opportunity to test
our mettle is close at hand.

Aye, aye, sir. Oh, dear.

Hoist the--
whatever it was he said.

What are the orders, sir?

We shall drive through
at full power, of course.

Full power ahead!

[ Screams ]

- Faster!
- [ Dr. Smith Gasps ]

- [ Gasps ]
- What's going on here? Where are we?

Faster, faster, you blithering idiot!

He's headed straight for that solar fire.
We'll all be melted away!

Already I can feel my bones softening!
[ Screams ]

Sir. I mean--

Maybe we should alter our course a little.
It's gettin' awfully hot.

Alter my course? Are you assuming
that I don't know what I'm about?

- Not exactly, sir, but--
- Midshipman Robinson!

Your standing in the roster
of the officer class...

is something below that of the lowliest
apprentice in the forecastle.

We are driving through,
Midshipman Robinson.

[ Snorting, Gasping, Sneezing ]

This day will be remembered...

to our eternal glory!

- He's like a wild man.
- [ Gasps ]

Death to the mutinous dogs!

Shh. Come.

[ Bell Ringing ]

Did it again.

Steady as she goes.
Full speed ahead.

[ Raspy Voice ]
Steady as she goes it is.

Full speed ahead, sir.

You lost your voice, Quartermaster.

My computers are awfully dry, sir.

They'll be a good deal drier
before this day is done.

As soon as we've found the guns,
I'll engage him in amusing conversation...

while you thrust a gun into
the small of his back, at which point--

I don't know, Dr. Smith.

What's all this confounded muttering?

Speak up, sir!

I was just telling the midshipman how much
I admire your superb navigation, sir.

Blather and bilgewater,
Mr. Spindlelegs!

Go below and holystone the deck.

I want it scrubbed until it gleams!

At a terrible time like this, sir?

I should be a poor master
if I allowed a mere solar fire...

to interrupt my ship discipline!

Go below, Mr. Spindlelegs!

- That is an order!
- [ Gasps ]

Yes, indeed, Admiral!

Quartermaster!

- Yes, sir.
- I've just set the wheel to automatic control.

- Keep an eye on that fellow. I don't trust him.
- Aye, aye, sir.

- Midshipman!
- Aye, sir!

You may set the table
for the captain's mess.

[ Inhales, Sneezes ]

Aye, aye, sir.

There's no question about it, old friend.
We must take action.

I am familiar with the expression...

but not with its significance
in this instance.

We're going to seize command
of the ship.

It will be your duty to stand guard over
the admiral while Will and I take the controls.

Negative.
I am not programmed for mutiny.

You prefer to be reduced to a heap
of molten tin, you nervous ninny?

I am not nervous. You are.

I have complete faith
in the admiral's navigational skill.

Besides, I am the quartermaster.

So that's how it is,
you silver-plated sellout.

Very well.
Will and I will have to go it alone.

Go away and holystone the deck,
Mr. Spindlelegs.

Quartermasters do not talk
to ordinary swabbies.

Swabbies, indeed!

I'll pay you back for this,
you fugitive from a scrap heap!

[ Shouts, Screams ]

There. I think we're ready
to give it a whirl.

Not until you tell me
what you're going to do, I hope.

The propulsion unit on Zahrk's cutter
is powered by magnetic drive.

So's this, only in reverse.

So far, I understand... I think.

When reverse or negative power
is applied...

it'll attract any vehicle powered
by positive magnetic drive.

- Including Zahrk's cutter?
- That's the one we're interested in.

- Ready?
- Power on.

Maureen, get on the scope.
Report anything you see.

All right. Girls, turn on
the radar power unit.

Ready for beam?

Ready.

Ahh. Ahem.

[ Gasps ]

Where's my dinner, boy?

That's all I could find, sir.

Oh, well. Short rations
are nothing new to me, boy.

Huh.

[ Grunts, Screams ]

Oh!

Ah! There.

[ Sighs ]
Man has the will to survive.

When the will to live
is uppermost in his mind...

that's more important
than thirst or hunger.

[ Growls, Howls In Pain ]

[ Sighs ]
Mr. Kidnoh...

didn't think of that!

Sir, I don't mean to be disrespectful
or anything...

and I know how you feel about manners,
but not everybody feels the same way you do.

Explain yourself, boy.

Well, when a crew thinks you're
running 'em into danger, they get ideas.

[ Yelling ]
Ideas?

If you could just change our course
so we could go around the solar fire--

Avast there, boy!
[ Groaning ]

Our bearing is Fontax,
solar fire or no solar fire!

Fontax, boy, is Mr. Kidnoh's
wretched hiding place...

and it's there that I'm going
to surprise that mutinous hound...

and I expect my crew
to be loyal to the end!

To the end!

- Aye, aye, sir.
- There, boy. Be of good cheer.

I've undertaken to protect you,
and protect you I will.

We shall find some goat cheese
in the pantry locker, boy.

Oh, yes.

There we are!

Aah, drat!

There's nothing in the locker
but cobwebs, sir.

[ Yelling ]
Cobwebs?

Where is my goat cheese, boy?

I don't think there's been any goat cheese
in that locker for years, sir.

Silence, you impertinent pup!

Mr. Kidnoh!

Mr. Kidnoh!

Mr. Kidnoh's on Fontax, remember?

Don't make it necessary
for me to come to you...

Mr. Kidnoh!

All right! I warned you!

Midshipman!

[ Bell Clangs ]

Mr. Kidnoh!

Stand to attention, Mr. Kidnoh!

My pantry locker,
Mr. Kidnoh, is empty.

My name is Smith, sir, although I do
answer to Spindlelegs under duress.

It's too late to attempt the use
of an alias, Mr. Kidnoh.

Now, Mr. Kidnoh...

who stole my goat cheese?

- Surely you don't think it was I?
- Think, Mr. Kidnoh?

Why, you pilfering scoundrel...

I know you've been
at my goat cheese...

my emergency rations!

Blast your thieving hide!

- I'm charging you with grand theft in space.
- Oh, no, sir!

Put him in irons, Midshipman,
and throw him in the box.

You're making a mistake, sir.
Dr. Smith's not Mr. Kidnoh.

Midshipman, do your duty
or I'll throw you overboard...

and let you hang in space...

until you burst your seams!

Yes, Midshipman. Do your duty.

You'll find a gun in the gun locker.

Forgive me, sir. The young man really
has very little experience in guard duty.

I don't mind at all his learning on me.

Go ahead, my boy. Get the gun.

He's really a charming young man.
Don't you think so?

- A charming young man.
- I don't really want to do this, Admiral!

You're under arrest. We are seizing
your ship. Point the gun at him, William!

Did I hear you right,
Mr. Spindlelegs?

Did I hear you say that I,
Admiral Zahrk...

was under arrest?

Be sure you have him covered
before I answer that!

- You mutinous dog!
- Warning! Warning!

The ship is going out of control.

[ Screams ]

It's coming closer, John.

- Let me know the minute it changes course.
- All right, dear.

- Increase the power two points.
- Roger.

[ Engine Powering Down ]

[ Engine Powering Up ]

It worked.
We reversed their course.

We need more power!

We're at full power now, sir.

However, our course
is now 180 degrees off.

In other words,
we are flying backwards, Admiral.

Backwards?

Now's your chance.
Put the gun in the small of his back.

I don't know, Dr. Smith.
He's got enough problems of his own.

Besides, I thought you were gonna
engage him in amusing conversation...

before I did anything like that.

That's out of the question, now that I've told
him we intend to seize command of his ship.

In that case,
maybe you'd better handle the gun.

What's Miaplacidus doing out there,
Quartermaster?

Begging your pardon, sir...

but we are going back
the way we came.

Zubenelgenubi coming up
on the port bow, sir.

Stay close beside me, William.

I think we'd better forget
this whole thing, Dr. Smith.

And have him toss me out
into space for mutiny?

Unidentified planet dead ahead, sir!

Aye, Quartermaster.

Ah, Mr. Spindlelegs.

The hand of fate seems
to be smiling upon us.

I believe that we have
caught up with Mr. Kidnoh...

and his pack of mutinous scoundrels.

Ah, I see you're already
armed for a fray.

That's strange how you
remind me of Mr. Kidnoh.

I could have sworn that I heard you
use his very same words...

to the effect that you were
taking over command of my ship.

I, sir? Oh, no, sir!

[ Grumbles ] Half speed ahead,
Quartermaster. Stand by to orbit.

Half speed ahead,
stand by to orbit it is, sir.

You, down there!

I have you clear in my sights,
you mutinous dogs!

Mr. Kidnoh, show yourself!

Show yourself,
you sniveling scoundrel...

or I'll blow you
and your murderous gang...

to kingdom come!

- Do you hear me?
- Get the force field going.

Force field's on.

Defy me, will you,
you mutinous swine?

Man the missile gun,
Midshipman Robinson.

- Ready, aim--
- Please, Admiral, listen to me.

That's my family down there.
Take another look.

Are you suggesting that I don't know
Kidnoh and his gang when I see them?

Yes, sir, I am.
You could be wrong.

You thought Dr. Smith
was Mr. Kidnoh for a while.

- Yes, you did!
- You may fire when ready, Midshipman.

I'm sorry, sir,
but I'm not going to.

Why, you insolent pup! Ohh!

- I'll take over the wheel, Robot.
- Aye, aye.

Now we shall fire the gun.
Ready?

Fire!

Steady as she goes!

Ready? Fire!

Steady, I say!

Ready? Fire!

Stop that, you traitor.
You're making me miss my target.

Begging your pardon, sir, but the ship
is now within the planet's gravity field.

Stand by for landing.

Drat!

[ John ]
Don, get the guns.

Looks as if Admiral Zahrk has changed his mind
about blowing us all to kingdom come.

- He'd rather take us alive.
- Are we gonna wait for him to come to us?

No, I think it's better
that Don and I go to him.

- Be careful, John.
- All right.

[ John ]
Will!

- Hi, Dad.
- Are you all right?

- Sure, I guess so.
- I took excellent care of him, Professor.

Offhand I'd say he took excellent care
of you. Say, what happened?

When Admiral Zahrk realized that you
weren't Mr. Kidnoh, he didn't want to stay.

- He was in a real big hurry to catch him.
- I guess so.

"Though he be a hundred light-years away,
I will never give up the pursuit."

I sure would like to have met him.
What was he like?

Mr. Kidnoh,
who stole my goat cheese?

Blast your thieving hide!

Mr. Kidnoh!

Steady as she goes, Quartermaster!

Okay, I get the picture.

Oh, batten your bubble!

All right, young thespians, we all have
our parts. Now let us rehearse.

Places, please.
Assume your positions.

Lovely. You may begin, Penny.

"I am Freya. I love--"

Don't mumble, dear. Recite the lines
trippingly on the tongue.

And don't slouch, dear.
Head and chest proud.

Your eye on the balcony railing
gives a natural poise to the head.

[ Gasps ]
Oh, dear.

- Start again.
- Yes, Dr. Smith.

"I am Freya.
I love all things of beauty--

"music, spring, flowers.

"I love the clouds in the sky...

"the birds on high,
the silver fishes below...

under the ground,
all the worms aglow."

Deathless prose.

"I love--"

Oh, why do I have to be Freya,
Dr. Smith?

I've only got four lines.
Why can't I be Norse god Odin?

- For the simple reason that Odin was a man.
- Yeah, I'm gonna be Odin.

You will play the part
that I've assigned to you, William.

Odin, the mythological god
of Valhalla...

was most glorious, most great.

- Naturally, it follows that I should play that part.
- Naturally.

All these lovely long speeches.
I shall be magnificent.

Of course.
You've written them all for yourself.

Let's not quibble, my dears.
"The play's the thing."

Places, please.

[ Thunderclap ]

We better get back to the Jupiter.
That looks like a cosmic storm.

Of course it's a storm.
I wrote it into the third act.

We're not playacting now!
That's a real storm!

- What?
- Hurry up, Dr. Smith!

Maybe Odin's trying to prove
that you're all wet.

All wet indeed, young upstart.

I'll have you know I'm a match for Odin
or any of the other mythological gods.

- [ Thunderclap ]
- No, I really didn't mean that.

Let's not be hasty up there.

If I've said anything
to offend anyone, I'm sorry.

Understand that this is only playacting
of the most harmless sort.

- [ Thunderclaps Continue ]
- Come on, Dr. Smith!

[ Screams ]

Oh, good heavens!

Giant hands--
they're coming for me!

[ Screaming ]
Oh, no!

Oh, take them away!

[ Screaming ]

- Take them off, Dr. Smith!
- I can't, I can't! They're pulling me apart!

[ Screaming ]