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1
00:00:05,166 --> 00:00:06,400
(gun cocks)
2
00:00:06,467 --> 00:00:09,403
MAN: (echoing laughter)
3
00:00:09,470 --> 00:00:12,406
(tense music)
4
00:00:12,473 --> 00:00:16,843
* *
5
00:00:16,910 --> 00:00:19,780
(laughter continues)
6
00:00:20,747 --> 00:00:23,150
Just give it up, Fabian.
7
00:00:23,184 --> 00:00:25,952
MAN: (echoing laughter)
8
00:00:26,019 --> 00:00:32,926
* *
9
00:00:34,361 --> 00:00:36,530
(laughter continues)
10
00:00:36,597 --> 00:00:38,031
-(gunshot blasts)
-Ow!
11
00:00:38,099 --> 00:00:39,433
-Aww, man.
-(bell dings)
12
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,702
(cheers and applause)
13
00:00:41,802 --> 00:00:43,370
Dang it.
This was my year
14
00:00:43,470 --> 00:00:45,005
for the Agent Skills
Competition.
15
00:00:45,038 --> 00:00:47,007
I put it on my vision board
and everything.
16
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,543
-Next to the sunset?
-Above the sunset.
17
00:00:49,643 --> 00:00:51,545
Wow. I can't believe
that didn't work.
18
00:00:51,612 --> 00:00:53,547
Well, maybe next time--
and I know this sounds crazy--
19
00:00:53,647 --> 00:00:55,116
you could try not sucking.
20
00:00:55,182 --> 00:00:57,284
Well, you don't have to be
a dick about it.
21
00:00:57,351 --> 00:00:58,485
Have to? No.
22
00:00:58,552 --> 00:00:59,986
But then I wouldn't
be able to tell you
23
00:01:00,053 --> 00:01:01,388
that the Treaty of Versailles
called,
24
00:01:01,488 --> 00:01:03,557
and it wants its total failure
to achieve any
25
00:01:03,657 --> 00:01:05,058
of its stated goals back.
26
00:01:05,126 --> 00:01:06,660
Also, it's sorry about Europe.
27
00:01:06,727 --> 00:01:09,963
Well, if you're so great,
why is your intel so bad?
28
00:01:10,030 --> 00:01:11,665
My name's not Fabian.
29
00:01:11,732 --> 00:01:13,667
Oh, I know that.
That's my boss's name.
30
00:01:13,734 --> 00:01:15,402
Yelling it gets me in the mood
to shoot people
31
00:01:15,502 --> 00:01:16,903
that I pretend are him.
32
00:01:16,970 --> 00:01:18,639
-Well, you got lucky.
-Sure.
33
00:01:18,705 --> 00:01:20,407
Though, in a mirror maze,
maybe consider
34
00:01:20,474 --> 00:01:22,909
not putting on a gallon
of cologne that smells like...
35
00:01:23,009 --> 00:01:25,412
(sniffs) Gasoline
and decaying hobo foot.
36
00:01:25,512 --> 00:01:26,513
(gun cocks)
37
00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:27,814
Ow.
38
00:01:27,881 --> 00:01:31,518
-Now what was that for?
-You're still wearing it.
39
00:01:31,585 --> 00:01:34,521
(main title theme)
40
00:01:34,588 --> 00:01:41,495
* *
41
00:01:58,379 --> 00:02:05,286
*
42
00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:12,359
Hello, Clandesti-con,
43
00:02:12,426 --> 00:02:14,961
where spying meets
sweaty buffet food.
44
00:02:15,028 --> 00:02:16,730
Who wants a brochure for IIA,
45
00:02:16,797 --> 00:02:19,400
the soulless company
that is making us do this?
46
00:02:19,466 --> 00:02:21,902
Come on, Lana.
Let's have some fun with it.
47
00:02:21,968 --> 00:02:23,704
We'll take these lemons
and make--
48
00:02:23,770 --> 00:02:26,072
Concentrated citric acid
to spray in our own eyes?
49
00:02:26,139 --> 00:02:27,474
I have some in my purse
if you need it.
50
00:02:27,574 --> 00:02:30,043
This isn't so bad.
When I temped at IIA,
51
00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:32,078
they were trying
to increase productivity,
52
00:02:32,145 --> 00:02:34,648
so they docked your pay if you
peed more than twice a day.
53
00:02:34,748 --> 00:02:36,950
Ugh. I hate this company.
54
00:02:36,983 --> 00:02:39,386
Nice job in the competition,
Archer.
55
00:02:39,453 --> 00:02:42,789
Though calling your opponent
"Fabian" raised eyebrows.
56
00:02:42,823 --> 00:02:44,325
These two specifically.
57
00:02:44,391 --> 00:02:46,327
Well, despite the fact
that you're praising me,
58
00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:47,761
which makes it nearly
impossible for me
59
00:02:47,828 --> 00:02:50,564
to not like you, I still
definitely wanna murder you.
60
00:02:50,631 --> 00:02:52,999
Today is a crucial day
for all of you.
61
00:02:53,099 --> 00:02:54,835
We are launching The Agency
62
00:02:54,935 --> 00:02:58,305
as a distinct boutique branch
of IIA.
63
00:02:58,339 --> 00:02:59,840
Wait, really?
We'll have autonomy?
64
00:02:59,906 --> 00:03:03,777
Yes. Exactly as much autonomy
as Kermit the Frog.
65
00:03:03,844 --> 00:03:06,313
Yo, you think Miss Piggy
is abusing him?
66
00:03:06,347 --> 00:03:08,114
I know she plays rough, but--
67
00:03:08,181 --> 00:03:09,783
I get the feeling
he enjoys it.
68
00:03:09,850 --> 00:03:12,018
Who wouldn't?
Roughed up by a pig in jewelry.
69
00:03:12,118 --> 00:03:14,921
No. I mean you'll be
a thin piece of fabric
70
00:03:14,988 --> 00:03:16,857
with my hand up your ass.
71
00:03:16,957 --> 00:03:18,592
Where's your sense of wonder?
72
00:03:18,659 --> 00:03:22,463
IIA represents 60%
of private spying,
73
00:03:22,529 --> 00:03:25,198
but some clients
are too mired in the past.
74
00:03:25,299 --> 00:03:28,535
They want a personal touch.
Authenticity.
75
00:03:28,635 --> 00:03:30,771
That's what you lot are for--
to fake that.
76
00:03:30,837 --> 00:03:33,874
So pretend we're independent
to make IIA more successful
77
00:03:33,974 --> 00:03:36,377
and allow you
to ruthlessly exploit us.
78
00:03:36,443 --> 00:03:38,612
Welcome to the concept
of a job.
79
00:03:38,679 --> 00:03:42,215
Now, I'm giving the keynote
for the conference later today:
80
00:03:42,283 --> 00:03:45,319
a speech entitled
"Leadership as a Network."
81
00:03:45,386 --> 00:03:47,187
You can't just say
"noun as a different noun"
82
00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:48,555
and pretend
that it means something.
83
00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:51,792
Sure I can. I call it
"language as a weapon."
84
00:03:51,858 --> 00:03:53,360
Now, Archer, you need to win
85
00:03:53,394 --> 00:03:54,995
the Agent Skills Competition
86
00:03:55,061 --> 00:03:57,564
if we're going to launch
The Agency properly.
87
00:03:57,664 --> 00:03:59,733
By the way,
the board hates the idea.
88
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,535
They'd rather you were
completely broken up
89
00:04:01,568 --> 00:04:03,036
and redistributed.
90
00:04:03,069 --> 00:04:05,339
So, Archer,
our fate is in your hands.
91
00:04:05,406 --> 00:04:07,974
-Well, sayonara, guys.
-Oh, boy.
92
00:04:08,041 --> 00:04:10,010
You know what?
I'll be honest with you.
93
00:04:10,076 --> 00:04:13,414
That's a responsibility
I take very seriously.
94
00:04:15,982 --> 00:04:18,151
Round of Glengoolie Blues,
please.
95
00:04:19,185 --> 00:04:20,321
I'm looking for one of you
96
00:04:20,387 --> 00:04:22,323
to take the mantle
of leadership.
97
00:04:22,389 --> 00:04:25,191
Under me, of course.
So dot, dot, dot.
98
00:04:25,258 --> 00:04:27,093
Are the dots supposed
to make me love stickers?
99
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,162
Damn it! I should be in
the competition with Archer!
100
00:04:29,229 --> 00:04:31,432
No, Lana. I need you here,
101
00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:32,599
front and center.
102
00:04:32,699 --> 00:04:34,100
And don't be afraid
to get out there
103
00:04:34,167 --> 00:04:36,102
and really be diverse.
104
00:04:36,202 --> 00:04:38,271
Remember, a personal touch.
105
00:04:38,372 --> 00:04:39,840
-(smacks)
-You heard him, sweetheart.
106
00:04:39,906 --> 00:04:41,174
A personal touch.
107
00:04:41,241 --> 00:04:42,943
Hey, would you like
some stickers?
108
00:04:43,043 --> 00:04:45,078
-They're edible.
-They don't look edible.
109
00:04:45,111 --> 00:04:47,180
Anything's edible
if you try hard enough.
110
00:04:47,247 --> 00:04:49,383
-(grunting)
-Aww, lucky.
111
00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:51,051
Should we do something?
112
00:04:51,117 --> 00:04:53,119
Like make popcorn? Or what?
113
00:04:53,219 --> 00:04:55,922
-(client gurgles)
-Now where is she going?
114
00:04:55,956 --> 00:04:58,291
-(grunting)
-(bell dings)
115
00:04:58,359 --> 00:05:00,761
I think you got me.
116
00:05:00,794 --> 00:05:03,464
See? You just get me.
I do feel a responsibility
117
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,031
to keep my mother's legacy
alive,
118
00:05:05,098 --> 00:05:07,768
but on the other hand, now I
don't have to worry about being
119
00:05:07,801 --> 00:05:10,136
yelled at by the one person
in the world who scares me.
120
00:05:10,236 --> 00:05:13,907
So do I go with responsibility,
or do I go balls to the wall?
121
00:05:13,974 --> 00:05:15,809
Or, more accurately,
balls to the wall
122
00:05:15,909 --> 00:05:18,144
then through that wall
into an adjoining wall
123
00:05:18,211 --> 00:05:19,546
that's probably load-bearing.
124
00:05:19,613 --> 00:05:22,315
(jazz music playing)
125
00:05:22,416 --> 00:05:24,818
So...which is it?
126
00:05:24,885 --> 00:05:26,653
(exhales)
127
00:05:26,753 --> 00:05:28,054
I'm thinking.
128
00:05:28,121 --> 00:05:29,222
(cheers and applause)
129
00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:30,957
ROBERT: I thought that was you,
Lana.
130
00:05:30,991 --> 00:05:33,093
-Finally.
-Robert? What the hell?
131
00:05:33,159 --> 00:05:34,961
Did you just fly
all the way to Dubai
132
00:05:34,995 --> 00:05:37,263
to hear me say,
"Talk to my divorce lawyer"?
133
00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:39,666
Yes. And was on the way
to Abu Dhabi.
134
00:05:39,766 --> 00:05:42,503
Now, I get that I'm the one
who's mostly at fault here--
135
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,838
-Mostly?
-But you aren't blameless.
136
00:05:44,938 --> 00:05:47,073
And we need to think about
what's best for AJ.
137
00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:49,342
Oh-ho-ho. Is that
why you nailed that skank?
138
00:05:49,410 --> 00:05:51,912
For AJ? What, were you looking
for a parenting book
139
00:05:51,978 --> 00:05:53,179
between her piss flaps?
140
00:05:53,246 --> 00:05:55,416
No. That's not where
they keep those.
141
00:05:55,482 --> 00:05:56,517
What are you even
worried about?
142
00:05:56,583 --> 00:05:57,651
We signed a prenup.
143
00:05:57,684 --> 00:05:59,520
Well, there is the issue
of custody.
144
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,021
Excuse me?
145
00:06:01,121 --> 00:06:02,589
I'm just being realistic.
146
00:06:02,656 --> 00:06:04,858
It was your job
that got AJ kidnapped.
147
00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:08,094
To a judge, that sounds
like an unsafe environment.
148
00:06:08,161 --> 00:06:09,796
And if they put AJ
on the stand,
149
00:06:09,863 --> 00:06:13,033
are you 100% sure
she chooses you?
150
00:06:13,133 --> 00:06:14,868
Why do you have teeth marks
on your elbow?
151
00:06:14,968 --> 00:06:17,037
I'll show you.
Do you like stickers?
152
00:06:17,137 --> 00:06:19,205
I'm sensing you need space.
153
00:06:20,273 --> 00:06:21,442
-What?
-Shouldn't you be
154
00:06:21,508 --> 00:06:22,543
back at the booth?
155
00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:24,645
No, because what I do
is kick ass.
156
00:06:24,711 --> 00:06:26,346
And I should be
in the competition
157
00:06:26,379 --> 00:06:29,315
so I can take over
when Archer screws up.
158
00:06:29,382 --> 00:06:32,553
Come, now. Archer is reliable
when he needs to be.
159
00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,621
He's resting right now
for his next round.
160
00:06:34,688 --> 00:06:37,791
Uh, did he specify
the type of round?
161
00:06:37,858 --> 00:06:39,059
ARCHER: Whoo-hoo!
162
00:06:39,159 --> 00:06:40,494
(swallowing)
163
00:06:40,561 --> 00:06:43,329
(laughs)
164
00:06:43,396 --> 00:06:46,232
I'm not totally convinced
that's a downside.
165
00:06:46,299 --> 00:06:50,403
It's like his liver absorbs
alcohol and excretes luck.
166
00:06:50,471 --> 00:06:53,139
Having said that, you can stay
in the competition.
167
00:06:53,206 --> 00:06:54,808
Thank you.
I was going to anyway,
168
00:06:54,875 --> 00:06:56,042
you absolute turd.
169
00:06:56,076 --> 00:06:57,911
But thank you.
170
00:06:57,978 --> 00:06:59,846
ARCHER: The competition
is basically a formality.
171
00:06:59,913 --> 00:07:02,315
I'm generally considered
the world's greatest spy.
172
00:07:02,382 --> 00:07:04,651
Yes. You absolutely were.
173
00:07:04,718 --> 00:07:07,721
You know, I used to be a spy
just like you.
174
00:07:07,754 --> 00:07:10,023
Oh, who'd you spy for,
the Etruscans?
175
00:07:10,090 --> 00:07:11,424
Hmm. Indeed.
176
00:07:11,492 --> 00:07:14,427
In this biz, one minute,
you're the greatest thing
177
00:07:14,495 --> 00:07:16,396
since the 3:00 p.m.
dinner special,
178
00:07:16,429 --> 00:07:18,932
and the next,
dog shit on a bun.
179
00:07:18,999 --> 00:07:22,102
My advice?
Buy mustard, lad.
180
00:07:22,202 --> 00:07:24,738
Why would I buy mustard
to eat myself?
181
00:07:24,771 --> 00:07:27,373
So you think about that.
182
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,442
Ugh. Why are you
in such a great mood?
183
00:07:29,543 --> 00:07:31,878
Why don't you ask your face?
(laughs)
184
00:07:31,945 --> 00:07:34,615
My face says Robert's
gonna fight for custody of AJ.
185
00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:35,916
-Um, can he do that?
-(phone beeps)
186
00:07:35,949 --> 00:07:37,217
Well, when you have
that much money,
187
00:07:37,283 --> 00:07:38,885
turns out you can pretty much
do anything.
188
00:07:38,952 --> 00:07:40,186
Why is AJ not picking up?
189
00:07:40,253 --> 00:07:42,122
A kid not picking up
a phone call?
190
00:07:42,222 --> 00:07:44,558
Weird.
Did you try her telegraph?
191
00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:47,260
Or lighting the signal fires
of Gondor?
192
00:07:47,293 --> 00:07:50,196
(sighs) Why is everything
so complicated?
193
00:07:50,263 --> 00:07:52,699
Because you're divorcing one
of the world's richest men-
194
00:07:52,766 --> 00:07:55,536
slash-ex-boss who wants custody
of the daughter you had
195
00:07:55,602 --> 00:07:57,804
-with a different coworker.
-Well, sure, but--
196
00:07:57,904 --> 00:07:59,773
All while you work
for a corporate behemoth
197
00:07:59,806 --> 00:08:01,808
that seems to be trying
to take over the world.
198
00:08:01,875 --> 00:08:04,377
Yes. All of that. I guess.
199
00:08:04,444 --> 00:08:07,213
Well, I discovered the answer
to all those problems, Lana.
200
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,082
It's simple, it's easy,
201
00:08:09,149 --> 00:08:12,152
and it's right at the bottom
of this glass.
202
00:08:12,218 --> 00:08:13,419
(clink)
203
00:08:13,486 --> 00:08:15,455
Well, it wasn't at the bottom
of that one,
204
00:08:15,488 --> 00:08:17,658
But I'm no quitter.
205
00:08:17,724 --> 00:08:19,926
Behold, an audio bug.
206
00:08:19,993 --> 00:08:22,228
Ooh.
207
00:08:22,295 --> 00:08:26,166
And that's all it does.
The wonders of IIA science.
208
00:08:26,266 --> 00:08:28,835
A microphone.
Truly groundbreaking--
209
00:08:28,935 --> 00:08:30,971
for 1876.
210
00:08:31,004 --> 00:08:33,239
Hey, what's that new one
you're working on called?
211
00:08:33,306 --> 00:08:35,676
-The wheel?
-(both laugh)
212
00:08:35,776 --> 00:08:36,943
DR. ZOLA: Got 'em good, Ikari.
213
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:38,845
I am working on something
called The Wheel!
214
00:08:38,945 --> 00:08:40,614
But it's a sex thing...
215
00:08:40,681 --> 00:08:44,317
that I can't build at work.
And you call that justice?
216
00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:45,752
Okay, look, I get it.
217
00:08:45,819 --> 00:08:48,689
IIA might not be
the "cool upstart rebel,"
218
00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:50,156
but this ain't
The Breakfast Club,
219
00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:52,525
and Judd Nelson doesn't end up
with Molly Ringwald.
220
00:08:52,626 --> 00:08:55,195
He ends up at the bottom of
a lake wearing concrete shoes
221
00:08:55,261 --> 00:08:56,997
with my frickin' initials
on them.
222
00:08:57,030 --> 00:08:59,199
That's the power of IIA
with The Agency
223
00:08:59,299 --> 00:09:00,867
as your personal concierge.
224
00:09:00,967 --> 00:09:02,603
I'm intrigued.
225
00:09:02,669 --> 00:09:04,638
And tell them Ray Gillette
sent you.
226
00:09:04,705 --> 00:09:07,007
Wh--stealing my customers?
Really?
227
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,709
You think that'll get you
Mallory's chair?
228
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:09,976
All's fair in love and--
229
00:09:10,043 --> 00:09:11,377
-Ow!
-Ahh!
230
00:09:11,477 --> 00:09:12,846
-Damn it!
-(clears throat)
231
00:09:12,879 --> 00:09:14,114
Where the hell'd
you come from?
232
00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:17,283
A good leader always keeps
tabs on his team.
233
00:09:17,350 --> 00:09:19,052
So spying on us?
234
00:09:19,152 --> 00:09:21,221
How is it that passing out
brochures
235
00:09:21,321 --> 00:09:22,789
is somehow beyond you?
236
00:09:22,856 --> 00:09:24,725
And why are you standing there
nodding?
237
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,660
I said I wanted leadership.
238
00:09:26,727 --> 00:09:28,662
You look like a bobblehead
they give away
239
00:09:28,729 --> 00:09:31,364
to raise awareness
for diabetic librarians.
240
00:09:31,397 --> 00:09:34,067
Technically, I'm prediabetic.
241
00:09:35,335 --> 00:09:37,237
Oh, what are we gonna do
about that guy?
242
00:09:37,337 --> 00:09:38,672
Complain and then nothing?
243
00:09:38,739 --> 00:09:40,340
This is fun.
Ask me another one.
244
00:09:40,406 --> 00:09:43,009
Here's some fun.
I just put a bug on Fabian.
245
00:09:43,076 --> 00:09:44,410
If we get dirt on him,
246
00:09:44,477 --> 00:09:46,880
maybe then he'll approve
my design for the gun bomb.
247
00:09:46,913 --> 00:09:48,915
You see, it looks like a gun--
248
00:09:48,982 --> 00:09:50,751
Or improve
working conditions.
249
00:09:50,817 --> 00:09:53,519
Yeah. We were promised
curated snacks.
250
00:09:53,586 --> 00:09:56,589
At this point, your blood's
just melted Otter Pops, huh?
251
00:09:56,690 --> 00:09:58,258
Well, you guys have fun.
252
00:09:58,324 --> 00:10:01,394
I'm off to find the best part
about every convention:
253
00:10:01,427 --> 00:10:02,896
the party room.
254
00:10:02,929 --> 00:10:06,599
Oh, if Fabian comes back, tell
him he can gnaw on my chode.
255
00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:08,769
(laughs)
256
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:10,771
Yeah, I'm not gonna
tell him that.
257
00:10:11,838 --> 00:10:14,274
Come on. Let's hear
some bottles popping,
258
00:10:14,340 --> 00:10:17,043
maybe some fun squishy noises.
259
00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:19,379
Whoa. Now, that's contraband.
260
00:10:19,445 --> 00:10:21,047
(mysterious music)
261
00:10:21,114 --> 00:10:24,184
Not following you.
I'm not following you.
262
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,619
Just checking stuff out.
263
00:10:28,054 --> 00:10:29,455
(door squeaks)
264
00:10:29,555 --> 00:10:30,791
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
265
00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:34,460
Who's ready to Pam-page?
266
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,529
(guns cocking)
267
00:10:36,596 --> 00:10:38,231
Oh. Wrong party.
268
00:10:38,298 --> 00:10:39,800
Hey, get her!
269
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,635
(men grunting)
270
00:10:42,703 --> 00:10:44,137
(laughs)
271
00:10:44,204 --> 00:10:47,708
I need to party at work
more often.
272
00:10:47,774 --> 00:10:50,410
We are gonna crush
this next event.
273
00:10:50,476 --> 00:10:51,644
Whoa. Lana.
274
00:10:51,712 --> 00:10:52,913
High-fiving
is one of those things
275
00:10:52,979 --> 00:10:54,547
you should never do when drunk,
276
00:10:54,614 --> 00:10:57,317
like bomb disposal
or helping deliver a baby.
277
00:10:57,417 --> 00:10:58,985
Haven't you done
both of those?
278
00:10:59,085 --> 00:11:00,320
That's how I know.
279
00:11:00,420 --> 00:11:02,088
All right. Now, nobody worry,
280
00:11:02,155 --> 00:11:03,990
'cause Archer and I
have been resting--
281
00:11:04,090 --> 00:11:05,225
-Ahh!
-Shit!
282
00:11:05,291 --> 00:11:07,327
(panting)
Guys, there was a room.
283
00:11:07,393 --> 00:11:08,995
Guns--lots.
284
00:11:09,095 --> 00:11:10,596
Like, they're probably coming.
285
00:11:10,663 --> 00:11:11,965
Kind of sounds
like you're coming.
286
00:11:11,998 --> 00:11:14,067
Kaboom! (laughs)
That's a new thing I do.
287
00:11:14,134 --> 00:11:16,102
No, you don't. And it doesn't
even sound like that.
288
00:11:16,169 --> 00:11:18,304
-How would you know?
-Solid burn.
289
00:11:18,338 --> 00:11:20,273
But Pam,
look at the security here.
290
00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:21,507
They don't allow guns
on the floor,
291
00:11:21,574 --> 00:11:22,843
so what would they even do?
292
00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:24,344
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on, guys.
293
00:11:24,444 --> 00:11:26,612
Something's happening
with Fabian.
294
00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:28,681
FABIAN: No!
You'll pay for this!
295
00:11:28,782 --> 00:11:31,351
-(clattering)
-You'll never take me alive!
296
00:11:31,451 --> 00:11:32,753
(grunting)
297
00:11:32,819 --> 00:11:35,155
Okay, so you took me alive.
298
00:11:35,188 --> 00:11:38,191
So, uh...what?
299
00:11:42,829 --> 00:11:44,965
Okay, now that we've had
a moment to process--what?
300
00:11:45,031 --> 00:11:46,699
Why are they kidnapping him?
301
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,635
They're probably trying
to humiliate IIA.
302
00:11:49,702 --> 00:11:51,104
It's right before his speech,
303
00:11:51,171 --> 00:11:52,705
so they'll have to admit
he's kidnapped,
304
00:11:52,806 --> 00:11:54,274
and if they can't protect
their own,
305
00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:55,809
then how are they gonna
protect you?
306
00:11:55,876 --> 00:11:58,611
Then they parade him,
and then they kill him.
307
00:11:58,678 --> 00:11:59,980
What?
We were all thinking it.
308
00:12:00,046 --> 00:12:01,882
Does this solve everything?
309
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:04,450
Yeah, except he said that
the board would break us up
310
00:12:04,517 --> 00:12:06,052
and redistribute us.
311
00:12:06,152 --> 00:12:08,989
Wait, are we actually
gonna save Fabian?
312
00:12:09,055 --> 00:12:10,824
No.
We're gonna save Fabian.
313
00:12:10,891 --> 00:12:12,692
You two have to win
that competition.
314
00:12:12,725 --> 00:12:14,627
We still need a splash
for The Agency.
315
00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:15,728
Plus if you dropped out,
316
00:12:15,829 --> 00:12:17,163
the kidnappers
will know something's up.
317
00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:19,732
Ugh. I really wish
I hadn't had that many drinks.
318
00:12:19,833 --> 00:12:21,501
Me too, but the opposite.
319
00:12:21,567 --> 00:12:24,137
So what's your next event?
320
00:12:24,204 --> 00:12:25,405
(propellers whirring)
321
00:12:25,505 --> 00:12:26,907
WOMAN: Nearing the drop zone.
322
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:29,575
If you are to die,
please take comfort in the fact
323
00:12:29,675 --> 00:12:32,012
that it will not upset me
at all.
324
00:12:32,078 --> 00:12:33,513
-(dramatic music)
-(rumbling)
325
00:12:33,579 --> 00:12:35,381
Ugh. Oh, I'm gonna puke.
326
00:12:35,415 --> 00:12:38,351
Wow. Is it Dartmouth freshman
orientation already?
327
00:12:38,418 --> 00:12:40,486
Seriously, if you were any more
of a lightweight,
328
00:12:40,553 --> 00:12:41,855
you'd be levitating.
329
00:12:41,922 --> 00:12:43,189
Should we be, like...
(retches)
330
00:12:43,256 --> 00:12:44,825
More concerned about
this Fabian thing?
331
00:12:44,891 --> 00:12:46,993
Nah.
The rest of the gang is on it.
332
00:12:47,060 --> 00:12:49,662
-(dramatic music)
-Well, we could--
333
00:12:49,729 --> 00:12:51,764
Ooh, or we could, um...
334
00:12:51,865 --> 00:12:55,535
I hate to ask,
but who got kidnapped again?
335
00:12:55,601 --> 00:12:57,203
Still no call back from AJ.
336
00:12:57,270 --> 00:12:59,272
Okay, I'll just text her and
tell her that I'll take her out
337
00:12:59,372 --> 00:13:00,673
this weekend
and do whatever she wants.
338
00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:02,275
(makes buzzer sound) Wrong.
339
00:13:02,375 --> 00:13:04,110
You just demanded more time
from her,
340
00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:05,511
and now she just resents you.
341
00:13:05,578 --> 00:13:07,247
Text her that you were
just thinking of her
342
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,548
and how proud you are.
343
00:13:08,614 --> 00:13:10,550
Then write,
"No need to respond."
344
00:13:10,616 --> 00:13:11,952
How do you know this stuff?
345
00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:13,453
It helps
that I've never moved
346
00:13:13,553 --> 00:13:14,888
past emotional adolescence.
347
00:13:14,955 --> 00:13:16,722
This event is very simple.
348
00:13:16,789 --> 00:13:19,559
Five briefcases.
Five spots in the finals.
349
00:13:19,625 --> 00:13:21,727
No weapons. Any question?
350
00:13:21,794 --> 00:13:23,396
(dramatic music)
351
00:13:23,463 --> 00:13:25,899
(grunting)
352
00:13:25,966 --> 00:13:27,567
ARCHER: Whoo-hoo!
353
00:13:27,633 --> 00:13:30,203
Johnny Utah!
354
00:13:31,404 --> 00:13:33,206
(both grunt)
355
00:13:33,273 --> 00:13:34,740
LANA: Excuse me.
356
00:13:34,807 --> 00:13:36,042
-Excuse me.
-(grunts)
357
00:13:36,109 --> 00:13:37,710
LANA: Pardon me. Pardon me.
358
00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:38,912
Oh, 'scuse me. Pardon me.
359
00:13:38,979 --> 00:13:40,580
(grunts)
360
00:13:40,646 --> 00:13:42,148
(both grunt)
361
00:13:42,215 --> 00:13:43,984
(grunts)
362
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:46,052
Falkor, away!
363
00:13:46,119 --> 00:13:47,220
(grunts)
364
00:13:47,287 --> 00:13:52,325
* *
365
00:13:52,392 --> 00:13:54,227
Oh, ahh!
366
00:13:54,294 --> 00:13:57,763
I guess we're interpreting
"no weapons" pretty liberally.
367
00:13:57,830 --> 00:13:59,432
(both grunting)
368
00:13:59,499 --> 00:14:00,967
(stomach rumbles)
(groans)
369
00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:02,502
Ahh! Disgusting!
370
00:14:02,602 --> 00:14:05,071
Uh, let's not tell anyone
about this.
371
00:14:05,138 --> 00:14:07,007
AGENT:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
372
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:09,742
* *
373
00:14:09,809 --> 00:14:11,477
(both grunting)
374
00:14:12,678 --> 00:14:13,846
Decent trade.
375
00:14:13,947 --> 00:14:16,582
WOMAN: Altitude warning.
Pull now.
376
00:14:16,649 --> 00:14:19,852
(alarm beeping)
377
00:14:22,488 --> 00:14:24,991
-Ahh!
-You big baby.
378
00:14:25,025 --> 00:14:26,659
Just use your backup chute.
379
00:14:26,692 --> 00:14:27,961
(thuds)
380
00:14:28,028 --> 00:14:30,096
Unless we were way lower
than I thought.
381
00:14:30,163 --> 00:14:32,165
Really should have been keeping
tabs on that.
382
00:14:32,198 --> 00:14:33,499
Oh, well.
383
00:14:33,533 --> 00:14:35,768
-CYRIL: Well, what?
-CHERYL: Well, catch me up.
384
00:14:35,835 --> 00:14:37,803
You've been here
the whole time.
385
00:14:37,870 --> 00:14:39,105
Quiet down.
386
00:14:39,172 --> 00:14:41,141
We're trying to flirt our way
to finding out
387
00:14:41,207 --> 00:14:44,777
who booked that conference room
full of dudes and guns.
388
00:14:44,844 --> 00:14:47,981
And striking out. 0 for 2.
389
00:14:48,048 --> 00:14:49,782
I don't know, y'all.
I can't get a read.
390
00:14:49,849 --> 00:14:52,118
He's like
a sexual Rubik's Cube.
391
00:14:52,185 --> 00:14:54,620
Or as I call it,
a Rubik's Cube.
392
00:14:54,687 --> 00:14:56,722
Huh.
Maybe I should give him a try.
393
00:14:56,822 --> 00:14:59,559
I've developed a sexual
nervous system stimulator
394
00:14:59,625 --> 00:15:01,461
I call "The Wheel."
395
00:15:01,527 --> 00:15:03,529
Okay, I'll bite.
Why is it called The Wheel?
396
00:15:03,563 --> 00:15:06,566
Because once it gets rolling,
there's no stopping it.
397
00:15:06,666 --> 00:15:08,501
Any other ideas?
398
00:15:08,568 --> 00:15:10,670
Literally anything.
399
00:15:10,736 --> 00:15:12,838
(sighs)
Can I help any of you
400
00:15:12,905 --> 00:15:15,508
in some way that does not
involve, and I quote,
401
00:15:15,575 --> 00:15:17,310
"a hot beef enema"?
402
00:15:17,377 --> 00:15:19,145
-That wasn't me!
-I panicked!
403
00:15:19,212 --> 00:15:21,481
Just stand right there.
Hold on.
404
00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:22,748
-(machine whirs)
-Keep standing.
405
00:15:22,848 --> 00:15:24,150
Really,
I don't have time for--
406
00:15:24,217 --> 00:15:26,686
-And you're overwhelmed.
-Oh. Oh. Ahh.
407
00:15:26,752 --> 00:15:28,054
Ahh, ahh, ahh. Ahh!
408
00:15:28,088 --> 00:15:30,256
Got it! Whoever booked
the conference room
409
00:15:30,356 --> 00:15:32,358
-is staying in the Sultan Suite.
-CLERK: Ahh! Ahh! Oh!
410
00:15:32,425 --> 00:15:33,526
You ever lend that thing out?
411
00:15:33,593 --> 00:15:35,095
Sure.
Just clear your schedule,
412
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:38,331
because it goes for, like,
a couple of days.
413
00:15:38,398 --> 00:15:39,599
CLERK: Oh.
414
00:15:39,665 --> 00:15:41,667
So we enter,
clear the guards--
415
00:15:41,734 --> 00:15:43,836
With what?
We don't have guns.
416
00:15:43,903 --> 00:15:45,338
Guys, in the dealer's hall.
417
00:15:45,405 --> 00:15:47,207
There's a ton of non-lethals
in there.
418
00:15:47,273 --> 00:15:50,010
Tasers, air hammers,
something called a knife light.
419
00:15:50,076 --> 00:15:51,611
Well,
then let's get sampling.
420
00:15:51,711 --> 00:15:53,079
All right.
We're in the finals.
421
00:15:53,113 --> 00:15:55,448
It's getting intense.
They tried to kill us up there.
422
00:15:55,515 --> 00:15:57,283
-How are things here?
-Great.
423
00:15:57,350 --> 00:15:59,719
We've located Fabian
and the kidnappers,
424
00:15:59,785 --> 00:16:01,454
and we've got a plan
to get them back.
425
00:16:01,554 --> 00:16:03,789
You do?
I was assuming you'd fail.
426
00:16:03,856 --> 00:16:05,625
And why would you think that?
427
00:16:05,725 --> 00:16:08,028
Because you're you?
428
00:16:08,094 --> 00:16:10,230
-This was the plan!
-I didn't think it would work.
429
00:16:10,296 --> 00:16:12,532
Are we really saving this guy?
He sucks.
430
00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:14,934
I hate him, and he's gonna
make us do bad jobs
431
00:16:14,967 --> 00:16:16,869
-for terrible people.
-You think I want this?
432
00:16:16,936 --> 00:16:19,072
All I want is to do my job
and go home.
433
00:16:19,139 --> 00:16:21,774
But if we get fired, that's not
gonna help my custody problem.
434
00:16:21,807 --> 00:16:23,109
Custody problem?
435
00:16:23,143 --> 00:16:25,245
If you need me to give Robert
a personal tour
436
00:16:25,311 --> 00:16:27,813
of an industrial thresher,
say the word.
437
00:16:27,913 --> 00:16:29,215
-No.
-Got it.
438
00:16:29,282 --> 00:16:30,916
-No, you don't.
-(whispers) Okay.
439
00:16:30,983 --> 00:16:35,321
But, I mean, saving Fabian is
the only way we stay together.
440
00:16:35,421 --> 00:16:37,057
-Right?
-We'll figure the rest out,
441
00:16:37,123 --> 00:16:38,591
but not if we're separated.
442
00:16:38,658 --> 00:16:40,393
Y'all--y'all are family.
443
00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:42,562
Oh, my God.
Is this what it's come to?
444
00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:44,330
Acting responsibly?
445
00:16:44,430 --> 00:16:46,932
Ugh. Fine.
Let's go save a jerk's life,
446
00:16:46,999 --> 00:16:48,934
thereby making the world
a worse place.
447
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:50,836
Yay for the good guys.
448
00:16:50,936 --> 00:16:52,505
Should we even do
the competition?
449
00:16:52,605 --> 00:16:54,440
If you drop out now,
the kidnappers will know
450
00:16:54,507 --> 00:16:56,109
something's up and kill Fabian.
451
00:16:56,176 --> 00:16:57,410
So what's the final event?
452
00:16:57,477 --> 00:16:59,011
Gonne be hard
to top skydiving.
453
00:16:59,112 --> 00:17:00,513
-(cheers and applause)
-WOMAN: And now,
454
00:17:00,613 --> 00:17:03,116
it's time to reveal
the final event
455
00:17:03,183 --> 00:17:06,186
of the Clandesti-con
Agent Skills Competition.
456
00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:09,289
Your final event will be
457
00:17:09,355 --> 00:17:13,626
King of the Train!
458
00:17:13,693 --> 00:17:15,195
(cheers and applause)
459
00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:16,929
Holy shit.
460
00:17:16,996 --> 00:17:21,033
Forget responsibility.
I'm gonna be king of the train.
461
00:17:25,205 --> 00:17:26,472
(cheers and applause)
462
00:17:26,539 --> 00:17:28,141
Stay on your toes.
463
00:17:28,208 --> 00:17:30,143
One of us has to win
to keep The Agency alive and--
464
00:17:30,210 --> 00:17:31,711
Uh, yeah. Whatever.
465
00:17:31,811 --> 00:17:34,780
I'm gonna be king of the train.
Toot toot!
466
00:17:34,847 --> 00:17:36,782
Ugh.
Everyone in position?
467
00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:39,152
Yeah. But this stuff
from the dealer's hall
468
00:17:39,219 --> 00:17:40,686
isn't the most intimidating.
469
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,155
I don't even know
what this does.
470
00:17:42,222 --> 00:17:43,989
-(sprays)
-(coughing)
471
00:17:44,056 --> 00:17:45,858
Yeah, we're gonna need
a few minutes.
472
00:17:45,891 --> 00:17:47,227
ARCHER: I'll signal you
at the start.
473
00:17:47,293 --> 00:17:49,229
Chances are,
they'll be distracted watching
474
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:52,565
the closed-circuit feed
of my glorious victory.
475
00:17:52,665 --> 00:17:54,734
-(lights boom)
-If you touch the ground
476
00:17:54,834 --> 00:17:57,670
or get hit by a paintball,
you're out.
477
00:17:57,737 --> 00:17:59,472
You start with no weapons,
478
00:17:59,539 --> 00:18:02,242
but you may find some
at points on the train,
479
00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:05,678
as well as a few surprises.
480
00:18:05,745 --> 00:18:07,413
Now, the time has come
481
00:18:07,513 --> 00:18:11,884
to find the most skilled agent
in the world.
482
00:18:11,917 --> 00:18:14,354
(dramatic music)
483
00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:16,356
(knocking on door)
484
00:18:16,422 --> 00:18:19,592
WOMAN: Three. Two. One.
485
00:18:19,692 --> 00:18:22,162
-Begin!
-(grunts)
486
00:18:22,228 --> 00:18:23,429
-(Taser clicks)
-(both groan)
487
00:18:23,496 --> 00:18:25,898
-Shocking.
-(thuds)
488
00:18:25,931 --> 00:18:28,100
-Kaboom!
-(energy blasts)
489
00:18:29,435 --> 00:18:30,903
-Ahh!
-(grunts)
490
00:18:30,936 --> 00:18:33,706
(grunts)
Whoa!
491
00:18:33,773 --> 00:18:35,107
(grunts)
492
00:18:35,208 --> 00:18:37,710
* *
493
00:18:37,777 --> 00:18:39,379
(gunshots blasting)
494
00:18:39,445 --> 00:18:40,713
(glass shatters)
495
00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:41,747
(gun clicks)
496
00:18:41,781 --> 00:18:43,115
-(whistling)
-(grunts)
497
00:18:43,216 --> 00:18:45,785
Ahh!
(grunting)
498
00:18:46,619 --> 00:18:47,920
-(groans)
-(mist spritzes)
499
00:18:47,953 --> 00:18:49,622
-Ahh!
-(laser buzzes)
500
00:18:49,689 --> 00:18:52,225
Oh, knife light! Now I get it.
501
00:18:52,292 --> 00:18:55,060
Hold still,
Cirque du Suck Ass!
502
00:18:55,127 --> 00:18:57,930
(dramatic music)
503
00:18:57,963 --> 00:19:01,267
We're leaving. Nobody move,
or Fabian gets it.
504
00:19:01,301 --> 00:19:03,135
(grunts) Do what he says!
505
00:19:05,104 --> 00:19:07,640
(cheers and applause)
506
00:19:08,874 --> 00:19:10,643
(mechanical whirring)
507
00:19:10,743 --> 00:19:11,811
Archer! Duck!
508
00:19:12,812 --> 00:19:14,647
Ooh.
509
00:19:14,747 --> 00:19:16,316
Ugh.
510
00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:17,983
God.
You couldn't just duck?
511
00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:19,919
You know I have trust issues,
Lana,
512
00:19:19,985 --> 00:19:22,422
which you are
partially responsible for.
513
00:19:22,488 --> 00:19:23,589
-How?
-I don't know,
514
00:19:23,656 --> 00:19:24,757
but it feels right!
515
00:19:24,824 --> 00:19:27,493
* *
516
00:19:27,593 --> 00:19:29,329
(gunshots blast)
517
00:19:30,330 --> 00:19:32,965
Oh, now she has a jetpack
and a machine gun?
518
00:19:32,998 --> 00:19:34,066
How is that fair?
519
00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:36,236
(mechanical whir)
520
00:19:36,302 --> 00:19:38,504
(explosion booms)
521
00:19:38,571 --> 00:19:40,005
(audience gasps)
522
00:19:40,072 --> 00:19:42,342
-Still want that jetpack?
-I know you want me to say no,
523
00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:44,410
but the answer is still yes!
524
00:19:44,477 --> 00:19:46,979
* *
525
00:19:47,012 --> 00:19:48,348
(gun clicks)
526
00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:49,649
PAM: We need backup!
527
00:19:49,682 --> 00:19:51,150
They're bringing Fabian
to the floor!
528
00:19:51,183 --> 00:19:53,353
-Throw me the gun!
-It's empty!
529
00:19:53,419 --> 00:19:54,687
Just throw it to me!
530
00:19:56,656 --> 00:19:58,958
(laughs) Man, this is such
a bad idea.
531
00:19:59,959 --> 00:20:00,993
-(gears grind)
-(explosion booms)
532
00:20:01,026 --> 00:20:02,428
-Whoa!
-(grunts)
533
00:20:02,495 --> 00:20:05,164
-(crashing)
-(audience exclaims)
534
00:20:05,197 --> 00:20:07,633
(crashing)
535
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,702
(both scream)
536
00:20:09,769 --> 00:20:10,870
ARCHER: Look out!
537
00:20:10,970 --> 00:20:15,275
* *
538
00:20:17,377 --> 00:20:20,546
Everyone,
this is what we think of IIA.
539
00:20:20,646 --> 00:20:21,814
Lana. Lana.
540
00:20:21,881 --> 00:20:23,883
Do something!
Lana, I know you're faking.
541
00:20:23,983 --> 00:20:26,319
No.
I'm very, very unconscious.
542
00:20:26,386 --> 00:20:28,321
Why am I always
the responsible one?
543
00:20:28,388 --> 00:20:30,856
And so I don't shoot Fabian
for me.
544
00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:33,058
-I shoot him for--
-Ahh! (grunts)
545
00:20:33,158 --> 00:20:35,561
WOMAN: What an amazing
performance.
546
00:20:35,661 --> 00:20:38,398
Congratulations
to the king of the train,
547
00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:40,900
Agent Lana Kane,
548
00:20:40,966 --> 00:20:45,471
representing The Agency,
a boutique subsidiary of IIA.
549
00:20:45,538 --> 00:20:47,373
-God damn it.
-Thank you.
550
00:20:47,407 --> 00:20:49,375
Thank you. You're too kind.
551
00:20:49,409 --> 00:20:51,877
And great work by The Agency.
552
00:20:51,911 --> 00:20:53,979
-(applause)
-Now, that was obviously
553
00:20:54,046 --> 00:20:56,749
a fake kidnapping
and assassination,
554
00:20:56,816 --> 00:20:58,150
but they didn't know that.
555
00:20:58,217 --> 00:21:01,020
In fact, this was
the demonstration portion
556
00:21:01,086 --> 00:21:04,223
of my talk,
"Leadership as a Network."
557
00:21:04,256 --> 00:21:08,361
I turned this unruly bunch into
a finely-honed fighting force.
558
00:21:08,428 --> 00:21:11,764
Sterling Archer himself stepped
between me and a bullet
559
00:21:11,831 --> 00:21:14,667
despite the fact
that he hates my guts.
560
00:21:14,734 --> 00:21:16,769
That is the power
of leadership.
561
00:21:16,836 --> 00:21:18,037
(applause)
562
00:21:18,103 --> 00:21:19,171
Well, thank you all
563
00:21:19,238 --> 00:21:20,773
for helping me with my speech.
564
00:21:20,873 --> 00:21:24,243
So who gets to be
head of The Agency?
565
00:21:24,276 --> 00:21:26,846
I gave away the most brochures.
Kaboom.
566
00:21:26,912 --> 00:21:29,281
Jesus, Cyril. Not the time.
567
00:21:29,349 --> 00:21:31,384
But it's me, right?
See me lead that mission?
568
00:21:31,451 --> 00:21:33,453
Actually,
it's Agent Gillette.
569
00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:35,388
So, uh, what?
570
00:21:35,455 --> 00:21:38,057
Because he understood
the true mission.
571
00:21:38,123 --> 00:21:40,793
He's been gathering dirt
on all of you for years,
572
00:21:40,860 --> 00:21:44,129
which he has compiled
in this very convenient binder.
573
00:21:44,196 --> 00:21:47,199
Like "Pam once snuck a goat
into the office.
574
00:21:47,266 --> 00:21:50,035
-No one knows why."
-I was fostering it.
575
00:21:50,102 --> 00:21:51,737
And the next week,
she brought in
576
00:21:51,804 --> 00:21:53,739
goat meat tacos for everyone.
577
00:21:53,806 --> 00:21:56,376
That goat's personality
was very toxic.
578
00:21:56,442 --> 00:22:00,045
Well, I'm sure you have
a lot to talk about.
579
00:22:00,112 --> 00:22:03,082
You backstabbing
son of a bitch.
580
00:22:03,148 --> 00:22:07,286
In my defense, I did not know
he was gonna tell everybody.
581
00:22:07,319 --> 00:22:09,589
Aww. Heh.
582
00:22:09,655 --> 00:22:10,756
Look.
583
00:22:10,823 --> 00:22:12,825
You know, you're good at this,
Archer.
584
00:22:12,925 --> 00:22:16,228
It'll take time, but maybe you
should get more involved.
585
00:22:16,295 --> 00:22:17,763
You're right.
And, you know,
586
00:22:17,830 --> 00:22:19,164
I didn't wanna let you win,
587
00:22:19,231 --> 00:22:21,667
but up there on the train,
I suddenly had this idea--
588
00:22:21,767 --> 00:22:23,736
being declared the best agent
in the world.
589
00:22:23,803 --> 00:22:25,838
That's gotta help
your custody case for AJ.
590
00:22:25,938 --> 00:22:27,773
And that keeps her in my life.
591
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,677
Aww. Buddy, that won't affect
the case at all.
592
00:22:31,777 --> 00:22:33,278
They don't consider
that kind of thing.
593
00:22:33,345 --> 00:22:34,747
God damn it. That's it!
594
00:22:34,814 --> 00:22:36,749
I've learned
a very valuable lesson today.
595
00:22:36,816 --> 00:22:39,318
Making the responsible choice
is for suckers.
596
00:22:39,351 --> 00:22:41,954
Until now, I've been
the careful, restrained,
597
00:22:42,021 --> 00:22:44,189
subtle, rule-respecting Archer.
598
00:22:44,289 --> 00:22:46,592
-What?
-But that is over!
599
00:22:46,659 --> 00:22:48,360
Welcome to the new Archer.
600
00:22:48,461 --> 00:22:50,930
I'm gonna go find two bottles
of whiskey, three women,
601
00:22:50,996 --> 00:22:53,533
a full-color illustrated
edition of the Kama Sutra,
602
00:22:53,633 --> 00:22:56,669
and six gallons
of orange sports drink.
603
00:22:56,702 --> 00:22:59,872
I will see you all
one: when I feel like it,
604
00:22:59,939 --> 00:23:02,307
and two: in hell!
605
00:23:04,944 --> 00:23:06,712
God damn it.
606
00:23:06,812 --> 00:23:13,719
* *
607
00:23:25,698 --> 00:23:28,734
Made in Georgia.
608
00:23:33,072 --> 00:23:35,541
Captioned by Captionmax
609
00:23:35,591 --> 00:23:40,141
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
43922
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