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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:04,338 ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, I was obsessed with musical theater. 2 00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:06,840 From Jesus Christ Superstar to Phantom of the Opera, 3 00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:08,476 I loved the stage. 4 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:09,777 At least, most of the time. 5 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:12,313 People, the moment has arrived. 6 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,947 My dearest theater students 7 00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:16,384 and kids who do stage crew for some reason... 8 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,618 I work best in the shadows. 9 00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:18,752 No one cares, Dan. 10 00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:21,789 This year, William Penn Academy will be performing 11 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:24,992 the most important musical of our time, 12 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,660 Fiddler on the Roof! 13 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,397 Oh! Oh! Oh! 14 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:30,831 Meh. "Meh"? 15 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,167 Since when does Adam Goldberg "meh" a musical? 16 00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:36,304 Fiddler's just so heavy and dreary and Russian. 17 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:39,006 I'm more into the happy toe-tapping musicals, 18 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,941 like Music Man or Pippin 19 00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:42,343 or not Fiddler. 20 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,678 So, you're not gonna even audition? 21 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,647 I wanted us to be Golde and Tevye. 22 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,382 They're the power couple of peasant Russia. 23 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:50,951 Like Luke and Laura, but sadder. 24 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,153 Sorry, girl. 25 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,422 As long as it's Fiddler on the Roof, I ain't doing it. 26 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:55,689 You're doing it. 27 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,958 But you hate all musicals with every fiber of your being. 28 00:00:57,991 --> 00:01:00,094 Of course! They're long and boring, 29 00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:02,830 and they're about cats or painting wagons. 30 00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:05,032 But Fiddler on the Roof? The best. 31 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,335 Well, it reminds me of Pops' sad relatives 32 00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:08,702 who visit us from the old country. 33 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:11,105 Their clothes are all schmutzy and smell like turnips. 34 00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:13,541 Adam, you have to do this play. 35 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,277 Our people have a few special things we're all proud of... 36 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:19,747 Sandy Koufax, The Fonz, Sammy Davis Jr., 37 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,250 and Fiddler on the Roof. 38 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:23,717 Gah, fine! 39 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,553 I'll audition to be in the chorus or something. 40 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,720 Absolutely not! 41 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,822 In my house, it's Tevye or nothing. 42 00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:30,258 I don't want to be the lead! 43 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,625 You're gonna be Tevye, damn it! 44 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:34,762 Now put on my grandfather's old Russian coat and sing for me. 45 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,063 It's so heavy. 46 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,366 Like the weight of a man with too many daughters. 47 00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,100 How do I already smell? How? 48 00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,602 That's the smell of greatness. 49 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,737 Now show me your shimmy. I don't wanna shimmy. 50 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,039 Shimmy for your father, damn it. Like this. 51 00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:47,808 It's in our blood and our shoulders. 52 00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:52,480 If that's how you shimmy, damn it, 53 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,114 we got to go back to fundamentals. 54 00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:56,116 Come on, put your game face on. Do it! 55 00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,785 Stop riding my back, man! 56 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,019 I'm doing my best. 57 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,621 Stop. What's going on in here? 58 00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,224 Not now, Barry. Adam's form is off. 59 00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:04,858 I got to coach some sense into the kid. 60 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,228 Sounds to me like a father demanding perfection 61 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,929 and telling his son he's not good enough. 62 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,464 That's exactly what's happening. 63 00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:12,566 Damn it, I want that! Why? 64 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,502 'Cause it's my dream to have a sports dad 65 00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:17,471 who spazzes out in the stands and calls me a lazy failure 66 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:18,606 who needs to play harder. 67 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,040 Great. He's yours. Take him. 68 00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:21,642 Oh, no. If we're gonna win this part, 69 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,244 we got to buckle down and dig in. 70 00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:24,878 Fine, forget sports! 71 00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:26,980 Whatever your dumb thing is, I'll do it. 72 00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,115 It's Fiddler on the Roof. 73 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,683 Great. I'll go on the roof right now with a fiddle. 74 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,051 You don't even have one! 75 00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:32,920 I'm gonna go bongo on the roof. Where's the ladder? 76 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,688 Do not get the ladder. Ladder it is. 77 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:37,758 Do not go in that garage and touch my ladder, moron! 78 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:38,926 I mean it! 79 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,528 Too late, theater sports dad. 80 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,162 I'll send a rope down for my bongos. 81 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:45,933 * I'm twisted up inside 82 00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:48,336 * But nonetheless I feel the need to say 83 00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:53,441 * I don't know the future 84 00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:56,810 * But the past keeps getting clearer every day * 85 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,146 ADULT ADAM: It was November 1st, 1980-something, 86 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,950 and my mom and sister were helping Geoff prep for his SATs. 87 00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,452 I failed, didn't I? Oh, God, I failed. 88 00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:05,619 I'm not going to college! 89 00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:06,720 I'm gonna live under a bridge, 90 00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:07,988 and I'm gonna have to use the wall as a bathroom. 91 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,390 Dude, I am here for you. 92 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:10,558 No matter how dumb 93 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:11,825 the test says you are. 94 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,562 Okay, let's see. You got... 95 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:15,996 1,540! 96 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,865 Babe, I am so sorr... Wait, what? 97 00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,567 1,540? Holy poop! 98 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,168 Yeah, "Holy poop" is right. 99 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,304 I can go to college now! And a wide variety. 100 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:24,505 Yes. Wow. 101 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,507 That's, like, a super good score. 102 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,008 Is it wrong? It must be wrong. 103 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,109 I mean, how is that possible? 104 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,311 Well, I mean, I get straight As 105 00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,579 and I study all the time. 106 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,046 Wait, did you not know I was smart? 107 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,716 No! I mean, I do hear you talk about homework a lot, 108 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,518 but all I see is your cute, dumb face. 109 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:41,289 Oh, young Geoffrey, your mother is going to plotz. 110 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,856 Aside from grandchildren, 111 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:46,560 braggable SAT scores are the greatest gift a child can give. 112 00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:49,129 I know. I can for sure go to UCLA now. 113 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,131 Wait, but that UC is in LA. 114 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:53,133 And LA stands for Los Angeles. 115 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,201 It's where my dad went. 116 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,503 And doing what other people want 117 00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:56,837 makes me happy 'cause I'm a pleaser. 118 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:57,905 Bye, babe. Love you. 119 00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,907 1,540. 120 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,074 Holy ! 121 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,510 I can't believe this. 122 00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:04,044 That stupid goof-ass genius 123 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,913 is gonna leave Philly and never look back. 124 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,381 Oh, well, can you blame him? 125 00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:10,584 Everybody in LA eats sushi and has hair just like their dog, 126 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:13,186 and the cops are so nice they can't solve crimes, 127 00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:14,488 so Axel Foley helps 'em. 128 00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:15,956 That's all from Beverly Hills Cop. 129 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,157 Oh, such a good movie. 130 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:18,359 It has my name 131 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:22,029 and that Axel Foley has an infectious giggle. 132 00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:25,098 Stop talking about Axel Foley! 133 00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:27,501 I will not let Geoff go to LA. 134 00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:29,337 Oh, squishy... 135 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,905 Some things are just out of your control. 136 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,642 Not if I make sure he tanks those SATs. 137 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:37,511 Shame on you for even thinking such a thing. 138 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:39,112 If it's one rule I live by, 139 00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:41,382 it's that you can't smother your loved ones. 140 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:42,816 Um, hello? 141 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:45,118 Remember, I wanted to apply to college in California? 142 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:47,287 You tried to sabotage my SATs 143 00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:49,923 by teaching me fake vocabulary words. 144 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,625 I swear on my life 145 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:54,462 nothing like that has even remotely happened. 146 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:57,765 I came up with some more vocab cards for you to memorize. 147 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,767 Thanks, Mom. "Scubulence"? 148 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,102 ADULT ADAM: Yep, my mom taught Erica these absurd words 149 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,837 so she'd tank her test and never leave. 150 00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,105 That's a weird word. 151 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:08,976 I have made enormous strides as a human being and mama 152 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,210 over the past few years. 153 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,912 Truly, I have changed. 154 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,246 No, you haven't. 155 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,683 You've had the same insane hair, sweaters, 156 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,851 and obsession with your kids since forever. 157 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,087 Erica. One of my biggest regrets 158 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,657 was trying to fool you with those fake SAT cards. 159 00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:26,660 Trust me, do not make the same mistake. 160 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,095 Damn it, you're right. 161 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,631 I can't do to Geoff what you did to me. 162 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,699 I could never stoop that low. 163 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:32,833 ADULT ADAM: And yet, she did. 164 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,569 That day, my sister went full Beverly Goldberg 165 00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:37,270 to keep the love of her life close by. 166 00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:38,539 Plorpf! Yes! 167 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,608 ADULT ADAM: While my sister was ready to con Geoff, 168 00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,976 I was trying to bargain my way out of Fiddler. 169 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,879 Mr. Goldberg, welcome to what I can only assume 170 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:48,416 is the single most important moment of your young life. 171 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,851 Um, I'm thinking this year we don't do this dance 172 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,019 where I put you in the awkward position 173 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,487 of having to give me a good part 174 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,022 even though I can't sing or act. 175 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,458 But won't your mom just march down here and yell at me 176 00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,326 when I give you a lousy part because of your screechy voice? 177 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,661 I give you my word, 178 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,630 this year there will be no Beverly Goldberg. 179 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:05,132 I'm only here 'cause I promised my dad I'd audition, 180 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,667 so just throw me a few lines and I'll be on my way. 181 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,268 You got yourself a deal. 182 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,737 ADULT ADAM: And so I hatched my plan... 183 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,071 ...to half-ass my way through Fiddler. 184 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:15,743 Dude, I got Lazar Wolf, the handsome town stud. 185 00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:17,678 That's typecasting Dave Kim likes. 186 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,012 I'm the constable. 187 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,048 Six lines, no songs, done by intermission. 188 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,082 Dream role. 189 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,619 Move. Move your tiny bodies. 190 00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:26,854 Let's go. Hey! 191 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,656 Dad? What are you doing here? 192 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,023 Today's our big day! 193 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,526 I wanted to see our name at the top of the roster. 194 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,727 It's more near the bottom, 195 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:36,296 but it's still a very meaty part, the constable. 196 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,566 What? We wanted Tevye or nothing. 197 00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:40,501 Well... Matt Schernecke got it. 198 00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,169 MURRAY: That scrub is Tevye? 199 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,337 He's got a warbly voice and no stage presence. 200 00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:45,506 What's that? 201 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:46,907 Mazel Tov, kid. Way to go, Matt. 202 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,476 Oh, okay. Don't worry, champ. 203 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,243 I'll get you that part if it's the last thing I do. 204 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:54,414 No! Matt Schernecke is just a boy with a kind spirit! 205 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:55,683 You do not do anything of the sort. 206 00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,050 I... You promise to me, sir. 207 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,953 95% of this game is mental. 208 00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:03,223 We're gonna go into Schernecke's head and make him crack. 209 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,592 You just learn the lines. 210 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,927 Me, I'll take care of Schernecke. 211 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,029 ADULT ADAM: That day, my dad wasn't the only one 212 00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,197 with a card up his sleeve. 213 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:13,133 "Torkulent"? It means delighted and a little scared. 214 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,234 "Flimjam"? 215 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,436 To run backwards in a zig-zag pattern. 216 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,606 Man, I didn't know any of these SAT words. 217 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:19,940 I'm so lucky I have you. 218 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,742 You really are. I'm a great person. 219 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:22,976 No, she's not. 220 00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:24,678 Mom! I'm sorry, Geoffrey. 221 00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:25,879 As a yenta, I have to tell you, 222 00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:28,048 she is trying to keep you from going to UCLA. 223 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:29,449 Come on, Erica would never do that. 224 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,384 Who you gonna believe? Your adoring girlfriend 225 00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:33,921 or this needy blond-helmeted guilt monster? 226 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,088 You, obviously. 227 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,757 Our love is built on an unbreakable trust 228 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:37,858 that I cherish more than... 229 00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:38,992 Damn it, it's me! 230 00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:40,227 I'm a terrible person, 231 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,896 and you should just flimjam away from me as fast as you can. 232 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:43,997 Oh, my God. 233 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,466 My girlfriend would actually tank my future 234 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,536 just to be with me? 235 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,971 You love me so much, and I love you, too! 236 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,105 Did not see that coming. 237 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,707 Oh, man, I'd give anything for you 238 00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:54,908 to come with me to California! 239 00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,409 Wait, why can't I? 240 00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,345 LA is the center of the music business. 241 00:07:58,378 --> 00:07:59,880 They have a building that looks like records. 242 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,915 Well, you can't come with me because... 243 00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,286 Mom. 244 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,755 You said you've changed, right? 245 00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,489 Well, I have said that recently, yes. 246 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,792 Then this is it. I'm asking for your support on this, 247 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,126 and if you really have changed, 248 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,494 then there's no answer but yes. 249 00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,564 It's a yes. 250 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,031 What? Huh? 251 00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:19,466 What is that? I'm lost. 252 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,634 Yes. Was that yes? 253 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:21,802 Yes. 254 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,370 I think I heard it that time. She said yes! 255 00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:24,572 Ahh! 256 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,006 See? Yes, I have... 257 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,307 I have changed. 258 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,976 I have changed so, so much, but, uh... 259 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,443 Oh, Pops! 260 00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:31,612 He won't let you go. 261 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,346 Go What? 262 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,749 I just came in for an onion bialy. 263 00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:37,350 Erica wants to move to LA. 264 00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,652 LA? 265 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,988 Wow! That's fantastic. 266 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,023 Hollywood is so magical. 267 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,291 I'll for sure visit you. 268 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,793 No! What? 269 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:49,529 Uh, to be clear, I have changed, and I totally support you, 270 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:52,600 but, uh, your dad will not allow you 271 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,201 to move to LA without knowing a soul. 272 00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,804 Well, actually, we have family there. 273 00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:58,405 Aunt Selma, remember? 274 00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,007 Wait, I have relatives there? 275 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,142 Yes, thank you, Dad. 276 00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,077 Her daughter Marci's out there, too. 277 00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:05,813 She... She's in advertising. 278 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,547 Thank you, Father. So helpful. 279 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,217 She does all those catchy commercial jingles. 280 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,719 They pay very good money. 281 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:12,820 So helpful, Dad. 282 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:13,887 Holy crap! 283 00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,723 I don't just have family in LA. I have an in! 284 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:18,692 You should send her a tape showing off your beautiful voice, 285 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,160 so she can hire you. 286 00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,395 What a great idea no one asked you to suggest. 287 00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,164 I'm gonna go record some jingles right now. 288 00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,565 I'm gonna go familiarize myself 289 00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,067 with the Los Angeles freeway system. 290 00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:32,172 ADULT ADAM: Yep, my mom was cornered into acting like a changed smother. 291 00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:33,874 Meanwhile, I was doing whatever I could 292 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,042 not to act in Fiddler. 293 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,177 Channel the character. You're Tevye. 294 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,245 Take yourself there. 295 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,247 And perform. 296 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,986 I'm having a hard time focusing. 297 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,689 Balls! My dad's here to rattle Schernecke's cage. Huh? 298 00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:50,590 What? You heard me. This is bad. 299 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,393 Mr. Goldberg, if you're gonna watch rehearsal, 300 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,928 you have to respect my stage. 301 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,563 Sure. It's your team. Manage it. 302 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,731 All right. 303 00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,266 Take it from the top, Matthew, all right? 304 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:00,768 Be Tevye. 305 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,937 Feel the burden of the humble dairyman 306 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,538 with five handsome daughters. 307 00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:07,074 Bah! Mr. Goldberg! 308 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,643 I'm sorry. I don't buy this kid having five daughters. 309 00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:10,744 Do you? 310 00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:12,245 Yes. I buy it...enough. 311 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,914 C'mon, the kid's a tomato can. 312 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,049 Can't hit the broad side of his mark. 313 00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,284 This adult man is hurting my feelings. 314 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:18,919 MURRAY: Sack up, Schernecke. 315 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,221 You gotta have thick skin if you want to make it in the big show. 316 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,956 Adam, is your dad gonna be here the whole time? 317 00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:24,792 I don't know, man. He took the week off work. 318 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,660 The whole thing's been off the rails from the start. 319 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,662 I just want my kid to have a shot at the bigs. 320 00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:29,930 Fine. If you pipe down, 321 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,231 I'll make him the understudy for Tevye. 322 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:32,565 Does that work for you? 323 00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,902 So, that means I'll have no lines 324 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,236 and get to just hang in the wings? 325 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,671 'Cause, yeah, that super works. 326 00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:39,606 Whoo! It's on now! 327 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,875 You better watch your back, fake Tevye. 328 00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:43,443 'Cause we're comin' for ya. 329 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,979 Dad, stop making veiled threats to Matt Schernecke. 330 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,514 They're kind of not veiled at all. 331 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,082 I'm so sorry. 332 00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:52,452 ADULT ADAM: With her sights set on LA, 333 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,654 my sister prepped an epic audition 334 00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,056 to get into the jingle business. 335 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,926 Hello and welcome, product lovers of all ages. 336 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:02,295 Prepare to be delighted by my delightful jingle medley. 337 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,432 I'm already delighted, but I'm prepared for more. 338 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:09,903 * The best part of waking up is Folgers in your... * 339 00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:12,639 * Plop-plop, fizz-fizz oh, what a relief... * 340 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,942 * Honeycomb's big yeah, yeah, yeah * 341 00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,644 * Gimme a break gimme a break... * 342 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,780 * What would you do-oo-ooh for... * 343 00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:21,849 * An Oscar Mayer wiener... * 344 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,250 * By Mennen! * 345 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:26,553 * Mommy, wow I'm a big kid... * 346 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:29,022 * Meow, meow, meow, meow meow, meow, meow, meow 347 00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:31,024 * Meow, meow, meow, meow meow, meow, meow, meow * 348 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,459 Wow! 349 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:35,562 I don't know what half of those are selling, but I'm buying. 350 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:36,663 Mom, what do you think? 351 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,731 Please, no! 352 00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:39,099 What? Ugh... 353 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:42,269 Got some bad news from cousin Marci last night. 354 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:43,837 Just out of the blue like that? 355 00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:46,006 You haven't talked in 15 years. 356 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,675 Yeah, well, I've been missing her. 357 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,277 And it's a good thing I called, too, 358 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:54,281 because she told me that for legal reasons, 359 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,817 she can't listen to jingles from existing products. 360 00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,685 But I worked so hard on these. 361 00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,820 I was gonna mail her a tape. 362 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:02,289 No! No, you can't. 363 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:05,558 It has to do with, uh, torts and briefs and subpoenas. 364 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:08,061 I could've been a lawyer, so it made sense to me. 365 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,529 Well, how am I gonna impress her with my jingle voice 366 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,331 if I can't do any jingles? 367 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,866 Good news... 368 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:16,603 She told me about some, uh, 369 00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:19,072 new products that have yet to be jingled. 370 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,141 Name it, and I'll sing it. Hit me. 371 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,976 ADULT ADAM: Even though my mom swore she changed, 372 00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:25,345 in the end, she couldn't help but lie. 373 00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,614 Dr. Steinman's... Butt Grease. 374 00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:30,017 I'm very curious about this product. 375 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:34,087 Dr. Steinman's a very respected tushie surgeon. 376 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:36,623 He developed the healing ointment himself, 377 00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,391 and now he's sharing it with the world. 378 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,527 Steinman... I got to sing that? 379 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,929 It's not so easy on the ear. 380 00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:43,096 It's not great. 381 00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:46,433 But yet, the next one is even worse. 382 00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:49,169 Barnaby's Baltic Sea Juice. 383 00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:50,337 I don't want that product. 384 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,972 There's more. 385 00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:55,242 Magellan's Ol' Fashioned Year Round 'Nog 386 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:58,045 for people who want eggnog, but not just at Christmas. 387 00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,980 I'd like a good 'nog in the summer. 388 00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,882 Well, if it's up to me, you're gonna get one. 389 00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,583 And I know you can do it, Schmoo. 390 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,552 And if not, you can just live here forever. 391 00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:06,887 We'll play it by ear. 392 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,588 Thanks for always being there for me, Mom. 393 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:09,656 You're awesome. 394 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:10,958 Time to get jingling. 395 00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,827 Okay, Adam, time to run that choreography, 396 00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,195 so give me the shimmy. 397 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,529 ADULT ADAM: I was back at rehearsal, 398 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,565 but unfortunately, so was my dad. 399 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,367 Is that all you got, AG? 400 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,903 Put your bat on the ball. Let the big dog eat! 401 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,838 ADULT ADAM: When Matt's dad heard I got the understudy, 402 00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:26,639 he came to check out the competition. 403 00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:29,009 Come on there, Matty boy. Just how we practiced. 404 00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:32,445 ADULT ADAM: Turns out the only thing worse than one sports dad is two. 405 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,546 First, they cheered. 406 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:35,015 Come on, AG! Come on, now! Let's go. 407 00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:36,316 Go big or go home, Matty boy. Look alive! 408 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,684 ADULT ADAM: Then, they bragged. 409 00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,452 My son is a five-tool player. 410 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:43,390 He sings, dances, acts, juggles, and mimes. 411 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,491 ADULT ADAM: Next came the insults. 412 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:45,993 Give it a rest, Schernecke. 413 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,560 Your kid's no Tevye. 414 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:50,297 That wheelbarrow's got more charisma. What did you say? 415 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,831 ADULT ADAM: And then the head games. 416 00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,766 Afraid we're gonna take your spot in the rotation? 417 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,168 'Cause you should be. 418 00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:56,436 Oh, please. 419 00:13:56,469 --> 00:14:00,173 Your son deedle dye-dles when he should be dye-dle deedle-ing! 420 00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:02,309 ADULT ADAM: And finally, the gloves came off. 421 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,944 Stop kicking it on me first! 422 00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:05,445 Our dads suck. 423 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:06,613 They really do. 424 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,248 ADULT ADAM: As our sports dads ruined theater, 425 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,483 Erica was rehearsing songs for fake products 426 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,885 my mom lied to her about. 427 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:14,988 * It's for your bottom but it's the tops 428 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,991 * Find happiness in just a glop 429 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,793 * From Dr. Steinman to every shop 430 00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:23,330 * The one butt grease that never stops * 431 00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:28,135 Wow. That is shockingly good. 432 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,602 It's already stuck in my head and driving me nuts. 433 00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:30,670 You're a genius. 434 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,105 And that's not all! 435 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,909 * Pour it cold or drink it warm 436 00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:38,645 * It's like seafood in liquid form 437 00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:42,082 * It's Barnaby's the juice of the sea * 438 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,817 Wow. You really worked hard on these. 439 00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,086 Okay, there's gonna be lines out the door 440 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,687 to drink that salty fish juice. 441 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,822 And this next one is dedicated to you. 442 00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,324 Oh, that's not necessary. 443 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:52,459 No, it is. 444 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:55,295 You talked to Marci and made all this happen for me. 445 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,330 You have changed, and I love you. 446 00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:58,865 Just focus on the song. 447 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,501 * You gotta remember 'nog ain't just for December 448 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:04,071 * You can 'nog all summer afternoon... * 449 00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:06,006 It's all a lie! What? 450 00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,740 None of these products are real, 451 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,410 and frankly, I don't get how you thought they were. 452 00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:13,246 'Cause you swore it was real and that you changed! 453 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,049 Okay, I'm sorry I freaked out about you moving, 454 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:19,286 but good thing is, I stopped before any damage was done. 455 00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:20,820 But there was damage! 456 00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:22,522 So much damage! 457 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:25,658 I sent these insane jingles to Marci. Wazzat? 458 00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:27,427 I sent her a cassette! 459 00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,062 She's gonna think I'm some crazy person 460 00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:31,898 who peddles weird oyster water and all-purpose 'nog. 461 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,433 There is no going back from this. 462 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:34,968 Okay, Mama will fix it. 463 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:37,237 I'll call Marci and explain everything. 464 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:40,773 Sure, explain how it's my SATs all over again, but worse. 465 00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,242 Don't say that. 466 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,776 It's true. 467 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,379 For the first time since dropping out of college, 468 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:47,747 I had hope. 469 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:48,982 Thanks a lot. 470 00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,390 ADULT ADAM: My sports dad embarrassed me in the theater world, 471 00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:59,259 and I was ready to close the curtain. 472 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:02,062 Stupid heavy jacket from the old country! 473 00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,596 Whoa. 474 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:04,897 Everything okay, man? 475 00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:07,800 No, Ruben Amaro Jr., everything's not okay. 476 00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,336 What happened, bro? 477 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,471 You break up with that girl who dated me freshman year? 478 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,973 No, and I'd prefer we not discuss that. 479 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:17,110 It's my dad. He insists on coming to every single practice. 480 00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:19,312 I hear ya. My dad comes to every practice, too. 481 00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,281 So you get how much it sucks. 482 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,250 No. My dad's my best friend. 483 00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:24,751 I'm almost done, champ! 484 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,253 Let's warm up that arm before practice. 485 00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:27,654 Be there in a minute, Pop. 486 00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,822 Just talking to my ex-girlfriend's little boyfriend here. 487 00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:31,624 I love how you're always there for everyone. 488 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,925 You taught me well, Dad. 489 00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,027 I love you, son. 490 00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:35,328 I love you more! 491 00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:38,331 Wow. This is just like the total opposite of my experience. 492 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:39,432 What can I say? 493 00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:41,134 Ruben Sr. was an athlete himself, 494 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:42,835 so he knows how crazy sports dads can get. 495 00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,037 I re-gripped your bat, buddy. 496 00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:46,005 Super thoughtful, Dad! 497 00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:48,308 Yeah, last thing he wants is for me to get burnt out 498 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,643 so I fake an injury or quit altogether. 499 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:53,012 You're right! I can totally fake an injury! 500 00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:55,148 I'll pretend I lost my voice so I can't sing. 501 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:56,516 Wait, what sport do you play? 502 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,651 The greatest sport of all, theater. 503 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,188 Yeah, I kinda wish I knew that before I got involved. 504 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:03,156 There you are, AG. 505 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,625 Come on, you got the call. You're goin' in. 506 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,595 Bad news. Lost my voice. Whatcha gonna do? 507 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,863 Hydrate it. Suck on a lozenge. 508 00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,199 Get back out there! 509 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:13,633 Ruben, get away from that demanding father. 510 00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:14,701 He'll kill your spirit. 511 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:15,802 On it, Pop. 512 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:16,969 Who the hell's that? 513 00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,771 That is the wonderful father of Ruben Amaro Jr. 514 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:21,708 named Ruben Amaro Sr., and I wish that was us. 515 00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:23,843 That is us! I'm here. 516 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,378 I'm trying to help you, you moron! 517 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:26,479 Well, you're not! 518 00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:29,249 I hate this play, and now I hate all musicals. 519 00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:32,485 So thank you for taking my favorite thing in the world 520 00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:33,953 and ruining it. 521 00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,022 (MIKE + THE MECHANICS PLAYING THE LIVING YEARS) 522 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,426 Schmoo? 523 00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:41,428 Save your schmoos. I don't want to hear it from you. 524 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,396 I just got off the phone with cousin Marci. 525 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:44,964 Oh, God, well, what did you do now? 526 00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:46,032 Nothing. 527 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,801 Apparently, Marci played your jingles for her office, 528 00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:51,104 and they loved 'em. 529 00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:52,439 Thought it was a bold stunt. 530 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:53,773 Stunt? 531 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:56,576 You gave me those songs to make me look like a crazy person. 532 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,211 Well, they don't need to know that. 533 00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:00,713 That's great, but it doesn't make up for the fact 534 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:04,050 that you sabotaged me and you're never gonna change. 535 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,352 I know. 536 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:08,421 Truth is, I am a selfish, scheming mama bear 537 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:09,889 who can't let her kids leave 538 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,559 because she loves them so damn much. 539 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,294 And the worst thing is, 540 00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:17,730 I'll be like this 'til I'm 75 years old. 541 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,767 If that's your way of saying I'm sorry, it's not working. 542 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,035 I knew you were gonna say that. 543 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:27,474 So I thought maybe some new flash cards might help. 544 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,409 * Say it loud 545 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,577 Don't. 546 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,379 * Say it loud 547 00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:33,446 * Say it clear 548 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,881 Really not helping. 549 00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:36,449 * Whoa-oh, say it clear * 550 00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:37,750 God. 551 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,852 * You can listen 552 00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:40,920 Still a no. 553 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,956 * As well as you hear 554 00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:45,292 "Rapplepop," really? 555 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,962 * It's too late 556 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,598 * It's too late 557 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,065 Even if I'm in Los Angeles? 558 00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,567 * When we die 559 00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,869 * Whoa-oh, when we die 560 00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,905 * To admit 561 00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:01,808 * We don't see eye to eye... 562 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,876 How did you know I was gonna ask that? 563 00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:06,613 'Cause I know you better than anyone, schmoo. 564 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,916 And the one thing about me that'll never change 565 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:12,285 is how much I rapplepop you. 566 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,120 * Between the present and the past 567 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,656 I rapplepop you too, Mom. 568 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:19,659 * We only sacrifice the future 569 00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:25,131 * It's the bitterness that lasts... 570 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,799 Whatcha doing? 571 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,068 Thinking about joining the baseball team. 572 00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:32,339 All the dads there seem to be very kind and supportive. 573 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:33,706 I deserve that. 574 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,107 If you're just gonna yell at me again... 575 00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:36,709 I'm really not. 576 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:39,246 All I want is for you to follow me. 577 00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,780 ADULT ADAM: And for the first time ever, 578 00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:44,451 my dad was the one who shared a home movie with me. 579 00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,986 * Say it, say it say it loud... 580 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,356 Okay, what am I looking at? 581 00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:50,457 Me. 582 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,459 You were in Fiddler? 583 00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:54,193 I played Tevye. 584 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,996 I only auditioned because my dad loved the play. 585 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,266 But Pop-Pop hates everything. 586 00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:00,800 Not this. 587 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,502 He was so proud. 588 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,804 He would sit in the front row every night. 589 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,639 And for the first time, 590 00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:08,741 I felt close to the guy, you know? 591 00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:12,712 So, that's why this means so much to you? 592 00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:14,314 I know it's stupid. 593 00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:17,884 But I just wanted us to have the same thing I had with my dad. 594 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:20,320 ADULT ADAM: In that moment, I realized why my father 595 00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:23,155 became a crazed sports dad when it came to Fiddler. 596 00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,057 He wasn't trying to live through me. 597 00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:28,495 He was trying to connect the only way he knew how. 598 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,363 And with a little perspective, 599 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:34,066 I finally understood just how great of a play it was. 600 00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,902 Sometimes, it's hard to understand 601 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:38,571 why the people we love act the way they do. 602 00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,507 But when you put your trust in them, 603 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:43,209 that's when the real traditions come to life. 604 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:48,281 * Hey, so say it, say it say it loud... * 605 00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:03,963 Okay, everyone shut your faces. 606 00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:05,765 Dad, I've decided who I'm gonna 607 00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:07,066 be in Fiddler on the Roof, 608 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,335 so you can finally be 609 00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:09,402 my sports theater Dad. 610 00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:10,770 His sports what? Don't ask. 611 00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:12,238 I shall be Lazer Wolf. 612 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,540 Stop! The play's over! 613 00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:14,974 Ah. 614 00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,709 You're trying to motivate me. 615 00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:19,245 Well, Lazer Wolf never quits 'cause he's got lasers! 616 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:22,615 Moron! Lazar Wolf is the respected town butcher. 617 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,454 I don't know what any of that was. 618 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:28,488 It's for the best. 43016

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