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1
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,833
It's over.
2
00:00:53,937 --> 00:00:57,038
We know who you are.
3
00:00:57,107 --> 00:00:59,841
Your allies are all dead.
4
00:00:59,909 --> 00:01:01,710
You failed.
5
00:01:01,778 --> 00:01:04,145
I've already proven to you
that I can defy death.
6
00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:05,880
I'm just gonna bring her back.
7
00:01:05,883 --> 00:01:09,901
And when I do, my Ms. Mead will
stand by me as we watch you die.
8
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,971
You can certainly go to Hell,
but you won't find her there.
9
00:01:13,039 --> 00:01:14,906
What have you done?
10
00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:17,876
Her soul is hidden
by a spell only I can break.
11
00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:20,679
You'll never see her again.
12
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:23,932
You're alone.
13
00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:25,734
I'm never alone.
14
00:01:25,802 --> 00:01:28,737
I have my father.
15
00:01:28,739 --> 00:01:30,705
Where is he now?
16
00:01:30,774 --> 00:01:32,140
Why did he let this happen?
17
00:01:32,208 --> 00:01:34,676
You don't have to follow
this path
18
00:01:34,744 --> 00:01:36,745
your father laid out for you.
19
00:01:36,747 --> 00:01:38,747
You can write your own destiny.
20
00:01:38,749 --> 00:01:41,700
You can still turn away.
21
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,769
There's humanity in you.
22
00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:48,106
I see it.
23
00:01:48,175 --> 00:01:52,043
If you come with me,
24
00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:56,014
maybe we can find it.
25
00:01:58,135 --> 00:02:00,802
Together.
26
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:15,901
Somehow,
27
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:19,838
some way, I am gonna
bring her back.
28
00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:23,742
And then I'm gonna kill
every last one of you.
29
00:04:20,744 --> 00:04:24,546
I'm not going any further.
30
00:04:24,614 --> 00:04:28,500
Father, tell me what to do,
and I'll do it.
31
00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:36,407
I'm not leaving this circle
until you talk to me.
32
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,710
They're gone. The warlocks,
33
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:41,479
my Ms. Mead.
34
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:47,735
Burned alive at the stake
by the witches.
35
00:04:47,804 --> 00:04:51,606
Until nothing was left
36
00:04:51,674 --> 00:04:55,477
but ash and smoke.
37
00:04:59,983 --> 00:05:03,435
You tell me what to do...
38
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:06,538
or you let me die here.
39
00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:33,682
Would you like a grape Fanta?
40
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,568
Would you like a grape Fanta?
41
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:41,439
- No, I'm on a mission.
- You're hungry.
42
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:42,840
You need nourishment.
Take an apple.
43
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:46,611
It's so juicy. It's so juicy.
44
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:50,515
I have to talk to my father.
45
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,645
You don't have... you don't have
to do anything. All are welcome.
46
00:05:52,669 --> 00:05:54,803
Come to the light.
47
00:05:55,872 --> 00:05:58,573
Leave me alone.
48
00:05:58,641 --> 00:06:00,708
Why you do this to me?
49
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:03,544
You left me to die. To burn.
50
00:06:03,547 --> 00:06:04,746
To burn.
51
00:06:04,814 --> 00:06:06,447
I'm afraid.
52
00:06:06,516 --> 00:06:07,516
I'm afraid.
53
00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:10,468
You're not real.
54
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,470
None of this is re-real.
55
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,472
Don't listen to her.
56
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,641
You've done a great job.
57
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:17,675
No.
58
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:20,445
I failed.
59
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:23,514
I'm lost.
I don't understand my purpose.
60
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:25,733
You're everything we expected.
61
00:06:25,736 --> 00:06:28,403
The Alpha and the Omega.
62
00:06:28,405 --> 00:06:30,872
Who is, who was,
63
00:06:30,940 --> 00:06:33,608
and who is to come.
64
00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:34,776
Liar!
65
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,679
God loves you.
66
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:52,543
Are you my father?
67
00:07:10,913 --> 00:07:14,499
What do you want from me?!
68
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,801
What am I supposed to do?!
69
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:20,822
Fuck am I supposed to do?
70
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:05,850
You lost?
71
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,775
People.
72
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,644
Listen the fuck up.
73
00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:35,646
Just because we have a president
who's a total douchenozzle
74
00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:38,533
and global warming
is getting worse,
75
00:08:38,535 --> 00:08:42,503
that doesn't mean you can
sit here on your lazy asses
76
00:08:42,572 --> 00:08:44,939
and holler out
a few "Hail Satans."
77
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,741
You think end-time's
just gonna show up
78
00:08:46,809 --> 00:08:48,543
like a herpes sore?
79
00:08:48,545 --> 00:08:52,547
So tired of preaching
to the goddamn choir.
80
00:08:52,549 --> 00:08:56,534
What aren't you getting?
You know the drill.
81
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:59,904
The Antichrist is gonna ride in
on a wave of sin,
82
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:03,508
and all we have here
is a weak piss dribble.
83
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:06,845
Somebody, please help me out.
I'm about ready
84
00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:08,813
to gouge out my own eyes
so I don't have to look
85
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,600
at this weak-ass congregation
anymore.
86
00:09:12,669 --> 00:09:15,520
I need to hear some sins.
87
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,407
I need to feel
we're making way for him.
88
00:09:19,409 --> 00:09:20,675
You.
89
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:23,545
What are your sins?
90
00:09:23,613 --> 00:09:26,547
What did you do
to usher him in this week?
91
00:09:26,616 --> 00:09:29,500
I stole a hundred dollars
from my register at work.
92
00:09:29,568 --> 00:09:31,870
Seriously?
A fucking rounding error?
93
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,638
You think that's gonna open up
94
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,640
the Gates of Hell?
95
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:38,843
- I slept with my wife's sister.
- I've seen bad face-lifts
96
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,778
that are more evil than you.
97
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,665
You want to know
what I did this week?
98
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:46,867
You want to be inspired?
99
00:09:46,936 --> 00:09:51,539
You want to know how
I'm helping bring end-times?
100
00:09:51,607 --> 00:09:53,441
I robbed a nursing home
101
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:56,777
and I gave all the money
to the NRA.
102
00:09:56,846 --> 00:10:00,414
Next week
I need to feel some evil.
103
00:10:00,417 --> 00:10:04,702
I need to be repulsed.
104
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:08,439
I need to feel sick
to my stomach.
105
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:11,476
I want to be inspired!
106
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:15,579
Whatever. Okay.
107
00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:18,532
Let's speak in tongues
for a hot sec and...
108
00:10:18,601 --> 00:10:21,536
show some respect.
109
00:10:26,509 --> 00:10:29,410
I don't have any money
right now.
110
00:10:30,646 --> 00:10:32,847
Or any food
from the looks of it.
111
00:10:37,603 --> 00:10:39,670
How long has it been
since you ate, kid?
112
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:44,575
What's it to you?
113
00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:45,810
Just...
114
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:49,780
trying to help out
a fellow believer.
115
00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:51,866
You know...
116
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:54,935
after the service...
117
00:10:54,938 --> 00:10:57,805
I could fix you something.
118
00:10:57,873 --> 00:11:00,941
My place is only
a couple of blocks from here.
119
00:11:00,944 --> 00:11:04,545
That's actually
really nice of you.
120
00:11:04,614 --> 00:11:06,581
What can I say?
121
00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:10,635
Nobody's perfect.
122
00:11:29,739 --> 00:11:31,739
What's your name, kid?
123
00:11:35,745 --> 00:11:37,478
Michael.
124
00:11:37,547 --> 00:11:39,480
You must have been starving.
125
00:11:39,482 --> 00:11:41,677
I seen a lot of young people
like you come to our church
126
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:45,770
off the five stars on Yelp and
the free doughnut at check-in.
127
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:48,506
They all had
the same look you do.
128
00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:51,442
Scared. Searching.
129
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:54,479
Questioning what the hell
this all means.
130
00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,667
So...
131
00:11:59,735 --> 00:12:01,602
what's your story?
132
00:12:01,604 --> 00:12:04,505
How did you end up all alone
133
00:12:04,573 --> 00:12:07,675
and at our beloved
Satan's doorstep?
134
00:12:07,743 --> 00:12:09,811
My father abandoned me.
135
00:12:11,747 --> 00:12:14,498
And my mother tried to kill me.
136
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,767
Humanity...
137
00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:19,637
is shit.
138
00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:23,641
This world is
a twisted black hole
139
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,510
of sin and chaos,
140
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:30,414
and that's why Satanism is
the way of the future.
141
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:33,667
We are the fastest-growing
religion in the world,
142
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:36,737
so we need people like you...
143
00:12:36,740 --> 00:12:39,573
Bright, eager,
the next generation...
144
00:12:39,642 --> 00:12:41,742
To help spread the word
of Lucifer.
145
00:12:41,811 --> 00:12:44,545
'Cause here's
the beautiful secret, babe.
146
00:12:44,613 --> 00:12:46,747
Once you embrace
that at our core
147
00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:50,468
we are degenerate,
rotten beings,
148
00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:52,670
every last one of us...
149
00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:55,807
you'll be free.
150
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,476
Satanism...
151
00:12:58,544 --> 00:13:00,811
is about giving in
to your urges,
152
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:04,732
embracing sin, your true nature.
153
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,568
I sold my soul to the Devil,
154
00:13:07,637 --> 00:13:11,639
and he gave me
everything I ever wanted.
155
00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:13,774
You sold your soul?
156
00:13:13,843 --> 00:13:16,511
Did you sign a contract
in blood?
157
00:13:16,579 --> 00:13:19,847
I made a deal in a Black Mass,
as one does.
158
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:24,368
And by prayer... I mean...
159
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:26,604
killing people... it works.
160
00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:29,807
You're standing in the proof.
161
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:32,610
I offered up my soul, and...
162
00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:35,446
he gave me all this.
163
00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:37,781
Riches beyond compare.
164
00:13:37,867 --> 00:13:41,369
I've got a... a La-Z-Boy,
165
00:13:41,437 --> 00:13:45,640
a-a cable package
with all the premium channels.
166
00:13:45,708 --> 00:13:47,775
I shoot up heroin
167
00:13:47,844 --> 00:13:50,711
as much as I want,
and I never get the sweats.
168
00:13:50,713 --> 00:13:53,848
And every Wednesday night
Brad Pitt comes over
169
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,867
and fucks me
till the sun comes up.
170
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:01,405
On Friday nights
I get Ryan Reynolds.
171
00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:05,743
So that's all it is, then.
172
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,534
Satan is carnal pleasure.
173
00:14:15,871 --> 00:14:17,771
Hell no.
174
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,840
We've got a greater purpose.
175
00:14:19,843 --> 00:14:23,811
We are moving towards
the beginning of the end.
176
00:14:23,879 --> 00:14:25,813
Our savior is coming.
177
00:14:25,881 --> 00:14:28,632
The spawn of Satan will...
178
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,702
lead us off the cliff
and into the end-times.
179
00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:35,573
We just have to make things
terrible enough for him to rise.
180
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,741
We are the fetid,
181
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,743
rancid, contaminated soil
182
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:43,480
from which he will bloom.
183
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,699
And then plunge us.
184
00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:56,844
I hate to break it to you...
185
00:14:56,913 --> 00:14:59,847
but you're waiting in vain.
186
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:12,543
I'm the one you're waiting for.
187
00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:14,712
How dare you blaspheme!
188
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:19,350
Well, before you kill me,
dear believer...
189
00:15:19,435 --> 00:15:20,468
see me.
190
00:15:29,445 --> 00:15:31,679
Hail Satan!
191
00:15:31,747 --> 00:15:34,582
Our savior has risen!
192
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,713
Ladies and gentlemen,
193
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:25,799
the volunteer All-Sinners choir!
194
00:16:29,706 --> 00:16:33,707
They really know how to raise
some hell, don't they, kids?
195
00:16:33,710 --> 00:16:36,644
Hail Satan!
196
00:16:36,646 --> 00:16:40,481
And, you ask, why does it rain
every time they sing?
197
00:16:40,549 --> 00:16:43,701
Because God is pissing
in his pants.
198
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:46,404
Hail Satan!
199
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:49,606
Well, now that we're
in the mood,
200
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:54,478
are you ready for an
old-fashioned human sacrifice?
201
00:16:54,546 --> 00:16:57,481
- Yeah!
- Black Mass...
202
00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:58,733
you are everything!
203
00:17:07,910 --> 00:17:10,678
This is Leticia.
204
00:17:10,746 --> 00:17:12,680
She is a social worker.
205
00:17:12,748 --> 00:17:15,533
And she's dedicated
her entire life
206
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:18,602
to easing the suffering
of those less fortunate.
207
00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:20,604
Bitch, please.
208
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:31,315
Isn't that just too precious?
209
00:17:32,835 --> 00:17:35,703
Minus the two of them,
I think the world will be
210
00:17:35,771 --> 00:17:37,705
a little bit shittier.
211
00:17:37,773 --> 00:17:40,775
So why waste any more time?
212
00:17:43,612 --> 00:17:46,447
The honor
of today's killing goes
213
00:17:46,515 --> 00:17:48,465
to a new member... Phil.
214
00:17:48,534 --> 00:17:51,468
Go, Phil!
215
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:55,539
Phil, tell us a little something
about yourself.
216
00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:58,909
Well, I was
the chief accountant at Gawker
217
00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:00,744
before, you know...
218
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:03,881
- that whole thing.
- Ouch.
219
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:06,433
Then my girlfriend left me,
220
00:18:06,436 --> 00:18:09,737
and my life turned to shit...
221
00:18:09,805 --> 00:18:12,573
until I saw the darkness.
222
00:18:12,575 --> 00:18:15,776
Are you ready
to pledge your soul to Satan?
223
00:18:15,778 --> 00:18:18,479
Am I ever.
224
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:20,814
They're all yours.
225
00:18:20,883 --> 00:18:23,367
Hail Satan!
226
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,469
Hail Satan!
227
00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:26,703
Hail Satan.
228
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,407
Don't let me down, Phil.
229
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,576
Wait!
230
00:18:33,712 --> 00:18:36,447
This honor belongs
to someone else.
231
00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:38,766
Someone else?
232
00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:40,634
His name is Michael.
233
00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:42,503
He's...
234
00:18:42,571 --> 00:18:44,505
new here.
235
00:18:46,775 --> 00:18:48,776
Well, even if he's willing
to sell his soul,
236
00:18:48,844 --> 00:18:50,778
why should he go before...?
237
00:18:50,780 --> 00:18:55,399
Michael doesn't need
to sell his soul.
238
00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:01,739
The end-times
239
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,809
are upon us.
240
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:10,814
Behold.
241
00:19:13,535 --> 00:19:15,336
The mark of the beast.
242
00:19:17,539 --> 00:19:20,708
Is it possible that...
243
00:19:20,776 --> 00:19:22,409
you're the one?
244
00:19:22,477 --> 00:19:23,510
I am.
245
00:19:23,513 --> 00:19:26,547
Hail Satan.
246
00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:09,373
- Hail Satan!
- Hail Satan!
247
00:20:25,841 --> 00:20:28,809
Is it too spicy?
248
00:20:28,877 --> 00:20:31,778
No. It's good.
249
00:20:31,781 --> 00:20:33,614
Thank the Dark Lord.
250
00:20:33,682 --> 00:20:35,532
It's my mother's recipe.
251
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,401
Now try the macaroni salad.
252
00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:39,336
No, the turkey meatballs.
253
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:40,738
May I touch your hair?
254
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:43,407
Let the kid eat.
255
00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:45,409
O-Or is something wrong?
256
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:48,545
What can we get you?
What can we do?
257
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:51,832
I just think everyone should do
what you normally do.
258
00:20:51,868 --> 00:20:54,501
Have fun.
259
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:58,772
Enjoy your Wednesday
potluck dinner like always.
260
00:20:58,774 --> 00:21:00,440
You heard him.
261
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:04,444
Our guest of honor eats
at his own pace.
262
00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:13,604
Though I can personally vouch
for the spinach lasagna.
263
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:17,474
It would be the honor of my life
to watch you eat it.
264
00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:21,478
So, what happens next?
265
00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:26,500
Probably your lasagna.
266
00:21:26,568 --> 00:21:27,734
No,
267
00:21:27,803 --> 00:21:31,338
I meant on
the global annihilation front.
268
00:21:31,406 --> 00:21:32,439
What do we do first?
269
00:21:32,508 --> 00:21:34,574
When do we do it?
270
00:21:34,577 --> 00:21:36,710
I'm not sure.
271
00:21:36,779 --> 00:21:39,646
What do you mean
you're not sure?
272
00:21:39,649 --> 00:21:42,466
I don't know what to do,
273
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,468
where to begin.
274
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:45,736
But you're the Antichrist.
275
00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:48,605
Which people
won't let me forget.
276
00:21:48,608 --> 00:21:50,608
Everyone keeps saying
that I'm special,
277
00:21:50,676 --> 00:21:53,477
that I'm the only one who
can bring about the end-times,
278
00:21:53,545 --> 00:21:56,446
but nobody gave me
a fucking instruction manual.
279
00:21:56,515 --> 00:21:58,432
And the one person
who always helped me,
280
00:21:58,533 --> 00:22:00,701
who I could always turn to
for advice,
281
00:22:00,769 --> 00:22:03,370
she's gone now.
282
00:22:10,379 --> 00:22:12,512
I have no one.
283
00:22:14,649 --> 00:22:18,335
I-I think there's some people
you need to see.
284
00:22:20,739 --> 00:22:22,506
Who?
285
00:22:22,574 --> 00:22:24,741
Just trust me.
286
00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:29,613
We are on the precipice
of oblivion, Michael.
287
00:22:29,615 --> 00:22:34,568
Now is not the time
to bury yourself in doubt.
288
00:22:34,636 --> 00:22:37,504
This person who helped you,
289
00:22:37,573 --> 00:22:40,374
what was her name?
290
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:43,377
Ms. Miriam Mead.
291
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:48,398
We have access
to private search engines
292
00:22:48,467 --> 00:22:50,834
that can find anyone.
293
00:22:50,902 --> 00:22:54,605
And... there she is.
294
00:22:54,673 --> 00:22:56,573
We'll just go and pick her up.
295
00:22:56,641 --> 00:22:59,543
It's not possible.
296
00:22:59,611 --> 00:23:02,412
I'm not powerful enough
to bring her back.
297
00:23:02,514 --> 00:23:05,499
Not anymore, at least.
298
00:23:06,585 --> 00:23:07,634
She's dead.
299
00:23:08,704 --> 00:23:10,504
Dead?
300
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:16,610
That's something
we can work around.
301
00:23:21,450 --> 00:23:26,470
You are the son of Satan.
302
00:23:26,538 --> 00:23:29,439
There is no one
303
00:23:29,508 --> 00:23:32,542
or no thing
304
00:23:32,545 --> 00:23:35,812
you cannot have.
305
00:23:35,881 --> 00:23:38,381
I don't know why
306
00:23:38,416 --> 00:23:40,634
you won't just tell me
exactly where we're going.
307
00:23:40,702 --> 00:23:43,503
I'm sorry.
I'm already a little freaked out
308
00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:47,441
I've said too much.
And you being who you are...
309
00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:49,609
It's okay.
310
00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:51,512
You don't have to be nervous
around me.
311
00:23:51,580 --> 00:23:53,580
I'm the same guy I was
when you met me.
312
00:23:53,648 --> 00:23:57,367
That is so not true.
313
00:23:58,470 --> 00:24:00,403
Just tell me.
314
00:24:00,472 --> 00:24:01,872
Okay.
315
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:05,409
We are, like,
this secret network.
316
00:24:05,477 --> 00:24:08,612
We all know each other.
317
00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:11,681
A secret network of people
who sold their souls.
318
00:24:11,684 --> 00:24:13,366
Yeah.
319
00:24:13,435 --> 00:24:15,302
And...
320
00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:18,338
if you think about this network
like it's a hotel,
321
00:24:18,406 --> 00:24:21,808
then I am taking you
to the penthouse.
322
00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:24,511
No one is gonna pass up a chance
323
00:24:24,513 --> 00:24:28,498
to meet the true son
of the most foul.
324
00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:32,553
If there is anyone who can help
get you back on track, they can.
325
00:24:56,778 --> 00:24:58,845
You're not coming with me?
326
00:24:58,848 --> 00:25:01,581
They're only interested in you.
327
00:25:01,650 --> 00:25:05,602
Just... go up the path
to the entrance.
328
00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:08,672
I really think
you're gonna be impressed.
329
00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:11,641
At least I hope so.
330
00:25:11,710 --> 00:25:14,678
Why are you so good to me?
331
00:25:14,746 --> 00:25:18,348
I've waited for you
my whole life.
332
00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:20,600
We all have.
333
00:25:20,669 --> 00:25:21,785
Could I ask you a favor?
334
00:25:21,870 --> 00:25:23,437
Anything.
335
00:25:23,505 --> 00:25:27,507
When you finally talk
to your father,
336
00:25:27,576 --> 00:25:31,378
could you maybe put in
a good word for me?
337
00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:33,313
When I get to Hell,
338
00:25:33,382 --> 00:25:35,732
I want to be
in the lowest circle.
339
00:25:35,801 --> 00:25:37,601
Circle?
340
00:25:37,603 --> 00:25:38,768
However it's structured,
341
00:25:38,837 --> 00:25:41,538
I want to be in the worst part.
342
00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:43,473
Or the best part.
343
00:25:47,512 --> 00:25:50,647
For all eternity in service.
344
00:25:51,750 --> 00:25:53,600
I'll see what I can do.
345
00:25:53,668 --> 00:25:55,836
- Okay?
- Okay.
346
00:25:58,740 --> 00:26:00,774
Hail Satan!
347
00:26:24,116 --> 00:26:26,032
Tell me
that wasn't the last of it.
348
00:26:26,101 --> 00:26:28,101
I ordered more, bruh.
How you coming?
349
00:26:28,237 --> 00:26:30,003
Almost done.
350
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,039
Okay.
351
00:26:33,074 --> 00:26:34,975
Let's try.
352
00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:48,071
Holy shit, that's way better.
What'd you do?
353
00:26:48,139 --> 00:26:50,117
I tweaked the feedback
sensors on the finger joints
354
00:26:50,141 --> 00:26:51,875
and gave the lateral servos
a flush.
355
00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:53,321
The next auto-update,
all our Tiffany and Bambi users
356
00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:55,345
are going to be very happy.
357
00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:58,248
Fuck yeah, bro. I'm pitching
a tent just looking at that.
358
00:27:00,102 --> 00:27:02,102
- Shit!
- Whoa, whoa!
359
00:27:02,170 --> 00:27:03,904
! Well,
360
00:27:03,972 --> 00:27:06,373
5,000 of our clients
just got their dicks ripped off.
361
00:27:06,441 --> 00:27:09,042
It's okay, it's okay.
362
00:27:09,110 --> 00:27:10,910
- I know what the problem is.
- Yeah, I know
363
00:27:10,979 --> 00:27:12,846
what my problem is...
I need another fix.
364
00:27:12,914 --> 00:27:15,115
Hey, babe, we're spiraling here.
365
00:27:15,117 --> 00:27:16,866
Do you have an ETA?
366
00:27:16,869 --> 00:27:18,118
Babe? Babe?
367
00:27:18,203 --> 00:27:20,036
Babe?
368
00:27:20,105 --> 00:27:22,272
It's just arriving now.
369
00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:25,108
Terribly sorry for the delay.
370
00:27:25,176 --> 00:27:27,210
I'm so sorry, Ms. Venable.
371
00:27:27,278 --> 00:27:29,879
There was a bad accident
on the 101.
372
00:27:29,948 --> 00:27:32,299
Not as bad as the accident
that brought you into the world,
373
00:27:32,367 --> 00:27:33,933
I'm sure.
374
00:27:34,002 --> 00:27:35,969
I got back as fast as I could.
375
00:27:35,971 --> 00:27:38,038
You don't have
to insult me again.
376
00:27:38,106 --> 00:27:40,307
I certainly don't have to.
377
00:27:40,375 --> 00:27:46,246
But why deny myself one
of life's simple pleasures?
378
00:27:46,315 --> 00:27:49,065
Now set that down
379
00:27:49,068 --> 00:27:53,904
and summon all your brain cells
to clear your desk.
380
00:27:56,341 --> 00:27:59,175
Y-You can't treat people
like this.
381
00:27:59,244 --> 00:28:01,177
I'm gonna report you to HR.
382
00:28:01,246 --> 00:28:05,899
I am HR, bitch.
383
00:28:05,967 --> 00:28:09,235
And everything else that matters
around here, too.
384
00:28:09,238 --> 00:28:14,808
Now, do me a favor and get
the fuck out of my sight.
385
00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:34,210
Dude, this easy listening music
386
00:28:34,213 --> 00:28:35,946
you're always playing
is not helping.
387
00:28:36,014 --> 00:28:37,881
How many times do I have
to tell you,
388
00:28:37,949 --> 00:28:39,944
don't knock the playlist,
the playlist is everything.
389
00:28:39,968 --> 00:28:43,136
Light rock is soothing for me;
It is calming, it is focusing.
390
00:28:43,204 --> 00:28:46,206
Other than cocaine,
it is my cocaine.
391
00:28:46,274 --> 00:28:48,375
Yes.
392
00:28:48,377 --> 00:28:51,178
Babe, you're a lifesaver.
393
00:28:51,246 --> 00:28:53,046
Hey, I was working.
394
00:28:53,115 --> 00:28:56,132
Shit. I'm sorry.
395
00:28:56,135 --> 00:28:58,068
I forgot.
396
00:29:02,274 --> 00:29:04,074
Ha-ha.
397
00:29:09,247 --> 00:29:11,081
Easy.
398
00:29:11,149 --> 00:29:12,232
How do you guys not OD?
399
00:29:12,333 --> 00:29:15,068
Hell if I know.
400
00:29:15,136 --> 00:29:17,904
- Devil of a mystery.
- The package
401
00:29:17,973 --> 00:29:20,907
of dog feces is on its way
to Mr. Zuckerberg's estate...
402
00:29:21,009 --> 00:29:22,275
Fourth-class mail, of course.
403
00:29:22,343 --> 00:29:25,094
Rihanna's people called...
She'll be available all weekend,
404
00:29:25,114 --> 00:29:27,113
and I've already purchased
the island.
405
00:29:27,116 --> 00:29:29,999
- Nice.
- Yes. Ms. Venable.
406
00:29:30,068 --> 00:29:32,035
What would our lives be
without you?
407
00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:34,070
I just can't imagine.
408
00:29:34,073 --> 00:29:36,206
A lot less purple.
409
00:29:36,274 --> 00:29:38,208
Yeah, purple's Ms. Venable's
thing.
410
00:29:38,276 --> 00:29:40,810
Just as self-abasement is yours.
411
00:29:46,267 --> 00:29:47,300
Zinger. Yeah.
412
00:29:47,302 --> 00:29:49,169
Lastly, the front desk
413
00:29:49,237 --> 00:29:52,005
says there's a gentleman here
to see you.
414
00:29:54,042 --> 00:29:57,043
Apparently he claims
to have arranged this meeting
415
00:29:57,112 --> 00:29:59,045
- with you himself.
- Yeah.
416
00:29:59,114 --> 00:30:02,249
If you could let him in
the private elevator, please?
417
00:30:05,236 --> 00:30:07,037
Certainly.
418
00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:17,848
Don't ever call me "babe."
419
00:30:22,303 --> 00:30:27,040
Sometimes, I swear,
she hates our guts.
420
00:30:52,084 --> 00:30:53,900
Dude.
421
00:30:53,968 --> 00:30:56,102
What's up?
422
00:30:56,104 --> 00:30:58,304
Come on in. Dying to meet you.
423
00:30:58,373 --> 00:31:00,240
Yeah, Madelyn's really
been talking you up.
424
00:31:00,242 --> 00:31:04,110
That lady is whacked, right?
425
00:31:04,179 --> 00:31:07,914
But she seems totally convinced
that you're The One.
426
00:31:12,003 --> 00:31:14,137
Like The Rock when he was,
you know, The Rock.
427
00:31:14,139 --> 00:31:16,005
Yeah, that's, like,
stereotypical, dude.
428
00:31:16,008 --> 00:31:19,943
- What do you mean?
- Yeah, that's not cool.
429
00:31:20,011 --> 00:31:21,211
What's your name again?
430
00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:23,213
Michael.
431
00:31:23,215 --> 00:31:26,833
- Langdon.
- Michael Langdon.
432
00:31:26,902 --> 00:31:28,902
I mean, got to admit, that's
a little weak, right?
433
00:31:28,970 --> 00:31:30,170
Yeah.
434
00:31:30,238 --> 00:31:32,398
Shouldn't you be like Beelzebub
or some shit like that?
435
00:31:33,308 --> 00:31:35,909
Old Scratch?
436
00:31:35,977 --> 00:31:38,011
- Dude, dude, dude.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
437
00:31:38,079 --> 00:31:39,223
- Wait. No, no, Dude. Dude.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey. Ho.
438
00:31:39,247 --> 00:31:40,847
- Dude, dude. No, no, no.
- Ho.
439
00:31:40,916 --> 00:31:42,265
No, no, no.
We-we-we believe you.
440
00:31:42,333 --> 00:31:44,345
It... you know, I thought I'd be,
like, pissing my pants
441
00:31:44,369 --> 00:31:47,337
or something, and...
30189
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