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1
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,920
["The Flower Duet"]
2
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,960
Busty divorcee, fifties,
3
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,560
seeks energetic male, any age,
4
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:31,200
to share dinner,
wine, and et cetera.
5
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:34,560
Box 19.
6
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,280
[doorbell rings]
7
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:43,320
Shot it myself this morning.
8
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,600
No time for hanging.
9
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,520
Mid-season hens,
10
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:51,120
best eaten as soon as they
come out of rigour mortis,
11
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,200
Don't you agree?
12
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:54,840
Wait there.
13
00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,440
I'll go and scare up some gravy.
14
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,600
[ominous instrumental music]
15
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:16,800
A few lumps.
16
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,120
The odd giblet's not
going to kill us, hey?
17
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,560
Here's mud in your eye.
18
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,640
Well, I do like a man
who can guess my size.
19
00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:38,320
Oh!
20
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:42,920
Oh, not quite what
I had in mind,
21
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,640
but I'm game if you are.
22
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:53,200
How many corners are there
in a kitten? [Laughs]
23
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,720
How many mittens in a rectangle?
24
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,560
[laughing uncontrollably]
25
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:03,000
Oh, these furry little
blighters are blurring into one.
26
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:05,640
Oh!
27
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,760
Oh, I might shut
my eyes for a tick.
28
00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,760
[ominous instrumental music]
29
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,120
[theme music plays]
30
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,960
[energetic instrumental music]
31
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:28,920
Morning sister.
32
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,040
Yes, good morning to you, Peggy.
33
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:34,280
Though, I doubt it's been
a good morning for our
34
00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:35,760
hapless milkman.
35
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,120
Oh, I know.
36
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,960
It's Terry's second
ol' stiff this month.
37
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:40,040
Poor Terry.
38
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,000
Let's see if the
unfortunate deceased
39
00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:45,240
has her own tale to tell.
40
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:55,320
Hilary Sympson-Smythe, age 58.
41
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,880
Likely cause of death,
coronary heart disease.
42
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,000
The jigsaw puzzle is
"You Shall Have No Pie,"
43
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,360
based on a nursery rhyme
44
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:04,520
in which three kittens
lose their mittens.
45
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,720
Yeah, I'm familiar with
the Mother Goose canon.
46
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,080
Hardly thrilling enough
to prompt a heart attack.
47
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,400
Just me, or is there something
wrong with this picture?
48
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,720
Well, the picture
and the puzzle.
49
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,720
Meaning?
50
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,560
Piece missing, bottom left.
51
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:21,840
Question is,
52
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,800
why would anyone attempt
to 200-piece puzzle
53
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,320
with a face covered
in cold cream?
54
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,000
Why indeed?
55
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,640
The greasy pieces are a
puzzler's worst nightmare.
56
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:32,400
All right, maybe not the worst,
57
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,400
but definitely top five.
58
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,480
Would you mind taking
Peggy house-to-house?
59
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,680
See if anyone heard or
saw anything last night?
60
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:40,760
Sir.
61
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:49,280
Lily scent, lanolin base notes.
62
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,680
How long would it take
to do 200-piece puzzle?
63
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,200
Ah, well that can be expressed
64
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:57,360
as N multiplied by N,
65
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,840
so a 200-piece puzzle
66
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,416
is four times as
difficult as a 100-piece,
67
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,760
while a 500 is 25 times
harder than a 100-piece,
68
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,856
the reason being that one
must compare each jigsaw piece
69
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,320
to N other pieces.
70
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:11,920
Quite a while.
71
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,560
Yeah, unless she had help.
72
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:16,856
And given that
she's gone all out
73
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,160
on the frock,
lipstick and pearls,
74
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,360
I bet that help was
a gentleman caller.
75
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:29,400
Whoever was here was
certainly careful to tidy up.
76
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:30,600
Oh I'll say.
77
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:31,680
Not a print insight.
78
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,960
Powdery residue on the
coffee table though.
79
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:37,440
And some on the sofa too.
80
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:43,760
Tucked behind the bread bin.
81
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,640
Ah.
82
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,120
Someone should head
down to the Bugle.
83
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:53,040
And I suppose that
someone ought to be you.
84
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,960
[knocking]
85
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,240
I need to talk to you
about your lonely hearts.
86
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,960
Perfect timing.
87
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,936
You can take advantage of
our one-month free offer.
88
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,360
For an investigation.
89
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,920
Obviously I'd like to help,
90
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,320
but the persons behind our
personals are confidential, Sam,
91
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:17,600
I'm sure you'll understand.
92
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:18,936
Even if your
personals are linked
93
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,680
to a possible murder case?
94
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:21,760
Keep talking.
95
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,720
It's strictly on the QT,
96
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,960
but there was a woman found
dead with a jigsaw puzzle,
97
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,640
and her face full of cold cream.
98
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,560
And you're suspicious because?
99
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,080
A hunch.
100
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,800
Do I get an exclusive?
101
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,520
Once I know what
we're dealing with,
102
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:36,960
and it's safe to go public.
103
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,160
Is that a yes?
104
00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:40,720
It's not a no.
105
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:42,640
All right, follow me.
106
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,680
Sympson-Smythe,
Sympson-Smythe...
107
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,480
Ah, cheers.
108
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,000
Colin, you're a diamond.
109
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:52,400
Busty divorcee, fifties,
110
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,280
seeks energetic male any age
111
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:55,840
to share dinner,
wine, et cetera.
112
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,520
Box 19. Hands-off.
113
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,160
Fair to say,
114
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,200
Hilary was one of our more
enthusiastic customers.
115
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,160
Oh, let's hope it
wasn't the "et cetera"
116
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,320
that finished her off.
117
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,960
So, talk me through the system?
118
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:09,520
Someone places an ad,
119
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:13,720
for example, "lonely lady seeks
tall, handsome stranger,".
120
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,640
Or, "frustrated bachelor
seeks assertive",
121
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,080
"successful woman."
122
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,440
They're assigned a box number,
123
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,560
all correspondence is checked
and forwarded every Thursday.
124
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,960
How soon can you get the names
and addresses of these men?
125
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,080
He described him as smart,
126
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:35,080
upright, gray-haired
and smoking a pipe.
127
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:36,536
Mr. Arnold left the
honeysuckle cottage,
128
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,200
saw him when he went out
to retrieve a pigeon.
129
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:40,040
A what?
130
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:40,880
A pigeon.
131
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,200
Nevermind.
132
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:43,656
You and Peggy need
to start eliminating.
133
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,320
There's 34 names on that list.
134
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:48,480
Right, I shall begin.
135
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,160
As I suspected.
136
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,680
Diethyl barbituric acid...
137
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:56,000
Please don't touch.
138
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,080
Diethyl barbituric acid.
139
00:07:58,160 --> 00:07:59,560
Barbital in powder form,
140
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,120
brand name bentanol,
prescribed for insomnia.
141
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,840
Progress! Good man.
142
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,920
Oh, and if there was any doubt
143
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,680
about whether her
death was suspicious,
144
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,720
you know, Simpson-Smythe
had enough in her system
145
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,440
to fell a giraffe, so...
146
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:12,520
Hmm.
147
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:14,600
Right.
148
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,680
You've sent me on
that snowball, sister.
149
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,800
I've earned myself one
too if you're buying.
150
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,000
Evening, sister.
151
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,320
Hello Ruth!
152
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,840
I thought you always
bought your own.
153
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,056
Well sometimes a
girl likes to leave
154
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,360
her principles at the door, Sam,
155
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:27,400
you know that.
156
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,840
I'll do the honours,
what'll it be?
157
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:32,920
The usual, thanks.
158
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,360
I knew there was something
about your mystery
159
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,160
that rang a bell.
160
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,920
Alice Croft died at
home on May the ninth,
161
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,440
supposedly of natural causes.
162
00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,080
Oh, yes, Mrs. Croft,
163
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,600
a local counsellor
if memory serves.
164
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,320
I interviewed her
daughter for the obit.
165
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,920
She said how tragic it was
166
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,856
that mother didn't get to
finish her new jigsaw puzzle,
167
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,160
the "Madonna of the Yarnwinder."
168
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:56,800
Apparently the family
took great comfort
169
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,040
from the fact the Holy
Mother was somehow with her
170
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,640
when she passed.
171
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:02,640
Interesting, but it's
not necessarily a link.
172
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,280
Agreed, which is why I called
173
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,120
and asked a couple
more questions.
174
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,920
It seems Alice Croft
was wearing cold cream
175
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,240
when she was discovered.
176
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,520
Oh gosh. I don't
suppose she was...
177
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:13,600
A lonely heart?
178
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,480
"Buxom from Bath.
179
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:18,440
"Attractive mature
widow, fit 50s,"
180
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,760
"seeks energetic
male for frisky fun."
181
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,080
"Box 22."
182
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:24,080
Sam, you need to
let me go to press.
183
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:24,960
Not yet.
184
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:25,760
Why the hell not?
185
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,280
Sorry, sister.
186
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:28,120
No, no, that's quite all right.
187
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,440
Pretend I'm not here.
188
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,240
Going public will
cause mass hysteria
189
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,160
and scare the killer
back into the woodwork.
190
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,840
Then let's hope for your
sake he doesn't strike again.
191
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,960
I wouldn't want that
on my conscience.
192
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,800
Strictly entre nous,
193
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,480
one gets tired being of
in the same position,
194
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:52,920
week in, week out.
195
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,400
I have you to thank
196
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:57,920
for opening my eyes
to new possibilities.
197
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,640
The pleasure was all
mine, Mrs. Clark.
198
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,480
[laughing]
199
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,000
[clears throat] Morning.
200
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,880
I'll, um, freshen the teapot.
201
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,840
Thought I would
send WPC Button out
202
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:12,000
to check the sale of
jigsaw puzzles in the area.
203
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,160
Right, good.
204
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,320
Anything else you
want to tell me about?
205
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,200
Presuming Cyril isn't listening
in from beyond on the grave?
206
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:23,240
[footsteps approach]
207
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,280
There you are.
208
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,920
Sergeant Livingston needs
his strength building up.
209
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,240
I'm not sure I want
to know what for.
210
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,200
You are honestly
not insinuating.
211
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:39,880
What?
212
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,920
I have joined Mrs. Clam
213
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,400
and the bell ringers of
St. Michael's Church.
214
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:45,520
Ah, praise be.
215
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,040
Why didn't you tell me?
216
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:49,680
And have you make
a mockery of me?
217
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:50,760
Would I?
218
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,240
No, I think it's great.
219
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,720
So if I joined the bell ringers
would I get sausages too?
220
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,360
Have mine,
221
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,360
the British banger's a
taste I've yet to acquire.
222
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,400
Ah.
223
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,320
Watch out.
224
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,736
Now Mrs. C knows
you're a joiner-iner,
225
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,640
she'll be trying to join
you up to the GSADS.
226
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:13,240
The G-what?
227
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,760
The Great Slaughter
Amateur Dramatics Society.
228
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,840
[laughs]
229
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:21,760
Sorry, line?
230
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,600
Wait, got it.
231
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:31,080
It's true, you love me with
every step of the waltz.
232
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:33,760
"The merry widow was
last here," Dottie.
233
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:37,880
Let's take five to revisit
the script, shall we?
234
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,880
And try to not
just say the lines,
235
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,440
but feel them in our core.
236
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:45,800
Rodolfo.
237
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:54,480
My core feels there's
some impropriety going on.
238
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,080
Honestly, I didn't
see it won't come
239
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,120
to a bit of Gilbert and
Sullivan or Noel Coward,
240
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,960
if one insists on being modern.
241
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,200
Hello, new blood.
242
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:10,920
Certainly not.
243
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,720
We're looking for
Colin, if he's around.
244
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,640
I know exactly where he is.
245
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,040
He's either in the lav,
246
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:17,800
or adjusting the lights,
247
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,720
or, sorry who are
you looking for?
248
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:21,880
Morning officers.
249
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,400
Everything all right?
250
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:24,536
[Sam] Just a quick word, please.
251
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:25,560
Of course.
252
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,880
Don't keep him too long.
253
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,320
Chaos descends if Dottie
doesn't have a prompt.
254
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,440
Again, from page 66
please, she says!
255
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,840
Sorry to interrupt
whatever this is.
256
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,480
Dostoevsky, Crime
and Punishment.
257
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,840
Mother's quite ambitious,
258
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,960
the cast have being great
sports about it so far,
259
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:51,600
although she hasn't told
them about the unitards yet.
260
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:59,000
We just wanted to check
something with you.
261
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,120
Confounding white residue,
262
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,800
from the coffee table.
263
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,520
Subjected it to every
test in Christendom,
264
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:10,840
yet it stubbornly refuses
265
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,240
to be any familiar
chemical compound.
266
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,680
This test is my last hurrah.
267
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,240
Fingers crossed.
268
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,560
Oh, that is unexpected.
269
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,880
What am I seeing?
270
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,080
Plain as a pike staff.
271
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:38,520
Polyhedral granules.
272
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,080
Central hylamide fivery cleft.
273
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:42,840
Corn flour.
274
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,880
Of course, what was I thinking?
275
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,080
So why is it scattered
all over our crime scene?
276
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,216
Thickening the plot, perhaps.
277
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,280
[laughs]
278
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,640
Any insights into the
world of lonely hearts?
279
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,280
Well, thanks to Colin,
280
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,800
we now know Alice and Hilary
both dated two of the same men.
281
00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:04,880
Yes, box 22,
282
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:09,800
Major Roger Travis, AKA
the Major Heart Sing.
283
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,360
And Box 30,
284
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:15,560
retired chemist,
285
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:16,680
Professor...
286
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,320
Claude.
287
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,000
Claude Several,
AKA Bunsen Burner.
288
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,880
Ouch. A man after my own heart.
289
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,760
Interest purely
professional of course.
290
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,280
Good old Colin.
291
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,200
Yeah. Good old Colin.
292
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,760
Ah, the pensive pause.
293
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:41,040
Something a bit obsessive
about him, don't you think?
294
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:44,000
The pocket squares and
the persnickety systems.
295
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,760
Does really depend on
one's own benchmark
296
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,040
in regards to efficiency,
297
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,200
and grooming.
298
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:54,080
I suppose he does have a
connection to both women.
299
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,160
Exactly.
300
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,520
Time to make some house calls.
301
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,000
I only met each lady the once,
302
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,720
and they were but two of many.
303
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,160
So you consider women
interchangeable.
304
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,240
Is that it, professor?
305
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:12,760
Actually I'm a sufferer
of prosopagnosia,
306
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,400
a condition that renders one...
307
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,200
Unable to recognise faces,
308
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:18,960
even one's own.
309
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,680
Very good Sergeant.
310
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:23,000
So I differentiate
women by smell.
311
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,400
Smell?
312
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,920
I can detect different
blood types, in fact.
313
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,640
Hilary was B positive,
314
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,040
quite a rare one, that.
315
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,840
[inhales deeply]
316
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,520
O-negative.
317
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:39,920
We think the perpetrator
318
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,720
may have had
pharmacological knowledge.
319
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:45,640
If you're suggesting I use
my expertise to drug women,
320
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:49,200
I'll assure you I've no need
of chemical intervention
321
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,600
of any kind.
322
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,200
Where were you the night
before last, professor?
323
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,440
A partial eclipse
if I'm not mistaken.
324
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,800
Are you given to lunar
distractions, inspector?
325
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,200
No.
326
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,920
And yet even rational
men such as ourselves
327
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:08,040
can't help but feel the
eternal tango of the cosmos.
328
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,720
Where were you the night
of June 13th, professor?
329
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:16,160
I was at a fundraising dinner
for cripples in Mombasa.
330
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,640
I'm a passionate and
vigorous campaigner.
331
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:20,920
And you can prove that?
332
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,240
My passion and vigour?
333
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:26,480
No, your whereabouts, professor.
334
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:27,560
No.
335
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,520
But I've every
confidence that you can.
336
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,560
You sure he'll be here?
337
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,880
Half a pint of stout at 5:45.
338
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,160
Word is you can set your
watch by Major Travis.
339
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,480
[clears throat] Major Travis?
340
00:16:58,560 --> 00:16:59,360
Yes?
341
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,840
Sorry to bother you.
342
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,040
We're investigating an
incident the night before last.
343
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,880
Must be serious if
you're inconveniencing
344
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,600
law-abiding citizens
on a Saturday.
345
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:10,600
Indeed.
346
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,200
Just a couple of questions,
347
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,960
and we'll let you get
back to your racing pages.
348
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,240
Fire away then, Detective
Inspector Gillespie.
349
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,960
Where were you the
evening of June 13th?
350
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,640
I was here until 6:30 sharp.
351
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:26,880
Then I walked home.
352
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,160
Straight home?
353
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,040
Any stops, deviations?
354
00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:33,640
I may have taken the
scenic route via the lake.
355
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,440
Did you see or speak to
anyone that could verify that?
356
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:37,520
No.
357
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,600
My shrapnel injury was
causing discomfort,
358
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,280
so I turned in early.
359
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:45,320
And yet you may have taken
the scenic route as a detour.
360
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,360
I don't recall.
361
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,040
That's the trouble
with war wounds.
362
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:50,840
They tend to manifest
without warning
363
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,840
at inconvenient moments.
364
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,040
Well, excuse the
inconvenience, Major.
365
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,760
We'll be in touch if
there's anything further.
366
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,920
Obviously I would
take on a male role,
367
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,480
but the beard glue
brings me out in a rash.
368
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:12,080
Oh, that was the front gate.
369
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,080
Mrs. Clam, got to go.
370
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,640
See you and Dottie for the
readthrough in the morning.
371
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,520
Commonly Wallflower 52,
372
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:22,840
hoping to bloom.
373
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,640
Better late than never.
374
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,960
Are you my sunshine?
375
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,760
Will respond to all.
376
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:31,720
[doorbell rings]
377
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:32,800
Box 31.
378
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,440
[knocking]
379
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:50,720
Morning!
380
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,760
Queen of the
kitchen as promised.
381
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,560
Don't tell the vicar
it's my new Bible.
382
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,200
Once you've served
kir in a wine glass,
383
00:18:58,280 --> 00:18:59,360
there's no going back.
384
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:04,040
Oh, I love a Buff Orpington.
385
00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:05,600
Morning, thespians.
386
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,680
Right, I've color-coded
everyone's part.
387
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:08,760
I'm green.
388
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,760
Dottie, you're pink.
389
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:11,840
Lois, you're blue.
390
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:14,480
Lois?
391
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,120
You're blue.
392
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:18,680
I'm pink!
393
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:19,760
Blue.
394
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,200
Oh dear, Lois, you're...
395
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,280
[screams]
396
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,640
What kind of miscreant
could do such a thing?
397
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,280
You've had a terrible shock.
398
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,680
I'll take you in for a
cup of tea, Mrs. Clam.
399
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,040
Or something stronger.
400
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,720
Any thoughts to the
time of death, sister?
401
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:58,680
Well, I'd estimate between
eight and 11 in the PM.
402
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:00,600
No one could have
seen this coming.
403
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,200
And yet the same M.O.
404
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,520
The cold cream, the corn flour,
the missing jigsaw piece.
405
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:06,360
Why?
406
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,360
Well, my guess is the cold cream
407
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,560
is to render the victim
faceless, anonymous,
408
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:16,360
unable to judge his actions.
409
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,160
Certainly a troubled
psyche at work.
410
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,400
To hell with his psyche.
411
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,440
He's a sick opportunist
using the lonely hearts
412
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,320
to prey on unsuspecting victims.
413
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,080
Yes, but we still need to
understand the motivation.
414
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,760
It's not sexual,
415
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,720
but he obviously likes to
spend time with his victims.
416
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,880
I don't need to understand him.
417
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,280
I just need to catch him.
418
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:38,600
I need some air.
419
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:52,920
Sister?
420
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,160
Yes.
421
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:57,920
Sister.
422
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,680
Look.
423
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,960
I'd say someone took
off their muddy shoes
424
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,200
before entering the house.
425
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,960
Must have dropped
out of the tread.
426
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,080
A stout walking shoe, I'd wager.
427
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,200
How do we know it
belonged to the murderer?
428
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:28,976
Well, given that it
rained yesterday evening
429
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,200
for the first time in weeks,
430
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:31,616
and that Lois isn't
the kind of housekeeper
431
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:32,776
to allow any speck
to go un-scrubbed,
432
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:33,840
I'd say extremely sure.
433
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,320
What is that? Some
type of grass?
434
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,520
Barley, by the looks.
435
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,400
It won't tell us
who our killer is,
436
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,600
but it will certainly
tell us where he's been.
437
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,840
He was lying, Professor Several.
438
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:03,920
Bunsen burner?
439
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:05,960
That charity event?
440
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:07,256
Two eye-witnesses saw him leave
441
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,240
straight after the canapes.
442
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:10,520
And the night that Alice died?
443
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,440
Claims he was at
some silent retreat
444
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:16,000
in Lord Pasternak's
folly, alone,
445
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:17,960
hardly watertight.
446
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,520
I think we should pay
the professor a visit.
447
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,920
Sure I can't tempt
you to a Bloody Mary?
448
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:25,840
Or a Virgin if you prefer?
449
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,800
Thank you, no.
450
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,760
Where were you last
night, Professor?
451
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,120
Tucked up in bed with
Odette and Pamela,
452
00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:34,520
my cats,
453
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,120
reciting Plutarch together.
454
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,880
Siamese are very vocal you know.
455
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,880
This fundraiser on June 13th,
456
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,200
you were seen leaving early.
457
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,240
Ah.
458
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:48,120
It's time for some
un-embroidered facts, Professor.
459
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,480
It's true.
460
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,360
I'm dishonest.
461
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,720
And weak, a slave to temptation.
462
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:00,400
I was not alone.
463
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,960
The charity treasurer and I
went to the little Grange Hotel.
464
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,760
Why did you lie?
465
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,520
Because the lady in question
is a local magistrate.
466
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,800
Wouldn't do for her
reputation to be sullied.
467
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,680
Three women have been
killed, Professor.
468
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,360
Your lady friend's reputation
is the least of my worries.
469
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:20,480
It's true.
470
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,040
The receptionist signed him in
471
00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:23,960
and checked him out
the next morning,
472
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,760
and delivered at
various intervals,
473
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,760
a bottle of absinthe,
two hair nets,
474
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,920
and a plate of Welsh rarebit.
475
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,400
No accounting for taste.
476
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:33,800
Indeed not.
477
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,840
As for Colin, he left
our rehearsal at 6:45,
478
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:38,600
took the train to Bonnington,
479
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,400
and alighted at Little Sockford,
480
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,520
for a harpsichord recital.
481
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:44,800
Anyone see him?
482
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:46,200
The conductor
clipped his ticket.
483
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,520
He returned home at 2200 hours,
484
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,400
bidding goodnight
to the scoutmaster
485
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,600
before heading up
the front path.
486
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:53,696
And I bet he could
tell us the colour
487
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,720
of the scoutmaster's shoelaces.
488
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:56,800
[Felix] I dare say.
489
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,240
Which leaves the Major.
490
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,960
Any progress on that footprint?
491
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:05,120
Matter of fact, yes.
492
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:10,360
So the large structures
are tree seeds,
493
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:11,960
some sort of conifer.
494
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,400
Combined with the barley
fragments and fungal spores,
495
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,280
we're looking at a
specific time and place,
496
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:18,880
a pedological
photograph if you will.
497
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,760
A photograph of what?
498
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,736
We'd have to sample mud from
barley fields in the area.
499
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,920
But if we can locate
the same profile,
500
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,440
We'll know who the killer is.
501
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,360
Let's go and see if the Major's
got any mud on his shoes.
502
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,640
"Honest, loyal, ex-army
gentlemen of means"
503
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,960
"seeks warmhearted lady for
companionship and home fires."
504
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:46,480
A lady like Alice Croft
or Hilary Sympson-Smythe,
505
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:48,720
or Lois Mason.
506
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:52,040
For the umpteenth time,
I've never met these women.
507
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:56,200
Mud was found in
Lois Mason's porch.
508
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,600
The remnants perfectly match
the tread of your shoes.
509
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,080
As they no doubt would
510
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,840
the shoes of everyone else
511
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,200
who owns the same
ubiquitous brand.
512
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,880
Awfully clean, aren't they?
513
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:10,560
Given that you live
in a rural area.
514
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:15,280
Well, you can take the
man out of the army.
515
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,640
Seems you've
discovered my footwear
516
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,360
is as clean as my conscience,
517
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,040
so you're clutching
at straws, inspector.
518
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,360
You've visited
Gravestocks News Agents
519
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,760
two days before
Hilary was murdered.
520
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,440
What did you buy?
521
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,640
I believe it was
a jigsaw puzzle.
522
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:37,960
A jigsaw of what?
523
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:39,040
No idea.
524
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:41,760
One with a picture on it.
525
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:42,880
Who for?
526
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,400
My Aunt Edith.
527
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,080
And if you'd done your job,
528
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,400
you would have found out that
I also bought a birthday card
529
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,080
and some parcel string in
order to post it to her
530
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:57,320
for her birthday,
as I do every year.
531
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,160
What's with the jigsaw
puzzle fixation, Major?
532
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,240
Come now, Inspector.
533
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,840
Once a lady's fertile and
attractive years are behind her,
534
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,200
what else is there
for her to do?
535
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:13,200
Now, unless you have
some actual evidence,
536
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:14,280
Inspector Gillespie,
537
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,000
I should take myself
home for supper.
538
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:19,640
Good day.
539
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,000
I had to just
watch him walk out.
540
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:29,136
It's unconscionable, I know,
541
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,240
but we simply have no proof.
542
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,320
Apologies. Mrs. Clam, we've
lost our appetite somewhat.
543
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,640
No, I must apologise.
544
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:42,000
I seem to be ruining breakfast,
lunch and dinner ever since.
545
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:42,840
Don't worry. Mrs C.
546
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,400
No one's noticed.
547
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:48,360
Awful to think that Lois
opened her heart to that man,
548
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,000
only to fall into
his terrible trap.
549
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:53,960
Wait, that's it.
550
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,480
A trap.
551
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,760
We send the Major an
invitation from a fake admirer.
552
00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,136
We wait for them to
crack out the bentanol
553
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,640
and then we catch
him in the act.
554
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:01,920
With respect,
555
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,360
not only are those
ethics somewhat dubious.
556
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,040
Sod the ethics!
557
00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:07,040
But what woman in her right
mind would submit herself
558
00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:09,320
to such a dangerous endeavour?
559
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:11,000
I shall do it.
560
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:12,520
Mrs. Clam, no.
561
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,280
Nonsense, I insist!
562
00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,760
If I can prevent another lone
woman from being murdered,
563
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:18,160
then...
564
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,496
That is absolutely
courageous of you,
565
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,240
but it would be
risky and dangerous.
566
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:22,960
You're on.
567
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:24,560
Good, I shall see
to the custard.
568
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,280
She's perfect.
569
00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:31,376
Are the Great Slaughter Police
really so under-resourced
570
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,840
that we would use a civilian
in a hunt-trap operation?
571
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:35,960
[laughs]
572
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:37,560
You said "we".
573
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:38,560
What?
574
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,440
Seems you're one of us now.
575
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,600
[scoffs]
576
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:49,480
So what do we think?
577
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,680
There must be something
here between milkmaid
578
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:54,400
and Moulin Rouge.
579
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:55,520
Jolly well hope so.
580
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,360
Right.
581
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,880
Let's cook the Major up an
invitation he can't refuse.
582
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,440
So how would you
describe yourself, Vera?
583
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:09,120
Tidy, churchgoing, spinster.
584
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,600
Put trim, ballroom
dancing, bon viveur.
585
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,200
Very good.
586
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:16,920
The voice of an expert.
587
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:18,360
Don't forget he has a type.
588
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,160
Put curvaceous and homely,
589
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:22,760
likes hugging and baking.
590
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:23,680
Dreadful!
591
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,040
Perfect.
592
00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:27,320
I had my suspicions
about that Major.
593
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:28,960
Do you know, he
gets more letters
594
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,600
than any other lonely heart,
595
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:33,440
even "Stronger with Livestock"
and "Tap Dancing Romeo."
596
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:34,760
Focus, Colin.
597
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:36,720
That marcel isn't
going to wave itself.
598
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:37,800
Sorry, mother.
599
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:41,680
Ready when you are.
600
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:45,000
I think this'll work.
601
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:46,240
What's your worry?
602
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:47,960
Well just that a
honey trap requires...
603
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:49,520
Well you you know
604
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:50,600
honey.
605
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:55,840
[Colin] Ready?
606
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:04,240
[whistles loudly]
607
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,840
Hells bells, Mrs C.
608
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,080
Where have you been
hiding that figure?
609
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,480
I'll thank you to rein in
the profanity Ms. Penny.
610
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:12,560
Roger that.
611
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,160
Tempted to say that what
you've both achieved
612
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,000
leaves the loaves and the
fishes somewhat in the shade.
613
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,120
We make a great
team, don't we Colin?
614
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:23,200
The best.
615
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:28,720
[Mrs. Clam] Dear
Major Heart Sing,
616
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,920
That's it, Mrs.
C. Really work it.
617
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,040
[Mrs. Clam] I noticed
your advertisement.
618
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:34,400
[Ruth] Blow us a kiss.
619
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,056
[Mrs. Clam] I wish to
invite you for supper.
620
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:39,480
Though somewhat beyond
the first flush of youth,
621
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,520
I'm told I still have a
certain twinkle in my eye.
622
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:46,920
[Major] Dear Vera,
623
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,320
I hope you won't
think me forward
624
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,160
in calling you by
your Christian name.
625
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,440
So enchanted was
I by your letter,
626
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,440
that I feel we are
already friends.
627
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,720
Needless to say,
628
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,960
I should be delighted to
accept your invitation.
629
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,800
Bear in mind that
barbital has no antidote.
630
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,480
Lethal dose is a mere 55 grains.
631
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,480
Do not drink the sherry.
632
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,536
Because otherwise we will
have to do the dubious honour
633
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:17,560
of gastric lavage.
634
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,160
How about a role-play?
635
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,280
Shall we, role-play?
636
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,120
So I'll be Major.
637
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,280
Imagine that the date
is going swimmingly,
638
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,680
and I'm about to strike.
639
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:35,760
Oh.
640
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,320
[clears throat]
641
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,840
Uh, splendid vol-au-vents, Vera.
642
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,840
Do have another, Major.
643
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,680
Oh. Don't mind if I do.
644
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:48,280
Mm...
645
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,240
Time for a top-up,
wouldn't you say?
646
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,880
Now you'll need a reason to
excuse yourself for a moment.
647
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:57,880
I think I need a lie down.
648
00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:59,480
Well, don't come on too strong.
649
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,440
No, I think I really
do need a lie down.
650
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:07,320
Might I suggest that
if things get too much,
651
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,040
Mrs. Clam could
utter a safe word?
652
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,120
And then we will intervene.
653
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:13,600
Yes. Good idea.
654
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:16,240
I like the word
somnambulant or owl.
655
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:18,600
A word that is germane
to the scenario.
656
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,160
Well, can't I just say help?
657
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,680
Macaroni. The safe
word is macaroni.
658
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:23,960
Macaroni?
659
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:25,960
Macaroni.
660
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:27,560
- [doorbell rings]
- [Mrs. Clam screams]
661
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:29,160
Oh!
662
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:30,520
Courage, Vera.
663
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:31,520
That was just Peggy.
664
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:32,720
We have some digging to do.
665
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:34,640
Godspeed, all!
666
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:38,520
Macaroni, macaroni.
667
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:54,760
Chin up, poor thing.
668
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,360
Only nine more to go.
669
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,360
Nine fields and only
one of you sister.
670
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:02,600
Yes, I do sometimes think an
extra one or two would help.
671
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:04,760
One of me could do the carrying.
672
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:06,720
Another could do
the map reading.
673
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,520
I can do the measuring.
674
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,120
I should be in
charge of digging.
675
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,280
I'll gather samples.
676
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:15,080
Oh, put me down
for tea and tiffin.
677
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:16,560
You all right, sister?
678
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:24,360
Yes. I suppose it
has been a long day.
679
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:26,680
Perhaps it's time for
a slice of Battenberg.
680
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:27,960
Oh, now you're talking.
681
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,320
[gate creaks]
682
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,160
[doorbell rings]
683
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:44,920
Vera!
684
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,000
Major.
685
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,560
You're even prettier in person.
686
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:50,800
Oh, nonsense.
687
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,760
[clears throat]
688
00:32:58,320 --> 00:32:59,320
May I?
689
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:01,880
Oh... yes.
690
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:04,600
Do come in.
691
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,360
Of course they prefer
to be shown no mercy.
692
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,280
I cut their heads off,
693
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:18,920
bury them in my cellar,
694
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,680
then dig them up when
the time is right.
695
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:21,560
What?
696
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:25,080
The tubers, the dahlias.
697
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,200
I grew them myself.
698
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:28,280
Something of a hobby.
699
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:34,600
Tell me about your interests.
700
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,840
I imagine your Foxtrot
is quite something,
701
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,120
from the looks of you.
702
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,960
My Foxtrot is
strictly off limits!
703
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:43,680
Sciatica.
704
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,480
Ah, my sympathy.
705
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:49,680
I fear my dancing days
are also behind me,
706
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:54,520
but still plenty of lead
in my pencil so to speak.
707
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,320
[Vera laughs nervously]
708
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:02,400
I shall just pop
on some Mantovani
709
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,120
and then go and warm the oven.
710
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:10,360
That one's number 17.
711
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:17,840
Yes, some intriguing nematodes,
712
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:19,360
but not what we're looking for.
713
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,280
Okay, next?
714
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:23,360
Number nine.
715
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:25,840
Like a very boring
game of bingo.
716
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:26,920
Yes.
717
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:38,120
Oh!
718
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:39,480
Bingo, Peggy my girl!
719
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:40,440
Number nine?
720
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:42,600
Erm, that's Crooked Mile Field.
721
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:44,520
So it is, yes.
722
00:34:54,720 --> 00:34:56,200
Oh my.
723
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:57,080
Didn't leave your Wellies
in the rain again,
724
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:58,160
did you sister?
725
00:34:58,200 --> 00:34:59,680
No, Peggy.
726
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,880
I fear a far greater
oversight has occurred.
727
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,560
Aren't we supposed to go in?
728
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:16,280
We need to let it play out.
729
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:19,000
Abort!
730
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:19,800
Abort!
731
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:20,880
Really?
732
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,160
Abort!
733
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:23,240
Abort, abort!
734
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:25,800
We are in the middle of...
735
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,040
The killer isn't Major Travis!
736
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:29,120
What?
737
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:30,416
Well, rather it is Major Travis,
738
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:31,640
just not that one.
739
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,120
Oh gosh, you weren't wrong.
740
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:37,640
You certainly are nimble.
741
00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:40,040
Macaroni.
742
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:41,360
Macaroni!
743
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:42,696
I think dinner can
wait, don't you?
744
00:35:42,720 --> 00:35:44,240
[Vera screams]
745
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:48,240
You may consider me
easy pickings, Major,
746
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,720
but you will not indulge
your hideous perversions
747
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:52,040
in my parlour!
748
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:53,600
Excuse me?
749
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,320
Yes. I belong to a
generation of unwed women
750
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,080
who've been put out to grass,
751
00:35:58,160 --> 00:35:59,840
but we shall not be silenced,
752
00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:02,040
and we shall certainly
not be murdered!
753
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:05,560
[both gasp]
754
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:07,600
Mrs. Clam!
755
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:12,680
Yes, let's find you a towel.
756
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,240
So this is the field
that the mud's on?
757
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:19,920
Crooked Mile Field.
758
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,400
A the railway line cuts
right through the middle.
759
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,480
So he makes sure that the
conductor stamps his ticket,
760
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,560
and then he gets off
the train a stop early.
761
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,200
And then headed back to
Lois's, across country.
762
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,280
But I simply can't see how Colin
763
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:36,280
has been passing himself
off as Major Travis.
764
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,880
Not to mention he's
20 years too young.
765
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:39,960
Colin?
766
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:45,360
You mean hair and makeup Colin?
767
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:48,760
The architect of my
lonely hearts persona?
768
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:50,360
Let's make some tea, shall we?
769
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:52,800
Tea...
770
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:55,600
Oh, of course.
771
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:59,160
The cornflour, to
whiten the hair!
772
00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:00,640
Yes!
773
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,640
I say, Colin's been studying
the Major for some time.
774
00:37:04,720 --> 00:37:06,920
Learning his
mannerisms and whatnot.
775
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:08,520
Quite the performance.
776
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:09,800
A tragedy at that.
777
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:11,600
Time for his curtain call.
778
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:15,840
Oh! [Laughs]
779
00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:19,320
[phone ringing]
780
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:27,400
Yes?
781
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:29,600
Well, he's not at his desk.
782
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,000
Fine, give me a sec.
783
00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:34,720
Proofs.
784
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,160
Proofs.
785
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:49,760
Fight over,
786
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:51,560
I just spoke to
Peggy. Safe and sound.
787
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:52,640
Splendid.
788
00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:54,760
Everything all right?
789
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:56,000
Never better!
790
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,080
[Ida] You have to
catch me first!
791
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,040
[knocking on door]
792
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:15,640
Oh, get lost, Colin!
793
00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:17,040
It's not even nine o'clock.
794
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,360
Mrs. Sweet, it's
Inspector Gillespie.
795
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,840
Is Colin not at home?
796
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,160
No, I told him...
797
00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:29,960
Asked him to stay out.
798
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:36,680
One-to-one rehearsal.
799
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:40,360
It's a very challenging scene.
800
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:42,240
Do you have any
idea where Colin is?
801
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:43,320
No.
802
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:00,560
Looking for these?
803
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,440
I believe you have
something of mine.
804
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,080
Perhaps we could do an exchange.
805
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,760
And what if I say no?
806
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:10,976
Are you going to do to me what
you did to those other women?
807
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,320
Heaven's no.
808
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:13,800
You're not at all
the Major's type.
809
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:19,760
[Ruth exclaims]
810
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:21,920
You're nothing but a coward!
811
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,280
[Ruth gasping]
812
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:25,480
Colin, please!
813
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:29,680
[Sam] Ruth!
814
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:34,360
Show's over, Colin.
815
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:38,880
Take him away.
816
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:41,576
[Felix] You are not
obliged to say anything
817
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:42,600
unless you wish to do so,
818
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:43,840
but what you say may...
819
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:45,320
Slow gentle breaths, soldier.
820
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:47,680
Ruth.
821
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:50,520
I'm fine.
822
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:52,920
Nothing worse than
a broken fingernail.
823
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,760
I'm so sorry I let
that happen to you.
824
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,400
[Ruth gasping]
825
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:04,880
So, Rodolfo came on the scene
and you were jealous, angry.
826
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,080
You felt replaced, betrayed.
827
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:09,800
He hasn't even
learned his lines.
828
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,000
Where'd you get
the bentanol from?
829
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:14,680
Mother had a stash.
830
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:16,640
I remember watching
her take it at bedtime,
831
00:40:16,720 --> 00:40:18,760
always the same teacup.
832
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:24,720
The Lily sent of the cold
cream, the bliss on her face.
833
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:27,080
She drifted into oblivion.
834
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:28,360
So the cold cream
835
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,120
wasn't about making
your victims anonymous.
836
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,520
It was about
turning them to Ida,
837
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:34,720
a version of Ida that
you could control.
838
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:36,560
Like she controlled you.
839
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:38,440
Mother never forgave me.
840
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:39,400
For what?
841
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:40,680
She had ambitions,
842
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,320
Shaftesbury Avenue, Broadway.
843
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,480
But father ran off and
she had to ditch it all
844
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,200
to look after me.
845
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:49,560
Times were tough.
846
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:51,560
She was good at spotting talent,
847
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:55,520
and my talent was
jigsaw puzzles.
848
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:58,880
She started drinking heavily.
849
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:00,520
Prize money was a lifeline.
850
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,480
Second place means you lost.
851
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:11,040
[stopwatch ticking]
852
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:19,120
[timer rings]
853
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,600
Let's not let nerves get the
better of us again, shall we?
854
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:48,200
It's a sad story.
855
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:51,040
But people have worse
mothers than yours.
856
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,360
You don't see them plying
women with barbiturates
857
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:54,880
and watching them die.
858
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,360
You know, I've
never hurt mother.
859
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,480
I love her, despite how
she's been carrying on.
860
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,920
Honestly, it's unseemly.
861
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,120
Unseemly?
862
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:06,440
Three women are dead.
863
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:08,680
Oh dear.
864
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:11,960
You're hurting.
865
00:42:13,240 --> 00:42:14,520
You feel you failed.
866
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,000
We've so much in common.
867
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:19,320
No, we're done.
868
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:21,920
And you're in jail,
869
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:25,280
hopefully for the
rest of your life.
870
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:29,000
I don't fear incarceration.
871
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:32,600
After all, a lock is
just another puzzle.
872
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,176
Put the pieces in
the correct order
873
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,160
and it's open sesame.
874
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:51,600
Ready?
875
00:42:55,720 --> 00:42:57,160
Not bad news I hope?
876
00:42:58,520 --> 00:42:59,920
It's from the Major.
877
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:01,440
Oh dear.
878
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:02,640
Dry cleaning bill?
879
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:05,440
May I?
880
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:10,640
Dear Vera,
881
00:43:10,720 --> 00:43:13,840
so taken was I by your
pluck and fortitude,
882
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:17,400
not to mention your
delightful hors d'oeuvres,
883
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:19,080
that I would wish to see...
884
00:43:22,240 --> 00:43:23,360
See you again.
885
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:28,280
There's only one mom
that I want to see again.
886
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:33,160
Today would have been
Cyril's 70th birthday.
887
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:37,120
I expected to be
surrounded by children
888
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:38,800
and grandchildren by now.
889
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:41,480
He was a brave man.
890
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:44,440
The bravest.
891
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:46,640
And the best.
892
00:43:48,240 --> 00:43:49,720
He would've been proud of you.
893
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:54,680
Come along!
894
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:56,720
Those bells aren't going
to ring themselves.
895
00:44:03,720 --> 00:44:06,560
[theme song plays]
57402
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