All language subtitles for The New Adventures of Old Christine - 01x11 - Exile on Lame Street.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,424 --> 00:00:12,916 Okay. What's the temperature in Acapulco? 2 00:00:14,462 --> 00:00:16,327 I don't wanna play Guess the Temperature. 3 00:00:16,497 --> 00:00:19,625 Come on, it's a good game. Acapulco. 4 00:00:21,202 --> 00:00:24,569 - Seventy-two. - No. Think. 5 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:26,971 - Three-hundred. - Wrong. 6 00:00:27,141 --> 00:00:29,132 You now owe me $ 10 million. 7 00:00:30,178 --> 00:00:31,304 [DOORBELL RINGS] 8 00:00:31,479 --> 00:00:32,537 Okay, new game. 9 00:00:32,714 --> 00:00:34,204 I give you the name of the deceased... 10 00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:37,078 ...you tell me what they want in lieu of flowers. 11 00:00:37,251 --> 00:00:38,980 Edna Rosenblatt. 12 00:00:39,153 --> 00:00:41,553 Tree in Israel. 13 00:00:42,457 --> 00:00:43,446 Okay, we're tied. 14 00:00:44,859 --> 00:00:48,795 No, it's New Christine. 15 00:00:48,963 --> 00:00:50,294 I don't wanna talk to her. 16 00:00:50,465 --> 00:00:53,866 - You can't just leave her out there. - Ugh, well, what could she possibly want? 17 00:00:54,035 --> 00:00:56,731 She already got my ex-husband. 18 00:00:56,904 --> 00:00:59,532 Maybe she wants to give him back. 19 00:01:00,341 --> 00:01:03,640 Uh-uh. I've got a strict no-return policy. 20 00:01:03,811 --> 00:01:05,676 All right, you know what, tell her I'm not here. 21 00:01:06,647 --> 00:01:08,012 I think she can see you. 22 00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:11,584 And hear you. 23 00:01:12,353 --> 00:01:14,480 [WHISPERS] Oh, crap. 24 00:01:14,655 --> 00:01:17,522 Matthew, do something. 25 00:01:28,302 --> 00:01:29,735 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, hey, it's you. 26 00:01:29,904 --> 00:01:32,236 Oh, yeah, I thought you were someone else. 27 00:01:33,941 --> 00:01:35,340 Who? 28 00:01:35,877 --> 00:01:37,902 Uh, Edna Rosenblatt. 29 00:01:39,714 --> 00:01:41,375 From Acapulco. 30 00:01:42,617 --> 00:01:46,417 And I did not want to see her. I owe her a tree. 31 00:01:51,225 --> 00:01:52,624 So, uh, what's up? 32 00:01:52,794 --> 00:01:54,887 - Oh, I wanted to run something by you. - Oh? 33 00:01:55,062 --> 00:01:57,530 The Rolling Stones are playing at the L.A. Auditorium. 34 00:01:57,698 --> 00:02:01,031 Richard and I thought it would be fun to take Ritchie to his first concert. 35 00:02:01,202 --> 00:02:04,535 We listen to music in the car all the time, and Ritchie's really into it. 36 00:02:04,705 --> 00:02:06,798 But I wanted to check and see how you felt about it. 37 00:02:06,974 --> 00:02:10,808 - The Rolling Stones? - Yeah, most of them are still alive. 38 00:02:11,145 --> 00:02:13,443 - So is that okay? - No. 39 00:02:13,614 --> 00:02:15,479 - No? - No. 40 00:02:15,650 --> 00:02:18,244 - Oh. May I ask why? - Yeah. 41 00:02:18,419 --> 00:02:19,477 - Yeah? - Yeah. 42 00:02:19,654 --> 00:02:23,556 I, uh... I just don't think that's a great place for kids, you know? 43 00:02:23,724 --> 00:02:27,285 It's crowded and there's pot smoke and drunk people. 44 00:02:27,461 --> 00:02:29,224 If I wanted Ritchie exposed to that... 45 00:02:29,397 --> 00:02:32,264 ...l'd send him to his grandparents' for the summer. 46 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,468 - Are you sure you won't change your mind? - I think so. 47 00:02:36,070 --> 00:02:37,628 You think you're sure you won't? 48 00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:42,270 You know, I don't know what you're asking... 49 00:02:42,443 --> 00:02:46,038 ...but whatever you're asking, the answer is no. 50 00:02:47,215 --> 00:02:49,979 - Oh. - Yeah. Bye-bye. 51 00:02:50,685 --> 00:02:51,674 Bye-bye. 52 00:02:55,423 --> 00:02:56,856 - What did she want? - Ugh. 53 00:02:57,024 --> 00:02:59,151 She wanted to take Ritchie to a Rolling Stones concert. 54 00:02:59,327 --> 00:03:01,056 I said, no. 55 00:03:01,229 --> 00:03:03,026 What do you mean, no? 56 00:03:07,501 --> 00:03:09,935 - What are you doing here? - I was out in the car. 57 00:03:10,104 --> 00:03:13,335 Oh, so you sent New Christine in here to do your dirty work? 58 00:03:13,507 --> 00:03:15,907 No. Christine wanted to be nice. 59 00:03:16,077 --> 00:03:19,205 She didn't feel comfortable going to the concert without asking you. 60 00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:21,644 It wasn't an actual question. It was a courtesy. 61 00:03:21,816 --> 00:03:25,047 - We don't need your permission. - Um, I think you do. 62 00:03:25,219 --> 00:03:26,811 Um, no, I don't. 63 00:03:26,988 --> 00:03:28,615 Um, I'm his mother. 64 00:03:28,789 --> 00:03:32,725 - Um, I'm his father. - Um, no, you're not. 65 00:03:33,661 --> 00:03:35,686 - What? - Oh, sorry. 66 00:03:35,863 --> 00:03:38,957 Richard, come on. A concert is not an appropriate place... 67 00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:40,657 ...for a little 9-year-old boy. 68 00:03:40,835 --> 00:03:42,325 We have third-row orchestra seats. 69 00:03:42,503 --> 00:03:45,267 It might be his only chance to see the greatest band in rock 'n' roll. 70 00:03:45,439 --> 00:03:49,500 I saw them when I was his age, as my father did before me. 71 00:03:50,244 --> 00:03:54,180 Your father also goes to the supermarket without a shirt on. 72 00:03:55,483 --> 00:03:58,384 Christine, in the two years we've been divorced... 73 00:03:58,552 --> 00:04:00,452 ...l've never gone against your wishes... 74 00:04:00,621 --> 00:04:03,522 ...but this is really important to me, and I'm doing it. 75 00:04:03,691 --> 00:04:05,989 Oh, well, I'm sorry to have to say this... 76 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,822 ...but I forbid it. 77 00:04:10,431 --> 00:04:13,127 - Excuse me? - Yeah, you heard me. I forbid it. 78 00:04:13,301 --> 00:04:15,735 I forbid you from taking him to the concert. 79 00:04:15,903 --> 00:04:17,461 Oh, I didn't realize you forbid it. 80 00:04:17,638 --> 00:04:20,163 I guess in that case, I'll take Ritchie to the concert. 81 00:04:20,341 --> 00:04:23,003 What? No, no, no, I just forbid it. 82 00:04:23,177 --> 00:04:26,010 We're not married. You've lost your power to forbid. 83 00:04:28,449 --> 00:04:32,408 - That was my greatest power. - We're not gonna talk about this anymore. 84 00:04:32,586 --> 00:04:34,019 - Yes, we are. - No, we're not. 85 00:04:34,188 --> 00:04:38,056 Yeah... Richard, I forbid you from leaving. 86 00:04:38,592 --> 00:04:42,187 Richard, I forbid you from getting in the car. 87 00:04:42,363 --> 00:04:45,628 I forbid you from making that gesture. 88 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,131 [CAR ENGINE REVVING] 89 00:04:47,301 --> 00:04:49,496 I'm powerless. 90 00:04:55,609 --> 00:04:58,237 Yeah, I mean... Right. So that's it? 91 00:04:58,412 --> 00:04:59,902 There's nothing I can do? 92 00:05:00,081 --> 00:05:01,070 [CHRISTINE SCOFFS] 93 00:05:01,248 --> 00:05:02,943 All right, well, thanks for your help. 94 00:05:03,117 --> 00:05:05,085 - Any luck? - No. 95 00:05:05,252 --> 00:05:07,584 Our divorce mediator says there's nothing I can do. 96 00:05:07,755 --> 00:05:08,915 It's Richard's night. 97 00:05:09,090 --> 00:05:10,853 I told him what I was worried about... 98 00:05:11,025 --> 00:05:14,461 ...but apparently a mother's intuition is not legally binding. 99 00:05:15,196 --> 00:05:17,221 It's sexist. 100 00:05:17,398 --> 00:05:18,888 How is that sexist? 101 00:05:19,066 --> 00:05:22,467 Because we're both white, so it can't be racist. 102 00:05:23,437 --> 00:05:24,426 [SIGHS] 103 00:05:24,605 --> 00:05:26,573 God, this is so unfair. 104 00:05:26,741 --> 00:05:28,709 When we were married, I had power. 105 00:05:28,876 --> 00:05:31,208 I could forbid. I could withhold sex. 106 00:05:31,379 --> 00:05:34,837 I ruled with an iron fist. 107 00:05:35,016 --> 00:05:38,713 Now that we're divorced, I'm not the boss of him anymore. 108 00:05:39,086 --> 00:05:40,644 Why did I get divorced? 109 00:05:41,856 --> 00:05:43,824 Yeah, and why would he divorce you? 110 00:05:45,426 --> 00:05:48,827 - So, what are you gonna do? - Nothing. There's nothing I can do. 111 00:05:48,996 --> 00:05:51,464 Against my better judgment, I have to hand him over... 112 00:05:51,632 --> 00:05:55,068 ...into what I believe is an unsuitable environment. 113 00:05:55,236 --> 00:05:56,225 [LAUGHS] 114 00:05:56,404 --> 00:05:59,703 How could my divorce suck more than my marriage? 115 00:06:00,408 --> 00:06:01,807 You sure you're okay, sweetie? 116 00:06:01,976 --> 00:06:04,001 - Lf you don't wanna go... - I really wanna go. 117 00:06:04,178 --> 00:06:06,476 - I know, but if you don't wanna go... - I wanna go. 118 00:06:06,647 --> 00:06:09,309 Listen, darling, it's okay with me if you don't wanna... 119 00:06:09,483 --> 00:06:10,780 You're not listening to me. 120 00:06:12,420 --> 00:06:16,948 Sorry. It's just that I'm so excited for you, because it's your first concert. 121 00:06:17,124 --> 00:06:19,058 Yippee. Heh-heh. 122 00:06:19,226 --> 00:06:22,161 But listen, honey, I want you to remember something... 123 00:06:22,329 --> 00:06:25,924 ...if you get lost, you look for anybody in a uniform. 124 00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:29,069 - Anybody? - Oh, no, not anybody. 125 00:06:29,236 --> 00:06:31,170 Not somebody in a Nazi uniform. 126 00:06:32,807 --> 00:06:34,866 Or that uniform Michael Jackson wore for a while. 127 00:06:35,042 --> 00:06:36,873 Oh, yeah, right. 128 00:06:37,044 --> 00:06:39,842 But anybody else in a uniform. 129 00:06:40,381 --> 00:06:42,815 Okay. Ahem. 130 00:06:44,418 --> 00:06:46,318 Oh, they're not here. So we better just... 131 00:06:46,487 --> 00:06:47,920 Hey, there he is. 132 00:06:48,089 --> 00:06:50,148 - You ready for the concert, Ritchie? - Yay! 133 00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,919 - Don't worry, he's gonna be fine. - Yup, see you. 134 00:06:53,094 --> 00:06:55,494 - We'll have him home tomorrow. CHRISTINE: Wait, wait, wait. 135 00:06:55,930 --> 00:06:58,364 I don't want him to sit too close to the speakers. 136 00:06:58,532 --> 00:07:01,228 - We've got earplugs. - And don't let him get dehydrated. 137 00:07:01,402 --> 00:07:05,236 - We're bringing water. - Don't sit next to anybody who's smoking. 138 00:07:05,406 --> 00:07:07,499 Christine, half the band's on oxygen. 139 00:07:07,675 --> 00:07:09,734 No one's gonna be smoking. Bye. 140 00:07:09,910 --> 00:07:12,401 - Wait, wait, uh... - What? 141 00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:14,571 [STAMMERS] 142 00:07:15,216 --> 00:07:17,810 - Uh, Matthew? - Rock 'n' roll. 143 00:07:20,354 --> 00:07:21,946 Bye. 144 00:07:23,591 --> 00:07:26,856 - Thanks a lot. - It's okay, we're gonna have fun too. 145 00:07:27,027 --> 00:07:28,255 Okay, new game. 146 00:07:28,429 --> 00:07:30,761 I name the relative, you name their problem. 147 00:07:30,931 --> 00:07:32,990 - Uncle Jack. - Liver. 148 00:07:33,167 --> 00:07:34,361 MATTHEW: Cousin Laurie. - Liver. 149 00:07:34,535 --> 00:07:36,400 MATTHEW: Great-grandpa Lloyd? - Liver. 150 00:07:36,570 --> 00:07:38,504 MATTHEW: Okay, bonus round. 151 00:07:42,943 --> 00:07:44,205 Second cousin Allan? 152 00:07:44,712 --> 00:07:47,579 Liver. They're all liver. 153 00:07:48,516 --> 00:07:51,542 - Okay, Mom's side of the family. - Lung. 154 00:07:51,719 --> 00:07:53,209 Damn it. 155 00:07:54,488 --> 00:07:58,117 Matthew, the idea of Ritchie all alone... 156 00:07:58,292 --> 00:08:02,251 ...with those freaks and druggies and Hell's Angels... 157 00:08:02,429 --> 00:08:05,557 He's going downtown, not to Vietnam. 158 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,600 And he's not gonna be alone, he's with Richard. 159 00:08:08,769 --> 00:08:10,703 Yeah, that's my point. 160 00:08:10,871 --> 00:08:14,534 Look, Richard's a good guy. I mean, he can be a goofball sometimes... 161 00:08:14,708 --> 00:08:17,233 ...and he does laugh too hard at "The Wizard of Id"... 162 00:08:17,411 --> 00:08:20,278 ...but, I mean, he loves that kid as much as you do. 163 00:08:20,447 --> 00:08:22,540 He's not gonna let anything bad happen to him. 164 00:08:22,716 --> 00:08:25,651 Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, what really could happen? 165 00:08:25,819 --> 00:08:27,946 Exactly. It's not like he's going with our dad. 166 00:08:28,122 --> 00:08:30,283 Then there'd be something to worry about. 167 00:08:31,392 --> 00:08:32,552 Why, what do you mean? 168 00:08:32,726 --> 00:08:34,591 Remember, Dad took me to the Dodger game. 169 00:08:34,762 --> 00:08:37,026 He let me go to the bathroom alone and I got lost. 170 00:08:37,198 --> 00:08:39,428 Yeah, I was crying, I couldn't find my seat. 171 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,569 No one would help me, because it was a close game. 172 00:08:43,370 --> 00:08:46,430 I ended up wandering into the locker room. 173 00:08:46,607 --> 00:08:48,734 Didn't you ever wonder why I have that picture of me... 174 00:08:48,909 --> 00:08:51,469 ...next to Fernando Valenzuela in his underwear? 175 00:08:53,681 --> 00:08:57,139 Dad let you go to the bathroom all by yourself? 176 00:08:57,318 --> 00:08:59,149 Oh, my God. 177 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,687 That's exactly the kind of thing Richard would do. 178 00:09:02,856 --> 00:09:07,225 Oh, my God, I married my father. 179 00:09:08,529 --> 00:09:11,191 That's big, but I'll deal with that later. 180 00:09:11,365 --> 00:09:12,832 Wait, Richard's not like that. 181 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,524 Yes, he is. 182 00:09:14,702 --> 00:09:17,136 One day, he left Ritchie in the ball pit at IKEA. 183 00:09:17,304 --> 00:09:19,772 He came all the way home and assembled a bookshelf... 184 00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:22,465 ...before he realized that he was gone. 185 00:09:23,277 --> 00:09:25,643 To this day, Ritchie cannot eat a meatball... 186 00:09:25,813 --> 00:09:28,373 ...without bursting into tears. 187 00:09:28,816 --> 00:09:30,477 Oh, my God. 188 00:09:30,651 --> 00:09:33,176 Oh, Ritchie. 189 00:09:41,729 --> 00:09:44,163 I'm... I'm sorry, you want tickets for what? 190 00:09:44,331 --> 00:09:46,356 Uh, the Rolling Stones. Two tickets. 191 00:09:46,533 --> 00:09:50,333 They're seated in the third row orchestra, so something close to that. 192 00:09:50,504 --> 00:09:52,165 All right, let's see what we've got. 193 00:09:52,339 --> 00:09:55,740 - Is the, uh, front row okay? - Yeah, that would be perfect. 194 00:09:55,909 --> 00:09:58,377 Wait, I might have something a little bit closer. 195 00:09:58,545 --> 00:10:00,308 Yup. Two tickets right on stage. 196 00:10:00,481 --> 00:10:03,416 Now, it's a little louder, but you might get to dance with Mick. 197 00:10:04,318 --> 00:10:08,755 - Oh, yeah, we'll take those. - Yeah. How high are you, huh? 198 00:10:08,922 --> 00:10:10,321 We're completely sold out. 199 00:10:10,491 --> 00:10:13,085 It's the Rolling Stones. 200 00:10:15,429 --> 00:10:17,954 Well, if you don't have tickets, then why are you even open? 201 00:10:18,132 --> 00:10:20,464 Because, I'm selling tickets to Kristi Yamaguchi... 202 00:10:20,634 --> 00:10:23,034 ...The Wiggles On Ice and the gay rodeo. 203 00:10:24,371 --> 00:10:28,102 Whoa, is that all one show? Because I'd see that. 204 00:10:29,076 --> 00:10:30,839 Matthew. Sir, I'm sorry. 205 00:10:31,011 --> 00:10:33,377 Let me just explain to you my situation, okay? 206 00:10:33,547 --> 00:10:36,846 My 9-year-old son is in there with his father and his new girlfriend. 207 00:10:37,017 --> 00:10:39,417 And there's a very strong possibility... 208 00:10:39,586 --> 00:10:43,249 ...that he's gonna let him go to the bathroom on his own. 209 00:10:43,957 --> 00:10:46,084 - I'm so sorry, I didn't know. CHRISTINE: That's okay. 210 00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:49,889 We keep two emergency tickets available for situations like this. 211 00:10:50,064 --> 00:10:52,294 Is the, uh, fourth row okay? 212 00:10:52,466 --> 00:10:54,161 - That would be great, yeah. - Okay. 213 00:10:54,335 --> 00:10:56,599 Ugh, let me just get those for you. Where do we keep them? 214 00:10:56,770 --> 00:10:58,670 Oh, duh, they're right here. 215 00:11:12,186 --> 00:11:14,552 He's not getting the tickets, is he? 216 00:11:14,722 --> 00:11:17,623 Oh, no, sweetie, he's not. 217 00:11:20,194 --> 00:11:21,627 Come on, let's get out of here. 218 00:11:21,795 --> 00:11:24,662 We'll go get you some chaps for the gay rodeo. 219 00:11:25,566 --> 00:11:28,160 No, I have to get in there to see what's happening. 220 00:11:28,335 --> 00:11:30,462 Why don't you call Richard on his cell phone? 221 00:11:30,637 --> 00:11:32,901 Because then he'll dig his heels in deeper. 222 00:11:33,073 --> 00:11:35,234 He's stubborn, like Daddy. 223 00:11:35,409 --> 00:11:37,172 [GRO ANS] 224 00:11:37,911 --> 00:11:40,436 Maybe you're overreacting. Richard's a pretty good dad. 225 00:11:40,614 --> 00:11:43,777 No, I know, I know, but I just gotta get in close enough... 226 00:11:43,951 --> 00:11:47,148 ...so I can keep an eye on Ritchie without Richard knowing. 227 00:11:47,321 --> 00:11:49,585 All right, you know, I hate to have to do this... 228 00:11:49,757 --> 00:11:54,057 ...but I may have to pull out my secret weapons. 229 00:11:54,828 --> 00:11:58,161 Oh, God. You're not dragging those things out again, are you? 230 00:11:59,266 --> 00:12:03,066 Hey, these babies got me into Live Aid on two continents... 231 00:12:03,237 --> 00:12:06,832 ...and the L.A. County Fair when I left my purse in the car. 232 00:12:07,007 --> 00:12:09,202 It's hard to believe you're the more responsible parent. 233 00:12:09,376 --> 00:12:10,968 I know, right? 234 00:12:12,246 --> 00:12:13,770 Oh, my God, I won't have to. 235 00:12:14,248 --> 00:12:16,614 There he is, all alone. I knew it. 236 00:12:16,784 --> 00:12:20,379 Ritchie, Ritchie. It's okay, sweetie, Mommy's here. 237 00:12:20,554 --> 00:12:22,613 - Oh... - What the hell are you doing? 238 00:12:22,790 --> 00:12:24,985 Oh, sorry, I thought that was my son. 239 00:12:25,159 --> 00:12:26,717 Well, it's not. 240 00:12:29,196 --> 00:12:31,824 You know what, you should keep a closer eye on your kid. 241 00:12:31,999 --> 00:12:34,365 This is a rock concert. 242 00:12:34,535 --> 00:12:36,969 What kind of mother are you? 243 00:12:37,204 --> 00:12:39,934 All right, that's it. We're going in. 244 00:12:42,943 --> 00:12:45,571 This can't be good for me. 245 00:12:51,218 --> 00:12:52,708 Now, where are you going? 246 00:12:53,454 --> 00:12:55,217 Uh, well, I'm with them. 247 00:12:55,389 --> 00:12:57,721 No, you're not. 248 00:12:59,893 --> 00:13:03,989 Am I with them now? 249 00:13:04,565 --> 00:13:06,624 No, you're getting further away. 250 00:13:09,369 --> 00:13:11,064 Look, this is really important... 251 00:13:11,238 --> 00:13:14,401 It's always really important, but there's nothing I can do. 252 00:13:14,575 --> 00:13:17,601 - Lf I let every middle-aged, oversexed fan... - Middle-aged? 253 00:13:18,812 --> 00:13:22,714 I'm not middle-aged. I'm young. I'm spry. 254 00:13:23,817 --> 00:13:26,718 For your information, I can still do a backbend. 255 00:13:26,887 --> 00:13:30,084 I mean, from a lying-down position, and I'll need you to spot me. 256 00:13:30,257 --> 00:13:32,487 Okay, I don't do that. 257 00:13:32,659 --> 00:13:34,183 Now, get out of here. 258 00:13:34,361 --> 00:13:36,625 Oh, come on, I really need to get in there. 259 00:13:36,797 --> 00:13:38,924 Nothing I can do. 260 00:13:39,099 --> 00:13:43,195 Tsk. Well, that's what they said at the L.A. County Fair. 261 00:14:04,324 --> 00:14:05,985 You looking? 262 00:14:07,628 --> 00:14:08,652 Thank you. 263 00:14:09,763 --> 00:14:11,196 What? 264 00:14:11,732 --> 00:14:14,394 - You said, "Good-looking." - No, l... 265 00:14:14,568 --> 00:14:16,229 No, I didn't. I said, "You looking?" 266 00:14:16,403 --> 00:14:18,735 Why would I say, "Good-looking"? 267 00:14:19,106 --> 00:14:21,097 Because I'm good-looking. 268 00:14:22,075 --> 00:14:24,703 Well, I guess you're pretty good-looking, yeah. 269 00:14:25,145 --> 00:14:26,612 Thank you. 270 00:14:27,047 --> 00:14:28,173 Hey, um... 271 00:14:28,348 --> 00:14:30,714 [WHISPERS] ...do you know anyone selling tickets? 272 00:14:31,618 --> 00:14:34,109 - Yeah, I'm selling. - Oh, yes, looking. 273 00:14:34,288 --> 00:14:36,756 - No, I'm definitely looking. - What do you need? 274 00:14:36,924 --> 00:14:41,861 Uh, two tickets on the floor. 275 00:14:43,630 --> 00:14:46,724 Uh, no problem. Five hundred a pop. 276 00:14:47,367 --> 00:14:49,267 Well, that's a little out of my range. 277 00:14:49,436 --> 00:14:51,495 What do you have for $50? 278 00:14:51,939 --> 00:14:56,035 I can get you a T-shirt with "The Rolling Stones" spelled wrong. 279 00:14:56,944 --> 00:14:59,344 - Really, that's the best you can do? - Yeah. 280 00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:02,380 For a good-looking guy like me? 281 00:15:11,058 --> 00:15:12,491 Oh... 282 00:15:13,327 --> 00:15:16,296 - Ugh. Excuse me, uh, do you work here? - Yeah. 283 00:15:16,463 --> 00:15:20,092 Okay, I have got to get inside, and I don't have time to play games... 284 00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:23,031 ...so let's quit cutting bait and start fishing. 285 00:15:24,104 --> 00:15:27,870 - Cool! - Okay, can I get in? 286 00:15:28,041 --> 00:15:29,440 I just work concessions. 287 00:15:30,677 --> 00:15:34,773 Ugh, oh, my God, I just flashed you for nothing? 288 00:15:34,948 --> 00:15:36,210 I can get you a small soda. 289 00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:39,377 Small soda? 290 00:15:41,555 --> 00:15:43,716 Okay, a diet, please. 291 00:15:51,832 --> 00:15:54,062 Hey, where'd you get the soda? 292 00:15:55,335 --> 00:15:57,462 I don't wanna talk about it. 293 00:15:58,372 --> 00:16:00,363 Well, I have good news. 294 00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,804 Two tickets, tenth row orchestra. 295 00:16:03,276 --> 00:16:06,473 - Matthew, that's great. - Only 300 bucks. 296 00:16:06,647 --> 00:16:08,171 Three hundred bucks? 297 00:16:08,348 --> 00:16:10,179 I talked him down from 500. 298 00:16:10,350 --> 00:16:14,548 Plus I got him to throw in this "Rolling Scones" T-shirt. 299 00:16:14,955 --> 00:16:17,321 Hey, well, at least we're getting in. 300 00:16:17,491 --> 00:16:18,822 I'll be able to see Ritchie. 301 00:16:18,992 --> 00:16:21,961 Hey, it might be the last time we're able to see the Stones. 302 00:16:22,129 --> 00:16:23,153 [DOORS OPEN] 303 00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:25,321 [CROWD CHEERING AND CHATTERING] 304 00:16:31,171 --> 00:16:34,299 We're not gonna be able to see the Stones, are we? 305 00:16:34,474 --> 00:16:36,908 No, sweetie, we're not. 306 00:16:41,481 --> 00:16:42,743 Oh, damn it. 307 00:16:42,916 --> 00:16:45,180 Went right to voice mail again. Where are they? 308 00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:48,446 I'm sure they're on their way. Let's just go home. 309 00:16:49,289 --> 00:16:52,190 No. I wanna be here when they get back. 310 00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:55,157 God, the concert ended two hours ago. 311 00:16:55,328 --> 00:16:58,559 This is exactly what I was afraid of, you know? 312 00:16:58,732 --> 00:17:01,292 Ugh, I'm so used to being there for him. 313 00:17:01,468 --> 00:17:04,562 I mean, and now, one day a week and every other weekend... 314 00:17:04,738 --> 00:17:07,969 ...I have no say in what he does or where he goes. 315 00:17:08,141 --> 00:17:10,336 Ugh, there's nothing I can do about it. 316 00:17:10,510 --> 00:17:12,705 - That sucks. - I know. 317 00:17:12,879 --> 00:17:14,904 Oh, God. 318 00:17:15,315 --> 00:17:19,012 All right, give me my bra back. These things are sticking to my stomach. 319 00:17:21,054 --> 00:17:24,217 This definitely is not good for me. 320 00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:32,557 [BOTH SCREAM] 321 00:17:37,904 --> 00:17:41,237 I haven't woken up to that view in a long time. 322 00:17:41,975 --> 00:17:44,500 At least now I know why you married him. 323 00:17:47,914 --> 00:17:50,439 - What the hell are you two doing here? - Richard. 324 00:17:50,617 --> 00:17:53,780 The better question is, where were you all night? 325 00:17:53,954 --> 00:17:55,854 What? I was here. 326 00:17:56,523 --> 00:17:58,787 No, you weren't, because we went to the concert... 327 00:17:58,959 --> 00:18:01,189 ...and we came back here, and you never showed up. 328 00:18:01,361 --> 00:18:02,453 Because we never left. 329 00:18:03,196 --> 00:18:04,686 We decided not to go to the concert... 330 00:18:04,865 --> 00:18:06,594 ...so we rented movies. We were in bed by 9. 331 00:18:07,334 --> 00:18:10,895 - You didn't go to the concert? - New Christine talked me out of it. 332 00:18:11,071 --> 00:18:12,368 - She did? RICHARD: Yeah. 333 00:18:12,539 --> 00:18:15,099 She saw how upset you were when you dropped Ritchie off. 334 00:18:15,275 --> 00:18:16,867 She couldn't go through with it. 335 00:18:17,043 --> 00:18:19,603 She did that for me? Why? 336 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,377 She's nice. 337 00:18:22,682 --> 00:18:25,981 Oh. Well, tell her I said thanks. 338 00:18:26,419 --> 00:18:29,047 Maybe you should tell her yourself. 339 00:18:30,557 --> 00:18:32,752 Yeah, this is a great way to start the day. 340 00:18:38,665 --> 00:18:40,792 So you saw the Stones? 341 00:18:41,835 --> 00:18:43,063 I'm afraid so. 342 00:18:43,236 --> 00:18:46,364 You should really wear underwear under that robe. 343 00:18:47,808 --> 00:18:49,400 Hello? 344 00:18:50,844 --> 00:18:53,472 - Hello? - Oh, hi, Christine. 345 00:18:53,647 --> 00:18:55,774 You here to pick up Ritchie? He's still asleep. 346 00:18:55,949 --> 00:18:59,749 Oh, no, actually, I wanted to talk to you. Um... 347 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:01,509 [SIGHS] 348 00:19:01,688 --> 00:19:05,590 Look, I know I'm not always the nicest person to you... 349 00:19:05,759 --> 00:19:07,522 ...and sometimes I make fun of you. 350 00:19:07,994 --> 00:19:12,522 I, uh... I do this bit where you can't figure out how to open up a window. 351 00:19:15,368 --> 00:19:16,892 People seem to really like it... 352 00:19:17,070 --> 00:19:20,130 ...but it's probably not fair to you. 353 00:19:20,707 --> 00:19:22,504 Yeah, I heard about that bit. 354 00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,911 I also heard about the one where I try to drink a soda with my ear. 355 00:19:28,949 --> 00:19:32,146 And that one, while, heh... While very funny... 356 00:19:32,319 --> 00:19:35,186 ...is, um, also rather unfair to you. 357 00:19:35,355 --> 00:19:39,121 You know, Richard told me that you talked him out of going to the concert... 358 00:19:39,292 --> 00:19:41,385 ...and I just wanted to thank you. 359 00:19:41,561 --> 00:19:44,689 Well, I could see you were upset. I'm not a mother, but I have one. 360 00:19:47,834 --> 00:19:49,324 After my folks got divorced... 361 00:19:49,502 --> 00:19:52,062 ...my dad used to do things just to make my mother mad. 362 00:19:52,239 --> 00:19:55,231 That's how I got my ears pierced and my tattoo. 363 00:19:55,408 --> 00:19:57,342 And my half brother. 364 00:19:59,045 --> 00:20:00,376 I always felt bad for my mom. 365 00:20:00,780 --> 00:20:04,079 Oh, well, you know, I don't think Richard was doing this just to get to me. 366 00:20:04,251 --> 00:20:06,242 No, of course not. Richard's a great dad. 367 00:20:07,087 --> 00:20:09,078 I want you to know, as long as I'm around... 368 00:20:09,256 --> 00:20:11,349 ...l'm gonna look out for Ritchie and for you. 369 00:20:11,892 --> 00:20:14,759 Oh, wow. Thanks. Ha. 370 00:20:15,295 --> 00:20:17,525 You're a really decent person, aren't you? 371 00:20:17,964 --> 00:20:19,488 It's not that hard. 372 00:20:21,801 --> 00:20:25,430 Well, anyway, I won't do those bits anymore. 373 00:20:25,605 --> 00:20:27,368 Probably. 374 00:20:27,974 --> 00:20:30,374 Harder for some people than others. 375 00:20:31,278 --> 00:20:33,712 You know what, that is a really great bra. 376 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,780 It really holds everything up there. 377 00:20:35,949 --> 00:20:37,940 - What kind is that? - I'm not wearing a bra. 378 00:20:41,955 --> 00:20:44,753 You know, you make it really hard to be nice to you. 379 00:21:12,686 --> 00:21:14,677 [ENGLISH SDH] 29574

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.