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"Isn't It Easy" by Goldmyth
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3
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I don't want to think it out
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Just move by feeling
for a while
5
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:23,732
'Cause I turn it inside out
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And out and out
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Easy
8
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Isn't it easy?
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[sighs]
10
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slow, somber music
11
00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:02,062
Feel that velvety,
100% polyester microfleece.
12
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,856
It is like getting a hug
from a really good friend
13
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,900
on a day when you
really need it.
14
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,485
And I am such a hugger.
15
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-Are you a hugger?
-Yes.
16
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Now, this is item H-9891,
the Twinsies Tandem Snuggie
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by Sunday Sensations.
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It feels so good,
and it's such a mood lifter.
19
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Throw out your Prozac, y'all.
20
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Just kidding.
Please don't do that.
21
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:27,128
But, seriously, I just feel
so loved up and cozy
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wearing this.
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It's like we're two BFFs.
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And do you know that I just met
Danielle 20 minutes ago?
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Can't you just imagine
curling up under this
26
00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:39,099
with your closest gal pal
and watching a fun movie,
27
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:41,643
and having a nice glass of wine?
28
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-Oh, I love wine.
-[laughs]
29
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-Me, too.
-Oh, my God.
30
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upbeat music
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[indistinct chatter]
32
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[sighs]
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Morning.
[chuckles]
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Hi.
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00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,210
Ugh. Sorry I'm walking
sideways, side to side.
36
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[chuckles]
37
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I guess I'm just tired
because I didn't get
38
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-much sleep last night.
-Why not?
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Um, I don't know, I guess
I was doing all kinds of sex
40
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and getting absolutely slammed
and topped.
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I'm-a get me some. Mm-hmm.
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00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,975
Hey, Perry, you should have
put a ring on it.
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Listen, I don't believe
in marriage,
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but mazel, you little hooker.
45
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-[both laugh]
-Hey, Joanna,
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could you maybe read the room?
Potato is sick.
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I spent $700 on inhalers
at the vet,
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and nothing is working.
All right, come on.
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I could have spent that money
on snow tires.
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00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,826
So, I heard you fucked Jordan.
That's cool.
51
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Yeah. It was so good.
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So, obviously,
I'm very exhausted.
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He's so sweet.
So charitable of him.
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Wait, does he know that
you fucked your doctor?
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-[shaking salad]
-What?
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I saw you in the parking lot.
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I mean, if you're not
fucking your doctor,
58
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why is he giving you meatballs?
59
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,314
Well, I don't owe you
an explanation,
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00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:13,651
but because I'm a good person,
I'll give you one.
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Mm.
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The reason that my doctor
gave me meatballs
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is because he's Italian,
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and it's part of his culture.
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So, hmm.
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Here's an idea.
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Um, why don't you mind
your own beeswax
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and go get fucked
in your own pussy?
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-Bye, friend.
-[chuckles sarcastically]
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-[exhales]
-[rapid footsteps]
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00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,619
Do you think I'm pretty?
Do you think I'm a ten?
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Beth Ann, I cannot
do this right now.
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Okay, but I feel,
like, really gross,
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00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:09,624
and it's just gonna take,
like, two seconds.
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00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:10,583
Okay, you're a ten.
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00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,503
Well, now I feel like
I can't tell if you mean it
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'cause you feel like
you had to say it.
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Beth Ann, is that something
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00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:18,216
you desperately need
from me right now?
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To tell you that you're pretty?
You get told it all the time.
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You're very pretty.
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Oh, yeah, like,
you don't need people
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to tell you that you're a ten?
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'Cause I think you're a ten.
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00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,516
That wasn't so hard
for me to say.
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00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:28,059
Well, I just said it to you!
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But you didn't mean it.
You didn't mean it.
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[heavy, rapid footsteps]
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tranquil music
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Encantada.
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[gasps]
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[sniffing heavily]
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00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:10,310
Jesus fucking Christ.
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The discourse is toxic.
The discourse is toxic.
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00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,404
Don't you think
the discourse is toxic?
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No. Declare.
98
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,491
The discourse is toxic.
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00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,827
Ah, yes, I-I read that article.
100
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Haricots verts.
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Taxi.
102
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Yes, uptown.
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Darcy?
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Fuck.
105
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Fuck!
106
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[phone line ringing]
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Hi, it's Emmet.
I'm not here right now.
108
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-Leave a message.
-[beep]
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contemplative music
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111
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:42,151
[Jackie]
I stand in my power,
112
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,904
I stand in my strength.
113
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I stand in my power,
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I stand in my strength.
115
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I stand in my power,
116
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-I stand in my strength.
-[phone chimes]
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Holy shit.
118
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Thank you... thank you...
thank you.
119
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Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
120
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[groans]
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[groans]
"Duck"? Come on.
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"Yes." Oh, good.
123
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[sultry R & B playing]
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Thinkin' 'bout you
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Your tattoos are so cool.
126
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Hmm, thanks.
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What do they mean?
128
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:47,049
Um, well, uh...
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00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:49,469
Oh, this is my dog.
130
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:53,431
And, uh, uh, well,
this is just a flower.
131
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I can't get a tattoo.
132
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Why not?
133
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Because if you get a tattoo,
134
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you can't be buried
in a Jewish cemetery.
135
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:03,065
Oh. How come?
136
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:05,485
Hmm. Nobody knows.
137
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:09,280
-Hey, um, what's this one?
-Garfield.
138
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,116
I was kind of obsessed
with Garfield as a kid.
139
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,702
Um, yeah. Who wasn't?
140
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He loves lasagna.
141
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And hates Mondays.
142
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I really like you.
143
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You're basically my favorite guy
in the world.
144
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-Wow.
-Except my dad.
145
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But I've known him for longer.
146
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:34,472
That's totally fair.
That makes sense.
147
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-[music stops]
-[beep]
148
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,688
I don't want to pry, you know,
149
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,690
and-and we totally don't have
to get into anything
150
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:49,320
that you don't want to,
but, um,
151
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,365
we haven't really talked about
152
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your whole prognosis.
153
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,619
Oh.
154
00:08:56,661 --> 00:09:00,039
I don't want you to feel
like you can't talk about
155
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,290
what's really going on
with you.
156
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:05,044
Oh, y... you're worried
about me.
157
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:08,047
I mean, yeah, a little bit.
[chuckles]
158
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:14,887
You know, I'll, I'll give you
all the details...
159
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,013
at some point,
160
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:20,142
but, um, I just...
161
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Just, could we just stay
in this, like,
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perfect little moment
163
00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:29,026
and just be here?
164
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,611
Yes. Yeah, absolutely.
165
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,737
I'm-I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to--
166
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-No.
-Let's just... Okay.
167
00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:36,200
-Of course. All right. Okay.
-Okay. Okay.
168
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,410
All right.
169
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,874
[jazz piano playing]
170
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,960
171
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:53,092
-Hello, Patricia.
-Hey, baby.
172
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,678
I love Le Petit Swordfish.
It's so fun.
173
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,388
Look at that big fish
on the wall.
174
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,098
I wonder who caught that fish.
175
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,433
[both laugh]
176
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,059
I know we're three hours
from the beach,
177
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,436
but for some reason,
when I'm here, I feel like
178
00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:04,895
I'm sitting on a boat
or something.
179
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,481
[chuckling]
You are such a goofy bitch.
180
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,778
-You look pretty.
-Thank you.
181
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:15,406
Every woman deserves
a luscious mane.
182
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,949
Even if it's on the forehead.
183
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,118
And statistically,
the forehead is where
184
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,953
-the face meets the hair.
-Exactly.
185
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,831
So why not highlight
that beautiful space?
186
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,458
-Right?
-Mm-hmm.
187
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,501
This is why I love
Bangerz of Beverly Hills.
188
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:31,088
They are so fun,
confidence-boosting,
189
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,090
easy to wear,
great for a night out.
190
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-No commitment.
-Okay.
191
00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,302
Are you ready to get banged?
192
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,013
On camera?
I swore I never would.
193
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,348
[both laugh]
194
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,016
Just be gentle,
it's been a while.
195
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,185
All right. Okay.
196
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,145
And just remember that
I have a very small,
197
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:47,313
tiny little head.
198
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,648
I have big hair,
but a small head.
199
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:51,525
-Okay. And you just got banged.
-[gasps]
200
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:55,905
[gasps]
Who is she?
201
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:57,657
And, you know, for you ladies
at home who aren't ready
202
00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,116
to commit to permanent bangs,
203
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,785
these are a super fun
and great way
204
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,745
to just pretend you're
someone else for a night.
205
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,163
Mm. Wouldn't my husband
love that?
206
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,915
-Right?
-[both laugh]
207
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:09,418
You know, it's so funny
to see bangs again.
208
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,003
I haven't had bangs
since I was 17.
209
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,339
-Really?
-Which was actually how old
210
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,424
-I was when I met Austin.
-Oh.
211
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:16,842
He was my mom's boyfriend
for two weeks.
212
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,844
-Oh.
-Cut to 11 years later.
213
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:20,429
My two beautiful children
are like,
214
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,764
[high-pitched]
"Why haven't we met Grandma?"
215
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,349
[laughing]
Wow.
216
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,685
Today we have the Icy Blonde,
217
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,229
the Sass Brown,
which is this really rich brown,
218
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:31,357
and the Midnight Magic is wow.
[laughs]
219
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:37,196
That is really working
for you, girl, don't you think?
220
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:41,033
Um, Beth Ann? [laughs]
221
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,535
I never should have
222
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,203
-brought your ass to Wimbledon.
-[Jackie laughs]
223
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:47,331
Big deal. So I spilled a glass
of beer on John McEnroe.
224
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,208
-Boo-hoo.
-You embarrassed me
225
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,377
in front
of the whole Sackler family.
226
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,170
Oh, they loved it,
and you know it.
227
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,715
Pat, I have to say,
228
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:57,550
I am so glad
you finally asked me to lunch.
229
00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:00,094
It really has been too long.
230
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,222
[quietly]
Jackie.
231
00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:07,184
Listen,
232
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:09,270
I'm going through some shit.
233
00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:14,233
It's hard for me to say it.
234
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,069
But I got to tell you something.
235
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:18,487
I understand.
Don't worry about it.
236
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,906
I can get us started today.
237
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,325
So, you know my astrologer.
238
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:27,204
-Pam.
-Pam. Yes, Pam.
239
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:30,249
Pam told me that
in the next chapter of my life,
240
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,418
I really need
to stand in my power.
241
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,753
-Right.
-Right?
242
00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,421
-Yeah.
-So, I know
243
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,256
the last time we talked,
I was maybe a little too vague
244
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,883
about the kinds of things
245
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:42,595
I was envisioning
selling on my show, but...
246
00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:44,054
stay with me...
247
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,891
this is a perfect example.
248
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:48,768
Ta-da!
249
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,936
What the fuck is that?
250
00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:52,938
This is a Crystal Buddy.
251
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:56,942
Now, each Buddy comes
with its own stone
252
00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:59,361
for a variety
of healing purposes.
253
00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:01,614
They're basically like
energy channelers.
254
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:04,033
This is Swagger Buddy.
255
00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:05,951
He actually played quite a part
256
00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:08,120
in getting us to sit together
today at lunch.
257
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,289
-Oh, he did?
-Yes, he did.
258
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:13,626
Did you know, Pat,
that I was holding him
259
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,085
the very second
that you texted me
260
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,629
to ask me to go out
for lunch today?
261
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:18,047
You want to say
that's a coincidence?
262
00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:19,465
I don't think so.
263
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,259
This is just one example
264
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:23,636
of the kind of thing
I would sell
265
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:25,429
on a Beautiful You I control,
266
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,473
where I get to sell things
that reflect the new person
267
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,558
that I am growing into.
268
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:38,192
So Pam gave you
these Canal Street rocks,
269
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:42,404
and now she wants you
to sell these on air, huh?
270
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:46,325
Let me guess.
271
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,868
You owe her money?
272
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,996
No. No, I don't.
It's not like that.
273
00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:52,832
So you don't owe her money?
274
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:54,834
No.
275
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:57,211
I mean, well, I mean, a little,
but that's not the reason why--
276
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,880
So you do. You do owe her money!
277
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:03,884
And now I'm supposed to sit here
while you tell me this fucking
278
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,719
crystal turd
279
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:09,014
summoned me here somehow?
280
00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:11,350
Okay, now I feel like
you're being really rude.
281
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,185
These are very well made, Pat,
but they're not indestructible,
282
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:15,187
so please be careful. Thank you.
283
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,814
No, no, no, Jackie.
284
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,774
Let me tell you what's rude.
285
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,818
The whole time
you're sitting here
286
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,279
munching on a crab cake
I'm buying,
287
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,865
you're just waiting for
the right moment to hit me up
288
00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:29,368
with this big scam
you and Pam cooked up.
289
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,537
It's not a scam.
290
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,706
It all makes sense now.
291
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:38,627
Marty's gone,
so you come crawling back
292
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:42,715
to your old pal Patricia
to clean up your mess.
293
00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:46,093
Well, guess what.
294
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,220
I'm still sick of it.
295
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:52,182
You want to know why
you don't like your contract?
296
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,768
Because Pam fucking did it
297
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:58,022
before she was disbarred!
298
00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:01,984
Now, the two of you
can play sticker book
299
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,320
with whatever white nonsense
you want,
300
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,530
but keep it away
from my network.
301
00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:14,496
This is so classic.
302
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:16,248
Classic you.
303
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:19,877
This might seem like just
some big, stupid joke to you,
304
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,879
but do you know that this
actually means something to me?
305
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,214
It's important to me, okay?
To me.
306
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,216
You never change,
you know that?
307
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,928
And you never let anyone else
change, and that's why
308
00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:31,388
maybe your own son doesn't want
to speak to you.
309
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,266
slow, melancholy music
310
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:36,268
The fuck?
311
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,437
Yeah. Guess what.
He texted me today,
312
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,105
and he told me
that you called him,
313
00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:41,690
but he said he doesn't want
to talk to you.
314
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:43,400
Very interesting. Huh.
315
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,152
But he still wants
to talk to me.
316
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:50,074
I think it's time
you leave Le Petit Swordfish.
317
00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:53,160
Fine. We're leaving.
318
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,454
You're welcome
for the crab cakes.
319
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,914
They were mostly filler.
320
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,791
Bitch, I didn't make 'em.
321
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,670
-Oh, my God.
-This is so cute.
322
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:05,506
Does that look like it'd be
the right size for me? Okay.
323
00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:08,175
You can just add it
to my friend's bill.
324
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,593
Thank you.
325
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,095
[imitates gunshot]
326
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,306
Hey, Jackie, knock, knock.
We got a late change
327
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,725
to the Infinite Luxuries
Essentials Infinity Scarf.
328
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,561
We are pulling
the Grecian Greige.
329
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:22,314
You good with that?
330
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,483
You got it, hon?
331
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:28,612
Jackie?
332
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,614
intense music
333
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,700
334
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,161
Jackie?!
335
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:39,164
Fuck... my... life!
336
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:40,749
Jackie, are you in there?
337
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,459
It's Deb.
338
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,003
Well, is Jackie in there
with you?
339
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:49,008
-No?
-Wrong answer, Deb!
340
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,467
Arch your back, and then
341
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,011
you're gonna feel it
in your hamstrings.
342
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:53,262
Okay, well, that's how
I fucked up my shoulder--
343
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:54,680
-Hey!
-Aah!
344
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,223
Beena!
345
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,475
Actionable! What the fuck?
346
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,602
You what the fuck!
Have you seen Jackie?
347
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:03,355
Beautiful You's on in 15,
and she's nowhere to be found.
348
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,898
Well, did you check
her dressing room?
349
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:08,318
Oh, I didn't think of that.
Great idea.
350
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,653
Did you text her?
351
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,905
Oh, what a great idea
to text her.
352
00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:13,949
You know, I guess
it just didn't occur to me
353
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:17,161
'cause I'm just a stupid woman
with a giant Hello Kitty head
354
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,288
that goes "Meow, meow, meow"!
355
00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:20,706
-Go help me find her!
-I've got to go.
356
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,750
Eyes on Jackie, eyes on Jackie.
357
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,672
What's going on?
358
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,549
Jackie's missing.
359
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,342
[gasps]
Who's going on for her?
360
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:34,053
Is she okay? Was it drugs?
Who's going on for her?
361
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:36,305
-I don't know. What? No. Stop!
-I think I can do it.
362
00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:37,890
I think it should be me.
She would have wanted that.
363
00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:39,808
-I don't think she's dead.
-I know. I'm just saying
364
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:41,894
I can do it.
I can save the show.
365
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:43,395
Okay, go, yeah.
Go to hair and makeup.
366
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,022
Okay, boss. Wait, wait.
367
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,066
Bangerz? Yay? Nay?
368
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,484
Not mad.
369
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:49,985
[squeals]
370
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,197
Jackie's missing,
but I got it covered.
371
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,324
Beth Ann's already
in hair and makeup.
372
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:03,707
-[sighs]
-I'm sorry.
373
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,709
[door closes]
374
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:08,170
contemplative music
375
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:10,255
376
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,343
Mmm.
377
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:15,761
Joanna?
378
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,056
Hmm. Oh, you're here,
uh, in my--
379
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:23,435
You're gonna fill in
for Jackie on Beautiful You.
380
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:26,313
What? Where's Jackie?
Is she okay?
381
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:29,858
-She's fine.
-Okay, well, um...
382
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,111
I'm really flattered,
but I just...
383
00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,279
You know, I wouldn't want Jackie
to feel, like,
384
00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,615
weird or-or, like, betrayed.
385
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:39,284
She just betrayed
the whole fucking network.
386
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:40,911
Now, listen,
387
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:44,790
you've been doing really well
here, you know?
388
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,792
You've grown a lot.
389
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,794
And if this goes well,
390
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,296
maybe you get your own show.
391
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:56,385
Joanna, I really need
your help right now.
392
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,762
You know what it's like
393
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,473
to have stress on top of cancer.
394
00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:04,309
Now, you don't want to do it,
395
00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,228
I can always send in Beth Ann.
396
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,896
Huh?
397
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,234
Heather, that is not
a nose contour.
398
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,236
I asked for Dubai, not Kabul.
399
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,238
Hi. Beth Ann, I'm sorry.
400
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,656
We need the chair.
401
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,199
[woman]
Going live in ten, people.
402
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,201
What?
403
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,369
[quietly]
I tried.
404
00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:37,426
I hate you!
405
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:38,802
[grunts]
406
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,430
-She didn't mean that.
-I think she did.
407
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:42,848
-Yeah, she did.
-Okay.
408
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,933
[upbeat theme music playing]
409
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:46,768
[female announcer]
Next up on Beautiful You,
410
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:49,605
Jackie Stilton brings
you amazing deals and steals
411
00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:52,191
to make a more beautiful you.
412
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:54,526
Welcome to Beautiful You
413
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:58,197
Welcome
to Beautiful You.
414
00:19:58,238 --> 00:20:01,658
Hello, beautiful people,
and welcome to Beautiful You.
415
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,368
I'm Joanna Gold,
416
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:05,871
and I am so sad that Jackie
couldn't be here today,
417
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,957
but one thing that I do know is
that she'd want us to have fun.
418
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,542
Now let's look
at our first product.
419
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,128
It's an absolute favorite
of Jackie's.
420
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:16,715
This is the Infinite Luxury
Essentials Infinity Scarf.
421
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,884
Now... the problem
422
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:21,094
with traditional scarves is
that they end,
423
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:23,722
and not always
where we want 'em to.
424
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:26,516
But this scarf,
it goes on forever.
425
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:28,185
Do we love?
426
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,187
Okay, and I just want
to show you with this scarf
427
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,897
how many times
I can wrap it around my neck.
428
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:35,400
It's really incredible.
Okay, here's one.
429
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,027
And two.
430
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,528
And three times.
431
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,614
Hmm? And four times.
432
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,366
-And guess what.
-[man] And cutting to "B."
433
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:43,867
Time number five.
434
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,285
Now, here's what I love,
435
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,621
and I am so freaking jazzed
about this.
436
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,998
For the first time ever,
437
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,251
Fabulously Ageless
is offering us
438
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:56,421
this breathtaking,
128-ounce, pump-top jug.
439
00:20:56,463 --> 00:20:58,423
Now, we have a caller right now.
440
00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,842
I'm hear... I'm just hearing
that we have a caller.
441
00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,719
This is Cristal from Boca Raton.
442
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:03,887
Cristal, hello. How are you?
443
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,389
[Southern accent]
Hi!
444
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:07,266
Now, tell me, Cristal,
445
00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:10,435
how many gorgeous tubs and jugs
of cream did you get today?
446
00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:12,437
Oh, no,
I don't want any cream tubs.
447
00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:13,772
[Jackie] [no accent]
I was just wondering where
448
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,440
you got that pretty bracelet
449
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:18,527
with that lobster claw clasp.
450
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:20,279
Just has that air
451
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,571
of sophistication, you know?
452
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,991
contemplative music
453
00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:26,493
454
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:30,622
Uh...
455
00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:35,294
Well, I can't remember exactly
where I got, uh, my bracelet.
456
00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:37,004
But we are talking creams
right now,
457
00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:41,300
and it is time to, uh,
move on to the serum.
458
00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:45,137
So, Cristal, I'm going to, uh,
bid you a good afternoon,
459
00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:47,472
and we'll talk
to you soon, then.
460
00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:52,477
But... and, and, and now
onto the serum, which I...
461
00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:54,062
was a favorite of mine.
462
00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:56,481
Oh, it's Mr. Meat.
463
00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:58,692
Hey, Gumdrop.
Those are cute shoes.
464
00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:01,653
Oh, what? Thank you.
You're so sweet.
465
00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:04,990
[both chuckle]
466
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:07,659
Oh, my God. I swear,
if one more person says
467
00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:10,746
I look like Zooey Deschanel in
these bangs, I'm gonna scream.
468
00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:12,664
Oh, honey, you're so much
prettier than Zooey.
469
00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:15,167
-What?! [laughs] No.
-[laughs]
470
00:22:15,208 --> 00:22:16,835
Yeah.
471
00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:18,462
[sighs]
472
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:21,423
Oh. What is that?
What are you doing?
473
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:22,924
I'm just putting one last rub
on this steak,
474
00:22:22,966 --> 00:22:24,468
and I got to let it sit
for an hour.
475
00:22:24,509 --> 00:22:26,511
-You want to try some?
-No, no, no.
476
00:22:26,553 --> 00:22:28,847
I don't eat red meat
'cause Austin's against it,
477
00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:31,725
'cause it's... it's unhealthy,
and we like to keep it natch.
478
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,352
'Cause we don't believe
in hospitals
479
00:22:33,393 --> 00:22:35,020
'cause of the 5G, et cetera,
480
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:37,397
and all the carcinogens
and stuff, so, you know?
481
00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:39,399
I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about.
482
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:41,818
But I do know, what Austin
don't know won't hurt him.
483
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:44,613
Come on. Come on.
484
00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:55,415
Oh, my God.
485
00:22:55,457 --> 00:22:58,001
Yeah. That's been frozen
for 72 hours.
486
00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:01,004
Oh, whoa, whoa.
487
00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,673
Well...
488
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:05,050
-Ooh!
-Mmm!
489
00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:07,719
[both moaning]
490
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,557
Darcy?
491
00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:14,726
Yes.
492
00:23:14,768 --> 00:23:17,312
Sit down.
493
00:23:29,783 --> 00:23:32,994
You might think
I don't see you.
494
00:23:33,995 --> 00:23:35,664
But I do.
495
00:23:37,457 --> 00:23:39,876
Oh.
496
00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:42,212
Okay.
497
00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:51,847
That's for you.
498
00:23:58,353 --> 00:24:00,480
You go have fun, okay?
499
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,867
[door closes]
500
00:24:11,908 --> 00:24:13,869
slow, gentle music
501
00:24:13,910 --> 00:24:15,954
502
00:24:29,509 --> 00:24:31,928
[retching]
503
00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:34,848
[dog barking in distance]
504
00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:45,859
Jackie?
505
00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:49,029
Jackie, please.
506
00:24:50,697 --> 00:24:52,741
[indistinct chatter]
507
00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:56,995
[sighs]
508
00:24:57,037 --> 00:24:58,997
Boo, I need to talk--
509
00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,457
-You're so good.
-I'm so bad.
510
00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:02,250
-I'm so fucking bad.
-You're so good. Oh!
511
00:25:02,292 --> 00:25:03,919
-[Perry] I'm so fucking bad.
-You're so good.
512
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,670
-[Perry] Yes. Yes.
-Oh, oh, oh!
513
00:25:05,712 --> 00:25:07,714
-[Perry] Yes...
-Oh, my God, you're good at sex.
514
00:25:07,756 --> 00:25:08,798
-[Perry] I know.
-Oh, my God, you're...
515
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,134
-[knocking]
-Go away!
516
00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:13,595
[knocking]
517
00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:15,013
Jackie, will you let me in?
518
00:25:15,055 --> 00:25:17,349
-[knocking]
-Please?
519
00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:19,017
[knocking]
520
00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:21,686
[Jackie sighs]
521
00:25:21,728 --> 00:25:23,897
[beeping]
522
00:25:25,857 --> 00:25:27,817
[automated voice] Disarmed.
523
00:25:27,859 --> 00:25:29,986
What are you doing here?
524
00:25:30,028 --> 00:25:32,197
[sighs]
I'm so sorry.
525
00:25:32,239 --> 00:25:34,366
Can I please explain?
526
00:25:34,407 --> 00:25:35,867
No. I don't want to hear.
527
00:25:35,909 --> 00:25:38,995
Jackie, I... I just...
528
00:25:39,037 --> 00:25:40,872
I got thrown into it, okay?
529
00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:45,126
And, by the way,
it felt horrible.
530
00:25:45,168 --> 00:25:47,754
Didn't look that way.
Looked like it felt great.
531
00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:49,548
[sighs]
532
00:25:49,589 --> 00:25:52,551
Look, if I'm being honest,
I just...
533
00:25:52,592 --> 00:25:55,762
I wanted to be you.
534
00:25:55,804 --> 00:25:58,390
You have this, like,
very glamorous life,
535
00:25:58,431 --> 00:26:00,267
and you're so put together,
and...
536
00:26:00,308 --> 00:26:01,768
[sighs]
537
00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:12,237
All right, come in.
538
00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:13,947
Thank you.
539
00:26:13,989 --> 00:26:15,657
[sighs]
540
00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:17,742
"A Little Respect"
by Erasure
541
00:26:22,622 --> 00:26:26,334
I try to discover
542
00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:31,214
A little something
to make me sweeter
543
00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:34,593
Oh, baby, refrain
544
00:26:34,634 --> 00:26:38,763
From breaking my heart
545
00:26:38,805 --> 00:26:43,018
I'm so in love with you
546
00:26:43,059 --> 00:26:47,856
I'll be forever blue
547
00:26:47,897 --> 00:26:50,275
That you give me no reason
548
00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:53,153
Why you make me work
so hard
549
00:26:53,194 --> 00:26:55,447
That you give me no,
that you give me no
550
00:26:55,488 --> 00:26:57,657
That you give me
no, that you give me no
551
00:26:57,699 --> 00:27:00,118
Soul
552
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:04,039
I hear you calling
553
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:09,002
Oh, baby, please
554
00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:12,297
Give a little respect
555
00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:17,344
To me
556
00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:25,101
And if I should falter
557
00:27:25,143 --> 00:27:26,936
Would you open
558
00:27:26,978 --> 00:27:29,814
Your arms out to me?
559
00:27:29,856 --> 00:27:33,652
We can make love, not war
560
00:27:33,693 --> 00:27:37,572
And live at peace
with our hearts
561
00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:41,326
I'm so in love with you
562
00:27:41,368 --> 00:27:42,827
[man]
No traipsing.
66417
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