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[Joanna]
I'm not sick.
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I haven't had cancer
this whole time.
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I've just been lying.
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00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,628
[Patricia]
Everybody on your mark.
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00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,380
We are going live.
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00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:54,929
[indistinct chatter]
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[director]
Stand by V.O.
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00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,688
-[upbeat music playing]
-[Donna] In association
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00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,231
with the American Cure
Foundation,
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00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:07,275
the Special Value Network
is thrilled
11
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,861
to present
a very special weekend
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00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,946
of shopping for a cause.
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[director]
Widen that out a little bit.
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00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,077
[somber music playing]
15
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,454
[Donna] Every year,
1.8 million Americans
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are diagnosed with cancer.
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00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,874
And at SVN,
we stand with those
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00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,292
who are bravely fighting,
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00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:27,754
especially our very own
Joanna Gold.
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00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,672
[upbeat music playing]
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I'm Joanna Gold,
and I'm a cancer crusader,
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00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:34,594
and it's time to...
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00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:37,722
SVN cares
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00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,058
[all] Shop cancer's ass.
25
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,601
[laughter]
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00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,561
[director] Clear.
27
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:44,896
Guys, I'm so sorry.
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00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,523
Eat shit, Joanna.
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30
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-Fucking fraud.
-[Donna] ...Cure Foundation,
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00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,947
the Special Value
Network is thrilled...
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You have got to get me
out of this.
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00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,117
Everyone hates her.
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00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:58,284
[Donna]
...shopping for a cause
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00:01:58,326 --> 00:01:59,828
with your favorite
36
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,579
SVN friends like
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00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:04,124
Beth Ann McGann,
38
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:06,167
Perry St. James,
39
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:09,003
and Jackie Stilton appearing
together for the very first time
40
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:10,630
with Joanna Gold,
41
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,424
and a live appearance
from celebrity
42
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,135
Ryan Phillippe.
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00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:17,679
So, grab your wallet
for amazing deals
44
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,681
all weekend on glitz...
45
00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:22,809
I would go home at night,
and I would
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00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:25,436
think about you,
and I would pray, "Oh, please,
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00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:28,523
God, I hope that she
pulls through." I was really
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00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,150
worried about you.
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00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,985
I feel so stupid.
50
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,487
Oh, my gosh, no.
Th-This isn't...
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00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:37,323
People tune in, and they trust
you. Do you understand that?
52
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:39,492
How can you do that
to your fans?
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00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,452
[Beena] Clear for set.
Ten seconds to air.
54
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:42,996
I can't believe you.
55
00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:44,789
-[theme music playing]
-I'm so sorry.
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00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,499
I want to throw up.
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00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,668
[director]
Five, four,
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00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,170
three...
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00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:52,505
- SVN cares
-[Jackie] Well,
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00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,090
hey there, y'all.
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00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:57,010
Are we ready to have some fun
for a good cause?
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00:02:57,051 --> 00:03:00,847
I am here with Joanna Gold.
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00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,682
Joanna, aren't you thrilled
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00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,684
that everyone
is tuning in to help you?
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00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:07,353
Yes, it's a yes, yes.
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00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:11,024
Um... and I'll...
I will tell you one thing,
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00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:13,693
I'm just so grateful
for the opportunity
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00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,737
to be out here with my...
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00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:17,864
-Mm.
-...good friend Jackie Stilton,
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00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:21,034
who is... she's the greatest
of the great.
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00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:23,244
Yeah... Yes, yes, yes.
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00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:25,914
Now, if you don't know
the Prince Charming Charms line
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00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:28,333
from Charmers of Canada,
you are in for such a treat.
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00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:31,294
Look at this sparkle.
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00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:32,545
[Joanna]
Now, let me take you
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00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,214
through some of my charms, okay?
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00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:36,174
We have the comedy
and tragedy masks,
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00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,426
the enamel bagel with lox,
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00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,845
we have the
"Yes All Women" spatula.
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00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,555
And, Joanna,
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00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,016
this is cool 'cause we have
our Super V special today,
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00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,060
which is the leukemia
ribbon charm.
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00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,686
How does that make you feel,
Joanna?
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00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,980
Thinking of all your
loyal viewers out there
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00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:53,399
supporting you by buying these
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00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,318
leukemia ribbon charms?
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00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,694
-It... Yeah.
-What does it feel like?
88
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,363
-I'm so curious.
-Feel... I'm processing
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00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,198
-'cause it's so much...
-I would imagine.
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00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,325
-Emotional. Um...
-Mm-hmm.
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00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,202
[Joanna]
Now, this is the special edition
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00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,246
-friendship collection.
-[Jackie] Mm.
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00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,915
And any of these charms,
they just make the perfect gift
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00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,417
for that close friend
who's been through
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00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,086
-thick and thin with you...
-Mm.
96
00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:15,380
...and understands that,
hey, you're not perfect,
97
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:16,923
but you'll always
be their friend.
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00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,425
Oh. Or, you know,
you can just pick them up
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00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,761
as a little treat for yourself,
if you want.
100
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,932
And, so, let me
take you through...
101
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,476
I just want to talk to you
because I am ready
102
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,978
for us to...
103
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:32,772
-Okay, thank you.
-...have a moment and talk about
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00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,275
what we're gonna be
and to explore whatever this is.
105
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,193
-Sweetheart.
-Yes?
106
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,945
It's a no for me.
107
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,406
What?
108
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,907
Well...
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00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,618
I literally just left
my husband for you.
110
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,078
-Oh, honey, no.
-[Beena] You're live.
111
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,205
[both]
Hi!
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00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,249
Hello there, my darling ones.
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00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,042
We're here talking shop
for a cause,
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00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:55,962
get in the kitchen, comfort
food. Now, say it with me...
115
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:56,963
[both]
Dump cakes.
116
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,716
Now, Perry, what is a dump cake?
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00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:01,301
Well, I was just about to say.
118
00:05:01,342 --> 00:05:03,303
It's just about the easiest
cake on the planet.
119
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:04,929
No mixing bowl, no nothing,
120
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,597
you just dump it
right into the pan.
121
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,808
And what we have for you today
is the Cheff's Kiss
122
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:11,144
Bellissimo Springform Cake Pan.
123
00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:13,646
Now, this is
an aluminum, non-stick,
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00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,148
for those of you
who aren't familiar
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00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:17,317
with the Bellissimo
Cheff's Kiss collection.
126
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:18,818
Now, I'll-I'll help you, honey,
'cause it's actually not
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00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,987
"Cheff's Kiss,"
it's "Cheff's Kiss"
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00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,323
because they've all been
designed by celebrity chef
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00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:25,867
Daryl Cheff, with the hard "ch."
130
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,660
-Daryl Cheff.
-Don't you love when a man
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00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,620
explains how things work to you?
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00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,539
You okay?
133
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,291
Aren't you supposed to be
on a plane?
134
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,959
[sighs] I was just thinking,
135
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,919
"Why am I gonna go cozy up
to some rich people who
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00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,088
don't give a fuck about me when
I can just do that right here?"
137
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,798
[chuckles]
138
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,550
Thank you.
139
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,346
-Oh.
-Mm.
140
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:49,098
Oh, my God, you're hugging me.
141
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:52,393
Wow. We hug now.
142
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,479
[chuckles]
143
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,689
So... what're we gonna do
144
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:59,025
about Rachel Dolezal here?
Should we yank her?
145
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,528
No. Nobody finds out about this.
146
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:05,823
Now we're in FCC fraud
territory.
147
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,367
Hey.
148
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,035
You doing okay?
149
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,287
Not really.
150
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,498
White women'll fuck you.
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00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:16,167
We got our flour, our sugar,
and we're gonna start
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00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,044
by cracking some eggs
right into the pan.
153
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,046
Ooh, I love that it's non-dairy.
That's great.
154
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,632
Oh, well, uh, an egg is dairy,
darling. [chuckles]
155
00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:24,050
No, no, it's not.
156
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,468
Uh, it's an animal product,
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00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,345
that's dairy, angel. [chuckles]
158
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,888
-We're gonna start--
-Dairy actually comes from
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00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:31,557
a cow, so... Wait, Perry,
did you think that eggs
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00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:33,142
-came from cows?
-Oh, no.
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00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,977
An egg is such a dairy,
it's not even funny.
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00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:38,147
No, I'm positive, because I just
took my kids to a dairy farm.
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00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:39,649
Haven't you seen a food pyramid?
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00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:41,442
Why do I know more
about this than you do?
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00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,069
I think you're kind of stepping
in it right now, honey,
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00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,570
-'cause that is not the truth.
-I'm... [stammers]
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00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:46,239
I know that an egg is d-dairy.
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00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,990
Egg is not dairy. Is egg dairy?
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00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:49,700
Would someone
look it up, please?
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00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,911
'Cause I'm gonna tell
you what right now, an egg...
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00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:55,540
is D-A-I-R-E-Y, dairy.
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00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,208
Is it spelled with an "E-Y"
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00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,835
-or is it just "Y"?
-Look it up. Just look it up.
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00:06:58,876 --> 00:06:59,752
Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna lose it right now.
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00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,421
You're gonna drive me
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00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:02,755
-to drink, Beth Ann.
-[Beena] Cut to Phillippe.
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00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:03,923
We promised you
that we would have
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00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,258
a very special guest today,
179
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:07,385
and we did not disappoint.
180
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,763
I'm standing here with
one of Hollywood's hottest.
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00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:14,684
Please welcome our guest,
Ryan Phillippe.
182
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:17,228
Now, you may know Ryan
as an actor,
183
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,272
an icon, a heartthrob,
184
00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:23,276
but did you know that he is also
an amazing entrepreneur
185
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,570
who has brought
his brilliant line to us today.
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00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:27,447
Ryan, tell us about
what you brought.
187
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,407
Ryan Phillippe Steaks.
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00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,242
Okay.
189
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,120
Can you tell us sort of
the story of what brought you
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00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,746
to the world of meats and beefs?
191
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,123
Well... [chuckles]
192
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,000
-It's such a funny story.
-[chuckles]
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00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:40,877
Every time I go out to dinner,
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00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:42,587
I order the steak.
195
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,131
And then what happened?
196
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,133
That's the story. It's funny.
197
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,597
Well, these look
so freaking good.
198
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,266
And I just want to take you
through some of our other, um,
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00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,268
features of the steak, which
200
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,353
there are s... oh, so very many.
201
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,189
Um, first of all,
the box itself.
202
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:03,065
Imagine getting this box
at your door,
203
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:04,942
you're coming home
to a box of steak.
204
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,944
[stammers] Need I say more?
205
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,446
But you got to open it
right away
206
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,156
because we don't pack it in ice.
207
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,621
You know, there was a time
208
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,748
when you were an inspiration
to me, Pat.
209
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:21,334
Not just as a businesswoman,
but as a friend.
210
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:23,169
I cannot believe
you would do this.
211
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,504
Do what?
212
00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,422
Do what?
Orchestrate this lie with Joanna
213
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,090
so you could sell more shit.
214
00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:31,010
The same exact way
you made me lie about Marty.
215
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,178
Thank you, honey.
216
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,388
Okay. Now, hold on.
217
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,474
-No, you hold on.
-No, you hold on.
218
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:40,228
Jackie, I did not know
219
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:42,772
that she was lying about cancer.
220
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:45,650
Really? You really expect me
to believe that?
221
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,401
[chuckles]
222
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:48,819
I don't even know what the fuck
is true anymore,
223
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,279
but I know one thing,
224
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:53,366
I know that you're
not stopping it, and you,
225
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:55,117
Pat, are still
making money off it,
226
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:57,078
and don't pretend you're not.
227
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,790
[Joanna]
Now, we are almost sold out
228
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,124
of the pre-grilled samplers...
229
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,126
-Uh, which everybody loves.
-Yes.
230
00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:06,712
But we do have
a few left of the skirt.
231
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:08,881
And, as we say in my house,
232
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,259
nothing says "meat"
like Ryan "Philleep."
233
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,219
I thought it was pronounced
"Phillipp-ee"?
234
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,346
Yeah, but that doesn't rhyme
with meat.
235
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,224
Well, I mean,
neither does "Philleep."
236
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,142
[sighs] Okay.
237
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:24,397
Nothing says "filet"
like Ryan "Phillipay."
238
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:27,400
Your team kind of
prepped me, uh,
239
00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:29,235
before we met,
on how to pronounce your name,
240
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,279
and I-I could've sworn
it was "Phillippe,"
241
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,197
but it could've been
a misunderstanding on my...
242
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:36,033
So, you want to tell me
how to pronounce my own name?
243
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:39,662
[Beena]
Woof. Cut to kitchen set.
244
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:42,540
Where is it in the, in the, in
the k... in the grocery store?
245
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,916
In the... It's in...
246
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,543
-No. Okay. I...
-Dairy section.
247
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,919
It's in the dairy section.
That's confusing, but
248
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,504
it is not. It is actually
non-dairy because
249
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:49,964
I've looked this up before.
250
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,549
-I have...
-You've looked it up
251
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,758
'cause you didn't know.
That makes sense now.
252
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,385
[director]
It's not dairy.
253
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:02,143
So, Perry, what else do we dump?
254
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:06,105
[Beena] Yuck. Let's just cut
to the final segment. Cue Donna.
255
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,274
[Donna]
On behalf of everyone at SVN
256
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,067
and the American
Cure Foundation,
257
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:11,861
Thanks for watching.
258
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:13,946
Now, keep those wallets open
because Joanna Gold
259
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,115
and Jackie Stilton
are back with more deals
260
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,450
and a special announcement.
261
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,745
Is Jackie coming or...?
262
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:21,787
[Beena] Jackie won't go
on stage with you.
263
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,205
Well, cool.
264
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:24,457
[Beena]
You had it all.
265
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:26,542
But now you have nothing.
266
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,420
[Joanna]
Okay, so, let me
267
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,631
show, uh, you
some of these.
268
00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:34,925
If you don't have a bracelet
to display your charms on,
269
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:37,136
you are in luck.
270
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,764
The bracelet itself today in
271
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,641
ten karat Goldique, which
272
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,643
-is just bold...
-Here.
273
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,102
I know you think
I have too much stuff,
274
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,729
so I've started
getting rid of things
275
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,064
that I don't care about anymore,
so you can take it.
276
00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:49,231
It's yours.
277
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,566
[sighs]
278
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,151
[Joanna]
So bold, so chic.
279
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,986
Absolutely love.
280
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,821
Don't go.
281
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:58,491
What?
282
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,538
I have cancer.
283
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,791
What?
284
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:09,043
No, you don't.
285
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:12,505
I know you think
it's a lie because...
286
00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:14,674
everything that's going on.
287
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:20,012
But it's true, baby.
[crying]
288
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,514
Oh, no, you should've told me.
289
00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:23,849
Why didn't you tell me?
290
00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:26,352
Oh, Pat.
291
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,688
Well-well,
let's go to our phones.
292
00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:31,982
Our next caller is Shannon
from Cleveland, Ohio.
293
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,276
Hey, that's my hometown.
294
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,696
[Shannon] Hello, Joanna.
I don't know if you remember,
295
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:39,448
but I was your nurse
when you were sick as a kid.
296
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:42,368
Remember on my birthday,
when you stole my cookie cake?
297
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,829
Of-of course I remember.
298
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,956
[Shannon]
You were a real piece of work,
299
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:49,709
and we were all so sad to hear
your cancer came back,
300
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,210
but all the nurses here
301
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,671
are buying ribbon charms
to support you.
302
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:57,550
Well, thank you so much
303
00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:01,178
for your support,
Shannon, and, um...
304
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,682
And look at how that catches
the light and then...
305
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,559
Um...
306
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,269
And I'm...
307
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:11,021
And I-I can't do this.
308
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,523
I'm sorry.
309
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,109
-God...
-[Joanna] I can't do this.
310
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,403
The thing is...
311
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:20,906
you've all been so good to me,
312
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:24,535
and you deserve the truth.
313
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,954
slow, sentimental music
314
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:30,583
I don't actually have cancer.
315
00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:32,418
I lied
316
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:36,088
about my cancer coming back.
317
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:39,759
I guess I did it because...
318
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,595
Honestly, my first week here,
319
00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:46,432
I got fired, and I just...
I didn't want to lose this job.
320
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:48,350
I guess I just felt like
321
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:50,603
I wasn't enough.
322
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:54,440
And that is such
323
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:57,943
a bad feeling.
324
00:12:57,985 --> 00:13:00,905
And I'm gonna donate
325
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:04,617
$100 to the American
Cure Foundation.
326
00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:05,868
[Beena]
This isn't live.
327
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,036
-They cut away from you.
-What?
328
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,288
This isn't airing.
329
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:12,500
-What's airing?
-[Danny] Now remember,
330
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,418
we have the three step,
the four step
331
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,420
and then the customizable steps.
332
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,631
-Well, when did they cut away?
-[Beena] Patricia cut your feed
333
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:20,841
right before you started
trying to tank the network
334
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,718
with all your cancer bullshit.
335
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,025
[Danny]
Don't sit on this deal, folks.
336
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,111
Step on it and get yourself
some pet steps.
337
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,197
upbeat music playing
338
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:47,493
Good evening.
339
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:50,162
For those of you
who don't read Forbes,
340
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,081
I'm Patricia Cochran,
341
00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:54,834
founder and CEO
342
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:57,670
of the Special Value Network.
343
00:13:57,711 --> 00:14:00,756
I'd like to apologize
for the momentary interruption
344
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:04,510
you just experienced,
and assure you
345
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:07,346
that the Prince Charming
Charmers Charms
346
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,848
remain available.
347
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:12,101
I want to thank every one of you
348
00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:16,021
for participating in
the SVN Cares charity weekend,
349
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:19,316
supporting a cause that is...
350
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:22,027
near and dear to us all.
351
00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:25,030
I, myself,
was recently diagnosed
352
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,490
with breast cancer.
353
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,869
I have not shared
this information publicly
354
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:33,706
for fear that it may roil
international stock markets.
355
00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:36,208
[Jackie] But I've realized
that there is strength
356
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,335
in sharing our stories.
357
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,629
[Patricia]
But I've realized
358
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,089
there is strength
359
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,592
in sharing our stories.
360
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:46,385
[Jackie] And no matter
what we tell ourselves
361
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,596
about how strong we are...
362
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,723
And no matter
what we tell ourselves
363
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:52,683
-[Jackie] We need each other.
-...about how strong we are,
364
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,351
we need each other.
365
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,729
And I know that nobody
will think less of me
366
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,564
-And I know that nobody...
-[Jackie] ...for needing help.
367
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,358
...will think less of me
for needing help.
368
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,902
Because it's not weak
to tell the truth.
369
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,737
Because it's
not weak to tell the truth.
370
00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:06,530
-[Jackie] It's brave.
-It's brave.
371
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:09,742
And I want you to know,
I love you.
372
00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:11,827
slow, sentimental music
373
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:17,207
And I want you to know
that I love you.
374
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,251
[Patricia]
Everyone at home
375
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:22,421
who has supported us,
376
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:23,714
we love you.
377
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,883
So let's be brave,
378
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,093
come together,
379
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,929
and shop.
380
00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:31,388
And next week,
381
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,975
Jackie Stilton is back on
Beautiful You
382
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:36,852
with an exclusive line
383
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:39,188
of stunning
spiritual accessories
384
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:42,316
called Crystal Buddiez.
385
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:43,984
[chuckles]
386
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,862
You won't want to miss that.
Thank you.
387
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,238
[director]
Go to stage four.
388
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,698
Here's a little tribute
389
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:50,866
to all you
cancer people at home.
390
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,159
Hit it, Ashley.
391
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,244
[Perry]
Sometimes
392
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,914
In our lives, yeah
393
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,249
We all have pain...
You felt it.
394
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,961
We all have
395
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,046
Sorrow
396
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,590
But
397
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,760
If we are wise...
Like an owl.
398
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,805
We know that there's
399
00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:16,809
Always tomorrow
400
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:18,477
- Now, just call...
-What?
401
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,229
[Perry]
On me, brother...
402
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:21,563
It's a good song.
403
00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:23,273
A hand, we all
404
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,609
Need somebody
405
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:28,445
To lean on
406
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:31,657
I just might have a problem
407
00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:38,205
slow, somber music
408
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,499
409
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:44,294
God, I just...
I don't want to talk to you.
410
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,006
Do you want me to get you
your gravity blanket?
411
00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:51,176
Are you a sociopath?
412
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:54,638
I'm so sorry,
413
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,933
but... I really do love you.
414
00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,769
And for what it's worth,
415
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:03,731
one of the things
I love most about you
416
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:06,692
is that you make me feel
like this...
417
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:11,447
beautiful woman, and not just
some girl with cancer.
418
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,869
Because you're not
a girl with cancer.
419
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:18,912
You don't have it.
420
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,499
I do love you, okay?
That's real.
421
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,793
Joanna, you don't just,
like, get to say,
422
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:27,379
"I lied about having cancer,
but I love you."
423
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,506
Okay? You lied,
424
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:30,799
so none of it is real.
425
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:32,926
None of it was real?
426
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:35,054
[sighs]
427
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,681
slow, sorrowful music
428
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,767
429
00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:51,195
Hi.
430
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:53,489
Hi...
431
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:57,618
Um, I'd like to meet
with Patricia, and I
432
00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:59,578
know that I'm supposed to
go through you.
433
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,205
[Darcy scoffs]
434
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:04,541
Yeah, thanks. I appreciate it.
I'll let her know.
435
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:08,879
I get why you did it.
436
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:13,342
Like, don't get me wrong,
I think it was super fucked up,
437
00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:16,512
but... I do get it.
438
00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:18,180
Thanks, Darcy.
439
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:20,265
If you need, like,
a job or whatever,
440
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:21,934
I actually know
the casting director
441
00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:24,353
who puts people on Taxi TV
to talk about, like,
442
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,688
pizza restaurants and stuff,
which is, like,
443
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:29,733
perfect for your skill set,
so just let me know.
444
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,236
Okay. Thanks.
445
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,948
Okay.
446
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:39,159
[chuckles]
447
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,203
slow, wistful music
448
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,789
449
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,018
You broke my heart.
450
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:27,416
I know I'm getting fired,
451
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:29,751
and, therefore,
452
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:33,130
I wanted to tender
my resignation.
453
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,091
Whether I work here or not,
454
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,177
I'm here for you.
455
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,471
And...
456
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,223
I think you
should get treatment.
457
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,309
Thank you for all you did
458
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,477
for bringing
your doctor here and all.
459
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:51,148
Oh. That was my dad.
460
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,401
You are so fucked up.
461
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,361
I know.
462
00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:01,491
Hey, um, I was wondering
if you could write a letter
463
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,952
saying that you laid me off?
464
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,996
Because it would be
a huge help with, like,
465
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,081
eligibility for COBRA
466
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:09,541
or whatever.
467
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,960
Jesus, Joanna.
468
00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,962
You can sell anything.
469
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,715
I have never met
anyone like you.
470
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,260
[sighs]
471
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,846
Well, goodbye.
472
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,140
I've really... enjoyed--
473
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,476
You don't talk.
474
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,604
I talk.
475
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:35,484
You fucking lied to me.
476
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,114
[sighs]
477
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:44,993
And I think that shit
was brilliant.
478
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:46,745
energetic, dramatic music
playing
479
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,914
Don't ever fuck with me
480
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,750
or my money ever again.
481
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,001
Yeah.
482
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:55,587
-Mm. Mm.
-Mm-hmm.
483
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:58,090
Now, listen.
484
00:20:58,131 --> 00:21:00,592
Here's how it's gonna go.
485
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,553
Many of you are aware of my
486
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,806
struggles with cancer,
487
00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:08,767
and I am so thrilled
488
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:12,729
to share with
all of you that I...
489
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:15,274
am cured.
490
00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:18,610
I don't have cancer "anymo."
491
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:21,280
No mo'. She gone.
492
00:21:21,321 --> 00:21:23,323
"Beautiful Girl" by INXS
493
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,450
494
00:21:40,507 --> 00:21:43,135
Nicky's in the corner
495
00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:46,722
With a black coat on
496
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:51,768
Runnin' from a bad home
497
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:54,646
With some cat inside
498
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,648
I'm not sick.
499
00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:59,443
I-I haven't had cancer
this whole time.
500
00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:01,653
I-I've just been lying.
501
00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:03,780
Lights
502
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:05,157
That haunt
503
00:22:05,198 --> 00:22:06,867
Thanks, babe.
504
00:22:06,908 --> 00:22:09,161
She says
505
00:22:09,202 --> 00:22:11,496
Stay with me...
506
00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:13,957
-[surgeon] Ms. Cochran.
- Stay with me
507
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:16,793
You did great.
I'll be back to check in on you.
508
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:18,962
Stay with me
509
00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:22,382
[Patricia]
Oh, Jackie,
510
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:25,844
you got me flowers. [chuckles]
511
00:22:25,886 --> 00:22:28,305
You old pussy.
512
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,849
They're actually from your son.
513
00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,809
I told him.
514
00:22:34,102 --> 00:22:35,979
Stay with me...
515
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:37,481
[sighs]
516
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,691
[Joanna over TV]
And speaking of wellness,
517
00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:42,611
uh, I just want to talk about
some of these amazing
518
00:22:42,652 --> 00:22:45,655
luxury products by By Joan.
519
00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:47,824
Now, first of all,
I want to take you
520
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:49,659
through my tincture.
521
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:52,704
As a reminder, all of these
products by By Joan
522
00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:54,664
are available on our app,
523
00:22:54,706 --> 00:22:57,292
you can call in,
or you can go online.
524
00:22:57,334 --> 00:22:59,044
Thank you so much
for joining us,
525
00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:01,046
and we'll see you next time.
526
00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:02,798
Clear.
527
00:23:02,839 --> 00:23:05,884
528
00:23:09,012 --> 00:23:11,390
Um... Excuse me.
529
00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:13,183
Um, could I just have
530
00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:16,520
everyone's attention
for a moment?
531
00:23:18,146 --> 00:23:20,232
Um...
532
00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:23,693
I know that this
whole situation feels
533
00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:26,905
diarrhea for all of you,
534
00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:28,949
and-and I want you to know
535
00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:33,036
it feels diarrhea for me, too.
536
00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:36,456
And I'm just, I'm so, so sorry.
537
00:23:36,498 --> 00:23:38,375
-[man 1] Who cares?
-[man 2] Yeah. Okay.
538
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:39,459
[sighs]
539
00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:41,586
[low, indistinct chatter]
540
00:23:48,468 --> 00:23:50,178
slow, somber music
541
00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:52,264
542
00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:03,859
Said the bitch.
543
00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:20,709
[gasps] Oh, my God.
544
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:23,753
[Joanna]
Look,
545
00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:25,464
I know everyone hates me,
546
00:24:25,505 --> 00:24:28,633
and I can accept that,
but what I cannot accept
547
00:24:28,675 --> 00:24:32,012
is you hating me,
and us not being friends.
548
00:24:34,931 --> 00:24:36,308
Well, tough cookies, Joanna,
549
00:24:36,349 --> 00:24:37,559
'cause we're not
really friends anymore.
550
00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:40,312
Well, I hate to break it to you,
551
00:24:40,353 --> 00:24:41,938
but I know that
you still love me.
552
00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:44,858
Well, I don't know if you heard,
but love is a verb,
553
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:46,526
and you haven't been
verb-ing me.
554
00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:49,488
Well, I'm going to.
555
00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:52,866
I'm gonna do whatever it takes.
556
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:55,494
I don't even know
where I'm gonna start,
557
00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:58,163
because you can't just fix
something like this overnight.
558
00:24:58,205 --> 00:25:00,832
This repair is a gonna be
a fucking project, Joanna.
559
00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:03,627
Well, that's perfect,
560
00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:05,795
because I love projects.
561
00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:07,797
[Jackie] And I'm going
to be mad for a long time,
562
00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:09,299
and I'm going to need
to be allowed
563
00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:10,675
to be mad for a long time.
564
00:25:10,717 --> 00:25:12,135
Absolutely.
565
00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:13,929
[Jackie] This is therapy
territory, Joanna.
566
00:25:13,970 --> 00:25:17,140
Like, major therapy, you and me,
like, more than once a week.
567
00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:19,184
-Mm-hmm.
-And my insurance has a big
568
00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:21,353
deductible, so you're gonna have
to put it on your insurance.
569
00:25:21,394 --> 00:25:24,689
Yeah. Great.
Insurance is no object.
570
00:25:24,731 --> 00:25:27,025
And I want your coffee syrups.
571
00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:28,527
All of them?
572
00:25:28,568 --> 00:25:29,736
Yes.
573
00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:31,988
[sighs] Deal.
574
00:25:32,030 --> 00:25:34,824
You get all
of the coffee syrups.
575
00:25:37,118 --> 00:25:38,578
[sniffles]
576
00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:41,206
I really miss you.
577
00:25:43,625 --> 00:25:46,711
I really miss you, too.
578
00:25:46,753 --> 00:25:48,755
sweet, optimistic music
579
00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:51,049
580
00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:56,388
But how do I know that
you can really do all this?
581
00:25:56,429 --> 00:25:59,140
Let you walk away,
just let you leave...
582
00:25:59,182 --> 00:26:01,059
Because I'm gonna
prove it to you.
583
00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:04,563
Damn it, Joanna.
584
00:26:04,604 --> 00:26:06,982
Taking every breath
585
00:26:07,023 --> 00:26:10,694
With you, ooh
586
00:26:10,735 --> 00:26:14,072
You're the only one
who really knew me...
587
00:26:14,114 --> 00:26:16,575
I tried this on,
but it looks better on you.
588
00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:23,164
How can you just
walk away from me?
589
00:26:23,206 --> 00:26:27,335
When all I can do
is watch you leave
590
00:26:27,377 --> 00:26:31,548
'Cause we've shared
the laughter and the pain
591
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:34,050
And even shared the tears...
592
00:26:34,092 --> 00:26:35,760
[cell phone buzzing]
593
00:26:35,802 --> 00:26:37,262
You're the only one...
594
00:26:37,304 --> 00:26:39,139
-Hello?
-[man over phone] Joanna Gold?
595
00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:40,932
Who is this?
596
00:26:40,974 --> 00:26:43,518
I'm calling from the office
of Leslie Dean LaFarge,
597
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,271
President and CEO
of the Home Shopping Network.
598
00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:49,065
-HSN.
-Leslie is a huge fan of yours
599
00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:52,110
and would love to meet you to
discuss a potential opportunity
600
00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:54,946
for you to host
your own show at our network.
601
00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:57,991
-My own show?
-Yes. Are you interested?
602
00:27:00,952 --> 00:27:02,203
Yes.
603
00:27:02,245 --> 00:27:06,333
So, take a look at me now
604
00:27:06,374 --> 00:27:10,754
Oh, there's just
an empty space
605
00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:15,258
And there's nothing left here
to remind me
606
00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:18,470
Just the memory of your face
607
00:27:18,511 --> 00:27:22,641
Now, take a look at me now
608
00:27:22,682 --> 00:27:27,562
'Cause there's just
an empty space
609
00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:31,858
But to wait for you
is all I can do
610
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:34,819
And that's what
I've got to face
611
00:27:34,861 --> 00:27:38,740
Take a good look at me now
612
00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:43,662
'Cause I'll still be
standing here
613
00:27:43,703 --> 00:27:48,625
And you coming back to me
is against all odds
614
00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:52,712
It's the chance
I've got to take
615
00:27:57,884 --> 00:27:59,511
[man]
No traipsing.
71362
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