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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,626 --> 00:00:03,837   "Isn't It Easy" by Goldmyth     2 00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:06,006                                    3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,849   I don't want to think it out   4 00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:20,020           Just move by feeling                    for a while             5 00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:23,732   'Cause I turn it inside out     6 00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:28,153            And out and out          7 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:31,364                  Easy               8 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:35,035             Isn't it easy?          9 00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:37,746                [sighs]               10 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,549           slow, somber music        11 00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:02,062            Feel that velvety,               100% polyester microfleece.     12 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,856         It is like getting a hug             from a really good friend      13 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,900            on a day when you                      really need it.           14 00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,485         And I am such a hugger.       15 00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:10,403            -Are you a hugger?                          -Yes.                16 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:14,199        Now, this is item H-9891,            the Twinsies Tandem Snuggie     17 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,034          by Sunday Sensations.        18 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:19,370            It feels so good,                and it's such a mood lifter.    19 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,247      Throw out your Prozac, y'all.    20 00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:23,249              Just kidding.                     Please don't do that.        21 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:27,128       But, seriously, I just feel               so loved up and cozy        22 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,254              wearing this.            23 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:30,090        It's like we're two BFFs.      24 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,759  And do you know that I just met            Danielle 20 minutes ago?      25 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:35,804          Can't you just imagine                curling up under this        26 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:39,099        with your closest gal pal             and watching a fun movie,      27 00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:41,643  and having a nice glass of wine?  28 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:42,977            -Oh, I love wine.                        -[laughs]              29 00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:45,271                -Me, too.                          -Oh, my God.             30 00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:47,482              upbeat music           31 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:51,027         [indistinct chatter]         32 00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:56,116                [sighs]               33 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:01,246               Morning.                            [chuckles]              34 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:03,915                  Hi.                 35 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,210        Ugh. Sorry I'm walking               sideways, side to side.       36 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,711              [chuckles]              37 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,463        I guess I'm just tired                because I didn't get         38 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,799        -much sleep last night.                     -Why not?              39 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:15,927       Um, I don't know, I guess          I was doing all kinds of sex     40 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,138    and getting absolutely slammed                 and topped.             41 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,639      I'm-a get me some. Mm-hmm.      42 00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,975      Hey, Perry, you should have               put a ring on it.          43 00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:23,268        Listen, I don't believe                   in marriage,             44 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,978     but mazel, you little hooker.    45 00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:26,938             -[both laugh]                        -Hey, Joanna,            46 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,774    could you maybe read the room?               Potato is sick.           47 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,318       I spent $700 on inhalers                    at the vet,             48 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,654        and nothing is working.                All right, come on.         49 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,322     I could have spent that money               on snow tires.            50 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,826    So, I heard you fucked Jordan.                That's cool.             51 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:44,038         Yeah. It was so good.        52 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,708            So, obviously,                     I'm very exhausted.         53 00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:50,628            He's so sweet.                    So charitable of him.        54 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:56,801        Wait, does he know that              you fucked your doctor?       55 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,762           -[shaking salad]                          -What?                56 00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,764     I saw you in the parking lot.    57 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,266         I mean, if you're not                fucking your doctor,         58 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:06,519    why is he giving you meatballs?  59 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,314         Well, I don't owe you                   an explanation,           60 00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:13,651    but because I'm a good person,             I'll give you one.          61 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:15,028                  Mm.                 62 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:18,364       The reason that my doctor                gave me meatballs          63 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:21,618       is because he's Italian,       64 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,536     and it's part of his culture.    65 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,456               So, hmm.               66 00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:28,041            Here's an idea.           67 00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:30,877        Um, why don't you mind                  your own beeswax           68 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:34,130           and go get fucked                   in your own pussy?          69 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:37,050             -Bye, friend.                  -[chuckles sarcastically]      70 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,445              -[exhales]                       -[rapid footsteps]          71 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,619       Do you think I'm pretty?              Do you think I'm a ten?       72 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:05,954          Beth Ann, I cannot                   do this right now.          73 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,664           Okay, but I feel,                   like, really gross,         74 00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:09,624       and it's just gonna take,               like, two seconds.          75 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:10,583          Okay, you're a ten.         76 00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,503         Well, now I feel like             I can't tell if you mean it     77 00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:14,879         'cause you feel like                  you had to say it.          78 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,256      Beth Ann, is that something     79 00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:18,216         you desperately need                  from me right now?          80 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,550    To tell you that you're pretty?      You get told it all the time.    81 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,594          You're very pretty.         82 00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:22,845            Oh, yeah, like,                   you don't need people        83 00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:24,097    to tell you that you're a ten?    84 00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:25,431     'Cause I think you're a ten.     85 00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,516          That wasn't so hard                    for me to say.            86 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:28,059     Well, I just said it to you!     87 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,269        But you didn't mean it.                You didn't mean it.         88 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:32,438       [heavy, rapid footsteps]       89 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,693             tranquil music          90 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,778                                    91 00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:54,002                Encantada.             92 00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:57,130                [gasps]               93 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,512          [sniffing heavily]          94 00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:10,310         Jesus fucking Christ.        95 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:18,609        The discourse is toxic.              The discourse is toxic.       96 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,404            Don't you think                  the discourse is toxic?       97 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:24,073             No. Declare.             98 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,491        The discourse is toxic.       99 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,827    Ah, yes, I-I read that article.  100 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,912            Haricots verts.           101 00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:31,622                 Taxi.                102 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:32,832             Yes, uptown.             103 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,182                Darcy?                104 00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,435                 Fuck.                105 00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:06,532                 Fuck!                106 00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:22,215         [phone line ringing]         107 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,219             Hi, it's Emmet.                   I'm not here right now.       108 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,388            -Leave a message.                         -[beep]               109 00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,390          contemplative music        110 00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:32,558                                    111 00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:42,151               [Jackie]                         I stand in my power,        112 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,904        I stand in my strength.       113 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,824         I stand in my power,         114 00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:52,161        I stand in my strength.       115 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:55,206         I stand in my power,         116 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,126       -I stand in my strength.                  -[phone chimes]           117 00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:01,087              Holy shit.              118 00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:06,926       Thank you... thank you...                   thank you.              119 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,928        Oh, my God. Oh, my God.                    Oh, my God.             120 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,599               [groans]               121 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:18,896               [groans]                         "Duck"? Come on.           122 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,107           "Yes." Oh, good.           123 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,778          [sultry R & B playing]       124 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:28,156           Thinkin' 'bout you        125 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,210       Your tattoos are so cool.      126 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,462             Hmm, thanks.             127 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:43,963          What do they mean?          128 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:47,049            Um, well, uh...           129 00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:49,469          Oh, this is my dog.         130 00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:53,431          And, uh, uh, well,                 this is just a flower.        131 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,266         I can't get a tattoo.        132 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,601               Why not?               133 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,436     Because if you get a tattoo,     134 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,563          you can't be buried                 in a Jewish cemetery.        135 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:03,065             Oh. How come?            136 00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:05,485          Hmm. Nobody knows.          137 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:09,280      -Hey, um, what's this one?                   -Garfield.              138 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,116        I was kind of obsessed               with Garfield as a kid.       139 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,702         Um, yeah. Who wasn't?        140 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,412           He loves lasagna.          141 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:18,539          And hates Mondays.          142 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,087          I really like you.          143 00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:27,840  You're basically my favorite guy              in the world.            144 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,842                 -Wow.                           -Except my dad.           145 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,802    But I've known him for longer.    146 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:34,472         That's totally fair.                   That makes sense.          147 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,686              -[music stops]                          -[beep]               148 00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,688    I don't want to pry, you know,    149 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,690     and-and we totally don't have            to get into anything         150 00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:49,320        that you don't want to,                     but, um,               151 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,365    we haven't really talked about    152 00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:54,534         your whole prognosis.        153 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,619                  Oh.                 154 00:08:56,661 --> 00:09:00,039       I don't want you to feel             like you can't talk about      155 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,290        what's really going on                      with you.              156 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:05,044        Oh, y... you're worried                     about me.              157 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:08,047      I mean, yeah, a little bit.                  [chuckles]              158 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:14,887     You know, I'll, I'll give you             all the details...          159 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,013            at some point,            160 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:20,142          but, um, I just...          161 00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:24,647       Just, could we just stay                  in this, like,            162 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,440         perfect little moment        163 00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:29,026           and just be here?          164 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,611        Yes. Yeah, absolutely.        165 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,737            I'm-I'm sorry.                     I didn't mean to--          166 00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,739                 -No.                         -Let's just... Okay.         167 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:36,200     -Of course. All right. Okay.                 -Okay. Okay.             168 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,410              All right.              169 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,874           [jazz piano playing]        170 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,960                                    171 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:53,092           -Hello, Patricia.                       -Hey, baby.             172 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,678      I love Le Petit Swordfish.                  It's so fun.             173 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,388         Look at that big fish                    on the wall.             174 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,098    I wonder who caught that fish.    175 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,433             [both laugh]             176 00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,059       I know we're three hours                  from the beach,           177 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,436         but for some reason,              when I'm here, I feel like      178 00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:04,895         I'm sitting on a boat                    or something.            179 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,481              [chuckling]                  You are such a goofy bitch.     180 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,778           -You look pretty.                       -Thank you.             181 00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:15,406         Every woman deserves                   a luscious mane.           182 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,949     Even if it's on the forehead.    183 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,118          And statistically,                  the forehead is where        184 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,953       -the face meets the hair.                    -Exactly.              185 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,831         So why not highlight                 that beautiful space?        186 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,458                -Right?                             -Mm-hmm.               187 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,501          This is why I love                Bangerz of Beverly Hills.      188 00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:31,088           They are so fun,                   confidence-boosting,         189 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,090             easy to wear,                   great for a night out.        190 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,800            -No commitment.                          -Okay.                191 00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,302     Are you ready to get banged?     192 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,013              On camera?                     I swore I never would.        193 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,348             [both laugh]             194 00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,016            Just be gentle,                    it's been a while.          195 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,185           All right. Okay.           196 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,145        And just remember that                I have a very small,         197 00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:47,313           tiny little head.          198 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,648           I have big hair,                     but a small head.          199 00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:51,525    -Okay. And you just got banged.                -[gasps]               200 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:55,905                [gasps]                            Who is she?             201 00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:57,657     And, you know, for you ladies          at home who aren't ready       202 00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,116     to commit to permanent bangs,    203 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,785         these are a super fun                    and great way            204 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,745        to just pretend you're              someone else for a night.      205 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,163        Mm. Wouldn't my husband                    love that?              206 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,915                -Right?                           -[both laugh]            207 00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:09,418        You know, it's so funny                to see bangs again.         208 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,003          I haven't had bangs                    since I was 17.           209 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,339               -Really?                    -Which was actually how old     210 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,424       -I was when I met Austin.                      -Oh.                 211 00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:16,842       He was my mom's boyfriend                 for two weeks.            212 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,844                 -Oh.                        -Cut to 11 years later.       213 00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:20,429       My two beautiful children                    are like,              214 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,764            [high-pitched]                "Why haven't we met Grandma?"    215 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,349              [laughing]                              Wow.                 216 00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,685     Today we have the Icy Blonde,    217 00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,229            the Sass Brown,            which is this really rich brown,  218 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:31,357    and the Midnight Magic is wow.                  [laughs]               219 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:37,196        That is really working           for you, girl, don't you think?  220 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:41,033        Um, Beth Ann? [laughs]        221 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,535          I never should have         222 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,203    -brought your ass to Wimbledon.            -[Jackie laughs]           223 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:47,331    Big deal. So I spilled a glass          of beer on John McEnroe.       224 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,208               -Boo-hoo.                       -You embarrassed me         225 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,377               in front                   of the whole Sackler family.     226 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,170          Oh, they loved it,                    and you know it.           227 00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,715          Pat, I have to say,         228 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,550             I am so glad                you finally asked me to lunch.    229 00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:00,094     It really has been too long.     230 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,222               [quietly]                             Jackie.               231 00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:07,184                Listen,               232 00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:09,270     I'm going through some shit.     233 00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:14,233      It's hard for me to say it.     234 00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,069  But I got to tell you something.  235 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:18,487             I understand.                    Don't worry about it.        236 00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,906      I can get us started today.     237 00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,325      So, you know my astrologer.     238 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:27,204                 -Pam.                           -Pam. Yes, Pam.           239 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:30,249           Pam told me that              in the next chapter of my life,  240 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,418             I really need                    to stand in my power.        241 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,753                -Right.                              -Right?               242 00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,421                -Yeah.                             -So, I know             243 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,256       the last time we talked,          I was maybe a little too vague    244 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,883       about the kinds of things      245 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:42,595           I was envisioning               selling on my show, but...      246 00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:44,054            stay with me...           247 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,891      this is a perfect example.      248 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:48,768                Ta-da!                249 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,936        What the fuck is that?        250 00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:52,938       This is a Crystal Buddy.       251 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:56,942         Now, each Buddy comes                 with its own stone          252 00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:59,361             for a variety                    of healing purposes.         253 00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:01,614        They're basically like                 energy channelers.          254 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:04,033        This is Swagger Buddy.        255 00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:05,951    He actually played quite a part  256 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:08,120     in getting us to sit together               today at lunch.           257 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,289             -Oh, he did?                         -Yes, he did.            258 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,626          Did you know, Pat,                 that I was holding him        259 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,085            the very second                    that you texted me          260 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,629          to ask me to go out                   for lunch today?           261 00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:18,047            You want to say                   that's a coincidence?        262 00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:19,465           I don't think so.          263 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,259       This is just one example       264 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:23,636         of the kind of thing                     I would sell             265 00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:25,429     on a   Beautiful You   I control,    266 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,473      where I get to sell things           that reflect the new person     267 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,558        that I am growing into.       268 00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:38,192            So Pam gave you                 these Canal Street rocks,      269 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:42,404         and now she wants you             to sell these on air, huh?      270 00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:46,325             Let me guess.            271 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,868          You owe her money?          272 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,996           No. No, I don't.                    It's not like that.         273 00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:52,832      So you don't owe her money?     274 00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:54,834                  No.                 275 00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:57,211    I mean, well, I mean, a little,     but that's not the reason why--  276 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,880  So you do. You   do   owe her money!  277 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:03,884  And now I'm supposed to sit here     while you tell me this fucking    278 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,719             crystal turd             279 00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:09,014       summoned me here somehow?      280 00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:11,350         Okay, now I feel like              you're being really rude.      281 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,185    These are very well made, Pat,       but they're not indestructible,  282 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:15,187  so please be careful. Thank you.  283 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,814          No, no, no, Jackie.         284 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,774     Let me tell you what's rude.     285 00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,818            The whole time                     you're sitting here         286 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,279        munching on a crab cake                    I'm buying,             287 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,865        you're just waiting for           the right moment to hit me up    288 00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:29,368          with this big scam                 you and Pam cooked up.        289 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,537           It's not a scam.           290 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,706        It all makes sense now.       291 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:38,627             Marty's gone,                  so you come crawling back      292 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:42,715       to your old pal Patricia              to clean up your mess.        293 00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:46,093           Well, guess what.          294 00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,220         I'm still sick of it.        295 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:52,182         You want to know why             you don't like your contract?    296 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,768      Because Pam fucking did it      297 00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:58,022       before she was disbarred!      298 00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:01,984          Now, the two of you                 can play sticker book        299 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,320     with whatever white nonsense                   you want,              300 00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,530           but keep it away                     from my network.           301 00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:14,496          This is so classic.         302 00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:16,248             Classic you.             303 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:19,877       This might seem like just          some big, stupid joke to you,    304 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,879       but do you know that this         actually means something to me?  305 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,214      It's important to me, okay?                    To me.                306 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,216           You never change,                     you know that?            307 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,928     And you never let anyone else           change, and that's why        308 00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:31,388    maybe your own son doesn't want            to speak to you.           309 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,266         slow, melancholy music      310 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:36,268               The fuck?              311 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,437           Yeah. Guess what.                   He texted me today,         312 00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,105            and he told me                    that you called him,         313 00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:41,690      but he said he doesn't want                to talk to you.           314 00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:43,400        Very interesting. Huh.        315 00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,152          But he still wants                     to talk to me.            316 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:50,074           I think it's time              you leave Le Petit Swordfish.    317 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:53,160         Fine.   We're   leaving.         318 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,454            You're welcome                     for the crab cakes.         319 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,914       They were mostly filler.       320 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,791       Bitch, I didn't make 'em.      321 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,670             -Oh, my God.                       -This is so cute.          322 00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:05,506      Does that look like it'd be         the right size for me? Okay.     323 00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:08,175          You can just add it                 to my friend's bill.         324 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,593              Thank you.              325 00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,095          [imitates gunshot]          326 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,306      Hey, Jackie, knock, knock.              We got a late change         327 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,725       to the Infinite Luxuries            Essentials Infinity Scarf.      328 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,561            We are pulling                     the Grecian Greige.         329 00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:22,314          You good with that?         330 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,483           You got it, hon?           331 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:28,612                Jackie?               332 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,614             intense music           333 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,700                                    334 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,161               Jackie?!               335 00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:39,164          Fuck... my... life!         336 00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:40,749       Jackie, are you in there?      337 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,459               It's Deb.              338 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,003       Well, is Jackie in there                     with you?              339 00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:49,008                 -No?                          -Wrong answer, Deb!         340 00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,467       Arch your back, and then       341 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,011         you're gonna feel it                  in your hamstrings.         342 00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:53,262        Okay, well, that's how              I fucked up my shoulder--      343 00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:54,680                 -Hey!                                -Aah!                344 00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,223                Beena!                345 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,475      Actionable! What the fuck?      346 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,602            You   what the fuck!                 Have you seen Jackie?        347 00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:03,355        Beautiful You's   on in 15,         and she's nowhere to be found.    348 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,898          Well, did you check                  her dressing room?          349 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:08,318      Oh, I didn't think of that.                  Great idea.             350 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,653           Did you text her?          351 00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,905         Oh, what a great idea                    to text her.             352 00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:13,949           You know, I guess               it just didn't occur to me      353 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:17,161    'cause I'm just a stupid woman        with a giant Hello Kitty head    354 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,288     that goes "Meow, meow, meow"!    355 00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:20,706         -Go help me find her!                  -I've got to go.           356 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,750    Eyes on Jackie, eyes on Jackie.  357 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,672           What's going on?           358 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,549           Jackie's missing.          359 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,342                [gasps]                      Who's going on for her?       360 00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:34,053      Is she okay? Was it drugs?             Who's going on for her?       361 00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:36,305    -I don't know. What? No. Stop!            -I think I can do it.        362 00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:37,890       I think it should be me.            She would have wanted that.     363 00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:39,808      -I don't think she's dead.            -I know. I'm just saying       364 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:41,894             I can do it.                     I can save the show.         365 00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:43,395            Okay, go, yeah.                  Go to hair and makeup.        366 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,022        Okay, boss. Wait, wait.       367 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,066          Bangerz? Yay? Nay?          368 00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,484               Not mad.               369 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:49,985               [squeals]              370 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,197           Jackie's missing,                  but I got it covered.        371 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,324          Beth Ann's already                   in hair and makeup.         372 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:03,707               -[sighs]                            -I'm sorry.             373 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,709             [door closes]            374 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:08,170          contemplative music        375 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:10,255                                    376 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,343                 Mmm.                 377 00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:15,761                Joanna?               378 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,056         Hmm. Oh, you're here,                     uh, in my--             379 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:23,435         You're gonna fill in             for Jackie on   Beautiful You.     380 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:26,313         What? Where's Jackie?                    Is she okay?             381 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:29,858             -She's fine.                      -Okay, well, um...          382 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,111         I'm really flattered,                    but I just...            383 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,279  You know, I wouldn't want Jackie             to feel, like,            384 00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,615     weird or-or, like, betrayed.     385 00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:39,284           She just betrayed               the whole fucking network.      386 00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:40,911             Now, listen,             387 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:44,790     you've been doing really well               here, you know?           388 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,792          You've grown a lot.         389 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,794        And if this goes well,        390 00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,296     maybe you get your own show.     391 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:56,385         Joanna, I really need                your help right now.         392 00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,762        You know what it's like       393 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,473  to have stress on top of cancer.  394 00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:04,309     Now, you don't want to do it,    395 00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,228    I can always send in Beth Ann.    396 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,896                 Huh?                 397 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,234         Heather, that is not                    a nose contour.           398 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,236     I asked for Dubai, not Kabul.    399 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,238       Hi. Beth Ann, I'm sorry.       400 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,656          We need the chair.          401 00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,199                [woman]                    Going live in ten, people.      402 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,201                 What?                403 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,369               [quietly]                            I tried.               404 00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:37,426              I hate you!             405 00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:38,802               [grunts]               406 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,430        -She didn't mean that.                  -I think she did.          407 00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:42,848            -Yeah, she did.                          -Okay.                408 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,933       [upbeat theme music playing]    409 00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:46,768          [female announcer]                 Next up on   Beautiful You,      410 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:49,605          Jackie Stilton brings              you amazing deals and steals    411 00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:52,191      to make a more beautiful you.    412 00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:54,526        Welcome to   Beautiful You       413 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:58,197                 Welcome                        to   Beautiful You.            414 00:19:58,238 --> 00:20:01,658       Hello, beautiful people,           and welcome to   Beautiful You.    415 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,368           I'm Joanna Gold,           416 00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:05,871      and I am so sad that Jackie            couldn't be here today,       417 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,957    but one thing that I do know is     that she'd want us to have fun.  418 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,542            Now let's look                    at our first product.        419 00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,128       It's an absolute favorite                  of Jackie's.             420 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:16,715      This is the Infinite Luxury          Essentials Infinity Scarf.      421 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,884          Now... the problem          422 00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:21,094      with traditional scarves is                that they end,            423 00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:23,722            and not always                    where we want 'em to.        424 00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:26,516            But this scarf,                    it goes on forever.         425 00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:28,185              Do we love?             426 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,187         Okay, and I just want             to show you with this scarf     427 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,897            how many times                I can wrap it around my neck.    428 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:35,400        It's really incredible.                 Okay, here's one.          429 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,027               And two.               430 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,528           And three times.           431 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,614           Hmm? And four times.        432 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,366             -And guess what.               -[man] And cutting to "B."      433 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:43,867            Time number five.          434 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,285       Now, here's what I love,       435 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,621      and I am so freaking jazzed                  about this.             436 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,998       For the first time ever,       437 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,251          Fabulously Ageless                     is offering us            438 00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:56,421          this breathtaking,                128-ounce, pump-top jug.       439 00:20:56,463 --> 00:20:58,423  Now, we have a caller right now.  440 00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,842     I'm hear... I'm just hearing            that we have a caller.        441 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,719  This is Cristal from Boca Raton.  442 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:03,887     Cristal, hello. How are you?     443 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,389           [Southern accent]                            Hi!                 444 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:07,266        Now, tell me, Cristal,        445 00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:10,435    how many gorgeous tubs and jugs       of cream did you get today?     446 00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:12,437                 Oh, no,                     I don't want any cream tubs.    447 00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:13,772         [Jackie] [no accent]                I was just wondering where     448 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,440       you got that pretty bracelet    449 00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:18,527      with that lobster claw clasp.    450 00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:20,279            Just has that air          451 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,571     of sophistication, you know?     452 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,991          contemplative music        453 00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:26,493                                    454 00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:30,622                 Uh...                455 00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:35,294    Well, I can't remember exactly        where I got, uh, my bracelet.    456 00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:37,004       But we are talking creams                   right now,              457 00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:41,300        and it is time to, uh,                move on to the serum.        458 00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:45,137    So, Cristal, I'm going to, uh,          bid you a good afternoon,      459 00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:47,472            and we'll talk                     to you soon, then.          460 00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:52,477       But... and, and, and now            onto the serum, which I...      461 00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:54,062        was a favorite of mine.       462 00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:56,481          Oh, it's Mr. Meat.          463 00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:58,692             Hey, Gumdrop.                    Those are cute shoes.        464 00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:01,653         Oh, what? Thank you.                   You're so sweet.           465 00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:04,990            [both chuckle]            466 00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:07,659         Oh, my God. I swear,                if one more person says       467 00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:10,746    I look like Zooey Deschanel in       these bangs, I'm gonna scream.    468 00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:12,664       Oh, honey, you're so much              prettier than Zooey.         469 00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:15,167         -What?! [laughs] No.                       -[laughs]              470 00:22:15,208 --> 00:22:16,835                 Yeah.                471 00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:18,462                [sighs]               472 00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:21,423           Oh. What is that?                   What are you doing?         473 00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:22,924     I'm just putting one last rub               on this steak,            474 00:22:22,966 --> 00:22:24,468        and I got to let it sit                   for an hour.             475 00:22:24,509 --> 00:22:26,511        -You want to try some?                    -No, no, no.             476 00:22:26,553 --> 00:22:28,847         I don't eat red meat              'cause Austin's against it,     477 00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:31,725    'cause it's... it's unhealthy,        and we like to keep it natch.    478 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,352        'Cause we don't believe                   in hospitals             479 00:22:33,393 --> 00:22:35,020     'cause of the 5G, et cetera,     480 00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:37,397        and all the carcinogens             and stuff, so, you know?       481 00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:39,399      I don't know what the fuck              you're talking about.        482 00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:41,818      But I do know, what Austin           don't know won't hurt him.      483 00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:44,613           Come on. Come on.          484 00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:55,415              Oh, my God.             485 00:22:55,457 --> 00:22:58,001       Yeah. That's been frozen                   for 72 hours.            486 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:01,004            Oh, whoa, whoa.           487 00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,673                Well...               488 00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:05,050                 -Ooh!                                -Mmm!                489 00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:07,719            [both moaning]            490 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,557                Darcy?                491 00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:14,726                 Yes.                 492 00:23:14,768 --> 00:23:17,312               Sit down.              493 00:23:29,783 --> 00:23:32,994            You might think                     I don't see you.           494 00:23:33,995 --> 00:23:35,664               But I do.              495 00:23:37,457 --> 00:23:39,876                  Oh.                 496 00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:42,212                 Okay.                497 00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:51,847            That's for you.           498 00:23:58,353 --> 00:24:00,480        You go have fun, okay?        499 00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,867             [door closes]            500 00:24:11,908 --> 00:24:13,869           slow, gentle music        501 00:24:13,910 --> 00:24:15,954                                    502 00:24:29,509 --> 00:24:31,928              [retching]              503 00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:34,848       [dog barking in distance]      504 00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:45,859                Jackie?               505 00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:49,029            Jackie, please.           506 00:24:50,697 --> 00:24:52,741         [indistinct chatter]         507 00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:56,995                [sighs]               508 00:24:57,037 --> 00:24:58,997         Boo, I need to talk--        509 00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,457           -You're so good.                       -I'm so bad.             510 00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:02,250         -I'm so fucking bad.                 -You're so good. Oh!         511 00:25:02,292 --> 00:25:03,919     -[Perry] I'm so fucking bad.               -You're so good.           512 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,670          -[Perry] Yes. Yes.                      -Oh, oh, oh!             513 00:25:05,712 --> 00:25:07,714            -[Perry] Yes...            -Oh, my God, you're good at sex.  514 00:25:07,756 --> 00:25:08,798           -[Perry] I know.                  -Oh, my God, you're...        515 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,134              -[knocking]                           -Go away!              516 00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:13,595              [knocking]              517 00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:15,013      Jackie, will you let me in?     518 00:25:15,055 --> 00:25:17,349              -[knocking]                           -Please?               519 00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:19,017              [knocking]              520 00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:21,686            [Jackie sighs]            521 00:25:21,728 --> 00:25:23,897               [beeping]              522 00:25:25,857 --> 00:25:27,817      [automated voice]   Disarmed.     523 00:25:27,859 --> 00:25:29,986       What are you doing here?       524 00:25:30,028 --> 00:25:32,197                [sighs]                           I'm so sorry.            525 00:25:32,239 --> 00:25:34,366         Can I please explain?        526 00:25:34,407 --> 00:25:35,867       No. I don't want to hear.      527 00:25:35,909 --> 00:25:38,995        Jackie, I... I just...        528 00:25:39,037 --> 00:25:40,872      I got thrown into it, okay?     529 00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:45,126           And, by the way,                     it felt horrible.          530 00:25:45,168 --> 00:25:47,754         Didn't look that way.             Looked like it felt great.      531 00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:49,548                [sighs]               532 00:25:49,589 --> 00:25:52,551      Look, if I'm being honest,                    I just...              533 00:25:52,592 --> 00:25:55,762          I wanted to be you.         534 00:25:55,804 --> 00:25:58,390         You have this, like,                 very glamorous life,         535 00:25:58,431 --> 00:26:00,267      and you're so put together,                    and...                536 00:26:00,308 --> 00:26:01,768                [sighs]               537 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:12,237          All right, come in.         538 00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:13,947              Thank you.              539 00:26:13,989 --> 00:26:15,657                [sighs]               540 00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:17,742            "A Little Respect"                      by Erasure             541 00:26:22,622 --> 00:26:26,334           I try to discover         542 00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:31,214            A little something                  to make me sweeter         543 00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:34,593           Oh, baby, refrain         544 00:26:34,634 --> 00:26:38,763         From breaking my heart      545 00:26:38,805 --> 00:26:43,018        I'm so in love with you      546 00:26:43,059 --> 00:26:47,856          I'll be forever blue       547 00:26:47,897 --> 00:26:50,275       That you give me no reason   548 00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:53,153           Why you make me work                      so hard               549 00:26:53,194 --> 00:26:55,447           That you give me no,                that you give me no         550 00:26:55,488 --> 00:26:57,657             That you give me                no, that you give me no       551 00:26:57,699 --> 00:27:00,118                  Soul               552 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:04,039           I hear you calling        553 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:09,002            Oh, baby, please         554 00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:12,297         Give a little respect       555 00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:17,344                 To me               556 00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:25,101         And if I should falter      557 00:27:25,143 --> 00:27:26,936             Would you open          558 00:27:26,978 --> 00:27:29,814          Your arms out to me?       559 00:27:29,856 --> 00:27:33,652       We can make love, not war     560 00:27:33,693 --> 00:27:37,572            And live at peace                    with our hearts           561 00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:41,326        I'm so in love with you      562 00:27:41,368 --> 00:27:42,827                 [man]                             No traipsing.            66417

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